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About The Siuslaw news. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1960-current | View Entire Issue (Jan. 28, 2017)
10 A SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ SATURDAY, JANUARY 28, 2017 For flu sufferers, things are about to get messy Ned Hickson Today, in an unprecedented move, I am joining hundreds of other columnists around the nation who will be addressing the nationwide flu crisis while simultaneously wiping “Influenza blowback” from their computer monitors. For those unfamiliar with this term, here’s how it might be used on an episode of CSI: “Well, judging from the chew marks on this Robitussin safety cap, and the presence of oozing and gelati- nous Influenza blowback on his computer monitor, I’d say our suspect has the flu. [Cut to lightning-quick journey through mucus-filled nasal cavity]. Chances are, he’s still in the area. He might even be in this very room.” “Ahhh-CHOO!” “You should probably get a tissue for that...” While national attention remains on flu vaccinations, health department officials say, as a result of the flu cri- sis, we are now facing what was once unthinkable. “The nation’s supply of facial tissue has become dan- gerously low,” warned Dr. Julie Gerberding, head of the federal Centers for Disease Control in Atlanta. “If we’re not careful, many Americans will be left using standard bathroom tissue during the peak of flu season.” According to health offi- cials, the tissue crisis is linked to Chinese regulators who unexpectedly shut down tissue manufacturer Bung Corp. last Tuesday, after it was discovered that millions of boxes bound for the U.S. had been printed without the necessary safety instructions required by the Consumer Products Safety Commission. Leonard Woodcock, the current nominee for America’s ambassador to China, immediately flew to the factory to demonstrate, before a panel of regulators, that he was capable of using the instructionless tissue with- out injury. In spite of multiple demonstrations, including one in which Woodcock was bound by Chinese finger cuffs and forced to blow his nose without while blindfolded, Chinese regulators remained unconvinced. As a result, 43 million boxes of tissue once bound for the U.S. has instead been shipped to France where, according to one French offi- cial, “We need more tissue than Americans because we have bidets.” Faced with the impending shortage, the CDC introduced a nationwide “voluntary rationing” system yesterday to ensure that supplies of tis- sue would meet the needs of high-risk users in the months ahead. “The bottom line is, don’t blow your nose until absolutely necessary,” advised Dr. Gerberding. “This is a time of crisis. I think, as Americans, we should all be willing to overlook a few snot bubbles.” As a responsible member of the media, I plan to do my part by blowing my nose as little as possible until this cri- sis passes. For those of you planning to attend any of my speaking engagements in the near future, let me apologize in advance to anyone seated in the front row. Ned is a syndicated columnist with News Media Corporation. Write to him at nedhickson@ icloud.com views is vital for future genera- tions to understand what makes up a life. Gathering and pre- senting a life story, either your own or that of a loved one, can be a tricky process. What ques- tions do you ask? What topics do you cover? How do you edit it, package it and present it? All of these will be covered in the class.” While the class will cover simple technologies that can be used to capture and edit audio and video interviews, Anderson said prior experience with technology or recording equipment is not necessary. “We’ll explore ways that stu- dents can capture meaningful stories with what they have — a recorder on their phone, a voice recorder or even a tape deck recorder,” Anderson said, “The majority of the class will focus on the art of the inter- view: the ethics surrounding it, the pitfalls, but most important- ly, how to get a good one.” Part of the class will also explore what constitutes per- sonal and family histories and help students look past a pho- tograph to connect memories to them and create a story. “Recording history isn’t just about making a record for future generations. It’s about proving to yourself and others that you actually existed in this world, and having the opportunity to say, clearly, what you truly believe,” Anderson said. The class is a new addition to the Continuing Education program and students are encouraged to register early. Anderson currently teaches cinema studies classes for the program and has a reputation among students as an interac- tive and engaging instructor. This course will help students chronicle what matters to them.” For more information or to register for this class, visit lanecc.edu/ce or call 541-997- 8444. Mayor Henry to speak at next City Club meeting On Feb. 3, the City Club of Florence will hold its regular meeting, with Florence Major Joe Henry giving a city update titled: “ The Year in Review and the Year to Come.” Mayor Henry will discuss the accomplishments of the City of Florence over the last year and what is next for 2017. Henry was recently sworn in for his second term as Mayor of the City of Florence. During his first term in office, he was able to lead the city in building a foundation for a change in leadership and culture, allowing Florence to form a ‘can-do’ attitude that has permeated through the organization. The talk will discuss how these changes came about, and what is next in keeping the City moving forward. City Club meets at the Ocean Dunes Golf Links Club House, off Munsel Lake Road. Lunch orders are taken after 11 a.m. and served from 11:30 to noon. The program will be from noon to 1 p.m. with a short period for questions at the end. Siuslaw Riverside Restaurant to hold benefit spelling bee Siuslaw Riverside Rest- aurant will hold another in its series of fund raisers for local charities on Feb. 3. Siuslaw Riverside is located at 1340 Bay St. in Historic Old Town Florence. The restaurant will be charging $10 for con- testants to enter a spelling bee that begins at 6 p.m. The winner of the spelling bee will receive a $25 gift cer- tificate to the restaurant. For more information, contact Melonie at 541-991- 3663. Deadlines for press releases and news items are Mondays and Thursdays at noon. pressreleases@thesiuslawnews.com ...need a friend? Meet Tessa Hi, I’m Tessa. I’m a beautiful tabby with a stunning, almost hypnotic, marble pattern. I’m adventurous and playful, friendly and affectionate. And did I mention beautiful? I can entertain myself, but I really like it when I have all of your attention If you would like to meet Tessa or any of her friends, please visit us at: OREGON COAST HUMANE SOCIETY 2840 Rhododendron Drive • Florence • 541-997-4277 www.oregoncoasthumane.org This message brought to you by: FLORENCE PHARMACY 2935 Hwy. 101, Florence 541-902-9966 The Central Oregon Coast British Car Club will be holding its first monthly club meeting for 2017 on Saturday, Jan. 28, at the Driftwood Shores Resort in Florence. The meeting will include conducting board elections CRUISE Lane Community College Florence Center will offer a new five-week course on pre- serving family and friends’ per- sonal histories starting Feb. 15. The Continuing Education course, “Capturing History: How to Create Oral and Video Histories,” is taught by Jared Anderson, and will meet from 6 p.m. to 8 p.m. Feb. 15 to March 15 at LCC Florence Center. “The core of the class will be teaching students the impor- tance of and the techniques of gathering oral and video histo- ries,” Anderson said, “From a genealogical standpoint, hav- ing professional quality inter- for 2017. The club will meet in the conference room next to the swimming pool, beginning at 10 a.m. Anyone who owns, drives or has an interest in British automobiles is welcome to attend. WHAT IF THE EARTH HAS MORE THAN 4 CORNERS? Timothy Hill, St. Kitts STOP WONDERING. START WANDERING. Seek out the meaning of unspoiled in Dominica’s rainforest. Discover why flamingoes are pink in Bonaire. And explore more between each shore on the cruise line voted Best Overall 14 years running. This is not the Caribbean — this is the Royal Caribbean. ® Hurry…offer expires January 31, 2017 www.TheSiuslawNews.com 800-853-0909 CYAN MAGENTA YELLOW BLACK LCC to offer new class on saving family histories British Car enthusiasts to meet today
