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About The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886 | View Entire Issue (July 6, 1883)
,.-Vr J A,. v. THE COLUMBIAN; THE, ptUMBlTLN. - PUBLISHED ZVEBY XXIDAT . AT T. HELEN'S, COLUMBIA C0.,0R : yUBLlBHO-JSVKBY FRIDAY AT ST.'HKLENS COLUMBIA It).; 01 E. O. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor E. G.ADAJIS Editor Aad Pxocrktor. i.ffT f UTTT'i -M t . Adttbttsiko Ratxs: ! BtTBscBipnos Bates: s On yaar, la ad ranee.. , Btx mootba. M 1 00 4 VOL. HI. ST. imJENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON: JULY 6, 1883. , N0. 48. One ftqaara (10 llnea) first laaartion 52 00 Each aubaeqaeat Insertion.. 1 00 , 50 v n nr n n n X A ..ill , A nil , Lmi All WITHOUT AND WITHIN. Sir coachman, la the maonlWht there. Look through the iid9-liffht of the door; I hear htm With hi brethren wear, ' 1 coaled but onlj more. Cartelling' hU oos9 a?alnt the pane. Be enrte toe my brilliant lot. Breatbtt on hit aching flsU lu vala. AJid duoms me to a place more hot. He tee me In nipper go, - A silken wonder by my aide. Bare arm, bare shoulders, and a row Of flounce,' for the door too wide Be thinks hAW bapy It tar arm 'Jteaio lta white glrfred and jeweled load; And wiabe me tome dreadful harm, - Hearing' Uie meny eorka explode. Menwbll I Inwardly csMhe bore. ' Ot naming a. Ill the vane old coon; And envy him, ontsiJe the door. Ia golden quiets of the moua. The Winter wind la not ao cold r -Aa the brinht smile tie sees me win. Nor the boM'a oldest wine to old At our poor gabble, sour and thin. I enry him the nngyved prance Br which his fret ring feet he warms, And drag my lady'8 cbalus and dauce. Tae galley bid re ot dreary form.". t Oh could he hare my share of diu. And I his quiet past a doubt. 'Twoulo. ktill be one man bored within. And Jast auoiher bored without. James E. Lowell. EARLY SEW YORK INDUSTRIES. In the autumn of 1609, Henry Hud - son, in the Dutch yacht Halve Maan, or Half Moon, of eighty tons burden, be- gan the exploration of the great "River of the Mountains," which is now known by his name. Passing through the Nar rows, he found a noble harbor, with ; "very good riding for ships." Of the region surrounding he wrote : "It is as ' beautiful a land as the foot of man can tread 'upon, and abounds in all kinds of excellent ship timber." During the four years that followed this voyage of dis covery several vessels made ventures from Holland to Manhattan, their intent being to trade with the native Indians till they had completed the cargoes Of furs with which to return. The most convenient anchorage was off the south ern shore of the island, and their most accessible landing was not on the Capsi3 Hocks, at its extreme south point, nor - on the marshes directly east of them, but on that sandy beach of the North river shore, with its forest opening, which soon afterward was named "Blom ' xnaert's valley," about the present Bat tery Place and Greenwich street. The voices of oars and traffic then scarcely disturbed the quiet of the haven. The silence of the forest shores was unbroken even by the woodman's ax. Only now and then a red man would meet the trader in the valley glade and exchange his peltry for duffels and Nuremburg toys. '"'Neither fire-water nor fire-arms ' made part of the commodities of that early trade, when at less hazard and cost . a beaver skin, worth some gilders at Am sterdam, could be obtained for a yard of cheap cloth. Among the Dutch mari ners and traders of those years, Hen drick Christiansen and Adriaeu Block became the most notable. They were employed by certain merchants of Am sterdam to continue and extend the trade in furs, and not with a view to agricul tural or other industries. THE "RESTLESS." In the fall of 1613 Block's ship, the Tiger, was the only one left at anchor in the bay, and while preparing to return to Holland with his cargo his vessel was accidentally -burned. The first handi work done by white men in Manhattan Was the building of a yacht in her stead, for, although their first attention was given to throwing np rude huts of bark for shelter, these were but temporary structures. Ship building thus happened to become the earliest industry of our island. PosBibly using the iron, and it may be the sails saved from the Tiger, Skipper Block and his men began their labor. There was no need of works for defense, for even their daily food was supplied to them by the Indians without price. The mariners had nothing save their arms and their tools. The former the Indian feared as demons, and tho latter their regarded only as ornaments, unwieldly and useless to them. Along the shore of the North river, between the present Rector street and Battery Place,, where long afterward there were shipyards, there ran a high bluff covered with goodly oaks. These were hewn into ship timber, which was easily low ered to the ways on the strand below. There, during that dreary winter, in the absence of all succor from Holland, they built their yacht of eight lasts or sixteen tons, and named her the Onrust, or the Restless. Her. measurement was only thirty eight feet kneel, forty -fonr and a half on deck, and a eleven and a half beam. This was the 'pioneer craft of Manhattan, and the first decked vessel built within the limits of the original thirteen colonies. In the spring of 1614 she was completed, and then Block be gan her log book of exploration. He sailed to the eastward, and with her light -draught ventured into bays and rivers which the larger ships of Dutch traders bad- never before entered. Through Hell Gate and the Sound he sailed as far as Cape Cod, vwting the unsettled shore of the present Boston Bay, discovering Block Island, looking into the outlets of the Housatonic and exploring the Con necticut. Two years afterward, in 1616, Skipper Cornelis Hendricksen sailed the Restless from Manhattan into Delaware Bay and up the river above the conflu ence of the Schuylkill. The yacht of Manhattan hud spread her sails in Massachusetts Bay six years before the " Mayflower came, and was the first vessel that visited the spot which Pena settled nearly seventy years afterward. INDIAX IUXUFA'.'TOREKS. The Indians of Mauhattau and its neighborhood subsisted on game of the forest and fiih of tho s and rivers, to gether with the ui.iize, pumpkins and beans which they sparsely cultivated. Along the coast, too, ciacii and oysters were abundant. The use of salt seems to have been unknown among them. They cured fish and flesh and prepared skins by drying aud smoking them. The northern Indians could convert' peltries into very - good leather, "making the same plume and soft." Their squaws were adepts at ornamenting them with simple pigments. Mats were made of wild hemp, and they made red wooden bowls for serving food. The first wan- " f"r" dering Indians who met Hudson's ship in the lower bay were ; clothed with "mantles of feathers and robes of fur, and adorned with rude copper necklaces The canoes of the Manhattans were made of "single hollowed trees," while the In dians of the north made them of bark, lio-ht and strong, for portage. Pipes and pottery were made ol clay, and the cultivation and use of tobacoo were com mon. Bows and arrows, stone axes, and arrow-proof armor of skins were among their preparations lor - war. Tnev had no aomesuc animais except uogs, ana - . 1 a. a these were of very small breed. Seeing a dog brought from Holland by Block, the Indians called him "the saohem of the dogs," because he was the largest they had ever seen. A fat dog was a feast for them. The most important In dian industry, which was peculiar to the sea coast "tribes, was the manufac ture of a currency which was in general use even throughout far distant territory. Rejecting the European coins, whose varying values they could not under stand, they continued in the use of their aboriginal money, which they called sewan. There were two &inas, warn num or white beads, made of the central stem of the conch shell, and snckawock, or black beads, made from the inside of the clam shell, -the latter being double the value of the white, a fathom of it being "worth five dollars. By the Eng- tsh both kinds were generally Known aa wampum. .Besides its universal use as money it served the xnaians ior orna ment," and in the form of a belt .it was the pledge and seal of all contracts and treaties. The chief place of its manu- acture was along the shores ot Long sland. The Dutch of Manhattan, there fore had this primitive Indian mint close at band, aud it gave them a large advan tage in their traffic with the inland tribes. TUB PELTRY TBADE. In the spring of 1614, not long after Block, had completed the building of his yacht, and had sailed eastward, hia early comrade 'Christiansen arrived at Man hattan from Holland, and, sailing np the North river, established a trading-house on Castle Island, on the west side, not far below the present city of Albany. This pioneer post in the wilderness was intended to secure larger returns of pel try to the Amsterdam merohants. It was situated among the Mohawk aud Mohe gans, who occupied the region re spectively west and east of the river. The building was therefore a fort as well as a warehouse, thirty-six by twenty-six feet, and enclosed by a stockade and moat of sixty feet square. , It was called Fort Nassau, and its armament consisted ef two large guns and eleven patercrols or swivels, with a garrison of twelve men. This little, stronghold was the first civil ized handiwork of that : wild region, though in the enumeration of manual in dustries commerce may also justly claim a place. The prosperity of Holland was founded on the unity of commerce and industry, and the Dutch traders were "handelaars," or, in English, "hand lers." When Fort Nassau was built, there were only a few adventurous French in Canada, only an English col ony of eight years in Virginia; no other houses of white men. This dozen of Dutch inatrosses was the sole advance guard of the northern colonies. In Octo ber of that year the territory was named New Netherlands, and the tricolor of Holland was the first flag that inaugur ated homes and industry in all the land between the Connecticut and the Dela ware. ABORIGINAL CONSTBUCTIVK ART. Early in 1617 Castle Island was cov ered by an ice flood of the river, and the fort was nearly destroyed. A redoubt was then bnilt on the main west bank, aod there a treaty of amity was made by the Dutch with the Five Nations of Indians, or Iroquois. This confederacy of tribes, the "Romans of the Western World," occupied the entire region be tween the North river and Niagara, now included in the state of New York. As statesmen, they had perfected a league of independent republics, which after ward served as a model for the American colonies. As warriors, they had con quered the tribes east and west of them, and exacted tributes of wampum from the Indians of the sea coast. Their advance in constructive art was attested by their distinctive name of "Konoshioni," the cabin : builders, and by their fortified castles of galleried pal isadoes, which had successfully resieted the French arquebuses of Champlain in 1615. The "long house" of this confed eration reached from the North River to Lake Erie, the western door being guarded by the Senecas and the eastern by the Mohawks, the bravest and fiercest of them all. From the far spreading hunting grounds of the Iroquois, west of the river, and from the Slohegane or Mahiccans, a distinct and tributary tribe, on the east, the Dutch traders drew rich supplies on peltry, and the treaty made in 1617 maintained its unbroken protec tion to their up-river traffic and industry during the whole Flemish rule. FORT, CHURCH, AND HOU3E BUILMN'O. In May, 1626, Peter Minuit arrived at Manhattan as the Director General of the colony. His earliest euro was to pur chase the entirs island, then estimated at 22,000 acres, from the Indians. It be came the property of the West India Company by the payment of sixty guilders. The Dutch ever afterward continued the just policy of first procur ing a title to land by satisfying the In dian claim. Tradition says that the first work of defence erected on the island had been a small redoubt on the North river bluff in the rear of the present No. 39 Broadway. This may have been the wcrk of the few colonists who, as we haye seen, were established there in 1623, and it is possible that they may have thus as serted the oeeupati n of the West India Company. Butthe earliest record of for tification states that it was not until 1626 that a large fort "with four angles, to be faced with solid stone," was staked out by the engineer, 'Kryn Frederycke, on the south part of the island. Isaac de Kasieres, the "koopman," or secretary of the colon j, was next in rank to Min uit, and had come as a protege of Sam uel Blotnmaert, one of the leading direc tors. His description of the Jsite of the fort states that it was built on a promon tory at the southern point "the height of a hillock above the surrounding land," 'which might with little trouble be made an island by cutting through 13 loom maert's Vallev. The promotory. thus fortified, was "the Bpace now included between Whitehall and State streets, and between the Bowling Green and Bridge street. Blommaert's Valley was the low ground directly south of and adjoining the Bowlinsr Green. With a clear title to the soil, the sounds of honest industry began around the progressing founda tions pi the fort. Francois Molemaecer, under direction of Engineer Frederycke, was employed in building a horse-mill, with a epaoious room above for the Dutch Reform Congregation. A tower was also to be added, in which the Spanish bells, captured at Porto Rico in 1625, were to be hung. This earliest mill and ohuroh stood near the present Whitehall and bridge street, protected by the fort. The counting-house of the company was the first edifice built of - stone, and even that was thatched with reeds. As a safeguard against the savages, it was intended that all the settlers should dwell within the walls of the fort when it was finished. Bat in the meantime abont thirty houses built of bark and olustered on the East river shore, near the fort, were occupied. each colonist having his own house. BRICK MAKING SAW AND GRIST MILLS. By the summer of 1628 the lortress on the promontory, which had been named fort Amsterdam, was completed with four bastions, and "faced with good querry stone," bearing witness to the skilled in dustry of the mason, the carpenter, and other artisans. But the Iddians were peaceful, and the colonists continued to dwell outside the walls. Their wives "had borne them children," and the peo ple numbered 270. The harvest was well gathered, but laborers were few, maid servants were scarce, and the Angola slaves proved to be "thievish, lazy and useless trash. The making of brick from clay-pits near the fort, of lime from oyster shells, and of soap-ashes from the clearings around, were begun.. Timber was prepared for export, but there were yet not vessels enough to ship it. Andries Carstensen, a master mill-wright from Holland, had arrived, and under his care a saw-mill was erected on Natten Island, now Governor s, off the fort. A horse mill for grinding was put up on what be came known as Mill Street Lane, on the nortu side of the present South William Street, next to the corner of Broad. In 1628 the first minister, Dominie Jonas Michaelius, had reached the colony, and preached to the Dutch congregation, and occasionally in French to the Walloons on Long Island. So, in huts of bark, in houses thatched with reeds, on rambling by-ways and lanes, on lots without bounds or deeds, the settlement of Man hattan -had its beginning. fN. Y. Mail. Lime-Kiln Club Business. The gentleman who entered Paradise hall the other evening by way of a second-story window, and found his foot in a bear trap as he approached the club safe to rob it of $68,872 22, will hear of something to his advantage by aldress ing the secretary of the club. Parts of a boot, three toe-nails in a good state of preservation, the leg of a pair of panta loons, and several other relics of the event can be had by calling at the hall and giving the janitor the wink. It may be mentioned right here that Paradise hall is a well gurrded institution. The safe is provided with an electric bell to ring up Samuel Shin from a distauce of a mile and a halt; a bear trap is left set and hungry for blood nnder every win dow; three spring-guns are waiting on the stairs to vote in the affirmative. Whalebone Howker arose to a ques tion of privilege. He had heard it charged again and again that at least ten prominent members of the Lime-Kiln club wore corsets, and used musk as per fumery. If there was any truth in this charge, he wanted to know it. If it was a base canard, he wanted to be ready to pulverize the next man who mentioned it. "Gem'len," said Brother Gardner, as he looked around in a fatherly manner, "if dar' am anybody among you who w'ars corsets, please stand up an' be spotted fur life." There was no response. It was noticed that the Rev. Penstock was visibly agitated, and Prof. Shadback De Pew slid carefully off the end of the bench in search of something on the floor, but no man stood up. Pickles Smith arose to speak a word in favor of Judge Chewso. A few weeks ago the judge was fined $1300 for pass ing a plugged half-dollar on the treasur er in payment of dues. While it was a mean trick, if deliberately contemplated, there was evidence that the judge was as iitnocent as a yearling babe. He was noted as an absent-minded gentfeman of culture, and was also . so near-Bighted that he would go along the street raising his hat to butcher-carts and ice-wagons. Brother Smith had figured up, that it would take the judge 315 years to pay that fine, and to ask a member to con tinue under such a funeral pall as that for the best part of his life was to dampen his ardor and kill his ambition. . The president replied that the fine would be remitted, but the jadge and all other members must understand that trying to beat the club treasury was an offence little short of murder. The next man who dropped a ten penny nail into the collection hat, or the next member who offered debased money in payment of his solemn dues, would hear a crash little short of the explosion of a dozen steamboats in chorus. Giveadam Jones, Whalebone Howker, and Professor Slyback were appointed a special committee on this season's melon crop, with instructions to ascertain the acreage, the probable yield, the quality, and to report on any invention designed to keep a melon patch and a colored man eighty rods apart on a cloudy night. Detroit Free Press. Does thk Weather Repeat Itself? A Watertown, N. Y., man, who has kept an account of the weather, claim a that it invariably repeats itself, nd gives the following as the result of his observa tions, viz: All years ending in 9, 0 or 1 are extremely dry; those ending in 2, 3, 4, 5 or 6 are extremely wet; those ending in 7 or 8 are ordinarily well balanced; those ending in 6 have extremely cold winters; tuose ending in 2 have an early spring; those ending in 1 have a late spring; those ending in 3 and 4 are f ub jeet to great floods. THE GIRL SOLDIER. Condino was the furthermost village in Tyrol conquered by uaribaldi at the time of my arrival there in July, 1866. On the night of my arrival the fort of Ampola . had fallen. The battle of the Bridge of Cimego had yet to be won. The defeat of Bisecco had yet to be sus tained. I went at once to the prinoipal inn, but found it occupied by the colonel in command.the sign boarding,taken down. The inn had ceased to be a "house of call" for travelers, and had become a fortress. , . I showed my credentials. I showed a special pass from Garibaldi entitling me to move freely within the circle of the Italian military operations. It was no use. I had to retreat. These difficulties had made me cross, and I was tired and hungry. I fared no better at the other inn. The rooms were all full, eyen the corridors. A boy accosted me a boy twelve years of age, apparently a peasants child. "If you please, patron;" he inquired. touching his cap, "did you want a bed room? You were asking for a bedroom. and my mother has such beautiful roomsl One of them is the kitchen, but it is very baautlful." He led me to a small house which looked like a small ruin or the remains of a conflagration; but it was still used as a dwelling. A light shone in one of the windows, and the door was ajar. The boy pushed it open, and we found our selves iu a sort of ante-room (which turned out to ba the kitchen,) and in the presence of an old woman, who was stooping over the fire. The boy ran toward her. "Un foresto, Mima!" cried the child in patois: then, turning toward me and speaking in good Italian, "S'accommoda, siguore." The Tyrolese speak two lan guages, or rather they are beginning to discover that their own language is an excrescence. The beldam eyed me critically, and whispered something in the boy's ear. This last nodded in token of assent, and held up his ten fingers. "Paghera un mezzo franco I" he exclaimed, iu a breath less tone, meaning that I would pay ten sous (five pence). The cronn smiled. "Basta!" (it will do), she exclaimed, with a pleased look and invited me to draw near the fire. I noticed that the crone prepared sup per for four persons four glasses, four plates, four knives and four forks to match. Our party was, therefore, in complete, I began to be alarmed lest supper should be delayed. But this was by no means the case. The old dame poured out the polenta, and we took our seats at the table with out thinking of the absent person, the crone uttering a short prayer in Litin. I looked at her face with increased inter est and fancied I saw in her a trace of former dignity and refinement. Her hair was as white as snow; her lack-luster eyes were round and large; her hight above the common. Nevertheless the ancient dame became more human as the night advanced The wine, bad as it was, had its effect, and the fire made the room cheerful. The child, too, did justice to the meal. "Cor poral John," he exclaimed, "drinks no wine. I suppose he does not like it. He is so shy I But why do you not wear a soldier's dress, too? If you can fight you should wear a sword or a gun; but per haps you are going to have one sent to you?" The old crone mumbled to herself. The child seemed amused. ".What a funny old woman, is she not?" . But these words were spoken in a subdued voice. Supper being over, my young frienl began to make inquiries about the ab sent person the absenco of whom I had noticed. The empty chair,, the clean plate and glass, seemed to attract his at tention for the fir ?t time. "Do you think there is any fighting going on?" he inquired, with a look of anxiety. I hope not I think not!" I replied. , The hag made the sign of the cross. "I think not, too!" added the boy, with tears in his eyes. Then after a mo ment's pause he asked whether I thought Corporal John would go away without bidding him good-bye. "But who is Corporal John?" I in quired. Hardly had I spoken these words than the door flew open. The boy started from his seat and rushed into ths arms of a handsome young soldier who at that in stant made his appearance. I never saw a finer figure of a youth; brave and modest at the same time, with large lustrous eyes as "black as death," and a pale, thoughtful face, shaded but not concealed by the peak of his cap his red shirt and purple trousers giving him a boyish look. He bowed politely, but without raising his cap, and entered the room with that easy dignity which is a result of military education, starting however, at my fixed look, and allowing the boy to take pos session of his gun. He appeared to be about to speak, but restrained himself, and took his seat at the table without honoring me with further notice an swering the child in monosyllables, and Beeming at once preoccupied and hungry. But it was easy to see that my presence troubled him, and for some reason or other he was angry with the boy. I fancied,' too, that I had seen him before. The crone drew nearer the fire, and with her distaff under her arm began spinning hemp as white as her own hair. The crone's name was Menek (the Tyrolese for Domenica.) the child's Cheoco.. The soldier glanced at me from timo to time, his eyes flashing a sort of defi ance. Checco offered him some ham and be gan pouring wine into a tumbler. "I am sure you will like this," ob served the boy, with a wheedling look. "Will you have some fruit?'? "No," answered the soldier, curtly. "And no wife?" "No, my dear." "You are oross to night, corporal! What have I done?" The soldier did not reply, and the boy withdrew in silenoe. I remained face to face with the soldier. "I have seen you before!" he e claimed, suddenly, his face flushing up wnu excitement. "That is quite true." "Then-yon remember me?" "Perfectly." "Ah!" exclaimed the soldier, and once more became absorbed in his plate. a endeavored to renew the conversa A . -mm. tion, dui in vain. The yonng man re mained silent, or as much so as he possi bly could without being rude. I re ferred to the circumstance of our former meeting, but failed to discover any rea son for his singular behavior. ' At last he rose, and wishing me good-night, in a friendly tone, left the room, accom panied by the boy. who appeared to act as vaiet aa cnambre. Next morning I found the child seated at the foot of my bed. He had been cry' ing. His eyes were red as Are. "What is the matter?" I inquired. "Corporal John has gone." "But he will come back again, will he not?' "Oh, never, never, never!" cried the child, breaking out into passionate sobs, The Austrians will kill her. They will put her to death! "What do you mean, my poor boy?" uorporai John is a girl. rucn was tue end ox mv adventure in the peasant's hut. Let me add that the boy's statement was correct. There were a great nusaber oi jiaiian gins in uaribaidi s army some to fight and some to serve in hos pitals. Barbarous Stadeats. The Madison University and the Bap tist lueoiogical seminary, where Bap tist ministers are turned out annually, is located at Hamilton, a village about twenty miles south of Syracuse. The institutions have always been known as among the moral. Hazing has been a very infrequent occurrence, which makes the cruel and barbarous treat ment of two of the students recently all the more to be deprecated. ; Early in the day it was decided by several of the students to haze two of their number belonging to the sopho more class. About fifty students were let into the secret, and a full line of procedure was determined on. Two young men drove to Earlville, a village six miles distant, and sec a rod Felt Hall, assuring the owner that they were to have some harmless exercises, common in college life, and would not require any fire or lights. The keys were, there fore, placed in their charge. Suppers for fifty were also engaged at the hotel, to be served at 2 a. m. After the two students who were to be hazed bad retir ed, their rooms were broken open. They were then ruthlessly compelled to dress, and were bound hand and foot and gag ged. A closed carriage was in waiting, and into this they wer thrust, and the horses' heads turned toward Earlville. The larger part of the participants had gone in advance by carriages. They ar rived at their destination about midnight and immediately tootc charge of Felt Hall. Two large barrels had previously been prepared for the occasion. Sharpened nails had been driven into rhem from the outside, so that they protruded nearly an inch on the interior. The two vic tims were placed iu these barrels after the gags had been removed. The floor of the'hall was wet down, and a sma'l fire bnilt in the center. The birrels were then rolled from one end of the hall to the other, and several times around and over the fire. Revolvers were fired and firecrackers exploded. The terrible din had aroused several of the villagers, who assembled about the hall. The cries of the imprisoned young men could be hoard above all the confusion. A constable demanded - ad mission to the hall, bnt was threatened with violence. He ungallantly retreated. The barrels were finally rolled down the stairs and into the street. The heads were knocked in and the two students liberated. They were more dead than alive and presented a pitiable sight. When the citizens offered to lend aid and call for a physician the firing o revolvers began a second time, and all were glad to retreat. The young men's clothing was nearly torn from their bodies, and the blood flowed from the wounds caused by their coming in contact with the sharpened nails. The hazers were indig nant over the interference of the vil lagers, broke every street lamp in the town and destroyed other valuable prop erty. It is alleged that nearly all of them were intoxicated. They left the town at 3 a. m. without eating their sup per. The young men who were so cru elly tortured were taken with them. Both are lying very ill to-night. The faculty will hold a thorough in vestigation. They will also settle the damages done at Earlville. The whole affair has caused just indignation. The names of the students who were hazed are witheld for the present. No such treatment has ever been heard of in this state. The high character of the institu tion makes the night's work all the more astonishing. Chicago Tribune Special. Sweethearts and Wives. At the Army of the Potomac reunion in Washington recently, Charles Dud ley Warner, in responding to the toast, "Sweethearts and Wives," spoke in part as follows: This 'is an excellent and venerable toast. I have no doubt it could be found deposited under the foundation stone of one of the oldest existing monuments in the world that to Washington, over yonder. It is old, but it will be still new and fresh long after the Washington monument is finished. It is one of the most ingenious sentiments ever devised by evasive man. Its origin is lost in the mists of antiquity, but it was, no doubt, concocted before latch-keys were in vented. "Sweethearts and Wives." Is that "and" a conjunctive or a disjunc tive conjunctive? It is both. It suits the convivial hour of the banquet and will pass muBter nnder domestic inspection at any hour of the morning. It may mean, for the worldly moment, that there are also wives, and it may mean, when itmnst, in the hour when account has to be given of the deeds done here in the banquet, that sweethearts and wives are the same persons. It is an honored toast; being usually kept, like good wine, till the last. It is not necessary, in the presence of the Army of the Potomac, that I should appear as the eulogist of woman,. She is indeed beginning to speak for herself, and I am expecting the day when she will begin to speak for ns, when she will do man some slight jjstice for the little fart he has played in. history. She nows all about it; she reads him like the alphabet. She knows when he has been false and when true,' when his bravery was genuine, and when : it was from the fear of being called a coward, when he has-been a pretender, when he has been a hypocrite, when he has been so foyal tba she , could. . worship hjm without:a-flatter 6f reservation, and love him without 'a -blush ' she .has studied him and .kept all theae. things in her heart. She has shed tears enough over him to wash away all his sins to float him into Heaven if he conld go there by water. She has flattered him till his head touches the stars. She has strengthened his heart, and sent him out into the world without a shield, and the injunc tion not to return without it, unless he was borne upon it. She is always will ing to hold ont a light, by which he can swim across the river to her, and her smle is always worth the swim; She is always ready to pray him out of any mischief she has enticed him into. She will make a man of him if anvthine in this world can. Her constancy is a prov erb; she is the one thing that is never twice the same and that never changes; the one object that man can confidently tie to. She is our national motto Per sonified infinite -variety in unity. What she was yesterday she will not be to morrow, and she was not the day before; she is everlastingly the same. What she was to the soldier of the Army of the Potomac I need not say. whether she remained at home to sew for him and pray for him, or followed him afield with lint and bandages, or went about in hospitals in the garb of a saint with the smile of an angel, the picture of self-sacrifice, to "kiss him for his moth er. How her patriotism and genius for organization shown out in that great army she created, second only in import ance to the army in the field, which cared for the wounded and sick. When balancing in your mind the cost of a spring bonnet and 10.000 regalias, re member that it was American women who devised and exeouted the greatest alleviation over known for the miseries of war. Did she make any less sacri fice than you, patient in her lonely home, keeping up her courage and yours ? I need not say how you thought of her constancy and of her pride in you, and your desire to play the man partly for her sake sweetheart or wife heartened and refined you. You thought last at night and first in the morning that she was thinking of you, and the thought that she would weep for joy in your victory was the sweetest thing iu it. Uod bless her! how she stood by you. and was proud of you and loved you. Oh, faithful heart, what is there in life so sweet? But I am not here to praise women or the army of the Potomac; only to give you "sweethearts and wives" a sweet heart is good; a wife is better; best of ail is sweetheart and wife in one person. Ivan tfie Terrible. Ivan the Terrible was an embodiment both of the Byzantine autocrat and the Tartar Kabn. The title of Great Prince was too insignificant for him, and so he called himself the czar, by which title the Russians used to address only the Khans; Ivan became ruler when only three years old. On reaching his thir teenth year, he ordered that Prince Shniiky, the head of the temporary gov ernment, be thrown to .bunting dogs, which tore him to pieces. That was his first independent act as a ruler, and the Russians realized that their little crown bearer had become a real master. He established the "oprichniki," the gen darmes of to-day. From their saddles hung dog's heads and brooms, whioh signified that they were always ready to cut off the heads of the czar's enemies and to sweep treason from the face of Russia. Thus autocratic terror was es tablished. The Red Prince before the Kremlin was kept literally red with human- blood during the reign of the ter rible, which lasted fully half a century What tortures did he not try? What ways of putting to death did he not prac tice? But then he was pious, too. lie ordered the priests of the eonvent of St. Kyrile to pray for the repose of the souls of his own victims. In his list, or synod ic, there are found 3470 names, many of "which were accompanied with these suggestive words, "and family" or "and sons" or "and family servants." There is also found this eloquent item: "Lord, remember ' the souls of Thy ser vants, the Ncvgorodians, 1,505 in num ber!" The Terrible pnt to death the Boyarda not only with their families and servants, but also with their cattle and the fishes in their lakes! No doubt the czar surpassed the Kahn. However Ivan feared for his own life, ponded with Elizabeth, gland, on the subjeot of himself in case of need, was a strange mixture of and he corres queen of Eu an asylum for His character grandeur and barbarity. He was a cruel maniac with lucid intervals, when he was a genius. One day he was a despot, the next day he listened to the counsel of the people's representatives. One day he swam in human blood, and another day he turned his dreadful oprichniki into monks, him self acting as their prior. ,Ooce, as he was confessing before his brethren, a Bovard remarked that the czar was hu miliating himself too much. "Keep your mouth shut, brute!" roared the ter rible prior. "I can humiliate myself. as muoh as I like, before whom I please." Once in bid rage he struok his be loved son with his iron stick and killed him on the spot. It was nnder the Ter rible that Ermak, with his valiant com rades, conquered the Siberian czardom. The freedom loving Cossacks never dreamed that they had furnished the czars with a horrible prison for sons and daughters of liberty. Liberty is represented as a female, and yet a woman doesn't have half as much liberty as a man. The proper figure for Liberty should be the man who doesn't care a continental about style, and who won't wear aooat and stifify starch ed collar during hot weather. ALL SORTS. Lost at sea The sight of land. The key-note "Wife, let me in!" They all come to grief -Funeral guests. A sole-stirring article A peg inside the boot. Deeds without words convey no real estate. Rook and wry The- cradle and the sour-faced baby. A work of fiction The weather prophet's almanac. Votneo- are" f ailures'aa bar keepers. They nevqr keep Ma mm.' ; Why are. blushes JikV girls? Boosusa they become women. . The fly is a happy thing, and goes about trying to tick'.e everybody. The store maple sugar is known aa the oleomargarine of the forest. Why are bores like trees? Because we love them best when they leave. . The cyclone is an escaped earthquake laboring nnder temporary insanity. The Bey of Tunis has caught the dynamite-scare disease. Bomb Bey, eh? Two things to be oarefnlly kept apart A forward boy and a backward Jmule. It was an apple that made Adara teU; and the same frmt made William Tell.- Paradoxical but true. A stormy day makes fare weather for the horse-cars. In one respect a boot black resembles the sun. He oan't shine when it rains. Because horses are used to reins it does not follow that they are unaffected by wet weather. As long as postal cards are popular the rural postmasters will have no timo to read novels. There is a town in Missouri named Nodaway. It must be a perfect paradise for snoozers. A cuoumber sauoe is something re cently put forth as new. It is a tort of condensed cramps. When a young lady sees a gentleman she admires she naturally wishes to be maid acquainted. What is the difference between a dull razor and a bad boy. None; for they both need strapping. v Unlike the American milkman's can, tho Venezuela cow yields a liquid with the flavor of cream. . . "Bejabers!" exclaimed an Irishman, "I've slept sixteen hours. I went to bed at 8 and got np at 8.".. The man who stole a chronometer was on time, but the policeman who nabbed him was on the watch. v When the deput sheriff sent his sweetheart a love letter he called it "serving a writ of attachment." A mosaio monument erected to the memory of the many victims of mince pie wouldn't be a bad idea. A wise man once said that "to-morrow never comes." He no doubt lent an um brella at some period in his life. An exchange says: - "New usct are daily discovered for leather." The small boy fervently hopes that the uses will be come so numerous that even the sole of a slipper will be turned in another direc tion. "Johnny, what are you going to be when you are a man?" asked a minister of a parishioner's little son. "I'm going to be a preacher,"he replied. "A preach er?" "Yes siree, you can bet yer sweet life I am." Genius is not encouraged in RaMla. A man in that country who invented a con trivance to make a snorer oonsume his own snores was arrested, charged with concocting an infernal machine to blow up the czar. Ann Eliza writes to ask why a poor man always keeps dogs. We haye not given the question much consideration, but we have ooncluded that a poor man keeps dogs "to keep the wolf from the door." Norman McCleod tells of a rather glut tonous minister who used to look at the dinner before saying grace, and- if it was a good one began, "Bountiful Jehovah," etc. If it looked bad, "We are not, O Lord, worthy of the least of thy mer cies." "Yes, sir," says the Dead wood man, "Parson Rounder is a saint. He's al ways willing to sacrifice himself. He threw down a straight flush hand the other night to go and pray with a dying man who sent for him, I call that true martyrdom. ' . - A frog fell into a pail of milk in a country town, and in the morning was -found sitting upon a roll of batter. A local paper says that the sole explana tion is that, in trying to extricate him self, the frog had, by diligent and con tinuous strokes of his long legs, churned the milk into batter. Biddy says she don't believe it. A negro hurrying with a sack of cotton on his sholder, struck a beam with bis head. The blow was like the stroke of a sledge-hammer, and the whole building trembled. "That must have hurt your head, Jim!" said his boss, pityingly. "No. sah!" was the reply. "Didn't hurt my head a bit, but sprained my neck drefiiyr . At one of the public sohools a superin tendent asked the following question: "Suppose you had eight feallons of liquor in a vessel and some one wished to buy four gallons of it, and yon only had a three and a five gallon menture to measure it with, what would you do?" After some delay, 'one of the pupils answered; "Go out and borrow another from a neighbor." A minister from .the city wan dining with the son of one of his old parishion ers, who is now a prosperous operator in the oil regions. After asking $;raoe at the dinner table the bright little daughter of the host said: "That's a pretty grace, bnt that isn't the way my father fays it." "And how does your papa say it?" asked the minister, expecting to hear one of tho bright replies for whioh the child was famous, while the rest of tho guests echoed: "Yes, tell us how your papa says grace." The unhappy father conld not reach her, and she said nwectlj: "Why, when be comes in to di iner he looks at mamma and then says: "Well, this is a of a meal to set Ittfare a white man?'