TUB SUA DAY OREGON IAN. PORTLAND, APRIL 12. 1908.
WM PUT UP A MIIMOM FOR MS
di - ILJ I! BR 1 H rBHOlLI IU IB 711
Ctiaklds t taft or cwcinnoti pourjno out money
L1KD VvATER TO ' ADVANCE VAhW&iS FOLlIlGtt rORTUNDS
, ' 'V PI I!
s V VZtl
: :
TMi: AtatoTnoMtH that if William H.
Tn ft Is rlri-tftl I'rfsiilcnt of the
I'nitod Stntrs it will hv the result
f t hi c pcml it nro of over h ni il hnn
.1.M:u-s l.y hta littto ha If -lirotnor.
I'hnrh.s P. Tiift. in (,'hu-innnt who hasf
hi'Oii work ins1 for yours to mnko hta
hrothor fiiinous in fho polittrnl li:nr
Mpltt, and that tin Taft campaign has
snnr iluwn t ti the annals a tlio nust
rpoiiMivr rvor wafoil for a I'rosiiif-n-li.tl
aiiiiiiliitr. pro dno to tin Niagara
tf wt-alth tho nucii" il irnthrr of tlio
W ar j-Vr.-i tary is tnrntuff into the ca'ii
pa ku to la ml his favorite hfc'f
hrotlirr into the hiffhest offirp of tho
l:ino The ppnJ i t ur alrondy niado by
( h;irtcs I. Taft is about ten ttm's that
of all the othiT ran dlates combined.
I "rart iral Jy all f the money spen t in
thr Taft boom so far has been fur
nished out of the pnrket of tho lit tie
'im tuna t ian. in il 1 'on a ire owner and
editor of the ( 'i mi una t i newspaper
whi'h first anuounred the randidary
of thr S' i rtary of War sonic twelve
months aso.
That Charles P. Taft in Koinff to h(
(i
V
r. lifLUM) J. HICKS was in here
while uro," said the Hotel
Clerk, as he met the House
1 etoct ive I u their favorite corner of
the St. Kockless Cafe.
"Who's he?" inquired the House le
(c t ive. "I lis name sounds like a
sy mptom."
"lie's a poet." said tlio Hotel Clerk.
"I srave hint a dollar to pet his laundry
out. . H'" was wearing a collar with a
border on it like a mourning envelope,
lies put a had cold."
"1 had a bad cold myself last week,
ind 1 ain't no poet, at that." said the
House !etective.
"I know." said the Motel Clerk. "Hut
Yariloiii jr-n his sitting; on the hilKide
in Central Park, wlute the scft unci
r'racrnnt grass is crowing-, er -.vill he
in a month from now if we have irood
'uck with tlie weather. A sparrow
.op shooed hint awav in time ;o save
him from pneumonia, hut lie's got a
loveiy i-old that, with the proper care.
iMtjclit to last him until time for it to
mrrso imperceptibly into hay fever."
"Wot in thunder wuz he si:tin' on
the ground up in the park for?" in
tui red t he I louse I'etect ive. "A
bahy'd know better'n that."
' V baby- might, but a poet wouldn't."
said the Hotel Clerk. "Not a true
poot like Variloid. Ho was sitting
t lie re upon the green rward. only ?ts
not green yet, but elioco late -colored.
watching t? e nodding flowerlets am?
getting inspirations for a poem."
" 1 eres any noddin" flowerlets. or
flower lettuces, cither, in Central Park
ibis time of year?" asked tne House
1 et'ct ive.
"Chi t!:c hats of the ladies that were
driving past." said the Hotel Clerk.
"OodN-s ot 'em. They were swirling
by in their little neck cabs and their
gravy-boat victorias and their little
hot lobster now burg automobiles, and
he was sit tine on the only grass he
on Id tir.d one tender young blade,
two inehe long beholding them
swirl. They were pitying Variloid be
lanse he was w( aring that two-tone
collar I told you about Just now. and
i eoat with, cicier erfeets along the
eamr ; and he was pitying them be
eacse t eey couldn't see anything in
the promise of budding Springtime,
e ecpt men tal pie to res of shad roe
and those new tailored suit coats like
all the women ar wearing this year
ilh little hip roofs sticking out be
Mnd." II, if you're askin me. 1 d &
'hi a me sight rather be pi root in' along
the Kast lrl ve in my own little gaso
line go-cart than all spread out on a
.lamp slope soppin" up influenza
jetms through my pores," said the
Mouse I 'elect ive. "Mebbe I wouldn't
be able to write no poems on Spring,
bin any time I wanted any I could
gie a poet a dollar and
t i:n me out one to order,
quarter to J
"Well. I don't know," said the Hotel
Clei k. "Sometimes I wish, Larry, that
1 as a poet. I don't mean one of
loose sordid, com mere la I poets that
sets 0 for thinking up a word that
( w Sit
! i't - -
cainc in his campaign for "Biothcr
F'iir and will stick to his expensive
Job he began last April. Is shown in
the prodigal way in which the Taft
money is being showered in the dis
tricts where even half a fight is being
put up by other candidates. Pespite
tho announcement that there would bo
no Interference with favorite ons in
their own states, it is said that Charles
P. Taft "as rounders In every state of
the I'nion gathering up delegates to
tho Chicago convention. It Is known
that hardly a day passed without some
district that did not instruct for Taft.
I'Otig before the fight was put up
anywhere the Taft boom took Jumps
and hounds in Ohio, financially climb
ing to the faOO.Ooo mark, which was
th record total of expenditure for the
Ma nna -McK in ley campaign. Since the
Taft campaign has become fairly on.
an additional $70,000 has been tallied
up to the Ohio expenses.
The reason for the Ohio expenditure
topping all the other expenditures was
figured out that "Brother Pill" must
carry his own state unanimously over
Trie nove
TOCremeR
11
(ZETTm INSPIRATION
will rhyme with Rappahannock for a
railroad "ad." but a true poet who can
put h is mind above such common
eai thly things as board bills and room
rent and where he's going to get his next
meal a poet that can spurn all thoughts
of t he vulgar struggle for mere dross,
which is a poet's name for United States
currency, I jtrry and Just naturally soar
aloft into the starry realms of fancy like
a frightened hull-bat. That's the way
with Varioloid J. Hicks. He wouldn't
make a success as a porch-climber or a
pawn broker or a United States Senator;
or at any other profession calling for the
ability to size up the monetary possibili
ties of a proposition off-hand. But as a
poet, he's the real Brussels sprouts. He
khas no use for money, or very little. No
truepoet h3s. When you hear of a poet
beinr financially embarrassed, it means
he's come into money.
"I love to hear Variloid discourse on
his art. He puts a sea shell to his ear,
and shuts his eyes, and hears the murmur
of waves and the dash of breakers, and
that'e poetry. I pointed out to him that
you can take one of those old-fashioned
tin cuspidors and hold H to your ear and
get the dash of waves or the dash of or
ange bitters or whatever it is, just the
same as if it was a sea shell you had.
yet that wouldn't be poetry. ' Variloid
told me it wouldn't, and he knows if any
body does.
"A lot dependa on the point of view.
Variloid will know Spring is here by the
lt:sh green grass, and you and me'll know
it s here by the lush green mint julep.
For lushing purposes. I regard the julep
as having the grass beaten the length of
this bar. But Variloid don't think so.
He'll co mooning along try ins to pump
the opposition of Foraker and Harmon.
As an example of the effort put forth
to bring about the desired result.
Brother Charles placed the Ohio forces
in the hands of Arthur I. Vorys. who
separated himself from a princely in
come to manage the campaign In Ohio
that Millionaire Kditor Taft was put
ting up. Not satisfied that Vorys could
deliver tho goods to a certainty, to
make things doubly sure, Henry A.
Williams, a well-known lawyer, with
an excel len t practice, was annexed to
assist Vorys manage the campaign, ft
is interesting to speculate just what
this Ohio staff with that of Frank H.
Hitchcock In Washington Is costing
the Cincinnati brother of William H.,
for no one yet has been found who will
stand for the statement that Charles
T. Taft is saving a single cent in his
campaign for his brother.
If yon listen to the anti-Taft pfjple
est ima ting the rout up to date of
Charles P. Taft for his brother's run
for the Presidency they will show you
figures close to the million murk. One
Cincinnati an who knows Ohio and
Ohioans. said. "The published estimates
do not begin, to toll the amount 'ailwit
Charles P. is spending. He Is an Ideal
half-brother, who sticketh closer tnan
WITEL SUNDRY ReFL6CriON5
BY IRVJN
JTOA A
divine afflatus out of his system until a
cab or something runs over him.
"There's a lot of signs telling me Spring
is at hartd that wouldn't appeal to him.
I guess it's fine in the country with the
nervous young debutante ,hen laying ffce
dropped egg and the suburban dairyman
figuring on tapping the new aqueduct and
enlarging fiis business. The sap by now is
mounting upward1 In the water maple and
the rah-rah-rah boys. The golden dande
lions will coon be buttoning the meadow
down- the back. Witi bated breath you
will speak to me of young onions, and I
will turn my head away, overcome by
the rush of reminiscent memories; and
together we will promenade to the lunch
counter and partake of the new radish,
that tastiest of fruits, that sometimes you
can taste for hours and hours and hours.
"Then, there's another thing that tells
me Spring is here. Colonel George Harvey
has emerged from his literary hibernation
with his annual suggestion for a model
newspaper. As explained by Colonel Har
vey, the model newspaper will contain no
crimes or scandals or divorce suits, such
as everybody deplores so deeply and reads
so eagerly. It will be a publication such
aa you could put into the hands of a
young woman with every assurance, and
take it away from her again with even
greater ease. The only illustration will
be a fine view of Greenwood Cemetery on
a Monday morning. Its editorial page will
be free from sensationalism. There will
be a leader on the decline of the stewed
prune industry in Southern California,
weighing from 12 to 14 pounds, troy weight;
a .spirited attack on the pernicious boll
weevil, and two chaste Harveyized para
graphs, but newr any more. The sport
ing department will be edited with the
!fO!!QiQl! 0
r
a real brother, for it is the wealthy
cttixen of Cincinnati who is writing out
all the check.""
Cincinnati. April fi.
Sartorial Sfrns.
Clothes should express the Individuality
of the wearer. Frank D. Somers, ot Bos
ton. Well. If you really think thfy don't.
You surely have misunderstood"
The game, and vou just bet It won't
Put you & trifle to th6 ;ood.
For instance, ther" the manly form
You ee upon the corner utop.
In blue- and brass of unfform:
Well, that's the city's pride, a cop.
Another, from neckwear to' socks.
Is rarmented in hues of Joy
That sends throuich you a bunch of shocks
An imitation college boy.
There's he of garment more subdued.
Yet nifty upon him hunp
To emphasfze hfs pulchritude
t.'m-m-m. he's an old chop being young.
The sbBpelesj hat. the wagging coat.
The baggy trousers all dnn't care
Now not inf rojuentiy denoto
Their wearer is a millionaire.
Per contra, other chaps appear
Tn raiment fresh with each month's span,
And then you're not surprised to hear
They always owft the tailor man.
Indianapolis News.
ON
JX OVST
same care. .. Parties who desire to' know
the ration at which. Herr Hans . Wagner
is swatting the leather-clad, spheroid with
the elongated, hickory cudgel ' must look
elsewhere. . Those seeking for expert opin
ions as to whether the newest middle
weighty champion" has two medlum;sized
chunks of yellow in him.like a ; double
yolk egg. or one large chunk, like a grape
fruit, will be disappointed. Colonel Har
vey's sporting page will contain a column
devoted to chess problems with exciting
diagrams, and a story on the result of
the membership contest in the West Side
Y. M. C. A. His sporting editor will be
Edward K. Bole. '
"The model newspaper- will not be a
bulky,, cumbersome thing. It will be a
small, compact, well-nigh dainty affair,
such as can be folded and slipped In the
breast pocket and easily forgotten. By
putting a heliotrope .border on the upper
edge, and sprinkling it with Florida
water, it can be made to pasa for a neat
pocket handkerchief.'
"But there's just one draw-back, Larry.
Its circulation . will be limited. The cir
culation will be confined to the faculty
of Harvard College, Richard Watson Gil
der, and Colonel Harvey's club set. It's
going to take a lot of education to wean
the masses away from the Sunday news
paper that don't contain anything but
two or three thousand columns of cable
news and specials, and- features, and pic
tures and magazine pages, not to mention
a cut-out puzzle, a paper toy. a water
color painting suitable for framing,
comic section, and. the complete words
and music of the latest popular song hit'
as rendered in the Green Cheese musical
comedy entitled. They Used to Call . Me
Birdie Because I Had the Thrush.
CB6RK
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voevs
S. COBB
TO J&aZLOZD DISCOURSE ON STB -ART
"And I know it's Spring, or approxi
mately so, when I stroll up Broadway.
The actors that are congested there tell
me so. That is to say, they don't tell me
in sq many words because no experienced
actor is going to waste time talking about
the seasons of the year when he can as
semble together a patient audience of
from one person up and talk about a more
congenial and attractive subject, to wit
himself. In the intervar between the
closing of the road show that didn't pay,
and the opening of the Summer stock
that's always going to pay, old Si Whit
lock has a surcease from telling Ralph
Delmore, the. wolf in sheep's clothing,
that he tame there with his slick city
vest and hie striped ways and stole- the
little gal awah.
"And so rugged old- Uncle Si and villain
ous Ralph and aM the others move right
In, and settle along the Big Road, where
there's so much passing, and make life
the brighter for the rest of us. The old
timer who understudied Booth, but was
a long way under, is here with the setting
of moth eggs nestling beneath -his fur
collar, waiting for the warm weather to
hatch out; and the veteran scenery-biter
that tells the waiter to bring up his eggs
of a morning "In a voice like Washing
ton's Farewell Address to His Generals;
and the lady who contracted spear-carrier's
hip in the first Rice's Evangeline
company; but who's still good for ingenue
if you don't put the accent on the last
syllable, and the somber comedian who
talks In whispers because some imitator
might steal the stuff that he stoje from
Mclntyre and Heath in the Fall of '97,
and the newly-snared show girl with the
startled-doe eye and the Dutch cheese
complexion red for the first coat and
spring-.
AND COMMENT
1
then a high polish put on afterwards
they are all with us in the spring-time,
Larry."
"Is Spring your favorite season?' asked
the House Detective.
"It i.s until it comes, and then it ain't,"
said the Hotel Clerk. "And that's the
way with nearly everybody else except
the Variloid J. Hiekses.'
Mind Care for Disease.
Harper's Bazar.
We are asked to believe, then, that we
can - modify our temperaments, that we
can eliminate their faults and cultivate
their virtues. Belonging to a certain type,
that is. we can learn what the laws of
harmony are for us. and having learned,
we can live without struggle happily and
healthfully. Just why this serenity is
such a good ideal we do not always know.
We need the enlightening wisdom of a
medical Daniel to tell us that tight and
fuss and worry in our own mind cause
our nervous disease. A Wall street broker
In the recent panic, when he saw his for
tune to the last dollar slipping out of
existence, said, cheerfully: "Well, I began
with a shoestring once, and I can do it
again." If we could all meet our emer
gencies in such a spirit, the nerve spe
cialists would have few patients. But
most of us would have to acquire by pa
tient practice such a joyful indifference to
misfortune. Neither is it the great crises
that are always hardest to meet. We. too,
can bear them sometimes with a forti
tude that Is not far short of heroism. It
Is 'the little, petty, nagging things that
tease us and wear us out.
Alcohol Oddities.
Anecdotes of alcoholism were being nar
rated by a little group of physicians at
the recent convention In Chicago of the
American Association for the Advance
ment of Science.
"One of my alcoholic patients steals
when drunk," said a- i'hiladHphian. "You
should pco tho trophies ho bring hotnr.
His valet is eonl inually sneaking off of
mornings with great pa per parcels -overcoats,
umbrellas. silver spoon s
clocfts that his master, trembling in
fear of arrcHt, has begged him to get rid
of somehow."
"1 have patients," said a New York
specialist in dipsomania, "who in their
intoxication steal only particular things.
One man, an a cnost ie, stcalwx Bibb a. A
woman steals gimlets. A young spinster
steals baby things little shoes and frcka.
bottle.s and rattles, once, even a peram
bulator." "I had a case, an old lady," said a
Kansan, "that f had worked over H
years. A hopeless cjihc, it seemed. Hut
she had lost her mmey. and then tiny
began to arrest her as a 'common drunk.'
Well, after she had been arrested a !'r,-n
tfmfs or fit, the manistrate said he wa '
tired of seeing her about, and inntriictf-d
the police to take her to the river, when
ever they found her drunk, and give her
a cold dip. By Jove, Hint cured her. Two
coid dips cured her. She has been sober
now, my old patient, almost three years."
Tribute to the Pancake.
Leslie's Weekly.
A Frenchman noted for his fondness or
good eating and well known In the fash
ionable restaurants of New York, was
asked at a popular club by a New York
friend recently what, in his judgment,
was the most delicious and distinctive
American dish. Without a moment's hesi
tation the French visitor replied: "The
only distinctive American dish that I
have found in your country is the one that
inprves to be put on tho list at le;ist be
fore all others, is your 'buckwheat cak-'s."
We have various kinds of pancakes
abroad, most of them palatable and ap
petizing and many of them exnensive, hut
your 'buckwheat cakes' excel anything
of the kind that I have ever tasted. Bet
ter than all. they are within the reach of
every on and constitute one of your
cheapest
choicest
browned
dash of
as well as one or your
foods. The I;ght. well
buckwheat cake.' with a
honey or ma.pl" or karo
syrup over it. is the most delicious,
wholesome and satisfying breakfast mor
sel that the world offers. We have
nothing to surpass it in our country, and
it is a pity that it is so common with -your
people that they do not always rec
ognize its merit. One of the pleasure
of my regular Winter trip to the State.'
is the expectation of getting once mor
In touch with your famous 'buckwhea
cakes.' "
The Old Stove.
Detroit Krff fresF.
We have a furnace in our hous-
The parlor stove is taken 'ut;
Pa doesn't like it half o well.
With nothing to sit around about.
Ho misse the old stove, he say,
Because he has no pla.-e to throw
His burnt out niat.-hes any more;
Right In the stove they used to go.
Whatever father didn't want.
From matches to an apple core.
He used to put !nide the stave.
Now he can't do that an more.
Ma makes him keep an ash tray near.
He has no pla-e to rap hf pip;
Thre fs no comfort. - father san,
In furnaces of modern type.
He mlsse that old stove so much
The top of it he used to swing
And on t he coal cl nar stumps went.
It n as a most convenient thing.
The furnace warms us through and through
Rut father kicks most every night,
Heraue h has no plaof to throw-
t The stuff that should be out of sight