HERALD AM) NEWS, Klanuth Falls, Oregon
Thursday, November 14, 1963
PAGE-AI
J
Spontaneous Humor Often
Fills America Classrooms
Editor's Note This is one In
i series of article about Amer
ran schools in connection with
Vmcrioan Education Week,
WASHINGTON' Ask any
cacher. Her class can produce
nore humor in one day than a
.lable of Hollywood gagwriters
-and most of it is entirely
spontaneous.
Wlien you visit school during
merican Education Week this
.ear, the teacher may relay
me of the amuxing things
Oie hears from your children.
Sometimes the humor crops up
in word definitions:
Veterinarians are animals
hat were in the war.
Three communicable dis
eases are mumps, typhoid and
rv.
Rats carry blue bonnet
plague.
A hobby is something a
person enjoys doing that is
none of his business.
'Hasn't' and "Doesn't' are
Lontraptions.
A contradiction is some
thing an inventor makes and
people can't figure out.
That Red Cross course
helps you to save drowned peo
ple with mouth-to-mouth recita
tion. A teacher is daily exposed
also to the terrifying logic of
the very young which can also
have its unconscious humor.
For example:
"I don't like my new teach
er." said the new first grader.
"When I went in, she said. 'Sit
here for the present .'and she
never brought one!"
Jacohy
On Bridge
NORTH (D) 14
A AK64
VK85
Q872
83
WEST EAST
A Q J 10 8 7 A 5 32
V 9 7 2 V None
AIM J103
KQ J9 7 65 4 2
SOUTH
A9
V AQJ 1064 3
K65
A 10
North and South vulnerable
North East South West
1 Pass IV 1 A
2 V Pass 4N.T. Pass
5 Pass 6 V Pass
Pass Pass
Opening lead K
The little girl complained to
the teacher that she had hurt
her foot during recess. "Which
foot, dear?" inquired the
teacher sympathetically. "1
don't remember now," said the
little girl, "but it was one of
these two."
The little girl was telling
her teacher that the lady next
door had died the day before
and she asked, "Teacher, do
people who die go to heaven?"
"Good people do," replied the
teacher. "Well," said the little
girl, "They must go at night.
I've watched and watched and
1 never saw one go."
Jeff could not recognize the
word 'scream' in his reading,
despite many clues. The teach
er told him to cover the 's' to
see what remained. Still no re
sponse. The teacher asked,
"Well, what does your mother
put in her coffee?" "Toast,"
was the reply.
The little girl making h e r i
first visit to the school nurses'
office saw a human skeleton
used in health classes and com
mented: "I know why he's sick
he doesn't have any skin on."
The first graders were
learning scientific facts about
sound. In introducing the role
of the senses, the teacher
asked them why smell was im
portant. "Because," chirped a
voice. "It helps me like my
breakfast before I come downstairs."
a Honolulu teacher was
trying to give her kindergarten
ers some idea of the great size
of the mainland. She said: "You
could drive five days in the
United States in one direction
without stopping. What would
happen if you did that here?"
"You'd run out of gas!"
The teacher, trying to get
across concepts of arithmetic,
said "If there arc seven flies on
your desk and you kill one. how
many will remain?" and got
this reply from a youngster:
"One the dead one."
Tlie humor is spontaneous,
unconscious, and sometimes
embarrassing, such as the let
ter the sixth grader wrote to a
noted entomologist who had
lectured to the class on the
dangers of rat infestation. Wrote
(lie student: "Thanks so much
for your talk. We didn't even
know what a rat looked like un
til you came to our class."
But tlicn tliere are the com
ments from the students that
warm the cockles of the teach
er's heart and make her glad
all over again that she chose
teaching.
Like this one from the sec
ond grader, first thing on No
vember morning: "In my pray
ers last night, I asked God to
keep you well, 'cause I don't
want no substitutes!"
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Newspaper Enterprise Assn.
North didn't have much of :
an opening bid, and after West j
took him off the liook with his j
one spade overcall, North
shouldn't have raised to two
hearts. j
South moved right to the!
heights. North had to respond
to Blackwood and then hope for
the best at six hearts.
Soulh won the opening club
lead and started to play trumps.
East showed out on the first
lead, and South stopped for a
moment to determine the sig
nificance of West's overall and
of East's failure to raise. His
conclusion was that West must
have the ace of diamonds in
addition to the king-queen of
clubs and most of the spades.
South ran off five trumps. His
discards from dummy were a
diamond and a club. East just
discarded clubs. West let a
spade and a diamond go.
Now South was sure that
West had discarded down to ace
and a small diamond. He
cashed dummy's two spades to
discard his ten of clubs, ruffed
a club, led a low diamond to
ijummy's queen, returned a dia
mond and played low. West had
to play his ace and South's king
of diamonds and last trump ac
counted for the remaining two
tricks.
East thought that West could
have discarded more intelligent
ly, but actually South could
make the hand against any de
fense, once the club was
opened.
To get your copy of "Win at
Bridge," just send your name,
address, and 50 cents to: Os
wald Jacohy Reader Service,
care this newspaper, P.O. Box
m. Dept. A, Radio City S t a
tion. New York 19, X V.
14
Q The bidding has been:
Soolb Wrt North East
1 Pass 1 V P-
2 Pass 4 Pass
You. South, hold:
4Ai AJ KJ76 AAQ109S
What do you do?
A Bid four spades. Too plan
to ret to six or sereo. but de
not os BUokwood bemose too
do not srmni to Uke foil rontroL
TODAY'S QUESTION
Tour partner bids five di
monds. What do you do?
Answer Tomorrow
Idaho Counties
Eye Secession
BOISE (LTD Five Lcwiston
Idaho residents proposed today
that Idaho's 10 northern coun
ties secede from the state and
group themselves into the na
tion's 51st state.
Their plan was disclosed when
they filed articles of incorpora
tion with Secretary of State
Arnold Williams for "North Ida
ho, Inc.," a non-profit organization.
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