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About The Hermiston herald. (Hermiston, Or.) 19??-1984 | View Entire Issue (May 27, 1937)
THE HERMISTON HERALD, HERMISTON, OREGON. Thursday, M ay 27, 1937 U N CO M M O N A M E R IC A N S By Elmo Scott Watson • W e i le r n N ew spaper Union THE FEATHERHEADS JUST L O O K A T T H A T P IL E . O P SAN D/ Early-Day Dictator T ONG before M ussolini or Hitler <seT "EATS at a my . PfcSTAÜßWT ■*—' w ere born, an A m erican gave a dem onstration of “ how dictators g et that w a y .” His nam e w as Adol phus F rederick Hubbard and he w as lieutenant-governor of the state of Illinois at the tim e. In 1825 Gov. Edward Coles notified the lieutenant - governor that he would leave the state the next month and that Hubbard would be responsi b le for the execu tive duties during h is ab sen ce which would not exceed three m onths. But Coles ca m e back sooner than he had expected. The lieutenant-governor, however, w a s so w ell pleased with the job that h e decided he would like to go on governing. So he announced that C oles, by his absence, had “ abdi ca te d ” and that as lieutenant-gov ernor, the legal su ccessor to the governor, he, Hubbard, w as now th e governor. Coles paid no atten tion to this but returned to his duties and w as recognized by all the ex ecu tive officers as governor. U ndiscouraged by this fact, Hub bard issued a com m ission as pay m a ster general to W. L. D. Ewing and when the secretary of state refused to sign it, Ew ing, prompted thereto by Hubbard, appealed to the Suprem e court to issue a m andam us forcing the secretary to sign the com m ission . The court refused so Hubbard next appealed to the legis lature to support him in his claim to the governorship. When it ca m e to a vote, only two legisla to rs cam e out openly for the “ pretender” and after a while Hubbard decided to abandon his plan of becom ing “ governor by usurpation.” Later he decided to win that hon or by m ore legal m ethods ar.d dur ing the cam paign he m ade a speech which has becom e a cla ssic in Am erican political history. He said: “ F ellow -citizens, I offer m yself as a candidate before you for the office of governor. I do not pretend to be a m an of extraordinary talen ts; nor do I claim to be equal to Julius C aesar or Napoleon Bonaparte, nor y et to be a s great a m an as m y opponent, Governor Edw ards. N ev erth eless I think I can govern you pretty w ell. I do not think it will require a very extraordinarily sm art m an to govern you; for to tell the truth, fellow-citizens, I do not think you will be very hard to govern, nohow !” P. S. He w asn’t elected. ’232 Dirty Crack . ------B ü 7-r O N ty A T SOME PLACES DO VO LI 6eT F ood •.... By C. M. PAYNE S*M ATTER POP—These Deteckativs Can Sure Lead You Into a T rap ! T l I e m - / a a i n ' t z S o l N O S U S P IC IO N I, A T 3O U T Ì N O IS O S V T w in ' NO-nJiH, T o MdTiO^V H oofing and Mouthing» FINNEY OF TH E FORCE Hopeless By T e d O lx x w h lia • By Warten Newafega» Usía. |>A <SLAD VA SAID HE USED tD SIM Ö-— Yankee Saint N E hundred years ago they looked upon John Humphrey N oyes as a m adm an, a crank, a heretic and an im m oralist. But to day the historians speak of him a s “ a Yankee sain t,” a “ true gen iu s” and “ one of the noblest pioneers A m erica has ever pro duced ” Born in Vermont, N oyes w as edu cated at Dartmouth and prepared h im self for a career in law. But the religious fervor which sw ept the country in the early 1830’s seized him and he entered Apdover theo logical sem inary to prepare him self BRONC for the m inistry. H owever, after ob taining his licen se to preach, Noyes began to rebel against dogm atic and professional religion. Becom ing known for his heresies, his license w a s taken aw ay from him. Then he announced he w as going to e s tablish a kingdom of God on earth arid he founded the Putney com m unity in Vermont. There he put into p ractice his phil osophy of Christian Comm unism w hich includea the m ost intim ate relationships of living. B ecause of th ese daring experim ents, Noyes w as repeatedly persecuted b y groups of reform ers and m ore than once he narrowly escaped im prison m ent F inally, he m oved his colony to Oneida, N. Y„ where it becam e fam ous for the su ccessfu l industries it started. In 1869 N oyes inaugurated anoth er experim ent which brought down upon him a fresh storm of protest from the exponents of traditional m orality. He called it “ stirpicul- tu re” which w as nothing m ore than a program of scientific breeding for the hum an race long before the word “ eu gen ics” had been coined T he resu lts of these experim ents are said by actuarial exp erts to be unparalleled in the records of m odern vital statistics. In 188! his Oneida com m unity w as changed to a corporation and by the tim e of his death five years later there w as little left of the original idea of the com m unity but its nam e. During the next half cen tury the nam e of John Humphrey N oyes sank into obscurity. Then his biography w as written oy a modern scholar who has d eclared: “ How ever obvious his d efects rem ain, John N oyes possessed the attributes of genius . . . Such a life nas seem ed far m ore worthy of com m em oration than m any of those m ore celebrated, m ore honored by the nation and the world, yet who never dared, as N oyes did, to translate ideals into the reality of livin g.” vJE L L -O N C E T HE U S E D T o SIM® ifd CHURCH— O H /— O l HEAR H IM COMIM' N O W / I" f iN u e y HULLQ GURRLY— OCM up ÁLL WASHED NOW you’Re ( T b l l ih ' us/ “HOW DR*/ Ol A M " , BE WAM S O N S- that A IN 'T S o <3000 FEfc BATH TUB TtUOPS O By FRED HARMAN PEELER— Withers’ Decision ---—— ——— —— — ———————— — Hurrah for the Moon Sam bo had joined a debating so ciety , and the day after his first m eeting he was being questioned by friends. “ What w as de subject of de de bate, Sam bo?” “ De subject w ere, ‘What Is de Most Benefit to Mankind, de Sun or de Moon?’ ” replied Sambo. “ And which side did you take?” “ De m oon’s ,” said Sambo. "1 argued dat de sun shines by day w hen w e doan’ need de light, but de moon shines by night, when dat light m o s’ certainly am needed. An' dey couldn't answer dat, su h l” —Tit-Bits M agazine. Curse o f Progress I KEEPING QUIET o u i* -fc n e t fbcoMt ON IN, #1« neiHEX-SW i w y ï ow To be û L irf By GLUYAS W ILLIAM S ¡ -w.fïi iM PhW ututo RoortPcoR t r o t WHI4PER4 sift)- TtN lV HE’LL B W HIM U t u f lAIMIIto HI won . WbNMR WHttWER O S ~ N fR V WOULD M M E ) MUCH N O I « ."TW m w m «now RMf URÍOSSfH- . iw e s is t , «ÛOMlt)6ff PRi»«6 jmirhs a u i t i w , rsnfvmrok OR &HAKIHÔ ON BED vJrfH BOORS HOUi.r UPSO ii RB. Worm Turns u Angus w as out for the evening and when he returned he found his father w aiting up for him. “ How much did the evening cost ye, lad?” he asked at once. “ Half a dollar." “ That’s not so bad,’ he said, vis ibly relieved. “It w as all she h ad,” the boy ex plained. n w t K K e w o » ’ 8 tr ts i- 14 RA’SFP BELOW. 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