Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About Just out. (Portland, OR) 1983-2013 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 21, 2003)
24 uary 2L2ÛÛ2 T h reat Company Swinging and polyatnory Oon*T eVen TV»nV» abos/T s o y'»Ag iT *s TV\* sinooe TW»ng T he next time they were there, she contin ou’ve seen the ambiguous sign ues, “The guy ends up being in line behind us, and, if you’re new in town, you and he was acting like he didn’t know us— probably wonder what the heck it until he couldn’t find his ID ...he was like, means. It’s the Ace of Hearts, and it’s where Portland swingers go for fun. ‘They know me!’...I was like, ‘No, we don’t know you, you didn’t want A mostly straight sex to know us!” club, the Ace is a pretty Rich and Daria are ulti no-nonsense wham-ham mately looking for someone piece of the action. N o th they can both connect ing wrong with that. But with. “The definition of the don’t go calling it poly. word— ‘polyamory,’ many Think of it as a subset. loves. We’re looking for “We dabbled a love,” Daria remarks. little bit,” says Rich, It’s a difference between a participant in the knowing someone and sim January m eeting of the ply having sex. “The paths Polyamory C ircle. “But may cross,” notes Aaron at it’s a very, very different the same meeting, “byt m ind-set.” they’re different paths. If His partner, Daria, you put a label on it, agrees. “They don’t care swinging is about sex; to know your name." polyamory is about rela T hey m et another tionship building." couple at the A ce of A aron’s own family H earts they liked once, extends to "10 or 15" peo but w hen they suggested ple, and that can include m eeting them outside its protective walls, they The Ace of Hearts, at Southeast 39th sex, but not solely. “We’re all family, and we all play were rebuffed. Says Avenue and Powell Boulevard, caters together in every aspect of Daria, “T h e y ’re like, to the swinging crowd our lives.” ‘N o ...w e w ant ta b e “And," adds meeting participant George, totally anonym ous; we d o n ’t w ant to know you know each other’s names.” JTt you out in the real world.’” Y terrified.” Both Lisa and Will “were very accomiTuxJating,” she remembers, adding with a smile, “and I was very demanding.” thing," Kristen says, “but she’s really honest.” But when polyamory doesn’t come to you They began seeing each other regularly in naturally and you don’t have 10 years to get response to what Lisa calls “love at first sight." used to the idea, there are bound to be prob Kristen, 30, wasn’t concerned about Lisa’s marital lems. “You used to have one person you had to status because “1 thought, ‘She’s really cute, and keep happy,” says Will. “Now you have two. So I’m single and not kxrking for a relationship. it’s twice as hard. Lisa had it the worst; she had We’ll just date, we’ll have some fun.. .she’s mar to keep both of us happy." ried, so I can be sure that it’s not going to be any Kristen had jealousy problems right from thing serious.’ That was six years ago,” she laughs. the start. “I’m not jealous that she After a few months, Kristen relates, loves someone else...you realize “She told me she loved me and that th at it doesn’t take any of she knows 1 love her tcx> ’cause the love that they feel for she wouldn’t feel that way if I you aw ay ...it’s the social didn’t feel that way about her. ization of the m ono I just started to cry ’cause I gamy of the sexual act. knew it was tme. And T h a t’s what gets a lot then, what do you do with of people.” that?” Still, she stayed You start a right where she was, polyamorous relationship. learning to cope and “As they got a little becoming a complete more involved, I could see member of the family. Lisa that it was gtxxl for Lisa,” —Will, whose wife and W ill’s son, now 14, saw observes Will. “She was happier. has another partner her as sort of a second mom; I could see it was something that I W ill’s daughter, now 19, thinks of couldn’t give her.” her more as a “big sister.” They came out a lit But after a year, Lisa and Will were both tle at a time to close friends and relatives, who tired of Lisa’s continual absences from home, accepted Kristen as Lisa’s partner. and Kristen’s living situation was breaking As for Lisa, she admits the new family rela down. They decided to have Kristen move into tionship was “difficult” but ultimately worth it. their Southeast Portland home. “I wanted to all be together in one house; that None of the three had done any research was my family. This weird thing that I knew on polyamorous lifestyles or knew other poly would happen to me one day,” she grins. “Six people. “1 had no frame of reference,” Kristen years later, she’s still my wife.” says. “If we were doing it right...you just kind But last year, Kristen and Lisa decided Kris of have to go with your gut." ten would move out. W hen she moved in, she admits, “I was just Continued from Page 23 "You used to have one person you had to keep happy—now you have two. So it 's twice as hard. D e e p C le a n C a rp e l Systems GRAND OPENING! C le a rly N ot Just a Patio Cover Gay-owned & operated Tour our m o d e l and r e c e i v e a $ 5 S t a r b u c k s Gift C e r t i f i c a t e -C arp et cleaning -Upholstery -Oriental rugs -Window blind cleaning 503 590-4746 - www.deepcleancarpet.com Life in th e city c a n b e exciting an d c o n v e n ie n t at th e Lair Hill H e ig h ts C o n d o m i n iu m s . N e s tle d a g a in s t a tr e e c o v e r e d hillside Lair Hill h a s in c re d ib le m o u n ta in an d river v ie w s , e a s y a c c e s s to d o w n t o w n , th e Y M C A , city p a rk s , an d P o rtlan d S ta te University, 2 B e d r o o m , Flats & T o w n h o m e s F ro m $ 16 4 ,9 5 0 H i LAIR HILL H E I G H T S 3 5 0 5 SW B arbur Blvd , Portland * V 2 Mi le S o u t h o f t h e Y M C A ” Open 1pm t o 6pm Thursday thru M onday For m o r e information please contact D J M a y e r or M i k e M u l l e n wi th t h e H a s s o n C o m p a n y at 503.2 95.9 556 TV« n (V is tm e - “The best workout spares no effort... the same holds true for Christine!” Call today for a free qualification over the phone 7 u'asn t sure I could buy a First Time Buyers ♦ FHA/VA Loons Self-Employed ♦ Complicoted Borrowers Bankruptcies & Foreclosures ♦ Credit Problems Investment Properties ♦ Pre-approvals 100% Financing Programs home but I saw Christine s ad and called. Wc met and before I knew it l was pre qualified. Just as I found the perfect house I had to leave Christine Hall the country for three Weeks. Senior Loan Conn titani President's Club This could have meant disaster , but Christine went the - distance and handled everything hassle-free! ^ 800-343-9943 When I returned, all I had to do was sign 503-301-1941 the papers and move in. ” Pager - Richard, Manager, Jazzercise, Inc. wE*1 hollc@eoglehomemortgoge com 503 698-5429 »
