4
If You Would Avoid Con.
itant Colds, Grippe, Uk
Good Tonic.
4?
t'H"
Salem "Dr. Ticrce'i medicines have
been ued in my family and 1 have no
lieiitancy in saying tint tliey always
fiuve taliniui-tory remits. My litlaiil
mil the 'flu' and il appeared at Itiuiiuli
he was never gnfotf to get well, lie
would coutili all niulit lung, and luffcrtil
(rum irvcre licailachrs. lie gut io
weak and poorly tli-l lie could not go
out of the lioute. He was in a miier
able Hale n( health when he decided to
take Dr. l'icrre'i Golden Medical Dis
covery. He could notice an improve
tnent duriiiK the Tint bottle, and by the
tune he had taken three he was rid of
the coiikIi and paint in hit head, and
wai well and ttrong. He hat been
strung hralihy man ever since." Mrs.
V. J. Allen, IJ97 N. Commercial St.
Ask your nearest drtiKKiit for Doctor
I'ierce't Discovery, in tahlet or liquid
form; or tend 10c for trial pkg. of tab
leti to Dr. I'icrcci Clime, ill Uuffalo.
N Y.
Another Mistake exploded.
The huU'Trup la another of those
little things, that deceive ut by their
nuiiin. It dorlvi'd Ita title from the
Iguoraut notion that, when cowt ate
huttcrrupa, the butter producing quel
Itlra of tli uillk were Improved. The
truth of thla hat not beon proved, for
I he simple rtaaon that cowt don't eat
hullcn-upa.
Rock Formation,
The term "monadnock" la derived
from Mount Monadnock In New
Hampshire, and la applied to an Iso
luted uiountalnllka remnant of hard
riH k rxtondlng above Ita aurroundlnge
In the late itatot of period of cycle
of erosion. Htone mountain In Geor
gia la another loitance of thla class.
In Boaton Keep Going.
Persons who visit Ilostoo art often
perphiiid by Ita mate or streets. A
visitor waa romplalnlng to a realdent
that he waa constantly getting loat
"Never mind," aald the Doatonlan.
"Just kep on going airtight ahead
and yon will alwaya com out where
you went In." exchange.
Cheeae Very Much Alive.
"An old ttory." aald a well known
author recently, "telle ua how a rail
way frvlKht agent wrote to a gour
luout: 'Ix ar Hlr We have now held
your shipment of one Cametnbert
rhiMxo for three daya. If tame la not
railed for Immediately, it will be
shot. -
Remarkable Linguist
Sir William Rowan Hamilton, the
relvbrated Knglish mathematician,
who died in 18(15, had an extraordinary
faculty for learning languagee, and
!a aald at the nga of twelve to have
nisstered 13 languages, besides Eng
lish. Conclutlve.
i
"My client la not mentally normal.
The fact that he murdered hla wife
la partly a proof of that, but the fact
that he married again la conclutlve."
Dorfbarbler, Iturlln.
Two Fir Cauaea.
KliH trlc light wires hung over nallt
and oily raga thrown Into a corner are
two of the. things which give the news
puMTi it or lot about "fires of unknown
origin."
Hating Oneaelf III.
lluln, In the courae of time, creates
polaon Iu the system as well as In the
mind, and all evil emotion Is bad for
the health. One of the earlleat-dls-covered
trulha was that health and
morality depund on each other, and
many rellglona are built largely upon
hygiene,
Grsst Lawyer-President.
Van Duron and Benjamin Harrison
are connldore(H the greatest lawyers
who hove been President of the United
Btutee.
You Want a Good Position
Vary wall Take the Aooountanirf an
IliialnxM Management, Private Hort an
al, Calculator. Comptometer, Htonoare,
pHO, I'enmaiiahlp, or Commercial Teaob
ra' Couraa at
Behnke-Walker
Tha fornnoDt Tlillee Collect of th
North wt which hae won more Aoeurwoy
atwarila and Onld Medals than any othar
chool In Amerlue, Band for eur Sunoeaa
retainer. Fnurlh 8trat sear Morrison,
Portland, Or. leoao M. Walker, Pres.
P. N. U.
No. 18, 1020 1
WHEN HE
PROPOSED TO
PENELOPE
By SWIFT ADAMS
B ar snort star? Paa, ce.)
(( THINK I'll I
I I'enelope to i
X. to a qulut c
THINK I'll got married," said
herself, as the sat
corner on the ver
anda of the HeaaUIe hotel.
Penelop was youug and pretty. No
level-headed peraon would ever have
thought of making an aaaortion that,
Dy any possibility, could be coustrued
as contradictory to such palpable
fucta. And every man at the hotel was
heels over head In lov with her.
After having reached thla Important
matrimonial declalon, ah charged
along th pinna, so wrapped In ber
cogltatlona that at a sharp turn aba
bumped, with considerable violence,
into Tom Hutbnway.
"Oh I" ah guaped, "I beg your par-
aon i k
"Tou can't have It," Interrupted Tom.
"There's no renaon why I should glv
it to yon. It wss delightful."
ioui iiatusway, aren't you
aanamed "
"No at all," said Tom. "Let's play
golf."
"But It's so hot," protested Ten
elope. "Even the csddles are asleep."
"Never mind." aald Tom. "Then
we'll have th link all to ourselves.
Com along."
Tom waa on hla knees, making her
tee, when It hnptwned. I'enelope stood
close to him. Huddeuly he seised her
hand.
"I'enelope, dearest, fur a long time
I hnv wanted to tell you aomethlng. I
want to say" (he fervently ktaaed her
hand) "that I"
"Oh Tom I" screamed Penelope.
"Whatever Is ths matterr Tom had
Jumped to hla feet and waa wildly
grabbing at hla mouth and choking.
He had planted a paaalonat klas on
a wad of damp sand that. In bis ex
citement, he had pressed Into her
hand.
"Hello, what's upT and Dob Hamil
ton, who had heard Penelope ecresm,
cam running ont of the clubhouse.
"I I guess Tom hss some sand In
his mouth." said Penelope.
"flood," aald Dob; "It's good for his
digestion. But how on earth"
He stopped short Neither of his
listeners waa In a condition to utter
an Intelligible answer. Tom mad a
break for the pump, and Penelope waa
alttlng on th ground, sobbing with
laughter.
"What In heaven's nam Is the mat
ter with Torar asked Bob, after she
had In a measur recovered her com
posure. "He Just bad an accident," ah re
plied. "Oh, aU right," said Bob. "If you
don't want to tell, I dont want to
know. Let's take a walk."
They promenaded lazily until they
cam upon a secluded bench. They sat
and chatted, and hla arm crept toward
her welet, much to th consternation
of an old gardener, who unobserved
behind them was sprinkling th Iswn
with a hoe.
"There Is something I have long
wanted to say to yon," began Bob.
"Oh, dear P sighed Penelope to her
self. "They all begin th earn way."
"I want to tall you a aecrot darling."
h said, spproschlng nearer to ber
lips thsn ber ar.
Th poor gardener was so perturbed
at Bob's words and artlons thst he
nenrooaly dropped th hose.
Bob opened his mouth to make tha
rest of his declaration, and waa
astounded to receive In It an Inch
stream of water. Gasping and splut
tering, he struggled to his feet. In
mad consternation, th gardener
clutched th offending bos and dis
appeared. I'eoelop gated at Bdb with stunned
horror and surprise.
"You you are not having a fit, sr
you, Bohr sh Baked tremulously.
"Some careless d n fool " sput
tered Bob.
"Beg pardon I" exclaimed Fred
Chase, another of th Devoted Circle,
suddenly coming Into view, with a pair
of oars over his shoulder. "Penelope,
I'm ashamed of you. I didn't thluk
you would tolerate profanity even
from Bob," h tacked on with good
natured sarcasm.
Bob glared at him, and, without
word to either of them, stalked away.
"What's the rip with Bobr asked
Frod. "He looks out of sorts."
"He frets a little tired," sh said
drily. "Is It nlc rowing r she added
quickly, auxloua to divert his atten
tion from poor Bob.
"It Is, If you have a parasol and
ar prepared to lie quit still," bs laid.
"Com on and try It, anyway."
As sh sank down on th boat
cushions, sh gave a little sigh. "I
suppose he couldn't have gone on after
that," ah murmured halt aloud.
"Eh, what's that?" atked Fred.
"I was thinking how handsome you
took In that bat," she replied calmly.
"Thanks," said Fred. 'Th same to
you snd many of them."
"Tou don't tslk connectedly, Fred,"
commented Penelope.
"How could I," suddenly burst out
Fred, "with you so near me? Pene
lope, dear, I want a wife."
lie's original, at any rat," thought
Penelope.
"And you, darling, ever sine that
day-"
"Look where your going, Fred!"
shrieked I'enelope.
It wss too Into. The bout crnahed
Into a rock Unit Stood half nut of th
water. Th boat stopped. Frod didn't '
He kept on going and landed on hli
buck several feet th other side ol
th rock,
"Fred, oh, Fred, ar yon drowned?'
cried I'enelope.
But It happened thst Fred wss not
drowned. He presently renppesred,
standing In shout four feet of water
Nevertheless Mulurnck Hartford, who
from the thore, had witnessed th 1st
ter part of the Incident, Jumped Into
somebody's bout slid pulled frautlcall)
for th scene of disturbance, He Bret
made sur that I'enelope wss not hurt,
aud then rowed over to Fred, who wai
bually wignged In wiping th watei
from his face and curslug hlrasell
heartily.
"Too bad, old man," said Mularack
"Jump Into ths boat and I'll tuk yoo
to Penelope."
"No," said Fred, "I'm too wet Too
take her sshore, old chap, and III b
everlastingly obliged to you. I'll tok
your boat"
Malarack wss not st all reluctant to
make the chunge, sod soon had Pen
slop on terra firm.
"Do let us walk under th trees,"
said Penelope. "So much has hap
pened to me today that my nerval
ar quit on edits.
Malarack assented. As they strolled
along, Malarack suddenly turned end
said:
"Penelope, there Is something I have
wsnted to say to you for a long while.
I-"
"Walt I" cried Penelope, with sud
den declalon. 'Hit down on that bench."
Malarack Blared at her curiously
snd compiled.
"Tou won't fall off, will your atked
Penelope.
"I should hope not said Malarack,
looking at her In blank surprise.
'Please put this parasol over your
shoulder," directed Penelope.
Malarack did so, eyeing ber nervous
ly. "Have you any aand In your pock
ets T", she suddenly demanded.
"Penelope!" he began severely.
"There I It's all right now." said
Penelope, sinking down beside him.
Malarack, sfter all, waa the one she
would have chosen, she thought "Tou
were going to ssyT she said softly.
"Kht Oh, yes." replied Malarack.
"I have been wanting to tell you,
as an old friend, that you really pow
der your nose too hesvlly. Now, I
hope good heavens I Penelope, what
ails your
Penelope bad fainted.
Hungry World Call,
for Much Fooditafi
Even If you are what la called a
small eater the amount of food needed
to keep you going for a year is con
siderable. In that period you will eat
120 pounds of meat and fish, 8T8
pounds of bresdstuffs, Including other
grains such as rice and oatmeal, a
similar amount of potatoes, vegetables,
snd fruit besides some 20 pounds of
butter and cheese, mustard, pepper,
salt and so on.
When you remember that there are
some one thousand six hundred mil
lion people In the world, the amount
of food required to feed them all la
colossal. Tet hundred million peo
ple produce It all. These plow and
cultivate fields, orchards, and gardens,
reap or gather their crops, milk ths
cows, make the butter and cheese, and
catch the flah.
The case may be cited of one Amer
ican family consisting of a father, his
four sons, a nephew, and a soo-ln-law.
Tbey run a large farm In South Da
kota. In 1U24 these seven men pro
duced, by their own labor, 20,0cm) bush
sis of wheat besides keeping and feed
ing nearly one hundred head of cattle.
The record of fiaherman Is even
more wonderful than thst of farmers.
Europe and the United States between
them require more than five million
tons of ftah yesrly, while the total
number of men employed In the fisher
ies of these countries Is under a mil
lion. So each nun Is responsible for
catching Bve tons of fish yearly.
All H4 Evr CalUd Ht
In certain parts of rural England It
la uncommon for a man to address
his wife by her baptismal name. In Il
lustration of which Thomas Hardy,
the novelist, told the following story:
An elderly farmer called In a lawyer
and explained that he wished to make
his will. The lawyer took out his
fountain pen, snd prepared to receive
his client's instructions. 'I'll leave
all my brass to my wife," the farmer
said. "We've been married 80 years."
What's your wife's Chrlstlun name?'
asked the lawyer, making a note of
the bequest The farmer scratched
his hesd, thought hard for several
seconds, and finally said that he
couldn't remember. The lawyer
thought of a plan that would spur his
memory. "Walk to the door," he sug
gested, "and about upstairs as if you
were calling her." The farmer did,
and shouted, "Missus."
Pottibly Correct
A non-commtssloncd officer was In
structing a squad of recruits In the
use of the rlllo.
'Now, Private Murphy," he said,
turning to a strapping young man,
Supposing 1 was standing a thousand
yards away, over by that farm build
ing, and a party of Infantry were Bring
at me from here, while you were in
between us, what would happen to
you?"
'Why, sergeant replied the re
cruit "th bullets would pass over ay
head."
'Quite right; and what would hap
pen to meT" asked the serg ant
'I scarcely know," said Murphy,
with a grin. "But I expect you would
be dodging round the house." Lon
don Answers.
IN ANY SEASON
y DOUGLAS MALLOCH
fjrx MOTHER'S mother had a way
iA Of aaylng things thst others say,
But ssylng tbsin a whole lot better.
I never ssw ber write a letter,
I never heard her make a speech,
I never heard ber really preach,
And yet sh said, well I remember:
"Th Bowers are never out of reach,
I've found thein even Iu December."
She looked for flowers sll the year.
And always found th flowers here
When others thought the summer
over.
It's easy In the time of clover
To And the blossoms by the wall ;
Hut, when the leaves began to full.
Perhaps with drifting snow around
tbem,
8be looked for flowers, sfter all,
And mother's mother always found
them.
She found them even in ber grief.
Vet, ahe would lift some fallen leaf,
And find some bud forever starting.
Some comfort In the hour of parting.
la every trouble sh would find
Soma reason for content of mind ;
Tea, even In the darkness groping.
When hearts we; sore, and eyes were
blind,
She always found some cause for
hoping.
Der bsck wss bent ber balr was
rsy,
Tet mother's mother hsd a wsy
Of always looking for the roaes;
And there are more than man sup
poses. It all hae helped me quite a lot
Not only June, but June or not
I've always tried to find a reason.
However cold the westher got
For being glad In sny season.
t) Sf McClvr Nwipapf Bjradlcalo.)
BBREVIATED
LZ LSTORY
THE SPORT
KTlflR. TWILLER SCRATCH?"
asked Veres Blnnlon.
"The same," ssld Twiller Scratch.
"Oh, I'm so glad to find you In I t's
Iris are getting up a fund to teach
foreign children In America their na
tive language, so they csn talk to their
fathers and mothers In cste the par
ents can't speak English, and It you
would care to "
"Delighted!" said Twiller Scratch
heartily. And he made out a check
for $50. .
"The bos cert'n'y is a sport" th
stenographer murmured admiringly to
the bookkeeper.
During the next two hours Twiller
Scratch bought a aet of hooka entitled,
"Eighty Thousand Selected Chinese,
Slameae and Portuguese Proverba," for
19 from a book peddler because the
poor devil looked so hard up, sub
scribed $20 to a fund for sending over
shoes to the Dgoo ssvages In Africa,
sod gsve the office boy $10 for his
birthday.
Then he went to lunch with Fred
Oaprey and inflated on paying the
whole check, which csme to IS.
"Twiller, you're s iport and every
body knowa It" said Otprey aa he
patted blm on the back.
"Not a tall, not s tall," aald Scratch
modestly, aa he dropped a dollar bill
into a burly beggar's overflowing tin
cup.
And In the course of the sfteruoon
he loaned Artie Slstclirr $30 and gave
a measenger boy a $2 tip.
That evening after dinner his wife
aid timidly. "Twiller, everything for
the table's so high, snd I've mn a
little short of money."
"Money I Money I Money!" snapped
Scratch. "Didn't I Just hand you a
whole five-dollar bill th dsy before
yesterday?"
And he dodged Milnd the evening
paper and didn't come out aguln till
bis wife had gone to bed.
i(S by Oaarta SUtthtw Adutta.)
0
THE YOUNG LADY
ACROSS THE WAY
Th young ludy scrota the way suys
Sh doesn't suppose smoking hurts you
So much If you don't exhale.
PORTI AND
I Jl 1 Lat-LVU
Children, 10 cents Any Time.
Continuous 1 to 11 p.
(X T -11 w hav s few stlact cart that ara bur value. Be
IDeSp 1 ranSpOlUlUOQ ynorbw'l'kou buy' KzPrt niamni and Storage bf
FRANKLINS
I7I.M AND TJT
ALL WORK GUARANTEED
Dundee Auto Repair & Machine Works
The Oldest snd Best Equipped Repair Plant In Oregon
Fast Water and Halmon 81a., Pertland, Ort-un Eait IMS
:VLINDER QRINDINO- CRANK SHAFT GRINDING GEN. OVERHAULING
DROP IRELAND'S SANDWICH SHOP 'Whereto Eat
S Bin Lanttwt to take out 2.V and 35c Ic - TVdnf
FOLKS!
HlhKK S A
12S Slith Strait
Best Horse Collar
Made
All lone rr straw stuffed.
Inalat on having the collar
with tha "Flah" LatxL U
your dealer doee not handle
thla brand collar, write to us
direct
F. SHARKEY A SON
SI Union Av., Portland, Ore.
International Bridges
Under the treaty between the United
States and Mexico the old bed of the
Rio Grande river remains the boun
dary. Below El Paso about 13.000
acres of American territory has been
cut to the south of the Rio Grande,
and the river runs for about 20 miles
In the United States. There are three
bridges on what la known as ''San
Elisarlo island" Lee Moor bridge, Fa
bens bridge and Tornlllo bridge.
More Sweets, Leas Bsntlmsnt.
Father (looking over bills) Hello!
Five dollars for a box of candy that
boy of ours sent to bis sweetheart.
Good heavens, Jane, how things have
changed aince we were young. In
those days ail a young fellow bad to
do was to band ber a losenge with "I
love you" stamped upon It. Boaton
Transcript.
I
Te Clean Matting.
To clean matting on which grease
or oil has been spilled spread thickly
on the spot a paste of fuller's earth
and water. When this dries put a
paper over It and let It stand for a
few days. Then brush off with dry
fuller's earth and the stain will dis
appear. Ambrosia?
Mrs. S. was instructing the new
maid about dinner before leaving for
the afternoon. After enumerating the
various viands, she added, "and we
shall have ambrosia for dessert" The
maid looked puztled for an instant,
then said: "Ambrosia! Who's sheT
Queer Dishes
At a luncheon given recently In Lon
don many strange edibles appeared on
the menu, among them being goose
stewed in honey, chicken stuffed with
pistachio outs and dates and served
with honey sauce and cherries, and
pigeons stuffed with cherries.
Boston's Original Nsme.
The English nsme first given to Bos
ton was Trlmountaln, which was
changed to the present one at a town
meeting of the early settlers who
gathered at Charles town, across the
river, on September 7, 1630.
Flattery's Vatus.
Flattery Is the art of making others
believe you are Interested in them,
when in reality they make you weary.
Klod Hans (Copenhagen).
A Test of Blood Pressure.
Another good test of blood pressure
Is to watch a man being liberal with
the money he owes you. Flint Jour
r.al.
NORTONIA HOTEL
Ton Win Feel Rlsht at Reno Ben
Safe ssl Coatral teueuUe tilts.
Eloelleat Cafe. Special Weeklr
Rates, bus Meets aU Trains. 11th asd Stark.
PORTLAND. OREGON
PALACE HOTEL
44S Washington St., Cor. 12th St
Earnestly solicits your patronafs. Tou
Will have all the com forte at vnur tn
hems. Very reasonable retM and nnnnt
mum wunwui oej-riao
Qivo ua a trial
AUGUST KRATZ Manaoor
icrttnjfiti. in TSSTTO
Wrfm' W. L. ll-ar, nrwl. ttm
h tiluul train! uiulrr Stair Km
VV I !. e)our tainmia World H
IWke
iel-
Hworil
TW,
Strain Wb. Isburaa, la yra. nn-
iiiihi rur rttr rhirka, hwttrr
luee.bvttar arrvloe. free ceteluf
QUEEN HATCHERV- Joy Todd
lIO 1ST. AVSNUS - SSATTLB "
MARRY IF LONELY: Join "The
Successful Correspondence Club." Re
liable; Descriptions free. BOX 680,
OAKLAND, CALIFORNIA.
OFFERS A MARKET
FOR YOUR PRODUCE
VAUDEVILLE PICTURES
Mats. Eve.
15c 25c
m. Portland, Oregon.
ANDIRSON A RICI MOTOR SERVICB
Btttsr Franklin Service
401-1 Hurt SL. at Ninth. Portland, Or. BRoadway 170
ORECON'S FINEST BEACH RESORT HOTEL
ModmU Rain. Varied AmuwnwaU
TWO COLF LINKS.
BF.ASIDP. HOTEL SEASIDP. ORF.CON
UIH - hKLNLK liulk
PORTLAND, or .163 Waihlnttm Street.
CUT FLOWERS I FLORAL DESIGNS
Clarke Bros, ITorUts, S7 Uorrtaoa St.
WE BUY
Hides, Pelts, Wool, Mobir.
Tallow, Cascara Bark
Horse Hair.
Send os roar ehlpmnts. We Mall roo
the suae day we receive rooda.
Portland Hide a Wool Co.
lis Sana sissst sssrs, rssruas, sassst.
Bedroom Moldings.
When the bedroom celling Is toe
high, making it a cold and uninvit
ing room. It Is a good plan to carry
the ceiling color down the walls sll
around aa tar aa the tops of the
window casings, forming s "canopy"
which can be separated from ths wall
with a molding or a simple 11ns of
color.
Conaldersts.
"Why is It thst confounded new
maid never answer when we ling the
belir "I don't think we'd better be
too exacting at first, Horace. The
girl tells me she used to be employed
at a telephone exchange."
An Example,
A philosopher says he never heard
a generalization about women that
waa not a line. How about this one?
Providence Journal
How Kindl
Landlady (to boarder who has been
gloomily eyeing cold Joint served up
on a very cold evening) Yon look ab
solutely perished with cold, Mr. Jen
kins! (graciously). Don't be afraid of
the mustard. London Tit-Bits.
EAT WHAT YOU LIKE
without fear! Barkroot
Tonic keeps your digestive
system active and your body
healthy.
Portland Msll Carrier Saysi
"Have taken Park root Tonle with
moat aallefiu'tory rraulu after a seTero
reae of Influent but aprlna. and find
It equally effective to head off a cold."
For Sale by All Druggists
Nature' Own Tonic
Your Health Demands It!
MY celebrated treatment for
Tiles and other Rectal and
Colon ailment, la so sure, so safe, so
easily obtained that It Is folly to post
pons proper care until your health Is arc
tlrtly broken down. My new 100-page
Illustrated book, which is yours (or the
asking, discusses those diseases, contains
scores of letters from patients, describes
my methods snd states my unqualified
liUAKAN l fcE to per
manently relieve you of
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Write or call today.
DEAN. M.D. Int
tMlUTl Alain firfirvc sir art nsrsrirsrsr '
Off Dan Buirtlino ft Ut StssHW ftjriMl
ft TH AN tL-MAI t4 6 TH A O PtNif
-1 C
saaaaam u is i
Li1A3i J.
(S by atoClur Niwimixr SyadloMa.)