The Oregon mist., November 20, 1908, Image 4

1 0F HB'RDED
A CIIUISTMASStVEBHS INVERSE
m RICHARD St UftAYES
DY KOBEKTUS MVK ivnrawi-v aoaairtvs wvm
Bting Christina itery of th bltouit aheotar'a ravanga, which it effarad with apataglaa to th thado of Maury
1 infringing hi paKioular tyl of blank varaa and at in aama timo h'latinj ana to th mtmory af th old bay
n had tvarvbeiy e!e bt'.tn to a Ful.i nj thri vvsya from tho Ji;k thla tort thing.)
r"
w
Lip
BESTIING with the pots tod kettles,
Shooting biscuits like ranger
With an aim that was unerring.
Swiftly dealing oat the ham-and.
Also beefsteak tough as leather,
labored daily Minnie Haxhar,
Sometimes known as Laughing Waiter,
Jerking sinkers from the cuisine
To the grill room for the hungry,
Working for a measly stipend
Of two-fifty, coming weekly.
One day to that cobwebbed kitchen
Came a young man cold and hungry.
He was walking on his uppers
In the storms of wintry weather,
And his garb was built for summer,
Hanging on him loose and flabby,
Like 4 hide hung on a fencepotL
Any cop he might hare met then
Would hare rua him la and Tagged him.
jXinnie Haxhar saw the stranger;
Saw that he was weak and weary;
(Took him in and filled him quickly
(With the leavings from the tables,
jit was in the time of Christmas
(Time of cheer and tie cf plenty.
;Then she sought the boss and told him
j Of the stranger in the kitchen
'Told him of the weary walking
All the way from Kansas City,
Where the stranger had been fired from
j Just because he had got jagged and
Could not work at biscuit shooting.
nwima.
Thus equipped to make a
He threw googoo eyes at Minnie
Threw them hard and threw them often
Until finally she wilted.
Then he took her, unresisting,
la his arms and hugged and kissed her.
He was hers and she was his'n
lor a week or ten days, maybe,
Until he had met another
Out upon the publio highway
Met a gasellt with a light step
Then the stranger seised a tray and
Went to work with Minnie Harhar,
Dodging cops until sne helped him
Get a more befitting raiment,
And the philanthropic morement
Set her back just seven-flfty.
Then he got a shave and hair cut
And a bottle of load perfume.
conquest.
cm. atta
in XVl
' And they'd take their beer quite often
In the wine room at OTCelley's.
Christmas days were soon forgotten,
And the loan he'd got from Minnie
From his memory fast was fading.
And a smile that put him bughouse.
She was working fn a chop joint
Farther down toward the riTtr,
And bis footsteps turned he often
Joyfully in that direction.
Just as soon as work was over
With the gaselle he would wander.
They were fairly glued together
As they walked and chinned each other,
All unknown to Minnie Harhar,
HTTW.
One day Minnie Harhar saw them
Sauntering along together,
And the air wis fairly reeking
With the stickiness of lore talk.
Minnie caught on Tery quickly,
Saw which way the wind was blowing,
But refrained from taking action.
When he came to work
at evening
Minnie Hirhar sprung
it on him,
Boned him for the seven-fifty,
Sure, she could have bawled him out then,
Ard the gazelle would have shared it,
But would that have helped to get her
Any of the seven-fifty
She'd invested in his raiment t
Minnie Harhar pondered deeply,
Made a sneak and held her temper.
roWmft To
Saying he must dig up quickly
Or she'd pet him out of businett.
Waiting then for half a minute,
Minnie alio shied utensils,
Using them for punctuation;
Hurled a pkte with such precision
That it spoiled his face forever ;
Slammed a stove lid on his stomach,
Pot of beans against his bosom;
Hit hin with the raa-.hcd potatoes
And a fricrrr:; of chicken.
'All the tine the guests were dodging
Hound the tables in the grill room.
Minnie saw he was not coming
Through with any sun of money,
In the use of the invective
Minnie Harhar was not slouchy.
Into him she threw it swiftly,
Liki the hot soup from the ladle.
In the c! cieert chopbouie language
Minnie tv.:n addressed the piher
Said he was a chump and wclshcr,
Also cheap r.:r:v, pheny, moocher;
Called him t-o spot, bloke and wnzxer,
8aid he was a yaD from Yaovillc
And a skate from down the river, r
Pans and plates were fiying wildly,
Walls were spattered vith their contents,
While the boss had taken refuge
In a corner, with a tabic
Upturned there to shield and hide him.
And the piker, he was hiking
Fast aroend the room and dodging,
But at every throw was getting
All that could be coming to him.
Everything was thrown by Minnie,
wm.it: h
IT.
All that she could lay her hands on.
Nothing else was there remaining
Eut a pie; 't'.vaa made of cuitard.
This she teized without a tremor.
With a cry ihj teat it hurtling
Thrjh t'.c ai-, rnd tafc it landed
On tha virsc -f the rir.
With hii iz-i ell p!?'"tred over,
Surely h? rr. burincs
Until he had eaten through it.
Then outside the door he ambled
Exit pie and farewell piker.
In the art of roughhoose making
Minnta Harhar cleans the platter.
Trifling come with her affections
Is not now considered healthful.
And the piker who has tried itf
It is best that he be nameless.
! ViI WJSjW VaF1 11 ol.l Vlnl.il. i IM )nw jlVVaf
ip. If fvty' ' v jpjc- I ni ' .iii' vvVA
i; vL4''lSf ' KS? '"! Wh.i.. i. . it.t Ki..Bi..i.M,ti i.ma C -E 3r VwxliJ a
i WXja'-- ifViM Th. rlv.l cim, (.lit, lit t,. itSr'
ft V 1 j i " mwi'-' '" Vr vlJL
! ; Vfk iy.tn ' ,,'' ' " "'f (jf'Nlt- -'v4
' ' I ZSw! f vV.' l-i4 (" tmir I. 1 YfeltlfeVt Wl'if K5l
I iliT lv Vu -" "' JLlHVi''..
I I Ak!XNa 1 I Tha .lin.fl-1 n,.M.,.. .a . - WMCWWLtll l HI
' IT if I . VA t ailkan U..r. .... r mUlfrUf'PlV 1 I
3 ti- ' 'TM, 'J!fC 4ilw l iiiUM!l' , ft' if I B h h ' ) lifii If . I 1
i. JJ'F V. Th.l rt.rn..! .h. i.l j fl'.H ',11 git f A 1,1
! :Ml$W4i -. WMimh
S?vfftl tL.. whifN vf&l
Mexico's Christmas Eve
ChrUtms io Mn.-o UU fur Dli
days, auding wHU CbrUtmai arn.
Tbajr ara dncrllMtJ at tba etna day'
waodr!nr." bln aytulmlU'iil of fho
wio.l.rlne of ilir Vlreln Mary ami
Jivh In trnrrli if .l.rUrr prior to
tha lilrtb of Jru.
One t'lmtum In to bin. nln. fnmltra
of frlrnd or rrlntli.t ink part In ttil
quuitil uliarrvstioii. Kurb family
tartnlut In luru for tmr r.rulng all
the ollirrn llnih ntiulla amt rtillilrrn
partl-li(o In th. niirtirliif Arriv
ing at a Imuw. tlirr apply at lb. UH,r
of .rb mom for o'li'lirr, ulilrb l rt
fuiMHt by tbow within Finally all ar
admiiint in tlic liiruput rwTii. whrra
Nfrrstiniriila f -..i1 uirnln, rnkra ami
win. ar a-rv1 In mnny Inatntirra
th. rbllilr.il nri- enrhnl In funrlful
coalumm.
TIip l.iat nls!:t of (In. wnnili-rliis..
Chrlatm.-ia ri., ninitia to M.sh-nu rbll-
Autobiography of
A Christmas Gift
mm
KACII llUMfOl.til ! I HIM, Tllll til HIT
Till! 1'INAT.i.
dri-n vvlmt the ii!ImtIiii; of c-irUtnin
trea frtill ini'iiim to t li. -1 1 1 1 I r-: ..f 1 1 !
LiiIIinI Sl.ili'M, llinuli il.t-,. ,
utilM lief, 'llii'ii. , :i-i,.u, .
Iilnotn. oiIiiTivIm- il liuinnii flKtire iiimlo
of imiitli piii-i', hiihih-ikIimI from tin.
cc-flf (iff Hninclliiii'M then. I nn nlln i.r
anrthciiH'niv pot nlmllnrly hiixpi-n !,.
Olii ililhl In lillmlfolilril. inruiil
around few dim n n1 linlini i,.
hrc-nk the iilniitn tilth , nn,. i,r rml
Tlin'. .Irdl'.rK lire piTiiiltl.it. mill
UNUilll.V hiiipctm Hint tin. i,iii.
only linpitlpiil.lo nit After nn hmir oi
no of fnllurHM HomelnKly hlrs nf plimtii
n aiimrt blow, mid the Uv nml trunk
of tli irntwiiiic ii,.!,,.,, M,i, ,ip()
liuwn t the door. In twnttiTlnif eon.
fualoil. full tlie anMmiiK preaenlM
with whleh tb funny lljrnn. wna tatn.T
H. Tliort there H n merry Miriiliilile
for tin. fnrorn." The nm r, hn mic.
elii In lireiilihifr the plMntti or the
olli del ii aptxlnl priwiit mid h
plrieed In tbo sent of honor for the
venliig.
t am a Cbrbitmaa gtft lo fact, 1
hair alwnjt oca oo sly a ta Bow
iilu.tmn. WMHith t may luk oUlar. I
.-m m.ut. by i!m dainty batxla of MUa
hu.nina HIUr. wtxi at thai tlma waa
jntt tba at. I am now (iuaa b.r act
at pr.tm; fttw U an HI Him fluaAnna.
ami ah. still unna id.
U. )t Min Hmatiiio gait ma away
I'.rlmpa I abuuld .iplaln that 1 am
lain, brln a wlr of knit illppor
MlM HuMima. It
ao utiilvratood,
bad ln. tol.nl
dlgn uix.q tb
JouiiK po..r of
Iwr rhurt-b.
ah knit inn and
rut ma l tha
r.irriid Jonlh.
Nt flirlat
Hint tha prrmb
f. who bad r
ili.d fli other
p:ilr, arltl lite
lo hit I t a r
Vu a, knit
a 1 1 P p . r ara
KUarmiterd to fit
my t'fi t well
ua any o t h a r
ft K.i th.
prmi h.r a abatiir
an amr nt io wna t;ot nt all
"IU llffellllw),
Tha n.vt ChrUtmaa alia aent ma to
her old iolle. i liuiii. Mr. 1P t,own.
"hn una u iiiimiiIht of l.rr brother
CKtiKretifitl,.,, St xi ChrltHiii Mra. lw
IS ai'Ol me to her ,i.i,,r Th. piialor
Krlmied when he niv ma uk-n, il
reinnrked aoineililni; Ilk. "rnat your
liend uiHiii Hie ivmi-ra n, it will r.
turn to you nfi,.r nnny iy,"
The ned t'hrl.tiinm the puator aant
mo to lilt old eollrp. chum, wlui n,i.
aweet on MU Hiiaiuinn Them wn
every .r..nM.. t of n nmti Ii. tin, ,. )mM
Hiiaiiimn hn.l iI.k) n I rl of wlniiliiK .
pr.ii. ber, ivhu wn known io w (m.
: ii Keit lo niioiher In.ly, ii .. ,ery
neil t'hrliiliinifi ihe pi-i.!. !mt'm collece
' hum win me lo MU Hii.iiiiu:, Hllh it
Derfiiuied note priiUInu Iut ilnlnty III
He f.-et Thla bnil.e olT the mnli h, r
i oiirvie.
w''i- t'hrlKimna Mlaa Kiianntm
mnlleil me l. n friend of hera elenr
uiroaa Ihe eontliielil, Mla Hiianuiin'M
"ilillea on Ihe i nrner of tin. l
wliMi I n- mnlleil ,.(, rubied off nn
rmiu. noil her friend didn't know who
Kent nn.
K'i ill. very new flirUtinna re.
Imiied to Mlna Huniiunn. Oil, I wna
hnrd in 'owe: I wna mil m,,,!,. t Wwr.
I Wna i-iinle to rlreuhtte, I am n K,w,
Hilnis, nnd wt averylMKly pnaae tun
n Ions.
fli. an you roeoRiilM. ma nnwf Vtm,
I Mnf n yenr with yon, tlmo
slips, nnd I imiNt U Rolnif. Xlil" U
Clirlatmnri eve, yoo know.
T. BAI'l', jr.
Santa In Grass Valley
One Iowa In lb full! Rtitaskatt
fpntrtlral and uparaotl pHa
Kama (laoa. ta Ura Vt'taj, (si.
rr rrjf body cat a fbrUtma. (Ifta. Tart
la no cblW ao tnt a t W
ponll w brn Kama l bat (
lira around, nnd. for that mall a)
grown pvraon !ll brr, T.ilf etfjtiui
as'i Sir. lUttwn uf (irn Vallt tl
an Invalid, e.ioni.4 to b.r rbalrstll
window of b.r n.llnc. hli. atHal
Ilk a. Im.jI rbltdrao trii by mi
tbt wr arantlly rlad nod )
til n..uri.h TI i
But ber own mbifortun. In bf
paaaloii for Iba unfortuiiatr lltltal
ftha auffiaattHl I bill an Hi V
of a. l,.. bvfur Hi. t'brittinas
ilaya b child ahouUl brl' f "(M
t.iinetl.liij lo glv away lo e!l- "
iwwut hoi h any I bins bit! or ci!"
Jual wbatatar the rblld lou'd "
A roinnilltw. to dlttrtbut It
Ihli.tta wbrr tlwy w.r. unt tW
4i many lull otiea and tlKir
were uidil. bappjl . Oral h'tat"
that tiraaa Volley adopled tit. WN
inoimntly Now for a unnrf f
renlnry Wra. Ilauaan iniproiwl N
tlau ayai.io bna bnn In iiorklal"
der. tlioiigli luuif niro the .d "
liemrlf wna rtl.iia.d from Iit dull"
wln nnd In Id lo real In the l"
twy
When tbr I iat tttty of a-t"" l
old yar arrlvra-enlled d.."tUHi M
In limn Vall.y-.rery i-blid ol
mora Hum 1 uxi In the h" '
tnidulntt lauehwwiird lt " "SttH
Iitrr the town' brnaa Nnd I"""1
lirw.aalon, dlaprlialnu approprlal a
Mm
. on
IRIIM AND TIIKII8 A HOT tAl'
I II II S ti.
ale. Koiuv of Ihe children forry 'll'k'
of wood il lilu it llieiUNclve; olW
bold only it fiit imiiim In Ihi'lr
nniier Here nml llM-rw n l'v
Shift n lli tf chicken. ciiefclll'H i""1
KlltllX. AI Ihe nnir of
low ii lln of wiifou huleli "llli
tlilim itoiiutwl by Ihe iiwi-' li""' iM.
Olher well lii do clllfeim. Hi "! '
...... i iter. II"
nininr viiiii, nun iior.n
hlhlmn nmreit. ruin nr lil"
Hflfl'1
' nt
t 'In u I not deterred h.v incline-wenilior-nnt
In Urusa Vsll'T