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About The Evening herald. (Klamath Falls, Or.) 1906-1942 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 21, 1927)
, Tage Two. THE ELKS SHOW GAZOOT Monday. Feb. 21, 1927. ELKS' SHOV GAZOOT STAFF "You Can't Bathe Your Feet Tonight, Pa," " 'Cauie Ma it Cooking a Roast." Stop that by 'seeing the t LOREN2; COMPANY FOR CORRECT PLUMBING We bought the entire front row for the first showing of PURPLE FLASHES $0 pur entjre, Sflles force, wpukl be posted on the best in HOSE For the summer season - Main Otrico of Ih (laioot Noil Door to Jail; Ttre FllftiU vt. Swing your Partner to the Lett.' ' EDITORIAL STAFF. Kdltor und Undertaker ...i u ..".Pilnt Bruno" Old AilnaU'd Editor and (inpman Dynamite" Bplker Chicken Editor - Kd Hloomlnmuuip Moniy and Matrimony ... Buck" Wllltami Wawr Walton Editor - "Eiwex" Martin Circulation Liar "Shell" Matthewi Kluff, Pinochle, Rummy and other Sunday Krhool (latnee Hawkrttaw" Cotad EDITORIAL t v 7V.y, Published This Evening and the Editor Hopes no Other Evpning. ' Send all mail matter through the United States post office. 1 '; ' ' Stanips, garden truck, diamonds, 20 gold pieces and radium taken in exchange for subscription and advertising. Our newspaper exchange is limited to the following Sunday School papers, ; PoUcc Gazette, Pcruna, V dia Pink- ham i Advice to oung Men. ' . Ho ads for intoxicating h'quors will be run in this paper unless the editor is thirsty. This paper is published every day in'the week except Chinese New Year, St. Patrick's Day and D. B. Campbell's birthday. . ' f - - - ' " ' i V -IX CLOSING ' ' . ' We notice, with regrets, a growing tendency towards the use of slang; It is the bunk. Cut it out. The line of chin goods peddled by some ginks in this burg would fraz zle you. We'll tell the world we must can this slang. Use the dope in these here columns as models. , LETTERS TO THE EDITOR 'Mr. Elk's Head Why is there no marrying in Heav en ? Walt Worrell.' - " . ' " - Answer Some inducement besides harps and golden streets must be offered. Editor. 1 PURPLE FLASHES--' , " Dear Editor Is it proper to say "iall in love ?" Anx iously. Roy Durbin.- '- ' ' Answer Fall is the word. Editor. " ' PURPLE FLASHES My Dear Sir. I have been told I am good looking. Am Ir Babe Green. - " Answer You have neglected to send your photo, bo we must ask you if you have lots of money.-Editor. . - . ; PURPLE FLASHES: . -' Dear Editor Is. it all right for me to marry, now that earn enough o dress a wife as she wants to dress, and still have some? Ernest Xitchelm. - .-"Answer No one ever earned that much. Editor.'. ' , . r PURPLE FLASHES . Dear Editor If a lady tips her lid to me,' what shall I do?--Bill McMillan. ' ' " Auswcr Tip back, Bill, and act like you're used to it. Editor: . . . 1 ', ' PURPLE FLASHES Dear Editor Will you kindly tell me what Charlie Moore's daily income is? ReJpectfulIy, Internal Revenue Collector.' - ' ' : Answer Thee o'clock in the morning. Editor. -' PURPLE FLASHES Dear Editor Was the loose leaf system invested 1888? Qy J. Martin. ' ' . - - Answer Xo, the loose leaf sj-stem was introduced Adam and Eve. PURPLE FLASHES -Dear Captain I see where you answer some puzzling questions. J have one.-What is a gollywhopper? I. A. Towey: . -- Answer A gollyvhopper, according to the Encycvlp pedia Bullconia, is a species of humdinger, descendant of the Whangdoodle and cousin of the icthyosarus. Editor. ' - ' . PURPLE FLASHES P.a.r Editor Wpuidrj't we be far better off without any clothes? B. L. Hardenbrook. Answer Yes", the farther off the better. Editor. PURPLE FLASHES Dear Sir Why do, hey cajl a cannon, "she?" Zimm Baldwin. I ' j V. i'r , Answer If it were not hat we are married, we might be tempted to explain it is because they are always shoot ing off their mouths, but as we are married, we cannot an swer, his question. Editor. " ' j The Big Show li Here. LETTERS TO THE EpiTOR i My Dear Editor Can you send me the name of prom inent movie star who is not, or has not, been married? No name. Answer Yes,. Baby Peggy. Editor. PURPLE FLASHES Mr. Editor I'm in love with a poor girl and rich one. Which shall I marry? Martin Ramsbcrg. Answer Marry the poor one and send me the address of the rich one. Editor. ., PURPLE FLASHES in bv No, Brother Connolly, Rex Beach is not ti summer rC' sort. PURPLE FLASHES ADVICE TO T"(RE COMPANIES ' By "CAP" CALKINS " Perhaps you know those things which are to be seen along motor highways telling you about the town you will soon enter? They run something after this fashion 3 Miles from Here '' . Squidunkville was foundi-d in 1623 by the ' late John McPherson Squidunk. Here is was that Colonel Michael O'Toole single-handed and unarmed defied a tribe of Black- feet Indians in 169a Use Imperial Tread Tires The trouble with these siirns is that thev are uninter- estmg. Generally speaking, the subject matter of them is of an historical nature, and Henry Ford says hisotry is the bunk. At any rate the interest in them is not 'what it should be. Imagine how much more attention would bo paid to them if the signs were of a really attractive charac- ' BUNKHAMPTON Eight Miles from Here Bunkhairipton is noted far and wide Jor having the crookedest lot of town politicians in the country. As you enter the town you will note that you pass over a. fairly new concrete bridge.. Normally such a bridge would cost about $20,000, However, during Cyrus K.' Hamm' admin istration as Mayor of Bunkhampton, the bridge was built by the Cyrus K. Hamm Construction Company at a cost of $85,000. Makeshift Tires Go Straight , MEADONIA , Two Miles from Here Meadonia, beautifully situated on the banks of Ganawana River, is the principal seat of the tannine glue industry of the Province. Detour to left. Speedway Tires For Endurance. the and You are Now Entering UMPVILLE Vmp.Y'.I'e is popularly known as "Catty. Corners," a,nl produces a greater volume of malicious gossip per capita than any other "community" in the country.. Here resides Miss Eliza Spysnigglc, for six consecutive years world's champion troublemaker ' . Oilytread Tires Have the" Best Reputation " You have just passed through , SMUTVILLE Psalms 146:1- ri CLm I - i MM lrT 0 first Headquarters for Garden Hose ED SAYS C. J. McNAUGHTAN, The Elks Show Chief-High-Mogul drives a Studebaker Cus tom Sedan. v HERB SAY$-" " " ' i ' i ' The Exhausted FootrRule of the Elklets, High Power Olds drives a Buick. DUNHAM MOTOR CO, BUICK GARAGE WE DO ALL WORK OLD'S DOES! We furnish all paint except Noe faint Let us hang around your home. You'll like our fireproof wallpaper Browne's Pint Store . . On Main between heaven and hell WE DO ALL WORK BROWNE DOES! . , . , .. .. .. , Wooden, legs painted from the ground up We will furnish complexions forthe ' Beauty Chorus F.R.OLDS ARCADE HOTEL There are three stories to this -hotel Come in and we'll tell you one. ELKS IN GOOD STANDING ADMITTED ANY HOUR - Aeroplane - Roof Garden Special Room - for "Tanks' BUT SERIOUSLY SEE OUR ROOMS Comfort and Service Await You ARCADE HOTEL SPECIAL ATTRACTION "Purple Flaihet" Will Feature'' Drummond's Trained Type Lice '. IN A Novelty Act Entitled "I'ma-Hunka-Cheese-and-So's-Your Old Man. Drummond's Print Shop P riter of JThe Browse" . , I : II : 1 II " ' ; II 1 ; II ' I What A Man Should Know WE DO PRINTING AND SELL OFFICE FURNITURE .'. S-S-S-H! . IPS W, Q, SiyjIT PRITG co, . o vms r i viu v .u-i. ja What A Wcaan Should Know ... 1 1' HARDWARE HARD1 TO1 GET i EASY TO WEAR We'd like to use some of our tools on those two Elk galoots who' told us that for seven-fifty we could say we are stiU dojng v , , i business . ROBERT'S and HARVEY 1 1 I f - .- ... MOTOR INN We can pep the old bus up for you bo Shorty Foster and Lee Craft can never catch up with you . ' gelding Gas and Oil Legitimate Repairs i Half-P,t Two Main St Phone 294 J "BILL" Invite us to your next "BLOW-OUT" IMPERIAL GARAGE C. T 0, TIRES WESTERN MADE . Car Storage . Fprd, ncluded AND Get Ui; Up. With Prest-O-Lite
