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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (May 20, 1977)
-haramjue This space for hire University students may not be aware of the great ad vantage the Immorald enjoys in being an independent newspaper. An example of the importance of being inde pendent is an incident that occurred last week, when Ber nau Crat, an ASUO influence peddler, strolled into the Immorald offices looking for a favor. He was wearing one of those stylish leisure suits availa ble only at Tire and Cranks’ many convenient locations. Tapping his Dirt Shoe-clad toe to the music from our really great sound system available at a terrific savings from Frog Stall, he asked if he could treat us to one of the Exclusior Cafe’s fine lunches. We said we could use a free lunch, as long as we stopped to pick up a case or two of Crudweiser at Strafe way. Crat agreed that Strafeway’s bargains are hard to top, and the service is great, too. And Fire em’s is right next door. After a delicious lunch topped with a bottle of Gallon Farty Boorgundy, we asked Crat to lay down his cards. Why the royal treatment, better than we had enjoyed since that weekend at the Padlock? He told us the ASUO was becoming concerned about plugs for our advertisers creeping into our news columns. He said he couldn’t see how the fact that University Pres. Nullen Void has his hair done at the Spare Loft relates to declining enrollments. He said he couldn't understand why ROTC cadets eating at Messy’s Pizza Parlor is front page news. Fortunately for our readers, the Immorald can resist such attempts to influence our editorial policy, whether they come from the ASUO, the administration or a gov ernment agency. We told Crat to save his breath and went for an ice cream cone at Basket and Bobbins. V --oh. yeah?— Equality for oppressed species Students here in Oregon and around the country are building for the Week of Solidity with Oppressed Species. The Coalition to Fight the Football Hike, Smash Impartialism, and So On is leading this strug gle. We’ve got it together and you don't, so do what we tell you. Come to the huddle on the EMU Terrace at high noon. United we ll go for the first down. We ll confront the rejectionary administrators with demands for farm animal unionization, an end to slashbacks, and white students off campus. Together we ll expose the bourgeois lackeys as they drop back and punt. Okay, we know nobody ever reads these things past the second paragraph. So we can talk in private now. After the demo, remember we re all meeting with Void and Bogus for beer and pretzels. They’ll have the checks ready. These little get-togethers are important for everyone’s morale, as we all know. Last week's meeting was especially productive. Void proved himself a top-notch scrabble player, and Mrs. Bogus can sure bake a cake. A few words for the table crews. Book sales have fallen off lately, and since we rely on book profits to finance many of our other operations, we can’t afford to lose this source of revenue. Maybe someone could look into getting copies translated from Chinese into English. Let’s see if we can move some of those babies before the new line of greeting cards and revolutionary thrillers arrives next month. Petition passers, you’ve been doing great. The seminar really paid off. It seems the best tactics are so obvious you never think of them. Who could have imagined that it’s important to always have a petition to sign, no matter what it’s about, to get students to the point where they’ll sign petitions by reflex? This week’s petition will be for nothing in particular, unless anyone’s got an idea. Bad news from the placard factory. It seems the sign painters are out on strike for higher wages and better conditions. They're going to bring in some scabs, but we won't have any fancy stage properties for tomorrow’s demo. We ll have to use last week's signs and hope nobody notices we re chanting “fight the football hike” while our signs say “U.S. out of New Mexico.” A boxcar full of new leaflets arrived yesterday. We haven't had time to take a look at them yet, but we ordered the deluxe assortment, so there's sure to be something for everyone. This new shipment should last us through May. A few words on marching orders. It really looks sloppy when everyone sort of spreads out and strag gles along on the way to the administration building. We need tighter marching formations, and starting this weekend we ll have drills every Saturday on the Autzen Stadium parking lot. We want our demos to look sharp; sloppy demos don't make the evening news. At our last meeting someone brought up the idea of uniforms. We've talked about this before, and it doesn't seem like a very good plan. Maybe uniforms would be okay for the softball team, but people sort of freak out when they see demonstrators in uniforms. This is Eugene, not Japan. Next week's struggle will be built around the slogan, “End oppression in Springfield!'' Ruling class Eugene residents can’t imagine the horrible condi tions of life in Westinghauser-dominated Springfield Well, you all know the line. This promises to be a real zinger of a struggle, so invite all your friends. Sometimes people read the last paragraph of these interminable opinion pieces, so_ As the facts presented above prove beyond doubt, we can make the Week of Solidity with Op pressed Species a day everyone will remember. Join in the struggle of oppressed species for equality and freedom! Down with appearance! Up with reality! Huddle on the EMU terrace at high noon! Coalition to Fight The Football Hike, End Impartialism, and So On Sez you Opening bid Regarding ASUO presidential candidate Dave Tyler’s sugges tion that the Immorald’s contract with the ASUO be put up for open bidding: My organization would be happy to write, print and distribute the Immorald every day for free. I assure you it would contain no thing but the Truth. Rev. Some Young Moonie Seoul, South Korea Bleeding hearts News of campus protests about our company’s recruiting efforts has reached our office lately. It seems a few bleeding hearts are all worked up over the fact that the government of South Africa has chosen to grant us the privilege of paying a few fat dividends by tak ing advantage of local social policies. We are understandably upset. It’s bad enough that these ivory-tower protestors are sticking their noses where they don’t be long. Does anyone give us credit for bringing civilization to the Afri can savages? Do they know that some of them don’t even speak English? No, the real issue is that the en tire aim of our recruiting efforts is being misrepresented. We re not hiring college graduates to work in South Africa. We re hiring them to oppress and exploit workers right here at home. Kruger Rand Information Director MultiCorp, Inc. Gato Gordo, Calif. Dog care needed I’m sure every student is aware that a major bone of contention in Page 4 bill that would establish state funded dog care for students. What’s needed now is for students to lift their legs and hound their representatives to get this bill shepherded through committee. We’ve already collared support on the floor, but the bill’s leash on life may turn out to be a choke chain unless there's a rabid show ing of student support. With kennel costs skyrocketing and rations short, it’s essential the burden of caring for a dog be eased by the state. State funded dog care needs your help. Derby Carrot Oregon Student Lounge Free speech I am amused by the Immorald’s gutlessness. You shy away from obscenity even though a campus newspaper affords the ideal op portunity for license. For instance, you failed to re port University Pres. Nullen Void's famous remark, "Your mother *cx bananas sideways.” And what about John Smashem’s quick retort, “«%x you, death spewing mother }o and eater of «(?/#, cram it up your and ««Q it”? Lotsa Chutzpah Sophomore-Criticism Fuck you, chump - ed. Uncounted ballots Politics is the authoritative allo cation of scarce resources. There fore, I should be ASUO President. Jimmy Carter is still campaign ing three months after his election, why can't people understand why I’m campaigning three weeks after mine? The forces of obstruc tionism, obscurantism and obfus cation are conspiring against me. The uncounted ballots in last Tuesday's safety net election were mine. And I still can't find a place to park. Thurd Geery Senior-Politics Greeks off campus I’ve had about enough of the Immorald’s unending hate cam paign against the Greeks. I've been a Greek all my life, and I can't see how it's any worse than being an Armenian or a Turk. Sure we all live together. You want we should move to Italy? Sure we have customs of our own. We invented western civilization. And of course every one of our politicians is a Greek. We've even got laws to keep it that way. So lay off Greece, already. Nikos Pappodapoulous Phraxos, Greece Rather silly Save the Wales? I didn't know the bloody place was in trouble And I don’t see what blaming Japan will do, in any case. If you ask me, it’s Ireland that needs a bit of help. David Frost San Clemente, Calif. A pavJce TO THE SECOND \ YEAR°F WILL! AM fcOYD IN THIS DANCE x I LOOK. ^AOCON C9PA CUTBACK RoTC OFF CAMPUS 6>TF ^ UNION IZATION ®*w m-ieaAu© <;vNt>io»Tt 1 FODAJP IT gC/FTDNS I THE 6EARY CAMPAIGN \ ANP 6AIU) WiN£ APS YOlP THINK n‘s a _ \ .r/e Friday, May 20, 1977
