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About The gazette-times. (Heppner, Or.) 1912-1925 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 5, 1914)
15 HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION SERIAL. A Fool and His Money By Geo. Birr McCutcheon Copyright, 1913, By Geo. Ban McCutcheon. HOME AND FARM MAGAZINE SECTION story. - SYNOPSIS OF PREVIOUS XNSTALLME2TT8. ?T. k..0.'."' J?!11??114?- ' "A .'01J " W" Money," Geo. Barr McOutcbeou's charming novel, we learn f John Bellamy Smart, the young man who is telling thii discover , ancient rH u-hifh t , ilir k i i M fallen helr 10 lma,ense M left him by hi uncle. Smart takes a trip on the River Danube. He taker and kU Z c i "i V, T '"""." Austrian count, with his eocretary, 1'oopendyke, He takea possession. It is supposed to bo tenanted only by the care- toleave '?.. ..In't. , m" bmr.' Jl '" ia in possession of a wing of the castle that is barred to him. She grant, a brief interview, but refuse. iromm'iimMJl,:', ' "d Smart U in Later be meets her and ii captivated by her wit and beauty. Ho finds that she is divorced . ... ....... .. ., wu HIVUrUHU inn Rtn V M thO laflV llllt Th. fV,,m, rf.i..i a m. ,nn in Fin twill h,a riwh lnu-i,an fufhw.mJo m Kan WOOM eivo it . Th. .hi)... 11.. -kilJ ..i-.T"r.-rr. " . u ' .. V" " I .imn urerreu althoun-h ik. . ii. j ii,7j.... i . I 1 iecis tne castle as a Aiding place. Kmart fears trouble with the authorities, but docidcB to assist the" fair divorcee, bawl come. I ,h fwi.L bM ""'S'" mkM " keP ' the presence of the Countess in the castle. One guest, familiar with the castle, ; lS ; f' Rmt i. "W",reV T,e WM'"m P but slams a door behind her. The visitor suspects Smart of an intrigue with the wife of hi. ttl tulj leaves and Smart is relieved. The Count turns up again and asks for loan of money, but is refused. (T or ten years! Beside, the whole SN'T she worth waiting a year for squabble will some to an end the mul ct old maa Titus puts up the back million. Awl the minute the Countess goes to him and says she's willing foT him to pay it, you take my word for it, he'll settle like Hub. It rests with her." "I don't quite get your meaning." "She isn't going to let a stingy little million stand between her and happiness." "Confound you, do you mean to ay she'd ak her father to pay over that million in order to be free to marry " I did not con descend to finish, the sentence. "Why not!" he demanded after a mo ment. "He owes K, doesn't he!" I gasped. "But you wouldn't have kirn pay over a million to that damned brute of Count!" lie grinned. "You've changed your song, tny friend. A few weeks ago you were say ing hs ought to pay it, that it would serve him right, sad ' ' "Did I say that!" 'You did. You even said it to the Countess." "But not with the view to making it possible for her to harry off and merry again. Please understand that, i'red." "He ought to pay what he -owes. He gave a million to get one husband for hor. Ha ought to give a million to be rid of him, o that she could marry the nest one with out putting him to any expense whatsoever. It's only fair to her, I say. And now I'll toll you something else: The Countess, who has stood out stubbornly against the pay sent of this money, ia now halfway inclined to advise the eld gentleman to settle with Tansowsy." "She is!" I cried in astonishment. "How do you know!" "I told her I thought it was the cheapest and quickest way out of it, and she said: l wonder!' " "Have you been discsssing her most sacred affairs with her, you blithering " "Bo, air," said he, with dignity. "She has he en discussing them -with sit" I have bo recollection f what I said as I stalked out of the room. Hs called out after me, somewhat pleadingly, I thought: "Ask Britton what he has to ssy about it" Things had eoaae to a pretty pass Could not a gentleman be polite and agreeable to a young and charming lady whom eircum stances had thrown in his way without hav ing his motives misconstrued by a lot of snooping, idiotic menials whose only test in life sprung from a temperamental tendency to belittle the big things an dcnlarge upon the small ones! What rotl What utter rot! Ask Britton 1 The moro I though of Poopen dyke's injunction the more furious I grew. What insufferable insolence I Ask Britton I The ideal Ask my valet I Ask him what! Ask him politely If he could oblige me by tolling me whether I was in leva. 1 suppose that is what Poopendyke meant. It was the silliest idea in the world. In 0ie first place I was not in love, and in the second place whose business was it but mine if I were! Certainly not Poopendyke 's and certainly not Ilritton's, certainly not the Schmicks' I Absolute lack of any sense f proportion, that's what ailed the whole sally of them. What looked like love to them benighted dolts! was no moro than a rather resolute effort on my part to be kind to and patient with & person who had in vaded my home and set everybody includ ing myself by the ears. But, even so, what right had my secre tary to constitute himself adviser and men tor to the charming invader! What right had he to suggest what sho should do, or what her father should do, or what any body should do! Ho was getting to be dis gustingly officious. What he needed was a smart jacking up, a little plain talk from me. Give a privileged and admittedly faith ful secretary an inch and he'll have you up to your ears in trouhlo before you know what has happened. By the same token, what right had she to engage herself ia con fidential chats with But just then I caught sight of Britton coming upstairs witii my neatly polished tsu shoes la one head and pair of number 8 A tan pumps in the other. Kot expecting to meet mo in the hall, he had neglected to remove his cap when ho came in from the court yard. In some confusion, he tried to take it off, first with one hand, then with the other, sustaining what oue might designato as ab sent treatment kicks on either jaw from two distinct sexes in the shape of shoes. He managod to get all four of the minto one hand, however, and then grobbed off his cap. "Anything more, sir!" he asked, purely from habit, I was regarding the shoes with interest. Never have I know anything so ludicrous as tho contrast between my stupendous num ber tens and the dainty pumps that seemed almost babyish beside them. Then I did tho very thing I had excori ated Poopcmlyke for even suggesting. I jsked Brittoul "Britton, what's all this gossip I hear going the rounds of the castle behind mi back!" Confound him, he looked pleased! "Tt't quite true, sir, quite true." "Quite true I" I roared. "What's quite true, sir!" "iBn't it, sir!" he asked, dismayed. "Isn't what!" ' "I mean to say, sir, isn't it true!" "My Jod!" I cried, throwing up my hands in hopeless despair. "You you wait I I m going to get to the bottom of this. I want the truth, Britton. Who put it into mat confounded head of yours that I am er in love with the Countess! Speak! Who did it!" He lowered his voice, presumably because I naa dropped mino to a very loud whie per. I also had glanced over both about dors. "Begging your pardon, sir, but I must hi honest, sir. It was you as first put it into my eau, err. "II" My face went the color of a eardi nal's cap. "You, sir. It's as plain as the nose on your" "That will do, Britton," I commanded Me remained discreetly silent. "That will do, I say," I repeated, somewhat testily "D you hear, air!" "Yes, sir," ho responded. "That will do, you says." "Ahem! I ahem!" Somewhat clumsily I put on my noaeglaases and made a pre text of examining his burden rather close ly. "What's this you have here!" "Shoes, sir." "I see, I see. Let me have them." He handed me my own. "The others, if you please,1 I eaid, disdaining the number tens. Aiay I inquire, sir, where you are taking these f" I had the Countess' pum;i m my nanos. Me explained that he was go ing to drop mine in my room and then take hers upstairs. "Yoa may drop mine as yoc intended. I shall take care of these," "Very good, sir," said he, with such positive relief in his voice that I glared at him. He left me standing there, a small pomp in each hand. Five minutes later I was at her door, a pump m each hand and my heart in bit month. A sodden, inexplicable form of jfanic tock possession of me. I stood there ready to tap resoundingly on tho panel of the door with the heel of a slipper; I nevr raised my hand for the purpose. Instead of carrying out my oiiginal de sign, I developed an overpowering desire to do nothing of the sort. Why go on making a fool of myself! Why add fuel to the al ready pernicious flaaief Ot course I was not in love with her, the idea was prepos terous. But, just tho same, the confounded eerrants were beginning to gossip, and bock tair scandal is the very worst type. It was wrong for me to encourage it. Like a ninny, I had just given Britton something to support his contention, and he wouldn't be long in getting down to the servants" hall with the latest exhibit ia the charge; against me. Moreover, if every one was talking about1 it, what was to prevent tho silly gossip from reaching the sensitive oars of the Countess! A sickening thought struck me: Could it be possible that the Countess herself suspected me of being in love with berf A woman's nity goes long way sometimes. The thought did not lessen the panic that afflict ed me. I tip-toed away from the door to a less exposed spot at the bend in the stair way. There, after some deliberation, I came to a decision. Tho proper thing for me to do was to show all of them that thoir ridiculous suspicions were wrong. I owed it to the Countess, to say the least. She was my guest, as it were, and it was my duty to' protect her while she was in my house. The! only thing for nn to do, therefore, was to; stay away from her. The thought of it distressed me, but it' seemed to be tho Only way, and the fair one. No doubt she would expect sonic sort of an explanation for the sudden iudiffereuce on -my part, but I could attribute everything ' to an overpowering desire to work on. my story, (I have a habit of using my work: as an excuse for not doing a great many ' things that I ought to do.) ; All this time I was regarding the small ton pumps with something akino to poin In my eyes. I could not help thinking about the tiny feet they sometimes covered. By some sort of intuitive computation I arrived at the conclusion that they were ailorobly small, and pink, and warm. Suddenly it occurred to me that my present conduct was reprehensible, that no man of honor would be holding a lady's pumps in his hands and' allowing his imagination to go too far. Ileso-' lutcly I put them behind my back and marched downstairs. "Britton," said I, a few minutes later, "you may take these up to the Countess after all." He hliaked his eyes. "Wasn't she at 'ome, sir!" "Don't be insolent, Britton. Do as 1 tell you." "Very good, sir." He held the pumps up to admire them. "They're very cute, ain't they, sir!" "They are just like all pumps," said I indifferently, and walked away. If I could have been quite sure that it was a chuckle I heard, I should havo given Britton some thing to think about lor the rest of his days. The impertinent rascal! I'or some two long and extremely mo notonous days I toiled. A chapter shaped itself after a fashion. Even as I wrote, 1 knew that it wasn't satisfactory and that I should tear it up the instant it was fin ished. What irritated me more than any thing else was the certain conviction that Poopendyke, who typed it as I progressed, also knew that it would go into the waste paper basket. Both nights I went to bed early and to sleep late. I could not deny to myself that I was missing those pleasant hours with the Countess. I did miss them. I missed Rose mary and Jinko and Helen Marie Louise An toinette and Blake. An atmosphere of gloom settled around Poopendyke and Britton. They eyed me with a sort of putboUc wonder in their faces. As time went on they began to look poaitively forlorn and unhappy. Once or twice I caught them whispering in the hallway. On seeing mo they assumed on air of nonchalance that brought a grim smile to my lips. 1 was be ginning to hntc them. Toward the end of the second day, the four Schmicks became so aggravating!- doleful that I ordered them, ono ond all, to keep out of my. sight. Even the emotionless llawkes and the perfect Blstchford were infected. I don't believe I've ever seen a- human face as solemnly respectful ae Hswkes' was that night n't dinner. Ho seemed to be pitying mo from the bottom of his heart. It was getting on my nervctf. I took a stroll in the court yard after din ner, ond I may be forgiven I hope for the few surreptitious glances I sent upwards in the direction of the rear windows in the eastern wing. I ' wondered what she was doing, and what she was thinking of my ex- i traordiuary behavior, and why the deuce she hadn't eetit down to ask ine to come up ond tell her how busy I was. She had not made a single, sign. The omission was not par ticularly gratifying, to say the least. Approaching the scrvonts' hall, I loitered, t heard 'voices,' a mixture of tongues. Brit ton appeared to ho doing the most of the talking. Gradually I became aware of the lact mat lie was explaining to the four Schmicks the meaning of sn expression in which must have been incorporated the worus "tnnied him down." Hswkea' the impeccable Hawkos, joined in. "If I know anything about it, I'd aay sho has threw the 'ooks into 'im." Then they had to explain that to Con rad and Crete!, who repeated "Ach Gott" and oilier simpk expletivoe in aach a state of misery that 1 could almost detect tears, in their voices. "It ain't that, Mr. 'Awkes," protested Britton loyally. "Ho's lost his nerve, that's wot it is. They alius do when they realizo had they're hit. Turn im down! Kot. mueli, Mr. 'Awkes. Take it from me, Mr. 'Awkes, he's not going to give 'er the chownco to turn 'im down." "Ach, Gott ! ' ' said Gretel. I will stake my head that she wrung her hands. "Women is funny," said Hawkea. (I hac" no idea tho wretch was so ungrammatical.) "You can't put your finger on 'em ever. While I 'aven't seen much of tho Countess during my present engagement, I will say this: She has a lot mere sense than people give' er credit for. Now why should sho throw the 'ooks into a fine, upstanding chap like 'im, even if be is an American! She made a roitcn had job the first time, mind you. If she has threw the 'ooks into 'im, as I am af eared, . I can't see whot the deuce nils 'er." My perfect footman, Blatehford, ventured an opinion, and I blessed him for it. "We may he off our nuts on the 'ole blooming business," said he. "Maybe he 'as thrown tho 'ooks into 'er. Who knows! It looks that w'y to me." (I remember distinctly that ho used the word "thrown," and I was holf a mind to rash in and put him over Hawkes, there and then.) "Iu any case," said Britton, gloom in his voice, "it's a most unhsppy state of af fairs. He's getting to be a perfect crank. Complines about everything I do. Ho won't ave is trousers pressed ond he 'asn't been shsved since Monday." I stole away, rage in my soul. Or was it mortification! In any event, I had come to au irrevocable decision: I would shin the whole lot of them, without notice, before another day was gone. The moro I thought of the way I was being treated by my own servants, and the longer I dwelt upon the ignominous figure I muat have prcaeiited as the hero of their back-door romance, the angrier I got. I was an object of concern to them, an object of pity! Confound them, they were feelinir sorry for mo because I had received my conge, and they were actually finding fault with me for not taking it with a grin on my face! Before going to bed I went into the loggia (for the first time in three days) and, keeping myself pretty well hidden behind a projection in the wall, tried to get glimpse of the Countess' windows. Failing there, I turned my steps in another direc tion and soon stood upon my little bal cony. There was no sign of her in the win dows, although a faint light glowed against the curtains of a well-remembered room near the top of the tower. Ah, what a cosy, jolly room! What a de licious dinner I had had there! And what a supper! Somehow, I found myself think ing of those little tan pumps. As a matter of fact, they had been a source of annoyance to me for more than forty-eight hourB. I had found myself thinking of them at most in opportune times, greatly to the detriment of my work as a realist. It was cool on the balcony, and I wu abnormally warm, as might be expected. It occurred to me that 1 might do worse than to sit out there in the cool of the evening and enjoy a cigar or two three or four, if necessary. But, thought I sat there until nearly midnight and chattered my teeth almost out of my head with the cold, she did not appear at her window. The aggravating part of it was that while I was shivering out there in the beastly raw, miasmic air, she doubtless was lying en a luxurious couch before warm fire in a dressing gown and slippers r.h, slippers! reading a novel and think ing of nothing in the world but her own com fort! And those rascally beggars presumed to think that 1 was in love with a selfish, self-centered, spoiled creature like that! Kub bishl I am afraid that Poopendyke found me in a particularly irascible frame of mind the next morning. I know that Britton did. I thought better of my determination to discharge Britton. He was an exceptionally good servant and a loyal fellow, so why should I deprive myself of a treasure simply because the eastern wing of my abode was inhabitated by an unfeeling creature who hadn't a tliought beyond fine feathers and bonbons! I was B3 rharitubly inclined to ward Hawkes and Blatehford, who were in my serve through an influence over which I did not appear to have any control. Thej would havo to go. "Mr. Poopendyke," said I, after Blateh ford had left the breakfast room, "I want you to give notice to Hawkes and Blatehford today." "Notice!" he exclaimed incredulously. "Notice," said I, very distinctly. He looked distressed. ' 'I thought they were most satisfactory to you." "I've changed my opinion." "By Jove, Mr. Smart, I I don't know how the Countess will take such high handed ahem! You see, sir, she she was good enough to recommend them to me. It will '-be quite a shock to " "By the Lord Harry, Pred, am I to "Don't misunderstand me," he msde baste to Bay. "This is your house. You have perfect right to hire and discharge, but but Don't you think wou'd better con sider very carefully " He seemed to be finding his collar rather tight. I held up my hand. "Of course, I do not care to offend the Countess Tamowsy. It was very kind of her to recommend them. We we will let the matter rest for a few days." "She has informed me that you were espe cially pleased with the manner in which they served the dinner tha other night. I think she said you regarded them as incomparable diadems, or something of the sort. It may have been the champagne." My thoughts leaped backward to ttiot won derful dinner. "It wasn't the champagne," said I, very stiffly. "Do you also contemplate giving notice to the chef and his wife, our only chamber maid!" "No, I don't," I snapped. "I think they were in bed." He looked at me as if ha thought I had gone crazy. I wriggled uncomfortably in my chair for a second or two. and then abruptly announced that we'd better cot to work. I havo never ceased to wonder what construc tion he could have put on that stunid slin of the tongue. (To Be Continued.) To clean an oil painting, peel and grate a raw potato and mil it with enough cold water to make a thin paste. Rub the picture with this. using a small sponge, then sponge with clear cold water and dry with a fine cloth. Only a small portion should be done at a time. To clean children's white kid top ped shoes, rub them with a cloth dipped in milk and then lather with a good white soap. Rub in well and set in the air to dry. This softens U well as cleanses the kid.
