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About The Siuslaw news. (Florence, Lane County, Or.) 1960-current | View Entire Issue (Sept. 7, 2016)
SIUSLAW NEWS ❚ WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 7, 2016 7 A I’d even be willing to settle for a wallaby As I watched three babies Ned snuggle together in a blan- Hickson ket and play with each I generally only watch nature shows on television when I want to appear as though I’m educating myself about something important, like the plight of the prema- turely balding Rogainian monkey, when in fact I’m actually planning to do an independent study of the REM sleeping pattern on our couch. However, while watching a documentary about the Kangaroo Sanctuary in Alice Springs, Australia, I discov- ered something I never knew: I want my own kangaroo. other’s big floppy ears, I inadvertently let out a sound that my wife mistakenly thought was a joyful whim- per. “Was that you?” she asked from the dining room. “What? No WAY! Ha Ha! It was the kangaroo babies.” “It sure sounded like it came from the couch.” “Must be the Surround Sound,” I said. Don’t get me wrong. I love our two dogs. And we have a cat. But you can’t have fun boxing with your dog or keep snacks in its handy built-in pouch. And kangaroos even bury their own poop! Sure, our cat will do that, but it’s usu- ally in one of my shoes. The more I watched Chris Barnes, a.k.a. “Kangaroo Dundee,” spend time with the kangaroos in his sanctu- ary, the more I thought to myself: That could be me. Of course, I’d first have to justify having a kangaroo in our home. This would mean convincing my wife of the benefits. It doesn’t mat- ter what our teenagers think because, in a few years, they’ll be gone, leaving their mother and I to nurture our loving, unmoody kangaroo baby. In fact, I’m going to list that as benefit number one! Having a kangaroo will fill the void left behind by our children! Sure, this won’t include filling the void of dirty dish- es left in the sink, wet tow- els on the floor and no food in the refrigerator, but thanks to the love of our kangaroo baby we'll adjust. Another benefit is that kangaroos are very protec- tive of family. While it’s true that dogs are just as protective, there’s no com- paring it to the threat posed by a 6-foot-tall kangaroo boxing your face and then rabbit-kicking a would-be burglar through a window. Kangaroos are also very quiet. They don’t bark when they’re mad or whine when they want something. Come to think of it, that’s another void our kangaroo won’t be able to fill once our teenagers leave home. Still, I’m going to list it as a benefit since it means our home won’t sound like a den of wild hyenas every time someone delivers a pizza. Another benefit of having a kangaroo is that they aren’t very good at climbing stairs. Given that our bed- DENTURE SERVICES INC. Here to serve your denture needs: See Jim for your auto sales needs! Dentures Immediate Dentures Implant Dentures Relines and Repairs William Foster LD Sherry, Offi ce Manager FREE CONSULTATIONS Monday-Thursday 10am - 2 pm Relines and Repairs Same Day Or by special appointment Financing: Citi Health Card 12 Month no Interest 2150 Hwy. 101 • Florence (541) 997-3475 • 1-800-348-3475 524 Laurel St. 541-997-6054 WHY YOU SHOULD VOTE SERIES | IMPROVEMENTS It Changes Communities T he presidential election isn’t the only one you should be fired up to influence at the ballot box. In fact, your local representatives, mayors and council members have more day-to-day impact on your life than the president. Local elected officials make decisions on policies that directly affect your taxes, home value and professional life. THE KIDS Children cannot vote, but our community’s laws and policies still impact them, especially when it comes to education. Our children are depending on us to represent their voices at the voting booth, and we must work to make sure we don’t let them down. And speaking of children, one of the best ways to ensure a bright horizon for our democracy is instilling a voter’s mindset at an early age. Talk to your children or students about why voting is so important to America and how it can impact things that are important to them – like school, playgrounds and public parks. the most important aspects of your life that can be influenced by your local officials. When you vote you are telling elected officials how you feel about these issues. Your vote can influence decisions on funding for schools or THE IMPACT roads that you or family members Your local representatives fight hard may use every day. for your personal rights at the highest LOCAL CREDIBILITY levels. Wages, pay equity, fairness in Citizens who vote hold more hiring, pension security, taxes and credibility over their non-voting health insurance issues are a few of counterparts when talking about room is on the second floor, we’ll never have an intimate moment interrupted because our kangaroo is staring at us from the foot of the bed, licking itself or barking to get in. It also means I won’t get squeezed out of bed in the middle of the night because, at some point, our kangaroo has wedged himself between me and the headboard. Without question, the biggest obstacle in convinc- ing my wife to get a kanga- roo will be how big it could get. Though it takes a few years before they reach adulthood, once they do, it can be like living with another full-sized person. With a four-foot tail. This has already got me thinking about an alterna- tive; something kangaroo- like that my wife would be willing to compromise on. As it turns out, wallabies are members of the kangaroo family and much smaller. Naturally, the smaller size would mean little “Wally’s” pouches won’t be able to hold as many of my favorite snack foods. Plus, he proba- bly won’t be able to fend off an intruder more than three feet tall. But he’ll be a “starter” kangaroo while I lay the groundwork for a full-sized kangaroo later. I plan to talk with my wife about it tonight, right after I show her this photo of a wallaby holding a teddy bear *joyful whimper* Hey! That wasn’t me! I really need to turn down that Surround Sound... Ned is a syndicated colum- nist with News Media Corporation. His book, “Humor at the Speed of Life,” is available online at Port Hole Publications, Amazon Books and Barnes & Noble. Write to him at nedhickson@icloud.com. Berlin Wall art photos on exhibit at library This year marks the 55th year since the Berlin Wall was built in August 1961 and the “cold war” entered a new dimension. The photographs of the Berlin Wall art taken by Birgitt Lyon during the summer of 1991 while visiting berlin, are currently on display at the Siuslaw Public Library. The unification of East and West Germany had become official 10 months earlier in October 1990. Lyon’s 26 photos show paintings done by an interna- tional group of artists on a rem- nant of the Berlin Wall left standing in the former DDR (east Berlin) after the Wall came down. Several of the artists who had lived under that commu- nist regime freely expressed their feelings through paintings — art which had been heavily censored in communist East Germany. Until the wall came down, only state-approved paintings depicting their “happy” life were allowed. The paintings express the anguish of having lived under that oppression and then the joy of finally having been set free. The exhibit will remain on display through Sept. 30. Shorewood features cars, Elvis and root beer floats The annual Shorewood Car Show will be held Friday, Sept. 23, at The Shorewood, 1451 Spruce St., in Florence, from 10 a.m. to noon. This year, Shorewood Senior Living is adding some flair to the annual car show, with Elvis on stage. The public is invited to come enjoy finger foods and refreshments while taking in the beauty of the vin- tage vehicles. At 11 a.m., Elvis will take the stage to put on a hip-shak- ing good time. To bring the whole show to a close, enjoy a refreshing root beer float. For more information, con- tact Belinda Shores at 541- 997-8202. HABITAT BeachWalk 2016 Saturday, Sept. 10th, 9am-1pm issues in their communities. Around the water cooler at work or in the bleachers at the high school football game, politics are likely to pop into the conversation. When you place your vote, your voice becomes more powerful and justified to publicly convey your feelings on specific issues. Whether you agree or disagree with a certain policy or legislative item, your thoughts will be considered more vital in the political arena if you vote. Be at North Jetty and walk to Driftwood Shores, have a ton of fun, and help a family build an affordable home. ENTERTAINMENT and REFRESHMENTS at Driftwood Shores This Habitat BeachWalk announcement is sponsored by: Siuslaw News US Too Group
