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About Gresham outlook. (Gresham, Multnomah County, Or.) 1911-1991 | View Entire Issue (June 12, 1914)
HOME AND FA RM M AGAZINE SE C T IO N 12 HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL. By George B u t McCutcheon SYNOPSIS OF PREVIOU8 INSTALLM ENTS. I a th e opening in stallm en ts of “ A Fool and Ilia M o n ey ,” Geo. B arr M cC utcheon’s ch arm ing novel, serial rig h ts fo r w hich have been specially o b tain ed for the Home anil f a r m M agazine Section, we learn o f Jo h n B el lam y S m art, the youug m an who is tellin g th e story. He has ju s t ♦ w ritten his first novel, and a t ♦ th e same tim e has fallen h eir to ♦ an immense fo rtu n e le ft him by his uncle. H e is 35 y ears o f age. A fte r a v isit to London, S m art ♦ tak es a trip on th e liiv e r D an «> ube. A fte r fin d in g an old world tow n, he discovers an ancient «- castle, which he purchases from « its ow ner, th e Count. W ith his ♦ secretary , Poopendyko, he tak es * possession o f the im mense s tru c tu re, which is supposed to be ten an ted only by the care ta k e r and his fam ily, the Bchmicks. To S m a r t’s am azem ent, th e firs t <• nig h t, he hears the cry of a baby. «> Looking out a t a balcony one <• n ig h t S m art sees th e w hite fig u re ♦ o f a woman silhouetted. He im m ediately begins a h u n t fo r c. Schm ick, th e caretak er, to solve th e m ystery of who tho woman - may be. W’ith th e Schrnicks he endeavor s to b reak down a heavily barred door into th a t aec- tion o f th e castle, b u t fails. The tion of th e castle, b u t fails. S m art learns th a t souvenir h u n <s> ters from New York are d e ♦ m anding to buy th e castle h eir ♦ looms. S m art ’• v isito rs dem and >• to buy the curiosities o f th e can tie although he assures them ♦ tim e and tim e again th ey are not «• on sale. They th in k lie is hold <tr ing out fo r a higher price. The « Btory continues. I- /A on th is ta b le ,” said Mr. Riley- W erkbeiiner. He addressed him self to a plum p young lady w ith a disto rted bust and a tw enty tw o inch w aist. “ Maude, w h at do you know about the Roman-Teuton*« tr e a ty ? W e'll catch you now, my ” he went on, tu rn in g to me. “ My d au g h ter is up in an cie n t his to ry . S h e ’s an a u th o rity .” Miss M aude appeared to lie racking h er brain. 1 undertook to assist her, ” 1 mean the second tre a ty , a fte r the fa ll o f N u rem b u rg ,” 1 explained. ‘ ‘Oh, ” she said, in stan ly relieved. “ W as it really signed here, right here in tl. h a llf Ob, fath er! We must have th a t ta b le .’’ u are sure th ere was a tre a ty , M au d e* '* dem anded her p aren t ac eusingly. “ C e rta in ly ,” she cried. “ The Teu to n s ceded Alsace L irra m e to— ” “ Pardon me once m ore,” I cried, and th is tim e 1 plead guilty to a blush, “ you are th in k in g of the o th er tr e a ty — th e one a t Metz, Miss Kiley W erkheiiu er. This, as you will recall, an te d ates th a t one by -oh, several y e a rs .” “ T hank y o u ,” she said, quiet con deerendingly. “ I was confused for a moment. O f course, fa th e r, 1 c a n 't say th a t it was signed here or on th is tab le *< th e young man sa y a 1 only know th a t there was a tre a ty . 1 do wish y o u 'd come and see the fire screen I 'v e fo u n d — ” “ b e t ’s get th is ont of our system f i r s t , ” said her fa th e r “ If you can •how me sta tistic s and th e proper proof th a t th is is the genuine tab le, young Bern. 1 'll— ” “ l*ray rest easy, s i r ,” I said. “ We •a n tak e it up la te r on. The facts a re — ’ ’ “ And th is P o n tiu s P ila te s e a t,” in te rru p ’ . t Rocksw orth, lu tin g o ff tha and o f a fresh cigar. " W h a t about it* (lo t a m a tc h * '’ “ G at the gentlem an a m atch, B n t t o n , " I said, th ereb y giving my valet •n oppo rtu n ity to do bi* exploding in th a pan try . “ I can only a ffirm , sir, th a t it is co nun on h istory th a t l'o u tiu s (M ata s^suit a portion of hut axils hero A Fool and His Money Copyright, 1913, B y Geo. Barr MeCutehaoa. in th e six th century. I t is reasonable as glass. See w hat I did to ’em. Wo door opening into th e o u ter vestibule, to assume th a t be sa t in th is seat, be can h av a ’em spliced and rew ound and 1 drew back my foot fo r a fin al aid to ing an old man unused to d iffic u lt I 'l l h an g ’em on my wall. All I w ant locomotion. A cutely recalling th e fa c t stairw ay s. H e— ” is th e heads, an y h o w .” th a t slippers are not designed fo r k ic k He held up to view a headless m id ing purposes, I raised my foot, rem oved “ Buy it, O rson,” said his w ife, w ith au th o rity . “ W e ’ll ta k e a chance on iron and brassie, and triu m p h an tly the slipper and laid it upon a ta u t it. I f it is n ’t th e rig h t thin g , we can w aved a splendid cleek. M y fav o rite se tiou of his trousers w ith all of the sell it to th e second hand dealers. clubs! I could play b e tte r from a hang n elancholy force th a t I usually e x e rt ing lie w ith th a t b eau tifu l brassie th an in slicing my drive o ff th e tee. I shall W h a t's the p rice* ” “ A thousand dollars to you, m ad am ,” w ith any club I ever owned and as for n ever fo rg et th e exquisite spasm of th e iron, I w as deadly w ith it. pleasure his p la in tiv e “ O u ch !” gave said I. He lit a cig a re tte and threw the me. T hey w ere a t once suspicious. W hile Then H arold passed sw iftly out of th ey were busily engaged in looking m atch in to a pile of shavings. Old th e seat over as the p o rters sh ifte d it C onrad retu rn ed to life a t th a t in sta n t my life. Mr. R ocksw orth, reinforced by fo u r about at all angles, I stepped over and a rd stam ped out the incipient blaze. “ I sh o u ld n ’t consider them very good relu ctan t m ercenaries in the “hape of ordered my w orkm en to resume th e ir o|ierations. was b eginning to get clubs. H arold, if th ey break o ff like porters, w as ai vaneing upon me. Some how I had a vague, but u n errin g in sour and an g ry again, h av in g missed th a t ,” said his m other. “ W hat do you know about clu b s?” stin c t th a t some one had fain ted , but my coffee. Prom th e cu lin ary regions th ere ascended a most ho rrific odor he snapped, and I a t once knew w hat I d id n 't stop to inqure. W ithout much of fried onions. I f th ere is one th in g class he was in a t the p rep arato ry ado, I w-iested th e cane from him and school. sent it scu ttlin g a f te r H arold. 1 really resent it is a fried onion. I f 1 w as ever like one of these, said “ Now, net o u t! ” I roared. I do not know w hy I should have felt “ You shall pay fo r th i s ! ” he sp u t th e way I did ab o u t it on th is occa I to m yself, God rest th e sage soul tered, q u ite black in the face. “ G rab sion, b u t I am m ean enough now to o f my U ncle R ilas! The situ atio n w as no longer humor him, you in fern al co w a id s!” confess h at I hailed th e triu m p h al en B ut the four porters slunk aw ay, and try o f th a t pernicious odor w ith a mean ous. I could put up w ith an y th in g but ucss of sp irit th a t leaves nothing to be th e m ishandling of my devoted golf Mr. R ocksw orth faced me alone. R u clubs. dolph and Max, thoroughly fed and explained. S trid in g up to him , I snatched the most prodigious, w ere b earin g down “ Good g ra c io u s!” gasped th e aris rem n an ts from his hands. upon us, accounting fo r the flig h t of tu cratic Mrs. B iley-W erkheim er, hold “ You in fe rn a l c o b !” I roared. the m ercenaries. ing her nose. “ Do you smell t h a t ? ” “ G et o u t! ” I repeated, “ I am th e “ Onions! My G a w d !” m iffe d “ H a v e n ’t yon an y m ore sense th a n to smash a golf club like th a t? F o r two ow ner of th is place, M r. R ocksw orth, Maude. “ How I hate ’e m !” cen ts I ’d break thia p u tte r over your and I am mad through and through. Mr. R ocksw orth foigot his dig n ity . h ead .” S k ip !” “ H ate ’e m ? ’ ’ he cried, his eyes roll “ F a th e r ! ” he yelled in d ignantly. “ I ’ll have th e law — ” ng. “ I ju s t love ’e m !” “ Who is th is m u ck er?” “ L aw be h a n g e d !” “ O rso n !” said his wife, tra n sfiv in g M r. R ocksw orth bounced tow ards “ I f it costs me a m illion, I ’ll g et— ” him w ith a glare. “ W hat will people me. his cane raised. I w hirled upon “ I t w ill cost you a m illion if you th in k of you* ” him. d o n ’t g e t ! ” 1 advised him, seeing th a t I like 'ent to o ,” ad m itted Mr. “ How d are y o u !” he shouted. The Le paused fo r w ant o f breath. R iley-W crkheim er, p erceiving at once ladies squealed. 1 le ft him stan d in g there, but had whom she m ean t b y “ p eo p le.” He I f he expected me to cringe, he w as the presence of m ind to w ave my huge pu ffed out his chest. m ig h tily m istaken. M y blood w as up. henchm en aw ay. Mr. R iley W erk- A t th a t in s ta n t th e carpenters, I advanced. heim er approached, b u t very p acifical plum bers and stone m asons resumed “ P aste mm, D a d !” roared H arold. ly. He was p aler th a n he will ever be th e ir in fern al rack et, w hile scru b B ut Mr. R ocksw orth su d d e n ly 'a lte re d again in his life, I fear. women, polishers and p a in te rs begau to his course sn d p u t th e historic tre a ty (C ontinued N ex t W eek.) move in tim ately am ong us. ta b le betw een him and me. He d id n ’t “ H e re !” roared Mr. Rocksw orth. stop th is b eastly noise! W hat the like th e appearance o f my ra th e r large A horse show and a horse p .r a d e w ill be fist. attendant attractions. deuce do you m ean, sir, p erm ittin g these “ You big s t i f f ! ” shouted H arold. E ditor L ew A. f a t e s of the Polk County, scoundrels to raise th e dead like th is? Confound ’em, I stopped them once. A fterw ard s it occurred to me th a t this Oregon, Observer sign alizes his assum ption of tho editorial function in D allas. Oregon, in elegant appellation may have been H ere! You! Ie>t up on th a t, will y o u ? ” m eant for his fa th e r, b u t a t the tim e 1 by presenting hia paper under a new and I moved forw ard apologetically. “ I vastly mure a rtistic heading. took it to be aim ed a t me. am a fra id i t is not onions you smell, L afayette, Oregon. V isito r : A little d au gh B efore H arold quite knew w hat was ter of the editor w rites from A lberta: “ My ladies and g en tlem en .” I had taken and brother have paid one-half cent my cue w ith su rprising quickness. happening to him, he w as prancing hnbby apiece for some a lfalfa seed. T hey are to “ T hey are raisin g the dead. The place down th e long hall w ith my bony fin be planted ten feet a p a rt.” Now w hat do gers g rasping his collar. Coming to the you know about that ! is fairly alive w ith dead ra ts an d — ” “ Good L o rd *” gasped Riley W o rk heirner. “ W e ’ll g e t th e bubonic plague hi re. ’ ’ “ Oh, I know o n io n s,” said Rocks w orth calm ly. “ C a n 't fool me on onions. T hey arc onions, a i n ’t they, C a rrie ? ” “ They a r e ! ” said she. “ W hat a p ity to have th is w onderful old castle I * !’■ Pains caused by Rheumatism in actu a lly d e v a sta te d by w orkm eu! I t is 3 1,8 'a rio u s f o r m s . Neuralgia an outrage— a crime. 1 should th in k and Muscular Pains, Sprains or th e ow ner would tu rn over in his any skin inflammation or irritation, tan be relieved by grave. ” U nhappily, I am the o w n er,” ] Sulphurro, BECAUSE— m ad am ,’’ raid I, slyly w orking my foot back in to an elusive slip e-r. SULPHURRO is an antiseptic and germicide for “ Yon ou^hi. to be asham ed o f your internal ami external use. Taken internally it enters s e lf,” he said, eyeing me coldly w ith the blood, cleansing it of the impurities, ‘‘uric acid” a h ith erto unexposed lorgnon. and germs which cause the pain. Sulphurro Baths re “ I a m ,” said I. “ You q u ite took lieve pain anti inflammation because the pores absorb me b y surprise. I should have made this healing and beneficial antiseptic ami germicide. m yself more presen tab le if I bad I know n— ” SULPHURRO insures pure blood and a healthy “ Well, l e t ’s move on u p s ta irs ,’’ s a id . skin and pure blood is the first essential to health—and Rocksw orth. A ddressing th e porters, he | relief from aches and pains. said: “ You fellow s get th is lo t of s tu ff to g eth er and IT tak e an option on it. I ’ll be over tom orrow to close the deal. Mr. Mr.— Now, w here is the old F lo ren tin e m irro r the Count was “ I am pleased to tell yo . I have derived g reat bene C itin g ii* a b o u t? ” f it from the use o f Sulphurro. I have been a g reat suf “ The C o u n t? ” said I, frow ning. fe re r from chest and internal pains and by ta k in g sul ’ ‘ Yes, th e real owner. You c a n 't phurro found re lie f .” s tu ff me w ith y o u r ta lk about being 8. G UILD FORD, the p ro p rieto r here, my friend. You I 199 ('e m wall Road, N o ttin g Hill, London, England. see, we happen to know th e C o u n t.” ■ They all condescended to laugh at tne. I d o n 't know w hat I should have said or done if B ritto r had not r e INFLAMMATION YIELDS TO tu rn ed w ith a box of m atches at th a t in s ta n t—sulphur m atches w hich added subtly to th e grow ing illusion. Almost sim ultaneously th ere appeared in th e lower ball a lanky youth o f eigh FOR KAIÆ BY ALL DRUGGISTS teei . He was a loud voiced, im perious sort of chap w ith at least th ree rolls to hi* trouser* an d a plum colored cap. “ Say, th ese clubs a re th e real stu ff, • i rig h t, ail rig h t. T h e y ’re as b rittle Relieve Pain and Remove llP 1 SULPHURR O
