Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, August 26, 1904, Image 7

Corvallis gazette., August 26, 1904, Page 7, Image 7

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Newspaper Page Textr-7 i L ' J No Appetite Means loss of vitality, vigor or tone, and is often a pre cursor of prostrating sick ness. This is why it is serious. The best thing you can do is to take the great alterative and tonic Hood'sSarsaparflla Which has cored thousands Commuting; a Sentences Judge Gary, at a recent meeting ef Steel Trust stockholders in Hoboken, aid In the course of an argument: "Your objection reminds me ef the objection a lawyer once made to a judge's sentence. This judge had giv en a prisoner, convicted of second de gree murder, thirty years solitary con finement, whereupon the lawyer cried out: " 'But, your honor, my client is old. He won't live thirty years.' "'Well, then.' said the Judge, 'I'll shorten his sentence to life imprison ment, if you prefer It" New York Tribune. Another Crank. "What did that new arrival want?" asked the Recording Angel. "lie asked me if I knew where he could get hold of four old halos," said St. Peter. "Lie says he wants to try to build an automobile." Philadelphia Press. The total trade of Abyssinia is about $3,000,000 per annum. Mrs. Haskell, Worthy Vice- Templar, Independent Order Good Templars, of Silver Lake, Mass., tells of her cure by the use of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege table Compound. " Dkab Mrs. Phtkham : - Four years ago I was nearly dead with inflamma tion and ulceration. I endured daily untold agony, and life was a burden to me. I bad used medicines and washes internally and externally until I made up my mind that there was no relief for me. Calling' at the home of a friend, I notieed a bottle of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com pound. My friend endorsed it highly, and I deckled to give it a trial to if it would help me. It took patience and perse verence for I was in bad con dition, and I used Livdla E. Pink ham's Vegetable Compound for nearly five months before I was cured, but what a change, from despair to happiness, from misery to the delight ful exhilarating feeling health always brings. 1 would not change back for a thousand dollars, and your Vegetable Compound is a grand medicine. "I wish every sick woman would ! try it and be convinced. Mrs. Ida. j Haskell, Silver Lake, Mass. Worthy Vice Templar, Independent Order of Good Templars. $5000 forfett If rtglnal of mbov Ittttr pricing gtnulntnta cannot As 4MW , awi I I AN INVISIBLE ENEMY TO HEALTH Malaria is a slow poison, but the most stubborn and deeply rooted -when it takes possession of the sys tem. We breathe into the lungs the polluted, germ tainted air ; the little microbes then enter into the sys tem, and feeding upon the red corpuscles of the blood, 6oon reduce this vital, life-sustaining fluid to such a weak, watery state that the patient becomes listless, pale and anaemic, ana men tally and physically de- Amory, Kiss., Jan. 28, 1903. j i ,i ; , ,,, i About fifteen years ago I suffered with boils, pressed. Malaria may be- took a course of S. s. s., which built me up gin with slight rigors or and entirely cured me of the boils. Three years rhUlv scnMtinm follower! igo 1 aered with Malaria, and remembering cniliy sensations, iouowea how much good. S. S. 8. had, done me, I deter by fever and thirst; but mined to try it again. I am g-lad to ay that the 1 j,,n ii c results were all I could have desired. Since than gradually all parts of the I take S. 2 3. every spring, and have no Xk ol system are affected; the Malaria. Last summer I spent most of the time liver becomes torpid, and on Toibee bottom having- timber cut. dark or yellow splotches E DAIiYMPLB. appear upon the skin ; the stomach fails to properly digest the food, and there are frequent headaches, dizziness, bad taste in the mouth, constipation and a general worn-out, tired, feeling that only a sufferer from Malatia can describe. Other and more dangerous symptoms are apt to follow where this disease is neglected, such as nervous pros tration, palpitation, sleeplessness, enlarged liver, weak kidneys, boils and risings and dangerous-looking sores and abscesses. Malaria 'is all the more dangerous because of its insidious and stealthy nature. It is an invisible atmospheric poison, and the germs and microbes that are lodged in the blood are propagating and increasing in number all the while, clogging the circulation and gradually wrecking the health. xo properiy penonn weir iunctions and cany off the poisonous secretions and health-destroying matter that have been polluting the blood and clogging the circulation. S. S. S. con tains ne strong minerals, bat is strictly a vegetable remedy, a blood purifier without an equal, and the greatest of all tonics. If yoa have any symptoms of Malaria, write ns, and medical advice will be for aiahed without cost, JUS SYflFT SPECIFIC CO- ATUWTA CAm "Why Ned Rescued tbe Boy. That was a brave act!" ejaculated a Boston man, as be stood on the wharf in a little southern town and saw an old negro plunge unhesitating ly into the deepest water to save a very small boy who had stumbled and fallen from some piling. "A brave act and be is a hero, no matter how black the skin he wears!" Tbe Bostonian was foremost in the group that gathered about Uncle Ned when be climbed back on the deck with the rescued lad. "Tour son is it, old man?" be quer ied. "Or perhaps only your grand son?" . There was very fervent admiration In the down easter's tones as he put the question. "No, suh; no, suh," gurgled Uncle Ned. "Dat Il'l rascal ain't no kinnery er mine." "Then it was all the braver," ex claimed the interrogator, positively baring his head out of respect for the old man's high-born courage. "Huh," sputtered the hero, "you sho' don't think I'se durn fool 'nough to let dat boy drown when he's got every speck er my fish bait in his pocket?" Washington Post, How's This? We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward foi any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured bj Hall s Catarrn cure. p. J. CHENEY & CO.. Ptods.. Toledo. O, We, the undersigned, have known F. J. Cheney for tne last 10 years, ana Deueve mm perfectly honorable in all business transac tions and financially able to carry out any ob ligations made by their firm. Wsst & Tbcax, wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O. Walking, K inn an AMabvin, VV faoleaale Drug- Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken internally, act ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur faces of the system. Price 7oc per bottle. Bold by ail Druggists, lestimoniais ires. Hall's Family .fills are the best. Prepared fbr Emergencies. - The proprietor of a large office building, who bad a room for bis own use in one of the upper stories, was surprised one morning by the entrance of a man with a valise. "Don't you want something, sir," began the caller. "m the way of a new and Improved outfit for marking handkerchiefs, un dergarments and " "No, I don't," Interrupted the pro prietor. "How did you got up here? We don't allow peddlers or canvassers in this building." "You don't?" "That's what I said." "I saw no sign to that effect." - "Well, you'll see one the next time you come. I shall have one put up." "In that case," rejoined the man, opening his valise with alacrity, "you will need one of these." Here he displayed a neatly painted card over a foot long and nearly as wide, with this inscription, in large letters: "No Peddlers or Canvassers Allowed in This Building on Any Pretext What ever." In recognition of his caller's clever ness, genial humor and business like forethought, the owner of the building not only bought the card, but invested in one of the marking outfits. There Was One Who Did Not JCjangh. "Mark Twain" once expressed the following sentiments to a young wom an who had not smiled at a thing that he bad said during an impromptu re ception in his honor at Bryn Mawr College, to which his daughter had in vited him. All the young ladles 1 but one were in a state of great glee dur ing the humorist's address all but one had laughed heartily at every witty re mark. Just as "Twain" finished, he turned to the young woman who had not laughed, and" said, in an under tone: "You are the only sensible one here. I have not said a single amus ing thing. If it were not for the con spicuousness of it I would like to press your hand." Success. What is needed in Malarial troubles is a blood purifier and tonic. S. S. S. purifies the germ-infected blood, tones up the stom ach, improves the appetite and invigorates the entire system. It stimulates the torpid, sluggish organs of the body, enabling them ' Eat, drink and be merry, for to morrow we diet Smart Set. . judge I fine you $10. Prisoner Don't you give any discount to regular customers 7-Town Topics. "Anything new about the war?" "An unofficial dispatch has just been con firmed." Chicago Record-Herald. First Moth Have you anything on hand to-night? Second Moth Yes, I'm invited to a camphor ball. Philadel phia Record. She My face is my fortune. He (40, yet ardent) And iet me assure you, my dear, you have spent none of it New Yorker. Mother Have you taken your cold bath yet, Willie? Willie There wasn't any cold water warm enough. Chica go Daily News. "Are you still making visits to your dentist?" "No." "How's that?" "Oh, nothing; only I ran out of teeth." De troit Free Press. Bjinks Time runs on, eh? Now what makes Time run on? Bjinks The spur of the moment, I s'pose. Houston Chronicle. Benson Bought a sawmill, eh? What are you going to do with it? Jenson Bring out a new breakfast food. Town Topics. "He's what I call a 'budding gen ius.' " "Who? Bragg?" "Yes, like all budding things, he's inclined to blow." Philadelphia Press. Johnny Pa what is a diplomat? Pa Well, son, it's a man who can stretch hands across the sea without putting his foot in it, too. Exchange. What's he going to call it?" "Por trait of a lady." "But it doesn't look like her at all!" "Then he might call it 'portrait of another lady. "Life. "They have called two doctors in for consultation." "And do the doctors agree?" "I believe they have agreed upon the price." Philadelphia Ledger. Did you ever take a chance in Wall street?" "No," answered Mr. Ardluc; I put up my money several times. But I never got a chance." Washington Star. Young Author When I write far into the night I find great difficulty in getting to sleep. Friend Why don't you read over what you have written? Princeton Tiger. Mamma," said little Elsie, "we have to be very saving, don't we?" "Yes, dear." "But I was just thinking, sup pose we 'conomize on cod-liver oil!" Philadelphia Press. Friend What are you going to do with all those presents? You have no family. Smart Going to send 'em to my friends in St. Louis. I'm going to the exposition. Exchange. And do you think," he asked, "that men progress after death?" "Well," she replied, "if they don't it would al most seem useless for some of them to die." Chicago Record-Herald. Brown Don't get gay, or I'll be forced to pound a little sense into your head. Green Huh! It would take a dozen men like you to pound any sense into my head. Chicago News. "What's wit, anyway?" "Well, a good many people seem to have the idea that wit is the knack of making one person uncomfortable in the pres ence of others." Chicago Post. .Teacher So I've caught you chew ing gum, have I? Sammy No, mum; I wasn't chewln'. I was jest keepin It there Instead of in my pocket. It's so sticky. Chicago Daily Newsl "What can I do for my little boy?" asked mamma, "so that he won't have to eat between meals?" "Have the meals ticker together," replied the greedy young man. Glasgow Evening Times. Major (indignantly) What do you mean, sentinel, by sleeping at your post? If the enemy should appear you would be lost Sentinel Don't worry, major. I haven't an enemy in the whole city. Fliegende Blatter. "Are there clubs for women In this town?" asked the suffragist from the East "Certainly not," replied the gal lant Westerner; "we can hanu.e wom en without clubs." Chicago Evening Post She (bored) No, Mr. Lytely, I can never love you. I honor and respect you. I am sure you wouM make some other woman a good husband. I He Well er give me a letter of rec ommendation to my next place. Tit Bits. Eddie Aren't you sorry that you are an only child? Freddie Oh, no; I don't mind it but it's tough on pa. Eddie How so? Freddie Well, you see, I'm getting too big for him to have to take me to the circus, and there aren't any younger kids in the family for him to fall back on. Brooklyn Life. "You have been fighting again. Tom my!" "I couldn't help it, mamma. That Stapleford boy sassed me." "That was no reason for fighting. You should have remembered that 'a soft answer turneth away wrath, and given him a soft answer." "I did. I hit him with a chunk o' mud." Chicago Tribune. Why He Liked It. "Your friend looked at the lines in my palm the other evening," said Miss Elderly,- "and be said it was a great pleasure to read such a hand as mine." "Yes,'l. assented Miss ' Parafflne, "George is a great hand to read an cient history." Indianapolis Sun. LIFE UNDER WATER. Went in "Submarine Distinctness) of Bapersurface Sounds. Jules' Verne has been vindicated. His dream ship, which for generations has been voyaging under 20,000 leagues of imaginary water, has at last become a reality a submarine fact It has been demonstrated to the satisfaction of the United States navy that Captain Nemo and his fabled Nautilus have been eclipsed, or, In nautical phrase, submerged by a modern submarine tor pedo devil, the Fulton, which recently spent a comfortable night1 on the bot tom of Narragansett Bay. On tbe night following tbe speed and firing tests, it was decided that the habdtabillty test should be made by submerging the Fulton at the bottom of the bay. This was the first test ever made under naval supervision to determine whether men can live aboard a submarine boat under water as safe ly as they could in a Newport villa. Cooking utensils as well as reading matter and other articles of comfort and necessity were Installed on the Fulton during the afternoon, and at 10:43 that evening the boat was sunk, with nine men aboard. One of the first impressive features of, the experience was the distinctness with which sound was conveyed to the party under wa ter. In the small hours of the morn ing the crew were awakened by near- ine what was afterward explained to have been the Fall River liner Plym outh touching at Newport en route from Fall River to New York. Although the Plymouth did not pass within a mile of the submerged Fulton, several of the submerged party were awakened by hearing her ploughing through the water. Prior to retiring for the night the water-imprisoned company had an excellent meal, which was prepared on board, and after the boat was submerged. All the cooking as well as lighting was by electricity, and had it been necessary the boat could have been heated by the same means. The aIt reservoirs were filled to. their full capacity of forty cubic feet; and when- the Fulton rose to the surface at 11:06 a. m., after being under water for twelve hours and twenty-three min utes, there was hardly a perceptible difference between the air of the sub merged boat and that of the surface world. As a result of these tests the naval board of Inspection and survey will recommend the expenditure of the 850,000 recently appropriated by Con gress for submarine destroyers of the Fulton type. This means that the United States soon will have a flotilla of a dozen submarine devils for defen live and offensive purposes during war. New York Times. . ON THE FIELD OF WATERLOO. Uoanmeni Erected by France to Her Soldiers Who Fell There. The field of Waterloo, where the star of Napoleon I. forever set in a nisrht of gloom, has been variously marked with monuments by the na tions whose soldiers took part in that titantic struggle. No more attractive memorial has been erected, however, Ithk watekloo monument. than the new one just dedicated by France to her soldiers who fell in that conflict. The French lost about 30,000 men, while the allies English, Dutch and Germans lost 23,000. These frightful casualties throw into insig nificance the combats thus far waged in the East and which Japanese aJaiir ers would have the world be'ifeve as transcending anything preceding them. The monument is crowned by a wounded eagle, typical of the defeat France sustained in the downfall of Napoleon. English Axes at Hastings. At the battle of Hastings the corps d'elite of the English army were ac coutred with sword end shield, and in addition to this they had hung ."great hatchets on their necks, with which they could strike doughty blows." Whenever a special deed of valor is credited to an Englishman in that battle, with one exception, It is due to the ax he bears. And now what were these axes that dealt such deadly de struction on the Norman knight? As to this we are left in no doubt Time after time does Wace call them "great axes." The head alone in one instance was a foot in length. And the Bayeux tapestry out of about twenty axes represents all except some three as having long handles. Hardly ever do we find in tapestry the short ax for one hand. Will Giro Up Tribal Rale. On March 4, 1906, 85,000 red men In the Indian Territory -will give op tribal role and becom American dtizena. , " TP "What She Said. - "George, defcr," she said, with a blush, "do you know that Mr. Simpson asked me last night to be his wife?" . "Well, I like his impudence.' The idea of -proposing to an engaged young lady I What did you say to him?" - "I told him that I was very sorry in deed, but he was too late." Tidbits. FITS Permanently tamo. Tto ntaor i vuuane after first day's DseofDr.Kline'aUra&t Nam Baotuc. Send tor Fre 2 trial bottleaad I ml In H-B-H.llilM.Idai? As Kt PKIIIpKI The Chief's Mistake. Big Injun (admiringly) Me like pic tur; " . . - College Man (proudly) I thought you would. Big Injun Heap pretty squaw! College Man (wrathfully) You old heathen! that's a portrait of me when I belonged to the football team. For coughs and colds there is no better medicine than Piso's Cure for Consump tion. Price 25 cents. . .. Where Women Are Ruled. , "Are there clubs for women in this town?" asked the suffragist from the East - "Certainly not," replied the gallant Westerner. "We can handle women without clubs." Chicago Post Kee!ey lipuor-morphine-tobacccI (ure HABITS PERMANENTLY CURED I FOR FULL PARTICULARS I KCELEY IHSTITUTE.- POHTLANP.OWE, Why Is This Thus? We see the player on the plot catch every whizzing ball; high ball, low ball, grounder hot he catches one and all. But it is strange, we do declare, this self-same catching star, will chase him self forhalf a square, yet fail to catch his car. f Mothers will find Mrs. Winslcms's Soothing Syrup the best remedy to use fox their children during the teething periods . ' Avoided the Subject. Winks Did McKick. have much to cay on the subject of railroad monopoly while .you were there? Minks Well, no. You see;. just after I called, a cartman drove up with a box for him. The railroad freight on it for a hundred miles was a quarter; the cart man's charge fOr hauling it six. blocks was fifty cents. For Your Perfect Comfort. At the St. Louis Exposition, which is very severe pon the teet, remember to take along a box or two of Allen's Foot Ease, a powder fnr hot, tired, ach ing, swollen, sweating feet. Sold by all Druggists, 250. Don't Accept a Substitute. Thert are few paupers in Japan. Ev erybody works, and it is considered a disgrace to be supported by your rela tives, while you have the ability to earn your own living. .AVfcgefable Preparationfor As similating ttieFoodandBcgula ting the S toinachs andBcwels of Promotes Digestion-CheerfuP ness and Rest. Con tains neither Opium.Morphine nor Mineral. Not "NAH.C otic . JBfOfie afOkUb-SAIfUELPITCffiy fumJem Seai jdx.Sama EckU &Jtt- Jtfpermmt - Canu)d .fugar mntaywt. FUrrm A perfect Remedy for ConsBpa tlon. Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea Worms .Convulsions Jeverish ness and Loss of Sleep. Facsimile Signature of NEW YORK. EXACT COPY OF WBAE3ER. RUSSELL HIGH GRADE MACHINERY ENGINES BOILERS SAW MILLS The A. H. Averill Machinery Co., "DID'INT HURT A BIT" IS WHAT We can extract one out hurting a bit, and same day.xf you desire. Our system of crown .iinple, quick and painless. Established in Portland 17 years. The reason we advertise is to let you enow where we are. Open evenings till 9 Sundays from 9 to Phone Main 2029. ia w. a. vib WISE BROS., Dentists Ignorance is. the night of the mind, but a night without moon or itar.-Oon-fucius. " POSITIONS GUARANTEED. 15,000 forfeit placed with a National Bank to make good any failure on our part. Catalogue free. Write today. Boutoi Business Cottogo Tmcmmm, Wmmh. Columbia Collegiate, Prepara torv. Commercial and University Gr,de Boarding school for young men and boys. Box 322 University Park Station, ftrtJaad, Ore Apply for 'Catalogue. PRICES THAT TALK. Best galvanised standard wrought Iron pipe. inch, fd.90 per 100 feet. Best galvanised standard wrought iron pipe, 1 inch, 7. per 100 feet. All sizes in black and galvanised) pipe at lowest-market prices. Woou pmps capacity one barrel per minute. Si. Rubber, leather and canvas belting, hose and paokinff at wholesale prices. Write ux for your wants in the -machinery line. Irrigation plants a specialty. Relerson Machinery Co., Port land, Oregon. WANTED 200 MEN. Wages 2.25 per day. Board 1.50 per week. 50 teams $2.00 per day. Exten sive irrigation construction. Perma nent employment for good men and teams. i Deschutes irrigation and Power Company BEND, OREGON BUY FROM YOUR OBALR P. N. U. No. 38 104. I TTTJBEN writing; to advertisers picas f f mention this paper. Ill TIP! II HI For Infants and Children. The Kind You Have Always Bought Bears the Signature of or over Thirty Years tms ocwTAun lesmmr. new vonn orry. THRESHERS STACKERS Write for Catalogue and Prices PORTLAND OREGON THEY SAY or all Tonrtf eth with put in new tee Ji the and brides work is 1X1. i. r . Aua 208-"3 FBte' fZjGSm AA ' AM AW Use V . y.