THURSDAY, AUGUST 6. 1936
THE HERMISTON HERALD, HERMISTON, OREGON.
PAGE SEVEN
UK
WORLD’S BEST COMICS
SCÜ
ns about
The Fair Sex
Lighter Side of Life as Depicted by Famous Cartoonists and Humorists
ohemian
grove ,
Up here in the Bo
hemian club’s grove where, dur
ing the summer encampment, no THE FEATHERHEADS
women are allowed either at large
CANT You Do
SOMETHING
or on the leash, I’ve been thinking
ABOUT THAT PORCH
1 ALL RIGHT-
SWING 2 IT CERTAINLY
about their little peculiarities.
ILL TAKE A
B CALIF,—
If two women were cast away on
a desert island with just each other
for company, and
after, let’s say, ten
or fifteen years, the
rescue steamer ar
rived, they’d both
be half way up the
gangplank
before
either remembered
the really impor
tant things she’d
been intending all
along to say to her
companion; and no
Irvin S. Cobb matter if the tide
were falling and the wind rising,
they’d stop right there in their
tracks and thresh it all out.
If you doubt this, see what hap
pens when a pair of them are
swapping good-bys, after an all
day conversation, on finishing a
long chatty motor trip together. If
they can find a narrow doorway
where they’ll block traffic, that’s
where they’ll halt, always.
It’s a curious sex, any way you
take it. But we men keep on taking
it and liking it. I don’t know wheth
er we’re dumb—or numb. Must
be one or the other.
CREAKS
y's QuAY
To Be STRUM
-ED ON
V
JOUR ZITHER-
TERRIBLY —
WHAT KINP.
TENSION —
SHOULD N T
LOOK AT
OF NOISE
ANNOYS AN
O/STER
2
WH/-A Noisy
NOISE
ANNOYS. AN
—( aistii^
By C. M. PAYNE
POP—Ho, Kids! Here’s Something to Do About Dirty Faces!
■
o
Chip Off the Old Block.
CELEBRATING his fifth birthday
— the other day, my small grand-
son and namesake met another
gentleman of like age who bragged
that his nurse brought him to the
party in a car.
“Can your mama drive a car?”
inquired the guest.
“No,” answered my descendant,
“but I’m going to teach her. All
you do is start off and keep going
till you have to stop, and then you
say, ‘Damn those red lights.’ ”
It would appear that Cobby has
been listening to his grandfather.
MESCAL IKE
Swing Your Partner
By S. L. HUNTLEY
′ I WISHT I HADDA
NICKEL FER EVER
GAL Ive KISSED!
7 DONT TOO
$ I UNDERSTAND
HE'S THE KIND
(
OF MAN WHO
4 TIME TH MAN
ALWAS BRINGS ) WHAT OWNED
T. BACON /
HONE THE
/
CAUGHT
)
JUST Love THE
SOUND OF A .
XSAXOPHONE
' DD OU '
KNOW THE
PERSIANS
1 HEAR SHE "KEPT THE PRESENTS). ]
SAE HER eov THAT CAME— “12
FRIEND TE.e
BACON
EE:
PLAERS
HEAD .
Praising King Edward.
F HE was a Communist, of a
breed who are usually half-
baked mentalities, it was only to
be expected that his effort to mur
der King Edward should be—thank
heavens—a fizzle.
If he was a lunatic, then he’s the
kind of lunatic who should spend
the rest of his days behind high
walls. If he was a deliberate as
sassin—well, at least he gave a
gallant monarch a chance to show
how gallantly monarchs can be
have in the face of danger.
Any man, given the royal back
ground and an open path to the
throne, can be a king, but not ev
ery king is a man. This king is—
he proved it and this part of the
world rejoices at the outcome.
• • •
Secret Stuff
HouRE NOT
IN UNIFORM-
HAVEN’T You
REPORTED
.
SHURE Ol *
HAVE — A
H our AGO
OuR regular
ASSIGNMENT
" TONIGHT Z
[7
km
- I GET IT.
==s
SOU WE ON A
SPECIAL. DETAIL /
|N PLAIN CLOTHES.
NO— NOT
TONIGHT
WHO
TOLD
OHCoLOSIFEP
V rgucy
WAN WAY
‘KAPE
UNDER
The Troubles of Europe.
have our own trou
W E bles, MAY including
so many
mounting taxes over the land and
so much mountain music over the
radio, but what with Spain rent
by internal war, and France hav
ing strikes which almost approxi
mate war, and Poland threaten
ing revolt against Nazi control of
what, laughably, is called the
“Free” City of Danzig, and the
rest of them pretty generally stew
ing in their respective political cas
seroles, we’re lucky.
In fact I can think of but one
thing the European nations have
which we could use, but, alas, will
never get, needless to say. I refer
to the money they owe us.
ADAMSON’S ADVENTURES
By O. JACOBSSON
Button, Button
How the League Performs
NDER the rattle of the machine
guns and the shrieks of the
victims as civil war flames across
Spain, that faint creeping sound
which you hear, sounding some
thing like a mouse in the wainscot
ing, is the League of Nations tak
ing its customary prompt steps to
enforce peace upon this and all
other distracted countries whatso
ever.
By the way, does anyone remem
ber when, once upon a bygone
time, there was a war to end the
persistent disease called war, a
final war which forevermore would
restore true democratic principles
and motherly love to rival nations
and embittered peoples? To date
the result makes one almost de
spair of ever finding a cure for
my dandruff.
U
IRVIN S. COBB.
Copyright.—WNU Service.
Pandas Live in Trees
The panda, not to be confused
with the giant panda, is a scientific
puzzle. In some ways he looks
and acts as if he might be a rela
tive of the raccoon. In other ways
he seems to be kinfolk to bears.
Scientists never have been able to
decide this question, so they gave
him a family name of his own,
Aelurus fulgens. In their native
Nepal, pandas live in holes in trees
and sometimes hide among the
rocks. They are nocturnal crea
tures, and it is customary for them
to have twins. Their cry is a sud
den squawl.
=====
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-ereusas
anssHRrJ
nsussnurg
»lasiitw« ■
mu=nun=ea=
i(© 1936. by Consolidated News Features)’
His Problem
Peeve
Into the night court they marched
a man who had all the earmarks of
a professional tough guy. This chap
was as desperate looking as any go-
rilla you’ve ever seen.
The magistrate looked down at
the surly prisoner.
“Well,” asked His Honor, “guilty
or not guilty?”
The prisoner scowled.
“Figure it out yourself,” he
snarled. "That’s what yer gettin’
paid for!"—Mark Hellinger in New
York American.
Not Needed
“In this scene, Miss Trimm, the
young man rushes into the room,
grabs you, binds you with rope
from head to foot, and then smoth
ers you with kisses,” explained the
film director.
“Is the young man tall, fair,
and handsome?” the actress asked.
“Yes. Why?" he asked.
“Then he won’t need an rope,"
she replied.—Stray Stories Maga
zine.
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
DIVERSION
IS WAVINO A NICE CRY OUT ON
THE 6RA55, NoY BECAUSE ANY-
JN6‘s THE MATER BUT JU51
BECAUSE WE WANT 10
ONGiE GEoRGE, MANO THROWN
A EREA MANY SONES, SHOWS
«IM» OF WANÚN6 * SToP
UxCLE
tttlM
BEGINS
Wt VERY HOT, AND
FOR TE HOUSE
To
STARTS
UNCLE GEOROE,WHO PRIDES
HIMSELF ON HiS WAY WITH
CIILDREN, COMES out to
UNCIE GEORGE DERIS HIM
BY TROVANO SONES INTO THE
LAKE to WE CAN SEE THE SPLASH
QEER Wir UP
UNCLE GEOREE MOYERS HIS
ARM IS 6ETK6 1 RED AMP
sn% DOWN
_
ONCLE 6E0R6E MUTERS WEN
JsT A FEW MORE AND *6«
DowIN to WORK A6NIN
UNais 6
‘sisils,
Ä«
UP AND THROWS SOME MORE
S(0NES
X OS UMLE GEORGE LEAVES
EIAUSIED. 60FS ON CRM
opiEiLY, wiuch IS WHAT HE
WAKED To Do ANYWAY