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About Oregon daily emerald. (Eugene, Or.) 1920-2012 | View Entire Issue (April 21, 1967)
Clergy Recommends Pre-Marital Counselina By MAXINE ELLIOTT Regardless of its size, a Kiri’s wedding will remain forever a special event in her mind. In or der to make the wedding as per fect as possible, certain customs should lie observed. Of course, the wise couple dis cusses these with the clergyman1 when reserving the church. How-1 ever, a certain familiarity with some of the customs should he a prerequisite before meeting with j the pastor Oenerally speaking, the couple! will be asked to participate in prc-; marital counseling. According to i the Rev. James E. Merlin of Eu I gene's Emerald (American) Bap-1 tist Church, counseling “is not a requirement, but I advocate it and, in some instances, practic ally insist on it." Rev. Merlin said that his view is "probably pretty representative of most Protestant ministers. Pretty Well Educated “Usually I meet with the cou ple for at least one 45-minute session. We'll discuss things such as financial arrangements, em ployment, family relationships — things like that. . . . Birth con trol? They're usually pretty well educated on this point,” he chuck led. “Most of all. though , I try to emphasize the spiritual aspects of marriage—that it’s an insti tution ordained by God.” According to Rabbi Louis Nei mand of Temple Beth Israel, he tries to work out counseling ses sions prior to the wedding. "They’re rather elastic, depend ing on how much time we have and how much interest the couple shows,” he commented. "We assume they know enough about the economic and physio logical side of marriage, but we do discuss the religious value of marriage. "The subject of birth control sometimes comes up,” Rabbi Nei mand admitted, "but since Juda ism has no specific teachings on the subject, our talks usually cen ter around the couple's attitude towards children and the sex re lationship as a spiritual concept.” Sometimes a Necessity A local Catholic clergyman told the Emerald that “premarital counseling is a necessity only when a non-Catholic marries a Catholic.” Counseling involves six one hour sessions during which time the couple are instructed in their mutual rights and obligations in religion. ."We frequently counsel other wise,” he said, “but this is not ordained by church law. “Birth control is not as big a topic as you might imagine," he said. “Regarding the sex act, we believe that artificial control frus trates the essential meaning and is against nature. “You realize,” he continued, "that the topic of birth control is very involved. I’d suggest that couples discuss this very thor oughly with their priest rather than take my word for it.” Concerning marriage of per sons with no religious affiliations, reaction was divided. Itev. Merlin said he would per form the ceremony if the couple had a healthy attitude toward a religious marriage. “Some pastors won't however,” he said. “Theoretically, I suppose,” the priest said, “1 could marry such a couple. 1 mean, they have a li cense and I'm legally able to do it. 1 doubt, however, that I would, since there are just so many c4her things to do.” No Disabilities Rabbi Neitnand pointed out that according to Judaism, there would be "no disabilities in per forming such a marriage, if at least one of the persons involved is Jewish heritage. You must real ize that in our faith you’re always a Jew unless you embrace an other faith.” Both Rev. Merlin and Rabbi Neitnand agreed that they would marry divorced couples in the Church. Rev. Merlin pointed out that all Baptists, regardless of which branch, are free to marry whomever they choose. “I’m happy to marry such cou ples in instances where the di vorced person shows real repent ence for the failure of the mar riage, and understanding of the marriage and subsequent di vorce,” he said. The Catholic clergyman pointed out that such marriage are legal under church law only under cer tain circumstances. “It depends on whether the former bond was a true one,” he explained. “This might include civil ceremonies, death of the for mer spouse following the divorce, proof that the former spouse ac tually means "I don’t” when he said “I do.” or that the former spouse had no intention of having children. "Again, I advise that the couple discuss this pretty thoroughly with their priest.” Advise Against Large Wedding The three clergymen admitted that they sometimes perform cere monies within the church when the bride is pregnant. "They don’t usually tell you she’s pregnant, Rev. Merlin said, “and sometimes you wish they would. “I’d marry them, anyway, since I believe marriage would be the best solution for most couples, but I’d advise them against a large wedding. “Many brides want one, regard less of whether or not they’re pregnant, but it's not really right. Aside from the fact that it isn’t proper, the large wedding and accompanying publicity often serves to fix the wedding date in people’s minds, and later, they may wish that everyone wasn’t so sure of the date,” he concluded. fcngjfououcuo be diPpeftsiit? k<—, DovoU t&Kf special. deUyhl in finding » R-eSLy* ^OrjUflj^L ylpt cnljp to b8 dCPeited 0/ W8g&L />&3KJtfin9? &RJ* J/eUtiRJd of 'b<yie8-n-b«W&' pjttkr Ls? apes? u% not 'u)«ap' that special- ^iPt in ^^aesL-irvTiifl anirthirvthat uiu Pit-Oisrn sand t* aW&i-s - cap be seaLcd-in-TTVr• - Each can comes with >«#«. choice ®p e°ntcnpo J&HJJ UbSLS pLUS £ift tSjp. So Jfyoukp oOtto be d/Pfef\£nX, tfl£ SeaL-in-Tinr guX huf^. It moiVL be diPPef\?nt Lo»^, THE LOFT AT From the Datiy Aztec, Sen Diego State College American colleges are turning out a multitude of educated wo men who are unprepared to deal with the life of frustration they will face. An increasingly large number of coeds who find their niche in colleges these days, are pampered and spurred on to achievement during their four years and are given to expect great and stimulat ing things following their depar ture from the ivy halls. Sadly, the young college gradu ate often finds .she must play the dual role of feminine mystique with the men in her life and the aggressive entrepreneur in the profession she has chosen. Sociological studies show that the vast majority of college grad uated women are married within two years after graduation. Once in the firm bonds of matri mony, the woman finds herself majoring in diapers and deter gents. Some try to escape the four walls with outside jobs, but such time consumption is not long tol erated by the husband, who right ly assumes his wife should keep up her part of the bargain by tending the hearth. This is a heavy price to pay for beingtaugbt to think logically and independently. Hopefully, the coed will meet the man who will ■ encourage tier to grow intellectually along with him, but for the ones who don’t meet the understanding one, how long can they accept this dual role and stifle their educated talent for thinking? Rent to Cut Costs Rental stores can provide many different types of furnishings for weddings and receptions that otherwise .would have to be pur chased. Besides the usual banquet tables and folding chairs, rental stores usually carry candalabra, flower baskets, punch fountains, punch bowls, cups, serving trays and silverware. It pays to help cut costs by plan ning ahead and deciding what can be rented instead of bought. I Men’s Sportswear Photo by BHI Johnson THESE HAGGER stay pressed bermudas will go far espe cially when combined with shirt by Holbrook and London Fogjaeket in dacron and cotton blend. The waterproof! jacket comes in natural, olive and navy. Costs: pants and shirt from $7, jacket about $20. Notice the unusual com bination of pbii shirts and shipped bermudas—it’s high style guys. FOR SPRING CLEANING Laundry 10:00 4:00 / Hour Dry Cleaning FREE SUMMER STORAGE 1338 Hilyard Also 66 West 29th The Lift That Spring Brings Why not greet spring with a new hair style? You’ll feel better, too. We’ll add an elegant touch for the prom—or a casual one for spring in general IJotjue J3eautu dCt y. oL.oun<^e 539 E. 11th 3 blocks west of campus 343-1637
