Image provided by: Morrow County Museum; Heppner, OR
About The Ione independent. (Ione, Or.) 1916-19?? | View Entire Issue (April 30, 1926)
4 If You Would Avoid Con. itant Colds, Grippe, Uk Good Tonic. 4? t'H" Salem "Dr. Ticrce'i medicines have been ued in my family and 1 have no lieiitancy in saying tint tliey always fiuve taliniui-tory remits. My litlaiil mil the 'flu' and il appeared at Itiuiiuli he was never gnfotf to get well, lie would coutili all niulit lung, and luffcrtil (rum irvcre licailachrs. lie gut io weak and poorly tli-l lie could not go out of the lioute. He was in a miier able Hale n( health when he decided to take Dr. l'icrre'i Golden Medical Dis covery. He could notice an improve tnent duriiiK the Tint bottle, and by the tune he had taken three he was rid of the coiikIi and paint in hit head, and wai well and ttrong. He hat been strung hralihy man ever since." Mrs. V. J. Allen, IJ97 N. Commercial St. Ask your nearest drtiKKiit for Doctor I'ierce't Discovery, in tahlet or liquid form; or tend 10c for trial pkg. of tab leti to Dr. I'icrcci Clime, ill Uuffalo. N Y. Another Mistake exploded. The huU'Trup la another of those little things, that deceive ut by their nuiiin. It dorlvi'd Ita title from the Iguoraut notion that, when cowt ate huttcrrupa, the butter producing quel Itlra of tli uillk were Improved. The truth of thla hat not beon proved, for I he simple rtaaon that cowt don't eat hullcn-upa. Rock Formation, The term "monadnock" la derived from Mount Monadnock In New Hampshire, and la applied to an Iso luted uiountalnllka remnant of hard riH k rxtondlng above Ita aurroundlnge In the late itatot of period of cycle of erosion. Htone mountain In Geor gia la another loitance of thla class. In Boaton Keep Going. Persons who visit Ilostoo art often perphiiid by Ita mate or streets. A visitor waa romplalnlng to a realdent that he waa constantly getting loat "Never mind," aald the Doatonlan. "Just kep on going airtight ahead and yon will alwaya com out where you went In." exchange. Cheeae Very Much Alive. "An old ttory." aald a well known author recently, "telle ua how a rail way frvlKht agent wrote to a gour luout: 'Ix ar Hlr We have now held your shipment of one Cametnbert rhiMxo for three daya. If tame la not railed for Immediately, it will be shot. - Remarkable Linguist Sir William Rowan Hamilton, the relvbrated Knglish mathematician, who died in 18(15, had an extraordinary faculty for learning languagee, and !a aald at the nga of twelve to have nisstered 13 languages, besides Eng lish. Conclutlve. i "My client la not mentally normal. The fact that he murdered hla wife la partly a proof of that, but the fact that he married again la conclutlve." Dorfbarbler, Iturlln. Two Fir Cauaea. KliH trlc light wires hung over nallt and oily raga thrown Into a corner are two of the. things which give the news puMTi it or lot about "fires of unknown origin." Hating Oneaelf III. lluln, In the courae of time, creates polaon Iu the system as well as In the mind, and all evil emotion Is bad for the health. One of the earlleat-dls-covered trulha was that health and morality depund on each other, and many rellglona are built largely upon hygiene, Grsst Lawyer-President. Van Duron and Benjamin Harrison are connldore(H the greatest lawyers who hove been President of the United Btutee. You Want a Good Position Vary wall Take the Aooountanirf an IliialnxM Management, Private Hort an al, Calculator. Comptometer, Htonoare, pHO, I'enmaiiahlp, or Commercial Teaob ra' Couraa at Behnke-Walker Tha fornnoDt Tlillee Collect of th North wt which hae won more Aoeurwoy atwarila and Onld Medals than any othar chool In Amerlue, Band for eur Sunoeaa retainer. Fnurlh 8trat sear Morrison, Portland, Or. leoao M. Walker, Pres. P. N. U. No. 18, 1020 1 WHEN HE PROPOSED TO PENELOPE By SWIFT ADAMS B ar snort star? Paa, ce.) (( THINK I'll I I I'enelope to i X. to a qulut c THINK I'll got married," said herself, as the sat corner on the ver anda of the HeaaUIe hotel. Penelop was youug and pretty. No level-headed peraon would ever have thought of making an aaaortion that, Dy any possibility, could be coustrued as contradictory to such palpable fucta. And every man at the hotel was heels over head In lov with her. After having reached thla Important matrimonial declalon, ah charged along th pinna, so wrapped In ber cogltatlona that at a sharp turn aba bumped, with considerable violence, into Tom Hutbnway. "Oh I" ah guaped, "I beg your par- aon i k "Tou can't have It," Interrupted Tom. "There's no renaon why I should glv it to yon. It wss delightful." ioui iiatusway, aren't you aanamed " "No at all," said Tom. "Let's play golf." "But It's so hot," protested Ten elope. "Even the csddles are asleep." "Never mind." aald Tom. "Then we'll have th link all to ourselves. Com along." Tom waa on hla knees, making her tee, when It hnptwned. I'enelope stood close to him. Huddeuly he seised her hand. "I'enelope, dearest, fur a long time I hnv wanted to tell you aomethlng. I want to say" (he fervently ktaaed her hand) "that I" "Oh Tom I" screamed Penelope. "Whatever Is ths matterr Tom had Jumped to hla feet and waa wildly grabbing at hla mouth and choking. He had planted a paaalonat klas on a wad of damp sand that. In bis ex citement, he had pressed Into her hand. "Hello, what's upT and Dob Hamil ton, who had heard Penelope ecresm, cam running ont of the clubhouse. "I I guess Tom hss some sand In his mouth." said Penelope. "flood," aald Dob; "It's good for his digestion. But how on earth" He stopped short Neither of his listeners waa In a condition to utter an Intelligible answer. Tom mad a break for the pump, and Penelope waa alttlng on th ground, sobbing with laughter. "What In heaven's nam Is the mat ter with Torar asked Bob, after she had In a measur recovered her com posure. "He Just bad an accident," ah re plied. "Oh, aU right," said Bob. "If you don't want to tell, I dont want to know. Let's take a walk." They promenaded lazily until they cam upon a secluded bench. They sat and chatted, and hla arm crept toward her welet, much to th consternation of an old gardener, who unobserved behind them was sprinkling th Iswn with a hoe. "There Is something I have long wanted to say to yon," began Bob. "Oh, dear P sighed Penelope to her self. "They all begin th earn way." "I want to tall you a aecrot darling." h said, spproschlng nearer to ber lips thsn ber ar. Th poor gardener was so perturbed at Bob's words and artlons thst he nenrooaly dropped th hose. Bob opened his mouth to make tha rest of his declaration, and waa astounded to receive In It an Inch stream of water. Gasping and splut tering, he struggled to his feet. In mad consternation, th gardener clutched th offending bos and dis appeared. I'eoelop gated at Bdb with stunned horror and surprise. "You you are not having a fit, sr you, Bohr sh Baked tremulously. "Some careless d n fool " sput tered Bob. "Beg pardon I" exclaimed Fred Chase, another of th Devoted Circle, suddenly coming Into view, with a pair of oars over his shoulder. "Penelope, I'm ashamed of you. I didn't thluk you would tolerate profanity even from Bob," h tacked on with good natured sarcasm. Bob glared at him, and, without word to either of them, stalked away. "What's the rip with Bobr asked Frod. "He looks out of sorts." "He frets a little tired," sh said drily. "Is It nlc rowing r she added quickly, auxloua to divert his atten tion from poor Bob. "It Is, If you have a parasol and ar prepared to lie quit still," bs laid. "Com on and try It, anyway." As sh sank down on th boat cushions, sh gave a little sigh. "I suppose he couldn't have gone on after that," ah murmured halt aloud. "Eh, what's that?" atked Fred. "I was thinking how handsome you took In that bat," she replied calmly. "Thanks," said Fred. 'Th same to you snd many of them." "Tou don't tslk connectedly, Fred," commented Penelope. "How could I," suddenly burst out Fred, "with you so near me? Pene lope, dear, I want a wife." lie's original, at any rat," thought Penelope. "And you, darling, ever sine that day-" "Look where your going, Fred!" shrieked I'enelope. It wss too Into. The bout crnahed Into a rock Unit Stood half nut of th water. Th boat stopped. Frod didn't ' He kept on going and landed on hli buck several feet th other side ol th rock, "Fred, oh, Fred, ar yon drowned?' cried I'enelope. But It happened thst Fred wss not drowned. He presently renppesred, standing In shout four feet of water Nevertheless Mulurnck Hartford, who from the thore, had witnessed th 1st ter part of the Incident, Jumped Into somebody's bout slid pulled frautlcall) for th scene of disturbance, He Bret made sur that I'enelope wss not hurt, aud then rowed over to Fred, who wai bually wignged In wiping th watei from his face and curslug hlrasell heartily. "Too bad, old man," said Mularack "Jump Into ths boat and I'll tuk yoo to Penelope." "No," said Fred, "I'm too wet Too take her sshore, old chap, and III b everlastingly obliged to you. I'll tok your boat" Malarack wss not st all reluctant to make the chunge, sod soon had Pen slop on terra firm. "Do let us walk under th trees," said Penelope. "So much has hap pened to me today that my nerval ar quit on edits. Malarack assented. As they strolled along, Malarack suddenly turned end said: "Penelope, there Is something I have wsnted to say to you for a long while. I-" "Walt I" cried Penelope, with sud den declalon. 'Hit down on that bench." Malarack Blared at her curiously snd compiled. "Tou won't fall off, will your atked Penelope. "I should hope not said Malarack, looking at her In blank surprise. 'Please put this parasol over your shoulder," directed Penelope. Malarack did so, eyeing ber nervous ly. "Have you any aand In your pock ets T", she suddenly demanded. "Penelope!" he began severely. "There I It's all right now." said Penelope, sinking down beside him. Malarack, sfter all, waa the one she would have chosen, she thought "Tou were going to ssyT she said softly. "Kht Oh, yes." replied Malarack. "I have been wanting to tell you, as an old friend, that you really pow der your nose too hesvlly. Now, I hope good heavens I Penelope, what ails your Penelope bad fainted. Hungry World Call, for Much Fooditafi Even If you are what la called a small eater the amount of food needed to keep you going for a year is con siderable. In that period you will eat 120 pounds of meat and fish, 8T8 pounds of bresdstuffs, Including other grains such as rice and oatmeal, a similar amount of potatoes, vegetables, snd fruit besides some 20 pounds of butter and cheese, mustard, pepper, salt and so on. When you remember that there are some one thousand six hundred mil lion people In the world, the amount of food required to feed them all la colossal. Tet hundred million peo ple produce It all. These plow and cultivate fields, orchards, and gardens, reap or gather their crops, milk ths cows, make the butter and cheese, and catch the flah. The case may be cited of one Amer ican family consisting of a father, his four sons, a nephew, and a soo-ln-law. Tbey run a large farm In South Da kota. In 1U24 these seven men pro duced, by their own labor, 20,0cm) bush sis of wheat besides keeping and feed ing nearly one hundred head of cattle. The record of fiaherman Is even more wonderful than thst of farmers. Europe and the United States between them require more than five million tons of ftah yesrly, while the total number of men employed In the fisher ies of these countries Is under a mil lion. So each nun Is responsible for catching Bve tons of fish yearly. All H4 Evr CalUd Ht In certain parts of rural England It la uncommon for a man to address his wife by her baptismal name. In Il lustration of which Thomas Hardy, the novelist, told the following story: An elderly farmer called In a lawyer and explained that he wished to make his will. The lawyer took out his fountain pen, snd prepared to receive his client's instructions. 'I'll leave all my brass to my wife," the farmer said. "We've been married 80 years." What's your wife's Chrlstlun name?' asked the lawyer, making a note of the bequest The farmer scratched his hesd, thought hard for several seconds, and finally said that he couldn't remember. The lawyer thought of a plan that would spur his memory. "Walk to the door," he sug gested, "and about upstairs as if you were calling her." The farmer did, and shouted, "Missus." Pottibly Correct A non-commtssloncd officer was In structing a squad of recruits In the use of the rlllo. 'Now, Private Murphy," he said, turning to a strapping young man, Supposing 1 was standing a thousand yards away, over by that farm build ing, and a party of Infantry were Bring at me from here, while you were in between us, what would happen to you?" 'Why, sergeant replied the re cruit "th bullets would pass over ay head." 'Quite right; and what would hap pen to meT" asked the serg ant 'I scarcely know," said Murphy, with a grin. "But I expect you would be dodging round the house." Lon don Answers. IN ANY SEASON y DOUGLAS MALLOCH fjrx MOTHER'S mother had a way iA Of aaylng things thst others say, But ssylng tbsin a whole lot better. I never ssw ber write a letter, I never heard her make a speech, I never heard ber really preach, And yet sh said, well I remember: "Th Bowers are never out of reach, I've found thein even Iu December." She looked for flowers sll the year. And always found th flowers here When others thought the summer over. It's easy In the time of clover To And the blossoms by the wall ; Hut, when the leaves began to full. Perhaps with drifting snow around tbem, 8be looked for flowers, sfter all, And mother's mother always found them. She found them even in ber grief. Vet, ahe would lift some fallen leaf, And find some bud forever starting. Some comfort In the hour of parting. la every trouble sh would find Soma reason for content of mind ; Tea, even In the darkness groping. When hearts we; sore, and eyes were blind, She always found some cause for hoping. Der bsck wss bent ber balr was rsy, Tet mother's mother hsd a wsy Of always looking for the roaes; And there are more than man sup poses. It all hae helped me quite a lot Not only June, but June or not I've always tried to find a reason. However cold the westher got For being glad In sny season. t) Sf McClvr Nwipapf Bjradlcalo.) BBREVIATED LZ LSTORY THE SPORT KTlflR. TWILLER SCRATCH?" asked Veres Blnnlon. "The same," ssld Twiller Scratch. "Oh, I'm so glad to find you In I t's Iris are getting up a fund to teach foreign children In America their na tive language, so they csn talk to their fathers and mothers In cste the par ents can't speak English, and It you would care to " "Delighted!" said Twiller Scratch heartily. And he made out a check for $50. . "The bos cert'n'y is a sport" th stenographer murmured admiringly to the bookkeeper. During the next two hours Twiller Scratch bought a aet of hooka entitled, "Eighty Thousand Selected Chinese, Slameae and Portuguese Proverba," for 19 from a book peddler because the poor devil looked so hard up, sub scribed $20 to a fund for sending over shoes to the Dgoo ssvages In Africa, sod gsve the office boy $10 for his birthday. Then he went to lunch with Fred Oaprey and inflated on paying the whole check, which csme to IS. "Twiller, you're s iport and every body knowa It" said Otprey aa he patted blm on the back. "Not a tall, not s tall," aald Scratch modestly, aa he dropped a dollar bill into a burly beggar's overflowing tin cup. And In the course of the sfteruoon he loaned Artie Slstclirr $30 and gave a measenger boy a $2 tip. That evening after dinner his wife aid timidly. "Twiller, everything for the table's so high, snd I've mn a little short of money." "Money I Money I Money!" snapped Scratch. "Didn't I Just hand you a whole five-dollar bill th dsy before yesterday?" And he dodged Milnd the evening paper and didn't come out aguln till bis wife had gone to bed. i(S by Oaarta SUtthtw Adutta.) 0 THE YOUNG LADY ACROSS THE WAY Th young ludy scrota the way suys Sh doesn't suppose smoking hurts you So much If you don't exhale. PORTI AND I Jl 1 Lat-LVU Children, 10 cents Any Time. Continuous 1 to 11 p. (X T -11 w hav s few stlact cart that ara bur value. Be IDeSp 1 ranSpOlUlUOQ ynorbw'l'kou buy' KzPrt niamni and Storage bf FRANKLINS I7I.M AND TJT ALL WORK GUARANTEED Dundee Auto Repair & Machine Works The Oldest snd Best Equipped Repair Plant In Oregon Fast Water and Halmon 81a., Pertland, Ort-un Eait IMS :VLINDER QRINDINO- CRANK SHAFT GRINDING GEN. OVERHAULING DROP IRELAND'S SANDWICH SHOP 'Whereto Eat S Bin Lanttwt to take out 2.V and 35c Ic - TVdnf FOLKS! HlhKK S A 12S Slith Strait Best Horse Collar Made All lone rr straw stuffed. Inalat on having the collar with tha "Flah" LatxL U your dealer doee not handle thla brand collar, write to us direct F. SHARKEY A SON SI Union Av., Portland, Ore. International Bridges Under the treaty between the United States and Mexico the old bed of the Rio Grande river remains the boun dary. Below El Paso about 13.000 acres of American territory has been cut to the south of the Rio Grande, and the river runs for about 20 miles In the United States. There are three bridges on what la known as ''San Elisarlo island" Lee Moor bridge, Fa bens bridge and Tornlllo bridge. More Sweets, Leas Bsntlmsnt. Father (looking over bills) Hello! Five dollars for a box of candy that boy of ours sent to bis sweetheart. Good heavens, Jane, how things have changed aince we were young. In those days ail a young fellow bad to do was to band ber a losenge with "I love you" stamped upon It. Boaton Transcript. I Te Clean Matting. To clean matting on which grease or oil has been spilled spread thickly on the spot a paste of fuller's earth and water. When this dries put a paper over It and let It stand for a few days. Then brush off with dry fuller's earth and the stain will dis appear. Ambrosia? Mrs. S. was instructing the new maid about dinner before leaving for the afternoon. After enumerating the various viands, she added, "and we shall have ambrosia for dessert" The maid looked puztled for an instant, then said: "Ambrosia! Who's sheT Queer Dishes At a luncheon given recently In Lon don many strange edibles appeared on the menu, among them being goose stewed in honey, chicken stuffed with pistachio outs and dates and served with honey sauce and cherries, and pigeons stuffed with cherries. Boston's Original Nsme. The English nsme first given to Bos ton was Trlmountaln, which was changed to the present one at a town meeting of the early settlers who gathered at Charles town, across the river, on September 7, 1630. Flattery's Vatus. Flattery Is the art of making others believe you are Interested in them, when in reality they make you weary. Klod Hans (Copenhagen). A Test of Blood Pressure. Another good test of blood pressure Is to watch a man being liberal with the money he owes you. Flint Jour r.al. NORTONIA HOTEL Ton Win Feel Rlsht at Reno Ben Safe ssl Coatral teueuUe tilts. Eloelleat Cafe. Special Weeklr Rates, bus Meets aU Trains. 11th asd Stark. PORTLAND. OREGON PALACE HOTEL 44S Washington St., Cor. 12th St Earnestly solicits your patronafs. Tou Will have all the com forte at vnur tn hems. Very reasonable retM and nnnnt mum wunwui oej-riao Qivo ua a trial AUGUST KRATZ Manaoor icrttnjfiti. in TSSTTO Wrfm' W. L. ll-ar, nrwl. ttm h tiluul train! uiulrr Stair Km VV I !. e)our tainmia World H IWke iel- Hworil TW, Strain Wb. Isburaa, la yra. nn- iiiihi rur rttr rhirka, hwttrr luee.bvttar arrvloe. free ceteluf QUEEN HATCHERV- Joy Todd lIO 1ST. AVSNUS - SSATTLB " MARRY IF LONELY: Join "The Successful Correspondence Club." Re liable; Descriptions free. BOX 680, OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA. OFFERS A MARKET FOR YOUR PRODUCE VAUDEVILLE PICTURES Mats. Eve. 15c 25c m. Portland, Oregon. ANDIRSON A RICI MOTOR SERVICB Btttsr Franklin Service 401-1 Hurt SL. at Ninth. Portland, Or. BRoadway 170 ORECON'S FINEST BEACH RESORT HOTEL ModmU Rain. Varied AmuwnwaU TWO COLF LINKS. BF.ASIDP. HOTEL SEASIDP. ORF.CON UIH - hKLNLK liulk PORTLAND, or .163 Waihlnttm Street. CUT FLOWERS I FLORAL DESIGNS Clarke Bros, ITorUts, S7 Uorrtaoa St. WE BUY Hides, Pelts, Wool, Mobir. Tallow, Cascara Bark Horse Hair. Send os roar ehlpmnts. We Mall roo the suae day we receive rooda. Portland Hide a Wool Co. lis Sana sissst sssrs, rssruas, sassst. Bedroom Moldings. When the bedroom celling Is toe high, making it a cold and uninvit ing room. It Is a good plan to carry the ceiling color down the walls sll around aa tar aa the tops of the window casings, forming s "canopy" which can be separated from ths wall with a molding or a simple 11ns of color. Conaldersts. "Why is It thst confounded new maid never answer when we ling the belir "I don't think we'd better be too exacting at first, Horace. The girl tells me she used to be employed at a telephone exchange." An Example, A philosopher says he never heard a generalization about women that waa not a line. How about this one? Providence Journal How Kindl Landlady (to boarder who has been gloomily eyeing cold Joint served up on a very cold evening) Yon look ab solutely perished with cold, Mr. Jen kins! (graciously). Don't be afraid of the mustard. London Tit-Bits. EAT WHAT YOU LIKE without fear! Barkroot Tonic keeps your digestive system active and your body healthy. Portland Msll Carrier Saysi "Have taken Park root Tonle with moat aallefiu'tory rraulu after a seTero reae of Influent but aprlna. and find It equally effective to head off a cold." For Sale by All Druggists Nature' Own Tonic Your Health Demands It! MY celebrated treatment for Tiles and other Rectal and Colon ailment, la so sure, so safe, so easily obtained that It Is folly to post pons proper care until your health Is arc tlrtly broken down. My new 100-page Illustrated book, which is yours (or the asking, discusses those diseases, contains scores of letters from patients, describes my methods snd states my unqualified liUAKAN l fcE to per manently relieve you of Piles or refund your fee. Write or call today. DEAN. M.D. Int tMlUTl Alain firfirvc sir art nsrsrirsrsr ' Off Dan Buirtlino ft Ut StssHW ftjriMl ft TH AN tL-MAI t4 6 TH A O PtNif -1 C saaaaam u is i Li1A3i J. (S by atoClur Niwimixr SyadloMa.)