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About Bohemia nugget. (Cottage Grove, Or.) 1899-1907 | View Entire Issue (Nov. 14, 1902)
' ' ' m&H YdOAVENTAWAV.
Vw n lr jllta thin, ilpnr Heart,
You cut nwnyi
'Though spring, n chill wns In (ho air,
'1'liu sky wn gray.
Tlx nrth before Hint and, and tlmo
llml scattered Unlit
Ami left tli ii fragrant muiulowa grumif
In hut uliiht. 1
Hut on lint ilnjr you went, dear Hunrt,
A breath of mow
1II from Ilia whitening beard of tlnioi
a tinmen woo
Withered the Joy within my lift
And left It gray,
Ami tnnilo inn old with sadness, when
You went away.
I ennuot now ho brave, dear Iltart)
Thit sadness mill
Speaks to me In mournful whispers
From wood mil hill)
On the sky tlio niiluiiiii shadows
Trail their gray
The mi caii'I slilnu, until to yon
I go away.
Chicago Intvr Ocenn.
Two Alternatives I
NI) now, Jnrk, what can I do?
liu follows mo everywhere, and
hu stand around and nglca mo
with thnt dolcstnhlo 'baby slnru' of Ms,
and mid- you'ru laughing, Jack! You
nru as mean nil you can lie, to laugh
when I coiiio to you for nilvlco."
lilt her slumped tier foot J nek Onus
by lenned ngulnut thy vornmlit railing'
and watched hor with amused eyes.
"I rnn't help smiling, Esther, but I
cnu appreciate the Irrltntlon poor Hal
lowell mint cause you."
"Irrllatloal" A world of emphasis
entered Into tho word. "And Just bo-
causo I wan foolish enough to let him
irox)M) to invl" she walled.
"Well, of course," Jack nnll slowly,
"you must expect to hnvo your scalps
com you n lltllo lomcthliig, Essie."
"Ho doesn't say anything," exclaimed
tho girl. If ho did, It would give uie a
chance- to tell htm what I think of hU
dogging my footstep everywhere."
"It certainly U n en no of 'tho villain
till pursued her," Urnmliy Mid. "What
do you want uio to do, Esale coll lilin
out and plug him full of holes?"
"Ughl Don't ho mi vulgnrl I don't
want you to do anything1 but tell mo
what to du to tret rid of him."
Jack wai almoat tho only man aha
know well who had not promised to
her. Men had fallen before her charms,
had (aid their little piece (and some
said It rather well, sho had to admit to
herself), and gono their way, and until
now no man had really been ablo to
troublo her aerenlty,
"Do think of something. Jack," ihs
pleaded. It's been three months now
alnro ho ho "
"Since ho aald tho monientotia wonli
which mado hlni-uot your. eliY' And
Ormsby laughed, but hla banda trem
bled oa ho shifted tho en no a little.
with a swirr iiivk ottusur
"Don't be, absurd! Ho doeau't want
me any inoro than other men do."
"Whowl Your aoreiia coucolt la cer
tainly charming, Essie."
"Don't bo unkind. You know It'i
true," alio aald, calmly, "Any woman
with duffy hulr and bluo eyes cnu bring
men to bcr feet. Only you don't got
foolish and proioao to me, Jack."
"No. I don t propose) to you," bo
aald ijultu calmly.
"And that's why I llko you."
"Then I'll try not to make you dta
like mo. Hut what cnu I do to poor
Hallowell? A cat may look at a king"
- Hut Esther Interrupted snappish-
That'll no reason why a calf should
look at uio ult tho tlmol"
"Poor glrll You're finding It mighty
hnrd getting nwny from tho conse
quences of your own Bin, oh?"
"What Bin hnvo I committed J" alio
demanded, with conscious Innocence
"Is It a oln to refuse to marry a muu
you don't want?"
"No-o. Hut bow about well, not ex
actly leading btra ou to proposing
. Hho favored him with a frigid look.
"I beg your pardon, Mr. Ormaby," she
"Well, you needn't," ho snld qulotjy,
"You expect plain talk from people
whoso advlco you nsk, don't you? No
man will over nsk a woman to marry
him If alio doesn't glvo him tho oppor
tunity." "That Is different; but such romarks
'ns you' nro ranking now ore hardly In
tho nature of advice, Jack."
"Well, I don't sou that there's much
you cau do," bo drawled, nnd bis eyes
began to twluklo. "Thcro seems to be
but two courses to pursue, and two
"Ob, hero's your Sultan and the run
about I" suddenly cried Esther, clap--ping
her hands and springing up. "Are
you going to tnko mo to rldo, Jack!"
"Well, It's what I camo around for,
but your talo of woo about knocked It
out of my head."
The negro from tho stablo leaped out
nnd held tho big bay's head. Esthor
ran down to tho gate, forgetting tho bo
rufllod pnrasol lying on tho vornnda.
Ormaby followed latlly.
'"Foellug pretty gny, Isn't lio, Jock
son?'' ho asked, pulling on a glovo and
looking at Sultan, who danced charm
ingly to tho accompaniment of llttlo
squeals of delight from Katuer.
"Yes, snlu bo do, sab."
"Hop In, Basle," Ormsby said, hold
ing out his hand to assist her. Then,
ho added, "Speaking of angels, there's
ij ARMY PRIVATE GETS
4t4H - 4 - t -
From th poiltlon of print la th regular army of th United Stste at a
salary of $18 month to that of gorrrniuent contractor In transactions Involving
thousands upon thousands of dollars la a brosd leap for a man to tak In a few
abort year. Yet eucb auecesa lias been accomplished by a young man whoa
bom Is now In Chicago. Ills uanio la Francis II. Huisacott
Mr. Iluitaeott rose from tb rabk of private to the position of an opulent eon
tractor through the Instrumentality of patents secured by him on a unique concep
tion of cooking rang for use by the army In the field. For yeara he fought and
atruggled against reverses and Infringements, and la Just now beginning to enjoy
ths fruits of his unique career. Within the last few daya be closed a contract
with tho War Department for WW of the routes patented by him, and this deal
Involves returns amounting to $'27,000, a sum sufficient to round out a snug $200,000
which tli aoldlsr-coutractor has received from the government within th last
The rang which has been responsible for the remarkable rise of Sir. Huxia
cott Is an Ingenloua afTalr, populsr with the Wsr Department because It Is com
pact, portable, txtremely durable, and simplifies cooking In the field and open air.
It Is made of malleable Iron, which can bo beaten and pounded with sledges,
but which will not break. When In transit the range forms a chest In which are
packed th boilers, pans and other cooking paraphernalia for 100 men. It ro
quires no pscklng, bums any kind of fuel, can be gut ready for cooking In flvo
minutes after being taken from a wagon or train, and ns quickly taken down and
loaded again If an emergency should arise. The range la mado In three slies.
On for twenty-live men Is Intended for tho medical department, another for six
men la for officers and apeclal detachment, while the third, with a cooking ca
pacity of 100 men, la for troop, battery or company use.
A fresh faced young fellow cantered
by on a flno bono and lifted hla hat
seriously. A little way beyond ho pull
ed In the animal, and dismounted as
though he would come back to apeak to
tbn couple at tho runabout
Do hurry upt" exclaimed Bather un
der ber breath. "What shall I do to
get rid of him. Jack? You said tbero
were two ways. What are they?"
"W1L and Ormsby buttoned tho
glovo slowly and put ono foot on the
step of the rutuilwut. "you might marry
mm to get rid of him."
No, thank you!" she exclaimed, pout-
Ing and tossing ber head. Then alio
atartcd and looked toward tbo bouao.
"Oh. Jack my poroaoll I shall want
Ormaby bad already leaned forward
to sclso tbo reins. IIo glanced at tbo
colored man. "Miss Dlnglcy's parasol
Is ou tbo veranda, Jackson," ho sold.
Tbo mnn dropped Sultan's bridle.
Like a flash the bay threw up bis bead
Tho lines bad not been quite within
Ormsby's grnap. Ills foot slipped from
the at ill. IIo mado a leap to reach tbo
carriage, but Sultan swung Into a long
stride on tlio instant and fairly snatch
ed tbo runabout from under bis mas
"Tho reins, tbo reins! Quick, Easier
Thank God, she knew what ho rneant
and sclzod tlio reins before tbey slipped
over tbo dasblioard to danglo about Sul
tan's heels and drive blm mad with ter
ror. Hut tbo horse know Inatautly that
an unfamiliar band held tbo reins, and
bo Increased big trot to a gallop.
Ksther told herself that sbo would
not be frightened and she drow tho
lines In firmly and said, "Whoa!"
Hut Sultan saw no reason for "whoa-
Ing" Just then. There was a long stretch
of dusty, sunlit road before blm, and
ho seized tho bit In his strong teeth, and
bolted. IIo flew by Ilallowell's mouut
with a rush and set that creature to
dancing,, Hallowell bung on to tho
leather and stared with round eyes af
ter the runawiiy.
Ills astonishment was vastly Increas
ed when a second whirlwind reached
blm. Ormsby went at blm as though
be was playing football.
He snatched the brldlo from Hallo-
woll's haud, and that young man was
Bent rolling In the dust as Jack leaped
astride and set the now frightened ani
mal aftor tho bolting Sultan.
Much has beco written about the use of women aa beasts of burden in
Europe, and photographs have shown them attached to ropes drawing boats on
Holland canals, and sometimes yoked with the animals pulling farm Implements.
It may not be generally knowfl thst in some of the forelgu colonies of tbe North
west women have furnished tho power for turnips over many an acre of sod and
converting It Into fields for raising grain, The acconipauylng illustration la from
a photograph taken in Manitoba, uud showa a Bohemian farmer furrowing the
virgin prairie with a team of fourteen female members of the colony, Qeversl
of them are over 60 yeara of age.
RICH ii "31: 33. Kii
'. ! of Qovermtat Contracts. ;
'H4 - f ri-H-ili l till
Tho road for n mllo was clear, but
wbcro It Joined the boulevard beyond
Ormsby know tbo runaway would
burst Into n tangle of cnrrlago of all
deserlptlona, nnd tho end would bo se
rious. IIo didn't know much about the
soundness of Ilallowell's mount, but
ho would hnvo mado an asthmatic old
car horse do stunts Just then.
Like tho wind ho rode, nnd tils
mount's noso soon came up to Esther's
shoulder. Foot by foot be gained on
Sultan and then;' wYh Taw. dlv
Ormsby seized tho reins, which Esther
bad continued to cling to with all her
llttlo might. A strong pull on both
horses, and Sultan lustuntly recognized
the fact that all his fun wns over.
IIo slowed down and In half n block,
nnd Just before the Junction with tho
boulevard, stopped, as gcutlo as a lamb.
For a mlnuto they gated at each other.
"Well." Ormsby said at last, "you
camo near escaping tho pursuit of tbo
villain that time, Essie, for good and
Esther's eyes grow luminous. "And
you dared suggest that I marry him!"
Bho snld. catching her breath.
"Well, you know there was an alter
native." "And thnt Is?" still looking at him.
"That you might marry me to get rid
of blm. Thnt that would bo effectual,
Another breath of silence, and then
Esther murmured, "Well, Jack, dear,
wo might try It!" Homefolks.
Senator Proctor of Vermont Is report
ed by a Western weekly paper to liavo
said that tho finest. speech ho over made
consisted of only four words.
Senator Hoar, In a speech In tho
course of which he chaffed good-naturedly
tho Senator from tho Green Moun
tain Stnte, mado this little thrust:
"No man In Vermont Is allowed to
vote unless he has mado llvo thousand
dollars trading with Massachusetts peo
Senator Proctor retorted, "And we all
Power front an Artoalan Well.
A wood-working machine at St. Au
gustine, Fla., is driven by water flow
ing from an artesian well. This Is tho
only instance known of power, being do- J
riYi-u iroui a uowiug weiu
Some men have tbo misfortune to al
ways hnvo a Job and greatly envy tho
fellows wuo cannot And work.
rtANfJE OF THE RAMAP08.
A Wild Itsgloo I-tIii Clos to M
Who would believe Hint within thirty
two miles of New York city there are
mountain dwelling fu a district so wild
and rough Hint tbey are Inaccessible
even to tho feet of ponies; that no prod
uco can bo taken out to nor supplies
brought In from these farms save on tho
hacks of tnen; that the people gain their
living by making baskets, wooden
spoons and such light articles as they
can transport on their shoulders; that
even tho bodies of tbo dead cannot be
taken out, but must be burled In tho
forest or la the; yards of tho mountain
cabins? A region where the people aro
as primitive In their ways, though not
so lawless In their tendencies, as the
Tennessee mountaineers? It Is hard to
believe, but It Is true.
When, In the middle of August, I
pitched my tent on tho easterly side of
tho easterly range of the Itnmapos, In
Itockland County, close to a mountain
stream, I did not know that Just over
tho range of these wild mountains de
scendants of the Tory rangers of 1770
were yt-t to be found. I did not know
Ibat tho higher reaches of the moun
tains were tolerably full of rattlesnakes
uf great size and tieauty. I did not
know that the wild dogs lived up there.
I only perceived that the hills were
beautiful, tho air puro and Invigorat
ing, the woods practically uubroken
and the streams clear and cold. I per
ceived that there were no swells' places
anywhere In tbo hills, and that the wood
ranger's pasturage was unbroken. Tho
people whom I met wero cordial, smil
ing, unsuspicious. I liked Uamapos as
the result of only a glance, and liked
them still better after a camping ac
quaintance of a couple of weeks.
It certainly did not decrease my In
terest to know that, beginning some
twenty or more years ago, sundry do
mestic dogs of large size, finding In the
Itamapo woods no one to say them nay,
bad fled from tbo lowland farms to the
hills, and bad, after going quite wild,
started a breed of creatures which has
now taken on quite a type of Its own.
New York Mall and Express.
Mrs. Humphrey Ward enjoys the dis
tinction of being paid more for ber lit
erary work than any other woman now
living or who fcver lived.
Mario Corclll Is credited with saying:
"I read In the papers that Kipling has
gone up Into Scotland to And material
for new stories. The Idea of anybody
trying to write of Scotch life after Sir
Itcst, In Its ordinary acceptation, Is a
comparatively unknown quantity lu
Everett Hale's busy life Few
'nrn flin flflr In Mm fnrnl :tll?l Imr whnr
are the days In tbo total 3U5 but what
are moro or less tntersbot with work
of some sort or other. True It Is not of
the laborious order, rather It Is of tho
kind that makes deeper, more Insidious
Inroads mental. Intellectual, spiritual.
Miss Sarah Orne Jpwett dearly loves
flowers, spending some of tbo happiest
or summers bours working among
mora in an om-iasuionco gnruen dock
or uer noine. ints inuercnt love or ev
cryming wnoiesome. comuineo. n
her sympntby and devotion to the. peo-
pie or wnom.ne writes, aro wnnt make
her stories so real-so pungent with tho
oreez ness nnu ouor or mo awcet-smeii-
iuB jmira i mo Maine woous.
Mrs. E. D. E. N. Eootlrworth's first
story, Retribution, published In 1810
In the National Era, and which Is said
to have been the first novel published
serially In thl-j country, wns not writ
ten for pure Unanclal gain, but simply
to Inflict upon tbe public tho fact that
another author was born unheralded
by tbo usual story of hunger and tbo
"garret." It Is a fact that her novels
In tbo Boston public library are re
bound of tcner than any other works of
Somo one quoted Robert Louis Stev
enson In hearing of Marie Corelli hav
ing Bald, that no ono with a family to
support ever ought to attempt to wrlto
unless he hna an assured Income from
somo other source. Miss Corclll blazed
with Indignation. "It makes me so
angry to bear writers who have promi
nence talk in that manner," sho said.
"I have made a success, I liavo bup-
ported my family, but I don't think J
you can uo it iou u neuer not try lu
. ...ii . uauu uu uu g.iuiueu io
tho top of a tree, saying to those be
low: 'It is true I have reached tho ton,
but it Is very doubtful If you can do It,
uu ulc. ,uu ulu.
Don't attempt It; stay down there
I J"u u,u- ul"B "u
,1.1.1. . I. I. .... - , n 1 . m 1 . 1
..u. iUBJ u.,. ..ui vnu ig,
let them try and keep on trying for
how else can tbey ever And out the
Thero nre somo nleas so mnvlncr thnt
It would take a heart of stone to resist 1
them. Squlro Patterson Is tbo only rep-,
rcsentatlvo of tho law In a New Eng
land town, and I. therefore tbe reclpl-'
ent of constant appeals for the admin-1
tstratlon of Justice not only from hla
... ... . . . '
neighbors, but from many .of tho dwell
era on outlying farms.
One day a widow, known to him as a
shiftless and complaining person, way
laid blm in tho postofllce.
"See here, square," she said, queru
lously, "I want you should say some
thing to Nathan Boggs that's got the
farm next mine. He's told It round that
I don't keep my hens at home, and that
he'll have tho law ou me If I don't, on
account of bis corn. And I want you to
put It plalu to him bow that he ought
to bavo more patience, considering he's
got sons to help hlni and monoy laid by
nnd what'a all; and everything I've got
In this earthly world Is one cow and
thoso bens nnd six bead o' gal children
that can't throw n stono straight!"
When we hear of a mnn performing
a bravo action wo wonder If tho story
Is true; we know of so many cowardly
tricks being dona every day,
Slgnora Eleanors Dase, the great Italian actress, differs from many of her asso
ciates In at least one respect she does not seek publicity. To be sure, her msn
agers, espedslly when she Is on an American tour, use every legitimate effort to
keep her before the public, and D'Annuiiilo's book, which reflected so little credit
upon It author, brought her name Into prominence In a somewhat regretful way,
but tills was not the fault of the actresa. She belongs, In a sense, to the public
when she Is on the stage. Her home life Is her own. It is not the "home" life
of hotels that Slgnora Duse Is happy In, but rather In the home life of her ancient
palace, on the Grand Canal In Venice. Her palace, which la the center building
of the three buildings shown In the picture. Is one of those quaint old structures
which have made Venice an architectural delight. It Is not as pretentious aa
some of Its neighbors, but, nevertheless, through Its great sge and Its architectural
beautiea It Is one of the show places of Venice. When It waa built no one semis
to know. Certain It Is that It goes back a century or more, and that It waa
occupied by one of the noble families of Venice Is established. Here, surrounded
by all the comforts of a practical age, Slgnora Dose spends the happiest mouths
of her life. A quiet life It is, apart from the glare of the footlights and the
tinsel of the stage. She entertains, but on a modest seal. Privileged, Indeed,
are the few who bav access to her delightful bom.
AN IGNOMINIOUS RETREAT.
The DctermlnedWomnn Met Her Match
In Her Prcssmaker
Most persons who attempt to emanci
pate themselves from established cus
tom have periods of falling back Into
tbe old way again, baffled reformers.
The real reformers are tbose who per
sist. Tbe New York Tribune tells a
story In which a woman who thought
' she had conquered was, after all, de
I feated. She considered herself a strong
minded woman, and bad determined
that she would have no more trailing
skirts. She told ber dressmaker of ber
decision In a tone wblcb seemed to ber
not to admit of question or protest;
bat she did not know that tbe dress
I maker, too, was a strong-minded wom
an, though In a different way.
I "Oht" said the dressmaker. In a tone
of mild prcplextty. There was so much
: behind that "Oh!" that tbe woman felt
' moved to assert herself.
I "I will not," she exclaimed, "bring
home a choice assortment of microbes.'
"Hut you needn't get a long skirt
soiled." said the dressmaker. "You
bold It up, you know."
"It Urea mn to hold It nn. I want to
step out freely."
ohr the dressmaker again. It
WBg hcr fttvorte argument, and It was
apt to make her opponent wilt without
know, wh Sbe worked for
that parOcumr woman for geveral
! hnd exercised over hcr a
am but ,nTncloi0 deposIUsm.
,uey are n ,onj... vcntureii
. tbe dressmaker, "except the heavy
"I don't care!" said tho woman. "1
will defy fashion."
This tlmo the dressmaker's "Ob!" Im
plied that to defy fashion was to In
voke death or disgrace. The woman
felt herself weakening before the Inex
orable Judgment of tho "one who
"You're very tall," said tbe dress mak
er, softly, "And slender," she added,
after an effective pause. Her power
lay In tho fact that she never became
excited and never gave way. A vision
. rose before the woman of hcr long,
thin, lanky self, clad girlishly lu a skirt
that escaped the ground, with a pair
of very substantial feet peeping In and
out, like anything rather than "little
mice." But pride camo to ber aid.
"Cut It short!" sbe ordered, sternly,
"I mean," sho added, "cut it about half
an mcll 'above th grounUV
go will cut out and collect
j.. Balll the dressmaker, sadly.
"Lot It!" said tbe desperate woman.
"It's a light material, easily held up."
Tho tono grew, mora iciancholy. as if
thn dresanlaker were flchtlnir with ad
The woman was at bay. "I'll have It
relapsed into slleneo and depression,
When bo skirt was nearly finished sbe
... , wV .,.,
Theclrcularflounce Is only basted on,1
tbo dressmaker said. Anally. "It It
can be let down."
"What's all this length of stuff under
tbo flounce 1" aswed tbo owner of tbe
,"WfleU' 1 dWu',t cut 'f ff'
Tbo fl?u ?f , thouht
"It Innlrs verv utrnli-ht un am
It looks very straight up and down."
"Yes; if you bare It long It will flare
out better. You're so tall and slen
der." "Let It down!" suddenly exclaimed
tbo woman, In the tono of a general
who orders a retreat.
"Very well," said the dressmaker, as
meekly as if sho were assenting to an
act of self-sacrifice.
A Persian Parable.
There was a certain man who thought
tbe world was growing worse. He was
always barking back to "tbe good old
times," and was sure that the human
race was degenerating. Men, bo said,
were all trying to cheat ono another;
tbo strong were crushing tbe weak.
Ono day when bo was airing his pessim
istic views, tbe calif said to blm:
"I charge you hereafter to look care
fully about you, and whenever you sco
any man do a worthy deed go to blm
and give blm praise, or write to blm
about It Whenever you meet a man
whom you regard as worthy to have
lived in tbe 'good old days' tell him of
your esteem and of tbe pleasure you
bavo bad In finding one so exalted, and
I desire that you write out an account
of these good deeds for me that I may
share your Joy In knowing of It"
So tbe man was dismissed; but before
many daya be returned and prostrated
himself before the calif. Wbcn ordered
to explain bis presence, he walled:
"Have pity on thy servant and re
lease blm from tbe necessity of compli
menting men upon their worthy deeds,
O my master. And O Son of Moham
med, I pray thee absolve thy servant
from tbe duty of reporting to tboo all
tbe good that Is going on in tbe world."
"And wby, O slave, dost thou come
to me with this prayer?" tbe calif
"Since I bave been looking for what
is good." the man replied, "I have had
no time to do augbt but compliment
men for their splendid works. So
much that Is glorious is all around mo
that I may not hope to be able to tell
thee half of ft My tasks He neglected
because I bave no time "
"Go back to thy work." said tbe calif.
"I perceive that thou bast learned."
Tom Ileod "Makes" a Reporter.
"Who made you?" "Tom Reed."
Such would be the reply of , a
clever newspaper man who got himself
established In Washington by a unique
process. Tom Reed, when at the height
of his cxarsblp, lived at the Sboreham,
where he held nearly as great court as
In the House. Among newspaper men
existed Intcnso rivalry In the pursuit
of bis favors. One morning he was
huffy. It was "Not a word!" to every
reporter or correspondent and the
group knew he meant it A newcomer,
however, made play for a big stake
and won. While his fellows waited on
the stoop to see the speaker enter bU
carriage, this youth nestled under
Tom's big wing, whispering at the
door of the vehicle: "Mr. Speaker, for
Clod's sake let me get In and ride
around the corner with you! I syear I ,
won't open my mouth. You haven't i
got to notice me at alL If you turn !
me down" he became tragic "It,
would ruin me forever In tbe estima
tion of my colleagues and rivals, but.
turo Is safe." "Get In," said the czar,
appreciating the situation, and the ,
gasps of astonishment from the boys ,
on tbe stoop as tbe desperate reporter,
took his seat Indicated that a new and
important factor In Washington Jour
nalism had arrived. New York Press.
Many persons not "to the manner
born" are embarking on nature study,
to the weariness of their friends. They
sit In parks and fields with opera
glasses, and see birds that never wero
"on sea or land." And sometimes their
bored friends rebel.
In a town where untrained observa-.
Hon rages, says tbo New York Sun, an
elderly lady met an acquaintance In a
shady avenue, and asked ber;
"Do you know anything about birds?" i
"No," said tho other. "I'm sorry, but '
"Sorry! Ob, you're such a relief! I
Just met Mrs. 0., and she grasped my
band, gazed upward, and said, 'Ob, did ,
you uuar iuki yuiivt;iijr ivvuiy ii&u-
bcaked, purple-eyed tickle-bird?'
I hadn't gono a block before I met
Mrs. IC 'Hush!' said she, ecstatically,
'Don't move a muscle! Right up there
on that branch Is ono of those rare, ex
quisite, specklo-wlngcd, ring-tailed
You and I seem to bo the only sano
people. Let us rejoice In chorus."
Clara I am thinking seriously of
bleaching my hair. Would you?
Maude-Well, if I did, I'd certainly
try to keep It dark.
A man's good Intentions would be
worth mora if bo could get them
Don't lessen your chalices of success
by brooding over tbe past
Not long ago n coroner's Jury In Jnv
land delivered the following verdict on
tho sudden death of n merchant who
had recently failed In business: "We,
the Jury, find from tho now doctor's
statement that tho deceased came to
his death from heart failure, superin
duced by business failure, which was
caused by speculation failure, which
was tho result of failure to sea far
A certain learned professor In a Ger
man university has a learned twin
brother, living In the samo town, who
resembles him so closely thnt It Is al
most Impossible to tell them apart A
townsman mooting tho professor on tha
boulevard, stopped him, saying: "Par
don me, but Is It to you or your broth
er that I havo tbo honor of speaking?"
Sir," wns tbe ready reply, "you are
speaking to my brother."
In his "Reminiscences," Frederick
Goodall tells n story of Wellington as
an art connoisseur. Ho paid Wllkla
six hundred guineas for bis "Chelsea
Pensioners," and laboriously counted
out the amount In ensh. When the art
ist suggested that It would bo less trou
blo to write a check, tbe great duba
retorted that he would not let hla bank
ers know "what a d n fool I have
been to spend six hundred guineas for
It is related of an Irish coachman
that his medical adviser prescribed r.nl-
mal food as tbe best means of restor
ing health and activity. "Patrick,"
said he, "you're run down a b'.t, that's
all. What you need Is animal food."
Remembering bis cose a few days af
terword, ho called upon Pat at tho sta
ble. "Well. Pat" aald he, "how nro
you getting on with the treatment?"
Oh, shure, sir," Pat replied, "01 man
age all right with tbe grain and oats.
but It's mighty bard with tho chopped
Howard Paul says that on one occa
sion William J. Florence, at tbe end
of a not very prosperous engagement
hi San Francisco, announced a benefit
for himself and bis wife. Tbe late
John W. Mackay happened to be la
town at tbe time, and wrote to Flor
ence for one orchestra seat It was
duly sent as a matter of course, nnd
Mrs. Florence remarked to her hus
band that considering tbe friendship
existing between the two men, she
thonght Mr. Mackay might have taken
a private box at least "Walt" aald
Florence, "be has not paid yet and I
am In no hurry." The benefit took
place, Mr. Mackay came from Virginia
City to occupy the scat he had taken,
and a day biter be sent Florence a
check for $1,000.
Upon bis return from Europe, a fort
night ago. Senator Chauncey Depew
told the New York reporter that tbo
rumor that he was suffering from a
severe case of Indigestion In Paris was
Incorrect. "I was troubled," he said,
"with rheumatism, and I may add that
I found a permanent cure for it and I
mess, for the sake of suffering human-
jlty, I ought to tell you what the cure
lis. It Is Just a daily bout with elec
tric batteries. In two weeks time I
was well, and now I never feel a
twinge of tbe trouble that led me to
take the treatment It's great It's
true that after I got well I found out
that the wires of the batteries had been
disconnected all tbe time I was having
my fun with them, but that is only a
little Incident I was cured, and now
I am not disposed to fall out with tbo
method, for a mere oversight like that"
Not a Itecont DeTOlopmont.
Talking of the personal Journalism
now In vogue, the author of "An On
looker's Note Book" declares It to be
nothing new, and quotes this para
graph on the Duke of Wellington
which travesties the prevailing passion
for minute details with regard to tbo
private life of distinguished Individuals
at the beginning of tbe nineteenth cen
tury: "Tho duke generally rises at
about 8. Before be gets out of bed, be
commonly pulls off bis nightcap; and
while be Is dressing, he sometimes
whistles a tune and occasionally damns
his valet The duke uses warm water
In shaving, and lays on a greater quan
tity of lather than ordinary men. While
shaving, he chiefly breathes through
his nose with a view, as Is conceived,
of keeping the suds out of bis mouth.
The duko drinks tea for breakfast,
which he sweetens with wblto sugar
and corrects with cream. IIo cats toast
and butter, cold bam, beef or eggs; the
eggs are generally those of tho com
mon domestic fowl. At 1.1 o'clock. It
the weather is flue, the dnko's horso Is
brought to tbe door. Tbe duke's horso
on these occasions Is always saddled
and bridled. The duke's daily manner
of mounting bis horse is the same that
It was on tbe morning of the glorious
"batUo of Waterloo."
There lives In a Massachusetts town
a young woman whose courtesy never
deserts her, even ln'tbo most trying mo
menta. Not long ago sho stood swaying
back and forth, holding to a strap In a
crowded electric car on a rainy day.
A young man who Btood next her had
a dripping umbrella with which he em
phasized his remarks to a friend. As ho
pounded It down on tbe floor of tho car
an expression of anxiety gradually
deepened on the young woman's face,
and at last when tho umbrella had be
come quiet for a moment, she spoke.
"I beg your pardou," she sald,( in a
clear, calm tone. "I am sorry to trouble
you, but could you kindly change your
umbrella to my other foot for a moment
so that I may empty tho water out of
my rubber shoe In which the umbrella
Is now fastened?"
Tbeu Modern I'luts.
Mrs. Justwed (houso buntlug)-0hl
Charlie, hero's tbe loveliest llttlo linen
Janitor (Interrupting) Dnt ain't no
linen closet; dat'a do dining room.
Someone Is always hunting up tbe
neglected grave of somo great man,
and then calling upon the peoplo to be
Indignant. This Is the hardest kind at
an indignation to dig up. Tbero are
too many people who are neglect
while tbey are living.