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About Oregon City enterprise. (Oregon City, Or.) 1871-188? | View Entire Issue (April 16, 1875)
w r J - vit. - - ' ? t.t o o DEVOTED TO POLITICS, NEWS, LITERATURE, AND THE BEST INTERESTS OF OREGON. O VOL. 9. OREGON CITY, OREGON,; FRIDAY, APRIL 16, 1875. NO. 25. m 1 inffrw W lEb wily 'lx4y:j yJ ty ly tl IP o 7 THE ENTERPRISE. A LOCAL DEMOCRATIC NEWSPAPER FOR T 11 15 Piroer, Bnjimss San, & Family Circle. UCKD "ETBRY FRIDAT. '- XDITOR AND PUBLISHER. OFFICIAL PAPER FOR CLACKAMAS CO. OFFICE In E5TEEPRISE Building, one 4r outa or Masonic Building, Main fat. Terms of SJolcrIptlon I SIbkI Copy .Una Year, In Advance......$2.50 Six Montl " " I-50 Ttrui of Advertising TrMlent advertisements, including 1 .. . , .nn.ra of twelve ail lee" uuvivco, - $ 50 lines one week .. Tor each subsequent Insertion- i. w Oae Column, one year "Y- Half ;; ; - - tf.ViS:. "cm. i snuioiieyeav:::: l 120.00 00 00 00 " SOCIETY NOTICES. OREGON I.OIGIi XO. 3, I. I Ueets every Thursday >. reuingat 7 S o'clock, in the IS Odd Fellow' Hall. Main -jisS-tre-it. Members of Tho Or der are invited to attend. J5y order kbbkcca ni:c;ui:i: i.oic;b no. S. I. O. O. F..THeeU on tlic Second and 'ourth Tut- -j : . - ..I. m.itit i at 7 Si o clock, in tne uaa rllowa IU11. Member of tho Degree are invited lo attend. MULTNOMAH LODCJi XO. I, A. I. t a. M.j IIol.lits regular com- a muiiicatioiis n the First and Tnird .Saturdays in each month, 7 at 7 o'clock from thcA)th of Sep. teinbur to the IXHh of March; and 7 'clck from the -Uth of March to the SOth of September. Urethron in j?ood tauJin; are invited to attend. iJy order of W. M. T'AI.LS KSCAMI'JIHVI' XO. 1,1. o. O. K., M-cts at Odd Fell own q Mall on the First and Third Tims Uv of each month. I'atriarulis r in c ad utaudin; are invit'jd to attend. CMJ-"!' i:XtLAMP.Mi;XT no. -z, c. . C. Men afJd Fellows' Hall, In Or.; ra t'itv. orfril 0:1 Monday overling, at 7 Vio-tc. M -: itr-i 01 tin- iirder nre in- t Attend M. C. AT11KV, C. J. ,d. 3fj.N', II. S. ina-7Iy n l' S I ,V K S .V t A Ii J) s. J. V. XOltlilS, M. U., favsiaiN anij sniCJKON', oiiu a o -v c a' r, o n a a o v. rofllee l.'j-:-5tair In Cliarman's Brick, Men Street. uullti. W. Y. 310 HE LAND, ATTORN EY-AT-LAW; OREUU.v CI TV, OKKGO.V. OXCICE Main Htreet, oipoite I lie Cwart Mou. ''S.HUELAT' ATTORN EY-AT-LAW: CITY, - - OREGON. sST-OFFieO rhaminn's brick. Main st. 5tuarlS7'i AX. . JOMNSO&McCOVN anAcounselors at-law. Oregon -ty, Oregon. "Will practice in all the Courts of tho State. Special attention given to cases in lb U. S. Und (ifT.oe at Oregon City. 5i prl."S2-tf. Xi. T. 33ARIN ATTORNEY-AT-LAW, OREGON CI'J : : OREGON. OFFICE Orer pe's Tin Store, Main treet. Dr. S. BARKER, T ATE OF I'OUTLAMD, OFFERS IHS serrlces as I'liywcian and surgeon 10 id people or Clackf-mas county, wno may At any time be in need of a physician. 1I has opened an oraee at Ward A Harding's I'rug Store where ho can b found at all tun - of the day when not engaged in pro fessional calls. Hesidence, Main Street, next door but one above U. Caulleld's store. October , 1871. tf JOHN 31. DAC0X, lMlDHTEU AND lEAIU In IVxiks. stationery. lVrfum- ry. etc.. etc. Oregon City, Oregon. "At Charman A Warner's old stand, itely occupied by S. Ackcman, Main st. OREGON CITY BREWERY. 1 Henry Humbel, 1 TAVI.VU PrRCTA8- -- 1 no above Hii-w- r ery wishes to inform he public that he is racture a No. 1 qual- R Ii H Ii, "w prepared to lna uy of L.AGJB I as good as can bo Lind anywhere In I.? ta,e- Orders s' nteti ana promptly OYSTER SALOON a x r HESTAQRAMT ! LOUIS SAAL, Proprietor. Main .'Street, - - - - Oregon City. rp-sTErtS WIXT, BE SERVED FROM Jnt,er.,n,sdale during the Winter aason. The best qualities of FUEXCH and AMERICAN CANDIES. Ie-s for sxlc in aua-:tities to suit.' mm A Representative and Champion of Amer ican Art Taste! . Prospectus for 1875 Eighth IW. TIIE .VLDIM, THE ART JOURNAL OF AMERICA, Issued Monthly. "A Magnifloent Conception, Wonderfully carried out." The necessity of a popular medium for the representation of the productions of our great artists, has always been recog nized, and many attempts have been made to meet the -want. The successive failures which so invariable followed each attempt in this country to establish an art journal, did not prove the indifference of the American people to the claims of high art. So soon as a proper appreciation of the want and an ability to meet it were shown, the public at once railed with en thusiasm to its support, and the result was a great artistic and commercial triumph TJIR AL.DINK. THE ALDIXE, while issued with all the regularity, has none of the temporary or timely interest characteristic of ordinary periodicals. It is an elegant miscellany of pure, light, and graceful literature; and a collection of pictures, the rarest specimens of artistic skill, in black and white. Al though each succeeding number atrords a fresh pleasure to'its friends, the real value and beauty of TheAUline will be most ap preciated after if is bound up at the close of the year. While other publications may claim superior cheapness, as compar ed with rivals of a similar class, The Aldine is an unique and original conception alone and unapproached absolutely with out competition in price or character. The possessor of a complete volume could not duplicate the quantity of fine paper and engravings in aUV Ot her shnne or number of volumes for ten times Its cost ; and then ther' is the cliromo besides! PlilCMITJM KOR 1875. Every e.ubscrl'er for 1875 will receive a beautiful portrait, iri oil colors, of the same noble dog whoso picture in a former issue attracted so much ottentisn. Mian's. Unselfish Friend'' will be welcome in every home. Every body loves such a dog, and the portrait is executed so true to the life, that it seems the veritable presence of the animal itself. The Rev. T. l e Wit Talmage tells that his own Xew Foundland dog (the finest in Brooklyn) barks nt it! and though so nat ural, no one who sees this premium ehro 1110 will have the slightest fear of being bitten. Besides the chromo, every advance sub scriber to The AMine for 1675 is constituted a member, and entitled to all the privil- e'S THE ALDINE ART UNION. The Ilulon owns the originals of all the AMine pictures, which, with other paint ings arid engravings, are to be distributed among the members. To every series of 5,000 subscribers, loo different pieces, valu ed at .over $-',500, are to be distributed as soon as the series is full, and the awards of each series as made, are to be published in the next succeeding issue of The. Aldinc. This feature applies only to subscribers who pay ior one year in advance. 1'ull particulars in circular sent on application enclosing a stamp. TKRMS. Our .Subscription, entitling to Till- ALUIN'K one year, tlie Cliromo untl tt Art Union, $ per Annum, in Advance. (No charge lor postage.) Specimen copies of THE ALDIXE, 50c. CANVASSERS WANTED. Any person wishing to act permanently as a local canvasser will receive full and promt information by applying to TILE ALDINE COMPANY, S8 M.VIDUX LAXB, NEW YOK . LOTHIW B (3 () T 8 A X D S I now offer this stock of Goods; G () () S c I G A J S H A T S C A P S at Prices far below any other 1 house in the State. I I Times are hard and money scarce and I will give every one! the worth of their money. j I also keep a full assortment of 1 OREGON CITY MADE i Men and Boys' Olotlilittr, I'lKld'Honr, X-,J ii el, Ulan Wet , And Yarns. ...ALSO Groceries, Cutlery, Jewelry, Notion, Muftirnl Instruments, Toy, Etc, AT THE Lowest Prices For CASH. AT A.LEVTS. octietf 1 H () E 8 T X) B A C c o s OREGON STEAMSHIP GO.'S STEAMBOAT NOTICE! Str E. US'. COOKE. Will leave OREGOX CITY for PORTT.A VFI everv day Except Sunday, at 7J4 o'clock, M. Returning, will leave Fortland for Oregon City at 2 o'clock, P. M. Sir, ALICE, Will leave OREGON CITY forCORVATXIS every Monday and Thursday of each week. Str. DAYTON, Will leave OREGOX CITY for McMIX VIIXE, LAFAYETTE and DaYTOX, and all points between, every Monday, Wed nesday and Friday of each week. Leaves the Basin at 8 o'clock, a. si., and connect with the train at Canemah nt 9, A. x. . Stx ALI 5 AiSTY, Leaves OREGOX CITY for HARRISBURG and EUGEXE and all intermediate points every week. Sti Eaimie JPattoxi, Leaves OREGOX CITY for ALBANY and all intermediate points between twico'ev ery week. J. D. RILES, Agent, Oregon City.February, 141. 874. 331. JOHN WELCH DENTIST, OFFICE IX OREGON CITV, OREGON. IIirhest fash Price Paid for County Orders. FOR SALE. THE UXDERSIONEP OFFERS HIS premises, in Oswego, for sale at a bar gain, for cash. -There -is a fine dwelling and out buildings, orchard and about three acres of land. Finely situated for board ing house for the bands employed tn the Imp Works. J.-W. CAIXE. uswego, sert. l", ; v'V Irish Bulls and Blunders. Doctoi R. Shelton Mackenzie con tributes to the Saturday UTtgJd some amusing anecdotes about our Irish friends, as follows: - Many examples of this genius might be adduced. One rather notable one was where a dashing young gentle man, starting on a bridal tour, and wishing to avoid the observation to which newly wedded people are sub jected, spoke to his confidential man servant in these words: . ' -"I am going to take you with me-, to wait upon us aid look after the baggage. My wife's maid is to re main at home, because she is apt to chatter, and wo do not want people at hotels to know that we are just married. I rely upon you, Patrick, not to say anything about it." Pat promised with great volubility to "keep his tongue within his cheek." as he elegantly expressed it, and the party started on the bridal trip, re maining that evening in one of the principal hotels of the city, which was marked on their programme as the best stopping pjace. Next morning the bridegroom did not exactly admire the rather hostile looks that were cast at him from var ious persons, while there was evident pity and even symjjathy in the man ner in which the young lady was re garded. In, paying his bill, the hotel cash ier was all but civil. During the journey, the bridegroom and bride compared notes, agreeing that there was something very peculiar and un accountable in the manner in which they had been looked at and treated Ci the hotel. The lady ventured to suggest that perhaps Patrick had been indiscreet in his conversation with the waiters and hotel servants. The gentleman thought that could hardly be, after the strong injunctions ho had given him to hold her tongue. At last, at their next stopping place, Patrick was sent for and ques tioned: "Did you notice anything extra ordinary in the way in which we were spoken of and treated at the hotel, last night or this morning?" lie had not noticed it. "Are you sure that you did not go chattering about us? Did I not warn you that I did not wish it to be known that ours was a bridal party?" To this came the clenching reply: "Sure, sir, and I held my tongue, as I was desired. At the servants' table last night, one of the girls of the house said ye were a handsome couple, and she dared say were only just married; and on that, remem bering what you had tould me, I up and said she was mighty mistaken, for ye two weren't to be married for a fortnight to come!" This, which accounted for the'pe culiar looks at the hotel, was a blun der, but not a bull. It was as much a mistake as Ilandy Andy has ever made. It was neither wit nor a bull when an Irishman asking for a letter at the post office, was asked, "What name?" pettishly replied: "Sure you'll find it written on the letther." It was neither a bull nor blunder, but keen wit, when a person asked about a discharged servant's capacity said : "She's so fond of her work that sho would like all the time to lie down and sleep by it!" .. This last is far-fetched. An Irish j bull is a correct idea incorrectly statea. tue tnougnt itself, however expressed, is always intelligible. For example, two Irishmen, meeting af ter a long separation, made inquiries alter out acquaintances. "How is Tom Murphy?" was asked The response was: "Mighty bad. lie has been laid up -with sickness for some weeks, and is so reduced that you d scarcely know him. You're thin, and lam thin, but he is thinner than both of us put together! Pat meant to say that the sick man was thinner than either of them, but, in the thoughtlessness of haste, he saiu thinner than both. A thorough bull, too, is to be found in the anecdote of the Irishman who, having picked up a golden guinea in tne street, took it to a money-changer, who; finding it under weight, gave him eighteen instead of twenty -one shillings for it. Next day, on the same street, he saw another guinea which he did not pick up, but passed on, saving: "I'll have nothing to do with you! x lost xnree snimngs oy one ii&e you yesterday." Another good specimen 13 Sir Boyle Roche's declaration, in the Irish parliament that the progress of civilization might be judged from the fact that "little children, who can neither walk nor talk, may be seen running about the streets, curs ing tLeir Maker!" . . There are bulls of action as well as of speech. In one of Hogarth's en gravings is a man sitting on the out side part of the branch of a tree growing over a river, which was saw ing off, apparently not aware that, when his work was done, he must fall in the water below. Still better is the story of an Irish bricklayer wha.laid a wager of a pot of porter that a countryman of his. also in the building line, would not safely convey him, seated m a hod and carried on the shoulder, to the third story of a new house. This was done, and the man was safely delivered at the top of the house as agreed upon. Throwing down a shil ling, he exclaimed; -There! I've lost my wager; but when we were up as high as the sec ond story, and your foot made a lit tle slip on the round of the ladder, bedad I began to have great hopes!" that is, of winning the wager, and probably breaking bis neck by a fall on the ground below. .. - 1 COURTESY New Hampshire as it is. ; a From the San Francisco Examiner. The complete returns for Governor of the Granite State are as follows: Cheney (Radical), 39,285; Roberts (Democrat), 39,163; White, (Prohi bitionist), 754. Cheney, therefore, has a majority over Roberts of 122, but lacks C32 votes of a majority over both opposing candidates. Mr. Cheney owes his majority over Judge Roberts to the Prohibitionists who were originally members of the Radical party. Tjastyar-they poll ed 2,100 votes'. - Had they remained steadfast' this year Mr. Cheney would have been behind Judge Rob erts 1,221 votes. The same action would have given the Legislature to the Democrats by about the majority they had last year. The change on the gubernatorial and legislative vote, therefore was wrought by a return of a portion of the Prohibi tionists to their first love. They were largely iniluenced, as we have before said, by local dissatisfaction, growing out of certain action by the late Democratic Legislature. On local issues, therefore, it is proper to concede that the Democrats came out second best in the election. On national issues a practical de cision upon which could only be readied in voting for Congressmen the- Democrats carried the State. The following was the official vote in the three districts for representative in the Forty-fourth Congress: Dist. Dem. Rad. Pro. First ....14,004 13,G19 326 Second 13,0S3 12,936 202 Third 12,181 12,388 1U3 Totals 39,268 38,943 691 Dem. vote over Rad. vote 325 Two years ago, when Congress men were elected, the Radical aggregate vote was larger than that of. the Democrats, and there were two Radicals to one Democratic Con gressmen chosen. This year the ra tio has been reversed a Democratic gain of one. The most agreeable feature of the returns to Democrats, however, is the large increase in the aggregate Democratic vote. The Democratic vote this year was the largest ever polled in the State. The following table shows the total vote east by parties iu New Hampshire during the past ten years. No vote previous to the earliest recorded in this table was equal to that for Governor in 1SC8, so that it is unnecessary to go further back to illustrate this point: Dt'm. Jtep. Jfrt i. 1SG5 Gov -J.S.017 :JI,H" ti.l-is R 180ti Gov :10,4S 1 ;15,i:;7 4 ( It IS07 Gov :(2,Kil 35,N0U 3,lltiR l.StM Gov o7,JW 3!t,7S5 :',5:':l It l.SiiS I 'res ...."l,-'-,. nil ti,'ii;7 U lSU'J Gov :J,tX4 o7,777 3,773 R Ij. It-f. Ton 11. 1870 Gov..:..25,023 31)12 7,309 1,107 J. 353 It IS" I Gov 31,ti'.!) 33,S!tt 7S2 351 X07 1 1872 Gov. ...30,54 38,75:" 541 478 1,149 R 1872 Pres ...31,525 37,108 2O0 5,413 11 IAh. 1 873 Gov 32,01(5 31,023 087 1.078 22S It 1874 Gov 35,008 34,11.!, 2,100 1,405 1 1 1875 Gov 311,103 otVS-i 751 122 R "Plurality. Ry looking through the first col umn in this table the reader will observe that the largest Democratic vote polled previous to this year was that for Governor in 1868, which was 37,262. The Democratic vote this year was 39,163 an increase of 1,901. The largest previous Radical vote was polled for Governor in 1868, which was 39,785. Tho Radical vote this year was 39,285, and 500 less. In other words, the Democrats have done better their previous best by nearly 2,000, while tho Radicals have failed to do as well as their previous pest, oy ouu. Which horse is mak ing the better time for the Presiden tial goal of 1876? To sum up. The Radicals are ahead on the gubernatorial vote by 122, and have a majority of 7 in the lower House of the Legislature, and the Democrats are ahead on the Con gressional vote by 325, they tie in the Senate, have a majority of tho Congressmen, being a gain of one, and they improved upon their best efforts in the past by nearly 2.000 votes. If, upon the whole, remarks the New York World, this is not a Democratic victory, it is very nearly like one. . j i PlNCHBACK IN War PAINT. So there is no way out of this dilemma. Pinchback has been offered the New Orleans Post-office, but he has scorn fully rejected it. He i3 very defiant, and threatens all sorts of things in the event of his rejection. Ho wish es to be a senator or, if the Republi can majority is to chicken-hearted to do its duty then he will be satis fied with nothing less than the Sec retaryship of the- Senate. 'Let them turn out that Pacific Coast lobbyist, Gorham," says Pinch, "and elect me and I will cry quits. If they dont then it is war to the knife, and the knife to the hilt. They would gain two ends" says Pinch, "by this com promise. The Senate would have a man for Secretary who is rich enough to be above temptation, and who would administer the office honestly, which has not been done for many years, and the negro vote of the South would be preserved intact to the Republican party. They have my terms," said Pinch to your cor respondent to-day. "and thev can do as they please." Changed His HnntsE. The slim man who risrl to nlmlk his head and attend masquerades as a billiard-cue, or braid his legs and attend as a rid ing whip, now slips a rubber tip over his cranium and goes as a lead pencil. Grant does for a living. Why, didn't t m . TT .'.let ue marry one 01 ine uwuuio b1;1-31 He's an honorary member of society merely.' - ; To many the path of life is nearly all tunnels. ' OF BANCROFT LIBRARY, Testing That Law. Chicago People Vill Not lat With Negroes. tChicago Tribune, March 11th. The colored people, or certain of them, seem determined to test the practical workings of the Civil Rights law. The latest victim is Michael Rurke, of the well-known Rurke's European Hotel, on Madison street. Yesterday morning, between 7 and 8 o'clock, a well-dressed and spruce looking colored gentleman with an Irish name Thomas McKeer--enter.-ed Mr. Burke's restaurant, while that gentleman was acting as cashier, and took a seat complacently at one of the tidy tables. Beckoning to one of tho colored waiters, he ordered breakfast broiled steak, fried pota toes, toast, and coffee. His colored brother of tho immaculate apron looked at him with a furtive glance, and then over to Mr. Burke, who had observed the object of so much legis lation when he came in. The darky waiter fimiled percetibly, winked knowingly at Mr. McKee, looked wistfully at Mr. Burke, and then walked up to the latter at the cash ier's desk. Then THE FOLLOWING DIALOGCE ENSUED: Waiter Well, Mister Burke, shall I wait on him? Burke No, sir; you needn't act in any half-way manner in this matter; it is not consistent with our business to serve the gentleman. Tell him he cannot be served here. Waiter All right, sir. And the waiter tripped over to the waiting guest and informed him he could not serve him. McKee arose and quietly departed. He went straight to the United States Com missioner Hoyne's oflico and on the arrival of that official, swore out a warrant charging Mr. Burke with a violation of the Civil Rights law in refusing to serve him with food and drink. The warrant was quickly served and promptly answered to by Mr. Burke. The Commissioner was compelled to continue the hearing until Tuesday afternoon at 2 o'clock, because there is no official copy of the law in the city. It is expected that a copy will be here on Monday. Unliko the Aldermanic Whyland, Mr. 3urko proposes to test the con stitutionality of the law which dic tates to him tho conduct of his busi ness. in a briet interview with a Tribtme reporter yesterday, the fol lowing conversation ensued: Reporter-Mr. Burke, I have learn-. ed of vour arrest for an alleged vio lation of the new Civil Rights law, and desire to learn what yoi have to say in regard to it. Mr. Burke Yes, I was summoned before Mr. Hoync. and the matter was continued. R. Did you refuse to serve Mc Kee? B. Certainly I did. The waiter eamo to me -ji hen he gave his order and I told him not to servo him. R. On what ground? B. If I should serve colored peo ple here my business would be ruin ed. I have probably the best class of patrons in the city, and do a fine business; but if I should serve col ored people here I would lose it. I can not afford to let my business go down for the sake of serving a few colored men, and those coming here for the simple sake of testing this new law. There are some white peo ple I would not serve, and if I did it would injure my business. R. Well, do you propose to make this a test case? B. I do, and shall employ some of the ablest counsel in the city to defend mo. R. Do you intend to refuse all colored persons who come here for a square meal? B. Yes I am not going about this in any half-way manner. I think it is better to act in a definite and de cided way than to go beating around the bush. I will not serve colored men unless forced to do so. Thi3 settled it, and the reporter left. Dying Words of Piocs Women. "Oh, those rays of glory !" said Mrs. Clarkson, when dying. "My God I come flying to Thee!" said Lady Al ice Lucy. Lady Hastings said: "Oh the greatness of the glory that is re vealed to me!" Beautiful the expres sion of the dying poetess, Mrs. He mans: "I feel as if I were sitting with Mary at tho feet of my Redeem er, hearing the music of His voice, and learning of Him to be meek and lowly." Hannah More's last words were: "Welcome joy!" "Oh sweet, sweet dying" said Mrs. Talbot, of Reading. "If this be dying," said Lady Glenarch, "it is the pleasantest thing immaginable." "Victory, Vic tory , through the blood of the Lamb! said Grace Bennett, one of the early Methodists. "I shall go to my Fa ther this night" said Lady Hunting don: The dying injunction of the mother of Wesley was, "Children, when I am gone, sing a song of praise to God!" To the above may be added the last words of Mrs. Man chester, who died recently in Pitts burgh, aered one hundred and five years. ue said, wune uymg: -x - 1 1 a a T-r was afraid UOd nad iorgotien me, iie has left me in this world of sorroV so long." Had Him Thebe. A lover of good offoo Tin had len sevpral timfi.q swindled entered a Woodward ave nn croeerv vesterdav. and holrlino' 0 w r o up a handful of ground coffee from tne Dig can, ue inquired: "Are there any Deans m this cof fee?" "No, sir," promptly replied the grocer. "How do you know?" asked the man. "Because T was out of beans and had to put peas in!" was the answer. Something to Laugh Over. Cakes of toilet soap and $2 sus penders are beginning to reach the Nebraska sufferers. ; : The-St. Louis jail contains only 110 prisoners. Here's another in-: stance where Chicago lays over St. Louis. ' The Detroit Free Press says: If you want to escape the heated term come over to our - State and sit on the top rail of some fence and dangle your feet in the snowr. - - Tom Thumb owns stock in a sew ing machine company, and he raised his little voice for an extension of the "feed" patent. - ' A Chicago man says that if Job had had a jealous wife instead of the boils he would have known what real misery was. . The Sandwich King took twelve nice spittoons home with him. and probably sits up every night till mid night to spit in them. - . "1 "It isn't loud praying that counts with the Lord so much as giving four full quarts for every gallon," says an Arkansas circuit rider. "There! that explains where my clothes-line went to !" exclaimed an Iowa woman as she found her hus band hanging in the stable. "Why is it," asks an exchange, "that nearly every Senator's wife in Washington is a handsome woman ?" It is simply because nearly every Senator's wife who is not a handsome woman is left at home. Courier Journal. It is said that the female world is to return to hoops this summer. Whoop hoop. When a common Japanese goes in to the presence of an office-holder he must say: "Great and distinguished child of the sun, deign to put your foot upon my neck." . There's some pleasure in holding an office in that country. The Rev. Collyer says that men have always sworn and alwrays will swear, and he thinks some one should invent a national oath. We have al ways thought that "by gun!" was good English, expressive, and an in nocent sort of a. swear, and we place it on the table. The only divorce lawver in Cairo has his office up five flights of stairs, and after a woman has got half way up she is ready to return home and fix up matters. All the Nebraska aid societies want now is wheat and corn and potatoes enoujrh to plant 300,000 acres and about $150,000 cash. The climate is so healthy around Belton, Texas, that women have to poison their husbands to get rid of them and to have a chance to pro to a funeral. Florida is so infested with fleas that its name would be more appro priate if spelled Fleorida. hat inducement is there for a man to be an agriculturist when a Chicago Judge sends a person to State Prison . for three years for 'raising" a small bag of spring wheat ? You daren't go into a bar-room at Kansas City and call out, "Judge, you lie!" Every man in the room would know that you meant him.and you would have to run a mile a min ute to get away from them. The marine editor of the Courier Journal propounds a conundrum. He asks: Why will men pay hun dreds of dollars to make fools of themselves, when a man can be a gentleuan and not cost him a cent ? The average woman is now strug gling with spring styles. Mark Twain Delivers a Charita ble Lecture. A Characteristic tetter. Samuel L. Clemens has consented to lecture in Hartford for the benefit of the poor. Following is his letter: Hartford, Feb. 20th, 1875. Gentlemen: I accede to your re quest with pleasure. Many months ago I permanently quitted the lec ture field, and said I would not ap pear on the platform any more unless driven there by a lack of bread. By the spirit of that remark I am de barred from delivering this proposed lecture, so l iau back on tho letter of it and emerge upon the platform for this last and final time because I am confronted by a lack of bread among Father Hawley's flock.. Most people lie by the spirit and the letter too, but I am not of that kind, for I have been very carefully brought up. I wish to impose upon you the "con dition that the expenses of this en terprise shall be paid out of four or five private pockets, (mine is one of them,) to the end that all of the money that comes in at the door shall go to Father Hawley's needy ones, unimpaired by taxes on its journey, l am glad to know that you are going to put the tickets at 31; for what we are after now is money for people who stand sorely in need of bread and meat and so the object justifies the price - ' As this will be probably the last time I shall ever have the opportunity of hearing sound wisdom and pure truth delivered from the platform. I wish to buy a ticket to this lecture. and I herewith send money for the purchase. I am aware that I could get in for nothing and still be acting in a measure honorably; but when I run my lecture over in my mind and realize what a very bonanza of price less information it is, I find I cannot conscientiously accept of a free pass. Kespectfully, Maec. xTAxx. Somewhat Personal! The secret of Sam Ward's success is the fact that he never bores a man. Commit that to memory. Tho Hon. S. S. Cox has written a series of papers on American humor for Harper's Magazine. .It is to bo illustrated and will soon appearl 1 Grant Republicans are very happy to hear that Andy Johnson has "no enemies to punish;", they must not take too much comfort in it. ; .. . . JLIadame MacMahon ref uses to dross in tho Paris fashions., -"The exam ple of strumpets," says she "is not more worthy of .imitation in matters of dress than in "morals." ' Mrs. Beecher once wrote a noveL It was in 1801, and the title was "From Dawn to Daylight." Her name did not appear, tho preface being' signed "By a Minister's Wife." Crongressman Lawrence, of Lou isiana, gets a thousand dollars an hour for just thirteen hour's service. We'd be willing to try and worry through a day or two of it ourselves, at that figure. , . Mrs. Andrew Johnson will not re turn to Washington. She will bo represented by her daughter, Mrs. Patterson, who, with her daughter, now a young lady preparing to enter society, will do the honors. .,G The senior wrangler of the Uni versity of Cambridge, England, this year is John Williams, . Lord of Bir mingham, the son of a clergyman. The senior wrangler in Congress has been B. F. B., the son of a gun. Charles Backus the negro minstrel is going to play Romeo in black, by marrying Miss Lillie Eldridge, "the American Juliet," as she calls her self. The Chicago Tribune thinks this is the meeting of extremes, when the lily weds the lamp-black. Just listen how Brownlow talks since his recent promotion: "Small men," ho says, "with plenty of money and no means, may crawl into the Senate as the snail crawled to the top of the pyramid, but such a fellow can't run a. great newspaper." Gen. Sherman will publish : hid diary, and the Appletons will have it about May 1. It dates back to July , 1, 1840, his appointment as Second Lieutenant. Four-fifths of the book which will be in two volumes of 375 pages each, will relate to the lato war. Colonel Forney, writing from Ly ons, France, says: "The working 2)eople of America, are the happiest and best paid on earth. They eat the white bread of the world." It is the same way with a great many who do not work. Poor Richard's Proverbs. It is better to go to bed supperless than to rise in debt. There is no companion like the penny. A full purse makes the moith speak. Trade is the mother of money. The table robs more than the thief. Think of ease but work on. They must hunger in frost that will not work in heat. Never buy what you do not want, it is dear at any price. Be forehanded with your business. Idleness is the key of beggary. Credit is like a looking-glass, easi ly broken. He who looks not before, finds himself behind. Spend and be free, but make no waste. , i. A switch in time saves nine. Prayer and provender hinder no journey. loo much of one thincr is crood for nothing. - Keep thy shop and thy shop will keep thee; they can never thrive who spend their time in beer houses and in gambling houses. Be diligent and industrious in your respective occupations. Make hay while the sunshines. Sail while the wind blows fair. Catch time by the forelock. for ne is Paid behind. . : Laziness brings a man to povertv: but industry keeps the constable from tho door. Mind little expenses; a penny sav ed is a penny got, as the proverb says: and littles make a make. Undertake no more than vou are able to manage. "I Take heed of all vain and idle com panions, such as spend their time in taverns, at billiards, or the card table. Avoid the company of those who are given to quarreling, cursing, or getting drunk. . . : ... I he use of . money is all the ad vantage , there is . in haying . money. For five pounds a year you may have tue use oi one Hundred pounds, if you are a man of known prudence and honesty. He thatspendaa srroat day idly, spend idly about, six pounds a year, which is the price of using one hundred pounds. He that wastes idly a groats worth , of his. time r per day, , one with another wastes the. privilege of using one hundred pounds each day. Heavy. Purchase. Mrs. - Ben. Holladay has purchased what ia known as the Philip House is Wash ington city, paying for it 55,000, and also the lot adjoining for 10,000. Robert Mack and J. I. CooJi were elected by Western Lodge, Oiympia. as representatives to th ' Grand Lodge, I. O. O. Y.-?. - c-.'Z The Ohio .Legislature . refused to change a mans name 'to -- Jolm Smith," on the ground that tnere was already one John Smith, iu Jtb& 'State. v, O e o o o O o o o o O 0 0 S o o O O o o o o 7