The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942, December 04, 1908, Image 5

Historic Oregon Newspapers

The Athena press., December 04, 1908, Image 5

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About The Athena press. (Athena, Umatilla County, Or.) 18??-1942 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 4, 1908)

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Newspaper Page Textsi "V Peculiar todtself Inspection, proportion and combination of Ingredients, In the process by which their remedial Talnes are extracted and preserved, In effectiveness, usefulness and economy. j vnnng toe widest range of diseases. Having the most medicinal merit. And the Greatest record of cures, Hood's Sarsapariila In usual liquid form or In chocniafert tablets known as Sarsatabs. 100 doses $1. Probably Lapsed. "Mr. Hankinson," said the mother of the young woman to the youth whom she uspscted of an ambition to become a weinl)r of the family, "have you ever been baptized?" "Once, I think," he answered, hesitat ingly. Cause and Effect. . The Doctor That is a point In thera peutics I shall have to look up. I find I am growing rusty. Tne Professor Rusty? Then there ia too much iron in your blood. A Bit Flahr, This. Porpoise What la the whale blowing about? Dogfish Oh, he got so many notices for his feat In swallowing Jonah he's been blowing ever since. Boston Tran script. i : By the addition of "20-Mule-Team" Borax to the water in which carriages, bicycles, automo biles and other vehicles are washed, the dirt and grease will be quickly removed without destruc tion of the varniBh: in fact, the varnish will be benefited by the process ordinarily. The cow's udder ia kept in a clean, healthy and smooth condition by washing; it with "2QMule Team" Borax and water. This prevents roujrh ness and soreness or cracked teata which make milking; .time a dread to the cow and a worry to the milker. The milk pail is kept free from stateness, Blimi- nea una nucKinesa li it is washed witn zC-Mule-Team" Borax and watei one tablespoonful to a quart of water. Packed to, 1, and 6 lb packages. , " KASPARILLA TLis sterling household remedy ia most successfully prescribed for a "world of troubles." For derangements of the di gestive organs it is a natural corrective, ' operating directly upon the liver and ali , V mentary . canal, , gently but persistently r"j stimulating a . healthful activity. Its ' " beneficial influence extends, however, to every portion of the system, aiding in the processes of digestion and assimilation of food, promoting a wholesome, natural appetite, correcting sour stomach, bad breath, irregularities of the bowels, con stipation and the long list of troubles directly traceable to those unwholesome conditions. Kasparilla dispels drowsi ; ness, headache, backache and despond ency due to inactivity of the liver, moneys ana aigesuve tract. It is a strenotheiung tonic of the highest value J4vfc-1ai!s " to satisfy we authorize al nil tiers to refund the purchase price; iyt vH,MicAi k:o. rortiana, uregon Zs your month similar in sriy way to the above? If so, no need to wear a wobbly, unusable partial plate or ill-Utting, ordinary bridge work. The Dr. Wise system of .. . , "TEETH WITHOUT PLATES" . The result of ?r-eta' experience, the new wny of rreuue.'ng teet&Jn the mouth teeth in f aot. teeth in appearance, teeth to chew your food upon, as you did upon your natural ones. Our force is so orean- Ised we oan do your entire crown, bridge or plate work in a day if neoemary. Positively painless ex traotins. Only high-class, scientific work. . WISE DENTAL CO., INC. Dr. W. ArWise, Manager., 21 years in Portland. Second Floor, Failing Building, Third and Wash ington Street!. Office hours, 8 A. M. to 8 P. M. Sun days, S to 1 P. M. Painless Kitraotlngv 6Uo: plates, K up. Phones A and Main 2028. Xlie Hind iou Jlave Always lsou?ht lias borne the signa ture of Chas. II. Fletcher, and has been made under his fiersonal supervision for over 30 years. Allow no one o deceive you in this. Counterfeits, Imitations and .. Just-as-grood" are but Experiments, and endanger the health of Children Experience against Experiment. What is CASTORIA Castoria is a harmless substitute for Castor Oil, Pare goric, Drops and Soothing: Syrups. It is Pleasant. It contains neither Opium, Morphine nor other Narcotic substance. Its age is its guarantee. It destroys "Worms and allays Feverishness. It cures Diarrhoea and Wind ' Colic. It relieves Teething Troubles, cures Constipation and Flatulency. It assimilates the Food, regulates the Stomach and Bowels, giving healthy and natural sleep. The Children's Panacea The Mother's Friend. The Kind You Me Always Bought Bears the In Use For Oyer 30 Years. vmc ccirr.ua eonMutv. tt murmay strut, mcw roam err. rV II I: t Prldt, The Man at the Door My little girl, ma'am, picked up a shoppln' bag which she says she seen an old lady drop an' I thought maybe it was yours, ma'am. The Lady in the Hall (haughtily) There are no old ladles here. It isn't mine. ' And yet It wos hers. Just the same. Cleveland Plain Dealer. Strictly Boalneas. Inquiring Friend You've given op booze? How did you ever summon up enough fortitude and self-deuial to do that? Budger I paid a high priced doctor $25 to tell me what was the matter with me, and that was his sole prescription. By George, I couldn't afford to wasts all that money 1 . ' Amending the DeelaraUloa. "Has your order been taken?" asked one of the waiters. "Yes," said Mr. Welbroke, "fifteen min utes ago. If it isn't too late, though, I'd like to change It." "To change your order, sir?" "Yes; if you don't mind I'll change it to an entreaty." Mothers will find Mrs. WInslow" Soothing Byrnp the best remedy to use lor their enjdra The fifth wedding anniversary is the wooden" wedding ; the tenth, "tin : fit teenth. "crystal;" twenty-fifth, "silver;" thirtieth, "pearl;" fiftieth, "golden;" seventy-nrcn, .diamond." Orlarln of the Coolneaa. Esmeralda I don't care much for auto mobile riding. , Gwendolen I iiiDDose not; tha rhnnf. feur can't manage the machine with out nana. Prospective Baslnsss. "I'll take your damage case," said the lawyer, helping to bis feet the man just hit by an automobile. "Thank you," replied the victim. "I'm not much hurt, but I recognized that measly chauffeur. He may have a case for you later." Philadelphia Ledger. Explained at Last. "The late Dr. Morgan Dlx," said a cleryman of New York, "had a droll way of lightening grave subjects with little humorous asides. Once I heard him addressing a graduating class at a medical school. He began In this way "'Physiologists tell us, gentlemen, that the older a man grows the smaller big brain becomes. This explains why the old man knows nothing and the young one everything.'" CITC St. Vitas' Dunce and ' orvoug Diseases rm- 1 1 J neatly cured by Dr. It line's Great Nerve Re storer. Send tor FREE $3.00 trial bottle and treatise. Dr. B. fi. Kline. Ld., 831 Arch St., Philadelphia, Fa. ATot Dlsannnf n.1 . Goodman Gonrong I've had the offer of a job an' I've a great mind to go to work. Haymold Storey I alwuz knowed ther' wus a yeller streak in you. The Famous Poor. Each of the following named gentle men, upon being out late with the boys has concocted a famous excuse, and, what Is more wonderful, got away with It. They are: Jonah, Ulysses, Rip Van Winkle, Robinson Crusoe. Judge.' Fairy Tale. On the third finger of her left hand the sweet young thing wore a magnificent soli taire. "So you're going to mary a prince, art you?" said the necessary questioner. "A prince? I -don't understand." "The son of a coal king." "O, yes," smiled the sweet young thing. "I'm to be his Cinder Ella," To Breal: In New Shoes. Always shake in Allen's-Foot-Ease, a powder, it cures hot, sweating, aching, swollen feet, '-ures corns, ingrowing nails and bunions. At ill flrilfffri stB Anri clw.n ctQ.uu Q.n r "-fl " - ofcw -a , MA. iuiii aucvui my substitute. SamplemailedFKEfi. Address A linn (A mn.BfA4 I l XT V Concerning Mrs. Jypes. Mrs. Goodsola What satisfaction does Mrs. Jy pes derive from ber new automo bile? I never see ber riding in It. Miss Capsicum She isn't deriving any satisfaction from it now. The Snoodles have bought a finer one. Mi22anaasta Signature of r a A Flavoring. It male j syrup letter than Maple. a Sold by grocer 'PERUNA A TONIC OF GREA T USEFULNESS. HON. R. S. THARIN. Hon. R. S. Tharin, attorney at la' and counsel for Anti-Trust Leagm writes from Pennsylvania Ave. N. W Washington, D. C, as follows: "Having used Peruna for Catarrh disorders, 1 am able to testify to il great remedial excellence and- do nc hesitate to give it my emphatic er dorsement and earnest recommendatio to all persons affected by that disordei It is also a tonic of great usefulness." Mr. T. Barnecott, West Aylmer, Or tario, Can., writes: "Last winter was ill with pneumonia after having I grippe. I took Peruna for two montbi when I became quite well. I also ir duced a young lady, who was all ru down and confined to the house, to tak Peruna, and after taking Peruna fo three months she is able to follow he trade of tailoring. I can recommen Peruna for all such who are ill and re quire a tonic." Pe-ru-na Tablets. Some people prefer to take tablets rather than to take medicine in a fiui form. Such people can obtain Perun tablets, which represent the soli medicinal ingredients of Peruna. Eac tablet is equivalent to one averag dqse of Peruna. viirnrette Smoking on the Increase Consumption of cigarettes increase' largely in the United States during tin last fiscal year ended June 30, 190S according to the preliminary annua statement of internal revenue recelnt Tobacco revenues generally fell off, th public smoking fewer cigars than th preceding year, taking less snuff an chewing less. But more cigarettes o all kinds were used. Less spirits were used than in i:K)" the heaviest falling off beinir in th spirits distilled from grain, the rev. nue on which declined over $15,000.00( This would indicate large decline 2 whisky consumption. The beer bus ness, however, continued to grow 1 spite of the depression. The total decrease in Internal revc nue, as compared with the precedin fiscal year, was $17,998,072. " ; la 1920. "Prisoner," said the magistrate s verely, "you are charged with being millionaire. How did you happen t falir "Your honor," responded the tren bllng man at the bar, "In a moment ( weakness I made a book on the aces "You're not incurable," rejoined tl magistrate, who at heart was not ui kind. "Go and reform by playing they book of some other fellow. Dismissed. 'X Philadelphia Ledger. Fame. Proud Father My daughter, I suppose, is getting along famously with her dra matic studies. Principal (of the school of dramatic art) Er yes; indeed she is. On ar amateurs' night at one of the theaters re cently the audience fairly went Wild with enthusiasm when she starred In a little comedy called "Getting the Hook." Chi cago Tribune. Enough lo Wake Them. "It's wonderful," said Dubley, "how wide-awake the Japanese have become in recent years." ' "Oh, it'a not so wonderful," replied the observant man, "when you consider that they have an earthquake every night or so in their country." Phila delphia Press. Appalling Result. Sadly the mermaid regarded herself is her mirror. "This," she said, "is ths penalty Im posed by nature for the absurd effort of my ancestresses, ages fo, . to abolish hips!" From which we learn how dancerous it is to meddle with the orderly processes of evolution. 17 to Date. They were looking up at the latest kyscrapper "But what are thosr things sticking out from the ildeeT asked the up-state friend. Those? Oh, "those are fhe mile posts 1" answered - the New Yorker. Judge. ' s. mm AN UNSURPASSED REMEDY! P!'a Con u iiiiiiiiiamul (a. nedy ioc cough, caida, bcoDchiu. M wwaiH uu uiroai mmM 1 tun attedKm. It (ors (fcract to Om tot at Um trouble and fencntty Kstona healthy crmdiaoM. Mothers can giv then- chiidnai fW't Gov with perfect coBBdeace ia pawto and freedom bmm etaatm. Fimom foe half a century. At all drucfW, 25 da. e: (-("i'l't'i'tiK - evalii -.'-"-"..'.'.. .. v.v. v.' .". v. v. . v.". ".v.'-'.",'1..." Vi av,'A'' fl (to vsgtewr KM Sff fi - t , al HAM'S HORN BLASTS. Warning Notes Calling ths Wicked to Rcpeatanre. It takes nil of a man's history to expluln any part I of it. The devil soob gets tired of wast ing ammunition, on the man who has on the whole armor of God. Christ did not come to give the world a new religion. He came to give it Himself. The cross to which Jesus went wa not covered with velvet. Folks who know little are little, no matter how big they talk. If the cow ever did Jump ' over the rooon, she didn't do it all at one Jump. Diplomas from the school of experi ence are generally worth all they cost If we could only get our eyes wide open, everywhere would be Wonder land. The Lord may be showing the angels the evening came Kiss Nightingale her self and took a Iook at inc. " 'I hope you're feeling better,' she Mid. "I wanted ' to answer, 'Madam, I feels as fit as a fighting cock,' but I managed to get out something more polite." All They Could Fay For. The question which often arises in the mind between indulgence and pru dence seldom finds Just the answer that is given in Harper's Weekly. The congregation of a colored church in Georgia conceived the notion that it would add greatly to Its dignity If the pastor could add "D. D." to his name. A member, hearing of an Institution which would, for value received, confer such a degree, entered Into correspond ence with that end in view. Reply came to the effect that the sum of seventy five dollars would obtain the desired dignity. The congregation, however, was un able to raise more than thirty-nine dol lars. Accordingly, the following mes sage was sent to the institution men tioned : "Kindly forward our pastor one 'D, wc being unable to afford the other at this time." Roagh on the Doctor. One nigbt as a Canadian doctor who lives In eastern Ontario was driving Into a village he saw a chap, a little the worse for liquor, amusing a crowd of spectators with the antics of his trick dog. The doctor watched him iwhile and said: "Sandy, how do you manage .to train your dogt I can't teach mine to do anything." Sandy, with that simple look In hla eyes, said, "Well, you see, doc, you kave to know more'n the dog or you can't learn blm nothing." At the Quirk Lunch. BUI You say he's old-fashioned? Jl." -Well.J should say so! Why. he CL?. a his food ! Yonkers Statesman. -Appearances may be deceitful, but disappearances are more convincing. , if jiji-i il uiu.u..prifnii ; -1 ripjii rrrmi rr uuijuimi, mutt I Rheumatism is caused by an excess of uric acid In the blood, which is carried through the circulation to all portions of the system. Every muscle, nerve, bone and joint absorbs the acrid, pain-producing poison, causing aches, inflammation, stiffness and other well known symptoms of the disease. Permanent relief from the pains and discomfort of Rheumatism cannot be expected from the use of liniments, plasters, and other external treatment which does not reach the blood, where the cause is located. Such measures give temporary relief, but in order to cure Rheumatism the uric acid and inflammatory poison must be expelled from the blood. S. S. S. cures Rheumatism because it is a perfect blood purifier. It goes down into the circulation, neutralizes the uric acid and drives it from the blood. S. S. S, expels the irritating, inflammatory matter which is causing the pain, swell ing and other discomfort, eariches the weak, sour blood, and permanently cures Rheumatism. In all forms of Rheumatism, whether acute or chronic, S. S. S. will be found a safe, vegetable remedy, possessing the properties needed to cure, and at the same time a medicine that builds up the entire sysi em by its fine tonic effects. Book on Rheumatism and any medical advice free to all who write. . JHE SWIFT SPECIFIC CO., ATLANTA, GA. Peanuts Imported. So many peanuts are eaten in this country that the native supply is not sufficient for the demand and about $3,000 worth of the African nuts were imported from Marsi'irieSlB1908 and over $73,000 worth in 1907. The west coast of Africa produces quantities of peanuts. Society Horror. "Gayman, I saw you In the conserva tory the other afternoon embracing an elderly spinster." "I don't deny it, Goodsole. I was try ing to conserve our natural resources. "Wh-what?" "Reclaiming an arid waist." ttaVitual Constipation May be permanently overcome proper personal efforts with the ossistan.ee of the one truly bencirial laxative remedy, Syrup o figs ana1 D'uirojSenna, which enables one to form regular habits daily so that assistance to na ture may be gradually dispensed with wnen no longer needed as the best of remeates.wtien n reoaired, are To assist it to supplant the natiir- nature ana not lo suool al junctions, which must depend ulti mately upon proper nourishment. ir . i.i mai ti,. Droner efforTs.and riiht living enern v. s r r i a. a .. iropw efforts, ana ricru u To get its benejicial efjects, alvways IJbuy the genuine mp'fRgS'fElivir'fSenna 'j manuiacturedby the California Fig Syrup Co. only SOU? BY ALL LEADING DRUGGISTS one size otity, regulur price 50f p ttottla fRESCENT Mosphate I BAKING Will DO ALL TIIAT ANT H!l PRICED POWDER HUL DO AND DO rr BETTER A FULL f SHOES These splendid men's ..IMS) litre Is IA shoe leather. Every piece of material is of the 'choicest tannage. The workmanship is perfect; the stylei are up-to-date. When it comes to service, there Is nothlnsr that equals them in lasting qualities. "HONORBILT" SHOES are everything the name Implies. They are "built on honor. " No matter where you look, or what you pay, you will never lind anything that will outclass them In wear, style or comfort. If your dealer will not supply you, write to us. Look for the Mqyer Jrade Mark on the sole. FREE Send us the name nanaie mayer nonoroiit anoes. iree puaioaio. a Deautuui oicture or l.eorore WBHliinu Washington Comfort Shews. F. Mayer Boot fif Shoe Co. MILWAUKEE, WISCONSIN The in the land is not always the 23 Ounces for 23 Gents Is the result of modern Ideas. Costs 3 less. uoesDetter work. You must try it to see. Get a can on trial. i ne oaiang will uglier ana lasuer or we pay iot tnc can. A CURE FOR RHEUMATISM TOWER'S FISH BRAND WATERPROOF OILED GARMENTS i are cut on larg patterns. designed fogiVe the wearer ,the utmost comfort llGHT-DURABLE-CLEAa ' pUARANTEEoviAIERPRO0' SUITS 322 SLICKERS 322 ttmtmtouitnr too tun uus mi nan or Bit run. I f0 'I A IT0V.IH CS BOSTON US A. TDWIN CAMBAN CO. UHITCO TM0NT0 CAR. C. Gee Wo The well known reliable CHINESE Root and Herb DOCTOR Hu mndo a lire study of roots nnl herb, and In thai etudy discovered and la alvw luu to t lie world lit wonder- No Mercury. Poisons or Drugs Used He Cures Without Operation, or Without the Aid of a Knif He ffUArnnteoa to Cure Cntiirrh, Ant limn, Lang, rhroftt, Htimimutimn, Norvosnwpi, Norvoui Debility, moninoh, Liver. Kidney Troiibln;lPoLo!t MaahooiL female Weak new and All Private jLilBeuspa A SURE CANCER CURE Just Received from Peking, China Safe, Sura aim nenaDie. IF TOIT ARE AFI.KTKH. DON'T DELAY. DELAYS AUE UANOtKOUS. COlNSULTATIQgN- PHEB tljoa cannot call, wiitofomynipton blnnkandolnOi fc lBr. InrloH 4 ci'ntii In ntnin im. THE O. O EE WO DUN KSE il HDlcINE CO. 92 1-2 1 lret St. , CdR M orr iou, Portland, Oregon, Fleoae Mention Thla Facer. PNU No. 44-08 WHKN trrltlnp; to advertiser! plena mention this paper. POUND 25c Get it from your Grocer FOR MEN shoes represent the bast of dealer who does not and we will send you Yerma Cualuua jfi ,-' KC for best Quality most costly be vastly better, Jaques M. Co. Chicago, I I 1 I 1U ILfil aft POWDER SI 1- 1 L'fr - S--KWjM ""