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DEVOTED TO POLITICS, NEWS, LITERATURE, AND THE BEST INTERESTS OF OREGON.
O
VOL. 9.
OREGON CITY, OREGON,; FRIDAY, APRIL 16, 1875.
NO. 25.
m 1 inffrw
W
lEb wily 'lx4y:j yJ ty ly tl IP
o
7
THE ENTERPRISE.
A LOCAL DEMOCRATIC NEWSPAPER
FOR T 11 15
Piroer, Bnjimss San, & Family Circle.
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" SOCIETY NOTICES.
OREGON I.OIGIi XO. 3, I. I
Ueets every Thursday >.
reuingat 7 S o'clock, in the IS
Odd Fellow' Hall. Main -jisS-tre-it.
Members of Tho Or
der are invited to attend. J5y order
kbbkcca ni:c;ui:i: i.oic;b no.
S. I. O. O. F..THeeU on tlic
Second and 'ourth Tut-
-j : . - ..I. m.itit i
at 7 Si o clock, in tne uaa
rllowa IU11. Member of tho Degree
are invited lo attend.
MULTNOMAH LODCJi XO. I, A. I.
t a. M.j IIol.lits regular com- a
muiiicatioiis n the First and
Tnird .Saturdays in each month, 7
at 7 o'clock from thcA)th of Sep.
teinbur to the IXHh of March; and 7
'clck from the -Uth of March to the
SOth of September. Urethron in j?ood
tauJin; are invited to attend.
iJy order of W. M.
T'AI.LS KSCAMI'JIHVI' XO. 1,1. o.
O. K., M-cts at Odd Fell own q
Mall on the First and Third Tims
Uv of each month. I'atriarulis r
in c ad utaudin; are invit'jd to attend.
CMJ-"!' i:XtLAMP.Mi;XT no. -z, c.
. C. Men afJd Fellows' Hall, In Or.;
ra t'itv. orfril 0:1 Monday overling, at
7 Vio-tc. M -: itr-i 01 tin- iirder nre in-
t Attend
M. C. AT11KV, C.
J. ,d. 3fj.N', II. S.
ina-7Iy
n l' S I ,V K S .V t A Ii J) s.
J. V. XOltlilS, M. U.,
favsiaiN anij sniCJKON',
oiiu a o -v c a' r, o n a a o v.
rofllee l.'j-:-5tair In Cliarman's Brick,
Men Street. uullti.
W. Y. 310 HE LAND,
ATTORN EY-AT-LAW;
OREUU.v CI TV, OKKGO.V.
OXCICE Main Htreet, oipoite I lie
Cwart Mou.
''S.HUELAT'
ATTORN EY-AT-LAW:
CITY, - - OREGON.
sST-OFFieO rhaminn's brick. Main st.
5tuarlS7'i AX.
. JOMNSO&McCOVN
anAcounselors at-law.
Oregon -ty, Oregon.
"Will practice in all the Courts of tho
State. Special attention given to cases in
lb U. S. Und (ifT.oe at Oregon City.
5i prl."S2-tf.
Xi. T. 33ARIN
ATTORNEY-AT-LAW,
OREGON CI'J : : OREGON.
OFFICE Orer
pe's Tin Store, Main
treet.
Dr. S. BARKER,
T ATE OF I'OUTLAMD, OFFERS IHS
serrlces as I'liywcian and surgeon 10
id people or Clackf-mas county, wno may
At any time be in need of a physician. 1I
has opened an oraee at Ward A Harding's
I'rug Store where ho can b found at all
tun - of the day when not engaged in pro
fessional calls. Hesidence, Main Street,
next door but one above U. Caulleld's store.
October , 1871. tf
JOHN 31. DAC0X,
lMlDHTEU AND lEAIU
In IVxiks. stationery. lVrfum-
ry. etc.. etc.
Oregon City, Oregon.
"At Charman A Warner's old stand,
itely occupied by S. Ackcman, Main st.
OREGON CITY BREWERY.
1
Henry Humbel,
1 TAVI.VU PrRCTA8-
-- 1 no above Hii-w- r
ery wishes to inform
he public that he is
racture a No. 1 qual-
R Ii H Ii,
"w prepared to lna
uy of
L.AGJB I
as good as can bo
Lind anywhere In
I.? ta,e- Orders s'
nteti ana promptly
OYSTER SALOON
a x r
HESTAQRAMT !
LOUIS SAAL, Proprietor.
Main .'Street, - - - - Oregon City.
rp-sTErtS WIXT, BE SERVED FROM
Jnt,er.,n,sdale during the Winter
aason. The best qualities of
FUEXCH and AMERICAN CANDIES.
Ie-s for sxlc in aua-:tities to suit.'
mm
A Representative and Champion of Amer
ican Art Taste! .
Prospectus for 1875 Eighth IW.
TIIE .VLDIM,
THE ART JOURNAL OF AMERICA,
Issued Monthly.
"A Magnifloent Conception, Wonderfully
carried out."
The necessity of a popular medium for
the representation of the productions of
our great artists, has always been recog
nized, and many attempts have been
made to meet the -want. The successive
failures which so invariable followed each
attempt in this country to establish an
art journal, did not prove the indifference
of the American people to the claims of
high art. So soon as a proper appreciation
of the want and an ability to meet it were
shown, the public at once railed with en
thusiasm to its support, and the result was
a great artistic and commercial triumph
TJIR AL.DINK.
THE ALDIXE, while issued with all the
regularity, has none of the temporary or
timely interest characteristic of ordinary
periodicals. It is an elegant miscellany of
pure, light, and graceful literature; and a
collection of pictures, the rarest specimens
of artistic skill, in black and white. Al
though each succeeding number atrords a
fresh pleasure to'its friends, the real value
and beauty of TheAUline will be most ap
preciated after if is bound up at the close
of the year. While other publications
may claim superior cheapness, as compar
ed with rivals of a similar class, The Aldine
is an unique and original conception
alone and unapproached absolutely with
out competition in price or character. The
possessor of a complete volume could not
duplicate the quantity of fine paper and
engravings in aUV Ot her shnne or number
of volumes for ten times Its cost ; and then
ther' is the cliromo besides!
PlilCMITJM KOR 1875.
Every e.ubscrl'er for 1875 will receive a
beautiful portrait, iri oil colors, of the same
noble dog whoso picture in a former issue
attracted so much ottentisn.
Mian's. Unselfish Friend''
will be welcome in every home. Every
body loves such a dog, and the portrait is
executed so true to the life, that it seems
the veritable presence of the animal itself.
The Rev. T. l e Wit Talmage tells that his
own Xew Foundland dog (the finest in
Brooklyn) barks nt it! and though so nat
ural, no one who sees this premium ehro
1110 will have the slightest fear of being
bitten.
Besides the chromo, every advance sub
scriber to The AMine for 1675 is constituted
a member, and entitled to all the privil-
e'S THE ALDINE ART UNION.
The Ilulon owns the originals of all the
AMine pictures, which, with other paint
ings arid engravings, are to be distributed
among the members. To every series of
5,000 subscribers, loo different pieces, valu
ed at .over $-',500, are to be distributed as
soon as the series is full, and the awards
of each series as made, are to be published
in the next succeeding issue of The. Aldinc.
This feature applies only to subscribers
who pay ior one year in advance. 1'ull
particulars in circular sent on application
enclosing a stamp.
TKRMS.
Our .Subscription, entitling to Till-
ALUIN'K one year, tlie Cliromo
untl tt Art Union,
$ per Annum, in Advance.
(No charge lor postage.)
Specimen copies of THE ALDIXE, 50c.
CANVASSERS WANTED.
Any person wishing to act permanently
as a local canvasser will receive full and
promt information by applying to
TILE ALDINE COMPANY,
S8 M.VIDUX LAXB, NEW YOK .
LOTHIW
B
(3
()
T
8
A
X
D
S
I now offer this stock of Goods;
G
()
()
S
c
I
G
A
J
S
H
A
T
S
C
A
P
S
at Prices far below any other 1
house in the State. I
I Times are hard and money
scarce and I will give every one!
the worth of their money.
j I also keep a full assortment
of
1
OREGON CITY MADE i
Men and Boys'
Olotlilittr,
I'lKld'Honr,
X-,J ii el,
Ulan Wet ,
And Yarns.
...ALSO
Groceries,
Cutlery,
Jewelry,
Notion,
Muftirnl
Instruments,
Toy,
Etc,
AT THE
Lowest Prices
For CASH.
AT
A.LEVTS.
octietf 1
H
()
E
8
T
X)
B
A
C
c
o
s
OREGON STEAMSHIP GO.'S
STEAMBOAT NOTICE!
Str E. US'. COOKE.
Will leave OREGOX CITY for PORTT.A VFI
everv day Except Sunday, at 7J4 o'clock,
M. Returning, will leave Fortland for
Oregon City at 2 o'clock, P. M.
Sir, ALICE,
Will leave OREGON CITY forCORVATXIS
every Monday and Thursday of each week.
Str. DAYTON,
Will leave OREGOX CITY for McMIX
VIIXE, LAFAYETTE and DaYTOX, and
all points between, every Monday, Wed
nesday and Friday of each week. Leaves
the Basin at 8 o'clock, a. si., and connect
with the train at Canemah nt 9, A. x. .
Stx ALI 5 AiSTY,
Leaves OREGOX CITY for HARRISBURG
and EUGEXE and all intermediate points
every week.
Sti Eaimie JPattoxi,
Leaves OREGOX CITY for ALBANY and
all intermediate points between twico'ev
ery week. J. D. RILES, Agent,
Oregon City.February, 141. 874.
331. JOHN WELCH
DENTIST,
OFFICE IX
OREGON CITV, OREGON.
IIirhest fash Price Paid for County
Orders. FOR SALE.
THE UXDERSIONEP OFFERS HIS
premises, in Oswego, for sale at a bar
gain, for cash. -There -is a fine dwelling
and out buildings, orchard and about three
acres of land. Finely situated for board
ing house for the bands employed tn the
Imp Works. J.-W. CAIXE.
uswego, sert. l", ;
v'V
Irish Bulls and Blunders.
Doctoi R. Shelton Mackenzie con
tributes to the Saturday UTtgJd some
amusing anecdotes about our Irish
friends, as follows: -
Many examples of this genius might
be adduced. One rather notable one
was where a dashing young gentle
man, starting on a bridal tour, and
wishing to avoid the observation to
which newly wedded people are sub
jected, spoke to his confidential man
servant in these words: .
' -"I am going to take you with me-,
to wait upon us aid look after the
baggage. My wife's maid is to re
main at home, because she is apt to
chatter, and wo do not want people
at hotels to know that we are just
married. I rely upon you, Patrick,
not to say anything about it."
Pat promised with great volubility
to "keep his tongue within his cheek."
as he elegantly expressed it, and the
party started on the bridal trip, re
maining that evening in one of the
principal hotels of the city, which
was marked on their programme as
the best stopping pjace.
Next morning the bridegroom did
not exactly admire the rather hostile
looks that were cast at him from var
ious persons, while there was evident
pity and even symjjathy in the man
ner in which the young lady was re
garded. In, paying his bill, the hotel cash
ier was all but civil. During the
journey, the bridegroom and bride
compared notes, agreeing that there
was something very peculiar and un
accountable in the manner in which
they had been looked at and treated
Ci the hotel.
The lady ventured to suggest that
perhaps Patrick had been indiscreet
in his conversation with the waiters
and hotel servants. The gentleman
thought that could hardly be, after
the strong injunctions ho had given
him to hold her tongue.
At last, at their next stopping
place, Patrick was sent for and ques
tioned: "Did you notice anything extra
ordinary in the way in which we
were spoken of and treated at the
hotel, last night or this morning?"
lie had not noticed it.
"Are you sure that you did not go
chattering about us? Did I not warn
you that I did not wish it to be
known that ours was a bridal party?"
To this came the clenching reply:
"Sure, sir, and I held my tongue,
as I was desired. At the servants'
table last night, one of the girls of
the house said ye were a handsome
couple, and she dared say were only
just married; and on that, remem
bering what you had tould me, I up
and said she was mighty mistaken,
for ye two weren't to be married for
a fortnight to come!"
This, which accounted for the'pe
culiar looks at the hotel, was a blun
der, but not a bull. It was as much
a mistake as Ilandy Andy has ever
made.
It was neither wit nor a bull when
an Irishman asking for a letter at the
post office, was asked, "What name?"
pettishly replied:
"Sure you'll find it written on the
letther."
It was neither a bull nor blunder,
but keen wit, when a person asked
about a discharged servant's capacity
said :
"She's so fond of her work that
sho would like all the time to lie
down and sleep by it!" ..
This last is far-fetched. An Irish
j bull is a correct idea incorrectly
statea. tue tnougnt itself, however
expressed, is always intelligible. For
example, two Irishmen, meeting af
ter a long separation, made inquiries
alter out acquaintances.
"How is Tom Murphy?" was asked
The response was:
"Mighty bad. lie has been laid
up -with sickness for some weeks, and
is so reduced that you d scarcely
know him. You're thin, and lam
thin, but he is thinner than both of
us put together!
Pat meant to say that the sick man
was thinner than either of them, but,
in the thoughtlessness of haste, he
saiu thinner than both.
A thorough bull, too, is to be found
in the anecdote of the Irishman who,
having picked up a golden guinea in
tne street, took it to a money-changer,
who; finding it under weight,
gave him eighteen instead of twenty -one
shillings for it.
Next day, on the same street, he
saw another guinea which he did not
pick up, but passed on, saving:
"I'll have nothing to do with you!
x lost xnree snimngs oy one ii&e you
yesterday."
Another good specimen 13 Sir
Boyle Roche's declaration, in the
Irish parliament that the progress of
civilization might be judged from
the fact that "little children, who
can neither walk nor talk, may be
seen running about the streets, curs
ing tLeir Maker!" . .
There are bulls of action as well as
of speech. In one of Hogarth's en
gravings is a man sitting on the out
side part of the branch of a tree
growing over a river, which was saw
ing off, apparently not aware that,
when his work was done, he must
fall in the water below.
Still better is the story of an Irish
bricklayer wha.laid a wager of a pot
of porter that a countryman of his.
also in the building line, would not
safely convey him, seated m a hod
and carried on the shoulder, to the
third story of a new house. This
was done, and the man was safely
delivered at the top of the house as
agreed upon. Throwing down a shil
ling, he exclaimed;
-There! I've lost my wager; but
when we were up as high as the sec
ond story, and your foot made a lit
tle slip on the round of the ladder,
bedad I began to have great hopes!"
that is, of winning the wager, and
probably breaking bis neck by a fall
on the ground below. .. -
1 COURTESY
New Hampshire as it is.
; a
From the San Francisco Examiner.
The complete returns for Governor
of the Granite State are as follows:
Cheney (Radical), 39,285; Roberts
(Democrat), 39,163; White, (Prohi
bitionist), 754. Cheney, therefore,
has a majority over Roberts of 122,
but lacks C32 votes of a majority
over both opposing candidates.
Mr. Cheney owes his majority over
Judge Roberts to the Prohibitionists
who were originally members of the
Radical party. Tjastyar-they poll
ed 2,100 votes'. - Had they remained
steadfast' this year Mr. Cheney
would have been behind Judge Rob
erts 1,221 votes. The same action
would have given the Legislature to
the Democrats by about the majority
they had last year. The change on
the gubernatorial and legislative
vote, therefore was wrought by a
return of a portion of the Prohibi
tionists to their first love. They
were largely iniluenced, as we have
before said, by local dissatisfaction,
growing out of certain action by the
late Democratic Legislature. On
local issues, therefore, it is proper to
concede that the Democrats came out
second best in the election.
On national issues a practical de
cision upon which could only be
readied in voting for Congressmen
the- Democrats carried the State.
The following was the official vote in
the three districts for representative
in the Forty-fourth Congress:
Dist. Dem. Rad. Pro.
First ....14,004 13,G19 326
Second 13,0S3 12,936 202
Third 12,181 12,388 1U3
Totals 39,268 38,943 691
Dem. vote over Rad. vote 325
Two years ago, when Congress
men were elected, the Radical
aggregate vote was larger than that
of. the Democrats, and there were
two Radicals to one Democratic Con
gressmen chosen. This year the ra
tio has been reversed a Democratic
gain of one.
The most agreeable feature of the
returns to Democrats, however, is
the large increase in the aggregate
Democratic vote. The Democratic
vote this year was the largest ever
polled in the State. The following
table shows the total vote east by
parties iu New Hampshire during
the past ten years. No vote previous
to the earliest recorded in this table
was equal to that for Governor in
1SC8, so that it is unnecessary to go
further back to illustrate this point:
Dt'm. Jtep. Jfrt i.
1SG5 Gov -J.S.017 :JI,H" ti.l-is R
180ti Gov :10,4S 1 ;15,i:;7 4 ( It
IS07 Gov :(2,Kil 35,N0U 3,lltiR
l.StM Gov o7,JW 3!t,7S5 :',5:':l It
l.SiiS I 'res ...."l,-'-,. nil ti,'ii;7 U
lSU'J Gov :J,tX4 o7,777 3,773 R
Ij. It-f. Ton 11.
1870 Gov..:..25,023 31)12 7,309 1,107 J. 353 It
IS" I Gov 31,ti'.!) 33,S!tt 7S2 351 X07 1
1872 Gov. ...30,54 38,75:" 541 478 1,149 R
1872 Pres ...31,525 37,108 2O0 5,413 11
IAh.
1 873 Gov 32,01(5 31,023 087 1.078 22S It
1874 Gov 35,008 34,11.!, 2,100 1,405 1 1
1875 Gov 311,103 otVS-i 751 122 R
"Plurality.
Ry looking through the first col
umn in this table the reader will
observe that the largest Democratic
vote polled previous to this year was
that for Governor in 1868, which was
37,262. The Democratic vote this
year was 39,163 an increase of 1,901.
The largest previous Radical vote
was polled for Governor in 1868,
which was 39,785. Tho Radical vote
this year was 39,285, and 500 less.
In other words, the Democrats have
done better their previous best by
nearly 2,000, while tho Radicals have
failed to do as well as their previous
pest, oy ouu. Which horse is mak
ing the better time for the Presiden
tial goal of 1876?
To sum up. The Radicals are
ahead on the gubernatorial vote by
122, and have a majority of 7 in the
lower House of the Legislature, and
the Democrats are ahead on the Con
gressional vote by 325, they tie in
the Senate, have a majority of tho
Congressmen, being a gain of one,
and they improved upon their best
efforts in the past by nearly 2.000
votes. If, upon the whole, remarks
the New York World, this is not a
Democratic victory, it is very nearly
like one.
. j i
PlNCHBACK IN War PAINT. So
there is no way out of this dilemma.
Pinchback has been offered the New
Orleans Post-office, but he has scorn
fully rejected it. He i3 very defiant,
and threatens all sorts of things in
the event of his rejection. Ho wish
es to be a senator or, if the Republi
can majority is to chicken-hearted
to do its duty then he will be satis
fied with nothing less than the Sec
retaryship of the- Senate. 'Let them
turn out that Pacific Coast lobbyist,
Gorham," says Pinch, "and elect me
and I will cry quits. If they dont
then it is war to the knife, and the
knife to the hilt. They would gain
two ends" says Pinch, "by this com
promise. The Senate would have a
man for Secretary who is rich enough
to be above temptation, and who
would administer the office honestly,
which has not been done for many
years, and the negro vote of the
South would be preserved intact to
the Republican party. They have
my terms," said Pinch to your cor
respondent to-day. "and thev can do
as they please."
Changed His HnntsE. The slim
man who risrl to nlmlk his head and
attend masquerades as a billiard-cue,
or braid his legs and attend as a rid
ing whip, now slips a rubber tip
over his cranium and goes as a lead
pencil.
Grant does for a living. Why, didn't
t m . TT .'.let
ue marry one 01 ine uwuuio b1;1-31
He's an honorary member of society
merely.' - ;
To many the path of life is nearly
all tunnels. '
OF BANCROFT LIBRARY,
Testing That Law.
Chicago People Vill Not lat With
Negroes.
tChicago Tribune, March 11th.
The colored people, or certain of
them, seem determined to test the
practical workings of the Civil Rights
law. The latest victim is Michael
Rurke, of the well-known Rurke's
European Hotel, on Madison street.
Yesterday morning, between 7 and 8
o'clock, a well-dressed and spruce
looking colored gentleman with an
Irish name Thomas McKeer--enter.-ed
Mr. Burke's restaurant, while that
gentleman was acting as cashier, and
took a seat complacently at one of
the tidy tables. Beckoning to one
of tho colored waiters, he ordered
breakfast broiled steak, fried pota
toes, toast, and coffee. His colored
brother of tho immaculate apron
looked at him with a furtive glance,
and then over to Mr. Burke, who had
observed the object of so much legis
lation when he came in. The darky
waiter fimiled percetibly, winked
knowingly at Mr. McKee, looked
wistfully at Mr. Burke, and then
walked up to the latter at the cash
ier's desk. Then
THE FOLLOWING DIALOGCE ENSUED:
Waiter Well, Mister Burke, shall
I wait on him?
Burke No, sir; you needn't act in
any half-way manner in this matter;
it is not consistent with our business
to serve the gentleman. Tell him he
cannot be served here.
Waiter All right, sir.
And the waiter tripped over to the
waiting guest and informed him he
could not serve him. McKee arose
and quietly departed. He went
straight to the United States Com
missioner Hoyne's oflico and on the
arrival of that official, swore out a
warrant charging Mr. Burke with a
violation of the Civil Rights law in
refusing to serve him with food and
drink. The warrant was quickly
served and promptly answered to by
Mr. Burke. The Commissioner was
compelled to continue the hearing
until Tuesday afternoon at 2 o'clock,
because there is no official copy of
the law in the city. It is expected
that a copy will be here on Monday.
Unliko the Aldermanic Whyland,
Mr. 3urko proposes to test the con
stitutionality of the law which dic
tates to him tho conduct of his busi
ness. in a briet interview with a
Tribtme reporter yesterday, the fol
lowing conversation ensued:
Reporter-Mr. Burke, I have learn-.
ed of vour arrest for an alleged vio
lation of the new Civil Rights law,
and desire to learn what yoi have to
say in regard to it.
Mr. Burke Yes, I was summoned
before Mr. Hoync. and the matter
was continued.
R. Did you refuse to serve Mc
Kee?
B. Certainly I did. The waiter
eamo to me -ji hen he gave his order
and I told him not to servo him.
R. On what ground?
B. If I should serve colored peo
ple here my business would be ruin
ed. I have probably the best class
of patrons in the city, and do a fine
business; but if I should serve col
ored people here I would lose it. I
can not afford to let my business go
down for the sake of serving a few
colored men, and those coming here
for the simple sake of testing this
new law. There are some white peo
ple I would not serve, and if I did it
would injure my business.
R. Well, do you propose to make
this a test case?
B. I do, and shall employ some
of the ablest counsel in the city to
defend mo.
R. Do you intend to refuse all
colored persons who come here for a
square meal?
B. Yes I am not going about this
in any half-way manner. I think it
is better to act in a definite and de
cided way than to go beating around
the bush. I will not serve colored
men unless forced to do so.
Thi3 settled it, and the reporter
left.
Dying Words of Piocs Women.
"Oh, those rays of glory !" said Mrs.
Clarkson, when dying. "My God I
come flying to Thee!" said Lady Al
ice Lucy. Lady Hastings said: "Oh
the greatness of the glory that is re
vealed to me!" Beautiful the expres
sion of the dying poetess, Mrs. He
mans: "I feel as if I were sitting
with Mary at tho feet of my Redeem
er, hearing the music of His voice,
and learning of Him to be meek and
lowly." Hannah More's last words
were: "Welcome joy!" "Oh sweet,
sweet dying" said Mrs. Talbot, of
Reading. "If this be dying," said
Lady Glenarch, "it is the pleasantest
thing immaginable." "Victory, Vic
tory , through the blood of the Lamb!
said Grace Bennett, one of the early
Methodists. "I shall go to my Fa
ther this night" said Lady Hunting
don: The dying injunction of the
mother of Wesley was, "Children,
when I am gone, sing a song of
praise to God!" To the above may
be added the last words of Mrs. Man
chester, who died recently in Pitts
burgh, aered one hundred and five
years. ue said, wune uymg: -x
- 1 1 a a T-r
was afraid UOd nad iorgotien me, iie
has left me in this world of sorroV
so long."
Had Him Thebe. A lover of good
offoo Tin had len sevpral timfi.q
swindled entered a Woodward ave
nn croeerv vesterdav. and holrlino'
0 w r o
up a handful of ground coffee from
tne Dig can, ue inquired:
"Are there any Deans m this cof
fee?" "No, sir," promptly replied the
grocer.
"How do you know?" asked the
man.
"Because T was out of beans and
had to put peas in!" was the answer.
Something to Laugh Over.
Cakes of toilet soap and $2 sus
penders are beginning to reach the
Nebraska sufferers. ;
: The-St. Louis jail contains only
110 prisoners. Here's another in-:
stance where Chicago lays over St.
Louis. '
The Detroit Free Press says: If
you want to escape the heated term
come over to our - State and sit on
the top rail of some fence and dangle
your feet in the snowr. - -
Tom Thumb owns stock in a sew
ing machine company, and he raised
his little voice for an extension of
the "feed" patent. - '
A Chicago man says that if Job
had had a jealous wife instead of the
boils he would have known what real
misery was. .
The Sandwich King took twelve
nice spittoons home with him. and
probably sits up every night till mid
night to spit in them. - . "1
"It isn't loud praying that counts
with the Lord so much as giving
four full quarts for every gallon,"
says an Arkansas circuit rider.
"There! that explains where my
clothes-line went to !" exclaimed an
Iowa woman as she found her hus
band hanging in the stable.
"Why is it," asks an exchange,
"that nearly every Senator's wife in
Washington is a handsome woman ?"
It is simply because nearly every
Senator's wife who is not a handsome
woman is left at home. Courier
Journal. It is said that the female world is
to return to hoops this summer.
Whoop hoop.
When a common Japanese goes in
to the presence of an office-holder he
must say: "Great and distinguished
child of the sun, deign to put your
foot upon my neck." . There's some
pleasure in holding an office in that
country.
The Rev. Collyer says that men
have always sworn and alwrays will
swear, and he thinks some one should
invent a national oath. We have al
ways thought that "by gun!" was
good English, expressive, and an in
nocent sort of a. swear, and we place
it on the table.
The only divorce lawver in Cairo
has his office up five flights of stairs,
and after a woman has got half way
up she is ready to return home and
fix up matters.
All the Nebraska aid societies want
now is wheat and corn and potatoes
enoujrh to plant 300,000 acres and
about $150,000 cash.
The climate is so healthy around
Belton, Texas, that women have to
poison their husbands to get rid of
them and to have a chance to pro to
a funeral.
Florida is so infested with fleas
that its name would be more appro
priate if spelled Fleorida.
hat inducement is there for a
man to be an agriculturist when a
Chicago Judge sends a person to
State Prison . for three years for
'raising"
a small bag of spring
wheat ?
You daren't go into a bar-room at
Kansas City and call out, "Judge,
you lie!" Every man in the room
would know that you meant him.and
you would have to run a mile a min
ute to get away from them.
The marine editor of the Courier
Journal propounds a conundrum.
He asks: Why will men pay hun
dreds of dollars to make fools of
themselves, when a man can be a
gentleuan and not cost him a cent ?
The average woman is now strug
gling with spring styles.
Mark Twain Delivers a Charita
ble Lecture.
A Characteristic tetter.
Samuel L. Clemens has consented
to lecture in Hartford for the benefit
of the poor. Following is his letter:
Hartford, Feb. 20th, 1875.
Gentlemen: I accede to your re
quest with pleasure. Many months
ago I permanently quitted the lec
ture field, and said I would not ap
pear on the platform any more unless
driven there by a lack of bread. By
the spirit of that remark I am de
barred from delivering this proposed
lecture, so l iau back on tho letter
of it and emerge upon the platform
for this last and final time because I
am confronted by a lack of bread
among Father Hawley's flock.. Most
people lie by the spirit and the letter
too, but I am not of that kind, for I
have been very carefully brought up.
I wish to impose upon you the "con
dition that the expenses of this en
terprise shall be paid out of four or
five private pockets, (mine is one of
them,) to the end that all of the
money that comes in at the door
shall go to Father Hawley's needy
ones, unimpaired by taxes on its
journey, l am glad to know that
you are going to put the tickets at
31; for what we are after now is
money for people who stand sorely
in need of bread and meat and so
the object justifies the price - ' As
this will be probably the last time I
shall ever have the opportunity of
hearing sound wisdom and pure
truth delivered from the platform. I
wish to buy a ticket to this lecture.
and I herewith send money for the
purchase. I am aware that I could
get in for nothing and still be acting
in a measure honorably; but when I
run my lecture over in my mind and
realize what a very bonanza of price
less information it is, I find I cannot
conscientiously accept of a free pass.
Kespectfully, Maec. xTAxx.
Somewhat Personal!
The secret of Sam Ward's success
is the fact that he never bores a man.
Commit that to memory.
Tho Hon. S. S. Cox has written a
series of papers on American humor
for Harper's Magazine. .It is to bo
illustrated and will soon appearl 1
Grant Republicans are very happy
to hear that Andy Johnson has "no
enemies to punish;", they must not
take too much comfort in it. ; .. . .
JLIadame MacMahon ref uses to dross
in tho Paris fashions., -"The exam
ple of strumpets," says she "is not
more worthy of .imitation in matters
of dress than in "morals." '
Mrs. Beecher once wrote a noveL
It was in 1801, and the title was
"From Dawn to Daylight." Her
name did not appear, tho preface
being' signed "By a Minister's Wife."
Crongressman Lawrence, of Lou
isiana, gets a thousand dollars an
hour for just thirteen hour's service.
We'd be willing to try and worry
through a day or two of it ourselves,
at that figure. , .
Mrs. Andrew Johnson will not re
turn to Washington. She will bo
represented by her daughter, Mrs.
Patterson, who, with her daughter,
now a young lady preparing to enter
society, will do the honors. .,G
The senior wrangler of the Uni
versity of Cambridge, England, this
year is John Williams, . Lord of Bir
mingham, the son of a clergyman.
The senior wrangler in Congress has
been B. F. B., the son of a gun.
Charles Backus the negro minstrel
is going to play Romeo in black, by
marrying Miss Lillie Eldridge, "the
American Juliet," as she calls her
self. The Chicago Tribune thinks
this is the meeting of extremes,
when the lily weds the lamp-black.
Just listen how Brownlow talks
since his recent promotion: "Small
men," ho says, "with plenty of
money and no means, may crawl into
the Senate as the snail crawled to
the top of the pyramid, but such a
fellow can't run a. great newspaper."
Gen. Sherman will publish : hid
diary, and the Appletons will have it
about May 1. It dates back to July ,
1, 1840, his appointment as Second
Lieutenant. Four-fifths of the book
which will be in two volumes of 375
pages each, will relate to the lato
war.
Colonel Forney, writing from Ly
ons, France, says: "The working
2)eople of America, are the happiest
and best paid on earth. They eat
the white bread of the world." It is
the same way with a great many who
do not work.
Poor Richard's Proverbs.
It is better to go to bed supperless
than to rise in debt.
There is no companion like the
penny.
A full purse makes the moith
speak.
Trade is the mother of money.
The table robs more than the thief.
Think of ease but work on.
They must hunger in frost that
will not work in heat.
Never buy what you do not want,
it is dear at any price.
Be forehanded with your business.
Idleness is the key of beggary.
Credit is like a looking-glass, easi
ly broken.
He who looks not before, finds
himself behind.
Spend and be free, but make no
waste. , i.
A switch in time saves nine.
Prayer and provender hinder no
journey.
loo much of one thincr is crood for
nothing. -
Keep thy shop and thy shop will
keep thee; they can never thrive who
spend their time in beer houses and
in gambling houses.
Be diligent and industrious
in
your respective occupations.
Make hay while the sunshines.
Sail while the wind blows fair.
Catch time by the forelock.
for
ne is Paid behind. . :
Laziness brings a man to povertv:
but industry keeps the constable
from tho door.
Mind little expenses; a penny sav
ed is a penny got, as the proverb
says: and littles make a make.
Undertake no more than vou are
able to manage. "I
Take heed of all vain and idle com
panions, such as spend their time
in taverns, at billiards, or the card
table.
Avoid the company of those who
are given to quarreling, cursing, or
getting drunk. . . : ...
I he use of . money is all the ad
vantage , there is . in haying . money.
For five pounds a year you may have
tue use oi one Hundred pounds, if
you are a man of known prudence
and honesty. He thatspendaa srroat
day idly, spend idly about, six
pounds a year, which is the price of
using one hundred pounds. He that
wastes idly a groats worth , of his.
time r per day, , one with another
wastes the. privilege of using one
hundred pounds each day.
Heavy. Purchase. Mrs. - Ben.
Holladay has purchased what ia
known as the Philip House is Wash
ington city, paying for it 55,000,
and also the lot adjoining for 10,000.
Robert Mack and J. I. CooJi were
elected by Western Lodge, Oiympia.
as representatives to th ' Grand
Lodge, I. O. O. Y.-?. - c-.'Z
The Ohio .Legislature . refused to
change a mans name 'to -- Jolm
Smith," on the ground that tnere
was already one John Smith, iu Jtb&
'State. v,
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