Image provided by: Clackamas Community College; Oregon City, OR
About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 26, 2005)
4 Halloween Faculty Poll: Halloween Clackamas Pri Wednesday. Oct. 26, 2005 Local Halloween haunts is rumored to be scarier than Located in the Jantzen Beach! Center, this attraction offersi thing for all ages and scream ances. The web site, wwwsce thebeach.com, has a scary; that allows parents to chooser house will be appropriate for child’s temperament. In addition to the haunted es, there are three five shows card reading, a gift shop, snac and games. The exhibit J What treats do []ou give out on Halloween? “Small arms. Occasionally small legs.” Kimberly Maier Clackamas Print The haunted house at Oaks Park, Scream Land, is ready to make you scream with colorful and scary monsters. Chris Whitten Kimberly Maier “I don’t give any candy, and the rea son why is because the kids stopped coming.” The Clackamas Print David Smith-English Local residents looking' for a good scare this Halloween have their pick when it comes to attrac tions featuring scary ghouls and ghastly goblins. z For ultimate thrill-seekers look ing for a heart-pounding exhibit full of blood, torture and screams at every turn, Scream Land at Oaks Park is the way to go. Leave the kiddies at home for this one, folks. Tickets for the “Thrillogy,” which features three terrifying haunted houses, can be purchased for $18. Disturbing figures are hidden in every nook and cranny of the house, and the actors take die gig very seri ously. Every detail of this haunted house is intended to scare the pants off anyone who dares to enter. The sets at Scream Land are very realistic. The exhibits featur ing autopsy tables actually smell like formaldehyde, another turn of the comer fills the nostrils with the aroma of gasoline or a rotten swamp. Scream at the beach is having its fifth anniversary this year and ues through Oct. 31 and ticks available online. $20 gets yd most of the attractions and discounts are available. Willamette Falls Tela Station on Main Street in Q City is hosting a not-so-hJ house on the night of Hallo starting at 4:30 p.m and lasting 7:30 p.m The theme is the 1 Wild Wesf ’ and the whole ev will be filmed on five televisior “It’s have what I like to call the factor’ without all the bloor guts,” commented Studio Ma Melody Ashford. “Kids reali) it because they get to be oi TV.” Costing the theme houses ever since 1998. There is candyh out after the exhibit, and “i free, a very good price.” 15th century dummy's guide to witch huntin “Tombstone” Tombe I Ço-Editor-in-Chief Jan Bishop Whether you call it the “Malleus Maleficarum” or “I don’t have trick- or-treaters because I live on a flag lot.” “Der Hexenhammer” (to-MAY- to, to-MAH-to), “The Witches’ Hammer” is a hell of a read. The “Malleus Maleficarum” Katie Hovanic Nora Brodnicki Sharman Graham was the definitive guidebook used by the church to hunt witches in the 15th century. The small-mindedness of peo ple never ceases to amaze me, especially when these same small minds carry so much imagination. The guide is divided into three parts. The first part deals mainly with the philosophy and theology behind witches and witchcraft — “proving” them to be real, and outlining various powers of witches. It’s kind of funny that early in the book, the foremost con cern is the sexual power of tvitches (the Inquisition did a terrible job of suppressing its fear of powerful women). There’s even a section dedi cated to “Whether Witches may work some Prestidigitory Illusion so that the Male Organ* “Chocolate. Tootsie Rolls are choco late.” Terry Mackie appears to be entirely removed and separate from the Body.” That’s one mean party trick. My favorite quote from that section: “There is no doubt that certain witches can do marvel ous things with regard to male organs.” Yeah, baby. Work that magic. The second part explains how witches’ powers work and how-to defend against them. Unfortunately, many of the “remedies” are just the usual stuff. For instance, let’s take a look in the section titled, “Remedies prescribed' for those who by Prestidigitatory Art have lost their Virile Mem bers or have seemingly been Transformed into the Shapes of Beasts” (useful in the odd chance you get turned into a newt). The best advice they can give is “a good confession,” with the caveat “that they should as far as possible come to an amicable agreement with the witch herself.” So remem ber, guys, if Mr. Happy & Co. go missing, the witch has you by the cojones, both figura tively and literally. At least there’s good news. If you do get turned into a flewt} there’s a fair chance you’ll get better. The third part is a legal guide; it outlines how to proceed with the trial, sentencing, legal rights of the accused, etc. Pretty dry stuff, for the most part. In a typically patriarchal manner, the witch had to be stripped of all clothing and ev ery hair on her body shaved, “for in order to preserve their power of silence they are in the habit of hiding some super stitious object in their clothes or in their hair, or even in the most secret parts of their bod ies which must not be named.” (Sigh.) They were so afraid of it, they couldn’t even say its name. Freud would have a field day with this. Overall, the “Malleus Ma leficarum” is an interesting read (although in my opin ion, the “Compendium Ma leficarum” is a bit easier to handle). There’s a lot of “case studies” and other stories nes tled away within the various sections. Oh, and ladies, if you want to get really pissed off, read the section titled “Con cerning Witches who copulate with Devils. Why is it that they should come more der the spell of witchci .(2) “Women are i lectually like child (3) “All witchcraft o from carnal lust, v is in women insatia Oh, and the three vic wicked women that make susceptible to the lure o dark side: infidelity, ambi Women are chiefly addicted to Evil Superstitions?” and lust (with emphasis o latter). Hmm. Methinks Some of the highlights in clude: (1) "... since they are fee bler both in mind and body, doth protest too much. So, with those criteri mind, how many of you li it is not surprising that out there qualify? (Let’s i show of hands.)
