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About The Hermiston herald. (Hermiston, Or.) 19??-1984 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 6, 1936)
THURSDAY, AUGUST 6. 1936 THE HERMISTON HERALD, HERMISTON, OREGON. PAGE SEVEN UK WORLD’S BEST COMICS SCÜ ns about The Fair Sex Lighter Side of Life as Depicted by Famous Cartoonists and Humorists ohemian grove , Up here in the Bo hemian club’s grove where, dur ing the summer encampment, no THE FEATHERHEADS women are allowed either at large CANT You Do SOMETHING or on the leash, I’ve been thinking ABOUT THAT PORCH 1 ALL RIGHT- SWING 2 IT CERTAINLY about their little peculiarities. ILL TAKE A B CALIF,— If two women were cast away on a desert island with just each other for company, and after, let’s say, ten or fifteen years, the rescue steamer ar rived, they’d both be half way up the gangplank before either remembered the really impor tant things she’d been intending all along to say to her companion; and no Irvin S. Cobb matter if the tide were falling and the wind rising, they’d stop right there in their tracks and thresh it all out. If you doubt this, see what hap pens when a pair of them are swapping good-bys, after an all day conversation, on finishing a long chatty motor trip together. If they can find a narrow doorway where they’ll block traffic, that’s where they’ll halt, always. It’s a curious sex, any way you take it. But we men keep on taking it and liking it. I don’t know wheth er we’re dumb—or numb. Must be one or the other. CREAKS y's QuAY To Be STRUM -ED ON V JOUR ZITHER- TERRIBLY — WHAT KINP. TENSION — SHOULD N T LOOK AT OF NOISE ANNOYS AN O/STER 2 WH/-A Noisy NOISE ANNOYS. AN —( aistii^ By C. M. PAYNE POP—Ho, Kids! Here’s Something to Do About Dirty Faces! ■ o Chip Off the Old Block. CELEBRATING his fifth birthday — the other day, my small grand- son and namesake met another gentleman of like age who bragged that his nurse brought him to the party in a car. “Can your mama drive a car?” inquired the guest. “No,” answered my descendant, “but I’m going to teach her. All you do is start off and keep going till you have to stop, and then you say, ‘Damn those red lights.’ ” It would appear that Cobby has been listening to his grandfather. MESCAL IKE Swing Your Partner By S. L. HUNTLEY ′ I WISHT I HADDA NICKEL FER EVER GAL Ive KISSED! 7 DONT TOO $ I UNDERSTAND HE'S THE KIND ( OF MAN WHO 4 TIME TH MAN ALWAS BRINGS ) WHAT OWNED T. BACON / HONE THE / CAUGHT ) JUST Love THE SOUND OF A . XSAXOPHONE ' DD OU ' KNOW THE PERSIANS 1 HEAR SHE "KEPT THE PRESENTS). ] SAE HER eov THAT CAME— “12 FRIEND TE.e BACON EE: PLAERS HEAD . Praising King Edward. F HE was a Communist, of a breed who are usually half- baked mentalities, it was only to be expected that his effort to mur der King Edward should be—thank heavens—a fizzle. If he was a lunatic, then he’s the kind of lunatic who should spend the rest of his days behind high walls. If he was a deliberate as sassin—well, at least he gave a gallant monarch a chance to show how gallantly monarchs can be have in the face of danger. Any man, given the royal back ground and an open path to the throne, can be a king, but not ev ery king is a man. This king is— he proved it and this part of the world rejoices at the outcome. • • • Secret Stuff HouRE NOT IN UNIFORM- HAVEN’T You REPORTED . SHURE Ol * HAVE — A H our AGO OuR regular ASSIGNMENT " TONIGHT Z [7 km - I GET IT. ==s SOU WE ON A SPECIAL. DETAIL / |N PLAIN CLOTHES. NO— NOT TONIGHT WHO TOLD OHCoLOSIFEP V rgucy WAN WAY ‘KAPE UNDER The Troubles of Europe. have our own trou W E bles, MAY including so many mounting taxes over the land and so much mountain music over the radio, but what with Spain rent by internal war, and France hav ing strikes which almost approxi mate war, and Poland threaten ing revolt against Nazi control of what, laughably, is called the “Free” City of Danzig, and the rest of them pretty generally stew ing in their respective political cas seroles, we’re lucky. In fact I can think of but one thing the European nations have which we could use, but, alas, will never get, needless to say. I refer to the money they owe us. ADAMSON’S ADVENTURES By O. JACOBSSON Button, Button How the League Performs NDER the rattle of the machine guns and the shrieks of the victims as civil war flames across Spain, that faint creeping sound which you hear, sounding some thing like a mouse in the wainscot ing, is the League of Nations tak ing its customary prompt steps to enforce peace upon this and all other distracted countries whatso ever. By the way, does anyone remem ber when, once upon a bygone time, there was a war to end the persistent disease called war, a final war which forevermore would restore true democratic principles and motherly love to rival nations and embittered peoples? To date the result makes one almost de spair of ever finding a cure for my dandruff. U IRVIN S. COBB. Copyright.—WNU Service. Pandas Live in Trees The panda, not to be confused with the giant panda, is a scientific puzzle. In some ways he looks and acts as if he might be a rela tive of the raccoon. In other ways he seems to be kinfolk to bears. Scientists never have been able to decide this question, so they gave him a family name of his own, Aelurus fulgens. In their native Nepal, pandas live in holes in trees and sometimes hide among the rocks. They are nocturnal crea tures, and it is customary for them to have twins. Their cry is a sud den squawl. ===== mi -ereusas anssHRrJ nsussnurg »lasiitw« ■ mu=nun=ea= i(© 1936. by Consolidated News Features)’ His Problem Peeve Into the night court they marched a man who had all the earmarks of a professional tough guy. This chap was as desperate looking as any go- rilla you’ve ever seen. The magistrate looked down at the surly prisoner. “Well,” asked His Honor, “guilty or not guilty?” The prisoner scowled. “Figure it out yourself,” he snarled. "That’s what yer gettin’ paid for!"—Mark Hellinger in New York American. Not Needed “In this scene, Miss Trimm, the young man rushes into the room, grabs you, binds you with rope from head to foot, and then smoth ers you with kisses,” explained the film director. “Is the young man tall, fair, and handsome?” the actress asked. “Yes. Why?" he asked. “Then he won’t need an rope," she replied.—Stray Stories Maga zine. By GLUYAS WILLIAMS DIVERSION IS WAVINO A NICE CRY OUT ON THE 6RA55, NoY BECAUSE ANY- JN6‘s THE MATER BUT JU51 BECAUSE WE WANT 10 ONGiE GEoRGE, MANO THROWN A EREA MANY SONES, SHOWS «IM» OF WANÚN6 * SToP UxCLE tttlM BEGINS Wt VERY HOT, AND FOR TE HOUSE To STARTS UNCLE GEOROE,WHO PRIDES HIMSELF ON HiS WAY WITH CIILDREN, COMES out to UNCIE GEORGE DERIS HIM BY TROVANO SONES INTO THE LAKE to WE CAN SEE THE SPLASH QEER Wir UP UNCLE GEOREE MOYERS HIS ARM IS 6ETK6 1 RED AMP sn% DOWN _ ONCLE 6E0R6E MUTERS WEN JsT A FEW MORE AND *6« DowIN to WORK A6NIN UNais 6 ‘sisils, Ä« UP AND THROWS SOME MORE S(0NES X OS UMLE GEORGE LEAVES EIAUSIED. 60FS ON CRM opiEiLY, wiuch IS WHAT HE WAKED To Do ANYWAY
