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About The Lebanon express. (Lebanon, Linn County, Or.) 1887-1898 | View Entire Issue (Dec. 1, 1893)
THE ROYAL Baking Powder surpasses all others in leavening power, in purity and wholesomeness, and is indispensable for use wherever the best and finest food is required. All other Baking Powders contain s ammonia or alum. ROYAL BAKING POWDER CO., 106 WALL 8T,, NEW-YORK. AA A 444 M A A A 4 A A A A A A 4 A A . If Reviewing- Her Conduct. When a quite youthful and much petted damsel named Ruthgoesawtiy from home without her mother, she is sometimes unmanageable, and al ways on her return is interviewed as to her deportment while absent. On a recent occasion, after a round of 716118 she had made with a certain doting and indulgent relative, Buth was asked the customary question as to whether she had been a good girl. "Well, "she replied deliberately, as if carefully balancing the evidence, "I was pretty good, I think only HicKea at my grandmother twice. Now York Tribune. A Very Old Family. Bannister used to tell a story of his navmg been introduced, with Mrs. Bannister, to an elderly lady of ex ceedingly "high notions." After the presentation had taken place, the lady asked a wit of the day who was present: "Who are the Bannistere! Are they or gooo iamuyr "Yes," said the wit, "they are Closely allied to the Btairs. "Ufl, saia uiay jLucretia, "a very ancient family from Ayrshire, dates back to 1640. I am delighted to see your mends." London Tit-BitB. A Bit of Fine Writing. About 40 years ago a specimen of microscopic penmanship was exhib ited in America. It consisted of the following inscription written upon glass in a circle much smaller than the head of an ordinary pin 1-623 part of an inch in diameter "Low ell and Scuter. Watchmakers, 64 Ex change St., Portland. Written by Fermat at Paris, 1852." Boston Com monwealth, Not Traveling Incognito. "Miss Smiley is going to travel un der an assumed name." "You surprise me I" "Yes, she is going to be married next week and start on her honey moon." Exchange. Work Vor a Painstaking Jeweler. Not very long ago a London news paper announced that a jeweler of Turin had made a tugboat formed of a single pearl. The sail is of beaten gold studded with diamonds, and the binnacle lightat the prow is a perfect ruby. An emerald serves as its rud der, and the stand on which it is mounted is a slab of whitest ivory. The entire weight of this marvelous specimen of the jeweler's craft is less than half an ounce, but the maker values it at f 1,000. - v , forgot Himself. I She My husband is a brute I Friend All men are brutes, my dear. She Mine is simply abominable! I asked him if he did not think you were as pretty as I, and he said, "Yes.'-New York Weekly. A WUe Provision. Mr. Baldie I have discovered that bald ness in a wise provision of nature. Philosopher That's a discovery surely. "Yes. You have noticed doubtless that lam bald as a billiard ball as far down as the rim of my bat, but below that the hair grows as luxuriantly as ever." "Yes, that is usually the case." "Exactly. Well, now comes my discov ery. Barber shops are often drafty, you know." "Very frequently." "Too true. Sure to give folks Influenza, pneumonia and I don't know what all." "Draft are always dangerous." That's it. Well a baldheaded man can have bis hair cut without removing us hat."-New York Weekly. . Mad a Baby of Bor. He Charlie told her be would try and make her happy. He said be would give her a kiss for every tear she shed, r She And is she happy? He Apparently not. She Is weeping continually. New York Herald. . Hard on Boy. - . -Little Boy I guess papa mutt V been -bom growed up. Uncle John Why tot Little Boy He's always wantin me to do tonutlnng sensible. Good News. 1 2 8 Beformlng a Man. I believe that each one of us is con -nected with divinity by a spark of light within. In some it is a mere speck of light; in others it is a steady flame; in others a burning fire, and the physical nature is a mere grate which contains this fire. Perhaps the man within whom the spark is very small and feeble may conceive a mad infatuation for some woman who be lieves Bhe can reform him through this love. But if he is merely infatu ated with a woman in whom the di vine principle is feeble his reforma tion is liable to be on an unstable foundation. The man who has felt the divine within the woman appealing to his better nature, who has felt the holy spark within his soul fanned into a larger flame by her influence, who has felt her spiritual influence above her physical charms, that man may be reformed and stay reformed al though his past may have been worse than that of the prodigal son. And yet I think that the spiritual nature which enabled him t respond to this woman's love could have saved him by its own upreaching force per haps. The woman was merely a mouthpiece for the divine to call to the divinity within him and enable it to gain the ascendency. Ella Wheeler Wilcox in Ladies' Home Journal. The Art of Garnishing. The scientific branch of cookery comprises the devising of dishes and sauces. The artistic branch consti tutes the art of garnishing, and this plays a most important part in the outcome of the kitchen, as by means of it dishes please the eye before they please the palate. First impressions go a great way, and when one sense is captivated by an agreeable and in viting appearance the dish must be bad indeed which fails to stand the more searching ordeal of taste. Be sides, people who suffer from jaded appetites have a better chance of eat ing their dinner when the dishes which are put before them are pleas ant to the sight Art, however, is not a thing to be taught You may show a man how to mix colors, but you cannot teach him how to use them. I will only explain that what in cookery is meant by garnishing is not the tra ditional parsley of the cook. The one and great thing to avoid as much as possible is the using for purposes of garnishing things which are not eatable. Philadelphia Press. Comfort For the Unsueeessfal. If we are money makers, it is to the exclusion of something else ; if we have gentleness and refinement, those qualities unfit us for becoming money makers. The late Daniel Dougherty met at Narragansett Pier a very charming young man one evening, and afterward asked me if he was poor or if he had inherited a fortune. "Why do you not ask me if hehasmadeoner'Irejoined. "Be cause I know he hasn't," replied Mr. Dougherty, who, as every one knows, was a very keen observer of human nature. "He is poor, or, if he is not, his money was inherited," insisted Mr. Dougherty, and when I pressed him for a reason for his assertion he said. "He is too refined, too cul tured, too altogether charming ever to have made by his own exertions a fortune or even a competency beyond a mere living," which was a perfect diagnosis of the young man's position in life. Boston Home Journal A leading Question. Miss Pinkerly Isn't It a pity that all tr good looking people can't be bright, and all the bright people good looking) Young Tutter-Yes, indeed It Is, Miss Pinkerly. But tell me, It you had your choice, which would you bet Life. Too Personal. Mrs. Flockton I wonder Is it truef Peo ple say that you sometimes go to sleep over your sermons. Parson Dulleigh Peoplc.Isuspeet, Judge me by themselves. Boston Transcript. 30 CALLED UNLUCKY DAYS. I "'") Days tu the Year Are Sulil to Blight tile Lives ot Heedless Lovers. There are certain dates upon the calendar w hich cannot be fixed upon for "the happy day," because hoary tradition has decided otherwise, ii the subtle fover of matrimony is working in your brain, consult the following list of unlucky days and be governed accordingly: .Tun. 1, 2, 4, 5, f, 10, 15; Feb. 0, 7, 18; March 1, 6, 8; April 0, H; Mny 5, 0, 7; June 7, U; July S, 19; Aug. 15, 11); Sept. 6, 7-, Oct. 0; Nov. 15, 16, and Dec. 15, 10, 17. These particular days are warranted to blight the lives of the truest lovers ever seen. But they are not the only snares which threaten the matrimonially in clined. Read this little verse: Monday for wealth, Tuesday for health, Wednesday the bast tiny of alii Thursday for crosses, Friday for losses, Baturda)- no luck at all! Hyman has a deep seated grudge against the latter part of the week. No good and sufficient reasons can lie advanced for this partiality, but as marriage is not often an affair of the reason it would lie well perhaps to respect the caprices of its particular deity. Having learned the particular days to be avoided, the feverish lover may think that he can breathe freely. Not yet I The plot still thickens. He has yet to learn that the old Romans started the idea that June was at the top notch as a propitious month for matrimony, and that May was cor respondingly below par. This com plicates matters even more, but the tangle is still further aggravated by the moon, that potent factor in all human affairs. If the individual who is credited with inhabiting the laud of green cheese were a woman, it would help out the theory that a wedding should be celebrated only when the moon is full. That would gratify a woman's proverbial desire to have a good view of such affairs. At any rate such is the superstition that nothing short of the full light of the sanguine moon can dispel the clouds which seem to hang over the voyage of wedded lite. Probably by this time the lover who would a-wooing go is in the depths of despondency, but the end is not yet. Here is another warning which cuts the matrimonial season down to still narrower limits: Marry In Lent, And you'll live to repent No wonder that unhappy marriages are so common and the divorce law yers so sleek and well fed. There seems to be ho forgetnienot crop of days "that grow for happy lovers." But if the lovers are really determined to wed they can probably, out of all these unlucky conditions, sift some day to which no penalty attaches, and having settled that point turn their attention to other utterances of Sibyl line tradition. New York Sun. Perpetual Motion Reward. I am often asked the question, How much money do the different governments of the world offer for the discovery of perpetual motion? To all such I invariably give this an swer: There is no patent law relative to perpetual motion machines. Nei ther is there a fixed sum of money of fered by any government for the in vention of such an unheard of con trivance. As early as 1775 118 years ago the French Academy of Sciences refused to even consider the claims of the so called perpetual motion in ventors. A valuable reference work before me in making mention of those who ore experimenting in that direction says: "They have an idea that some immense govemment re ward has for years been laid aside for the successful inventor. Unhap pily this idea is as fallacious as the grand delusion itself." St Louis Re public. Booth's Loss When Barrett Died. Mr. Barrett's death, for which Mr. Booth was entirely unprepared, was a terrible shock to the survivor and a blow from which he never fully recovered. The gentle spirit of "The Man of Airlie" seemed to haunt in the most pleasant way his old apartments adjdining those of Mr. Booth at The Players, and more than once after Mr. Barrett had passed away, when some heavy truck in. the street had jarred the building and caused the strings of the auto matic harp upon his closed door "to play sweet music," Mr. Booth has turned his sad face toward it and has said with a smile, "There comes poor Lawrence now." Harper's Weekly. Hearing up under It. "So you have failed In business again," said Parson Guileless to Mose Shaumburg, "Yes, for finef ten cent on der tollar." '"It Is hard on you, my friend, but re member whom the Lord loveth be obasten eth." "Ish dot sof I only viflh be vould hurry up and punish me again dot vay." Texas Sittings. Miss Yonngbnd Genruo says he pro posed to some one the other nlKht. Miss Olilhoy Well, 1 wasn't the one. Miss YouiiKbred 1 thought not. Ho said he got jilted. Truth. Uow a Young Doctor Ulagnosed. Young Doctor to Patient Let me look at your tongue, li'm troubled with dys pep Patient Not abit. I can eat sole leather. Young Doctor Let me feci your pulse. H'm wakefulness at night? Patient Sleep like a top. Young Doctor Let oie sec your tongue. H'm dizziness and pains in Patient No. Young Doctor Let me feel your pulse. H'm easily tired, with an indisposition to mental uxertion of any Patient No. Young Doctor Let me see your tongue. H'm headache and stiffness of the Patient Haven't had a headache in 35 years. Young Doctor Let me feel your pulse. H'm you are using too much tobacco. Patient Never touch it in any shaiie. Y'oung Doctor Let me see your pulse er l mean your tongue, ii'ni too much confined to your desk. You need fresh air and Patient I'm a letter carrier. Y'oung Doctor Lot me feel your tongue that is, I should say your pulse. H'm you have a tlml feeling come over Patient Never. Young Doctor Let-me see your never mind, your tongue, feverish at times, with a desire for water. Patient No, beer. Youug Doctor Do you drink beer? Patient Oh, yes. Young Doctor To excess? Patient-No. Young Doctor Tell me how many glasses a day? Patient Sometimes more and sometimes fewer. Young Doctor I thought so. We mem bers of the medical profession are seldom deceived In our diagnosis of a case. Patient Am I in any danger, doctor? Young Doctor No Immediate danger, but It's lucky you called me inl Yankee Blade. No lloulit or it. Queried. I wonder who originated the word "ueupeckeil. WlttlcuH Om't say. The llrst rooster 1 should imagine. Vogue. An Absorbing Occupation. "Your husband doesn't go out nights any morer" "No. I've bought him a meerschaum pine tocotor." Truth. KIDNEY, Bladder, Urinary anil Urer DIhimi, Dropay Gravel and JJiabetet are cured by HUNT'S REMEDY THI BE8T KIDNEY AND LIVER MEDICINE. HUNT'S REMEDY Cures Bright'! Disease, Retention or Non-retention of Urine, rains in the Bsck, Loins or Side. HUNT'S REMEDY Cores Intemperance, Nervonn Dtaeaiei, General Debility, Female Weaknew and JtJtcsiei. HUNT'S REMEDY Cures Biliousness. Headache, Jaundice, Sour Stomach, Dyspepsia, (Jonsllpatlou aud Piles. HUNT'S REMEDY AtJTH T onvK on the Kidneys, Mver and Howell, restoring them to a healthy so tion.and l!l HKK when all other medicines fail. Hundreds have been saved who have beec Siren up to die by Mends and physicians. ftl, II Bit A IX lHIIUlT. OUR BUSINESS IS selling Groceries at wholesale prices direct to the consumer,' All we want to say Is this : If you really want to buy your GROCERIES as they should be bought, send for our price list. Same will be mailed free of charge on application. COOPERS LEVY, Seattle, Wash. DON'T SB FO0MD by the demur who brings out some thing else, that piiys lilm bettor, and says that It Is "Just u good." Dootor Pleroe's Golden Medical Discovery is guar anteed. If It don't benefit or cure, In every case, vou have your money baok. No other medi cine of Its kind Is so certain and effective that It can be sold so. is any other likely to be "Just as good"? As a blood-cleanser, flesh-builder, and strength-restorer, nothing can equal the "Discovery." It's not like the jrtrsiipe rlllas. or ordinary "spring medicines." At all seasons, and In all casus, It puri fies, invigorates, and builds up the whole svstein. For every blood-mint and disorder, from a common blotch or enip tlon, to the worst scrofula, It Is a perfeot, permanent, guaranteed remedy, I &uota,,and 81. 00 per Ilottlo Oaeoeutadoaa, Tiiii Objut ConnH flu hb prumptiytrei where all othera fulL Coua-ha, Croup, lore Throat, Hoarieneei, Whooping Cough and Aat h ma, For Conaumptien It dm do rival; ban cured thousand, end will curb top if sUeniu time, Bold oy Dniegiats on a guar antee. For a Lame Itaott or ChrL una SH1LOH8 BELLADONNA PL AST Kit Ao. CATARRH REMEDY. 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IT IN II I (I II PIKK TKHT. IT lit lit- UN1FOKM QUALITY. We wiKntnlAa n tn k. OBAUS or lUOHIXiTIMI OIU Ask lor It. STANDARD OIL COMPANY. FRAZER AXLE FRANK WOOI.HBT ,Aent, Portland. Or. FREE THE JONES' CASH STORE. .1 uum.i,,, iruniiDu uie urn i ui ARfltl m (tilth It 1st nul-lml 1., IV,n t .1 .11 T"4I HiiVsfna' flmnni la KI l.kH lu. a-.t w im is.iicu iti hid lumr-Bi ui mi coiwumerH, It if I vet Hie lowest oaab quotation ssssiis ill mi: iuven iJiV, n Wi juyg you moimy to coiiNiilt It. Mailed free to iliy adflrou on application. Don't be without it. It oaa u you nothing to pet It. It quote whole Mle price direct to the coiuuKier. Mention thia paper. Addreu JONES' CARH STI-IDF 180 Front Btreet, - Portland, Or. -sr"-i"iiiT imissnfi km m as tJS rHILQH'5l efscs7 iisYujtiuuiuuiiif inis rflmenriBauaran teed tuoure you. I'rice.ouots, Injector free. Widen W Ptao'a E Ja5C UBout by