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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 24, 1963)
Quips and Quotes Cart System Some fishermen, whose luck is poor, Bring sandwiches to make quite rare That if the fishing's unexciting, At least SOMEBODY will be biting! Dick Emmont A television program had searched for "the happily married couple" and had found a pair just celebrating' their 50th anniversary. In the syrupy tones of the typical tv master of ceremonies, the announcer asked: "During those 50 years, I understand you never once considered divorce." "That's right," the wife replied. "But I did seriously consider murder." Wilfred Beaver The worst part of being on a diet is eating with some body who isn't. Dan Bennett An elderly lady was learning how to drive and was find ing things thoroughly confusing. She turned the wrong direction on a one-way street and was stopped by the fran tic whistle of a traffic officer. "Lady," he shouted, "You're headed for trouble didn't you see all those arrows?" "Heavens," the lady replied, "I didn't even see any Indians." Ken Kraft Lf Taka a Look at tho Record You're ready, dear lady, with wise advice On how I should rear my children. But much as I love you, I'll confess Your stand is a bit bewilderin'. For there was a little boy you trained Who never wore rubbers when it rained And wouldn't get up when called in the morning; Who always refused to heed a warning To watch his digestion, and greeted with scowls The notion that towel racks were made for towels. Yes, that little boy, to put it discreetly, Confounded your child-rearing system neatly. He clearly evaded your training rules. Or maybe they ran right through him. I know, for that little boy grew up, And now I am married to him! Georgie Starbuck Galbraith - e "This cheek I'm making out to the beauty parlor what is it fort" 1 I p you've never gone to Grandmother's house for Thanksgiving, I pity you. My grandmother's house wasn't over the river and through the woods. It was even better. It was out Tip Highway under the peach trees beside the smokehouse, and my grandmother was the way all grand mothers ought to be and seldom are any more. She was soft and ample with fly-away white hair and twlnkly blue eyes and love in her for all the world. At my grandmother's house on Thanksgiving we sat in the kitchen in the morning, and I rode to Banbury Cross on Granddaddy's knee while Grandmother fried eggs and pork chops and potatoes and made gravy. No breakfast ever after tasted as good. At my grandmother's house on Thanksgiving the table cloth was always fine and white because my grandmother washed clothes every day of her life. And she baked rolls and pies no mix can ever match, and she preserved jams and jellies, the like of which you'll never find in a store. After Granddaddy asked the Lord to bless this food to our use, Amen, Grandmother passed the ham and turkey, the apple butter and the peach preserves, the mashed pota toes and the yams, the turkey gravy and the cornbread dressing, the succotash, hominy, and mustard greens,- and the thick slices of homemade bread. And we drank buttermilk and sweet milk from Bessie, the cow, and the grownups drank Grandmother's clear, strong coffee made with an egg and a cheesecloth bag. Then Grandmother brought out the pumpkin pie and the mince pie and the hickernuf cake. (Only after I was grown-up myself did I learn about hickory nuts instead.) After that, we all had to lie down in the parlor or the' bedrooms and take a long nap because pretty soon Grand mother would be out in the kitchen again, and then we would have homemade ice cream and sugar cookies or a dish of cornstarch pudding. That's how it was on Thanksgiving at Grandmother's house. If you have no memories such as these, then you are poor, indeed. v But, ah, how rich am I. Balloons will thrill your youngsters too! Now in new shapes new P"""" colors sealed fresh and I at variety, drug, If .fc'VJVV and grocery It fL stores.. BEN Hi ' stores. ..BEN FRANKLIN, SCOTTS, TG4T and KUStS, I nutans) urn?; "miimmnii ) GPrt?, Picnic ind CnH Book I lot! wilh idM Iw lutag balloooi. I Sand 10c ch 2Sc lor 3 to: OAJC, RAVENNA 2, OHIO. Merry 'Christmas Lei's SNOWBALL Christmas happiness by generous use of Christmas Seals. i ciwwTMAft ) o Oftcrrmos U W00G9 HiffllUf (Ml HELPS HEART ACTION GIVES MORE STRENGTH STAMINA VIGOR PROVED 1 0 years-600 persons University Experiments REFUSE SUBSTITUTES- only VioBin Oil PROVED helpful. fond NOW for FREE book IIS IMIOMFTCX I 10 1 vtoor fortoc I conconrral Violin OIL Sam I btnofHt NO fat calarlM. I tlauld . VtOfMM MONTICEUO, IUINOIS
