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About The Sunday Oregonian. (Portland, Ore.) 1881-current | View Entire Issue (April 12, 1908)
TUB SUA DAY OREGON IAN. PORTLAND, APRIL 12. 1908. WM PUT UP A MIIMOM FOR MS di - ILJ I! BR 1 H rBHOlLI IU IB 711 Ctiaklds t taft or cwcinnoti pourjno out money L1KD VvATER TO ' ADVANCE VAhW&iS FOLlIlGtt rORTUNDS , ' 'V PI I! s V VZtl : : TMi: AtatoTnoMtH that if William H. Tn ft Is rlri-tftl I'rfsiilcnt of the I'nitod Stntrs it will hv the result f t hi c pcml it nro of over h ni il hnn .1.M:u-s l.y hta littto ha If -lirotnor. I'hnrh.s P. Tiift. in (,'hu-innnt who hasf hi'Oii work ins1 for yours to mnko hta hrothor fiiinous in fho polittrnl li:nr Mpltt, and that tin Taft campaign has snnr iluwn t ti the annals a tlio nust rpoiiMivr rvor wafoil for a I'rosiiif-n-li.tl aiiiiiiliitr. pro dno to tin Niagara tf wt-alth tho nucii" il irnthrr of tlio W ar j-Vr.-i tary is tnrntuff into the ca'ii pa ku to la ml his favorite hfc'f hrotlirr into the hiffhest offirp of tho l:ino The ppnJ i t ur alrondy niado by ( h;irtcs I. Taft is about ten ttm's that of all the othiT ran dlates combined. I "rart iral Jy all f the money spen t in thr Taft boom so far has been fur nished out of the pnrket of tho lit tie 'im tuna t ian. in il 1 'on a ire owner and editor of the ( 'i mi una t i newspaper whi'h first anuounred the randidary of thr S' i rtary of War sonic twelve months aso. That Charles P. Taft in Koinff to h( (i V r. lifLUM) J. HICKS was in here while uro," said the Hotel Clerk, as he met the House 1 etoct ive I u their favorite corner of the St. Kockless Cafe. "Who's he?" inquired the House le (c t ive. "I lis name sounds like a sy mptom." "lie's a poet." said tlio Hotel Clerk. "I srave hint a dollar to pet his laundry out. . H'" was wearing a collar with a border on it like a mourning envelope, lies put a had cold." "1 had a bad cold myself last week, ind 1 ain't no poet, at that." said the House !etective. "I know." said the Motel Clerk. "Hut Yariloiii jr-n his sitting; on the hilKide in Central Park, wlute the scft unci r'racrnnt grass is crowing-, er -.vill he in a month from now if we have irood 'uck with tlie weather. A sparrow .op shooed hint awav in time ;o save him from pneumonia, hut lie's got a loveiy i-old that, with the proper care. iMtjclit to last him until time for it to mrrso imperceptibly into hay fever." "Wot in thunder wuz he si:tin' on the ground up in the park for?" in tui red t he I louse I'etect ive. "A bahy'd know better'n that." ' V baby- might, but a poet wouldn't." said the Hotel Clerk. "Not a true poot like Variloid. Ho was sitting t lie re upon the green rward. only ?ts not green yet, but elioco late -colored. watching t? e nodding flowerlets am? getting inspirations for a poem." " 1 eres any noddin" flowerlets. or flower lettuces, cither, in Central Park ibis time of year?" asked tne House 1 et'ct ive. "Chi t!:c hats of the ladies that were driving past." said the Hotel Clerk. "OodN-s ot 'em. They were swirling by in their little neck cabs and their gravy-boat victorias and their little hot lobster now burg automobiles, and he was sit tine on the only grass he on Id tir.d one tender young blade, two inehe long beholding them swirl. They were pitying Variloid be lanse he was w( aring that two-tone collar I told you about Just now. and i eoat with, cicier erfeets along the eamr ; and he was pitying them be eacse t eey couldn't see anything in the promise of budding Springtime, e ecpt men tal pie to res of shad roe and those new tailored suit coats like all the women ar wearing this year ilh little hip roofs sticking out be Mnd." II, if you're askin me. 1 d & 'hi a me sight rather be pi root in' along the Kast lrl ve in my own little gaso line go-cart than all spread out on a .lamp slope soppin" up influenza jetms through my pores," said the Mouse I 'elect ive. "Mebbe I wouldn't be able to write no poems on Spring, bin any time I wanted any I could gie a poet a dollar and t i:n me out one to order, quarter to J "Well. I don't know," said the Hotel Clei k. "Sometimes I wish, Larry, that 1 as a poet. I don't mean one of loose sordid, com mere la I poets that sets 0 for thinking up a word that ( w Sit ! i't - - cainc in his campaign for "Biothcr F'iir and will stick to his expensive Job he began last April. Is shown in the prodigal way in which the Taft money is being showered in the dis tricts where even half a fight is being put up by other candidates. Pespite tho announcement that there would bo no Interference with favorite ons in their own states, it is said that Charles P. Taft "as rounders In every state of the I'nion gathering up delegates to tho Chicago convention. It Is known that hardly a day passed without some district that did not instruct for Taft. I'Otig before the fight was put up anywhere the Taft boom took Jumps and hounds in Ohio, financially climb ing to the faOO.Ooo mark, which was th record total of expenditure for the Ma nna -McK in ley campaign. Since the Taft campaign has become fairly on. an additional $70,000 has been tallied up to the Ohio expenses. The reason for the Ohio expenditure topping all the other expenditures was figured out that "Brother Pill" must carry his own state unanimously over Trie nove TOCremeR 11 (ZETTm INSPIRATION will rhyme with Rappahannock for a railroad "ad." but a true poet who can put h is mind above such common eai thly things as board bills and room rent and where he's going to get his next meal a poet that can spurn all thoughts of t he vulgar struggle for mere dross, which is a poet's name for United States currency, I jtrry and Just naturally soar aloft into the starry realms of fancy like a frightened hull-bat. That's the way with Varioloid J. Hicks. He wouldn't make a success as a porch-climber or a pawn broker or a United States Senator; or at any other profession calling for the ability to size up the monetary possibili ties of a proposition off-hand. But as a poet, he's the real Brussels sprouts. He khas no use for money, or very little. No truepoet h3s. When you hear of a poet beinr financially embarrassed, it means he's come into money. "I love to hear Variloid discourse on his art. He puts a sea shell to his ear, and shuts his eyes, and hears the murmur of waves and the dash of breakers, and that'e poetry. I pointed out to him that you can take one of those old-fashioned tin cuspidors and hold H to your ear and get the dash of waves or the dash of or ange bitters or whatever it is, just the same as if it was a sea shell you had. yet that wouldn't be poetry. ' Variloid told me it wouldn't, and he knows if any body does. "A lot dependa on the point of view. Variloid will know Spring is here by the lt:sh green grass, and you and me'll know it s here by the lush green mint julep. For lushing purposes. I regard the julep as having the grass beaten the length of this bar. But Variloid don't think so. He'll co mooning along try ins to pump the opposition of Foraker and Harmon. As an example of the effort put forth to bring about the desired result. Brother Charles placed the Ohio forces in the hands of Arthur I. Vorys. who separated himself from a princely in come to manage the campaign In Ohio that Millionaire Kditor Taft was put ting up. Not satisfied that Vorys could deliver tho goods to a certainty, to make things doubly sure, Henry A. Williams, a well-known lawyer, with an excel len t practice, was annexed to assist Vorys manage the campaign, ft is interesting to speculate just what this Ohio staff with that of Frank H. Hitchcock In Washington Is costing the Cincinnati brother of William H., for no one yet has been found who will stand for the statement that Charles T. Taft is saving a single cent in his campaign for his brother. If yon listen to the anti-Taft pfjple est ima ting the rout up to date of Charles P. Taft for his brother's run for the Presidency they will show you figures close to the million murk. One Cincinnati an who knows Ohio and Ohioans. said. "The published estimates do not begin, to toll the amount 'ailwit Charles P. is spending. He Is an Ideal half-brother, who sticketh closer tnan WITEL SUNDRY ReFL6CriON5 BY IRVJN JTOA A divine afflatus out of his system until a cab or something runs over him. "There's a lot of signs telling me Spring is at hartd that wouldn't appeal to him. I guess it's fine in the country with the nervous young debutante ,hen laying ffce dropped egg and the suburban dairyman figuring on tapping the new aqueduct and enlarging fiis business. The sap by now is mounting upward1 In the water maple and the rah-rah-rah boys. The golden dande lions will coon be buttoning the meadow down- the back. Witi bated breath you will speak to me of young onions, and I will turn my head away, overcome by the rush of reminiscent memories; and together we will promenade to the lunch counter and partake of the new radish, that tastiest of fruits, that sometimes you can taste for hours and hours and hours. "Then, there's another thing that tells me Spring is here. Colonel George Harvey has emerged from his literary hibernation with his annual suggestion for a model newspaper. As explained by Colonel Har vey, the model newspaper will contain no crimes or scandals or divorce suits, such as everybody deplores so deeply and reads so eagerly. It will be a publication such aa you could put into the hands of a young woman with every assurance, and take it away from her again with even greater ease. The only illustration will be a fine view of Greenwood Cemetery on a Monday morning. Its editorial page will be free from sensationalism. There will be a leader on the decline of the stewed prune industry in Southern California, weighing from 12 to 14 pounds, troy weight; a .spirited attack on the pernicious boll weevil, and two chaste Harveyized para graphs, but newr any more. The sport ing department will be edited with the !fO!!QiQl! 0 r a real brother, for it is the wealthy cttixen of Cincinnati who is writing out all the check."" Cincinnati. April fi. Sartorial Sfrns. Clothes should express the Individuality of the wearer. Frank D. Somers, ot Bos ton. Well. If you really think thfy don't. You surely have misunderstood" The game, and vou just bet It won't Put you & trifle to th6 ;ood. For instance, ther" the manly form You ee upon the corner utop. In blue- and brass of unfform: Well, that's the city's pride, a cop. Another, from neckwear to' socks. Is rarmented in hues of Joy That sends throuich you a bunch of shocks An imitation college boy. There's he of garment more subdued. Yet nifty upon him hunp To emphasfze hfs pulchritude t.'m-m-m. he's an old chop being young. The sbBpelesj hat. the wagging coat. The baggy trousers all dnn't care Now not inf rojuentiy denoto Their wearer is a millionaire. Per contra, other chaps appear Tn raiment fresh with each month's span, And then you're not surprised to hear They always owft the tailor man. Indianapolis News. ON JX OVST same care. .. Parties who desire to' know the ration at which. Herr Hans . Wagner is swatting the leather-clad, spheroid with the elongated, hickory cudgel ' must look elsewhere. . Those seeking for expert opin ions as to whether the newest middle weighty champion" has two medlum;sized chunks of yellow in him.like a ; double yolk egg. or one large chunk, like a grape fruit, will be disappointed. Colonel Har vey's sporting page will contain a column devoted to chess problems with exciting diagrams, and a story on the result of the membership contest in the West Side Y. M. C. A. His sporting editor will be Edward K. Bole. ' "The model newspaper- will not be a bulky,, cumbersome thing. It will be a small, compact, well-nigh dainty affair, such as can be folded and slipped In the breast pocket and easily forgotten. By putting a heliotrope .border on the upper edge, and sprinkling it with Florida water, it can be made to pasa for a neat pocket handkerchief.' "But there's just one draw-back, Larry. Its circulation . will be limited. The cir culation will be confined to the faculty of Harvard College, Richard Watson Gil der, and Colonel Harvey's club set. It's going to take a lot of education to wean the masses away from the Sunday news paper that don't contain anything but two or three thousand columns of cable news and specials, and- features, and pic tures and magazine pages, not to mention a cut-out puzzle, a paper toy. a water color painting suitable for framing, comic section, and. the complete words and music of the latest popular song hit' as rendered in the Green Cheese musical comedy entitled. They Used to Call . Me Birdie Because I Had the Thrush. CB6RK ; ft ' L1 A " " M , I y. ,, . ,.. - - .. ' 1 Ill If ' v.K U ' I M .re.. ...... f I - . : n 1 I - - f X v-. . -v-- 3... ; .- . Lvw.w. : . f' j 'i . , , , . t ' - (; . ? , J' ; - i v . . f ft ' , iiinii.uiii i.iiiiii n in. ' ii if-' ' - - -- I ti -v: - .r- v . 1 voevs S. COBB TO J&aZLOZD DISCOURSE ON STB -ART "And I know it's Spring, or approxi mately so, when I stroll up Broadway. The actors that are congested there tell me so. That is to say, they don't tell me in sq many words because no experienced actor is going to waste time talking about the seasons of the year when he can as semble together a patient audience of from one person up and talk about a more congenial and attractive subject, to wit himself. In the intervar between the closing of the road show that didn't pay, and the opening of the Summer stock that's always going to pay, old Si Whit lock has a surcease from telling Ralph Delmore, the. wolf in sheep's clothing, that he tame there with his slick city vest and hie striped ways and stole- the little gal awah. "And so rugged old- Uncle Si and villain ous Ralph and aM the others move right In, and settle along the Big Road, where there's so much passing, and make life the brighter for the rest of us. The old timer who understudied Booth, but was a long way under, is here with the setting of moth eggs nestling beneath -his fur collar, waiting for the warm weather to hatch out; and the veteran scenery-biter that tells the waiter to bring up his eggs of a morning "In a voice like Washing ton's Farewell Address to His Generals; and the lady who contracted spear-carrier's hip in the first Rice's Evangeline company; but who's still good for ingenue if you don't put the accent on the last syllable, and the somber comedian who talks In whispers because some imitator might steal the stuff that he stoje from Mclntyre and Heath in the Fall of '97, and the newly-snared show girl with the startled-doe eye and the Dutch cheese complexion red for the first coat and spring-. AND COMMENT 1 then a high polish put on afterwards they are all with us in the spring-time, Larry." "Is Spring your favorite season?' asked the House Detective. "It i.s until it comes, and then it ain't," said the Hotel Clerk. "And that's the way with nearly everybody else except the Variloid J. Hiekses.' Mind Care for Disease. Harper's Bazar. We are asked to believe, then, that we can - modify our temperaments, that we can eliminate their faults and cultivate their virtues. Belonging to a certain type, that is. we can learn what the laws of harmony are for us. and having learned, we can live without struggle happily and healthfully. Just why this serenity is such a good ideal we do not always know. We need the enlightening wisdom of a medical Daniel to tell us that tight and fuss and worry in our own mind cause our nervous disease. A Wall street broker In the recent panic, when he saw his for tune to the last dollar slipping out of existence, said, cheerfully: "Well, I began with a shoestring once, and I can do it again." If we could all meet our emer gencies in such a spirit, the nerve spe cialists would have few patients. But most of us would have to acquire by pa tient practice such a joyful indifference to misfortune. Neither is it the great crises that are always hardest to meet. We. too, can bear them sometimes with a forti tude that Is not far short of heroism. It Is 'the little, petty, nagging things that tease us and wear us out. Alcohol Oddities. Anecdotes of alcoholism were being nar rated by a little group of physicians at the recent convention In Chicago of the American Association for the Advance ment of Science. "One of my alcoholic patients steals when drunk," said a- i'hiladHphian. "You should pco tho trophies ho bring hotnr. His valet is eonl inually sneaking off of mornings with great pa per parcels -overcoats, umbrellas. silver spoon s clocfts that his master, trembling in fear of arrcHt, has begged him to get rid of somehow." "1 have patients," said a New York specialist in dipsomania, "who in their intoxication steal only particular things. One man, an a cnost ie, stcalwx Bibb a. A woman steals gimlets. A young spinster steals baby things little shoes and frcka. bottle.s and rattles, once, even a peram bulator." "I had a case, an old lady," said a Kansan, "that f had worked over H years. A hopeless cjihc, it seemed. Hut she had lost her mmey. and then tiny began to arrest her as a 'common drunk.' Well, after she had been arrested a !'r,-n tfmfs or fit, the manistrate said he wa ' tired of seeing her about, and inntriictf-d the police to take her to the river, when ever they found her drunk, and give her a cold dip. By Jove, Hint cured her. Two coid dips cured her. She has been sober now, my old patient, almost three years." Tribute to the Pancake. Leslie's Weekly. A Frenchman noted for his fondness or good eating and well known In the fash ionable restaurants of New York, was asked at a popular club by a New York friend recently what, in his judgment, was the most delicious and distinctive American dish. Without a moment's hesi tation the French visitor replied: "The only distinctive American dish that I have found in your country is the one that inprves to be put on tho list at le;ist be fore all others, is your 'buckwheat cak-'s." We have various kinds of pancakes abroad, most of them palatable and ap petizing and many of them exnensive, hut your 'buckwheat cakes' excel anything of the kind that I have ever tasted. Bet ter than all. they are within the reach of every on and constitute one of your cheapest choicest browned dash of as well as one or your foods. The I;ght. well buckwheat cake.' with a honey or ma.pl" or karo syrup over it. is the most delicious, wholesome and satisfying breakfast mor sel that the world offers. We have nothing to surpass it in our country, and it is a pity that it is so common with -your people that they do not always rec ognize its merit. One of the pleasure of my regular Winter trip to the State.' is the expectation of getting once mor In touch with your famous 'buckwhea cakes.' " The Old Stove. Detroit Krff fresF. We have a furnace in our hous- The parlor stove is taken 'ut; Pa doesn't like it half o well. With nothing to sit around about. Ho misse the old stove, he say, Because he has no pla.-e to throw His burnt out niat.-hes any more; Right In the stove they used to go. Whatever father didn't want. From matches to an apple core. He used to put !nide the stave. Now he can't do that an more. Ma makes him keep an ash tray near. He has no pla-e to rap hf pip; Thre fs no comfort. - father san, In furnaces of modern type. He mlsse that old stove so much The top of it he used to swing And on t he coal cl nar stumps went. It n as a most convenient thing. The furnace warms us through and through Rut father kicks most every night, Heraue h has no plaof to throw- t The stuff that should be out of sight
