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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (May 20, 1977)
BITCH BOX By MARTHA BUXX Of the Immorald Broken-up bivouac brings computered complaints Dear Bitch Box, I am a computered science major and have to spend 25 hours a day in the biology robot lab programming myself into the University. Since I hardly use my quad anymore, I decided to just bring my folding king-sized bed along with me yesterday to the lab and set up house keeping there until this term is over This way, I don t have to pay rent on a seldom-used quad and I can really tune in to my programs. When I awoke this morning after a short nap, I couldn't believe my sensory input feeders. The custodian had the nerve to scream at me for moving in. He pointed to the "No Overnight Camping" sign and or dered me to leave This University has gone overboard on its rules. My bed was only a minor roadblock for the custodian and I don t even have to use the lab s restroom now that I'm programmed. How in the world could the Uni versity consider my modest setup "overnight camping"? I didn't even bring along my Coleman stove or tent. Disgustingly yours, Robbie Robot Dear Robbie, Bitch, Bitch, Bitch. That s all you robot types ever do. What I suggest you do is program yourself for non-sleep That way, you won't have to sleep or use the restrooms. But you do have a good point about the University going overboard on its rules. I heard just the other day that the registrar is going to limit add/drops to only that student whose first name begins with the letter u, last name with o and whose hometown is either Canyonville or Maple ton. The reason? Just a change of pace, according to Registrar Les Turnurd. who declined further comment. Editor s note: The Bitch Box is open to anyone who wants to bitch The Immorald will answer and publish only the bitchiest letters. Please include your name, rank and serial number in case Uncle Same gets ahold of your letter. Make your vacation reservations with the BEST BANANAS in the WEST! We Ve got more hot air than any other airline! Call 489-7806 TODAY If given the chance Geery to tackle Brooks’ post By AL RAFFO Of the Immorald Thurd Geery announced today he is challenging the appointment of Rich Brooks as head football coach of the Oregon Ducks. In a totally unprepared state ment for the media, Geery lashed out at the Athletic Department for their “sneaky, conniving and un derhand tactics” used in making the selection of the new coach. “This is tantamount to a col lossal quarterback sneak on the part of the athletic department. Who did they ever consult on this? Were you asked about this? I sure wasn’t,” Geery said. Geery said he applied for the football coaching job “as soon as I heard the assistant golf coach’s position was filled.” “I repulse being subservient to capitalistic capriciousness, in nuendo, pestilence and all encompassing existentialism. I’m a derivative of the working mas ses. I know animals. I should be coach," Geery contended. With the ebb of Oregon football i'»i times at an ;.ii-time low, Geery was asked how he might improve ihe seemingly impossible situa tion. "Easy,” Geery smiled. “Well have everybody park in Autzen Stadium and play the games in the parking lot. It’ll be just like 1968 all over again. Ya know, people run ning around all over the place beating the shit out of each other. Of course we’ll have the Dead play at halftimes.” Geery was asked what qualifi cations he possessed that would make him a competent coach. Geery replied that while he had “never even bounced a football let alone participate in the sport” he does have one obvious attribute. “I’m deranged,’’ Geery leered. “Besides I grew up in the same state as O.J. Simpson.” Geery s challenge will now be brought before the athletic department’s Football Grievances Committee. Committee members include Brooks, his wife Lilian and his dog, Rosebowl. The hearing will be held Mon day at 1:30 p.m. in the Athletic Department towel room. Grab for all the gusto... When the door swung open, I couldn’t believe the goddess that stood before me. Her body must have been poured into that black silk halter dress. Her firm, round ass and slim waist only accentuated her large, tanned breasts that seemed to want to pop out of her dress, like two plump doves escaping to feeedom. A light dinner of oysters with bananas, grapes and tomatoes and several glasses of sparkling Chablis set me in a passionate mood, and our locale quickly switched from the dining table to the couch. I gently stroked her thigh as I felt my own torrid blood surging through my body... pulsating... it throbbed with each beat of my heart. She responded ecstatically, her brown firm orbs rapidly heaving up and down as she dreathed deeper and faster. The wine had done its duty as she sucked out the inside of my (Continued on Page 9) ^When your ta^te grdws up, should your cigarette WARNjpJCi: (ilen Ozone wood has dcter that pot \% ill grow hair on youj- lace.
