Heppner gazette., August 05, 1909, Image 2

The
Mai
n
Chance
t
Br
Meredith Nicholson
copvright 1w3
The Bobbs-Mkkkill Company
CHAPTEH VIII. (Continued.)
John turned out the light, and while
&ey waited for the elevator to come up
for them Warry jingled the coins and
keys in his pockets before he blurted :
"I say, John, I'm an underbred, low
person, and am not worthy to be called
thy friend, and you may hate me all you
like, but one thing I'd like to know. Did
she say anything about me when you
passed us this afternoon make nny com
ment or anything? You know I despise
myself for asking, but
Saxton laughed quietly
"Yes, she did ; but I don't know that
I ought to tell you. It was really en
couraging. She said, 'Miss Margrave
has a lot of style; don't you think so?'"
"Is that all?' demanded Raridan, step
ping into the car.
"That's all. It wasn't very much ; but
It was the way she said it ; and as she
said it she brushed a fly from the horse
with the whip, and she did it very care
fully." In the corridor below they met Whea
ton coming out of the side door of the
bank. He had been at work, he said.
Raridan asked him to go with them to
the club for a game of billiards, but he
pleaded weariness and said he was going
to bed.
The three men walked up Varney street
together. They were men of widely dif
ferent antecedents and qualities. Cir
cumstances, in themselves natural and
harmless, had brought them together. The
iives of all three were to be influenced
by the weakness of one, and one woman's
life was to be profoundly affected by con
tact with all of them. It is not ordained
for us to know whether those we touch
hands with, and even break bread with,
from day to day, are to bring us good or
evil. The electric light reveals nothing
in the sibyl's book which was not dis
closed of old to those who pondered the
mysteries by starlight and rushlight.
Wheaton left them at the club door and
went on to The Bachelors', which was
only a step farther up the street.
"How do you like Wheaton by this
time?" asked Karidan, as they entered
the club.
"I hardly know how to answer that,"
Eaxtor answered. "He's treated me well
enough. It seems to me I'm always try
ing to find some reason for not liking him,
but I can't put my hand on anything
tangible."
"That's the way I feel," said Raridan,
hanging up his coat in the billiard room.
"He's rigid, some way. There's no let-go
in him. I guess the law allows us to
dislike some people just on general prin
ciples, and Jim likes himself so well that
you and I don't matter."
CHAPTER IX.
After the interim of quiet that Lent
always brings in Clarkson, the spring
came swiftly. There was a renewal of
eocial activities which ran from dances
and teas into outdoor gatherings. Evelyn
had enjoyed to the full her experience at
home. She had plunged into the frivoli
ties of the town with a zest that was a
trifle emphasized through her wish to
escape any charge of being pedantic or
literary. She was glad that she had gone
to college, but she did not wish this fact
of her life to be the haunting ghost of
her days; and by the end of the winter
the felt that she had pretty effectually
laid it.
In June Mr. Porter began discussing
rommer plans with Evelyn. He elimi
nated himself from them; he could not
get away, he said. But there was Grant
to be considered. The boy was at school
in New Hampshire, and Evelyn protested
that :it was not wise to subject him to
the intense heat of a Clarkson summer.
The first hot wave sent Porter to bed
with a trifling illness, and his doctor took
the opportunity to look him over and tell
Mm that it was imperative for him to
rest. Thompson came home from Arizona
to spend the summer. He and Wheaton
were certainly equal to the care of the
hank, so they urged Porter, and he finally
yielded. Evelyn found a hotel on the
Massachusetts North Shore which sound
ed well in the circulars, and her father
agreed to it. When they reached Orchard
J.ane he liked it better than he had ex
pected. Every night he sat down with
cipher telegrams, and constructed from
Thompson's statistics the day's business
in the bank. He received daily from New
York the closing quotations on the shares
he was Interested in, and as he walked
the long hotel verandas he effected a
transmigration of spirit which put him
back In his swivel chair in the Clarkson
National.
In August Warry Raridan appeared
suddenly and threw himself into the gaie
ties of the place for a fortnight. Mr.
Porter asked him to sit at their table
and marveled at the way Evelyn snubbed
him, even to the extent of running away
for three days with some friends who
had a yacht and who carried her to New
port for a dance. During her absence
Warry made all the other girls about the
place happy ; they were sure that "that
Miai Porter" was treating blra shabbily
and their hearts went out to him. War
ry sulked when Evelyn returned and they
had an interview between dance at a
Saturday night hop.
He sought for recognition as a lover;
he had not praised the efforts he had
been making to win her approval by dill
aence at his office; he took care to call
her attention to bis changed habits.
But, Evelyn, I am doing differently.
I know that I wasted myself for years
so that I'm a kind of Joke and every
body laugfca about ma Bat I va&t to
knw I want to feel that I'm doing it
for you! Don't you know "that would
help ma and steady me? Won't you let
if be for yon?" lie came close to her
and stood with his arms folded, but she
drew away from him with a despairing
gesture.
"Oh, Warry," she cried, wearily, "you
poor, foolish boy ! Don't you know that
you must do all things for yourself?"
"Yes," he returned eagerly. "I know
that ; I understand perfectly ; but if you'd
uly let me feel that you wanted it
"I want you to succeed, but yon will
never do it for any one, if you don't do it
for yourself.
He went home by an early train next
morning to receive Saxton's consolation
and to turn again to his law books. Mar
grave, on behalf of the Transcontinental,
had offered to compromise the case of
the poor widow whose clothes lines had
been interfered with ; but Raridan reject
ed this tender. He needed something on
which to vent his mad spirit. . and he
gave his thought to devising means of
transferring the widows cause to tne
federal court. The removal of causes
from State to federal courts was, Warry
frequently said, one of the best things
he did.
Porter's vacation was not altogether
wasted. As he lounged about and phi
losophized to the Bostonians on West
ern business conditions, his restless mind
took hold of a new project. It was sug
gested to him by the inquiries of a Bos
ton banker, who owned a considerable
amount of Clarkson Traction bonds and
stock which he was anxious to sell. Por
ter gave a discouraging account of the
company, whose history he knew thor
oughly. The Traction Company had been
organized in the boom days and its stock
had been inflated in keeping with the
prevailing spirit of the time, It was
first equipped with the cable system in
deference to the Clarkson hills, but later
the company made the introduction of
the trolley an excuse for a reorganization'
of its finances with an even more gen
erous Inflation. The panic then descend
ed any wrought a diminution of rev
enue; the company was unable to make
the repairs which constantly became nec
essary, and the local management fell
into the hands of a series of corrupt di
rectorates. There had been much litigation, and
some of the Eastern bondholders had
threatened a receivership; but the local
stockholders made plausible excuses for
the default of interest when approached
amicably, and when menaced grew in
solent and promised trouble if an attempt
were made to deprive them of power. A
secretary and a treasurer under one ad
ministration had connived to appropriate
a large share of the daily cash receipts,
and before they left the office they de
stroyed or concealed the books and rec
ords of the company. The effect of this
was to create a mystery as to the dis
tribution of the bonds and the stock
When Porter came home from his sum
mer vacation, the newspapers were de
manding that steps be taken to declare
the Traction franchise forfeit. But the
franchise had been renewed lately and
had twenty years to run. This extension
had been procured by the element in con
trol, and the foreign bondholders, biding
their time, were glad to avail themselves
of the political skill of the local officers
Porter had been casually asked by his
Boston friend whether there was any lo
cal market for the stock or bonds; and
he had answered that there was not ; that
the holders of shares in Clarkson kept
what they had because they could no
longer sell to one another and that they
were only waiting for the larger outside
bondholders and shareholders to assert
themselves. Porter had ridden down to
Boston with his brother banker and when
they parted it was with an understand
ing that the Bostonian was to collect for
Porter the Clarkson Traction securities
that were held by New England banks,
a considerable amount,' Porter knew ;
and he went home with a well-formed
plan of buying the control of the com
pany. Times were improving and he
had faith in ' Clarkson's future; he did
not believe in it so noisily as Timothy
Margrave did; but he knew the resources
of the tributary country, and he had,
what all successful business men must
have, an alert imagination.
It was not necessary for Porter to dis
close the fact of his purchases to the
officers of the Traction Company, whom
he knew to be corrupt and vicious ; the
transfer of ownership on the company's
books made no difference, as the original
stock books had been destroyed a fact
which had become public property through
a legal effort to levy on the holdings of a
shareholder in the interest of a creditor.
Moreover, if he could help it. Porter
never told any one about anything be did.
He even had several dummies in whose
names he frequently held securities and
real estate. One of these was Peck ham, a
clerk in the office of Feu ton, Porter's
lawyer.
CHAPTER X.
When ton had not long been an officer
of the bank before he began to be aware
that there was considerable mystery
about Porter's outside transactions. Por
ter occasionally perused with much in
terest several small memorandum books
which he kept carefully locked in his
desk. The president often wrote letters
with his own hand and copied them him
self after bank hours, in a private letter
book. Wheaton was naturally curious as
to what these outside interests might be.
It had piqued him to find that while he
was cashier of the band he was not con
sulted in its larger transactions; and
that of Porter's personal affairs he knew
nothing.
One afternoon shortly after Porter's re
turn from the East, Wheaton, who was
waiting for some letters to sign, picked
up a bundle of checks from the desk of
one of the individual bookkeepers. They
were Porter's personal checks which had
that day been pnid and were now being
charged to his private account. Wheaton
turned them over mechanically ; it was
not very long since he had been an Indi
vidual bookkeeper himself; he had en
tered innumerable checks bearing Porter's
name without giving them a thought As
the slips of paper passed through his fin
gers, he accounted for them in one way
or another and put them back on the
desk, face down, as a man always does
who has been trained as a bank clerk.
The last of them he held and studied.
It was a check made payable to Peck
ham. Fenton'a clerk. The amonnt was
$9,999.00 too large to be accounted for
a fAyment for aervicea; for Peckjbea
was an elderly failure at the law who
ran errands to the courts for Fen ton and
sometimes took charge of small collection
matters fur the lank.
A few days later, in (he course of busi
ness, he asked Porter what disposition
he should make of an application for a
loan from a country customer. Porter
rang for the past correspondence with
their client, and threw several letters to
Wheaton for his information. Wheaton
read them and called the stenographer to
dictate the answer which Porter had in
dieated should be made. He held the
client's last letter in his hand, and in
concluding turned it over into the wire
basket which stood on his desk. As it
fell face downwards his eye caught aome
figures on the back, and he picked it up
thinking that they might relate to the
letter. The memorandum was in r
ter's large, uneven hand and read ;
303
33
00!)
000
0000
The result of the multiplication was
identical with the amount of Peckham s
check. Again the figures held his atten
tion. Local securities were quoted daily
in the newspapers, and he examined the
list for that day. There was no quota
tion of thirty-three on anything; the
nearest approach was Clarkson Traction
Company at thirty-five. The check which
had interested ,him had been dated three
days before, and he looked back to the
quotation list for that date. Traction
was given at thirty-three. Wheaton was
pleased by the discovery ; it was a fair
assumption thnt Porter was buying shares
of Clarkson Traction ; he would hardly
be buying foreign securities through
Peckham. The stock had advanced two
points since it had been purchased, and
this, too, was interesting. Clearly, Por
ter knew what he was about -he had a
reputation for knowing; and if Clarkson
Traction was a good thing for the presi
dent to pick up quietly, why was it not
a good thing for the cashier? He waited
a day ; Traction went to thirty-six. Then
he called after banking hours at the of
fice of a real estate dealer who also dealt
In local stocks and bonds on a small
scale. He chose this man because he was
not a customer of the bank, and had
never had any transactions with the bank
or with Porter, so far as Wheaton knew.
His name was Burton, and he welcomed
Wheaton cordially, lie was alone in
his office, and after an interchange of
courtesies, Wheaton came directly to the
point of his errand.
"Some friends of mine in the country
own a small amount of Traction stock ;
they've written me to gnd out what its
prospects are. Of course in the bank we
know in a general way about it, but I
suppose you handle such things and I
want to get good advice for my friends."
"Well, the truth is." said Burton, flat
tered by this appeal, "the bottom was
pretty well gone out of it, but it's spruc
ing up a little just now. If the char
ter's knocked out it is only worth so
much a pound as old paper; but if the
right people get hold of it the newspa
pers will let up, and there's a big thing
in it. How much do your-friends own?"'
"I don't know exactly," said WheafcaJ
evenly ; "I think not a great deal. Who
are buying just now? I notice that it
has been advancing for several days.
Some one seems to be forcing up the
price."
"Nobody in particular, that is, nobody
that I know of. I asked Billy Barnes,
the secretary, the other day what was
going on. He must know who the certifi
cates are made out to ; but he winked
and gave me the laugh. You know
Barnes. He don't cough up very easy;
and he looks wjse when he doesn't know
anything."
"No; Barnes has the reputation of be
ing pretty close-mouthed," replied Whea
ton. "If your friends want to sell, bring in
the shares and I'll see what I can do
with them," said Burton. "The outsid
ers are sure to act soon. This spurt right
now may have nothing back of it. The
town's full of gossip about the company
and it ought to send the price down.
Your friend Porter's a smooth one. He
was in once, a long time ago. but he
knew when to get out all right." Whea
ton laughed with Burton at this tribute
to Porter's sagacity, but he laughed
discreetly. He did not forget that he
was a bank officer and dignity was an
essential in the business, as he under
stood it.
(To be continued.)
Cause for Grief.
Tall Actor Ah, Uudolps, why that
sad expression?"
Short Actor I cannot help it, me
lord. I die in the first act.
Tall Actor Oh, it might be worse.
Short Actor It couldn't be. There
is a real chicken dinner in the second
act.
A Tlea for the A'erille.
"Do you resent the rsirir.i tines they
publish of corporation kinds'.'''
"No," answered Mr. Dustin Stax;
"only I wish they would bp a little
more consistent, and not make us look
like jolly fat men, when most of us
are fighting dyspepsia." Washington
Star.
Our Ilettera.
The Customer I say, d'ye know you
half poisoned me with those beastly
mushrooms I hud here last week?
A Mysterious Whisper Then you
owe mo sixpense, 'Erbcrt I told yer
so. The Sketch.
DIjtKlng Holea.
"Not all the digging up for garden la
done in the back yard.
"No. One has to dig up consider
ably at the seed and hardware stores."
Kansas City Times.
True Affection.
He And you don't dislike me cause
I'm poor, do you, Sadie?
She Why, Eddie, I couldn't love
you any more if your father owned a
candy store.
Consumers of meat In New York
city are paying about 11 per cent more
for their food than they did one year
ago.
Good Hay Starker.
The sizes of timbers used in this
design for a hay stacker vary from 2
inches by 4 inches to 4 inches by
6 inches. The bottom pieces marked
1 are 12 feet long and 4 inches by 5
Inches, the side uprights are 14 feet
long; the cross piece 5 is 13 feet of
3-lnch by 5-inch stuff; No. 6 is
inches by 5 inches, and is bevelled on
the front edge to allow the hay to
slide over it easily, when being shoved
on by the sweep. No. 13 is 8 feet by
2 Inches by 4 inches, with the higher
end 8 feet above the ground, so that
when the stacker is on the ground the
weigh box No. 14 will be about
Inches from the two pulleys on the
HAT STACKER.
upper end of No. 13. The rope for
raising the stacker should be either
inch or inch and a quarter.
The teeth on the stacker can be
made of 2-lnch by 4-Inch pine scantling
10 feet long and bevelled on the upper
side-to allow the hay to slide easily.
The short upright teeth on the stack
er head should be about 5 feet long,
They are bolted to the long teeth
about 2 inches from the stacker head
No. 5 and rest against the stacker
head No. 6. The stacker arms No. 4
should be bolted to No. 2 with a large
bolt about 12 inches from the ground
Clean Farming Profitable.
Honest, now, don't you like to see
a farm kept clean of all unnecessary
trash and the fields clean of weeds?
It really adds to the worth of the
farm. In the eyes of the man passing
by it is a better farm than the one
beside it of equal soil, though weed-
grown and brushy.
A great many folks pay no atten
tion to the roadsides. Where a hedge
i3 the outside fence, we have seen
hedge brush grow from roots that had
been exposed by road grading, until
travel had actually been turned to
the opposite because of it. This
doesn't speak very well for the care
fulness of the farmer. Of course there
is always so much to do on a farm
that some of it never gets done any
one who has farmed for as short a
time as one year knows this but the
time required to do a little cleaning
up is really shorter than a busy man
believes. It is getting started at the
work that comes hardest. The excuse
of the man who does not have a clean
looking farm is usually that he does
not care about selling, and it Is worth
as much to him that way as any. He
does not figure In anything for satis
faction. Farmers' Mall and Express.
Summer Care of Horaea.
A great many horses are laid up
every summer with sore shoulders.
This can be remedied in a very large
measure with sense and care.
A good horse collar is the main part
of the harness and it should be of
the very best kind and fit the animal's
neck perfectly.
The collar should be kept clean at
all times and the horse's shoulders
well washed and brushed daily.
Much dust and dirt arise in the
fields and on the roads during the
warm season, and this is caught and
held on the moist and sweaty shoul
ders and collar, there to form hard
lumps and ridges.
Every time the collar Is put on the
horse it should be examined for those
ridges and lumps. If any are found
they should be carefully brushed and
rubbed away.
After each day's work, especially in
warm weather, bathe and clean the
shoulders with a mixture of warm
water, salt and soda. .
Hot water is one of the best known
natural agents for relieving soreness.
What a Good Coir Will Slake.
The milk produced by the average
Missouri cow in a year will sell for
about $50 at the creamery or when
made into first-class butter. A good
cow of the dairy breed will make at
least $50 cash income every year. I
have a list of about fifty Missouri
farmers who report a cash income of
$50 to $100 a cow every year, and
these figures do not Include the in
come from the sale of calves, and pigs
fed on the skim-milk. "But," says one,
"milking is a tremendous task." As
a matter of fact, it takes only sixty
hours, worth 15 cents an hour, to
milk a cow twice a day for ten
months.
The Honey Crop.
The annual honey crop of Maryland
li 1,000,000 pounds, which is an aver
age of only 20 pounds to each hive of
bees. Prof. Thomaa B. Symons of the
Maryland Agricultural College believes
that tbe average production of each
warm should be from 75 to 100
pounds.
ye-
Bitter Milk.
Bitter milk may originate from two
sources. The first source is dependent
upon the cow, while the second is due
to the growth of bacteria in the milk
after it has been drawn. The differ-
Lence between these two classes of bit
ter milk 13 that the first has a de
cidedly acid taste when freshly drawn,
while the second class is sweet when
taken from the cow, but the bitterness
occurs after standing for a short time
and increases in intensity. Bitter
milk when produced in the udder may
result from Improper feeding with
such of our Colorado herbs as lupines,
artemlsla and the like, or with the
raw Swedish turnips, cabbages, etc.
Bitter milk may be observed during
the last stage of lactation and has fol
lowed the infection of ducts with bac
teria which act on the proteids as an
enzyme, converting them Into peptones
and other products to which the bit
ter taste is probably due. Field and
Farm.
A taeful Dlrd.
A family of barn owls will number
from three to seven birds. It is diffi
cult to believe what a lot of vermin
and rodents a family of owls will con
sume. An old owl will capture as
much or more food than a
dozen cats In a night. The
owlets are always hungry. They
will eat their weight in food every
night and more if they can get
it. A case Is on record in which a
half grown owl was given all the mice
it could eat. It swallowed eight one
right after another. The ninth fol
lowed all but the tall, which for some
time hung out of the bird's mouth.
The rapid digestion of birds of prey
is shown by the fact that In three
hours the little glutton was ready for
a second meal and swallowed four
more mice. If this can be done by a
single bird what effect must a whole
family of owls have on the rodents of
a community?
Pure Water by Condenaatlon.
In the big desert of Chili there is
a considerable amount of brackish
water, but no water that either human
being3 or stock can drink. Science,
however, says the Los Angeles Times,
has come to the aid of this rainless
section of the country in the form
of an ingenious desert waterworks,
consisting of a series of frames con
taining 20,000 square feet of glass.
The panes of glass are arranged in
the shape of a V, and under each
pane is a shallow pan containing
brackish water. The heat of the sun
evaporates the water, which condenses
upon the sloping glass, and, made
pure by this operation, it runs down
into little channels at the bottom of
the V and is carried away into the
main canal. Nearly a thousand gal
lons of fresh water is collected dally
by this means.
Con vernation of Ileea.
In an article on bees and ants by
Gaston Bouwer in the Revue Heb
domadaire the writer contends that
these insects carry on conversation
among themselves and that, while this
is done by means of their feelers, they
are not entirely dependent upon them.
"A whole colony," says Mr. Bouwer,
"in an anthouse or a beehive often
responds instantaneously to a signal
which may have been given without
contact. It is interesting to see an
ant laborer for whom a burden is too
heavy go to a fellow, make a sign or
give a certain touch with his feeler,
and then see the second Insect Join
the first in lifting or moving the ob
ject."
If Thing Were Heveraed.
Moral: Respect the feelings of
your horses and protect them from
flies. Farm, Stock and Home.
Scoura In PlKa.
The following remedy for scouring
in pigs is recommended by a veterin
ary surgeon: Wash tnelr reed troughs
thoroughly with hot water and soap.
Rinse with cold water and then wash
with soda and water. Do this every
morning. Their milk should be kept
as cool as possible and free from con
taminating influences. Discontinue
their run on grass. Put a little pow
dered sulphate copper in the water
they drink net over two or three
grains to each pig.
8 I rnwhfprlm.
There are three common methods of
growing strawberries in hills, in nar
row matted rows or in wide matted
rows. We prefer the second method.
Arrange the first strong runners by
hand, spacing them properly and se
curing each one in place with a little
soil or a small stone. Then, when
each row Is full, cut off the addi
tional runners that may grow. Keep
the ground hoed and cultivated until
late fall. The finished row should not
be wider than 15 or 18 Inches.
TALK RICH OUT OF RICHES.
1'rlllo lTrea t'rlllclam Moat
. lifl'eeilve Weapon of the Poor.
Everything to-day depends upon
talking. It is futile to sentimentalize
about the vanity of speech or the so
lidity of action, like poor Carlyle.
There is no action that we can profit
ably perform toward a millionaire, ex
cept strangling him. If we can, at
every afternoon tea or society dinner,
say everything that is calculated to
make the wealthy people present feol
very uncomfortable, we shall have
done all that Is Immediately practic
and nhall not have lived in vain,
O. K. Chesterton says in Hampton's
Magazine.
Thus, if I were an American, I
should turn off every conversation un-,
til it came Into collision with the sub
ject of the trusts. If a young lady
began speaking to me and said: "Have
you seen the Velasquez at Vienna?" I
should reply (untruthfully), "Oh. yea
magnificent when he worked in oils
which reminds me that this oil trust
and so on. If the hostess said
with a smile, "Will you carve the
Hnnir-?- T hould answer with unscru
pulous enthusiasm, "Oh, I am quite at
home with the cold steei; in iaci, mo
atopi trust, etc." And if at last peo
ple began not to want me at dinner
parties, and timid conversationalists
fell back on the weather, i snouiu
. .. . . . n . 1 a aim
cry, Have mey yet uuwicu en
trust, a wind trust, or a sea trust;
That seems to me much healthier
than " But you quite under
stand.
Aftpr T had done this for a year or
two, even the trusts (though, as their
name implies, full of inuocent confi
dence) might have begun to suspect
me.
There is Indeed another reason why
we must to a great extent rely (for
the present) on speech rather than
action In our dealings with the mon
strosities of modern wealth. Unless
our action is mere lynching (and I
would npver denv that there is some
thing to be said for that), Instead of
what one calls political, it will not be
action against the very rich, but in
their favor. They hold all the han
dles of the political machine; and for
the nurnose of any prompt action they
have only to move the handles. That
the poor could conquer the rich at
last I believe, because I believe in
God and also in man. But that the
rich could conquer the poor by 8:30
to-morrow evening I am quite certain.
The whole press would bellow the
same tune over a million breakfast
tables.
The servants of the rich would have
run a million erranas, tne boiicuoi-3
and agents of the rich would have
struck a million bargains, before the
ordinary stonebreaker had even found
his pickax. The poor are sure but
slow.
Add to this that worst and wildest
work of modern science (more blas
phemous than its denial of God) its
invention of scientific war. The ser
geant wduld obey the captain, the sol
dier would obey the sergeant, and the
democracy would lie dead about the
streets before soldier, sergeant or cap
tain had realized that they were all
obeying a swollen and cynical pawn
broker. I Wit of the Youngsters I
Little Ethel (aged 3) Turn on,
gwanrna; supper Is weady. Grandma
Why, dear, you mean brpakfast,
don't you? Little Ethel 'Es, tourse I
does, but I tan't say it.
Little Myra had been to parties on
three consecutive days. "Oh, mamma,"
she cried, on her return from the
third, "Just think, I've had ice cream
three times In congestion."
Anxious Mother Harold, don't you
know those are bad boys across the
street for you to play with? Little
Harold Yes, mamma; but don't you
know that I'm an awfully good boy for
them to play with?
"Well, Bobby," said the minister
who was making a duty call, "what
do you Intend to be when you grow
up?" "An orphan," promptly replied
Bobby, who was still suffering from a
dose of parental discipline.
A Snrocnnf nl Kt peri lent.
A certain prominent minister was
compelled not long ago to give strict
orders that, while he was engaged
In the preparation of his sermons,
his young son must be kept reason
ably quiet. In spite of this, however,
there arose one morning a most as
tonishing noise of banging and ham
mering, which seemed to indicate that
the steam-heating pipes were being
knocked to pieces. Hurrying out of
his study, the minister encountered
his wife.
"My dear, what in the world Is
Bobby doing?" he asked.
"Why, he is only beating on the
radiator downstairs," was the some
what surprised reply.
"Well, he must stop It," the min
ister said, decidedly.
"I don't think he will harm it,
dear," his wife answered soothingly;
"and it is the only thing that will
keep him quiet." Harper's Weekly.
Shrevrd Scheme.
Traveler in Parlor Car Porter, thai
man in front will give you a quarter
for dusting him off, won't he?
. Porter Yessir;"
"Well, I'll give you half a dollar to
leave the dust cn him and not brush
It off onto me." Somerville Journal.