Herald and news. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1942-current, November 14, 1963, Image 9

Historic Oregon Newspapers

Herald and news., November 14, 1963, Page 9, Image 9

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Newspaper Page TextHERALD AM) NEWS, Klanuth Falls, Oregon Thursday, November 14, 1963 PAGE-AI J Spontaneous Humor Often Fills America Classrooms Editor's Note This is one In i series of article about Amer ran schools in connection with Vmcrioan Education Week, WASHINGTON' Ask any cacher. Her class can produce nore humor in one day than a .lable of Hollywood gagwriters -and most of it is entirely spontaneous. Wlien you visit school during merican Education Week this .ear, the teacher may relay me of the amuxing things Oie hears from your children. Sometimes the humor crops up in word definitions: Veterinarians are animals hat were in the war. Three communicable dis eases are mumps, typhoid and rv. Rats carry blue bonnet plague. A hobby is something a person enjoys doing that is none of his business. 'Hasn't' and "Doesn't' are Lontraptions. A contradiction is some thing an inventor makes and people can't figure out. That Red Cross course helps you to save drowned peo ple with mouth-to-mouth recita tion. A teacher is daily exposed also to the terrifying logic of the very young which can also have its unconscious humor. For example: "I don't like my new teach er." said the new first grader. "When I went in, she said. 'Sit here for the present .'and she never brought one!" Jacohy On Bridge NORTH (D) 14 A AK64 VK85 Q872 83 WEST EAST A Q J 10 8 7 A 5 32 V 9 7 2 V None AIM J103 KQ J9 7 65 4 2 SOUTH A9 V AQJ 1064 3 K65 A 10 North and South vulnerable North East South West 1 Pass IV 1 A 2 V Pass 4N.T. Pass 5 Pass 6 V Pass Pass Pass Opening lead K The little girl complained to the teacher that she had hurt her foot during recess. "Which foot, dear?" inquired the teacher sympathetically. "1 don't remember now," said the little girl, "but it was one of these two." The little girl was telling her teacher that the lady next door had died the day before and she asked, "Teacher, do people who die go to heaven?" "Good people do," replied the teacher. "Well," said the little girl, "They must go at night. I've watched and watched and 1 never saw one go." Jeff could not recognize the word 'scream' in his reading, despite many clues. The teach er told him to cover the 's' to see what remained. Still no re sponse. The teacher asked, "Well, what does your mother put in her coffee?" "Toast," was the reply. The little girl making h e r i first visit to the school nurses' office saw a human skeleton used in health classes and com mented: "I know why he's sick he doesn't have any skin on." The first graders were learning scientific facts about sound. In introducing the role of the senses, the teacher asked them why smell was im portant. "Because," chirped a voice. "It helps me like my breakfast before I come downstairs." a Honolulu teacher was trying to give her kindergarten ers some idea of the great size of the mainland. She said: "You could drive five days in the United States in one direction without stopping. What would happen if you did that here?" "You'd run out of gas!" The teacher, trying to get across concepts of arithmetic, said "If there arc seven flies on your desk and you kill one. how many will remain?" and got this reply from a youngster: "One the dead one." Tlie humor is spontaneous, unconscious, and sometimes embarrassing, such as the let ter the sixth grader wrote to a noted entomologist who had lectured to the class on the dangers of rat infestation. Wrote (lie student: "Thanks so much for your talk. We didn't even know what a rat looked like un til you came to our class." But tlicn tliere are the com ments from the students that warm the cockles of the teach er's heart and make her glad all over again that she chose teaching. Like this one from the sec ond grader, first thing on No vember morning: "In my pray ers last night, I asked God to keep you well, 'cause I don't want no substitutes!" WEiS FIELD'S SAVE. BUY NOW.. Preview SALE of Christmas GIFTS NO MONEY DOWN... FIRST PAYMENT JANUARY 1964 FLINT" 7-Pc KNIFE SET Sli Mttt-UllS KltcStt KbIih Kllltn 19.9S Volut 5 Hope For Best P.v OSWALD JACOBY Newspaper Enterprise Assn. North didn't have much of : an opening bid, and after West j took him off the liook with his j one spade overcall, North shouldn't have raised to two hearts. j South moved right to the! heights. North had to respond to Blackwood and then hope for the best at six hearts. Soulh won the opening club lead and started to play trumps. East showed out on the first lead, and South stopped for a moment to determine the sig nificance of West's overall and of East's failure to raise. His conclusion was that West must have the ace of diamonds in addition to the king-queen of clubs and most of the spades. South ran off five trumps. His discards from dummy were a diamond and a club. East just discarded clubs. West let a spade and a diamond go. Now South was sure that West had discarded down to ace and a small diamond. He cashed dummy's two spades to discard his ten of clubs, ruffed a club, led a low diamond to ijummy's queen, returned a dia mond and played low. West had to play his ace and South's king of diamonds and last trump ac counted for the remaining two tricks. East thought that West could have discarded more intelligent ly, but actually South could make the hand against any de fense, once the club was opened. To get your copy of "Win at Bridge," just send your name, address, and 50 cents to: Os wald Jacohy Reader Service, care this newspaper, P.O. Box m. Dept. A, Radio City S t a tion. New York 19, X V. 14 Q The bidding has been: Soolb Wrt North East 1 Pass 1 V P- 2 Pass 4 Pass You. South, hold: 4Ai AJ KJ76 AAQ109S What do you do? A Bid four spades. Too plan to ret to six or sereo. but de not os BUokwood bemose too do not srmni to Uke foil rontroL TODAY'S QUESTION Tour partner bids five di monds. What do you do? Answer Tomorrow Idaho Counties Eye Secession BOISE (LTD Five Lcwiston Idaho residents proposed today that Idaho's 10 northern coun ties secede from the state and group themselves into the na tion's 51st state. Their plan was disclosed when they filed articles of incorpora tion with Secretary of State Arnold Williams for "North Ida ho, Inc.," a non-profit organization. unheain -ECTRIC SHAVER Olves Best Shaving Results! ANGLE SCISSOR- LIKE SHAVING 4W ACTION Oh IT" .7 UL3 2.0. MONTH VSs tiSZ MODEL " 333 A 1 2.M MONTH THE ELECTRIC SHAVER WITH AUTOMATIC SELF-ADJUSTING ROLLERS Exclusive new honing proce for extra keen cutter erigei, gives smoother nhaves. 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