Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909, August 26, 1904, Page 7, Image 7

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L ' J
No Appetite
Means loss of vitality, vigor
or tone, and is often a pre
cursor of prostrating sick
ness. This is why it is
serious. The best thing
you can do is to take the
great alterative and tonic
Hood'sSarsaparflla
Which has cored thousands
Commuting; a Sentences
Judge Gary, at a recent meeting ef
Steel Trust stockholders in Hoboken,
aid In the course of an argument:
"Your objection reminds me ef the
objection a lawyer once made to a
judge's sentence. This judge had giv
en a prisoner, convicted of second de
gree murder, thirty years solitary con
finement, whereupon the lawyer cried
out:
" 'But, your honor, my client is old.
He won't live thirty years.'
"'Well, then.' said the Judge, 'I'll
shorten his sentence to life imprison
ment, if you prefer It" New York
Tribune.
Another Crank.
"What did that new arrival want?"
asked the Recording Angel.
"lie asked me if I knew where he
could get hold of four old halos," said
St. Peter. "Lie says he wants to try
to build an automobile." Philadelphia
Press.
The total trade of Abyssinia is about
$3,000,000 per annum.
Mrs. Haskell, Worthy Vice-
Templar, Independent Order
Good Templars, of Silver Lake,
Mass., tells of her cure by the
use of Lydia E. Pinkham's Vege
table Compound.
" Dkab Mrs. Phtkham : - Four years
ago I was nearly dead with inflamma
tion and ulceration. I endured daily
untold agony, and life was a burden
to me. I bad used medicines and
washes internally and externally until
I made up my mind that there was no
relief for me. Calling' at the home of
a friend, I notieed a bottle of Lydia
E. Pinkham's Vegetable Com
pound. My friend endorsed it highly,
and I deckled to give it a trial to if
it would help me. It took patience
and perse verence for I was in bad con
dition, and I used Livdla E. Pink
ham's Vegetable Compound for
nearly five months before I was cured,
but what a change, from despair to
happiness, from misery to the delight
ful exhilarating feeling health always
brings. 1 would not change back for
a thousand dollars, and your Vegetable
Compound is a grand medicine.
"I wish every sick woman would !
try it and be convinced. Mrs. Ida. j
Haskell, Silver Lake, Mass. Worthy
Vice Templar, Independent Order of
Good Templars. $5000 forfett If rtglnal
of mbov Ittttr pricing gtnulntnta cannot As 4MW ,
awi I
I
AN INVISIBLE ENEMY
TO HEALTH
Malaria is a slow poison, but the most stubborn and
deeply rooted -when it takes possession of the sys
tem. We breathe into the lungs the polluted, germ
tainted air ; the little microbes then enter into the sys
tem, and feeding upon the red corpuscles of the blood,
6oon reduce this vital, life-sustaining fluid to such a
weak, watery state that the patient becomes listless,
pale and anaemic, ana men
tally and physically de- Amory, Kiss., Jan. 28, 1903.
j i ,i ; , ,,, i About fifteen years ago I suffered with boils,
pressed. Malaria may be- took a course of S. s. s., which built me up
gin with slight rigors or and entirely cured me of the boils. Three years
rhUlv scnMtinm follower! igo 1 aered with Malaria, and remembering
cniliy sensations, iouowea how much good. S. S. 8. had, done me, I deter
by fever and thirst; but mined to try it again. I am g-lad to ay that the
1 j,,n ii c results were all I could have desired. Since than
gradually all parts of the I take S. 2 3. every spring, and have no Xk ol
system are affected; the Malaria. Last summer I spent most of the time
liver becomes torpid, and on Toibee bottom having- timber cut.
dark or yellow splotches E DAIiYMPLB.
appear upon the skin ; the stomach fails to properly digest the food,
and there are frequent headaches, dizziness, bad taste in the mouth,
constipation and a general worn-out, tired, feeling that only a sufferer
from Malatia can describe. Other and more dangerous symptoms
are apt to follow where this disease is neglected, such as nervous pros
tration, palpitation, sleeplessness, enlarged liver, weak kidneys, boils
and risings and dangerous-looking sores and abscesses. Malaria 'is all
the more dangerous because of its insidious and stealthy nature. It is
an invisible atmospheric poison, and the germs and microbes that are
lodged in the blood are propagating and increasing in number all the
while, clogging the circulation and gradually wrecking the health.
xo properiy penonn weir iunctions and
cany off the poisonous secretions and health-destroying matter that have
been polluting the blood and clogging the circulation. S. S. S. con
tains ne strong minerals, bat is strictly a vegetable remedy, a blood
purifier without an equal, and the greatest of all tonics. If yoa have
any symptoms of Malaria, write ns, and medical advice will be for
aiahed without cost, JUS SYflFT SPECIFIC CO- ATUWTA CAm
"Why Ned Rescued tbe Boy.
That was a brave act!" ejaculated
a Boston man, as be stood on the
wharf in a little southern town and
saw an old negro plunge unhesitating
ly into the deepest water to save a
very small boy who had stumbled and
fallen from some piling. "A brave
act and be is a hero, no matter how
black the skin he wears!"
Tbe Bostonian was foremost in the
group that gathered about Uncle Ned
when be climbed back on the deck with
the rescued lad.
"Tour son is it, old man?" be quer
ied. "Or perhaps only your grand
son?" . There was very fervent admiration
In the down easter's tones as he put
the question.
"No, suh; no, suh," gurgled Uncle
Ned. "Dat Il'l rascal ain't no kinnery
er mine."
"Then it was all the braver," ex
claimed the interrogator, positively
baring his head out of respect for the
old man's high-born courage.
"Huh," sputtered the hero, "you sho'
don't think I'se durn fool 'nough to let
dat boy drown when he's got every
speck er my fish bait in his pocket?"
Washington Post,
How's This?
We offer One Hundred Dollars Reward foi
any case of Catarrh that cannot be cured bj
Hall s Catarrn cure.
p. J. CHENEY & CO.. Ptods.. Toledo. O,
We, the undersigned, have known F. J.
Cheney for tne last 10 years, ana Deueve mm
perfectly honorable in all business transac
tions and financially able to carry out any ob
ligations made by their firm.
Wsst & Tbcax, wholesale Druggists, Toledo, O.
Walking, K inn an AMabvin, VV faoleaale Drug-
Hall's Catarrh Cure Is taken internally, act
ing directly upon the blood and mucous sur
faces of the system. Price 7oc per bottle.
Bold by ail Druggists, lestimoniais ires.
Hall's Family .fills are the best.
Prepared fbr Emergencies.
- The proprietor of a large office
building, who bad a room for bis own
use in one of the upper stories, was
surprised one morning by the entrance
of a man with a valise. "Don't you
want something, sir," began the caller.
"m the way of a new and Improved
outfit for marking handkerchiefs, un
dergarments and "
"No, I don't," Interrupted the pro
prietor. "How did you got up here?
We don't allow peddlers or canvassers
in this building."
"You don't?"
"That's what I said."
"I saw no sign to that effect."
- "Well, you'll see one the next time
you come. I shall have one put up."
"In that case," rejoined the man,
opening his valise with alacrity, "you
will need one of these."
Here he displayed a neatly painted
card over a foot long and nearly as
wide, with this inscription, in large
letters:
"No Peddlers or Canvassers Allowed
in This Building on Any Pretext What
ever." In recognition of his caller's clever
ness, genial humor and business like
forethought, the owner of the building
not only bought the card, but invested
in one of the marking outfits.
There Was One Who Did Not JCjangh.
"Mark Twain" once expressed the
following sentiments to a young wom
an who had not smiled at a thing that
he bad said during an impromptu re
ception in his honor at Bryn Mawr
College, to which his daughter had in
vited him. All the young ladles 1 but
one were in a state of great glee dur
ing the humorist's address all but one
had laughed heartily at every witty re
mark. Just as "Twain" finished, he
turned to the young woman who had
not laughed, and" said, in an under
tone: "You are the only sensible one
here. I have not said a single amus
ing thing. If it were not for the con
spicuousness of it I would like to press
your hand." Success.
What is needed in Malarial troubles is
a blood purifier and tonic. S. S. S. purifies
the germ-infected blood, tones up the stom
ach, improves the appetite and invigorates
the entire system. It stimulates the torpid,
sluggish organs of the body, enabling them
' Eat, drink and be merry, for to
morrow we diet Smart Set. .
judge I fine you $10. Prisoner
Don't you give any discount to regular
customers 7-Town Topics.
"Anything new about the war?" "An
unofficial dispatch has just been con
firmed." Chicago Record-Herald.
First Moth Have you anything on
hand to-night? Second Moth Yes, I'm
invited to a camphor ball. Philadel
phia Record.
She My face is my fortune. He (40,
yet ardent) And iet me assure you,
my dear, you have spent none of it
New Yorker.
Mother Have you taken your cold
bath yet, Willie? Willie There wasn't
any cold water warm enough. Chica
go Daily News.
"Are you still making visits to your
dentist?" "No." "How's that?" "Oh,
nothing; only I ran out of teeth." De
troit Free Press.
Bjinks Time runs on, eh? Now
what makes Time run on? Bjinks
The spur of the moment, I s'pose.
Houston Chronicle.
Benson Bought a sawmill, eh?
What are you going to do with it?
Jenson Bring out a new breakfast
food. Town Topics.
"He's what I call a 'budding gen
ius.' " "Who? Bragg?" "Yes, like all
budding things, he's inclined to blow."
Philadelphia Press.
Johnny Pa what is a diplomat? Pa
Well, son, it's a man who can stretch
hands across the sea without putting
his foot in it, too. Exchange.
What's he going to call it?" "Por
trait of a lady." "But it doesn't look
like her at all!" "Then he might call
it 'portrait of another lady. "Life.
"They have called two doctors in for
consultation." "And do the doctors
agree?" "I believe they have agreed
upon the price." Philadelphia Ledger.
Did you ever take a chance in Wall
street?" "No," answered Mr. Ardluc;
I put up my money several times. But
I never got a chance." Washington
Star.
Young Author When I write far
into the night I find great difficulty in
getting to sleep. Friend Why don't
you read over what you have written?
Princeton Tiger.
Mamma," said little Elsie, "we have
to be very saving, don't we?" "Yes,
dear." "But I was just thinking, sup
pose we 'conomize on cod-liver oil!"
Philadelphia Press.
Friend What are you going to do
with all those presents? You have no
family. Smart Going to send 'em to
my friends in St. Louis. I'm going to
the exposition. Exchange.
And do you think," he asked, "that
men progress after death?" "Well,"
she replied, "if they don't it would al
most seem useless for some of them to
die." Chicago Record-Herald.
Brown Don't get gay, or I'll be
forced to pound a little sense into your
head. Green Huh! It would take a
dozen men like you to pound any sense
into my head. Chicago News.
"What's wit, anyway?" "Well, a
good many people seem to have the
idea that wit is the knack of making
one person uncomfortable in the pres
ence of others." Chicago Post.
.Teacher So I've caught you chew
ing gum, have I? Sammy No, mum;
I wasn't chewln'. I was jest keepin
It there Instead of in my pocket. It's
so sticky. Chicago Daily Newsl
"What can I do for my little boy?"
asked mamma, "so that he won't have
to eat between meals?" "Have the
meals ticker together," replied the
greedy young man. Glasgow Evening
Times.
Major (indignantly) What do you
mean, sentinel, by sleeping at your
post? If the enemy should appear you
would be lost Sentinel Don't worry,
major. I haven't an enemy in the
whole city. Fliegende Blatter.
"Are there clubs for women In this
town?" asked the suffragist from the
East "Certainly not," replied the gal
lant Westerner; "we can hanu.e wom
en without clubs." Chicago Evening
Post
She (bored) No, Mr. Lytely, I can
never love you. I honor and respect
you. I am sure you wouM make some
other woman a good husband. I
He Well er give me a letter of rec
ommendation to my next place. Tit
Bits. Eddie Aren't you sorry that you are
an only child? Freddie Oh, no; I don't
mind it but it's tough on pa. Eddie
How so? Freddie Well, you see, I'm
getting too big for him to have to
take me to the circus, and there aren't
any younger kids in the family for him
to fall back on. Brooklyn Life.
"You have been fighting again. Tom
my!" "I couldn't help it, mamma.
That Stapleford boy sassed me." "That
was no reason for fighting. You should
have remembered that 'a soft answer
turneth away wrath, and given him a
soft answer." "I did. I hit him with
a chunk o' mud." Chicago Tribune.
Why He Liked It.
"Your friend looked at the lines in
my palm the other evening," said Miss
Elderly,- "and be said it was a great
pleasure to read such a hand as mine."
"Yes,'l. assented Miss ' Parafflne,
"George is a great hand to read an
cient history." Indianapolis Sun.
LIFE UNDER WATER.
Went in "Submarine Distinctness) of
Bapersurface Sounds.
Jules' Verne has been vindicated. His
dream ship, which for generations has
been voyaging under 20,000 leagues of
imaginary water, has at last become
a reality a submarine fact It has
been demonstrated to the satisfaction
of the United States navy that Captain
Nemo and his fabled Nautilus have
been eclipsed, or, In nautical phrase,
submerged by a modern submarine tor
pedo devil, the Fulton, which recently
spent a comfortable night1 on the bot
tom of Narragansett Bay.
On tbe night following tbe speed and
firing tests, it was decided that the
habdtabillty test should be made by
submerging the Fulton at the bottom
of the bay. This was the first test
ever made under naval supervision to
determine whether men can live aboard
a submarine boat under water as safe
ly as they could in a Newport villa.
Cooking utensils as well as reading
matter and other articles of comfort
and necessity were Installed on the
Fulton during the afternoon, and at
10:43 that evening the boat was sunk,
with nine men aboard. One of the first
impressive features of, the experience
was the distinctness with which sound
was conveyed to the party under wa
ter. In the small hours of the morn
ing the crew were awakened by near-
ine what was afterward explained to
have been the Fall River liner Plym
outh touching at Newport en route
from Fall River to New York.
Although the Plymouth did not pass
within a mile of the submerged Fulton,
several of the submerged party were
awakened by hearing her ploughing
through the water. Prior to retiring
for the night the water-imprisoned
company had an excellent meal, which
was prepared on board, and after the
boat was submerged. All the cooking
as well as lighting was by electricity,
and had it been necessary the boat
could have been heated by the same
means.
The aIt reservoirs were filled to. their
full capacity of forty cubic feet; and
when- the Fulton rose to the surface at
11:06 a. m., after being under water
for twelve hours and twenty-three min
utes, there was hardly a perceptible
difference between the air of the sub
merged boat and that of the surface
world.
As a result of these tests the naval
board of Inspection and survey will
recommend the expenditure of the
850,000 recently appropriated by Con
gress for submarine destroyers of the
Fulton type. This means that the
United States soon will have a flotilla
of a dozen submarine devils for defen
live and offensive purposes during war.
New York Times. .
ON THE FIELD OF WATERLOO.
Uoanmeni Erected by France to Her
Soldiers Who Fell There.
The field of Waterloo, where the
star of Napoleon I. forever set in a
nisrht of gloom, has been variously
marked with monuments by the na
tions whose soldiers took part in that
titantic struggle. No more attractive
memorial has been erected, however,
Ithk watekloo monument.
than the new one just dedicated by
France to her soldiers who fell in that
conflict. The French lost about 30,000
men, while the allies English, Dutch
and Germans lost 23,000. These
frightful casualties throw into insig
nificance the combats thus far waged
in the East and which Japanese aJaiir
ers would have the world be'ifeve as
transcending anything preceding them.
The monument is crowned by a
wounded eagle, typical of the defeat
France sustained in the downfall of
Napoleon.
English Axes at Hastings.
At the battle of Hastings the corps
d'elite of the English army were ac
coutred with sword end shield, and in
addition to this they had hung ."great
hatchets on their necks, with which
they could strike doughty blows."
Whenever a special deed of valor is
credited to an Englishman in that
battle, with one exception, It is due to
the ax he bears. And now what were
these axes that dealt such deadly de
struction on the Norman knight? As to
this we are left in no doubt Time
after time does Wace call them "great
axes." The head alone in one instance
was a foot in length. And the Bayeux
tapestry out of about twenty axes
represents all except some three as
having long handles. Hardly ever do
we find in tapestry the short ax for
one hand.
Will Giro Up Tribal Rale.
On March 4, 1906, 85,000 red men In
the Indian Territory -will give op tribal
role and becom American dtizena. ,
" TP
"What She Said.
- "George, defcr," she said, with a blush,
"do you know that Mr. Simpson asked
me last night to be his wife?"
. "Well, I like his impudence.' The idea
of -proposing to an engaged young lady I
What did you say to him?" -
"I told him that I was very sorry in
deed, but he was too late." Tidbits.
FITS
Permanently tamo. Tto ntaor i vuuane
after first day's DseofDr.Kline'aUra&t Nam
Baotuc. Send tor Fre 2 trial bottleaad I ml In
H-B-H.llilM.Idai? As Kt PKIIIpKI
The Chief's Mistake.
Big Injun (admiringly) Me like pic
tur; " . . -
College Man (proudly) I thought you
would.
Big Injun Heap pretty squaw!
College Man (wrathfully) You old
heathen! that's a portrait of me when I
belonged to the football team.
For coughs and colds there is no better
medicine than Piso's Cure for Consump
tion. Price 25 cents. .
.. Where Women Are Ruled. ,
"Are there clubs for women in this
town?" asked the suffragist from the
East -
"Certainly not," replied the gallant
Westerner. "We can handle women
without clubs." Chicago Post
Kee!ey lipuor-morphine-tobacccI
(ure HABITS PERMANENTLY CURED I
FOR FULL PARTICULARS I
KCELEY IHSTITUTE.- POHTLANP.OWE,
Why Is This Thus?
We see the player on the plot catch
every whizzing ball; high ball, low ball,
grounder hot he catches one and all.
But it is strange, we do declare, this
self-same catching star, will chase him
self forhalf a square, yet fail to catch
his car. f
Mothers will find Mrs. Winslcms's Soothing
Syrup the best remedy to use fox their children
during the teething periods .
' Avoided the Subject.
Winks Did McKick. have much to
cay on the subject of railroad monopoly
while .you were there?
Minks Well, no. You see;. just after
I called, a cartman drove up with a box
for him. The railroad freight on it for a
hundred miles was a quarter; the cart
man's charge fOr hauling it six. blocks
was fifty cents.
For Your Perfect Comfort.
At the St. Louis Exposition, which is very severe
pon the teet, remember to take along a box or two
of Allen's Foot Ease, a powder fnr hot, tired, ach
ing, swollen, sweating feet. Sold by all Druggists,
250. Don't Accept a Substitute.
Thert are few paupers in Japan. Ev
erybody works, and it is considered a
disgrace to be supported by your rela
tives, while you have the ability to earn
your own living.
.AVfcgefable Preparationfor As
similating ttieFoodandBcgula
ting the S toinachs andBcwels of
Promotes Digestion-CheerfuP
ness and Rest. Con tains neither
Opium.Morphine nor Mineral.
Not "NAH.C otic .
JBfOfie afOkUb-SAIfUELPITCffiy
fumJem Seai
jdx.Sama
EckU &Jtt-
Jtfpermmt -
Canu)d .fugar
mntaywt. FUrrm
A perfect Remedy for ConsBpa
tlon. Sour Stomach, Diarrhoea
Worms .Convulsions Jeverish
ness and Loss of Sleep.
Facsimile Signature of
NEW YORK.
EXACT COPY OF WBAE3ER.
RUSSELL HIGH GRADE MACHINERY
ENGINES
BOILERS
SAW
MILLS
The A. H. Averill Machinery Co.,
"DID'INT HURT A BIT"
IS WHAT
We can extract one
out hurting a bit, and
same day.xf you desire.
Our system of crown
.iinple, quick and painless.
Established in Portland 17 years.
The reason we advertise is to let you
enow where we are.
Open evenings till 9 Sundays from 9 to
Phone Main 2029.
ia w. a. vib
WISE BROS., Dentists
Ignorance is. the night of the mind,
but a night without moon or itar.-Oon-fucius.
"
POSITIONS GUARANTEED.
15,000 forfeit placed with a National Bank to
make good any failure on our part. Catalogue
free. Write today.
Boutoi Business Cottogo
Tmcmmm, Wmmh.
Columbia
Collegiate, Prepara
torv. Commercial and
University Gr,de
Boarding school for young men and boys.
Box 322 University Park Station, ftrtJaad, Ore
Apply for 'Catalogue.
PRICES THAT TALK.
Best galvanised standard wrought Iron pipe.
inch, fd.90 per 100 feet. Best galvanised
standard wrought iron pipe, 1 inch, 7. per
100 feet. All sizes in black and galvanised)
pipe at lowest-market prices. Woou pmps
capacity one barrel per minute. Si. Rubber,
leather and canvas belting, hose and paokinff
at wholesale prices. Write ux for your wants
in the -machinery line. Irrigation plants a
specialty. Relerson Machinery Co., Port
land, Oregon.
WANTED
200 MEN.
Wages 2.25 per day. Board 1.50 per
week. 50 teams $2.00 per day. Exten
sive irrigation construction. Perma
nent employment for good men and
teams. i
Deschutes irrigation and Power
Company
BEND, OREGON
BUY
FROM YOUR OBALR
P. N. U.
No. 38 104.
I
TTTJBEN writing; to advertisers picas
f f
mention this paper.
Ill
TIP!
II HI
For Infants and Children.
The Kind You Have
Always Bought
Bears the
Signature
of
or over
Thirty Years
tms ocwTAun lesmmr. new vonn orry.
THRESHERS
STACKERS
Write for Catalogue
and Prices
PORTLAND
OREGON
THEY SAY
or all Tonrtf eth with
put in new tee Ji the
and brides work is
1X1. i. r . Aua
208-"3 FBte' fZjGSm
AA
' AM
AW
Use
V . y.