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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (March 26, 1891)
FIRE FANCIES. I m sitting hy my flmrtdn. In lt warm nhil nidily kIow, "While tho day U lowly ilylni; ' And the nh.nions omni nml go; And wltliln tint cloning embers Slmdowy forms seem to wo Shadows Hint brliiR back to memory I'rlcnil.H mid day onco deAr to ma And nlthoujrli tilts flreliRlit tlrenmhig I'lonKant Is, yet r.ti:i then rim Through it oil deep tones of wulnoss. Liko to uliiulows o'er tli sun; For the ilenr ones whose Rivix-t fnce 31 ado my heurt no rI.hI nnd Ray, They with whom I talked and Journeyed On each happy summer day -Now are nlw-.it; and I miss them As 1 r.lt nlone. to-ulitlit, Ail I seo thelr'drenmlaud faces In tho dim and flickering Ikjht. Tex some day In the far future. 1 our Father ilia it no, I shall meet the frfenda I dream of In tho flreliRht's ruddy ,k!oht. But to-night, when they nro absent. It Is pleasant Just to seo. In tho Rlowln;; light licforo mo. Knees of lho dear to mo So I sit nnd dream and wonder, In tho flro llama's ruddy rIow Whllo Ihodny Is slowly dyinj, And tho shadows coiuo and jro Good Housekeeping A Deep Hole. For the Inst 200 or IlOO yenra thero has bean much speculation umony scientific men as to tho exact cau.su of tho phe nomenon of earthquakes, which has in cidentally added new interest to the query: flow thick is tho earth's crust? In discussing the earthquake problem different schools of scientists have taken different views of tho matter, ono branch of them supposing tho "quako" to bo the result of an effort of tho great internal heat to escnpo through a wealc portion of the earth's crust: tho others declare that it is caused by shrinkage of the -outer Btrata on account of the cooling process going on deep down in tho Ixjwels of tho earth. About ten or twelvo years ago tho Ger man government made a gigantic olfort to Bottle this perplexing question for all timo to couia by sinking a shaft near the city of Schladebach, with tho object especially of obtaining trustworthy data concerning tho rate of increase of the earth's temperature with each succeed ing 100 or fraction of 100 feet of descent. At last nccounts the shaft had reached a depth of 1.802 meters, which is believed to bo the greatest depth to which man baa yet penetrated tho substratum of the globe. The temperature of tho shaft at tlio 1,300 meter level was 48 degs. centi grade, or 120 Fahrenheit. If this per centage of increase is maintained the boiling point of water will bo readied at about 11.000 meters, and at 45 miles the heat would be sufficient to melt any known substance. St. Louis Republic. j Derelved liy Appruruliue. On a Philadelphia train that came 'through here tho other day the pass engers derived considerable amusement from the actions of a handsome young man and a worried looking but still pretty woman. They were so entirely ' absorbed in each other that they were not beparated for a minute the whole trip. When she wanted to walk on the platform in Baltimore he promenaded wp and down at her sido, yet they never upoko only when necessary, and the people concluded that a honeymoon quar rel wash) progress. Nobody doubted for an instant that . they were bride and groom. When they got out hero to change ears for Rich icuond, their destination, tho conductor who knew the man well, said: "Well, so long. Hope you gel her there all right." "Oh, I guess , But she's a mighty slippery custmiicr, nnd 1 have to witch her like a cat." Tho good looking man was a deputy slioriiT, and was tak ing back to Richmond an unusually clever shoplifter that ho had tracked to Philadelphia and arrested. Washington Post. Afraid of Iteliic Hurled Alive. I for one am not at all surprised at the rather startling instructions in the will of tho late Duchess i'ozzo do Uorgo that in order to make quite sure of her death Iter heart should bo removed from tho body. Tho dread of being buried alivo in a condition of trance or coma is spreading curiously, and I liavo heard quite ;i number of people express a do-aire- to bo cremated, not upon hygienic grounds, but simply through a horror of being buried alivo. Tho supposod neces eity of sucli strong measures is not very (Uttering to the doctors, but that it is a frrowing idea is obvious. Lady'a Pic torial. A (it)llllu Vol I'll. Tommy Oh, I'm so glad you'vo como homo, papal Mamma has beou awful mean to me today. Mr. Skyllatt Ah, 1 am afraid you iiavo been it uaughty boy Did she spank you? Tommy No; but she scolded, and her voico sounded like it does when she talks at tho ice man down the dumbwaiter chaft Puck. Ex-Governor Long, of Massachusetts, possesses tho remarkable ability of recol lecting what he has writteu without reading it over oven by himself. It is said that during his inobt animated Hpoech ho has in his mind's eye a vivid impression of his manuscript, bo that ho knows where every pago aud every lino ends, and even where there are tutor linojitiona. Fowls hnvo undoubtedly a larger vo cabulary than any of tho other dotnostic animals; yet in half a day you will proba bly hear from them all tho Bounds that they uso in ordinary life But anything out of tho ordinary is instantly expressed In unusual sounds. Possibly tho most oxpousivo cigars over made wore tho 20,000 llnvanua made for Spanish Marshal Prim as a present for Napoleon 111, each cigar being stamped tvhh tho imierial N. in gold. They uro eald to have cost ita.000. Tho oor people of Russia have had a liard Unit) of It this winter. Terrlllo .vnowstorins hnvo prevailed recently throughout tho southeastern jwrtiona o'( itussls, and whole villages and numlwrs of Isolated houses liuvu been almost bu lled In snow. THING3 YOU CAN DO AT A DINNER. Wnys of niitortnlnlni; Your (Incut Which Aro Not Commonplace. It is very hard to invent anything new that will help to mako a dinner pass off well and mako it remembered. If one has inoney enough and brains it is less difileult, but there aro always so many people who have more money and quite as generous an allowance of brains who have done tho thing before nnd done it so much better. Tho gastronomic part of the dinner ss not considered that is a matter for the cook: but there is much more to a good dinner than food", although some people will deny this and call it absurd. There is a great deal in making tho diners at easo with ono another if they chance to be strangers, nnd that cannot bo done by substituting Little Neck clams for oysters. But it was dono very cleverly tho other night in this city whero some bright young peoplo of New York were to meet some as clever young people from two other cities. When they heated themselves they found a large, cqtiaro envelope at eacli plate addressed to each of tho dinner party, and with mutual bows of the head they opened them with some curi osity and read them with gradually in creasing smiles. Each note began abruptly as follows: "My Dear Miss," or "Mr.," as the case was, "This is to assist you getting along , well with the man for girl on your 1 right. His full utuno is , and ho is interested in , noted for , talks well on , and becomes tiresome on his special hobby, which is ." Then followed a warning not to speak of such and such topics, or to refer to this or that political, religious or public ques tion in terms of disrespect. Of course tho notes were at onco passed on to the man on tho right, and so on around tho tnble, and tho ice in conse quence was broken at once. It is just as well to remember, however, thnt the writer of the notes should possess great tact, and not too keen a sense of humor, becauso tho slightest jest which might offend would bo fatal. Tho opportunities in tho way of din ner cards and menu cards aro vast. Sometimes they can bo mado very pleas ant reading by clover quotations under tho names, which compliment or satirize tho diners, and hometimes thoy can be mado very valuable by autographs and sketches by clever artists. One man in Philadelphia, who is noted for this bort of thing, gave a dinner to a theatre party who were going to see Henry Irving, and had tho menu cards made of photographs of tho actor, with his and Miss Terry's autograph under neath. At another time ho gave a din ner at the Rittenhouso club to a dozen men, on which occasion the menu cards were printed without punctuation and in a solid block of type, something like this: "Littleneekclainspeasoupwhitebait if thestewardcanuotgetwhitebaitbroileds meltslambsbrains," etc. Tho card end ed with, "Chee.seaiidtheusualsweetthings coireeandlargefatexpensivecigars." Home menu cards now hnvo places for the autographs of tho diners, aud some time during tho dinner they aro started around tho table with stylographio pens, and every one present signs his uamo to every other person's card until ho gets his own back again. Now York liven ing Sun. A Loudon .Melliixl. London is covered with houses which have been huddled together anyhow by tho speculative builder, on borrowed money, and without much, if any, re gard for tho comfort or convenience of tho persons who aro doomed to inhabit them. How the thing is worked was brielly explained tho other day in the bankruptcy court. A receiving order was made against a builder who began business thirty years ago, admittedly without any capital. In duo time he became a bankrupt. That, wo may as sume, did not hurt him very much. At any rate, we shortly afterward find him carrying on his business again, and then in the cottugn of another nine years ho onco more found his way into the bankruptcy court. On that occasion there was the cheerful payment of one shilling in the pound an unusually largo dividend under tho circumstances. On ho went again, more g.iyly than be fore. Then ho "worked" boveral build ing estates with a firm of solicitors, but somehow or other that did not answer, and consequently that enterprising gen tleman mado his third appearance in the court. Thus do tho gods sometimes persecute those whom thoy love. Lon don Herald. Wood I.lku Steel. Jarrah wood forms tho subject of an interesting article in Tho Kow Bulletin. Thin -wood, a native of western Australia and a species of eucalyptus, lias soveral valuable properties which lit it for sjH'cial uses, but it is so hard that it cannot be easily worked with ordinary tools. Were it not for tho fact that nhips aro now mostly built of steel jarrah wood would form a valuable material for their con struction, for vessels built of it have after twenty-ilvo years' service been found as bound as when launched, although thoy have not been sheathed with copjier. The Kow authorities have tieon in com munication with soma of tho London yestries, and aa n result jarrah wood is being tried in tho London streets for paving purjvwes. Noiiivthlui; I.IUo I.eutlier. Student (from Pontefract, alias Pom fret) I say, professor, whatever did they mako soldiers' shoos of in Cuvwir's time? Professor Of leather, I presume. Was there anything more suitable in those days, do you think? Student No; but not tho kind wo use, you know. '0v do you think tho h'ldea of March would 'avo answered? Puck. The Xou-Cuiiiprrliuiulou of it Wortl. Tho Heart Waiter Isn yo gwiuo f tip mo, tuili? Mr, Hayborn Lord, no! I won't touch yer. You uin't lwon very 'tentivo, but I don't lay It up ug(u yer 'nough t' l hamU on yer Jud'v), GIVE ME THY HAND. Give mo thy hand When storms r.ro fiercely blowing, When mints nro shattered hy thi- angry blast, When nothing tells tho way thy ship Is gotnjy. When blackest darkness o'er tho 6ea U cost. Olvo me thy hand. Giro mo thy hand When every hresze h sleeping, When demon-like a dead iailm holds the spa. When iiatlfii'.ii imios, her tedious vljil keeping, When sea nnd slty hnvo naught of hope for thee. Giro mo (hy hand. Give me t!iy hand When every sail Is swellini; With IreshemtiK wind, when latichlnj-ls tho sky, Anil perfumed liroolh fiom distant flowers Is tell- hiK Of Isles enchnntod that before theo 11& Glvo me tliy hand. Olvo me thy hand In storm; hi on I m. forever, I haw thy heart fast hidden In my breast. For "od Ioiik hineo bus Joined our souls together. Ho lie: kou only on to heuveri and rest. Give me thy band. Eliza Limb Martyti In llnston Transcript. MICKEY FINN'S VIOLET. Out of the ground at the foot of tho big pine tree in I.indsley's wood there grew a violet. "Twas alter much hesita tion that the flower had pushed its way up through the carpet of hrown needles which covered it. and at last timidly showed its head. Every morning a slanting beam of sunlight shot through the branches of the big pine and kissed tho purple lips of the llower and drank tit) the beads of dew which nestled in its green leaves. After many days of strag gling tho (lower began to nfanufacturo its new spring bonnet. This bonnet was "woven in looms of air" and shaped by the "shuttles of the sun." Still, while this process was going on. tho flower often shrank and trembled as a vicious blast, lingering over from March, chilled its tender leaves. Hut one day, when tho sun was brighter than usual, tho bonnet opened itself and a subtle perfume came from it and mingled with the balsamic odor of the pine and the faint breath of the honeysuckle. 'Twas the can do co logne of the wood. A dainty bloom was this, and coqucttishly did it wave upon its slender stem. It seemed as if all the dwellers in tho wood had conspired to protect the llower. A big bumble bee was pilfering sweets from tho violet ono day when a bluo bird Hew down and gobbled it up. A red headed woodpecker picked up a bug which was gnawh g away at the violet's stem. A brown breasted robin tripping by stopped to look at the (lower. A squirrel lingered on its way til) a ragged oak, turned to inspect it, tlien whisked out of sight in the foliage. And every day the stem of the llower grew stronger and it perfume sweeter. Hut across the lields from beyond tho meadows there came ono day a destruc tiveanimal which consumed every green and living tiling Del ore it. iins was Mickey Finn's billv goat. It happened that the venerable old grnybenrd had gnawed the rope which hound him to tho stake in Stumpy Field and had gone on a little ramble. As ho ambled down tho Old Point road, dragging behind him about twenty feet of clothesline, he looked every inch a conqueror, nnd children hid'behind their mothers' skirts and peered out fearfully as ho went by. On arriving at tho wood ho sniired tho air redolent of fresh and growing things. After cropping tender grasses for awhile he grew tired of this ordinary faro and fed only on dandelion shoots and other dainties in the wood. Violet, you are in danger! The goat stood on the crest of a ridge, which ran like a great backbone through tho forest. lie looked olF upon tho river below him with a dreamy expression in his eyes, as if ho enjoyed tho scene. Sud denly ho turned his head and listened. Down the aisles of the wood came a faint "Halloo, Hilly, Hilly. Hilly!" Thero was It moment of silence, broken only by the soughing of the big pine. Then nliovo tho voices of the wood came tho call again, this time nearer by. The hoary anil wicked old truant lilted his head and uttered a nia-a-a-a of welcome. Ua re footed and Hushed with exercise Mickey Finn made his appearance. The most alTectionato relations prevailed be tween tho boy and the goat, which was bliown by tho ardent manner in which tho goat rubbed his head against tho boy's legs. Mickey picked up tho rope, and tho pair started homeward. Uowaro, violet! Tho way led past the big pine. As they went down tho slope of tho hill tho goat saw through the leaves tho twinklo of tho violet's blue cap. Ilo was eager to reach tho lower, but Mickey held him back with the rope. Thus struggling they went by the llower on n run. Mickey caught n gliinpso of tho violet as ho went by, however, and tho desire for Kxsscssion seized him. When tho goat had leen safely tied to n stake again aud the kerosene oil had been poured upon tho rope by Mickey to keep the graybeard from chewing it again, tho boy returned after tho (lower. Ilo took his "mother's lire shovel with him anil dug it up, carrying enough earth with tho plant to protect its roots. He planted it in tho front yard and built a littlo fence of sticks around it. Tho llower drooped and faded lor a day or two, then it resumed its pristine bright ness oi line, all us exquisite iiioom, an the subtle odor of perfume which it had liorno in tho wood. F.very morning Mickey wntered it from an old tomato can, and powdered Lie earth around it until tho soil was boft and loamy. Only tho morning sun was allowed to shiiid niton tho violet, for at midday tho hot rays would have blasted tho (lower. Under such fostering carp tho violet be came ambitious, and put out another stem. From the top of this btem there grew nnother bloom, with n yellow heart and with purple petals softer than im pcrlnl velvet. Hvery morning before ho went to bchool Mickey knelt over tho (lower, aud his nostrils dilated as the tierfumo greetcil his heckled nose. Then ho covered tho delicate plant with a roof of brown jcipcr to shade- It from tho noonday heat. All day long as ho toiled over his spelling book and primary geog raphy tho picture of the nodding violet dunced on the page before him. It ob scured tho naked savages in Term del Fuego; it came between littlo Miko's eyes nnd the Cape of Hood Hope, aud with tantalizing insistence interfered with the boy's spelling of "phthisis." In fact, violets nodded archly all over his desk. Hide, violet! Hut tho kerosene evaporated from tho rope which IkiuiuI tho billy goat, and he began to chew um it as ho hud in days gone by. Ho was in no hurry ubotit the job npjuirontly, for ho chewed' with jwiinstnking Krsfstency, knowing that patience always brings a recotn ikuisu for toil. After chewing for thrto hours without once relaxing his jaws, the ropo fell upai t. Qnuo more ho wu& free to roam at hit own sweet will over hill and ual in Ftumnv Field, anil t'en i i the balmy Lindsay's "Wood.if his fancy led him thiiher. Instead, however, ho went straight to the shanty. It hap pened that Mrs. Finn saw the goat com ing. She closed tho gate and made prej nrations for defense, but tho billy vaulted over the fence, and began his "old time foraging in the back yard for cabbago stumps and the juicy" potato paring. Mrs. Finn was afraid of tho billy. Fre quent encounters had'taught her he was not to be trilled with. She stood in tho kitchen door, armed with a clothes pole. When the goat came within reach she used this weapon upon the goat's back; but when the gtiat resented this famil iarity she retreated into tho kitchen, and closed the door behind her. After n ntt .iber of theso encounters the goat rambled around into the front yard. Here he led upon the fresh and juicy crocus and the budding hyacinth. Mrs. Finn looked helplessly out of the window at the destruction going on. She dropped a sad iron upon the billy's head, but lie only shook his head and resumed his feeding. A stovo plato roused a little more animation in tho i goat. Still be pursued his wicked under taking, j Take care, violet! i. When the goat reached Mickey's (lower ; he ate the brown paper first, and then ' with one fell snap of Ids jaws took in tho , precarious violet. This must have proved very toothsome to him, for ho lingered over the choice morsel like a gourmet ; until Mrs. Finn deluged him with a kettlo of hot water. Then he rolled ovx. on I the ground in pain. Finding no relief in this, ho jumped over the fence and went down the Old Point road at a gal I lop anil disappeared. After his departure Mrs. Finn went out to estimate the dam I ac;e. Suddenly it occurred to her that I Mickey would'be heartbroken if ho dis i covered that his violet was gone. How could sue repair tho tlamagcr lla: sho had it. Thero must be other violets in the wood. Flying down tho road went Mrs. Finn, lire shovel in hand. She climbed a stone wall and went headlong through a brake of blackberrv bushes in the wood. The birds were singing and the squirrels clattering overhead, but sho paid no attention to them. At last in a little shady hollow, her search was rewarded. Carefully sho dug up a line violet and started for home. She put it in the place where the other had been, and fifteen minutes later the brown paper was in position over the violet, and all signs of the goat's inva sion were removed. Then Mickey camo home. Tho first thing ho did was to cx ainino the llower. While Mrs. Finn was still busy washing the dirt from her hands her boy dashed into the shunt v. "Mother." said he with shining face. "Fwhat's tli mntther, me b'y?" "Me vi'let has t'ree (lowers. Wan o' thim growed since th' niornin'." "Ha. ha, mo bouchal! Faix, them wild (lowers grows mighty faslit this warrum weather." Mrs. Finn kissed tho rosy upturned face of her boy. and thev went out to gether to look "at the violet. Now York Sun. ReiiKldn Sneipips. Tli" best sealskins and tin majority of the- come from Alaska. Tho seals are cat .t near shore, and driven to seal pens on the land. Here they aro kept and fed for a time like other cattle until killing lime. They are not allowed to be killed until they are 2 years old nor after they are l. The skins of b:by seals are too tender, nnd tho old seals are kept for breeding. When they are killed tho skins are all packed in briho and sent to Lon don. It seems odd that sealskins which are obtained within tho United States have to bo taken out of it and carried over the long journey from Alaska to ling land to be cured and dyed, and then brought back to the United States again for sale. Such is tho fact, however. The best, and nbott tho only placo for pre paring sealskins is in London itself, on tho banks of the Thames, and thedirty water of the Thames is used in tho process. Several attempts have been mado to es tablish places in tho United States, but they have all failed, oven whero tho skilled workmen were brought over from tho English establishment. It may bo tho climate or it may bo thedirty Thames water which iiffcct3tho skins peculiarly. Whatever it is, tho samo skins cannot fo prepared here anything near as success fully as they can in London. Uoston Herald. Tho Object of Conveiutinn. That tho inahi object of conversation ought to be pleasant companionship would seem obvious enough: but tho fact, simple though it is, is often forgotten. Serious people sermonize, scientific people lecture and prosy peoplo prose, as if the end in view were moral improvement, or education, or a quiet nap, all of them certainly excellent things in their proper place, but that place is not conversation. In these days, when intellects uro more upon a level, it is dillicult to imagine ono person holding forth to his neighbors, say at an afternoon call, with solemn airs and affectations of superiority. Tho modern drawing room does not say unto tho prophet, "Prophesy unto us, or to tho philosopher, "Uivemoof your knowl edge;" it asks onlv for pleasant talk, for small talk, for talk in which all may snare. London tilobo. I'oUoneil by Nutmeg. "To our already forinidablo list of poisons," says Tho Loudon Hospital, "may bo added, as a source of occasional dan ger, tho fragrant nutmeg. It is not likely t.at adults will ever dio of eating nut megs; but the inquisitive- fingers of chil dren find their way to tho spico box, and theuco convey many things to theircuri ous palates. At least ono fatal case has occurred, where a boy of 8, having eaten two nutmegs, fell into a comatoso condi tion and died within twelve hours. The symptoms were similar to those of opium poisoning." A Costly Tomb. Tho Dukeof Hamilton's family mauso leum rivals anything of tho kind ever known. It cast 900,000. Tho tomb is a model of tho Castello di San Angclo at Home, and tho internal decorations aro superb, tho gates being n copy of tho Ghiberti gates at Florence, and tho cof fin of Duko Alexander, who built the mausoleum, is inclosed in an Egyptian sarcopnagus ot nincif marine, covered with hieroglyphics, which was brought from Alexandria. Now York Telegram. A citizen of "ew LTIm, Minn., onus a horso who e.es, hel claims, chango from n very light color to dark blue twonty-four hours before u change of weuthor. A spring of natural cologne has broken forth in tho southern part of Algiers. The liquid has not Irmhi unalywl, but its odor Is very similar to that of patchouli. STORIES ACOUT MEN. It Cost Tllloti r.O (Vnts to Itcar Ills Otto I.eettirr. Theodore Tilton was nlsmt to lecture nt a well known linll in Maine. Ilo arrived nt the door unattended, and inquired for tho nmnriKor. He was informed tliut ho va within, but could not lo disturbed, us the I jet uro was nlKiuf to commence. "ran I go in nnd seak tn him The humbly iikeil of tho highly iniHirttitit ticket taker. "Vrs, if you have got half a dollur." Tilton produced im eoin nnd passed into th- hall to listen to hi own lecture, lloou j sl the joko much, and suid It was a Rood i'-Tture and well worth tho price of admis sion. Fuirdelrt Journal. Grunt's Sorrel Wiir Hor. "The first timo I saw Gun. Grant to know him,'' said Muj. O-miun to a knot ot story tellers, tho other day, "was in tho Xovemler of 1SIW. I was then attached to Iluneock'-. heudiitinrlers, and was sent to carry n dis patch to Gen. Grant. It was mining for nil it was worth, and tho mud uUmt those Petersburg trenches was like plue. Putting my horse to a gallop, I was getting over th--ground at a good rate, nr.d soon I met uiv. pT.sed a solitary rider aatrido n little sorrel Iioi'mj. Tho man's slouch li'if was pulled down over his eyes, and the rain wits ecus ins i" streams down on the inmclio in which lit was closely wrapiH.il. A moment later I enme up with quite a group of ridere, and patching sight of a lot of jinlil braid, jtunptd nt tho conclusion that I luid struck soni" uenprnl's stair. I asked if f hoy know where Gen. Grant was, nnd ono of them said: "Why, boy, you'vo jie-t passed him."' "Without a word I wheeled my horso and dashed back to tho solitary figure nlieiid. As I eaino up ho seemed to take in the situation, for ho said sharply: " 'Who nro you looking for, young manr " 'Aro you Gon. Grant:' 1 asked eagerly. ' " 'My name's Grant,' ho iid stiilly, hold ing out his hand for lay dispatch. Then ho said: " 'Why didn't you come to mo at oncei' " 'I-I' " 'Well, whotr " '1 didn't think you were Gen. Grant.' " 'You didn't; Why didn't you I1 "I saw his eyes twinklo above his cigar, that must have gono out three or four weeks liefore, it looked so bad. So 1 ventured to lull tho fact: " 'Heeauso I didn't supposo Gen. Grant would rido such a looking Iioi'mj as that.' "He burst out into a hearty laugh, and Gen. Uadeau told mo afterward that it was tho first time for a wock he had heard Grant laugh. Tho general receipted on tho envelope for tho dispatch and ihsuiisMil ine, saying: " 'The next tune you an-sent to Gun. Grant perhaiH you will know him.' "Hut after that I took my dispatches to the chief of stair." Detroit Journal. A Joko on Iturlrl;li. A story is told in the corridors of the Delavan which is "oif lion. Henry G. J5ur leigli, of Whitehall. Ilo was seated on a sofa not long ago talking with Railroad Commit siouer Uaker, when a well dreved young man stepped up to tho telegruph desk aud began writing a dispatch. "Seo here, Hurleigh," remarked Mr. linker, suddenly, "I want to mako a littlo bet with you." Tho surrounding politicians pricked up their ears. "What about?-' asked the Whitehall wizard, curiously. "About a sure thing, of course," was the reply. "Do you see tliht young man at tho telegraph desk and tho nice seal .-kin gloves beside liiini I want to bet you that he walks oir when ho has fini.-hed his business and for gets to take those gloves." "Xonsense," was tho sago rejoinder. "Ho wouldn't forget anything o valuable." After a fow minutes, dialling tho bet was made aud tho surrounding group drew nearer to watch the result. Mr. Burleigh looked skeptical and Mr. linker contented. Finally the stranger buttoned his eoat und turned to go, but ho left tho gloves. "Hold on," shouted Mr. 15urlei,u after tho retreating stranger, "ou have forgot ten" "Sit down, Ilarleigh," said Mr. Daker calmly, "sit down. TIkho aro my gloves.'' Then tho watching multitude smiled a moist, odorous smile, and the bet was paid. Albany Kxprcs. "Whnr Dnt VenlV" Senator Lamar is reported as telling tho following story of hi.soxoneueeutn tolitical meeting in his own statu mxhi after the war. He was one of the speakers, and alluding to the civil war, suggested as a parallel ease th" parablo of the Prodigal Son and tho joyful reception at his homo when tho naughty boy returned. Ho was Micivoded by a negro, a Republican, who, after some general remarks, paid lus respects to Lamar's parallel. "For gibenl'' said he. "Dey forgilvn deni briga diers! Why, deyVo eomo .alkin' into do house an' bang do do' an' go up to do oV man an' say: 'Whardat veal."" Now York .Sun. Uncoil), Ciiltoin nml Darkey. Senator Culloin tells a story about a negro porter at Willurd's hotel in Washington who was always obsequious in hU attentions to hint. One day tho darkey looked up nt him nnd said: "Boss, you look pow'ful like Marso Abo Lincoln. Didn't you nebbor hab nobody tell you daU" "Yes," replied tho senator, "I have boon told that; but you know thoy say Mr. Lincoln was the homeliest man in tl j country." "Yes, I' knows dut, but you do 'soluble him most almighty much.'' Detroit Journal. A Doit Who AVoro Speetarles. An Optician I was told some timo ago tho following remarkable btory of a Kentucky ! dog that had lieeoino almost totally blind. The Mjuml of tho horn no longer aroused his blood, and while tho other dogs of tho houe went forth eagerly to tho hunt, the old . ntllictod animal remained liehiud, sad aud ' discouraged. While at play ono day soma children, who know tho iKior brute's infirmity, placed upon his no.-o a pair of common sjioctacles, tho ' glasses of which liappeued to lo very strong. Tlio dog at once awoke from his sttqior and showed his pleasure in unmistakable signs. Tim glasses wore thereupon adjusted in tho best passible manner so as to remain on tho rejuvenated animal's nose. The next morning ho started off to the, hunt with tho other dogs, anil soon it was ho who led tho jiaek. But unfortunately his spectacles bruhed up against a bush ai.it wore torn from their rusting place. The old dog allowed tlio others to pass him, and then picking up tho glasses ho carried them to hu master to have thorn readjusted. Tho dog is now a confirmed sjectaclo wearer, so much so that when anyone at tempts to remove his goggles ho becomes very savage, Jowohjr's Weekly. IVor u Kelapc. Doctor Dill you say to your huilmnd, Mrs. Hendricks, that, if ng-mmUlo to him, I would sond bill fur MH-viees rendred during his re cent sow illness Mrs. IlMidriukg Yw, deetor; aud ho thought you had tcttr wait until ho gets a littlo ktrongor. Ufa. Tlio Obi Man Ahead. "Xo, Mr. Samjison 0,-.rge, dear," Mid tVe girl. "I can never, never le your wife, but I will alwa3s Iks n" "Ah, darling," interivwvl oungMr. Ramp son, nnd his heart was throbbing the hut Urns off hi new silk vest, "w hy do you nddrww me in such an endearing term if itenn never, novcr lief" "Because, George, dear." and ngiln tlio name fell from her liH like music in the night, 'Tin to lie a mother to you in tho tpring. Your father" But the son-in-law had lied. New York Sun. Good New. T- ret Zr?i "Tom, have you hm J t!i6 ncwif , what is it f t "The schoolmaster is dead!" "Bull v ! Xow I can wear thinner pants. '' Life. " . A Keeper oT the Truth. A man, dressed in greasy overalls, went into a iipwspajier ofilco anil avked to see tho editor. When usked if tho eitv editor or some ether uinn on the force would not do as well, ho replied that he had come on very im portant business, and inut seo the editor-in-chief. When ut last his persistence had forced nn entrance into tho room where grer.t policies were outlined the editor said: "You were determined to see mo; now, as quickly as possible, state your business." "All right, sir. 1 like your paper, and I want you to have a chance of saying some thing" that will startle tho country. For some lime I have Wen engineer at Grayson's mill'' "Well, bat -what have I to do with thatf "Just hold on a minute. This morning tho boiler exploded" "Go to tlio eity editor if you want to hand in a piece of news." , "I thought that I would give you a chance to write a startling editorial." "I'ditorial the deuce! Wo have such acci dents nearly every day." "No, you don't. Just give mo a elmnco to get done, and you will thank we. No ono was killed when this boiler exploded." "That's nothing strange." 'And,' continued tho visitor, "no ono would have been hurt had the boiler exploded five minutes before it did." A Sitraugo expression settled upon the editor's face. "Will you pionso repeat thatf ho asked. "I say that no one would have been hurt hail the explosion occurred live minutes lief ore it diiL All other explosions that 1 over heard of would have been livo times as dis astrous if they had occurred a short timo before, for a party of young ladies or a com mittee ol gentlemen, or some important per sonage had, of course, just left tho mill when th- explosion occurred." Tho editor's eyes had grown wonderfully bright. "My dear friend," said he, "dear because you liavo chosen mo to bo tho orig inal recipient of this great piceo of intelli gence, lead on, and 1 will Pillow you. A man with such a glorious appreciation of tho truth is u rare jewel. Come, sit down lie sido me, that 1 may led your presence as I write. Stay by me, gentle keeper of tho truth, for my mind is stirred up, and I fain would muse." Arkansav.- Traveler. ISooiu Talk. Winter Visitor in Lower California (hold ing on to a tree and dodging fragments of barns and other pcrnwul property w hizzing past) You never ha. o hurriennesor cyclones here, I understand. Is this the regular thing in tho zephyr huef Resident (c!in;;in:; with desperate energy to a grapevi.i' ) 'fiio mildness of our cli mate, combined v. iiii the unsurpassed fertil ity of so.l nml t'i'e amazing abundance of our luscious tropical fruit, our entire freedom from destre.ethe storms and tho unexampled cheapness of our lands look out for that (ly ing horse trough! tin success that any man with a few hundred dollars can attain in vineyard planting, hop raising or hold on, can't you Don't bo m a hurry! With three acres of land hero and a cow (regretfully) there ho gw, sixty miles mi hour, townrd Santa Barbara! II he had stuck on two min utes longer 1 could h r.v convinced him, blast his prejudiced hide! Chicago Tribune. I'ii for the Coils. Young Man (to waiter) Waiter, I want some roast turkey. (Jive mo tho outsido slice oh" tlio breast, n nice, lar ,u piece of the liver, and, as I am hungry, you might bring mo both seeond joints. Waiter Yes, sir; nnythiu' else. Young Man (contemplatively) Yes, there is something more I intended to order. Let mo see Waiter I guess it must lio the earth, riow'll you have it cooked.' Now York Sun. Sollil Heals lor an O-trlrli. Al Give nio si worth of assorted hard ware, Ed Wh t d i you mean Al Tl-u s a'l nht , my wife hns a pot os trich. The bird must eat -Tid Bits. VEGETABLE PANAGEA PREPARED FROM ROOTS Be HERBS. FOR THE CURE OF AND ALL OTHER DISEASES ARISINO FROM A DISORDERED STATE ofTHE STOMACH OR AN inactive: liver. rOR SALC BY ALL DRUGGISTS & GENERAL DEALERS. QMiiiiTiiii iji i j im in rmiinroB