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About Medford mail tribune. (Medford, Or.) 1909-1989 | View Entire Issue (April 19, 1936)
f Fun For looted Theater "Line Plunger Reveals Secret Formula For Success In Obtaining a Seat By Elwood Ullman AFTER cruising around for 10 minutes In a vain hunt for parking apace, you finally break down and guide your car into a lot where the mooring charge Is 25 cents. "It's cheaper this way," you aro reminded, "considering tho gaso line you'd use scuttling up and down the streets all night." And what's more to the point, sho won't have to walk very far. Across the street twinkles the movie theater, which looks like a cross between the Taj Mahal and the Library of Congress. "Any seats?" you inquire of the cloaked dignitary near the cash ier's booth. "Plenty of seats," he replies, with a gracious bow. When you get Inside, you find a mob of people herded behind ropes like prisoners of war. There's plenty of scats, all right, only they're all occupied. Another magnlflco glides up. "More desirable seating In tho balcony," ha announces In elegant accents. SO YOU trudge upstairs, finally emerging in the rarifled at mosphere of timber line. A blond slron In silk pajamas escorts you six rows higher. This borders the stratosphere. Thrco more aisles and you'd need fur-lined shoes and an oxygen helmet. When the usherette stops and waves you to a scat, everybody In the designated aisle throws you a dirty look for picking on their pew. They heartily wish you'd go and select some other Hardy Japanese 1 Purified ' by By Rose McKee AN OLD Japanese custom In blttor winter weather, hun dreds of Japanese clad only In thin white cotton robes, nightly make pilgrimages to the grounds of temples and shrines, there to bathe their naked bodies under icy waterfalls. Kan-malrl, a centuries-old puri fication rite, Is passing out of tv n 4ii Ma v.v- it w i . iir,Mii a sv . t ... ,.W Kan-malrl, a oenturlet-old purification rite, Is still performed In Americanized Tokyo as In the ancient past. The picture shows two laborers about to plunge under a zero-cold waterfall. style, but It still has such a strong hold on the masses that In Ameri canized Tokyo as many as 2H0 flock to tho grounds of a single tcmplo to Impose this torturo upon themselves night after night during tho long cold spell. With strips of white cloth tied aiound their heads, the devout make picturesque little bands as they move toward tho temple grounds. From their sashes hang hells that tinkle at every step. In their hands they swing red paper lan terns which effectively illuminate their white garb- striking symbol of purity against the blackness of night and pick out paths for their feet, frequently bare. In a small dressing room near the pool of the temple yard, they remove all clothing except a 11 string, which covering Is required by police the zealous guardians of Tokyo's morals. The moro modest wrap towels For Tin Ykars- IhtitllMi and phytkMn fot nl4 and tfitirrJ 0-1 -to Mliilirtl numrti fiiintmii. All It's aisle, or sit on the chandelier or on a tack, for all they care. You don't particularly enjoy discommoding people, but after all you paid your admission and are entitled to that seat. So you start to Jimmy your way past their knees. Now a movie audience is com posed of four kinds f people, to wn: (a) Swayers. They sway knees slightly to starboard or port While not much of a concession, It at least shows the right spirit, willingness to co-opcrute. (b) Crouchers. They rise half way and hold, the seat with one hand. A croucher Is a swaycr with ambition. (c) Total stand-uppers. Very rare. When a man rises the whole distance, it's such an unusual courtesy you become suspicious. You think maybe he got up so he could pick your pockets. (d) Total sitters, .which class seems to be preponderantly in the majority. TOTAL sitters rllnf to their seats like a burr on a knitted sweater. They wouldn't rise, or even sway, no matter if a troop of infantry carrying full field equipment marched past. They sit stolidly, rigidly, like graven images, and don't seem to mind It in the least when their toes are mashed and their shins kicked. In other words, they can take it. I know of but two things that will make a Class D spectator quit his scat. He will certainly get up after seeing the whole show, when they repeat the scene he saw on arriving. ("Here's Worshipers Ice Water Dips around their abdomens as they walk toward tho pool. The only shivering that is done as the pious wade knee-deep in the zero-cold pool Is that of the teeth-chattering Americans and other foreign ers who have come to watch the . spectacle. With a clapping of the hands that resounds sharply In the frosty air, they shout, "Zange, zange, rokkon ahojo," and boldly plunge under the ley waterfolla. An the cohl water cuts ami beats against thrlr akin, they scrub, rlap ami pray, repealing, "antic, Rant p. rokkon shojo," which mean 'repentance, repent ance, purification nf the hotly " The torture lasts a long ttve min utes. AT HOMK of the temple, not Mike trice wine l In sold or given to the pilgrims to warm them before beginning their long walk home In the penetrating coM, agattm which their thin 00 1 ton robot are futile protection. Most of the plous arrive around H p. m. but la hot-era, whose day' toil keeps them working half the nig h t . do not nog loot t he n t e. even though It Is frequently after midnight when they arrive for their icy purinYitlon. Like the Greeks, they have word for H - the pious faithfully believe their prayers will be re j warded and they will have, sfter .10 nights of frigid bathing, a strong mind and a strong body. Hut the shivering American hud dled In the shadows watching the spectacle would say that they must have both to stand the shock! Bank Night and You'd Better Be inCondition As the house becomes still and tense with expectancy, little Dorothea Blunderbuss, six years old, draws a ticket. "Janlska Kopolovlc," bawls the manager. But there is no Janlska Kopolovic. where we came In.") Then, 1 Imagine, he would get up If the place caught on fire. MERRIMENT I ) "Please .bear with its a momciif the bird imitator just sow a buy!" BIRD MAN LISTEN, Chief. If you're going to Cleveland tonight there's only one way on godsgreenearth to go and that's fly. You'll never get me Into a slow stuffy train when I can fly. No sir. Why, that night trip over the Allcghcn les Is simply superb. Dangerous? Listen, Chief, those babies that pilot that line are personally ac quainted with every branch on every tree from Newark to Chi cago. Engines? Say, there's only one way to stop those engines and that's turn the switch off. And talk about hostesses. Chief. You oughta see the. eye tonics they got on those planes. Umm hmmmm! They tip your seat back and tuck your blanket in and if you have the back scat 1 wouldn't be surprised If thev'd kiss you good night. I always Hay there's only one way on gods greenearth to travel and that's bv air. What's that; Chief? You want me to go along? Okay. Chief Sure. Llsti-n. Chief. See those clouds Just coming In ove;- the northwes " They mean a sto- m. sure. With a big storm like thnt coming up the plane mlcht not fly. so- how I mean? We can't take ch.-inoi'S cm delay, can we Chief? So look You let me gel cur reservations on the t:aln. nf" I know a fellow over In the ticket ofltrc. Right. I always say wucn there's anv doubt at all 4 111 J . Si U II . - I f- III III Some pcvplr havr In passing a row of Class L spectators, X am altogether mer ciless. I mean I don't pick my about the plane taking off why there's only one way on gods grcenearth to travel and that's by train. C. L. Funnctt In Italy, apparently, military service begins as soon as you are able to walk and ends as soon as you aren't. THIRTEEN ILIVE on floor fourteen, but know .hat floor the twelfth ts right below; And since no floor comes in be tween. My floor should clearly be thir teen! While few would bet a large amount That Hoodoo witches cannot count, ' My Innrtlord evidently thinks He's put one over on the Jinx. Of course I do not fear a Hoodoo Or Jinx --at least, no more than you do, But still I ask in wistful verse. Does skipping numbers dodge the curse ? Arthur Guiterman FAUTE DE MIEUX TRAVEL, trouble, music, art, A kiss, a frock, a rhyme, I never said they feed my heart. But still they pass my time. Dorothy Parktt -V- CAN !lV i ' . all the luck' way gingerly and mutter apolo gies. They give no quarter and in fairness to them it must be MIRTH HELLO. FRISCO! HELLO Weber, this is Kartiny speaking." "Who?" "Kartiny." "Louder, please. I can't hear you." "Kartiny. K-a-r-t-l-n-y." "Sorry. Didn't get It." "Kartiny!" K as in 'O.K.' A as In eh?" R as in 'arc' T as in 'tea' I as In 'eye' N as in 'anything' Y as in 'why' Get me?" "Oh, sure! Hello Rumpel meyer." L. O. We wonder if some of the au thors who write so confidently of what the world will be like a hundred years from now could tell us what it will be like six months from now. A kibitzer is a guy with an In terferiority complex. The only way some politicians can get in the public eye Is by getting In the public's hair. Nowadays anybody who has a plan to do something with some body else's money is an econo mist. SAFETY CRUSADER By Gurney Williams SAY. officer, hop in my car, will you? I want you to ar rest the driver of that sedan ahead. Well. I've been following that car it has four men in it for a couple of minutes and the crazy driver has busted about every traffic law that was ever made. . . Certainly I'm sure, and I'd be willing to testify against him. too Sure I would Well, no. we couldn't catch him now, but you got his number, didn't you? I have, anyway. . . . Well. I'll tell you. He went through four red lights, for one thing. I know because I went right through after him, checking up, and I almost ran over a nurse and a baby carriage trying to keep up with him. He must be drunk or something. Then he went on the wrong side of a safety island so fast that I knocked over one of the stand ards as I tried to follow him. At 10th Street he turned right so suddenly thai. I scraped a parked car as I made the turn. I may have knocked over a grocery boy, too, but perhaps he just titnned. Anyhow, when I looked In my mirror I saw a lot of groc eries scattered around the street. So you can see how fast this crack-pot was tearing. . . . What? What fire plug? . . No, omcer. I didn't see it. I'm sorry. 1 just slopped at the curb to tell you about this nut. Hon estlv, I didn't see the tire plug. . . No. of course I don't know who the other sap is. . . . All tight, go ahead and tell me. . . . What! Inspector O'Reilly, of the riot squad! .... Making a quiet raid? Oh. . . Yes. omcer. here it Is. And here's my owner s card, too Yes. officer. ... Yes. officer nine-thirty Wed nesday morning. Not only are the old songs best, but they also provide employ ment for scores of songwriters, thinking up new nanvs fnr them. Scientific Technic Heeded For War With Hardy Sitters and Evexi Then You Dont Win admitted that they ask none. So I take a deep breath, tense my muscles and then plow through the aisle.like a threshing machine, lopping off legs instead of wheat. They call me "The Wild Jug gernaut of the Theaters." In others words, I flash with the same brilliance I showed on the gridiron when a halfback. People who have admired my performance on Bank nights sometimes come' up to me and ask, "How do you do It?" Well, the secret is conditioning. Proper nourishment, plenty of sleep (in a well-ventilated room) and a good brisk hike In the morning before breakfast by following these simple rules I manage to be at my peak whenever Bank night rolls around COMES the evening's big mo ment in the intermission be tween shows. As the house be comes still and tense with expec tancy, little Dorothea Blunder buss, six years old, mounts the "Good heavens! I've IF NEWSPAPER MEN TALKED AS THEY WRITE REPORTER, Introducing Wife to City Editor: "Chief, I want you to meet the man's al leged wife, an attractive young matron of 37. Dear, this Is Mr. Jones, an editor of a morning newspaper." Washington Correspondent, ad dressing Wife at dinner table: "My dear. I have it on the word of an official high in the Culinary Department that there is more pie in the pantry." Copy Editor, observing Small Daughter in the1 act of yanking the coffee pot off the table, to Wife: "Nab child and avoid crash possibly fatal burns." Political Reporter, interviewing Young Son: "Well, your Honor, it is rumored that you did not pass your examination Are you prepared to discuss the subject now or will you isu- a statement later in tho day"" . A. Muschamp stage and dips her pudgy hand Into the basket of tickets. She draws one out and turns it over to the manager. "Number 12,723!" ho bawls. "Janiska Kopolovic!" There is a murmur, then silence. People stand up. Necks crane. But there is no Janiska Kopolovic. There never is, in fact. 1 have attended probably a round dozen Bank nights in the last six months and not only failed to win a prize myself, but never saw anyone else step up to claim the prize. As the lucky party fails to put in his appearance, the whole thing is called off, with the money to be carried over till next week. The crowd moans in disappoint ment, but the lights go out and I hey quickly forget their disap pointment watching a color car toon showing a bunch of cock roaches having a swimming meet in the kitchen sink. FRIVOLITY missed my train!' MY SOUVENIRS AMONG my souvenirs; ah, me. A hundredweight of fond debris. Where did I get this faded leaf? Why did I steal this handker chief? Why was this photo perpe trated? I'm almost sure I never dated The owner of this ex-gardenia. Who sent this postal from Armenia? Who lost this hat? Who dropped this rose? I must have been, to Judge from those The bits of junk I set much store on. A Casanova ... or a moron! John R. Swain Radio sponsors, we read, a r anxious to give the public whnt It wants. This makes It look ok if one or the other 's crar.v prTiiMi ii I !killl 111 PAGE EIGHT-B r ." rs-llr. If, a ,,.,::r ! rpto-r.'
