Oregon City enterprise., May 16, 1902, Image 6

4,
ORKGON CITY KXTKiilitlSi:, KH1PAY MAY I". !- ; I
AI50UT HAS METERS.
tVHY THESE ERRATIC INSTRUMENTS
DO NOT EXPLODE.
lark Ha Accident l o More l.lkelr
to Happen to Thrm Thnn to Milk
Until.-, or Suit llnu What Dor
Happen 'u Citae ( l-'lre.
The prononess of the average news
pnpor reporter to attribute collar con
lagrations to the explosion of gas mo
tors represents what appears to be an
Ineradicable raw trait. No amount of
contradiction ami no accumulation of
proof that such an accident In au Im
possibility seems to reach the news
patuotvrs. who go. on reporting the ex
plosion of gas meters, doubtless be
cause the ttremen have a tradition that
meters are explosive and give this ex
planation of every fire which they can
not otherwise account for.
For the reassurance of nervous peo
ple ll gives us pleasure to say that no
gas meter ever exploded since the
world began, and until they are made
on very different plans and contain
gas of very different composition from
that now used for illuminating pur
poses such nu accident Is no more like
ly to happen to them than to milk bot
tles or salt bags.
The domestic gas meter has a more
or less well deserved reputation for
habitual mendacity, though as likely
to lie against the gas company as for
It: but It lias never done anything to
warrant the suspdon that It Is liable
to go off with a ban;;. It Is a tin box
of a little less than one cubic foot
capacity, put together with soldered
seams and Japanned.
Into and through It passes the gas,
which enters through the service pipe
connecting the nmiu with the house,
usually of half an Inch diameter. It
has very little capacity for gas storage,
and Is not strong enough to carry gas
under a greater compression than, say,
half a pound per square Inch. More
than this would bulge Its sides. In
point of fact the pressure of gas In
meters Is rarely more than enough to
balance a column of water two or three I
Inches high.
If a gas meter Is exposed to great
heat from external tire, nothing very
serious happens. The soldered seams
will probably melt, allowing he gas
to escape. This gas is not explosive,
however. It becomes so only when
mixed with air in certain definite pro
portions. Should this "idmixture "exist In a
meter, which is almost Impossible, Its
shell is not strong enough to offer any
great resistance, and should an ex
plosion occur by reason of fire reach
ing this admixture of gas and air the
meter would be wrecked, but It is
doubtful of any other damage would
result. None hps beeu wrecked from
th'a tause.-
If the seams of the meter are opened
by the melting of the solder or by frac
ture from accident, the gas within It
would escape, aud. if It had the chance,
burn. Outside the meter It might have
opportunity to form the explosive mix
ture with air aud do some damage.
What actually happens In the case
of fires attributed to the explosion of
gas meters is usually this: Gas which
has leaked from defective pipes or
worked into the cellar from broken or
defective street mains accumulates In
pockets formed by rafters and else
where and remains there until It comes
In contact with an accidental fire
of some sort. A fire starts In the cel
lar and the temperature gradually rises
until the smoldering rubbish bursts In
to flame. This reaches the mixture of
gas and air along ti e ceiling aud an
explosion follows.
The meter, naturally enough, 's
thrown down and probably torn from
Its connections, and the conclusion If
reached that. Instead ( being the vic
tim of the accident, the Inoiiensive me
ter Is the cause of all the tro"ble and
has ludulged Its Inherent propensity to
set the bouse afire after lifting It from
Its foundations.
It Is a perfectly safe generalization
that the eas which makes trouble In
cellars Is wholly outside the meter and
nevpr Inside of It Grindstones some
times explode with fatal results In saw
factories, but the excellent old ladv
who, after reading of such an accident
and recalling that there was an old
grindstone In one corner of the cellar
which bad been there twenty years,
blred a couple of tramps to carry It to
the extreme corner of the garden and
pour water on It for an hour, mean
while giving thanks that It had not
blown herself and family lno eternity
"unbeknownst to any of us." was of
the type of those who. through fear of
gas meter explosions, are all their life
time subject to nervous chills.
There Is not a gas meter in use under
which it would not be perfectly safe
to build a bonfire, provided, of course,
there was cot a quantity of gas out
side of It which the same fire could
reach. New York Times.
Chios Battle nil Mouch.
In general, we live beneath a sky
within a sky, ami our funereal pall,!
QUAINT COLLEGE LAWS.
while It occasionally lightens, seldom
lifts altogether. Whether the newcomer
approaches along the bluffs and ravines
of the north or through the swamps
aud marshes of the south or over the
wide stretching prairies of the west
the dun trappings of the great horror
show from afar. As he rattles i.Iong
through perky suburban settlements
or honest truck farms or half dried
swales aud disheveled swamps the
horror grows.
Across the wide fields-gay with this
year's (lowers or somber with last
year's weeds separating the raw bud
dies of workers' cottages, tangles of
telegraph polos and of trolley wires,
load on the eye toward ugly, hIiuh
loss hulks looming above the dingy
horlzoti foundries, elevators, machine
shops, breweries, factories. Icehouses
detached notes that preclude the great
discord to come. Then avenues of
tracks, shut In by the shameless backs
of things and spanned by grimy via
ducts; arrays of ineau streets doggedly
curtained agnlnst the gun and resolute
ly fighting off the sweet country airs.
The heart sinks, the stomach re
volts as, through dirt, dust, grime, soot,
smoke and cinders the trembling neo
phyte bumps and Jars along toward
the besmirched shrine of the two faced
goddess of Hustle aud Slouch. Henry
1$. Fuller lu Outlook.
I'ortaiiurae llolrl tini-Ua,
It Is the fashion for Portuguese
clocks to strike the hour twice over.
Heaven only knows why, for certainly
the x'oplc are not so keen about the
.1:1. .1.1.. ..... ..f O...I fill... til, it I
rcculre ,0 be romlndod thus of IM i ''''" !'". l'"" TL
1 1 1 .1 1 1
1 Iranian lMraaatil.
It Is hiiUI that tbf Nomian peaNiinlH
it.... ..r ii.r. 1,11 iiiuiii 11 liniM'.v sclioiui'
Holes ITfirriniiiH --- - . -i - -
. ...... It. Ilaia. i.',,.- ,1,. Manlinssalll
liru nmwi - - ,, .
tp -I..... im r.-MiMlng Ntudeiiti' tallied near his homo at l.lrotiit a riiii;
dross which prevailed at Harvard up to Lit warren of 11 few ''
Mills- to plant
of llcccluit
who OlICO IIUllll-
... 1 my
A ha aril fashions.
Some of the fashions In France dur
lng the rehjtn of Queen Marie were ex
coedlngly absurd, particularly hair-
dressing and bats, which were trim
mod with such an extravagant wealth
of feathers that the coaches had to
have their seats lowered. According
to Mme. Cam pan, "mothers and bus
bunds murmured, and the general ru
tuor was that the queen would rulu the
French ladles."
One day Louis XVI. decided to for
bid the court lu a body to follow the
royal hunt In coaches. In order to be
freer he wished only to permit real
sportsmen to attend. The noble la
dles Immediately rebelled, and the
Princess of Monaco criticised the dec!
slon by means of her headdress, upon
which arose a miniature royal coach.
followed by two gentlemen on foot In
gaiters. On the left of this was dis
played a cypress gafiiished with black
tears, the large roots being formed of
crape.
More absurd still was the h.tlrdresg-
Ing of the mother of Louis Philippe,
uiHin whose bead every one could ad
mire her son, the Due de Heaujolals.
In the arms of his nurse as well as a
parrot pecking at a cherry.
fight. The habit Is apt to be Irritating
especially lu the night, when your boil,
I! l.o enough n straw mutt reus and a I
bran pillow, chances to be near cue of j
these monsters which dings Its four
nail twenty strokes at midnight, wl(h
K pause between the dozens which
merely stimulates eootatlon. If then'
are live clocks In the establishment, all
with sonorous works-and the supposl-
tlon Is reasonable they will, of course, I
differ widely, so thut twenty four may 1
bo striking, with Intervals, during a! were bin
maddening half hour.
You may happen to want to know
badly which one of the monsters Is the
least mendacious, and the bolls at your
hod head communicate with two serv
ants, one a G nth go and the other a
Portuguese. In such a case ring for tint
despised stranger without hesitation,
lie will be with you In a minute, fresh
and mulling, though half naked, and
If he distrusts his own Judgment about
the clocks be will not mind saying no
aud hasten to awaken the landlord
himself rather than that you should
remain In doubt
I regret to add that bis more conceit
ed follow servant will mote probably
say whatever first comes to his tongue,
more heedful of his own comfort than
of your desires. Chambers' Journal.
I by two eighteenth century waisi-
coals which are among the collcctlnlii
or the Boston Art museum. '"o wan
worn by 11 member of the class of KI'J
and the oilier by his sou 111 KM.
The latter waistcoat Is olive green 111
color, confirming to I be college regula
tions, which required either blue gray,
plain black, "u."i!.eon" a kind of huff
- or olle. The co it and brooches which
originally went with It. as one may
read In the old time Harvard "laws."
gray. Freshmen of that date
were allowed only plain butlonlioles.
sophomores leaped to the dignity of
having bullous on their cuffs. Junior
might have Inexpensive frog to t In'! r
imtioiiluucs OMcpi mat uiej iiiiui
IIHI-ll
choice Vfgi'tal'iea nun i"
hIii nbs In the adjoining ucuis, "'
cry ear lo Maupinsiiht had to pay
for ihe damage done by M rabbli".
After a few ''" ho got tired of till
' ... ..f tMi.ii He computed Unit "in
.,1,1,11a 10 hot cost IMIll
few
about
. I.
f.M apiece, which wn rumor too 1101.
even for 1111 outhnshille kmh Uuiiin In
pay; so ho delet uiliml to d. atroy hi
gain.' preserve. There were old)' four
or live burrow In tin' liicourc, and n
few fein ts t ll dislodged all Hi" l'l
habllaiils.
duo night after the rabbits had I
lloHtrov.d the wilier happened to vlalt
Ills former preserve lllid detected 11
man skulking "long ""dor the Irooa,
ulili Inn.-.' bug slung over III" ahold-
have them on Ihelr cliff buttonhole, j ,jer ' he Maupassant Mippted that tlm
A Matter of Opinion,
She had been having fun with Dude
kins a long time, and he made up what
mind he bad to get even. It took the
form of a brilliant and cogent conun
drum, whose answer hudeklns thought
was locked In his manly bosom.
"I have a conundrum for you. Miss
Fannie." be said, when he saw her
next.
"Ah," she replied, "what Is It? Who
gave It to you?"
"I made It up myself." he asserted.
bridling somewhat.
"Indeed? What Is It?"
"Why are my clothes like the moon?"
She hesitated for a moment uud
Dudekins began to look triumphant.
"You may think." she said slowly,
aud hudeklns somehow felt the sand
slipping from under him. "It Is be
cause they have a man In them, and
you have a perfect right to think as
you ploa.se, but, Mr. hudeklns, opinions
differ." London Tlt-Blts.
War Snow la Not Black or Red.
Why Is the snow white? Is a ques
tion frequently asked. Because black
snow would be dangerous; so would
red or yellow. These are "warming
up colors." and they change the sun's
rays to heat. Such snow would soon
melt again aud prove a very poor pro
tection. But white snow throws back
the sunlight In Just the form In which
It receives It. and thus the snow can be '
Ions on the ground. Throw dirt on ,
the snow and its dark color quickly
iMiucB 11 tui 110 nay 111 ui-ueei lur
sun shines on It. After a snowstorm,
once let the horses' feet mingle the
dirt of the rood with the snow and
sleighing will soon be over. Professor
8. C. Scbmucker in Ladies' Home
Journal.
Zrno's Paradox.
Many persons will recoil the famous
paradox of Zeno by which he sought
to prove that all motion Is Impossible.
"A body." be argued, "must move
either In a place where It Is or In a
place where It Is not Now, a body lu
the place where It Is is stationary and
cannot be In motion, nor, obviously,
can It be In motion In the place where
It Is not Therefore it cannot move at
all."
Bodies do move, however, and that
Is a sufficient answer to the Ingenious
philosopher.
Had Better Storr.
"Did you see the account of that
flash of lightning that burned the hair
from a boy's head without otherwise
hurting him?"
"I did," auswered the cheerful liar,
"and I was pained to note the Incom
pleteness of the story. Now. I happen
to know of a case that Is really re
markable. The llgntnlng entered a bar
ber's shop and not only undertook the
task of singeing a man's hair, but It
rung up the proper amount on the cash
register." Exchange.
The Last Gladiatorial t'oi-ff.at.
Gladiatorial games wore prohibited
by an edict of the Kmporor Constan
tino In A. I. li-.'. but from some cause,
probably the loudly expressed disap
probation of the people, the edict was
allowed to fall Into disuse, and Its pen
alties were ucvor visited on Its vio
lators, huring the reign of Hoiiorlus
the defeat of the Goths In Italy was
celebrated by games, but In the midst
of the fights lu the amphitheater of
Vespasian a monk named Tclemachus
found his way Into the arena and part
ed the combatants with a large pro
cessional cross.
The populace swarmed over the bar
ricades and tore the monk to pieces,
but the moral effect of the heroic act
was permanent, and lu A. I. -H'-i au
Imperial edict abolished gladiatorial
sports In the Coliseum and shortly aft
er throughout the Human empire. The
fight stopped by Tolomachus was the
last In the Coliseum, anil that stricture
Is now consecrated to the honor of
Tclemachus and the Christian martyrs
who perished In the persecutions by
Nero aud other emperors.
aud the senior enjoyed frogs, billion
holes and buttons complete. Seniors
and Juniors were permitted nNu to
wear black tfonl gowns, such as are
w orn at graduation today, and a "ulglit
gown." or dressing gown, was per
missible 011 i ill : 1 ! 1 1 unimportant ocoii
slons. It cost "not inure than l shll
Hues" for every appearance of gold or
sllv er adornment.
The rules of costume were changed,
of course, from thne to lluie. lu S1I
for example, the prest llbed dress con
sisted of a I 1 : 1 k in!ed cunt, slngio
breasted, "with a rolling eupe squiii"
at the end .1 11 1 1 with poekel Maps. I'ie
waist reaching to the natural waist.
With lapels of the smile length." It is
explained that "bho k mixed." called
also fonl iiiImsI. was black wltli lint
more than cue Iw etilieili nor less tlrin
one twenty llttli part of while. The
senior was allowed to support bis dig
nity Willi three "crow's feet" of blink
t-llk cord on Die lower p.nt of bis coat
sleeve. Two crow s feet w ere permitted
to the Junior, one to (lie sophomore urn!
none at all to the freslnnnti. The wulsl
coat was of black mixed or of black or,
w hen of cotton i,r linen fabric, of w hlle;
single breasted, with a standing collar.
The pantaloons were of black mixed.
man had come to "bid waul aud thai
longed him. The supposed thief took
to Ills heels, leaving behind It t tit his
bag. which was found lo bo tilled with
rabbits of both aekea. The IlillU WM
nn honest lielghlxir. who, aluevvdly
reasoning that there could be no dam
ages If tlure Worn lei rabblla, had
thought It ndvlmiblii to realm's the
w arren himself.
Wrung At nlit,
I noli n 1 1
Who w is tl at
Impudent little
brat w ho ciiiin
Into your loom
uud in to, I in
such 1111 III lir.-d
maimer vhn.
I WHS I'llllPg
011 ) 11 thin
looming?
Mr, Meek ton
- Mr w by, tn
tell the trut'i.
thai l our
J OlllllJC'it
- Ohio
Journal,
ami
Male
'ilil
i t
Mil In t,
''I kMu
"""tilii j,,,,
In It. ),
JoiirimL
aralraa,
Two Cruel I'nnlihuienta.
The gantlope, or gantlet, wan mili
tary and naval punishment for theft.
A man had to run the gantlet of a
long file of his fellow soldiers, ench
provided with a switch, anil to prevent
the sinner going too rapidly and to see
that no man. Impelled by motives of
friendliness or kindness, failed to strike
hard, a sergeant walked back ward, fac
ing the said sinner, with a halberd
pointed at the latter's breast.
After a lengthy experiment this was
found to be Inconvenient ami degrad
ing, so recourse was had to another
method, a variety of the same species
of torture. The offender was tied to
four halberds, three- lu a triangle and
a fourth across. The regiment or com
pany then tiled off, the cat o'-nlne-talls
was placed In the hands of the first
man. who gave the culprit a lash aud
passed on, handing the cat to the sec
ond, who also gave a lash, and so the
game weut merrily on until the offense
had been expiated. Loudon Graphic.
tat..
There are two curious things about
cats that are not generally known.
Yellow hairs, however few in number.
always Indicate the female. No male
ever had the slightest tint of yellow.
I hat Is one curiosity, aud the other
Is that a blue eyed cat Is always deaf.
To be sure, blue eyed cats are scarce.
and It la possible that some deaf cats
may not be blue eyed; but wherever
you find a blue eyed cat that feline
Is absolutely Incapable of hearing thun
der.
Ancient Builders.
In Lahore there Is or was a massive
building made only of bricks und mor
tar, but the builders, who erected It In
about 320 H. C, understood their busi
ness so well that the fabric defied the
engineering efforts of four successive
governments to remove It. India, too,
can show plastered buildings white and
shiny like marble aud as smooth aud
polished as glass.
APHORISMS.
flood counsels observed are chains of
grace.- Fuller.
The beauty seen Is partly In him w ho
sees It. - I'.ov ce.
Acliniralli.il Is Hie daughter of kun-ramv.-
Franklin.
In great attempts l Ik glorious even
to fail.- I.onglni.s
The one 1 r 1 h li 1 1 of life Is coin i ll
tratlon. - llinerson.
The golden ngo Is before us. not be
hind us.-St. Simon.
Levity In behavior Is the bane of all
that Is good unci v Irliioiis. Sonera.
Hotter be 'I'lvon out from among
men than to be disliked by children.
I latin.
Loving kindness Is greater than laws.
Iltld the charities of life ale mure lliail
all ceremonies.--Talmud.
Have you so men h leisure from vcuir
own business that you can lake eare
of Hint of other 1 pie that does not
belong to jou'; Terence.
Iters i.f r'lna lllarrlnilnailon.
Morella ha aoloo oilier odd tilings -for
example, the awis'liueat alauda un
der the iMirtabu or uremic, where
friendly bee Mild vlip devoured the
candies 11 ml were not sealed off. I
asked an old woman sitting behind n
largo ataiiil loaded with eitndled fruit.
dtilccN of all soils, sugar plums and
molasses candy :
"Won't these bis sting n fellow V
"(h, 110, Heimr; don't be afraid. They
are limy Intellgelites mid call tell I'll"
tumor right off."
"Hut would they sting n thief, for In
still ?"
"Certainly, seimr. They are wry In
telligent. Poor tlilngsl They do no
harm and lire niti, li company. They
must live!"
I watc hed these winged Insects, with
all tlelr panoply of war ready, and
was fascinated. Then 1 asked another
question:
"Hut would not 11 Mm Hun bee ntlnif
a Yankee'"
"Not If ho were n customer, cabal.
lero I" -Mexican Cor. Ilostoii Herald.
A ltufllrfitil.i-ii I'linga.
You often In nr of rendering a ra'tle.
snake harmless by pulling out Its
tangs. I hen. again, ymi n ad of
"o.-i.- 11 neioeni so in 01 ,as 1,11 loll
persons fatally. The reason for this I
that a iHilsoiiniiN srinl.o Is deprived only
temporarily of lis venomous power by
the extraction of the two Incisors In
tlio ilpM-r Jaw. al the bases of which
are the (hiImhi glands, (if course you
know that the rungs are hollow, ho
that when the animal strikes the von
"Hi gushes throcgh them into the tlesli
of the person struck. Now. by draw
ing the two titclli the auake may be
rendered harmless for n few weeks,
but after a short time the two teeth
Just behind the original fangs move up
and take their places, making connec
tion Willi the poison glands and thus
becoming poison fangs as good and ef
fective as the old ones.
Sate OrrUia(lim.
Bridget, the pretty juiing luahl of nil
work employed la a Boston family,
conmleil to her iiiUtreas when taking
service that she had lalely become en
gaged to be mnirled. Mie alaled, how
ever, that she and Tim would have to
wait two year, and In the meantime
she wished lo bo fit I'll Iiik money.
When Tim made hi first cull one
evening, the family remarked Hint they
had never known n cpih-t n man. 'I he
Mound of Bridget's voice rose now und
then from the kitchen, but Tim word
Were apparently few ami far between.
"I'll" Is not much of a talker. I he.
Bridget?" said the inlstrcH of the
b ise the next inornllig " should
scarcely hne known there win miy
one Willi you last evening."
"He'll talk more when we've bis-n en
gaged u wlille longer, I'm thinking,
ma'am," said little Bridget, "lie's t,,
bashful yet to do anvtlilng but eat
liia'nm. When he's wld luel"-Youth'
Companion.
i aim uki i'p
1-
SsLv
Aunt Jane Fun. yo 1,5 ,
(bat the pletuie of I m l,
rlvrd, but the fin, I nrti,t, ,,
painted It tlialie il,,a .
New i.
Arri.l.altn l.ne
Us
6
Blll'.ir'i
k "" '
Bull'
n TT "1111,1
yi J iuji;(
rrnv if. ,b,v
fHri ' ;i ! ",vl
I V'. 1 j . I of ism
Intel
.a Cum? I
FJZ r.it.;
..ij
,'' j m;.
lot Ike I I rat t aai,li
Head Turned Red br Eating.
Mocking birds are great epicures In
their way. feeding on oranges, the ber
ries of the palmetto and those of the
china tree, apples, pears, cherries,
peaches, blackberries and other small
fruits. On 'he Island of Key West
they eat so freely the bright red prickly
pears that grow on a kind of cactus
that their bills, heads aud throats be
come dyed as If with vermilion.
Beat la Tlaie.
"Oh, come now, I.s'y!" exclaimed the
Britisher. "You must admit we're
ahead of you In a grlte many w'ys."
"In one great particular I admit you
are," said the Yankee.
"And that Is?"
"Time. It's 8 o'clock In London, and
It's only 3 here." Philadelphia Kecord.
A Snicitestlon.
Mrs. De Blinks No, sir. you cannot
have my daughter with my consent I
detest you, and 1 wish I could think of
Home way to make you miserable.
Mr. Hicks Well, the.i. why not be
come my mother-in-law?
To be sure, faint heart never won
fair lady, but, on the other hand, dis
cretion Is seldom sued for breach of
promise. Indianapolis News.
Bicycles ore generally considered a
very modern Inx-entlon. but some of
the Egyptian obelisks. It Is said, bear
figures mounted on two wheeled vehi
cles resembling the old velocipedes.
Just as you are pleased at finding
faults you are displeased at finding
Iw-Tfectlou. Lavater.
Jarenll Rrasoalag-.
Mr. Wise Johnny, can you tell mo
why the little hand on my watch goea
faster than the big one?
Johnny (after mature reflection)
Papa, Isn't It for the same reason that
I have to run when I go walking with
you? Exchange.
Iluraea mill i old.
Colonel Sir T. II. Holilh h. writing in
"The Indian Borderland" of the terrible
storms and wind und snow which over
take the traveler on the high pusses of
the Herat mountains, remarks on the
superior power of the horse 10 with
stand cold, lu one such storm "over
twenty men perished uud many mules.
All the dugs wltli the caravan were
dead. but. so far as I can remember,
no horses. Yet some of the chargers of
the FJeveiith Bengal lancer got slowly
on tlielr legs the lay after the blizzard
literally sheeted with lee as an Ironclad
s sheeted w ith steel." It Is a fin-t worth
noting that the horse will stand cold
where a mule or n camel will not and
where a dog will tile.
aT ihe Juke.
A prominent Bostmilan linii!re. of n
London shopkeeper for Hare' "Walk
In London." The shopkeeper, artor
much hcuroh, found It on h hIicIvc.
but in two volume.
"Ah." said the Bostonlau, "you huvo
your Hare parted In t.. middle over
hero."
"Whiitl'" cuierhcl . Liigiishiuan
blankly, passing bin ha.1,,1,, oV(.r hi
hair.
The next day the Bostonlau called for
another book.
"I'm so glad you returned," HU, ,n
Englishman. - wu,lt , t-ll you I ,.
that Joke."
or nl.
The following I n Chinese loke:
In a certain bouse there v! a baby
that annoyed every one bv lis
"puniing M ,,,;,.,,., WJW
"o"i mi. in. iiclinlnlslerecl 11 bo
no soothing virtue of which ho had
opinion nnd offered to pas
Ulglit III the I, , nine observe thi
elisor Ills remedy. After a few hours,
louring i, not,,., . ,.xfhilin,.,: ",;,)-
1 ho child Is cured:" "Yes," replied the
Mtei.daiit. "the child has ll ,,,.
1 ,T'1"-'' '"'l the mother lu begun
to mourn."
Ml
Cbatlertoii Brl.lsct. I
of of polic emen Um'H
Mr,
have a
this kitchen:
Bridget (hlushliiglvi-Vli'l
JiinI what nillocr BritiM,"'1
it 111" us Brooklyn Eagle.
of
a
the
of-
rvrr ainalr.
"Ah. old man.
I hear you've
had an addition
to your fa 111 1
ly." "Ye, two."
"Not twin!"
"Oh, no the
baby and my
wife's mother!"
-Town Topic.
That
Not Neglected.
Dohbs You ought to do something
for that cold of yours. A neglected cold
tiften leads to serious conse,pienccs.
Mobbs This one Is not neglected.
Four or five hundred of my friends are
looking after It.
New Attrartlon.
Towne I gee Gay man had to pay
Miss) Koy $li5.XiO for breach of prom
ise. Browne Yes, and now he's trying to
marry her for hr money. Philadel
phia Press.
tiatea In trtay.
A curious feature to travelers In the
highroads of Norway Is the great num
ber of gates- upward of IO.ihmi In the
whole country - which l llve to be open
ed. These gates, which either mark
the boundaries of the farms or sep
arate the home fields from the waste
lands, conytltute a considerable in.
convenience and delay to the 'raveler
who has to Htop his vehicle ami get
dow n to open them.
C ruel mid I nuaunl I'nnlalmient.
Mrs. Bo'Tiim (hopelessly 1-Mortimer,
I cannot make Willie mind.
Mr. Boortini (slernlyi-William, do n
your mother wishes, or I will make
you go and sit In the cozy corner.
Brooklyn Eagle.
Ilellerrd.
must be a nreltv l,...l ,....11.
ache to swell y()llr tiu.v Ukt, Uiat w,
don't you see a dentist?"
"I did call on yr f.1,.,,,1, j,r
'"'. yesterday , experienced great
relief."
"You must be mistaken. p,,(,lu uu,
teen out of town for a week."
1 kiiow. 1 f,.t relieved
found that out"-Exchange.
wheu I
Papa
llorrr'a llTlarallon.
KheOli. Harry. It Is awful!
has forbidden you the house!
He-That all right. It Isn't the
house I am after; If you, darliug.
Bostoa Transcript.
A (hrlalinaa Pie.
A customary f,.t,lre 0f a Chrlstmaa
U nner In old England" was nn In. 1Ho
He of some kind. t WI1N C()I).
' "f ''' "d llesh and fowl 'e
re told that In tle r,.B f
III Mm il,.,ailll . , ii
.... ... n.,.,, , t.iuneester was once
order,,! ,y that monarch to procure
twenty salmon, tc, peacock, am ten
prawns for Christmas pies.
A Unlde.
I'r. A.-Why do J()U always make
ii'li particular lu,,ulrlea as to what
j"i,i imiieniH eat? I),.s (mt
you lu your diagnosis?
Ir. B.-Not much, hut It enables n,c
to ascertain their social position aud
.range my feea accordliigly.-Tlt-Blta.
assist
Kinerl.
"Could you do
the landlord In
the 'Lady of
Lyons?'" linked
the manager of
a seedy actor.
"Well, I guess
I might I have
do no a good
many la 11 d
lords."
t .a.sl W"
"I knowi"-;
made iM'1
followHU It"1,
"What "''
Itus
You's easy"-'
News.
A ma '
IrW - L I
777TVV
I
I u... nnvtlllNtf
. ...mi 1 v f
nut V .n ftllflil . , M
" will. it j v - ,
snool of No. 30 thread.
Journal.
t a'
St