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About The Eugene City guard. (Eugene City, Or.) 1870-1899 | View Entire Issue (May 6, 1887)
EUGEHE CUT GUARD. EUGENE CITT, OREGON. htrt jhMlW-MUl I UMMt. When jou asked for my bund, and I answered you "yes!" I certainly loved you thou. For I thought you all that a husband should be, And better tlmn mmt of the men; But alnoe you have uttered aoma notions ol your On the wife you export to obtain, I bare a half doubt If we're suited for mates Yon should marry my grand-aunt Jane. Yon aay that a woman ihould gentleness be, With a timid and downcast eyo, And govern her temper and bridle her tongue, Howevur much trouble may try. But I'm gentle alone when they're gontle with me, I poulc with an uttnrunoe plain, And I look a man square in the face when I speak You should murry my grand-aunt June. Yon say that woman should close up nor ears To the gossp that travels around, And always rumuln with her dutlut at home, Whure a wife should fimivor be found. But whan visitors ehiitUir I lot them talk on, While my thoughts In my mind 1 retain, And I like the front air now and then for a change Yon should marry my grand-aunt Jane. Ere was tuken from Adam, you say oh, yesl From a rib she wus fusliloneil complete ; Hut you II please to romombur she cumo from bis side. And not from his hood nor his feet. And though in the limit mutrlmoulul state As absolute monurch you'd reign, I fear my ruln-lllon might ruin the realm You should murry my grund aunt June. My kinswoman now Is past fifty, they say; And never a potulunt word Has ever escaped from her Innocent mouth, And slander sho never bus heurd; While sho never goes gadding away from her homo; And the cause of ber goodness Is plnln She was deuf. she Vus dumb, sho wus luine from her birth You should murry my grund-uunt June. If yon seek not a slave, nor a toy, but a wife, With a heart thut Is loyal und true', Who will bring you affection as warm as your own, And the honor she knows Is your due, I am yours to the end, be It hitter or sweet, A sharer In pleasure or p iln ; But if other your views about marriage, why, then. Yon should marry my grand-aunt Juno.' Thomat Dunn ICmjllih, in X Y. ltdffr. VIA THE TELEPHONE. Why a Cool Burglar Fallod ia HIa Soheme, Mr. Brndley wiM ntnmling not more than a foot from tlio telepliono when It began rlnpnjr. IiiHtiintly ndyliijr tho instrument to IiIh cur, and enllii)r "Hello," ho heard Homo oiiu'a voice faintly niiHwnr buck: "Hullo! In that Mr. Bradley?" ' "Yen," ho replied. "Wlm mo you?" "I It Mr. Henry A. Ilradloy, of Colton 1I1U?" "Yes, sir, tli lit In my nnmo ami resi dence. Who aio youP" "You niiwt not bo fnirprlnod, Mr. Bradley, but I am a burglur In your houn on Colton Hill," "What on the living earth do you moanP" 'Just whnt I any a burglar In your hotisivon Colton Hill, and talking with you horo at tho telephone. You arc iiccOKHarlly excited by this Information, but try to etmiposo yonrsolf," tho (jtieitking voice went on. , "droiit HcuyciihI fowio.e myself! You infiunoiiH scoundrel, wlut aroyou tloinir in my house? ' "Precisely what I have 8ald, Mr. Bradley. I am professional burglar I really hope you will tako this quietly. It will bo to your advantage, you know; 1 will show you that." "I ahull tako It quietly, you poor lnner, by atarting a Hqtmd of polleo up the hill after you in loss thun ten min ute, Sivy Jour pray era for strong leg, lor you will need them more than you ever did before." You run not do It, air. Listen to mn, and I will ahow you tlint I know all about tho sit nation. lit the Hist ylacc, your house is tho only one on this hill, eeept Mt Boyd's, tmntedi ntely across tho street, and he away in the country for tho summer. In the ceond plaee, the nearest Inlmlilted house Is luilf a mile distant, at the foot of tho hill, and the nearest telephone, I'xeept the one In your neighbor Boyd a, U at Winchester, live miles off. Now I know you might ring up the Winchester telephone, but it Is a long way off, and besides, there no spiud of policemen there, I shot not won tier if tho tow n' single guardian were asleep somewhere in a corner. Don't you aeo thut I know all about the place, and Unit you hud better bo per uaded to take It quietly P" 'What lit the deuce do you want, anyhow?" queried Mr. Bradley, Ignor ing the question with which the burg lar had ended. "For one matter, to assure you that I m perfectly well po-tcdiuall jour affairs, which will take but a few words. You are by present occupu rn. Mr. Bradley, treasurer of the Konoutituk Woolen mills" "That'a correct enough." "And the 30th of every month you go out to the mills with ten thousand, dollar In greenbacks done up in a bundle, like groceries, for pay-tluv." "Yen; we pay our employe month ly." "Yon need not be at the trouble of answering; 1 will s riht through with the facts of the case. As I guv, the SOlh of every month von go out to the mills. Well, the Soili came Yester day; but you miswd the l,,,Woll fX. lnvits, which yon usually take, and you had to xitone your trip until LmLiy. (So you look the local train instead, ard you came out to Coittm Hill, bringing the money home withj oti. Then in the evening. heu titling at supper, jou told your wife that vou disliked earrjing tho greonhatkn no much about, and tliat you would leavo thorn In the house until this afternoon, when yon would call for them on the way to the nulla. Have I beon correct? "Possibly, but I must toll you that money Is not there. It will be a great disappointment to you, but I brought it Into the olllce this morning." "Well, well, I will try to bear It But listen to the rest of my title. After supper you appoarod to hide those greenbacks in some place up-stairs, and this morning, for some reason, wher you started for Boston with your wife, you did not hnve the bundle which you brought home with vou yesterday. How am I to understand thut?" "By the uso of j'our reasoning fac ulty. There are many way of carry ing money." "My reasoning faculty is Just what troubles me; the more I reason, the more I am convinced that tho money Is her in this house. Of course, you will never ltd 11 1 it it without some induce ment, and I therefore have a plan to propose for tho adjustment of this whole matter on a basis of mutual benefit, I moan. I will now state it My name is Smith, by-tlio-wuy." "Very well, Mr. Smith. I can not say that I nm glad to inako your ac quaintance I must say that our pres ent relations seem very unconven tional." "Unconventional, Mr. Bradlev, ves, but not without its con vtnionees. Just see. Though a burglar in this house, I am able, by means of the latest refine ment of civilized invention, to con verse with the very owner himself, who knows all its nooks und corners. And you also, the owner, are present ut an occurrence of great Importance to yourself, Instead of remaining igno rant until all is over, as usually hap pens. 'Oh, well, If j'ou talk In that way. Pray how and when did you enter i:iy house, Mr. Smith, and how am I to know thut you are, In fact, talking with mo from thero, and not from some some other point on the line P'' "I entered at the rear kitchen window as soon as I saw you und Mrs. Bradley start down tho hill. You can cusily mako sure of my presence hero by asking 1110 somo question about t.10 room. ' j "Very well. There Is a small picture over tho telephone. Can you describe it?" "I cnn. It is an otchlng three mice in a trap. It's by Rajon." "You are undoubtedly on tho prem ses. Yes, thero's no question but that you nro in my west sitting-room on Cotton Hill. And being sure of the im possibility of interruption, since tho nearest telegraph station is five miles distant, you hnvo a ' feeling that you can take matters comfortably. Do 1 succeed in grasping your view of the of the situation?" "Admirably; perfoctlj'." "You say also that you are In com munication, by means of tho latost re finement of civilization, as you express it with tho owner of tho house, and that I, the owner, am as good as pres. mit at an affair of great importance to myself though I don't seo yet where the benefit to myself comes in. But you have some plan to propose about that" "Just so; it delights mo to hear you take the matter so sensibly. The truth Is, the nrrungement that I huvo in view will bo quite as much for your ad vantage as for mine; the money that is here-" "No, no; you nro mistaken." "Oh, of course you must protest, Mr, Bradlev, but I know that it is hero, and-" "Allow mo we can not both talk at once, and I - pay tho rout for this tele- plume. It is true, indeed, that I did not bring In a bundle this morning, but I curried In tho greenbacks quite the snme. in 0110 of my boot-legs, and they are in the safo now; so that if tho plan you have to reveal relates to them, I feel quite sure that it will bo disai- pointed," "We shall seo wo shall see. Did" I understand you to say that you parried the greenback to the city in one of your tioot-legs? ' "Yes, sir, in one of my boot-legs the loft one." "I don't want to bo inquisitive, but what sized boots do you wear?" "Tens." "Tens. I suppose you have three or four pairs of tens?" "I suppose I huvo." "Now, Mr. Bradley, before entering on this conversation with you, I spent some time in making a thorough search of your house, and as I was on the lookout for hiding-places. I ran my hands Into several pairs of shHs, but, curiously enough, 1 did not find a sin gle pair ot boots." "Ah! I see the inference. But I can not thut them myself half the time. You are a married man, ami can un derstand that." "Wlut I understand Is that you avoid the point at Usuc. The time is pass ing, and here we are, no nearer a so: tlement H id you not In'tter acknowl edge the IsxHs; to save time?" "Never, sir. I hll you I brought thorn In my txMt-lftj." "Well, well, we must compromise this, and got on faster; it is half-past ten already. Suppose we say that by the necos-.ii ies of the case I am con vinced tlu money is here in the house, and that you by the ncccs.ltics of the case are compeled to believe that it is in the oily. But, to save valuable Vino, vou agree to waive the point in li-puto on my assurance that if you will listen further you m ty see rvason to modify your belief, and I agree not U k you any more questions about your booU, or to draw Inferences from the answers you have already given about lliem. Do-jou uccept that? ."I accept it, though I must say" "For the love fit brevity, mako nc more exceptions; time is flitting toe fitst. Can you not allow me to say what I have to say, and you remain quiet and then you say what you have to say, and I remain quiet?" "Very easily. It was you that Inter rupted me, you remember. But let that pass; I am listening with a hun dred ears." "Oh, very well, thpn. Here we ard But I had better begin at thf first Your house, as I have intimated ha been pretty thoroughly searched I entered it Mr. Bradley, .soon aftel vou left it and have been at work evot since; and I was not afraid a. Mrs. Bradley's returning, bo cause the ' habits of your family hnve been a subject of quite clost study to me for some months, and 1 knew that when Mrs. Bradley went in town sho always spent tho day there. I knew also that tho children were away In tho country, and that your wife was herself keeping house during their ab sence. You perceive thut I am post ed " "Very much so." "Yes. It is a good part of a year since I begun watching your monthly trips to the factory. Some slip win sure to come, for that was human nat ure At last human nature repaid my trust and I caught you napping." "How guilty j'ou make mo fed! I supposo that j'ou deem yourself an in strument nppointod by tho angelic powers to find out wicked cashiers?" Not as bad as that; I will cull my self simply a burglar, and leave the nngelio powers to tho modern business man. Well, as I wus saying, I search ed your house pretty thoroughly. I could find no money, and was about to renounce my task, when, my eye rest ing on this telephone, the con ception of consulting you about tho matter flushed through my mind. It seemed a ventursome ex periment but I rung up the central office, got connected with you, and here wo nro talking tho matter over quietly. I shall soon be through now. Will you continue listening?" "I nm all attention. "Good. I knew you were a man of quick wits, and that probably j-ou would refuse to admit that the money Is here, so I made a few preparatory arrangements before culling you at tho telephone. In fact, I foresaw I ihould have to compel you in some. way to reveal the hiding-place of that inoiiej', and this, Mr, Brudlej-, is the disagreeable part of my task. I never burned a house down before, but my mind is made up to burn yours down now unless you reveal to mo right away where thut money is hidden. Yes, sir. I have just brought up aeveral nrmfuls of kindling-wood from tlMjCollnr, and havo piled it in the hallway and wet it with a can of kero sene, so that it can all lie touched off In a minute. Now, without multiply ing words" "Without multiplying words, Smith, I defy you. Light thu house, if you want to. You havo got hold of tho wrong man. this time yes, indeed." "Fiddle-sticks! How you jump at conclusions! Can't you lot mi finish before you explodo? Perhaps I'm not as droadfull as you think." "Finish! yos, if you ever will. Are you aware that you havo been half an hour coming to the point?" "A half-hour of interruptions." "Well, well; henceforth I am silent Let us by all means get through with this business. You havo thoroughly searched my hnu, and vou have piled up several, nrmfuls of kindling-wood In the hull! with kerosene on it, ready to touch oil in a minute; and here we are, as you say, quietly talking the tna'.tor over. What come next?" "What comes next Is an alternative. The burning of your house, Mr. Brad lej seems quite noodles, as well us disadvantageous to us both. Here is ilutcaso: On the 0110 hand, if you re fuse to give up the money, and compel me to burn the house, you'll lose both tho house and the money. On the other hand, if you sensibly tell me where the greenbacks are hidden, you will lose tho money, it is true, but you will save tho house. In either case, the money is lost; you Cfirt not save your employers' funds whatever you do, and you have simply to put that question aside. Well, put it aside. It now only remains for you to decide whether you will save "your house ot iose it, and I off.T you that alternative. Ioe it appear a very dilHcultone to de cide upon?" "Smith, vou were made for a logician, not a burglar. Your statement of the case quite resemble a lawyer's brief, and before we go any further I should like to ask you, if I may, whether your occupation ha always been what it is at pros nt for you do not talk liko an -an-" "An outlaw?" "Yos, that's it in plain 'language. What is it that ha brought you to the pass of piling u;t kindr.ng-wood in other people's houses, and threatening them with conrta rration after a thirty minutes' statement of alternatives?" "A sense of humor. Did the a' surdity of the world and its conven tion never strike you?' 1 was born with an unusual dose of that." "But thero is imprisonment for life, and such linle matters." "That strikes mo a humorous too. Think of tho conceit of locking a per son up for life! Of course It is a justi fiable hardship, but just think of the vastness of conceit implied in cm man's walking up to anoth-r and clap ping him into prison f,.r alt hi boru J iy. Merely as vasuiess of conceit it Isrory humorous. This Is a'rldioulons hubblo of a world." "It is a ridieulotiR bubble of a world; only I fear you nnder-estimutc the dis advantages of laughing on the wrong sldo." "I seem to be safe at present Are you not going to answer my alterna tive?" "Yes, tho alternative; I was forget ting it The trouble with thut alterna tive, Smith, is thut my mind sees an other. As you say, tho burning of the house seems entirely needless and disadvantageous to us both, but I should put it on differ ent grounds. You assume that the money Is out there, but I assume thut it is in here. Here, then, is my case. On the one hand, if you insist on burn ing the hoiiso, j'ou do not get tho money, and you make yourself guilty of the crime of arson; on the other hand, if you sensibly go away with empty pockets, you leave the house for me, and aro a guiltless man. In neither case can you have tho money, for it Is in here, and you have simply to put thut question aside. Let 119 sup pose you hnvo put it aside. It now but remains for you to decido whether you will voluntarily make yourself liable for arson. Whnt could bo simpler?" "Your argument is all, sophistry hollow sophistry." "So bud as thut?" "Yes; nnd I will tell you tho little fact that will prove it. It is that I a:n becoming an impatient man, nnd hnvo. in fact just taken a bunch of matches out of my pocket."- "Then you really intend to do it?" "Tho mutches, I tell you, are in m hand." "Don't tako the fatnl stop quite yet; there is a question I want to usk you. You rciaeniber my inquiring for some evidence that you really were in my house? Now how do you know that 1 am in my olllce?" "I do not care whether you are or not." "That seem to ino a rather careless opinion. Hero we aro, Smith, talking over this burglary, and while I know exactly where you are, you have not fae remotest idea where I am. Now. suppose I am in Boyd's house across the street from you; there is a tel ephone there." "Yes, and suppose you are not." "But I am. Here, in fact, wo are. talking with each other at a distance of fifty yards, instead of many miles, as j'ou have supposed." "It Is a likely story!" "Oh, of course you are incredulous; but listen, and I will explain it to you. Understand, in tho first place, that I do not carry largo package of money about with me without keeping my eye open. I have known for several weeks that I wus being followed by some one, and my employ ers havo therefore set a watch, so that while j ou were waiting for me to trip, we were waiting for you to do tho same. Yesterday evening the fatal hour came; you w ere discovered look ing through my window, and then we knew whnt to expect to-day. Accord ingly we arranged during tho night that I should watch to-day in Boyd's house, with two policemen. It was to have been a busy day in tho city, nnd I could ill spare myself from tho olllce. but I told the telephone clerk to send all calls for me out here to Boyd's, and to this precaution I owe our conversa tion, which certainly has been a very extraordinary one. Unfortunately, I can not offer you an alternative, Mr. Smith; I must come over with an offi cer right away, and curry you off to tho city. But you believe I am here now, do you not?" "I believe it is all a weak fable." "Will j'ou louk across tho s rj.it?" At this point Smith opnnnd tin blind beside the telephone at which he had been talking, and was not a little as tonished to sjo Bradley leave tho op posite hotse and cross tho street in tin company of a very competent-looking policent'tn. In a few moment they were at hi side, ami Bradley was say ing, after a look at ttw burglar's un dismayed countenance: "You now have an op-wnnunitv. S nith, for even more direct communication with tho owner of this house than you have en joyed heretofore. II.tj I am. as you see, ami here is the policeman." "Yes, we are all very miic!t present. It resembles a sceao in tin panto mime." "Ah! if it only were pantomime! So airy mid ingenious a spirit a yours But I will not waste word. Will you toll me where that pilo of kindling wood is? I think I should like to got it off the carpet" "That? Oh, that was an invention of mine." 1 "And so you did not intend to burn tho house after all?" "Perhaps not At all events, I shall not do it now." "I am inclined to wish for your sake, that the whole affair were an invention. You have made a bad bargain wuh Destiny, I fear, this time." "Never mind about me; I am lost in admiration of your cleverness. Come on; I'm ready. Well, well, it' a ridiculou bubble of a world." Xcnos Clitrk, in lltirjtcr"$ Weckiy. Tree label and labeling should receive attention in the winter's leis ure. The label that are on tho tree when purchased must not bo trusted, but something more durable be pro vided. For ordin ary purposes a heavy pine lab A, well painted and written upon with oft lead before dry. is ex cellent; while one made of zinc ami similarly written upon is still bettor. In either case fasten to the trees by nse of No. 16 copper or bras wire, makin" loop so large that year of growth will not fill them out liwterw BaraL WHO K50W ITS VALUK 1 ffPL-t- I. - .. I m noAutlnn In fA7tltvt trt Itlt. thinK. d K "Compound OiyKen" it rimy liftve uio wuijjiciot nui v vi mi aw7 v w OT sill T BIM" -M Mr Falun, loa Arch Street Philadelphia, Pa-, who have names (to whom they may ...i.L ...11 ........ , k I. ..u.riv rnrf State and Territory of the United State. Judge iielley, tatneroi uieumiea sutien House of UepreHeuUilven," head the list of willing witnesses. Every profession and occupation is represented. Send for the llteratuie on the subject, which will come to you free. I I, o fAmriAiinil "Wen-van ITrtfTtB Treatment will be tilled by H.A.Mattliews, ItlK I ) 1 1 C I ...... Can 1 ........ .' The longest span of wire in the world is used for a telegraph in India, over the river Klshnk. It is more than t)0eu feet in length, and is 12.0U0 feet high. A BUOGEBTlOJt TO.ThE lEiVEURO rUBUC. t Tourists, emigrants and mariners find that Hotitetter'a Btomuch Hitters is a medicinal aatettuard AKainift unhealtliful influences, up on winch Uiey van implicitly rely, since it pre vents the eltecta of vitiated atmosphere, nnac cuHtomed or unwholesome diet, l'U'l water, or other conditions unfavorable to health. On Ionic voyages, or Journeys in latitudes adjacent to the equator, it is especially useful as a preven tive of the febrile complaints and disorders of the stomach, liver and bowels, which are apt to atUick natives of the temperate zone so journing or travelliiK in such regions, and It is an exceueni protection ukriubi uie innuenee 01 extreme cold, sudden channel) of temperature, exposure to dump or extreme fatigue, it not only prevents intermittent and remittent fever, and other disctutes of a maluriul type, but eradicale8 them, a fact w hich has been notor ious for years past in North and South Amer ica, Mexico, the West Indies, Australia and other countries. Try walking with "your hands behind you If you are becoming hent forward. Don't hawk, hawk, and blow, blow, dis gusting everybody, but use Dr. bage's Catarrh Remedy. Try a cloth wruna; from cold water, nut about the neck, for sore throat. WHAT A fObTAGE 81 AMP WILL SO. Now read this carefully, and note every word, for it may lay the foundation for your future happiness and health. Any man or woman, young or old, that, suffers with any disease, no. matter what it is called, or of how long vtuuding, or who baa doctored you, if you will sit down and write me a full history of the case, and all the symptoms, I will write you my opinion of the case, the probabilities ot a cure and cost. I am prepared 10 treat everything requiring surgical appliances as well as medicinally; am a graduate; 30 years prac tice. Men and women both can write to me in strictent confidence. Persons com ing to the city are requested to call on me. Enclose a stamp and address . W. b. FOHDEN, M. D. Offlce-8 and 9, First National Bank, Portland, Oregon. UVIKO OR THE BEtUTATION OF OTHEES. "Take everything that I have but my good name; leave me that and I am con tent." So said the philosopher. So say all manufacturers ot genuiue articles to that horde of imitators which thrives upon the reputation of others. The good nam of Allcock.s Porous Plasters has induced many adventurers to put in the market imitations that are not only lack ing in the best elements of the genuine article, but are often harmful iu their effects. This is not only theft, but might well be called malpractice. Such a thins ought not to be. The public should be warned against those frauds, and, when an external remedy is needed, be aure to fm-lHt upon having Allcock's Pokous Plaster. C'ouKtis. "Urmcn's Bronchial Troches" are a sure remedy for Coughs and Sore Throat, iifi cts. a box. A strong cup of coffee will remove the odor of onions from the b eatb. JOHNNTS COMPOSITION ON MEDICINE. "There Is two kinds of inediciut besides the kind you Hub On and the first kind is the Soft kind which you take with a spoon while A man holds your Head and you kick and Itiggle some because it Tates so an t the other kind is the Hard kind which is called Pills and it is the Hardest of the whole because it is ho Hard to ko Down but it does not make any Difference which kind you Take when you get it took you wish you Had not for it makes quite a ttow in your Stomach and Hois Around." Evidently Johnny's experience in medi cine does not Include Dr. Pierce's "Pleas ant Purgative Pelle's," which are easy to take and do their work quietly and calmly. Neither decs it include in the way of ' oft Medicine Dr. Fi rce b "Uolden Mediual DUcovurv." w hich though uower- fui to cure ail chronic dertioemeutc of the liver and blood, is .pleaxsiit to the taste and agreeable in its effects. Un- equaled a a remedy for all scrofulous diseases, pimp en, blotches, eruptions, ulcers, swelled glands, goitre or thick neck, lever-sores and hip-joint disease. A rup of hot water drunk before meals will prevent nausea and dyspepsia. Other HjrcneleN of Eastern type founders have to pay freigts and will ad vance their prices. Relief is Immediate and a cure sure. Piso's Kemedy for Catarrh. 50 cent. Cuticura a Positive Cure for ?Vry form, of bKn and blood -Disas- 5- from TZ. - PlriPLES to Scrofula. OKIN' TORTURES OF A LIFETIME IX U stantly relieved by a warm bath with Cuti ClTKS soap, a real Skin UeauUtler, and a sintiie annlicaUon of C'lticcka. the invat Skin Cum Thi repeated daily, with two or three doses of Cvtici'ka RKtioi.VKNT.the New Blood Purifier, to keep Die blood cool, the perspiration pare and unarritaUng, the bowels open, the liver aud ainneys active, wui speedily cure. KcKema. tetter, rtnuwoim. psoriasis, lichen. pruhrus.scall head, dandruff, and every species of torturing. dixtlKurinir. itrhlng.gcaly and pim ply diseases ot the skin and sraln, with loos of hair, when physicians and all known remedies 1a.11. SoldeTervwhere. Price. CtTiruRA.Sflc.: 8np. 43c; Kcnolvknt. $L Prepared hy the Potter lim a AXD t HKMICAL CO., BOSTON, MASS JtrSend for "How to Cure Skin fiiwji." uTUrLKS, blackheads, chapped and oil) km 1 ii't preremen ny imiTKAJl Medicated Soap. HALL'S SARSAPARILLA Curei all Diseases originating from a disordered state of the BLOOD or LIVER. Rheumatism, Eeuralgia, Boils, Blotches, Pimples, Scrofula. Tumors, Salt Rheum and Memirinl Pains readily yield to its purifying properuea 11 leaves the Blood pure, the Liver and Kidneys healthy and the Complexion bright and clear. , J. R. GATES A. CO., Proprietors 417 Saaaome St-, San Prancisoow We wlU pay yaur fare from I United Bute, to krUaadand ZE J evidence from weU-kiiowaTlSiSS?! lawyers, merchanu and farmers st li.hfiifVin ,h. , r " a u,? hernia, without knifa. needle Toi .h.'a menu You are secure against W, ill ruinniet """ " me cur, ireriiiaiimu ur money refunded. rV work every day, no matter whatn.1" H Uon, without. uaiiKcr or Inconvenient "V sulutlonsfree. Oltloe hours from in, Correspondent will enclose luZr'i . Kinit National bank, Portland" AS'i. Mention this paper. When Baby was sick we gave her Ca.w " " " vuuu, cue onea for rv . I u-i . wj . . nct. j uw iui inuun juiob, lag Clung to Cat, I When shehad Children, she gave themCwl Try taklnir cod -liver oil in catsup 11 you want to make It DaJatAKi. "Golden Medical Discovery" win cure a Denton whose lunra wasted, but it is an unfailing remedti consumption if taken in time. All 1 gists. ""8 Well ventilated bedrooms will ptB morning headaches and lassitude. Go to Towne & Moore when lnPortlivl for best Photoerraphio and Crayon wqI Try Germea for breakfast. AbsoluMti Free from Opiates, Emetic and IUm SAFE. sure:. PROMPT. AT ItftCtWtllT AND bKALKM. Till CHAHLK8 A. VO.KI,X!l CO, H A LTI MORI, . mm 1 For Pain Cures Rheumatism, Neurit Si-ratm, Srnl, Plil, K. FIFTY CE1T. AT IlKCUniHO! ANT IIK1I.UIS THBCtuaisa A.vousLia to ultisohk.su. tO Tsars LYDIA E. Jleeord. PINKHAtVrS VEGETABLE COMPOUND, IsarosithtCit fFof ALL of thoM PiinM f JT r.nmnlinat 4,... Ma im! Weaknesses so common among out Wives, Mothss, I snd Laughters. It trill ears ntfm all ovarian orvagiiul troutlu, iita n n ton and Lloer lion, FMtno tU oonefqurni spfaj euicHeae,flidtt ealarlr The Woman's 9ur, Frlnrtn.-'" flliM, it wuz-NuTrmroan iuboioaii orijunon os CCKK CAKCIR, BUT IT WIH tftOHm ALL CmCCMStAKCES, ACT IU nAftMOKT WITH TOK LAWS OF 1, ATCM. tTHAT 1TOJSS OrBEAHIKO DOW. CACSUTO FAIH, W TIGHT AJU F-"" IS ALWAYS ItBJIAmWTLT CCHKD BT ITS US, sR&oId by Drairirists. Price $1. per battle Mrs. I'lnkhsra's Liter Tills cure constlpatloa. The BUYERS' GUIDE Is taswd Sept. and March, i each jrestr. nXT. 3t pskgta, SKiliy. Incbes,wltn orcr 3, BOO Uloatrmtlona a whole Picture Gallery. GIVES Wholesale Price rfirrel to tonnumtrt on all goods tot personal or family nse. Tells how to order, and (lyes exact eost of every thing yon use, eat, drink, wear, or have fan with. These INVALUABLE BOOKS rontsUn Information gleMird from the marietta of the world. XV will mall a copy FREE to any ad dress upon receipt of 10 cts. to defray expense of maillnfr. lt us heal front yon. Respectfully, MONTGOMERY WARD & CO. tic B2fl WsdMsab Avenue. Chlesvaa, Ilk HATCH CHICKENS, WITH TUB (SpPETALUMA INCUBATOR SMI' "S3 SueeeMfal Machine Made SOold Mll, 1 SilrerMudAl, and IS Fint Premlnma HATCHES All KINDS OF EOS . Prion, S20.10. (f Send f oi Urm lTlmrtrattd Olreolar and set bo yon may got an lacnbalor 1KEE. Address, PETALUMA INCVBAXORCO.,Fetalnms, Cal. m-- 1 - Ooe Agent (MeiThAnt enlT wnntt in nvnrr town for Althourh I iu paying m pr 1(110 for my liwlins 5o brand, mjr tnies are more then twriity-flve times as Unto nnce ! put in four "Tansilis Punch 6o cigar. I could nut ban believed It Yours rrsprctfullj, 'M. M . r I K Dm-Hst, Chicago. Aldress, K.1V.TAX8I1.L CO.. Chirac. l'almer V Key manufacture their own good, and can sell 25 per ceut. lower than any oher house. The only Mot'k of type, presses and printing material will be found at Palmer & Key's Portland house. I'ay no I'reislilH. y Palmer & Key manufacture their own tv i, and baviag no freights to par they will not advance no ireignta I their price. Piso's Rwiipdy for Catarrh is tlie Best, Kaeiest to Cse, and Ciieapeat. Sold bjr dms-dats or sent by mtuL sue, i. MaiolUne, W arren, L'a. C. h stVrn h l-i ISJ ficuies 4 lliAt K.rf M refff., and his K,Tr aimt Moivcml siti,itf jtMM 1 . rru, m KisSttas Cliw" me (trui uasieal X dm itt tut Claeinnazl 9L' "lM aam.il the o li- m. Ohio. TRAD t yio MARK. 25 SOI 1 7 tart LA Bmllt.Ps. t'4V Tarrnts rK ti.ee. MISCI id (r the coW IICIS rsture of www -t inter L; following this el t reset s u jiree. sir- -A rn5, atrs m .iidwt1 Jue tim. ' the tmi 'plain it, -At By bcrtAnitw ; a cbinnie 1 leaned ' :,Vs broke ttglit the mient, ' n behiw. t, 't,n ! the troui :p arrive! EHwne .mlcnt of ,J in Am .ny thi"S .n'chman, ihthe eitl nT est al .ven-utii noli, tea, ;iln,"al t" -Twov ! Pelhiim, ovation r eyes. i-nlict of I (iipiiu mi 1 112.000. U fitly tl ii-taiiH'o isa Mull i.tt any r HfilO Q -Svs( iiniDgis ; cumin pwfes ii'uiiatio tho did rut allu Jiuli-stali ruek It .wanti fie nev ietock i meal -Spct vemc' I'he da il mil Inch w i-on hi rienee ted m envy us mn Ly, ai ccina -Nei nd orj f.e niei It. Pi kljacei ar c "ierce iirneti ihaseil lie fie hile, i the i.id ki A 1 li'iia, i it ,1