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About The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886 | View Entire Issue (July 13, 1883)
:V, T" ' :" -v a V - Is THE COLUMBIAN, PUBLISHED EVERY FRIDAY AT 8T. IIELEN3, COLUMBIA CO., OR., jrr 2S. G. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor. THE COLUMBIAN. PUBLISHED EVERY TKIDAT., at ' -" y ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO.,OIU E. G. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor. J Subscription Ratks: Ad vebtzsixo Ratxs : One year, la advance.. Six months. Three mouths, " .12 00 - l CO . 60 YOL. in. ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON: JULY 13, 183. NO. 49. One sonar (10 lines) first Insert! n-l. .tJ 09 aaoa suDseqaent lnstruon. ... 1 00 m TFT. TTh -L iJL 11 iry TI3 SAFE ON THE OTHER SIDE. There's wrong side, and a right s'de, There' i a false side, and a true: Tbre is no halfway at work or play. Ton must choose bctweeu ttie two; And when you find you're in the wrocg. And fam would seek a guide. All doubt dismiss reme o o.-r this 'lis sale on tha other aidtl Tear not to make a crossing, Tha bridge is auoch aod ktrong: Though biilowa wreath and foam beneath. Behind jou lies the wrong; lor never yet waa mortal man Shipwrect ed or cat away By oeekinr light to find tnt right. And making no delay. The path you tread sennas fiirtr. Its pltfaljs covered oVr With rosy bloom, that sheds perfume Than do'li the other shore. Whoso Alpire r ctt tower mountains high. And little vales d:vil. Where men xnut o imD ant head my rbyine- 'Tia safe on the other side But should they find yon climbing With alpenstock in haud. Each rugged height of tru v and rfght, Cp. up where tne strong men atud. No oul will ever say to you. Of all the true and tritd. In looking bacx on wrong's old track. 'lis iafi on the other side. There's a right tide, and a wrong aide, Tnere's a lain? s.de and a true; Th-re is no hallway at work r play. You mutt chcose between the t wo Mrs. M. A. Kidder. "Sam's Strawberries; or the 'W.C.TAS.' It was Jce Pert ins that first proposed it there wasn't a boy in Riverside who wculd have thought of it. Indeed, it required a good deal of talking on Joe's part before they coald be coaxed into it;, and I believe, even to the last moment, they would have been glad to have given it up, but they were afraid of Joe's ridicule. Joe was not a Riverside boy; he was from the city. It was whispered among the elder people that his father had sent him up here in the country, to nis un cle's, because he was bo wild at home. At any rate he was not a good boy. You would know that to look at him. And he was not only bad, but he was mean about it; for he always tried to get out it; it mattered nothing to him in some one innocent suffered for his wrong doing. But, somebow or other the boys were perfectly carried away with him at first, partly, perhaps, with his bold, dashing ways.partly with his stories of city life what he and the fellows of his set did at home aud a great deal, I am afraid, be cause he pleased their vanity by telling them repeatedly how superior they were to most country boys. He had not been there a month before every Riverside boy had invested in cigarettes, and was racticicg smokiLg on the sly, and ooked in unfeigned amazement at Joe, to see him puff so unconcernedly at his cigar when the cigarette was more than enon h rthra . T! W , ioK the j adbpid Je'at style or'tamTflgvHe nsea a good deal of slang, some of it pretty rough and coarse, and sometimes, I am sorry to say, he used sometbirg worse than slang. And the boys tried to be as cityfiedas possible. It was a system of manliness, accord ing to Joe's creed, to tease and torment anything or anybody that could not de fend themselves. "Girls were well enough," he said, 'for little boys to play with, but a fellow didn't want to be bothered by them; and, besides, they hadn't time for non sense" said "nonsense" being any po lite attention to one so unfortunate as to be a girl. One of the first things he did was to organize the Wild Cat Club. He made himself chief, planning all the mischief, and a pretty poor sort of mischief some of it was, too; but he kept out of real ork in it, so if they should bo oaught he would be in no danger. "What an indignation meeting there was among the girls when they found the boys had a secret society, and had never asked them to join. It must be broken up, or they invited to join one of the two thev decided at the very outset; but it was rather a difficult matter to de cide how to accomplish their desire.. They got up a charade party at Annie Parker'sthey used to have so much fun Ihere but the boys did not come because Joe was not invited, and had appointed a club meeting as soon as he heard ot it. Then they, the girls, proposed apicnio at Dr. Darles grove, but the boys vetoed the subject on the spot. They even or ganized an opposition society in hopes of rousing the boys' curiosity, wore enormous badges, looked as though pos sebsing wisdom far beyond Solomon, and spoke in mysterious language, all to no effect, for not a single boy appeared to notice anything. But just as the girls had exhausted all their resources, and wero alout in de spair, the boys began to tire of it them selves, and Joe saw with alarm that he was losing ground rapidly, and that un less he did something speedily his club would desert him. Then it was he thought of Sam Stebbin's strawberries. The club was holding session in Grandfather Knox's old barn; it was out of the way and unused, so they had taken possession of it. "I say," said Joe, noting with anxiety the listless look of the club, "Sam Steb bin'a strawberries are ripening fast; gues he means to pick a lot for market day after to-morrow." Now as Sam's strawberries were always ripe earlier than any one else's in the vicinity, and as he raised them for the market, Joe's remark did not make much stir. "Suppose we have some fun out of them, boys," he continued. "I should like to know how on earth 7ou exnect to get any fun out of Sam's berrifcs?" said Will Peter, raising him 3tf elf on his elbows ond staring at Joe with astonishment. "Oh," replied Joe carelessly, "we could get the start of Sam a little, and have a strawberry festival for a change; that wouldn't be bad. I'm uncommon fond of strawberries. And Just imagine the sport when Sam finds his berries all picked and gone." Solemn stillness reigned. Not a boy dared to come out boldly and refuse to haye anything to do with it, lest Joe should call them girl babies with no spirit at all, all behind the times, regu lar milksops; that would be dreadful And yet not one of them liked the plan. "We boys at home have done such things lots of times; Us piles of fun, going out at night so, and having to take care not to be seen. Of course," Joe added loftily, "after Sam has had his scare we can take up a contribution and pay him well. ' That sounded better perhaps Joe was not so bad, after all; they felt ashamed to think they had suspected him; there would be fun getting them, and wouldn't Sam make sport for them, it was such sport to see him angry. He was a half-foolish fellow, who lived by himself at the farther end of the town, aud raised a few small fruits and early vegetables. The strawberries were his particular pets; he watched over them as anxiously and tenderly as a mother over a child no strawberries were so early, so large, or so nice an his. Left to himself, Sam was quiet and 'harmless; but if molested, or vexed in any way, he was wild almost beyond control. What could excite him so as to lose his first strawberries? How he would fairly rave! As Joe suggested, they would make it all right afterward. ' So they laid their plans for the next night, or rather Joe planned for them and they silently consented. Tbey were to go to the lot one at a time, lest if seen in a band ! they would be suspected and they were to meet at the oM barn at ten o'clock for a spread. Having settled it, they broke up early and went their several ways, with a tjuilty look about them so soon. It was noticeable that the entire club was very quiet the next day, and be traved considerable agitation if suddenly or unexpectedly addressed, j "I wish we were out of it, said Hal Winters just before night. "I believe . . ' a a we re going to get caugnt, and ior an Joe says, I can't see such a terrible amount of fun in it. I wouldn't tell him so, though, for he'd say we were a pack of thick-headedootry loons." V . , - . . 1 il AJ A xiignc came awast, anuaiso tua urae 10 put their plans into execution. Ned Ashley was the first one to visit the strawberry plot. He came from th -north, and crept along in the shade cl the bushes. Everything was quiet. Sam's house was shut; he was a firm believer in the early to bed early to rise doctrine, es pecially in strawberry time. Further more, his room was on the other side of the house, so there was no danger of his aeeing them, and there were no near neighbors. Ned came up a little more boldly as he saw how disturbed it seemed, and he went to the portion of the lot assigned to him. "Jerusalem crickets! he said aloud, with a low whistle of surprise which he checked instantly, after an astonished survey of not only his portion but the whole lot. Then ' with a hasty glauce over bis shoulder toward Sam's house, hejvent awftjmnnh faster .than he had corned" 'j;- : Tom Wells was the next oue; he came from the south road, so he had not seen Ned. He, too, turned and went away rapidly after a few minutes' survey. So one after another they came and went empty-banded, for, do you know, in the whole lot, wLich at seven : o'clock had been so full of nice red berries, there was not a ripe berry to be seen, not a single one. ' It was just ten o'clock when the band of Wild Cats a very appropriate name for them in their present state of mind crept slowly and shamefacedly up to ward the old barn. "What does it mean?" they questioned anxionsly of each other. Had Sam changed his mind and picked at night instead of early in the morning? But he never ceuld have picked them all himself in an hour. What could it mean? Were they suspected? They opened the barn door and went in, only to stop be fore they were hardly over the' threshold in fear and amazement. From every corner there appeared a a girl there was Lou Bently, just be yond was Kitty Carroll, over in that cor ner Carrie Hyde, in another Ned Willis they were all there, in one place and another. "How do you do? We are the W. C. T.'a, and we've come to give you a sur prise party. We knew you met here, but we began to be afraid that you were not coming to-night. Come in, do." Wasn't it dreadf ul. ! "I declare," said Ned Ashley, after wards. "I should have thought I was making money if I could have sold my self for a cent." The girls flew about merrily, paying no attention to the utterly crest-fallen, anxious faces of their guests; nor did any one notice that Joe took the first oppor tunity that presented itself, of slipping out of the door and away. ; "I'm not going to get caught in any such trap," he said to himself. "Now, boys," said Lou Bently, "if you will make yourself useful a few minutes, we will in our turn serve you; just open the doors, please, so we can see." j The boys did as requested, and lo! and behold! in one corner stood a bench heavily laden with plates of cake, while at each end stood a large dish of straw berries. The Wild Cats were fairly dumb with phaneand surprise. If only the floor would open and let them drop into China, what a relief it would be! But the W. C. T.'s, whatever that stood for, chatted away as pleasantly as could be, while they served themselves and guests. "Sam has the best berries of any one, doesn't he?" said Nell Willis, as she passed her plate to be re filled. "Do you know," she west on, looking inno cently toward the boys, "papa says Mr. Kent said if any one stole Sam's berries he'd find them, sure as could be, and have them arrested." "But then," she added "there is no danger, for no one ' around here would think of it, I know." "Not a Wild Cat 'ooked up or made any reply. "Now," said the president of the W. C . T.'s, after the feast was over, "haven't we had a good time?" "Slendid," answered the Wild Cats in unison, as cheerfully as could be ex pected in their state of mind. "Then what is the use of running two clubs. Why not unite?" I "Why not?" echoed the Wild Cats. The girls never told how much they knew, or how they came to know at all. But little bv little the bovs fathered ' that they had discovered the main part of the plot, an3 under the came of "W. C. T.'s" Wild Cat Tamers, the boys winced a little at that had resolved to take matters into their own hands very successfully, as we have seen. Joe was never invited to join the new club. In fact, he did not stay for an in vitation; for, after a short conversation with bis uncle, the next day he packed up his things and left Jtr home. The place was too slow for him, he said. ' Scene in an English Court. 1 A few days since a man of high re spectability was tried on the charge of forging a will, in which it was discovered he had an indirect ' interest to a large amount. Samuel Warren, the celebrated author of the "Diary of a Physician,'" etc., was associated with-the prosecuting attorney, and the case was tried before Lord Denman. The prisoner being arraigned, and the formalities gone through witl, the pros ecutor, placing his thumb over the seal, held up the will and demanded of the prisoner if he had seen the testator sign the instrument; to which he promptly answered he had. "And did you sign it at his request, as subscribing witness?" "I did." "Was it sealed with red or black wax?" "With red wax." "Did you see him seal it with red wax?" "I did." "Where was the testator when he signed and sealed this will?" "In his bed." "Pray, how long a pieoe of wax did he use?" "About three or four inohes long." "Who gave testator this piece of wax?' "I did." "Where did you get it?" "From the drawer of his desk." "How did yon light that piece of wax?" "With a candle." "Where did that candle come from?" "I got it out of a cupboard in his ro m." "How long was that piece of candle?" "Perhaps four or five inches long." "Who lit that piece of candle?" "I lit it." "With what?" "With a match." "Where did you get that match?" "On the mantel-shelf in the room." Here Warren paused and fixed his large, deep-blue eyes upon the prisoner. He held the will above his head, his thumb still resting on the seal, and said, in a solemn, measured tone: "Now, sir, upon your solemn oath, you saw testator sign that will sign it in his had a his request you ffd' v as a subscribing witness you saw him Sjeal it with red wax a piece of wax, two, three, or four inches long; he lit the wax with a piece of candle which you procured foi him from a cupboard; you lit that candle with a match which you found on the mantel-shelf?" "I did." "Once more, sir, upon your solemn oath, you did?" I did.' "My Lord," exclaimed the triumphant attorney, "It's a wafer. The Book-keeper. To the ordinary observer there is very little of romance in a day-book and ledger, or in the lives of those who pour over the - monotonous columns of their pages.. The utter commonplace charac ter of a book-keeper's life is apparent to no one more than himself. So long as accqunt books tell the truth, they are the prosiest of ail prosy human tomes, and so long as the accountant is honest he is in nowise a hero, never acquires notori ety in fact, scarcely maintains any posi tive individuality. When books or their keepers appear in court, or are arraigned at the bar of pub lic opinion, then not only are the recon dite intricacies of a set of books made more mysterious, but the brains behind them loom into a proud or ignoble prom inence exceeding that of the most con spicuous politician. And yet, some of the greatest novelists in the English lan guage have made romantic and have clothed with rare interest the account ants of their tales. One of the pleasantest pictures in "Nicholas Nickleby" is presented to the reader in the counting-room of the Cheerble Bros., with Tim Linkwater en throned as head bookkeeper. The happy and confidential relations of headship and subordination therein depicted indi cate the possible amenities and charities of business relations between the em ployer and the employed. The novelist furnishes us with nearly every phase of that life which the bookkeeper lives, and presents vividly the diverse characters which are either sought or manage to in gratiate themselves into the necessities, secrets and ambitions of business men who must confide in their subordinates. The pride in a master's house and bus iness, solicitude for the welfare and bus iness prosperity of the sou and heir what a touching pioture has Scott fur nished in old Owen! A rascally capital ist, with a subservient but honest clerk, who eventually f snakes a wicked master in order to assure justice to a defrauded boy, are graphically portrayed in Ralph Nickleby and Newman Noggs, while Uriah Heep stands as the impersonation of insinuating villainy, using all his rare but slimy energies in defrauding and ruining his best friend. But the ro mantio phrases of an accountant's life are exceptional and abnormal. Romance has no place in a set of books, and should never appear in conjunction with the man who keeps them. The life of a bookkeeper is an emi nently respectable one. He has to do with facts, and his every figure is shaped in strictest accordance with principles of order and truth in the recording of facts. Cincinnati Saturday Night. While more boys are born than girls it is a singular fact that there is a sur plus of female population. It is easily accounted for. Fooling with toy pistols, playing base ball and falling off cherry trees, all boyish pastimes, are six times more hazardous than wsaring corsets and jumping the rope 500 times in one inning. The French Judicial System. To begin with the lowest rung of the ladder: It is pretty generally known that the departments of France are di vided into arrondissements, which again are divided into cantons, each consisting of a certain number of communes. At the chief town of each canton is stationed a "jage de paix," whose duties are ju dicial, extra-judicial aud administrative He corresponds only in name to our jus tice of the peace; and his first duty. wnicu. is known as conciliation, is to try and put a stop to litigation at its ori gin by making "peace" between dispu tants. He also adjudicates eivil causes up to 4, or, subject to appeal, up to C0. No costs are inenrred inhis court. He is ex officio president of all 'family councils which deal with the affairs of minors, af fixes and removes the seals upon prop erty in case of death or bankruptcy, and from time to time conducts local admin istrative inquiries arising out or pro posed legislative measures. He is as sisted by a registrar. The courts next above the "juges de paix" are the tribunals of thearrocdisse mets or of first instance, of which there are 3G9. The strength of these tribunals varies according to the importance of the locality from one court in 203 places to four in Lyons, Marseilles and Bordeaux, and eleven in Paris. The smallest tribunals have a president and and two judges, the number of judges gradually increasing until in the tribunal of the Seine, with its eleven courts, there are a president, eleven vice-presidents, eeventy-two judges and fifteen deputies, ("suppleants") ready to take their places. Elsewhere each tribunal has three "sup pleants." There are besides a number of registrars and clerks ("greffiers" and "commis-greffiers"). One or more of the judges of each tribunal are charged with the duties of "judge destruction" in criminal cases that is to say, with the preliminary investigation which takes place in England before a magistrate. There are twenty of these juJges in Paris. The State is represented at each tribunal by a procureur (now called "de la Republique") who has one or several deputies ("substitutes"). There are as many as twenty six of these deputies in Paris. The procureurs discharge the duties of our public prosecutor and counsel for the crown, and the word an swers to "attorney" in our title of attorney-general. -Indeed, the French avoues or attorneys were formerly called pro cureurs. These representatives of the state are technically called the "par quet" a term which is a diminutive of the word "pare," and was at first applied to the place where they sit the little park, inclosure, or reserve. Higher up in the organization are the courts of appeal, of which there are twenty rix. Eaou cojrthas a first pres ident and at least twenty councilors, as the judges of appeal are called, "and is divided into three separate chambers the civil court, the court of criminal ap peal, and a third which deals with cases ra'sed by the procureur-general as pub lic prosecutor. The latter is assisted in his i auctions by several advocate-gen-ercls erd subJ-itutes. At the epex of the French judicial sys tem is t'je Cour de Cassation which we might perhaps call the court of reversal siLl'ug in Paris at the Palais de jus tice. Its firot duty is to deal with vices o! piocedure in lower courts, and to remove errors by remitting cases for trial to the same court that first tried them or to another, as it sees fit. It never goes into the merits of a case or tries one itself. It is divided into three separate courts that of requests, a civil and criminal court and consists of a first president, three presidents, and forty-five councilors appointed by the minister of justice. Eleven is the quorum. The Cour de Cassation has also hitherto had disciplinary power over the judges of all other courts, even to suspension or dismissal, but the measure now .before the chambers, and which is certain to be car ried, creates a "Superior Coun cil," which will take bver all such powers, and will also deal with the re moval of judges. This change has been rendered necessary by the laws carried last year. Previously, First Presidents, Presidents, Councilors and even judges of first instance, when once appointed, were irremovable; but the Republican Oovernment found the old traditions of the "noblesse de robe" too independent for them. The judges were not compli ant eaough; and they will now be re movable by the Superior Council on the application of the Minister of Justice. This Council will be formed of the First President of the Cour de Cassation, four of its Councilors elected among them selves, and ten more of that body chosen half by the senate and half by the cham ber of deputies. The salaries of the judges are also re vised, and they are divided' into three classes. Presidents and procur ers will receive from 220 to 400 a yearjvice presidents,180 to 280:judge d'instruction, ;1G0 to 260; judges, 144 to 240, the procureur's substi tutes, 120 to 200; and registrars and their clerks, 80 to 120. These amounts are an increase upon the pre ent scale; and perhaps the peculiarities in this system which most strike an Eng lish observer are the extraordinary num ber of judges and the extreme smallness of their salaries. St. James Magazine. Sunday With the Lion Tamer. "Lalla Rookh is seventy-five years old and Sampson is over 100," said Qeorge Conklin, the lion tamer, yesterday after noon at the fair grounds, where Cole's circus has been wintering. "Jim, tie 'em loose and we'll take 'em into the ring and show the Globe-Democrat reporter how to break elephants. Lalla Rookh only came back to me three weeks ago. und she's a little cranky from the acci dent which happened to the Kiralfy show. You remember that about a month ago on leaving Cincinnati there was a collision in which four train men lost their lives, and Lalla bad her head pro jected through a freight car, which blow knocked her silly, but she will soon be all rieht I guess. That tackling there I use to teach them to stand on their beads. ' I make Tom lie down aud my assistants hitch that chain and pulley to his hind legs, after which another elephant is put j in harness and hauls Tom's ftet up into j the air and makes him balance on his head. All the elephants shed their milk teeth when about twelve years old. Here's one that Lizzie least about two weeks ago. Sampson is1 a heavier ele phant than Jumbo, but hot quite as tall. He is, however, the largest Asiatic ele phant in America to-day. I come of a circus stock. My brother, Tete Conklin, is a clown, John is a 4Hercules," or can non ball manipulator, and my father was a tamer of wild beasts." I "Is your life insured j 'f "No: the age its will never bother me, and those to whom I have applied for in surance refer me to the company, who in varibly decline the risk. Bitten! Oh, yes; I'm scarred all over!, but lam not maimed, as youisee. I got the two lion cubs up here all right on Thursday: and Bnan oegin to periorm inem as soon as pcrsible, but I'm afraid that fellow with his eye partly scratched out ain't going to irate much of a trick lion. I put him a ! in reeve witn tnose two old lions yester day, a icr putting a collar and chain on him, r:d you oughter seen the wool fir for ten mi-rates, but he got enough and is qtre'rr. now." I Mr. C jnklin then opened the door of the iTea and entered, after jokingly in- vil:nj f e reporter to joih him. He per formed C'-ie older Uods, placing bis head in tl:e!r rr oaths, bat the creen fellow who Je.'t E-i-nd but three weeks ago would ccep rooe of his overtures and growled ominous' v. j "Can a Z3brabe broken to tricks" "Yes. but we don't do I it, because the people coald noi be made believe other thru Oat ii was a painted trick, mule. Ostrches can be broken, and Barnum will have boys ride them around the ring for races. The rhinoceros, which losl iti horn a few weeks ago, is sporting anot'ier, you see. I'm going to teach that hppopotamus to stand on a pedestal and uarce, but he's good now for noth ing bat showing his lungs through that big jaw of his. The most iniereiting an imal here is that kangaroo, which has a drn.hl 3r six months old that she carries in her pouch yet. Look! down in there and you will see the young one's head KticL'ag out, and the little eyes looking shyly at you. The baby j kangaroo will stay :n the pouch two months longer funny, ain't it ? I lost my sea lion a few weeks ago; it committed suicide by drowning." "How?" "Laid down on the platform and put its head in the water till it died. Yon see, it bad neart disease and was weary of life. Sea lions are often afflicted with heart disease." St. Louis Globe-Demo crat. I Proposals In Novels." Nancy, Miss Broughton's heroine. tells her middle-aged wooerU amoug other things, that she accepts him, because "I did think it would be a nice thing for the boys; but I like you myself, besides." After this ardent canlession he "kissed her with a sort of diffidence." Many men would have preferred to go out and kiok the bovs. I Mr. Rochester's proposal to Jane Eyre should be read in the1 works ot Bret Harte and of Miss Bronte. We own that we prefer Bret Harte's Mr. Rawjester, who wearily ran the poker through his hair, and wiped his feet on the dress of his beloved. Ev3n in the original au thority, Mr. Rochester conducted him self rather like a wild beast. . "He ground his teeth," he seemed to devour Miss Eyre with his "flaming glance. iuiss avyre Denaved witn, sense, "i re tired to the door." . Proposals of this desperate and homicidal character are probably rare in real life or at least out lunatic anylums. To be sure Mr. Roches ter's house was a kind of lunatic asylum, in which he kept Mrs. Rochester, unfor tunately insane. Adam Bede's proposal to Dinah was a very thoughtful, earnest proposal. John Ingleesant himself oould not have been less like that victo rious rascal, Tom Jones. Colonel Jack, on the other hand, "used no great cere mony." But Colonel Jack, like the wo man of Samaria in the j Scottish minis ter's sermon, "had enjoyed a large and rich matrimonial experience," and went straight to the point, being married the very day of his successful wooing. Some one in a story of Mr. j Willie Collins' asks the fatal question at a croquet par ty. At lawn tennis, as Nimrod said.long ago, "the pace is too good to inquire" into matters of the affections. In Sir Wal ter's golden prime, or rather in the Forty-five as Sir Walter j understood il, ladies were in no hurry and could select elegant expressions. Thus did Flora re ply to Waverly: "I can but explain to you with candor the feelings which I now entertain; how they might be al tered by a train of circumstances too fa vorable pernsps to be hoped for, it were vain even to conjecture; only be assured, Mr. Waverly, that after my brother's honor and happiness there is none which I shall more sincerely pray for than yours." This; love is indeed what Sidney Smith heard the Scotch lady call "Love in the abstract." Mr. Kings ley's Tom Thurnall somehow proposed, was accepted, and was "converted" all at once a more complex erototheologi dal performance was never heard of be before. Many of Mr. Abell's thirty-five cases are selected from novelists of no great mark ; it would have been more in structive to examine only the treatment of the great masters of romance. But, after all, this is of but little consequence. All day long and every day novelists are teaching the "Art of Love," and playing the Ovid to the time. lhackeray says that in writing these passages he used to blush till you would think he was going into an apoplexv. But, what are novels without love? Mere waste paper, only fit to be reduced to pulp, and restored to a whiteness and firmness on which more love lessons may be written. London Daily News. i Muscular Editorials. A good deal of excitement was occa sioned in the town of Whitehaven on Saturday afternoon on a report getting abroad the editor and proprietor of the Whitehaven Gazette had been horse whipped in his own office by Thomas Jackson, a local timber merchant. The Gazette is a local paper which is exceed ingly free in its personal critioioms, and tha editor, George Windross.has on more than one occasion been, threatened with bodily chastisement by parties who con sidered themselves aggrieved by his re marks; but, although occasional alterca tions have taken place, no violence has been used on either side until Saturday last, uo mac day some tree comments ware made in the paper about the abcence of Thomas Jaokson from the conserva tive meeting, which was addressed by Mr. JtsentincK and other conservative members, on the previous Tuesday. An noyed at the remarks which, appeared. Mr. Jackson wslied upon Mr. Windross at ins residence so early as 9 o clock on Saturday morning, when that gentleman was not up. , Mr. Jackson sent np his oard and asied Mr. Windross to name a time when he could be seen at his office. An appointment was madtf or 12:30, at which time Mr. Jackson presented him' self at the Gazette office. According to Mr. Jackson's aocount, when he entered the editorial sanctum there were three persons there, George Windross, the ed itor, and on the other side of a low par- lion, jonn windross, his brother, and a reporter. Mr. Jackson politely requested the editor not t3 re fer to him again in the columns of his paper, as he (Mr. Jackson) did not wish to be considered either a public or a "society" man. The editor replied he would refer to him when and how be liked. Upon this, a wordy altercation ensued, in the course of which, accord ing to Mr. Jackson's statement, the edi tor took hold of a stick and brandished it over his head. Upon this provocation Mr. Jackson delivered the editor a blow in the face with his fist, knocked him into a corner. The two men closed. Seeing that his brother, who is the smaller man of the two. was getting the worst of it, John Windross leaped over the partition to his rescue, and, standing at the window seat, pulled off Mr. Jack sou, got his head in "chancery" and be gan "pummeling" him in the face. Mr. Jackson released himself, and, seizing George Windross by the coat, pulled him out into the - passage, where there was more room. Here a regular set to fight took place, in which both parties suffered. Eventually Mr. Jackson states that he seized the editor by the collar and pulled him toward the street door to get rid of his brother. As soon as he got to the door Mr. Windross held on the door-poat. and, his necktie finally giving Way, Mr. Jackson slipped down the steps into the street, where upon the door was immediately slammed to, and the fracas ended. The editor's account agiees with this up to the strug gle in the lobby, which terminated, he said, by Mr. Jackson being "tumbled into the street like a ball," finally being dismissed with a blow from the shoulder. Each party, however, retained a trophy of the fight. Mr. Jackson leaving his Lat in the office and bearing in his hand the editorial necktie. When in the street Mr. Jackson got into the carriage of a friend and drove off; but he states that he intends to call upon Mr. Windross again, taking a friend with him to se fair play. Both the combatants are much marked about the face and the affray is now the talk of the district. Card ill Mail, May 26th. The Safety PIn-IU Antiquity. Taking the common "safety pin" as a starting point, the various types into which the variants fall are ciassined and exemplified very thoroughly in this little study. Not a single part of the simple. though not primitive, instrument but lias suffered some, strange metamorphosis. Now the catch is flattened into a disk or diamond shaped plate, now lengthened into a tube, now knotted and put baca to the bow; the bow is alternately short ened, lengthened, squared, rounded, decked with studs, grain-work, braces, rings, plates, amber beads, figures of birds and beasts and men, or trioked with hanging ornaments; while tte spring is found doubled, multiplied into coils, changed into a solid roll or hinge, or magnified into gigantic proportions in relation to the other parts of the brooch. The Italian groups, with either simple or two-3pringed bow, are very distinct; the Hungaro-Scandinvian ex amples are marked by their spiral catch and and coil spring; the Greeks charac teristically seized on the spring as the feature of the fibula, and eurled the wire into two spirals, from the centers of which catch and pin spring. The his tory of the fibula can be traced for some 2.000 years, starting from its first ap pearance about ten centuries before M Christ. Probably the most graceful man in uniform on decoration day was Ma jor Paul Dana, only son of the editor of the Sun. He is major of ordinance on the staff of General Fitzgerald. He rode with the aids at the head of the second brigade. His therOugbbred steed pranc ed next to the curb, giving his scabbard a musical" jingle. Major Dana is tall and distingue in appearance. His uni form was made by Poole of Jersey City. It fits him like a tight silk Jersey. His handsome face and manly proportions sent thrills of admiration through the hearts of the wondering maidens who waved their handkeiohiefs at him rap turously. He is the best horseman on the staff. Major Dana's physical graces are exceeded only by his mental endow ments. He evidently tried to look se verely warlike as the column began to move, but the smiles of the fair quiokly thawed him. Scheming mothers regard Major Dana as the greatest catch of the season. Brooklyn Eagle. The Empress Eugenie had a narrow escape from a serious accident May 27. While returning to her residence at Farnborough from the North Camp Bo man Catholic Church, Aldershot, one cf the horses drawing the carriage becamr restless, and commenced to plunge vio lently. The other horse, on being kicked, reared and added to the danger. Finally one of the animals got his hind leg over the carriage pole, and both horses then plunged more violently. Fortunately, Mr. Hengist, of the Wel lington Hotel, Aldershot, drove up with two friends and rendered assistance in rescuing the party from their dangerous position. One of the gentlemen in at tendance had his leg hurt. The Empress suffered a severe shock, but retained her self possession throughout, and walked home with her attendants. Pall Mall Gazette. SHORT BITS. ' People who think themselves smart go abont asking questions like this : "Can a rope walk?" We say yes when it is taut. San Frsncisoo News Letter. A Western paper has started the dis cussion when men fthonld 1 mmr. On r idea of the proper time is when thay get tne gin s consent and tne money to pay the minister. Paper is now employed for the con struction of tlomes for conservatories. It has also for a long time been utilized in the manufacture of western raising . claims and township speculations. ' A Brooklyn girl is much worried linos the first of May, .Her lover has moved tuttt door and she is afraid he will see her putting ont the washing, and expect her to do it after she is married. "My son," said an American father. Alt'. WIAAU J VIA Willi J CU AiWU (UA I "Why, father, I'm not able to keep two women. IT 1 married a lankee girl I d have to hire an Irish girl to take card of her." A Sootch parson said somewhat sarcas tically of a hard drinker that be put an enemy in his mouth to steal away his brains, bnt that the enemy, aftet a thorough and protracted searoh. re turned without anything. A teamster in Maine conquers balky horses by taking them out of the slisfts and making them go rvund in a cirole. This is the only method of producing dizziness in Maine, which is a prohibi tion state. Lowell Citizen. 'In New York, a few days ago, a hand- organ grinder's monkey attacked a boy and bit and injured him severely. It is supposed that the boy called the mon key a dude, and the wonder is that the lad was not torn to pieces. Norristown Herald. McKee Rankin is said to be the daddy of the word "masher." He ones said to Thome, alluding to the applause given Thorceby the ladies. "Charley, I'm no where in this 'rig (alluding to his oos tume), I only touch their hearts, but by the gods, you mash em I" It is said that a young lady can never whistle in the presence of her lover. The reason is obvious. He doesn't give her a chance. When she gets her lips in a proper position for whistling some thing else always occurs. Rochester Post express. Member of the new club: "Profcasor, I have called to ask you to give us a motto for our new club. We want some thing auggeative in Latin." ;Profusor: "Something suggestive and in Latin? Well, yes, I know of a very good one just the thing, 'Delirium tremens I' " Barnum claims that his thirteen Nu bians have a horror for water for bathiaf v purposes. It was a piece of supereroga- ' tion and a waste of money to import such "curioRities." The woods in the country are full of 'em. Barnum might have lassoed a dozen tramps. There is a young fellow in bur neigh borhood who has been making a daily practice of attempting to sing "Let me like a soldier die." He seems to crave death, and they do say that one of the neighbors who has a musket is preparing to accommodate him. Miss Rows of Boston has written a . play for seven girls. The scene opens with the girls talking separately. In the second act they are all talking at once. In the third act the talk is continued, and in the fourth act there is a grand climax. The servant comes in with the information that there is a man at the gate, and all rush upstairs to fix up, . while the curtain falls to slow musio. Some famous California nuggets: A piece of gold was taken from the Monu mental quartz mine, Sierra Buttes, in 1860,which weighed 1596 ounces and was sold in Sau Francisco for $21,638. A specimen was found in a mine 200 feet deep at Chipp's Flat in 1881 which yielded $22,000. A nugget fouad at French Ravine in 1851 weighed 42S ounces and was worth $8000,and aaother picked up there in 1855 weighed 532 ounces and sold for $10,000. The Prince And the Whipping Boy. "What is a whipping boy, anyhow?" All the boys and girls will ask that ques tion when they look at a picture of Edward VI. and his whipping-boy. I must tell you, then, that in old times a prince, who was to be a king after he grew up, was treated as a person of very groat dignity and importance. It would not do to punish him, because his person was held to be sacred; but as a prince was only a boy, after all, he had to learn lessons and he bad to obey his teachers. If he did not get his lessons, or if he was saucy to his teachers, it would noi do to overlook the matter; somebody must be punished, and in those days boys were always punished by flogging. But it would not do to flog a prince. . He was a king's son, and after a while would become king himself. So when ever the prince did anything for which a flogging was necessary, the flogging was given to another boy. They kept a boy for the purpose. It was bis business to take all the prinoe's whippings for him. and hence they called him the prinoe's whipping-boy. . . The boy who took Edward VI. s whip ping for bim was named Barnabas Fitz patriok, and it is said that he and tha prince were very good friends indeed. A vivid impression of the sadden f ary of the southern oyclone is conveyed by this brief statement of Mr. B. B. Jones, of Beaaregard, Miss., who, the moment be saw the danger coming, called his wife and little boy Into the yard and made them lay fiat on the gronnd and grasp some shrubs which were within reach. "I put one around my wife, says Mr. Jones, "while with the other I clasped a small tree, and then made my son lie close to me, and then I said to them, 'Hold on, hold on, for God's sake! It is for life!' and them the wind came. There was a whirl and a rotr. I was shaken and heard the crash of my falling house. In an instant it was over. I still held, my wife in my arms, but she was insensible, and my "boy was still nestling close to me, but was bruised and bleeding." All three escaped with out serious injury, thanks to Joneu pres ence of mind and the prompt obedience I his wife and child.