The Lebanon express., July 06, 1888, Image 1

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VOL. II.
LEBANON, OREGON, FRIDAY, JULY 6, 1888.
NO. 17.
BOCIBTY NOTICES.
LKftANOtt Loral. MO. 4, A. F. A. M : HmU
al thair m hail In Maaonta Mock, ou Saturday
arming, .a of bafttrs Um full moon
J WASSON, W. M.
UBANON I.OTX1R. NO 47, I O, : MorU Bat
nnhy avatitna of aa a-.-, at O.M rVtlos 1111,
Min (treat; OalUiif atsthran tnnlUlla ttvHrt tu
SUaud J. J. tHAKl.roN, n O.
HONOR Lorn) K NO 3. A. O. V W , Lananon.
tlrajr.tn: Marts wry Srat ami tlilnl Tttunnlar tan
tnca in the rounita. r. It. KOKfOti M .
A. R. CYRUS A CO.,
Real Estate, Insurance & Loan
Agent.
Ueaerat (tllfflle nwa Jletary rablle
Baalneea frstntptly AHmdfi to.
M. N. KECK.
DESIGNER AND SCULPTOR.
Manufacturer of
Stennsneat and Ileadstenen.
AND
ALL HlXimor I KHKTKKY WORK
FIXE MONVMKNT8 A BPKOIAI.TY.
Ow Rmt Horn. ALBANY. ORKrtON.
St. Charles Hotel,
LEBANON, Oregon.
K. W. Cam Main and Sherman llnett, two Block
Kaat of R R. Daput.
T. C. FEEBLER CO. Prop.
Table Supplied with the Best the Market
Affords.
Sampla Roams am) tha Fast Aeoonnroaatroas for
OuttiraaraiaJ aira.
-OKSEKAL STAGE OFFICE.-
WINTER
Artistic Photographer,
BROWNSVILLE, OR.
Enlarging from Small Pictures. In
staulaneous Process.
WORK WARRANTED.
G.T.COTTOIM,
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Groceries and Provisions,
TOBACCO & CIGARS,
SMOKERS ARTICLES,
Foreign and Domestic Fruits,
CONFECTIONERY,
(taecaaware an Vliuwarr,
La as pa mm. Laata Fixtures.
Mala t- I.rfcanea. Orriaa.
ST. JOHN'S HOTEL
Sweethome, Oregon.,
JOHN T. DAVIS, Proprietor i
Tha table U supplies' with the very best the
market affords.
Nice clean bed, and satisfaction guaranteed
to all guesta.
In connection with the above house
Keeps aF.el and Sale Stable, and will
accommodate tourists and travelers with
teams, guides and outOta,
BURKHART & BILYEU,
Proprietors of the
livery, Sale anfl Feetl StaiJles
LEBASOS. OR,
Southeast Corner of Main and Sherman.
Fine Buggies. Hacks, Har
ness and
COOD RELIABLE HORSES
For parties going to Brownsville, W
terloo, Sweet Home. Scio, and all
parts of Linn County.
All kinds of Teaming
DONE AT
REASONABLE RATES.
BURKHART & BILTETJ.
A'NE(3R STORY.
Via tMsritrae;lnc Rxperlenee In l.lheria,
tha Color d Man's African Rnpubtte.
Anderson J ohm (eolorod) returned
to this city from Liberia. In Afrloa,
a hi re he wont in the spring of 1885.
lie is now at home In Montgomery,
tnd say he is here to stiiy, lie li
Hopping at his father's, out beyond
Mia Women's Honic, in the eastern
portion of the olty. A reporter went
mt to see him the other day, and from
his own lips heard the story of the
travels an I trials and stay In the
'nd that does not flow with milk and
honey.
I left Montgomery on February 24,
for New York, accompanied by
my wife and two children. We sailed
front New York for Liberia on the last
lay of February. In our party there
vere fifty emigrants, including men.
women and chi dreit. We had' a very
jilfiKant voyage, ami landett at Mon
'vi:i, Liberia, on April 4. We went to
.Iberia under dire.tin of tho Colonl
a:lon Society of Washington. The
ociety (urn s'te.l us, Record ng to
rom 'e. with provisions to last us six
iiouths. After we reached our desti
tution we had our land s trveyed, antl
tt about to build houses and settle.
' a for my part, I so -t found that the
rtluy se-taon was too close at hand,
rui I did not have time to settle
m tha hind set apart for me. 1
then got two acres from another
in:in in the sttleiuent. and
built a little house in which I
lived whi'e there. I planted and raised
a few potatoes, and we ate them and
enjoyed them. The h.mse I built was
ten by lift -en feet. I built it with small
po oh Rnd covered it with bam'too. The
rainy season set In about. May I and
continued until along some time in
November. Sometimes the rainfall
would he steadv for a week or two. and
then It w.m'd idack upan hour or a day
and then commence again. Hut for
i x months we had uo sunshine and dry
weather, and during all that time we
were confined In-doora, and coul 1 not
do any thing in th' wa of out-door
woi k to ca-n a living. In the fall the
rainy spIl ends, aud then there is
not ling b-.it drought and hot sunhina
for six months. We had no winter,
.tnd the only cool we.it her came dur ng
the liny s'ie!l. in what we call the
sumai.'r months here."
There are many th'ngi ' that must
make an American feel very much out
.if place in Africa. Continuing the talo
.f liis b'.tter experience, Anderon said:
In cultivat ng the soil the settlers.
s well as fie natives, have to do all
;hework with hoes. There are no horses
or mules or cattle in that country. In
some of the o?dest s ttlettvnts they have
t few cattle., but they are very sra
nd dwarfish. A full grown cow :n
Afrk-a is no larger than a year-old call
n this eouutrv. In thu settlemen;
win re we livil I never saw but the one
ioor little calf, and not a s'ng'e horse
r mule in tiie country. I was sick
.bout three months, and was greatly
roubled with bloodth r-ty little insect
'inown as jiggers. They are smaller
than a fl.'a an.i far more troublesim .
Vhev atla -k a victim on the feet while
he bleeps an i work their way into the
I -sh. forming b.td sores. I saw many
,i-opie with several of their toes fairly
aten off by the littl- pests. In my sick
ietis I had no medicine and no phys
ian. There was no doctor in tho iet
lem. nt except herb doctors, who make
'. .cir owi ni3:l cine People H that
: iintry can't make money, audit takes
i.i rd d gt'mgt.i make a I ttlc something
to cat. I had a little money when I
went there, but ev ryth ng was so high
hat it was son gone. The ma;i who
s emr'oyed by the Col .ni vat ion
ociety to issue provisions to the set
tier swindled us out of supplies f r
twenty davs, and just at a time when
we needed help most. The peoole over
t iv re don't much like for settlers to
one away. Hut they can't raise
;ny objections and the natives are al!
peaceabl. When a man decides to
eave he has to post a written notice of
i s intentions in a public place for ten
ays and get a passport from tho Gov
't n-nent. I wrote letters to my people
here and received replies. The letters
o and come around by English steam
rs. I was bent on com:ng back to
Vlabama. though I had no money and
o means of making it. My relatives
.ere and in Texas sent us -f 100, and we
sold our I est clothes to raise $25. We
1 : 1 not have to pay fare for our 1 tt'o
irl. and only $2o for the boy and $'jO
each for myself an I wife. I hal no
vtu.se to 1 -ave th's country, and now
.inee I am home in Al-sbama once more
I will not bother about g ng oil" again
to go anywhere.'
Anderson Jones is thirty -six years
'd. Anderson is above t'le average of
his race in point of intelligence. His
.vife is a I'ght mulatto woman. Thev
have two children. They had onec'iild
i rn in Africa, which d ed early an. I
was buried there. And -rs n savs that
Liberia is a mighty poor country to live
i i. and there are many other American
n;-g.-oes there who wonld come back if
hey couid. He thinks this is God's
;ountryanlis willing to live his life
nt ami be nur.ea here, lie comes
i me sick with fever nd is getting
veil slowly. Mo'gomr.ry (Ala.) Ad
, ertiter.
Remarkable Law-Suit.
A curious law-suit is in progress in s
-mall town in Saxony. A man caught
rat, tied a small bell round its neck
.nd let it go again, as ho had heard
hat suL-h rat xvo ild s.-are every other
nt out of the house. Thi plan sue
seded, and his house in a few days
was clear of the plague. A few nights
i iter, however, his neighbor's family
were nearly frightened oat of their wits
iy hearing the mysterious so'inrl of a
rjell in various parts or tiie houso.
1 hev came to the conclusion that the
house was haunted, until the servant
r.rl aecidrmtallv heard of their neigh
or's doings, who is now to b.; fined, if
he loses the snit. for creating m nui
anee. A". Y. tost.
r-iantation Pnnosopny.
Eben de tr. ff dat coma from er
is sorter tainted.
liar
Der bery men dat tries ter hide dai
are tries ter show dar sperience.
Mos any man would ruther you'd
mv dat he's tol er smart lie den er
isrntmt tri.fE
Da man wbut has de mos' pleasan'
'quaintances mighty offjn has de fewer
real men s. Arkansaw Iravcier.
A Texan who has been in the
penitentiary five times for horse steal
inff. was released the other day. hav
ing just completed a five years sen
tence. Before nightfall he had stolen
another horse aud was lodged ia
eountj jail.
i..jrHER GARDNER.
It Tells Hew Kvra thr Most Humble May
t Atxtva tha Commtin Hard.
A note has Imii left on my desk
ttxln' me why do present alge has not
produced a Cicero, IMogenes or Milton.
I answer to de eileck dat each aige has
produced of itself an' fur itself.
Diogenes was looked upon as a wise
man In his day and aige. Put him an'
his tub on airth to-day, an it wouldn't
be twenty-four hours befo' he'd be jerked
to de jugful a crank, an delaw would
fo'ee him to cut his ha'r, dig out his
linger nails tin' put on a clean shirt.
Cicero was upplaudcd by thousand
fur his masterly oratory. At dst aige
de gift of gl was a rate thing. In
dis aige you can attend a live dollar
lawsuit befo' any justice of de pence
an' tind a match" fur Cicero In a three
tollar lawyer. If he could drsp down
mong us he tl litnl it hard work to get
a resolushun fur a Dew sidewalk frew
de cltv council.
Shakespeare was a big-bug fur de
aige in which he lived. He was proba
bly de only person on airth who could
writ his writings, an' he desnrved all
raise. If he was among us to-duv he'd
lird ehery newspaper givin' him de
guy, an' all de boys yellin' out "chest
nut!" as his works appeared in Seaside
orm. lis aige demands a different
stvle. We want sunthin' 'bout nnsrels
omin' down an takin' leetle ehil'en
straight up to Hcalxm, or a feller gwine
out lo Texas an' killin' half a dor.cn
Injuns a day fur a vacashun. We want
lain Knglish, widout anv ha d words
n it. We donn't know nntlin' 'bout
me Lord, m Duke, mo lady an' sich.
an we donn' want to. Dis a lire
has produced Uve thousand piissons.
w ho, while dev can t write like Shakes-
ear did, kin wnlli all aiouii' him
n keepiu' de reader's ha'r on eund
from de fust paige to de last.
ero was a big gun fur his aige, but
est you emagine sich a chap cavortiu.
aroun dis kentrv at h ilav an date.
e werrv fust time he so'umled his
bnr.H) in de Ninth ward a peeler would
give him de collar an' walk him down,
an' de next mawnin' vou'd see it in de
apera dat ole Nero was sent ui fur
sixtv days fur disttirbin' de peace.
We has no poet to ekal .Milton, but
if we had de newspapers wouldn't gin
him a fair show. Dey'd refer to his
prodnckshuns as spring poetry, an'
:ie'd likely lie dubied de Ha'n-gste
Halladist of Indiana. Dis aige donn'
cry fur poetry half as much as fur pork.
ami a cnap like .Mil ton would hev to
urn a hand-organ to make a living.
De aige doan' demand no great man
n any- line. hen it does he will bob
to de surface an' hi name will appeur
n de pnpers. We am all mo or less
orators. e am all wise miff in our
way. We am all philosophers 'miff to
see why water won t run tut hill, an
tatesmen 'miff to know dat what nils
dis kentry am its over-production of
bootjacks.
Mv advice to von am to keep right
on being common folks. If you want
o git above de common herd pav cash
fur vour grot-cries; let odder fotkses
wtHHl-pilea alone; keep whisky an sieh
nt arm's length: put in six dats a week
at hard work; read mo' hkule books an'
fewer novels. You may not become a
Napoleon nor a Plato, but you'll lie re-memlH-red
in jour own navburhood
when de names of State Gitvnors hev
bin forgotten. Drtrml Free W?s.
READING IN
WORKSHOPS.
A orrlg;n Idra WM h la Worth t of
Nat-
tuntllsatton In ThU oiitrx.
Mr. I-ocning, I'nited States Consul
at Bremen, in a report to our Govern
ment on the condition of the wage-
workers of that city, speaks of the in-
tell'g nee of a class of shop hands. He
says "they are well posted in the cur
rent news and are good politicians,"
and then proceed to tell how it hajt
pens that the shop hands in that city
are so much above the average me
chanic in intelligence and information.
He savs: "hvcry morning in these
large factories a ohI reader is picked
ont to read the morning papers to
them the workmen, while the other
workmen contribute so much to make
up his amountof work while he reads.'
Such a plan does not cost each la
borer probably one-tenth what he would
pay for a copy of the paper, and he also
saves the time he would otherwise spend
in reading it.
there are many trades in which such
plan could be adopted in this coun
try, like cigar-making aud others
where there is little noise to disturb
the reader, and it is worthy of adop
tion. Indeed, we believe it has Wen
adopted here in a few shops.
It is better than the individual
reading of a paper, because in the
latter case the reader will skip articles
not of special interest to him, while in
the former the whole paper is read an I
he is obliged to hear things he would
not himself read. It might be objected
that in some trades the reading would
disturb the workmen, but an hour or
an hour and a haif devoted to reading
by one could not be much of adisa(
vantage, even if it took the workman's
attention somewhat; and if then; is any
truth in the saying that labor is valu
able in proportion to its intelligence
all such lo.ss would be more than com
pensated for.
YA e should like to see this experi
ment thoroughly tried in this country.
It has been asserted that one-half of
the troubles of the laboring classes
spring from the fact that they are un
acquainted with events of the day, con
dition of the markets, state of trade
and kindred subjects. If that is true
the Bremen plan offers the easiest.
cheapest and quickest olution of the
ililhculty. It is worth a trial, and
there is no reason why its adoption
should not have the same salntaiy ef
fect upon the American that it docs
upon the foreign mechanic aud artisan.
Chicago A'ews.
The f wls of the air as well as the
beasts of the field are placed under
contribution by modern militarism.
In France, besides owning a military
carrier-pigeon service, the government
will havo at its command, in case of
war. the 150.000 "homers" owned by
tho three hundred pigeon-flying socie
ties of the country. Carrier pigeons
are used in Italy to convey dispatches
between R mo and the garrisons in
Sicily and Sardinia.
There are a number of women
studyiug med cine at the Belgian uni
versities, wishing- to obtain situations
in the apothecaries' shops. The phar
niaceulical course is the shortest, and
in some respects the easiest, aud it is
far cheaper than all other courses. A
iinmbor of young girls, who have
passed the pharmaceutical examina
tion, have fascinated the hearts of
country physicians, so that the hus
band prescribes, the wife makes up
the prescription, and the profits are
kept la the family.
BLOODY QERONIMO.
Advantnras of m Had Indian TVha I.ai
Itvluil.d tha l ult.d Blaise Araajr.
United States Indian Commissioner
Atkins speaking of Geronlmo, the guer
rilla Apache Indian Chief, who recently
surrendered to General Miles said:
'There has nut been such a warrior as
Geronimo since the days of Hob Hoy.
He has subsisted on tho roots of the
flesert and the serpents of the mountains
for neatly two years. He has been his
own commissary and chief of transpor
tation; he has worn out an army, and he
has kept a vast region of country in ter
ror. 1 art f his time he has been
wounded and sicK His barbarious hero
Ism nnd eudtii ance are uiisurpa.-scd In
any thing in history.
There are a good msny points atioul
this wonderful campaign that the public
at large aro not fum 1 ar with. The re
volt that hits just been brought to a close
by this capture was started by a woman,
the wife of Chief Mangus. She is a
woman of great force of c-haractei
and strikingly Int-llecliial for n
spiaw. She planned the escse and
urgi d the baud to desperate deed.
She was the Joan of Are of the
Apache race. Thei scapeof Geronimo
from Fort Apache took place on Mny
17. IHH.V W ith him he took 34 bucks.
8 hots and 1)1 women. They traveled
P.M miles before camping, and their
i ursuers were hot Uon their tracks,
but thev didn't get in sight of the In
d tins. V'or hundreds of miles this chase
was kept up until Geronimo was In the
fa-tness of the mountain. Finally, af
ter a desperate campaign, he was cap
tured by lieneral Crook, but was held
only one night, when he cs.-aped agam.
A few days after this escape he return
ed into the fort with four bucks, and,
seizing a white woman, told her that it
die did not tell him where hia wife's
tent was he would kill her. The woman
ttointed out the s-piaw'a tint Geron -mo
took his wife and was again at
large, having accomplished one of the
most daring and heroic deeds ever re
corded. Now that be I captured after
such a desperate chase. General Mile
w. II take good care that he does not
again escape. It would be a reflection
upon the general that be will take good
cure not to have it occur if this des
perado should again get at large."
At the Indian oflice the history ol
lb s notorious Indli.n was fully looked
up. His name, spelled Eronenio, first
occurs In Agent Clum's report of the
San Carlos Agency in 1876. Mr. Clum
vtntcs at length in that tear of the re
moval of the Chiricahus Apaches. In
April a band of thes. Ind sns attacked
Sulphur Springs Station and killed tw.
men, Messrs, Rogers and S pence. Tht
same band attacked the ranches of the
Kio San Pedro, killed one man and
very badly wounded another. A com
pany of cavalry went from Fort Howit
to punish these murderers. They pur
sued them sixty miles and had a "fight.
They killed no Indians and returned in
May. Six of the Chiricahua Apachec
were removed to San Carlos.
The name of the Chiricahua Indian,
had been a terror to Arizona and So
imra for many years previous to this.
Many graves in Arizona marked the
r sting places of their victims, and their
raids for plunder and murder were con
liiim d until the very day of their rt
moval. The reason for their remotal
was that they could lie managed better
n the San Carlos agency than in the
m iiintain fastnesses.
At th; time the trlle numbered five
iiiindrcd able warriors, well armed,
-.rave and exper.enced. They had de
lied the army, and had Invariably be-n
successful in all engagements with our
tn ops. General Ksutz. who was then
in command of tho Department of Ar
sons, sent twelve companies of the
Sixth Cavalry, two companies of Indian
-coots and a company of Indian po
I ccmcn to Apache Pass. The Indian
M-outs had a amall engagement with
Chief Taza. who commanded the Ch'ri
:husa, lut Taza and his trilte.when they
nd. rstood what was desired, voluu
te -red to go to San Carlos. About sixty
Indians under .tub end Geronimo ran
away into Sonora, where their home
had formerly leen. Tbey soon tired of
remaining in Mexico, however, for they
received no rations there, and so came
back to the I'nited States.
On September 2, 1877, three hundred
Hot Springs and Chiricahua Ind an
r.uddenlv deserted San Carlos. The
were pursued and thirty of them cap
tured. J he remainder went into New
Mexico and began to kill and pillage
settlers. Afler a long campaign they
were captured, but while being re
turned to San Carlos as usual about one
hundred made their e cape tothe moun
tains. A lonir and expensive ramnaiirr.
followed. The Indians were finally
worn out. and earn' back onlv to again
escape, this time to the San Mate
Mountains. Washington Critic.
Individuality of Animals.
The individuality of animals is not But
ficiently considered. Hence too much
stress is laid upon the performance ol
individual cows as a test of the charac
teristics and value of the breed to which
they belong. The fact is that there is
about as much difference between the
individuals of a breed as there is be
tween tho several breeds, and the indi
vidnal is constantly changing with the
d llerent per.ods of lactation, and from
tear to year. This change can be seen
in both the qual.ty and quantity of pro
duct- Hence, as de from the general
eppearance, the characteristics and
value of any breed of cows can be prop
erly judged only by the performances of
a large n niber of such cows under well
known natural conditions. Rural A'ew
Yorker.
m a
An Albany physician asserts that
many young ladies of that city use bel
ladonna to give brilliancy to their eyes.
It is employed chiefly by those who
have light eyes. Tho practice is a very
hurtful one, as it causes partial blind
ness. and besides affects the nerves of
the face, producing a muscular con
traction.
At Stratford-on-Avon a man living
near a sewage farm recently sued the
the corporation lor damages on ac
count of the suffering caused by the
horrible stench of the farm, and got a
verdict for f5,000. The afflicted plain-
tiff's lawyer said
client's nose could
for fo.000."
Little Freddy
he "thought his
stand a good deal
Smith, a twelve-
year-old boy living at Cochranton, Pa.
enjoys the distinction of being the
champion rabbit hunter of the State.
Last season by means of a bag and
large pet rat, which he used as a ferret
to explore the rabbit holes, he suc
ceeded in capturing more than two
hundred rabbits.
THE NEW SWISS QUrs.
V.'M With an Army ontnor on tha Kftneta
of Warfares
"Is not this indicative of a change In
the ethics of modern warfareP" asked
reporter the other day of a well known
rmy officer connected with the Wiir
Department lie was calling the offl-
er s attention to an Item nlvinir an
eeount of a new Swiss gun, aud which
lid: "Owing to the smooth surf see
f the steel-clad bullet it Is believed
hat the wounds inflicted will be much
more readily healed."
"No," replied the officer, promptly,
'that is not a change. It has always
een believed by modern military men
hat the killing of the enemy Is less
nimble than wounding them. Now
here Is but one thing to be attained
when conflict occurs between two
odies of troops. You, on one hand.
re endeavoring to secure some ad
vantage by forcing your enemy from
n important position, while they, of
nurse, are equally desirous of repell-
ng you and securing your place. The
rt and only way of accomplishing
this end Is by demoralising your oppo
nents and forcing them to retreat.
'here are three means of demoralising
n army lirst, the cannonade, which
nes comparatively little physical dam
age, but inspires lu the hearts of many
I an advancing or defensive force a
feeling of fear that often results In a
peedy panic and retreat; then comes
a wound, which has more of a moral
fleet than you might suppose. A
wounded man always wants and
ul ways gets a great deal of
sympathy from his comrade, who.
seeing his condition are very aid
to
be seised with a sudden desire to
how generosity toward the poor fellow
ml lo help him to the rear. A
unded man often means three meu
ut of the ranks, while a dead man
omit but one. And so, for this rea
son, killing is put last In the list of
esirable demoralicera, as it is consid
ered a useless barbarity.
"The Chinese have the same theory,
it would seem. In regard to warfare.
ney have an arrangement known by
ie inelegant but expiessive name of
stinkpot.' It Is a -ncentration of
iabolism and odorThe only use, of
urse, to which it can be put in a con-
-st is for demoralizing the eneniv.
I ere are but few men who could
uart-h through the atmosphere created
ty this invention of the surprising
irniu of the heathen Chinese. The old
Greek lire was partly for destruction
nd as much for demoralization. The
Roman idea of battle was purely san
guinary. Now, to come down to thi
iew bullet. The chances of death from
a wound resulting from it are consid
erably reduced owing to the fact that
n leaving the. gnu its surface is com-
ara ively smooth. The lead is cov-
red by a thin sheet of steel, which
i-ea.lilv takes the rifling of the bore
nd d-es not emerge with jagged edges
vhieh tear and irritate the wound and
ncrease the liability of death. The
rifling of the gun Is also curious.
Heretofore it was thought that a rifle
t one turn in fifteen inches was all
hat could le safely secured. It was
Irelicved that any thing steeper would
suse a choke. Now this Swiss gun is
rifled with one turn iu four inches.
which is unparalleled in the history of
he making of small arms. This in
sures great accuracy of aim, which in
urn enables a marksman to wound au
tnfagonist rather than kill him out-
ight, ' Wajthinqlon Star.
WOMAN'S PERVERSITY.
SI other Consents to Her Dang-htsr'a Mar
riage Harsoa. the rather Objects.
Scene I Tlace, parlor. Time, twelve
tiiduight. She in his arms. He bilg
ing her with an elaborate intepsity
lamaging to the strings of her uphol-
tery.
He Darling, I love you better than
ife. Be mine, sweet one, forever. Be
ny wife, augel of my existence will
iou, petr
She (softly murmuring) Yea, dear
fohnnie.
Nineteen double esthetic distilled
osses in one minute by the clock.
ilrand tableau. The cats sing in joy
ful unison on the fences in the rear.
Scenk II. Place, family sitting-
room, lime, in AO a. m. she blush
ing by the stove. Her mother, rather
wrathy, sitting iu the straigh test
backed chair in the apartment.
Mother Good gracious, Clara, what
made him stay so late? I have been
sitting up waiting for you until I am
half dead for sleep. Why, its nearly
one o'clock.
She Well, ma, don't blame him. It
was all my fault. (Ah! the dear girls;
they always defend the men they love
until they legally get them.)
Mother Why, Clara, what makes
you look so funnyP So you love tis
young manP
She (blushing more so, and speaking
with the verbal difficulty of heartfelt
motion) Yes. dear ma. and he loves
me, and I promised to-nignt to be his
wife.
Mother Good-gracious sakes alive.
child! ny, lie is too poor to marry
you. What docs he make a week now
She Twelve dollars, ma; but O! his
prospects aro so bright, and we are both
young and can wait, and we will, ma.
Mother W ell, you can never marry
him. He is too poor, Clara-
She weeps, not only in a wholesome
manner, but with elaborate hysterical
ornaments.
Mother (relenting a little) Well, go
to bed now, my child. It s very late.
I will talk to your father about this
matter.
The cats sob in painful harmony on
Jie roof of the extension.
r.CKKE III Place, bed-room of tha
head of the family. Time, 1:15 a. nv
The mother in bed and husband asleep
deeply and snoring musically.
Mother (to husband) Say. father,
John Denny has proposed to our Clara.
Old man stand the assault for a mo
moment, and then, waking up, ex
claims profanely: -0, it's you. is itP
Pretty time to get in bed with cold feet.
What the deuce do you want nowP
The mother Ain't yon ashamed of
yourself to talk that way to me? 1 say
that John Denny baa proposed to our
Clara, and she love him, too.
Old man You don't tell ma io.
rtiirnh. He' too ioor. Do you k nod
what be make a week now?
The mother Only twelve dollars
Old man O, he's too poor. Sh
can't marry that church-mouse.
The mother (now tailing sides with
her daughter) Danle' Welister June.
I want to ask you what salary you!
were getting when you cried and blub
bered fur me some twenty odd year
ago? j
Old man (in a November tone of
voice) You know, Sarah Jane, I told
you then, and you have not forgotten
IU
Tha mother Weil, tell me now,
Daniel. You hear met
Old man Oh, eight dollars per
week.
Tha mother Well, you got me in
time, and I guns our Clara can hare
the young man she loves. He now
beats you by four dollars a week. We
give our consent. You hear me,
Daniel? '
Old man Yes, ye, dear. All right.
Now go to sleep. It's late. Good
night, dear.
The cat executed a regular break
down of hilarity on the outer window
ledge of the bathroom. Tid-RiU.
THE SHAH'S WEALTH.
Jawal. nnd Oesna Worth On Hundred Mil
lion, of Italia ra.
What he term hi museum is
rurions place. It contain a profusion
of costly articles and objects of art such
exists nowhere els at the present day.
it being the opinion of well informed
Europeans, who hare viewed tlie
treasures, that their money yalue b
perhsp twenty-fold that of the so-called
green vault at Dresden.
It is impossible to give exact figures,
for tney could only be ob'tinetl after a
long and minute inspection and valua
tion by expert; but roughly estimated,
it is probable that there is more than
$100,000,000 worth of jewelry, prceiom
stones, coined and nnooined gold, costly
objects de vertu, fine porcelain and
glass-ware, old weapons and armor,
table-ware and ornaments of of exquslu
Persian and Hindu workmanship,
etc. The so-called peacock throne (a
part of the plunder Nadir Shah carried
off from Delhi one hundred and fifty
years ago) Is alone value! at many
millions, even after a number of th
large, rough and uncut jewels have
been broken out and stolen.
It is an incongruous place, this mu
seum. I Here you will see vases of
agate or gold and lapis lazuli, said to
be worth millions, and alongside ol
them empty perfume bottLsj of Eu
roean make, with gaudy labels, that
can be had at wholesale at five
cents apiece. You will see priceless
mosaics aud exquisite painted cups
ami cans and vases, which were
presented by some European potent
ate; and side by side with them voti
will notice horrible daubs, veritable
ten-rent chromos, picked up the Lord
knows how and where. You will per
ceive glass cases filled with huge heaps
of rubies, diamonds, emeralds, sap.
phi res, turquoises, garnets, topazes.
beryls of all sizes and kinds, cut and
uncut; and cheek by jowl with these
your eyes will see cheap music-boxes.
jew s-harps, squeaky hand-organs.
The Shah must also be in condition
to "bull" the market on pearls, for
here is, for instance, a big glass case,
twenty-four inches long by eighteen
inches wide and high, that is more than
half filled with beautiful pearls, mostly
from the Persian Gulf fisheries, of all
sixes and degrees of loveliness. In n
separate long case the orders and deco
rations of the Shah, coming from near
ly every country in the world, are kept
on exhibition; but Uie crown jewels
are in a little box that is always locked,
and for which the Shah himself for
ever, waking or sleeping, carries the
keys. The contents of this box and oi
the several vaults where he keeps hi?
piles on piles of bright, shining, un
used money, bo never allows others to
view, although the museum may be
visited once a year by the European
diplomatists and the friends that they
vouch for. Cosmoftolitan.
A New York Comment.
A large number of Chicago girls met
one evening last week for the purpose I
forming a "Ladies' Anti-Slang Society."
The meeting was called to order, and
Miss Sadie De Pork was elected presi
dent. Before takin a: her scat, she said
in a clear, calm, well modulated voice:
Ileal ly, girls. I am too badly rattled
by the honor conferred upon me to give
you much of my guff. It's the first time
ever I tumbled to anything of this sorL
and I hardly know just how to catch
on. However. I'll try to be sufficiently
up to snuff TTot to let any flies light on
me while doing the president-of-this-so-ciety
act. I'm with you in this move,
and don't any of you forget iL All
over our laud slang words mid phrases
are multiplying like flies in sorghum
time, and it is our duty to help knock
this crying evil as silly as possible.
Ltd our motto be: 'Shoot the slangist. "'
Tid-ltits.
Shakespeare's immortal sentence,
"He who steals my purse steals trash,"
would indicate that in his day. as in
modern times, the poetry business
didn't pay. Washington Critic
"I see a buttonless shirt advertised
here, John," said a wife, looking up
from a paper. "What kind of a shirt
is thatP" "Just like mine," was the
reply. And the wife resumed her read
ing. N. T. Graphic
There is a great deal of talk just
now about the declining power of the
pulpit. The fact is, it isn't the pulpit
which is declining; but a great many
people are declining to listen to it The
pulpit, probably, was never stronger
than it is to-day. N. T. Tribune.
Collector for the heathen "Is Mr.
Jones at homeP" Mrs. Jones "He is
down in tho cellar trying to fix the fur
nace. It won't draw. Shall I call him
up?" Collector (hurriedly) "O. no.
Til call some other time." Boston
Courier -
Major Sinclair, who is in charge of
the Mount Vernon barracks, Ala., has
in his care 250 Apache prisoners who
belonged to Geronimo's band. Under
Sinclair's management they are be
coming partially civilized. They have
learned the use of brooms and wash
tubs, and a few of the more progressive
squaws even iron their clothing.
THE DOOTOR'S DILEMMA.
The
Hard How WlikR the A, .race I'hfa
slnlHa Has to Hoe.
The Individual, no mstter what hi
profession may be, who Imagine that
he is going to give satisfaction to the
general public in any thing he may
undertake, is certainly the victim of a
delusion. It Is Impossible to please
every body. The man, be bis station
in life what it may, who comes up to
the expectation of the multitude has not
yet been born. The editor, iu particu
lar, sown makes this discovery. The
clergyman also know that there are
people in hi congregation who are
neve: satisfied with what he doe or
eaves undone. The doctor I another
professional man who has a bard row
to hoe.
Ii a doctor dresses well and wear a
high bat, people say that he is a medical
dude. If. on the other hand, he pays
little or no attention to his toilet, theu
be is accused of lack of dignity. If he
goes Into society, attends ball and
parties, then the impression is that he
is fishing for popularity. If he does not
he is accused of putting on airs.
If the physician visit hi pnt'ents
while they are in good health, he Is ac
cused of foisting himself upon them.
He comes to the house in order to bo
InritM lo dinner. If. on the other
hand, he never comes until he is called.
the Inference is that the only use thut
he has for his patients is to make money
out of I hem when they are sick. If the
doctor attends church, of course he is a
hyrocriie who is trying to work on the
religion feeling of the community.
If he d'K-s not attend church, nothing
can be plainer th in that he is an infidel
or a socialist. If the doctor's wife does
ot return the calls that other ladies
make on her, then she is stuck up.
turning up her nose at her belters, etc.
If s'te doc return the call, then she is
flushing patients for her htt-sband to
.oid at.
If the doctor's horse is fat. that is a
sure sign that be has not got much to
do. If the animal is emaciated, he is a
brute for not. taking better care of his
horse. If he drives fast, he is trying to
create the false impression that he ha
been called to the bedside of some im-
iMjrtnnt patient. If he drives slowly he
does not care a cent whether or not hi
patients die before h? gets to them.
If a pa'ient recovers his health, he i
indebted to a kind 1 rovidence or a
strong constitution, or to the care tha:
was taken of him duriug his illness.
In no case is the d K-tor entitled to any
credit for his recovery. If the pattern
dies, he was undoubtedly murdered by
his physician. If the medical man i-
sociable ami talkative, the people say:
We don't want a doctor who tell
every thin z he knows." If he Is a
silent man. then they say a doctor
should -!iciiirge his patients to In
comiminica'jt e.
if ho talks poliiic. they say that
doctor should have no politios; and i
he does not talk politics, then he is .
sneak and a lime-servcr who either ha
no publics or is afraid to own up wha
Ids poli:i-s really nre. If he does no
send in his b'll. his object i to preven
the patient from engseving anothe
doctor. If he do' send in his bill, )
Is in a fearful hurry for hi money, an
so on to ihe end of the chapter. 7V.ro.
Blfling$.
m a m
SOCIAL VAMPIRES.
IMitaetlve Azenelea That Am Nothing
More Than IllaeasnaUlaa; Coneeras.
Something ought to be done to con
trol these private detective agencies,"
said a police omcer ol rank to a re
porter. "They are a nuisance, and
work more harm than any one im
afines. I don't refer to the straight
agencies, but these concerns that do all
the dirty work are the ones 1 refer to.
Anybody can start a detective agency.
and some of tho men who work for
many of these in Chicago ought to be
in the penitentiary. Many private
detectives make their living by black
mail, aud it is easy to see that they
have a fine field to work in. Take, for
instance, a case of a woman, or even
man, who has some standing. Some
one it may be a husband or wife, or
even an outsider puts a detective on
the track of the one he wants to find
out about, and the victim is followed
eveiywhere. suppose something is
found out and there s nobody but has
a little dark spot that shouldn t be ex
posed and here's where the chance for
blackmail comes in. The detective
makes his rejtort and receives his pay,
but doesn't let the matter rest there.
He has a hold on the one he'd been
shadowing, and when the proper time
comes he work the racket for what it's
worth. Hu wants a loan after letting
the victim know, of course, what
knowledge he possesses, and nine to
one he gets it. The one affected knows
that he can't afford exposure and he is
willing to pay for secrecy. Mind you.
all private detectives don't work this
snap, but many of them do.
T know of a young man who robbed
his employer. The latter knew some
thing was wrong, so he hired a shad
ower. Proof against the young man
was complete, and when he was
confronted with it he confessed
every thing. He begged not to be
exposed, and the employer consented
to his remaining, provided he made up
the shortage. This he did an.i after
wards regained his employer's confi
dence. Then he married a fine girl
and was hany. The world smiled on
him and he was gettitig along as nicely
as any one could wish when one day
he was called on by a strange man,
who soon let him know that he was the
detective who had done the shadowing.
He didn't say that he would expose the
young man. but the latter knew what
the matter was and readily consented
to make a small loan. Instead of tell
ing his wife and employ er about it he
struggled on, meeting "demands made
on htm, and nnauy wok to ariuKing.
His employer discharged him, he went
lower and lower, and when he got clear
into the gutter his wife left him be
cause he couldn't support her. The
other day, I see by the papers, she sued
toe a divorce, and she'll get it,"
Don't forget that the great Father
of all has had infinite trouble with you.
Quite probably you have been quite as
rtfractory. ung ateful and disobedient
to Him as any child you have has been
to you. Let this thought temper your
anger, and make you wise. . Yon direct
a complex human souL
Tri. Vast Amount of Jasr Uoeste In tha
Uoveramaat Treasury,
"There is money enough there to
make you and me rich for the rest of
our lives," said a Secret Service official
to the correspondent. The conversa
tion took place in one of the rooms of
the Secret-Service Division in the
Treasury Department, and "there"
was a vault from which messenger
were carrying little canvas bags and
packages done op in roanila paper and
sealed with red wax. "But I am
afraid," the official continued, that It
wouldn't do us much good. There are
a couple of million dollars there, but.
every cent of it is bogus."
i he "queer" was being taken out of
the Secret-Service vaults to be exam
ined by a committee which has been ap
pointed by the Secretary of tho Treas
ury for that purpose previous to being
destroyed. It is eleven years ago since
the last counterfeit money In the Treas
ury was destroyed, and these 2.000,000
represent the work of the counterfeit
ing fraternity since that time. When
ever a shover of the queer Is captured
with any bogus stuff on him the money
is sent to Washington, where it lies in
a vault until enough has been accumu
lated, when it is destroyed. Each cap
ture is kept separate from the others,
and the bogus coin is treated just the
same as if it were United States money,
just issued from the mint The care
which is exercised is shown In the
manner in which the packages are
marked. Here is a sample:
No. 104 B. One thousand and fortv-
eight.
'A. One hundred and twenty dollar
(f 120). twenty-five cent coin."
llie number and letter A refers to a
record and complete inventory which
is kept of every east.
We have in that collection." said
the Secret Serviceman, "gold and silver
nnd every thing in the shape of paper
from a one-cent revenue stamp up to a
thousand-dollar government, which is
the largest bond that has ever been
counterfeited. There are 208 of the
thousand-dollar bond which were mad
by the great firm of Brockway, Smith
A Dovle. probably the three trreatest
men iu their business we have ever
known. Some ot the work on tho bonds
is finer than the genuine, but that is ac
counted lor wuen you remember that
Smiih was the engraver who did the
work for the Government, and when
he w-nt into business for himself he
improved on his first effort.
. "Stories connected with this money!
t should say. Here is some stuff (and
he picked up a bag of half-dollar)
which was taken from a gang of eigh
teen that operate! in West Virginia in
1882 and Wl. Their leader was a
member of the State Legislature, and
when we bagged him at last he boasted
f hating sjHikcn on the floor of the
House wi:h counterfeit money in his
p-icketst No, I can't tell you his name,
because since his relea from prison,
where we sent him, he has been living
a respectable life and is now in business
in West Virginia and is doing well.""
There's sums stuff we captured at
O.weg... N. Y.. in 18 W. The brains oj
that gang wa a Mr. Ingersnll, and a
pretty bad woman she wa. too. Twc
of her daughteis were with her, and. a
they were very pretty girl, lha oid
womai found them very nseful in fas
cinating young men of a certain class,
so that at last thy were willing to do
any thing the girl wanted. This pack
age recall a tragedy. It was made by
a big gang in Indiana some year ago,
and when our men went to arrest them
one of ihe fellows shot an officer through
the hand, and he promptly returned
the fire and shot his mau through the
heart."
"Is thre m-ich counterfeiting going
on at the present time?"
"No, very little. The only man of
any prominence in the business we
know of now out of jail is Pete Mi
Cartney, and he is now being tried in
New Orleans for raising one dollar silver
certificates. You see, it takes a good
deal of money to counterfeit notes.
There must be a good engraver, a man
who knows his business thoroughly,
and a first-class printer. It takes from
six months to a year to engrave the
plates, and during that time the men
lave to live. McCartney's principal
work was issuing bogus $20 greenbacks,
aud in his time he must have made
thousands and thousands of dollar out
of them. About three months ago be
was released from prison, but he had
no money, and to tide him over until
he could get fund be tried to turn one
dollar silver certificates into fifties and
was caughL"
Besides the f2.000.000 of bogns
money, there are millions of dollars in
what are known as "flash" notes.
These imitations are greenbacks used
for advertising purposes, and although
they were not got np for fraudulent
purposes, it is a violation of the law to
make any sort of imitation ot .United
States currency or Government obliga
tion. These flash notes are often p&sseil
off on the Negroes of the South as good
money by confidence men. The Secret
Service people at a rough gnesa believe
they have $0.000,000 worth of flash
notes in their possession. All this bogus
money will be counted by the Treasury
Committee. The notes will be sent to
the macerator and ground into pulp
and come to life again in tht shaoe of
sickly-looking pug dogs or busts of
Garfield and Cleveland, while the coin
will be melted down at the Navy Yard
and perhaps become eventually part of
the new navy. Washington Cor. Cin
cinnati Enquirer.
v iu vou oe Kind enough, pa:
said Bobby, in a low, well-modulated
tone of voice, "to j;ive me another
piece of pie ?" "No, sir," replied the
old man, "you've had euough." "51a,"
said Bobby, "you told me that polite
ness always pays. A". T. Sun.
- m m
Bless your soul." said an old
Scotch lady who was fond of quoting
and applying Scripture, to Dr. Chalm
ers, one day "Bless your soul, here
you are, always going about like a
roaring lion trying to do good!"
A Yankee tailor has invented a new
style of boys' trousers which is highly
recommended. They have a copper
seat, sheet-iron knees, are riveted down
the seam, and have waterproof pockets
to hold broken eggs. .,