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About The Clackamas print. (Oregon City, Oregon) 1989-2019 | View Entire Issue (Oct. 26, 2005)
Llackamas Print Commentary 3 Wednesday. Oct. 26, 2005 Ninjas or pirates? The greatest question of our time are loud. They tend to advertise their presence to every one around them. All the ninja has | to do is sneak up behind the pirate, and it’s A game over. Secondly, Lstrations by Jeff Sorensen Clackamas Print ninjas have much better training than pirates when are too it comes to fighting. A fore for ninja will have had years of intense, focused train to handle ing for one-on-one combat; a pirate has maybe had a couple of informal sword fighting lessons. hentary Editor Further compound ing the problem for the have nothing against pirate is that he’s proba bly never seen the ninja’s Mrates are awesome. style of fighting before, so ■ sail cool ships; they he doesn’t know how to Hlfight; they plunder, defend against it. ■ and get drunk; and Now, don’t try to tell ■ always get the girl. me that the pirate has an Elet's be honest here. If advantage because he has a ■have a fight between a gun. Do you have any idea Hand a ninja, the ninja how difficult it is to fire a Hg to win. flintlock pistol accurately? H's look at this logi- Health is also working H to begin with, ninjas against the pirate. Pirates ■ sr iky by definition. don’t exactly get the best H can’t actually turn food in tibte world. If he’s Hble, but they are quite on a particularly poor ship, H at not being seen. he probably has scurvy. He H, on the other hand, may have old battle wounds J____ k p ira Cameron that slow him down. Even if he’s never been in a battle before, working a sailing ship is dangerous. You catch your hand in a pulley or get hit by a falling spar in a storm, well then you have problems. On the other hand, the ninja doesn’t spend most of his time at sea, he’s bet ter fed and still has all his limbs. A ninja in the prime of health makes a pirate look like a particularly uncoordinated cow. For the sake of argu ment, let’s say the pirate manages to disarm the ninja. This would be a rather bad move on the pirate’s part, because ninjas know a lot more about hand-to-hand fighting; a pirate probably barely knows how to throw an affective punch. Now, instead of a single weapon the pirate has to keep track of four weapons: the ninja’s hands and feet. This does not bode well for the pirate. If you set an armed pirate against a ninja, file pirate will fail. If you set an unarmed pirate against a ninja, the pirate will fail that much worse. After all, in Navy SEAL training they teach you ninjitsu; they don’t teach you pirate-fu. Pirates are more . firn than stuffy old ninjas Matt Olson The Clackamas Print Flying a jolly roger, marauding the seas for booty, shouting and singing dirty limericks and drinking your fill. It may be swill, but it’ll sure get you drunk If that sounds firn, “it’s a pirate’s life for you!” Some stuffy and uptight people naysay the pirate life style in favor of something a little more cut and dry. Why limit freedom and be stuck on dry land when you could be out there sailing in the salty wind, hunting for the gold of defenseless traders? Ninjas were the assas sins of feudal Japanese cul ture. They were stealthy, deadly, clad in black and stalked their prey for glory and power. It may sound ok, but wait until the 12 hour days of training, the rigorous and fruitless years of painfill conditioning, and being called “young grass hopper;” then where is the glory of the ninja? The differ- ence between 1 ninjas and 1 pirates is what A/ you want in life. Ask yourself if you are an A or B type per sonality. If you 4 Ik like to spend all your time working hard to make ends meet, ball versus a b foot long a ninja’s humble lifestyle piece of iron, who do you might be appealing. think will win? Anyone On the other hand, exam have weapon envy? ine the life of a pirate. They Admittedly, any good are intimidating, swash ninja won’t expose him buckling, and they always self enough to get hit with get the booty. And don’t a deadly cannonball, but forget, chicks dig pirates. I’d like to see the god Just look at Johnny Depp in like ninja who can sneak “Pirates of the Caribbean.” across waves. Out on the Depp’s scraggly goa sea the pirate is king; he’s tee and mustache, drunken the lord of his domain swagger, and slurred speech and is as stealthy as the are all unattractive traits in shadow of a shark. No the average person. Make “landlubber” could sneak that person a pirate and ' up on a pirate out in open instantly they’re a sex sym water. bol and worthy of women’s Violence doesn’t solve adoration. anything, but the threat Women, drinks, riches of violence can get you and freedom aren’t the only everything. A ninja may part of a pirate’s life. They be able to kill well enough, are fierce fighters armed but a pirate lives well. with the latest weapons and After all, how great are ships. They may have to ninjas when Mr. Miyagi steal all this, but when you can teach a 13-year-old have a 35-pound cannon boy to kick their asses? hiking: the daily bane of every student's existence lurtney O’Byrne Klackamas Print It’s 10 a.m. and your first class [in 15 minutes. You pull into ■favorite parking lot - the one [short distance from all your [s, with the wide spaces - in ■words, the parking ■your dreams, [de spaces that are Wait - not that [That one looks ■ But alas, as you ■ your turn, you Be horrendous teal- |ed Geo Metro that lies only the front ■the spot. Bastards!” you Bn, cursing all [ommuter cars that ■the ability to pull ■ forward, if only le demonic purpose [ceiving the eyes [vers in cars larger fcrigerators. Iman, and the big [. Yet another spot I be available to ■ not for the hulk- [uteofadieselcen- | directly over the [ng line. Do they ■need two spots, or | their hogging be From there, I hike to my class, which I am either late to, or close to late to. I am soaking wet and my shoes are making the most annoying squeaking noise possi ble, which discourages my teach er from ignoring the fact that I came in late. Unfortunately, “I had to park really far away” is not an acceptable excuse for being tardy, though mut tering, “parking sucks!” will reward you with many nods and groans of agreement from your classmates. And that, my friends, is because parking at Clackamas does, in fact, suck. There are so many sug gestions to fix the undeni able parking problem, but none really sound prom ising. Maybe the college could create a new parking lot somewhere else and provide shuttles every 10 minutes. Students should try to carpool with a buddy, or better yet, ride the bus! While some students do trust the mighty Tri-Met to transport them safe ly to the classrooms of Clackamas, others, like myself, are bus-illiterate Photo illustration by Jeff Sorensen Clackamas Print avoided if they backed up again and straightened out? You cruise the other lots, final ly settling for the third from last spot in the second from last row of a parking lot that is nowhere near any of your classes. Does that sound familiar to anyone? That’s how my day starts off. C o -E ditors - in -C hief : Ben Maras, Clackamas Print James Tombe C opy E ditors : Katie Weinberg, E. E. 5600 S. Molalla Ave. [gon City, OR 97045 |)3) 657-6958 ex. 2309 P*e C lackamas Print is a weekly Istudent publication and is fcibuted every Wednesday except finals week. West N ews E ditor : Katie Wilson C ommentary E ditor : Laura Cameron F eature E ditor : C.J. Ciaramella S ports E ditor : N. P. Delzell A&E E ditor : Jadon Triplett P hoto E ditor : Jeff Sorensen A d M anager : Sam Krause A d A ssistant : Megan Cline S taff W riters ; Frank Jordan, and would get off at a stop in the middle of nowhere and probably end up dead. As for carpooling, sometimes none of your friends start school at the same time you do and there’s absolutely no reason for you to sacrifice another hour of sleep just to catch a ride with someone who starts before you. Criticizing a solution is a lot easier than suggesting one. There are just too many cars for too few spaces. Some days, I wish I was a cripple just so I could get a really good spot. But then again, I would be a cripple, so I’d probably have worse problems than parking. I wish I could say that less people should go to our college, but that would be wrong for so many reasons, including the fact that if not for school, I would be much more than bus-illiterate. Letter to the editor Just a short note to thank the CCC Print for the article about the Music Department in the October 19 issue. I need to make a few corrections. Your reporter incorrectly stated that I feel “ the Music Department gets the proverbial shaft a lot of the time.” Not even close. I told your reporter that over the past decade or so, and in the cur rent environment inthe US and in Oregon, the arts and arts education have been devalued. When there are cuts to be made, so many times the cuts begin with the arts. This has not been the case at CCC, where the arts are held to be equally as important as the other disciplines. The Niemeyer Center is evidence that the college has put their money where their mouth is in terms of support for the arts. Further, I stated that our being allowed such a huge voice in the planning and construction of the Niemeyer Center, and that it came out so well, is a testament to the health of the college. Your reporter seems to have transposed some of my comments around Thanks again for an otherwise accurate article. Tom Wakeling Chair, Music Department P roduction A ssistants : Christina Copeland, Megan Koler, Tayo Stalnaker, Kyle Steele, Jesse Arguello Matthew Olsen, Tayo Stalnaker, Courtney CXByme, Mike Giùdice, Jimi McDonnell, Gabe Stone, Joe Piazzisi, Megan Koler, Kimberly P hotographers ; Andy Zehrung Maier, Elizabeth Hitz, Adam J. D epartment A dvisor : Linda Vogt Manley D epartment A ssistant : Pat Lichen G oals : The C lackamas Print aims to report the news in an honest, unbiased, professional manner. The opinions expressed do not necessarily reflect those of the stu dent body, college administration, its faculty or The Print. E-mail comments to chiefed@dackamas. edu.
