FIRE FANCIES.
I m sitting hy my flmrtdn.
In lt warm nhil nidily kIow,
"While tho day U lowly ilylni; '
And the nh.nions omni nml go;
And wltliln tint cloning embers
Slmdowy forms seem to wo
Shadows Hint brliiR back to memory
I'rlcnil.H mid day onco deAr to ma
And nlthoujrli tilts flreliRlit tlrenmhig
I'lonKant Is, yet r.ti:i then rim
Through it oil deep tones of wulnoss.
Liko to uliiulows o'er tli sun;
For the ilenr ones whose Rivix-t fnce
31 ado my heurt no rI.hI nnd Ray,
They with whom I talked and Journeyed
On each happy summer day
-Now are nlw-.it; and I miss them
As 1 r.lt nlone. to-ulitlit,
Ail I seo thelr'drenmlaud faces
In tho dim and flickering Ikjht.
Tex some day In the far future.
1 our Father ilia it no,
I shall meet the frfenda I dream of
In tho flreliRht's ruddy ,k!oht.
But to-night, when they nro absent.
It Is pleasant Just to seo.
In tho Rlowln;; light licforo mo.
Knees of lho dear to mo
So I sit nnd dream and wonder,
In tho flro llama's ruddy rIow
Whllo Ihodny Is slowly dyinj,
And tho shadows coiuo and jro
Good Housekeeping
A Deep Hole.
For the Inst 200 or IlOO yenra thero has
bean much speculation umony scientific
men as to tho exact cau.su of tho phe
nomenon of earthquakes, which has in
cidentally added new interest to the
query: flow thick is tho earth's crust?
In discussing the earthquake problem
different schools of scientists have taken
different views of tho matter, ono branch
of them supposing tho "quako" to bo the
result of an effort of tho great internal
heat to escnpo through a wealc portion
of the earth's crust: tho others declare
that it is caused by shrinkage of the
-outer Btrata on account of the cooling
process going on deep down in tho
Ixjwels of tho earth.
About ten or twelvo years ago tho Ger
man government made a gigantic olfort
to Bottle this perplexing question for all
timo to couia by sinking a shaft near the
city of Schladebach, with tho object
especially of obtaining trustworthy data
concerning tho rate of increase of the
earth's temperature with each succeed
ing 100 or fraction of 100 feet of descent.
At last nccounts the shaft had reached a
depth of 1.802 meters, which is believed
to bo the greatest depth to which man
baa yet penetrated tho substratum of the
globe. The temperature of tho shaft at
tlio 1,300 meter level was 48 degs. centi
grade, or 120 Fahrenheit. If this per
centage of increase is maintained the
boiling point of water will bo readied at
about 11.000 meters, and at 45 miles the
heat would be sufficient to melt any
known substance. St. Louis Republic.
j Derelved liy Appruruliue.
On a Philadelphia train that came
'through here tho other day the pass
engers derived considerable amusement
from the actions of a handsome young
man and a worried looking but still
pretty woman. They were so entirely
' absorbed in each other that they were
not beparated for a minute the whole
trip. When she wanted to walk on the
platform in Baltimore he promenaded
wp and down at her sido, yet they never
upoko only when necessary, and the
people concluded that a honeymoon quar
rel wash) progress.
Nobody doubted for an instant that
. they were bride and groom. When they
got out hero to change ears for Rich
icuond, their destination, tho conductor
who knew the man well, said: "Well, so
long. Hope you gel her there all
right." "Oh, I guess , But she's a
mighty slippery custmiicr, nnd 1 have to
witch her like a cat." Tho good looking
man was a deputy slioriiT, and was tak
ing back to Richmond an unusually
clever shoplifter that ho had tracked to
Philadelphia and arrested. Washington
Post.
Afraid of Iteliic Hurled Alive.
I for one am not at all surprised at the
rather startling instructions in the will
of tho late Duchess i'ozzo do Uorgo
that in order to make quite sure of her
death Iter heart should bo removed from
tho body. Tho dread of being buried
alivo in a condition of trance or coma is
spreading curiously, and I liavo heard
quite ;i number of people express a do-aire-
to bo cremated, not upon hygienic
grounds, but simply through a horror of
being buried alivo. Tho supposod neces
eity of sucli strong measures is not very
(Uttering to the doctors, but that it is a
frrowing idea is obvious. Lady'a Pic
torial. A (it)llllu Vol I'll.
Tommy Oh, I'm so glad you'vo como
homo, papal Mamma has beou awful
mean to me today.
Mr. Skyllatt Ah, 1 am afraid you
iiavo been it uaughty boy Did she
spank you?
Tommy No; but she scolded, and her
voico sounded like it does when she talks
at tho ice man down the dumbwaiter
chaft Puck.
Ex-Governor Long, of Massachusetts,
possesses tho remarkable ability of recol
lecting what he has writteu without
reading it over oven by himself. It is
said that during his inobt animated
Hpoech ho has in his mind's eye a vivid
impression of his manuscript, bo that ho
knows where every pago aud every lino
ends, and even where there are tutor
linojitiona. Fowls hnvo undoubtedly a larger vo
cabulary than any of tho other dotnostic
animals; yet in half a day you will proba
bly hear from them all tho Bounds that
they uso in ordinary life But anything
out of tho ordinary is instantly expressed
In unusual sounds.
Possibly tho most oxpousivo cigars over
made wore tho 20,000 llnvanua made for
Spanish Marshal Prim as a present for
Napoleon 111, each cigar being stamped
tvhh tho imierial N. in gold. They uro
eald to have cost ita.000.
Tho oor people of Russia have had a
liard Unit) of It this winter. Terrlllo
.vnowstorins hnvo prevailed recently
throughout tho southeastern jwrtiona o'(
itussls, and whole villages and numlwrs
of Isolated houses liuvu been almost bu
lled In snow.
THING3 YOU CAN DO AT A DINNER.
Wnys of niitortnlnlni; Your (Incut Which
Aro Not Commonplace.
It is very hard to invent anything new
that will help to mako a dinner pass off
well and mako it remembered. If one
has inoney enough and brains it is less
difileult, but there aro always so many
people who have more money and quite
as generous an allowance of brains who
have done tho thing before nnd done it
so much better.
Tho gastronomic part of the dinner ss
not considered that is a matter for the
cook: but there is much more to a good
dinner than food", although some people
will deny this and call it absurd. There
is a great deal in making tho diners at
easo with ono another if they chance to
be strangers, nnd that cannot bo done
by substituting Little Neck clams for
oysters. But it was dono very cleverly
tho other night in this city whero some
bright young peoplo of New York were
to meet some as clever young people
from two other cities.
When they heated themselves they
found a large, cqtiaro envelope at eacli
plate addressed to each of tho dinner
party, and with mutual bows of the
head they opened them with some curi
osity and read them with gradually in
creasing smiles.
Each note began abruptly as follows:
"My Dear Miss," or "Mr.," as the case
was, "This is to assist you getting along ,
well with the man for girl on your 1
right. His full utuno is , and ho is
interested in , noted for , talks
well on , and becomes tiresome on
his special hobby, which is ." Then
followed a warning not to speak of such
and such topics, or to refer to this or
that political, religious or public ques
tion in terms of disrespect.
Of course tho notes were at onco passed
on to the man on tho right, and so on
around tho tnble, and tho ice in conse
quence was broken at once. It is just
as well to remember, however, thnt the
writer of the notes should possess great
tact, and not too keen a sense of humor,
becauso tho slightest jest which might
offend would bo fatal.
Tho opportunities in tho way of din
ner cards and menu cards aro vast.
Sometimes they can bo mado very pleas
ant reading by clover quotations under
tho names, which compliment or satirize
tho diners, and hometimes thoy can be
mado very valuable by autographs and
sketches by clever artists.
One man in Philadelphia, who is noted
for this bort of thing, gave a dinner to a
theatre party who were going to see
Henry Irving, and had tho menu cards
made of photographs of tho actor, with
his and Miss Terry's autograph under
neath. At another time ho gave a din
ner at the Rittenhouso club to a dozen
men, on which occasion the menu cards
were printed without punctuation and
in a solid block of type, something like
this: "Littleneekclainspeasoupwhitebait
if thestewardcanuotgetwhitebaitbroileds
meltslambsbrains," etc. Tho card end
ed with, "Chee.seaiidtheusualsweetthings
coireeandlargefatexpensivecigars."
Home menu cards now hnvo places for
the autographs of tho diners, aud some
time during tho dinner they aro started
around tho table with stylographio pens,
and every one present signs his uamo to
every other person's card until ho gets
his own back again. Now York liven
ing Sun.
A Loudon .Melliixl.
London is covered with houses which
have been huddled together anyhow by
tho speculative builder, on borrowed
money, and without much, if any, re
gard for tho comfort or convenience of
tho persons who aro doomed to inhabit
them. How the thing is worked was
brielly explained tho other day in the
bankruptcy court. A receiving order
was made against a builder who began
business thirty years ago, admittedly
without any capital. In duo time he
became a bankrupt. That, wo may as
sume, did not hurt him very much.
At any rate, we shortly afterward find
him carrying on his business again, and
then in the cottugn of another nine years
ho onco more found his way into the
bankruptcy court. On that occasion
there was the cheerful payment of one
shilling in the pound an unusually
largo dividend under tho circumstances.
On ho went again, more g.iyly than be
fore. Then ho "worked" boveral build
ing estates with a firm of solicitors, but
somehow or other that did not answer,
and consequently that enterprising gen
tleman mado his third appearance in the
court. Thus do tho gods sometimes
persecute those whom thoy love. Lon
don Herald.
Wood I.lku Steel.
Jarrah wood forms tho subject of an
interesting article in Tho Kow Bulletin.
Thin -wood, a native of western Australia
and a species of eucalyptus, lias soveral
valuable properties which lit it for sjH'cial
uses, but it is so hard that it cannot be
easily worked with ordinary tools. Were
it not for tho fact that nhips aro now
mostly built of steel jarrah wood would
form a valuable material for their con
struction, for vessels built of it have after
twenty-ilvo years' service been found as
bound as when launched, although thoy
have not been sheathed with copjier.
The Kow authorities have tieon in com
munication with soma of tho London
yestries, and aa n result jarrah wood is
being tried in tho London streets for
paving purjvwes.
Noiiivthlui; I.IUo I.eutlier.
Student (from Pontefract, alias Pom
fret) I say, professor, whatever did
they mako soldiers' shoos of in Cuvwir's
time?
Professor Of leather, I presume. Was
there anything more suitable in those
days, do you think?
Student No; but not tho kind wo use,
you know. '0v do you think tho h'ldea
of March would 'avo answered? Puck.
The Xou-Cuiiiprrliuiulou of it Wortl.
Tho Heart Waiter Isn yo gwiuo f
tip mo, tuili?
Mr, Hayborn Lord, no! I won't
touch yer. You uin't lwon very 'tentivo,
but I don't lay It up ug(u yer 'nough t'
l hamU on yer Jud'v),
GIVE ME THY HAND.
Give mo thy hand
When storms r.ro fiercely blowing,
When mints nro shattered hy thi- angry blast,
When nothing tells tho way thy ship Is gotnjy.
When blackest darkness o'er tho 6ea U cost.
Olvo me thy hand.
Giro mo thy hand
When every hresze h sleeping,
When demon-like a dead iailm holds the spa.
When iiatlfii'.ii imios, her tedious vljil keeping,
When sea nnd slty hnvo naught of hope for thee.
Giro mo (hy hand.
Give me t!iy hand
When every sail Is swellini;
With IreshemtiK wind, when latichlnj-ls tho sky,
Anil perfumed liroolh fiom distant flowers Is tell-
hiK
Of Isles enchnntod that before theo 11&
Glvo me tliy hand.
Olvo me thy hand
In storm; hi on I m. forever,
I haw thy heart fast hidden In my breast.
For "od Ioiik hineo bus Joined our souls together.
Ho lie: kou only on to heuveri and rest.
Give me thy band.
Eliza Limb Martyti In llnston Transcript.
MICKEY FINN'S VIOLET.
Out of the ground at the foot of tho
big pine tree in I.indsley's wood there
grew a violet. "Twas alter much hesita
tion that the flower had pushed its way
up through the carpet of hrown needles
which covered it. and at last timidly
showed its head. Every morning a
slanting beam of sunlight shot through
the branches of the big pine and kissed
tho purple lips of the llower and drank
tit) the beads of dew which nestled in its
green leaves. After many days of strag
gling tho (lower began to nfanufacturo
its new spring bonnet. This bonnet was
"woven in looms of air" and shaped by
the "shuttles of the sun." Still, while
this process was going on. tho flower
often shrank and trembled as a vicious
blast, lingering over from March, chilled
its tender leaves. Hut one day, when tho
sun was brighter than usual, tho bonnet
opened itself and a subtle perfume came
from it and mingled with the balsamic
odor of the pine and the faint breath of
the honeysuckle. 'Twas the can do co
logne of the wood. A dainty bloom was
this, and coqucttishly did it wave upon
its slender stem.
It seemed as if all the dwellers in tho
wood had conspired to protect the
llower. A big bumble bee was pilfering
sweets from tho violet ono day when a
bluo bird Hew down and gobbled it up.
A red headed woodpecker picked up a
bug which was gnawh g away at the
violet's stem. A brown breasted robin
tripping by stopped to look at the (lower.
A squirrel lingered on its way til) a
ragged oak, turned to inspect it, tlien
whisked out of sight in the foliage. And
every day the stem of the llower grew
stronger and it perfume sweeter.
Hut across the lields from beyond tho
meadows there came ono day a destruc
tiveanimal which consumed every green
and living tiling Del ore it. iins was
Mickey Finn's billv goat. It happened
that the venerable old grnybenrd had
gnawed the rope which hound him to tho
stake in Stumpy Field and had gone on
a little ramble. As ho ambled down tho
Old Point road, dragging behind him
about twenty feet of clothesline, he
looked every inch a conqueror, nnd
children hid'behind their mothers' skirts
and peered out fearfully as ho went by.
On arriving at tho wood ho sniired tho
air redolent of fresh and growing things.
After cropping tender grasses for awhile
he grew tired of this ordinary faro and
fed only on dandelion shoots and other
dainties in the wood.
Violet, you are in danger!
The goat stood on the crest of a ridge,
which ran like a great backbone through
tho forest. lie looked olF upon tho river
below him with a dreamy expression in
his eyes, as if ho enjoyed tho scene. Sud
denly ho turned his head and listened.
Down the aisles of the wood came a faint
"Halloo, Hilly, Hilly. Hilly!"
Thero was It moment of silence, broken
only by the soughing of the big pine.
Then nliovo tho voices of the wood came
tho call again, this time nearer by. The
hoary anil wicked old truant lilted his
head and uttered a nia-a-a-a of welcome.
Ua re footed and Hushed with exercise
Mickey Finn made his appearance. The
most alTectionato relations prevailed be
tween tho boy and the goat, which was
bliown by tho ardent manner in which
tho goat rubbed his head against tho
boy's legs. Mickey picked up tho rope,
and tho pair started homeward.
Uowaro, violet!
Tho way led past the big pine. As they
went down tho slope of tho hill tho goat
saw through the leaves tho twinklo of
tho violet's blue cap. Ilo was eager to
reach tho lower, but Mickey held him
back with the rope. Thus struggling
they went by the llower on n run.
Mickey caught n gliinpso of tho violet as
ho went by, however, and tho desire for
Kxsscssion seized him.
When tho goat had leen safely tied to
n stake again aud the kerosene oil had
been poured upon tho rope by Mickey to
keep the graybeard from chewing it
again, tho boy returned after tho (lower.
Ilo took his "mother's lire shovel with
him anil dug it up, carrying enough
earth with tho plant to protect its roots.
He planted it in tho front yard and built
a littlo fence of sticks around it. Tho
llower drooped and faded lor a day or
two, then it resumed its pristine bright
ness oi line, all us exquisite iiioom, an
the subtle odor of perfume which it had
liorno in tho wood. F.very morning
Mickey wntered it from an old tomato
can, and powdered Lie earth around it
until tho soil was boft and loamy. Only
tho morning sun was allowed to shiiid
niton tho violet, for at midday tho hot
rays would have blasted tho (lower.
Under such fostering carp tho violet be
came ambitious, and put out another
stem. From the top of this btem there
grew nnother bloom, with n yellow heart
and with purple petals softer than im
pcrlnl velvet. Hvery morning before ho
went to bchool Mickey knelt over tho
(lower, aud his nostrils dilated as the
tierfumo greetcil his heckled nose. Then
ho covered tho delicate plant with a roof
of brown jcipcr to shade- It from tho
noonday heat. All day long as ho toiled
over his spelling book and primary geog
raphy tho picture of the nodding violet
dunced on the page before him. It ob
scured tho naked savages in Term del
Fuego; it came between littlo Miko's eyes
nnd the Cape of Hood Hope, aud with
tantalizing insistence interfered with the
boy's spelling of "phthisis." In fact,
violets nodded archly all over his desk.
Hide, violet!
Hut tho kerosene evaporated from tho
rope which IkiuiuI tho billy goat, and
he began to chew um it as ho hud in
days gone by. Ho was in no hurry
ubotit the job npjuirontly, for ho chewed'
with jwiinstnking Krsfstency, knowing
that patience always brings a recotn
ikuisu for toil. After chewing for thrto
hours without once relaxing his jaws,
the ropo fell upai t. Qnuo more ho wu&
free to roam at hit own sweet will over
hill and ual in Ftumnv Field, anil t'en
i i the balmy Lindsay's "Wood.if his fancy
led him thiiher. Instead, however, ho
went straight to the shanty. It hap
pened that Mrs. Finn saw the goat com
ing. She closed tho gate and made prej
nrations for defense, but tho billy vaulted
over the fence, and began his "old time
foraging in the back yard for cabbago
stumps and the juicy" potato paring.
Mrs. Finn was afraid of tho billy. Fre
quent encounters had'taught her he was
not to be trilled with. She stood in tho
kitchen door, armed with a clothes pole.
When the goat came within reach she
used this weapon upon the goat's back;
but when the gtiat resented this famil
iarity she retreated into tho kitchen, and
closed the door behind her.
After n ntt .iber of theso encounters
the goat rambled around into the front
yard. Here he led upon the fresh and
juicy crocus and the budding hyacinth.
Mrs. Finn looked helplessly out of the
window at the destruction going on.
She dropped a sad iron upon the billy's
head, but lie only shook his head and
resumed his feeding. A stovo plato
roused a little more animation in tho
i goat. Still be pursued his wicked under
taking, j Take care, violet!
i. When the goat reached Mickey's (lower
; he ate the brown paper first, and then
' with one fell snap of Ids jaws took in tho
, precarious violet. This must have proved
very toothsome to him, for ho lingered
over the choice morsel like a gourmet
; until Mrs. Finn deluged him with a kettlo
of hot water. Then he rolled ovx. on
I the ground in pain. Finding no relief
in this, ho jumped over the fence and
went down the Old Point road at a gal
I lop anil disappeared. After his departure
Mrs. Finn went out to estimate the dam
I ac;e. Suddenly it occurred to her that
I Mickey would'be heartbroken if ho dis
i covered that his violet was gone. How
could sue repair tho tlamagcr lla: sho
had it. Thero must be other violets in
the wood. Flying down tho road went
Mrs. Finn, lire shovel in hand. She
climbed a stone wall and went headlong
through a brake of blackberrv bushes in
the wood. The birds were singing and
the squirrels clattering overhead, but
sho paid no attention to them. At last
in a little shady hollow, her search was
rewarded. Carefully sho dug up a line
violet and started for home.
She put it in the place where the other
had been, and fifteen minutes later the
brown paper was in position over the
violet, and all signs of the goat's inva
sion were removed. Then Mickey camo
home. Tho first thing ho did was to cx
ainino the llower. While Mrs. Finn was
still busy washing the dirt from her
hands her boy dashed into the shunt v.
"Mother." said he with shining face.
"Fwhat's tli mntther, me b'y?"
"Me vi'let has t'ree (lowers. Wan o'
thim growed since th' niornin'."
"Ha. ha, mo bouchal! Faix, them
wild (lowers grows mighty faslit this
warrum weather."
Mrs. Finn kissed tho rosy upturned
face of her boy. and thev went out to
gether to look "at the violet. Now York
Sun.
ReiiKldn Sneipips.
Tli" best sealskins and tin majority of
the- come from Alaska. Tho seals are
cat .t near shore, and driven to seal
pens on the land. Here they aro kept
and fed for a time like other cattle until
killing lime. They are not allowed to be
killed until they are 2 years old nor after
they are l. The skins of b:by seals are
too tender, nnd tho old seals are kept for
breeding. When they are killed tho skins
are all packed in briho and sent to Lon
don. It seems odd that sealskins which
are obtained within tho United States
have to bo taken out of it and carried over
the long journey from Alaska to ling
land to be cured and dyed, and then
brought back to the United States again
for sale. Such is tho fact, however. The
best, and nbott tho only placo for pre
paring sealskins is in London itself, on tho
banks of the Thames, and thedirty water
of the Thames is used in tho process.
Several attempts have been mado to es
tablish places in tho United States, but
they have all failed, oven whero tho
skilled workmen were brought over from
tho English establishment. It may bo
tho climate or it may bo thedirty Thames
water which iiffcct3tho skins peculiarly.
Whatever it is, tho samo skins cannot fo
prepared here anything near as success
fully as they can in London. Uoston
Herald.
Tho Object of Conveiutinn.
That tho inahi object of conversation
ought to be pleasant companionship would
seem obvious enough: but tho fact,
simple though it is, is often forgotten.
Serious people sermonize, scientific people
lecture and prosy peoplo prose, as if the
end in view were moral improvement, or
education, or a quiet nap, all of them
certainly excellent things in their proper
place, but that place is not conversation.
In these days, when intellects uro more
upon a level, it is dillicult to imagine
ono person holding forth to his neighbors,
say at an afternoon call, with solemn
airs and affectations of superiority. Tho
modern drawing room does not say unto
tho prophet, "Prophesy unto us, or to
tho philosopher, "Uivemoof your knowl
edge;" it asks onlv for pleasant talk, for
small talk, for talk in which all may
snare. London tilobo.
I'oUoneil by Nutmeg.
"To our already forinidablo list of
poisons," says Tho Loudon Hospital, "may
bo added, as a source of occasional dan
ger, tho fragrant nutmeg. It is not likely
t.at adults will ever dio of eating nut
megs; but the inquisitive- fingers of chil
dren find their way to tho spico box, and
theuco convey many things to theircuri
ous palates. At least ono fatal case has
occurred, where a boy of 8, having eaten
two nutmegs, fell into a comatoso condi
tion and died within twelve hours. The
symptoms were similar to those of opium
poisoning."
A Costly Tomb.
Tho Dukeof Hamilton's family mauso
leum rivals anything of tho kind ever
known. It cast 900,000. Tho tomb is a
model of tho Castello di San Angclo at
Home, and tho internal decorations aro
superb, tho gates being n copy of tho
Ghiberti gates at Florence, and tho cof
fin of Duko Alexander, who built the
mausoleum, is inclosed in an Egyptian
sarcopnagus ot nincif marine, covered
with hieroglyphics, which was brought
from Alexandria. Now York Telegram.
A citizen of "ew LTIm, Minn., onus a
horso who e.es, hel claims, chango
from n very light color to dark blue
twonty-four hours before u change of
weuthor.
A spring of natural cologne has broken
forth in tho southern part of Algiers.
The liquid has not Irmhi unalywl, but its
odor Is very similar to that of patchouli.
STORIES ACOUT MEN.
It Cost Tllloti r.O (Vnts to Itcar Ills Otto
I.eettirr.
Theodore Tilton was nlsmt to lecture nt a
well known linll in Maine. Ilo arrived nt
the door unattended, and inquired for tho
nmnriKor. He was informed tliut ho va
within, but could not lo disturbed, us the
I jet uro was nlKiuf to commence.
"ran I go in nnd seak tn him The humbly
iikeil of tho highly iniHirttitit ticket taker.
"Vrs, if you have got half a dollur."
Tilton produced im eoin nnd passed into
th- hall to listen to hi own lecture, lloou
j sl the joko much, and suid It was a Rood
i'-Tture and well worth tho price of admis
sion. Fuirdelrt Journal.
Grunt's Sorrel Wiir Hor.
"The first timo I saw Gun. Grant to know
him,'' said Muj. O-miun to a knot ot story
tellers, tho other day, "was in tho Xovemler
of 1SIW. I was then attached to Iluneock'-.
heudiitinrlers, and was sent to carry n dis
patch to Gen. Grant. It was mining for nil
it was worth, and tho mud uUmt those
Petersburg trenches was like plue. Putting
my horse to a gallop, I was getting over th--ground
at a good rate, nr.d soon I met uiv.
pT.sed a solitary rider aatrido n little sorrel
Iioi'mj. Tho man's slouch li'if was pulled
down over his eyes, and the rain wits ecus
ins i" streams down on the inmclio in which
lit was closely wrapiH.il. A moment later I
enme up with quite a group of ridere, and
patching sight of a lot of jinlil braid, jtunptd
nt tho conclusion that I luid struck soni"
uenprnl's stair. I asked if f hoy know where
Gen. Grant was, nnd ono of them said:
"Why, boy, you'vo jie-t passed him."'
"Without a word I wheeled my horso and
dashed back to tho solitary figure nlieiid. As
I eaino up ho seemed to take in the situation,
for ho said sharply:
" 'Who nro you looking for, young manr
" 'Aro you Gon. Grant:' 1 asked eagerly.
' " 'My name's Grant,' ho iid stiilly, hold
ing out his hand for lay dispatch. Then ho
said:
" 'Why didn't you come to mo at oncei'
" 'I-I'
" 'Well, whotr
" '1 didn't think you were Gen. Grant.'
" 'You didn't; Why didn't you I1
"I saw his eyes twinklo above his cigar,
that must have gono out three or four weeks
liefore, it looked so bad. So 1 ventured to
lull tho fact:
" 'Heeauso I didn't supposo Gen. Grant
would rido such a looking Iioi'mj as that.'
"He burst out into a hearty laugh, and
Gen. Uadeau told mo afterward that it was
tho first time for a wock he had heard Grant
laugh. Tho general receipted on tho envelope
for tho dispatch and ihsuiisMil ine, saying:
" 'The next tune you an-sent to Gun. Grant
perhaiH you will know him.'
"Hut after that I took my dispatches to the
chief of stair." Detroit Journal.
A Joko on Iturlrl;li.
A story is told in the corridors of the
Delavan which is "oif lion. Henry G. J5ur
leigli, of Whitehall. Ilo was seated on a sofa
not long ago talking with Railroad Commit
siouer Uaker, when a well dreved young man
stepped up to tho telegruph desk aud began
writing a dispatch.
"Seo here, Hurleigh," remarked Mr. linker,
suddenly, "I want to mako a littlo bet with
you."
Tho surrounding politicians pricked up
their ears.
"What about?-' asked the Whitehall
wizard, curiously.
"About a sure thing, of course," was the
reply. "Do you see tliht young man at tho
telegraph desk and tho nice seal .-kin gloves
beside liiini I want to bet you that he walks
oir when ho has fini.-hed his business and for
gets to take those gloves."
"Xonsense," was tho sago rejoinder. "Ho
wouldn't forget anything o valuable."
After a fow minutes, dialling tho bet was
made aud tho surrounding group drew
nearer to watch the result. Mr. Burleigh
looked skeptical and Mr. linker contented.
Finally the stranger buttoned his eoat und
turned to go, but ho left tho gloves.
"Hold on," shouted Mr. 15urlei,u after tho
retreating stranger, "ou have forgot
ten" "Sit down, Ilarleigh," said Mr. Daker
calmly, "sit down. TIkho aro my gloves.''
Then tho watching multitude smiled a
moist, odorous smile, and the bet was paid.
Albany Kxprcs.
"Whnr Dnt VenlV"
Senator Lamar is reported as telling tho
following story of hi.soxoneueeutn tolitical
meeting in his own statu mxhi after the war.
He was one of the speakers, and alluding to
the civil war, suggested as a parallel ease th"
parablo of the Prodigal Son and tho joyful
reception at his homo when tho naughty boy
returned. Ho was Micivoded by a negro, a
Republican, who, after some general remarks,
paid lus respects to Lamar's parallel. "For
gibenl'' said he. "Dey forgilvn deni briga
diers! Why, deyVo eomo .alkin' into do
house an' bang do do' an' go up to do oV man
an' say: 'Whardat veal."" Now York .Sun.
Uncoil), Ciiltoin nml Darkey.
Senator Culloin tells a story about a negro
porter at Willurd's hotel in Washington who
was always obsequious in hU attentions to
hint. One day tho darkey looked up nt him
nnd said: "Boss, you look pow'ful like Marso
Abo Lincoln. Didn't you nebbor hab nobody
tell you daU" "Yes," replied tho senator, "I
have boon told that; but you know thoy say
Mr. Lincoln was the homeliest man in tl j
country." "Yes, I' knows dut, but you do
'soluble him most almighty much.'' Detroit
Journal.
A Doit Who AVoro Speetarles.
An Optician I was told some timo ago tho
following remarkable btory of a Kentucky !
dog that had lieeoino almost totally blind.
The Mjuml of tho horn no longer aroused his
blood, and while tho other dogs of tho houe
went forth eagerly to tho hunt, the old .
ntllictod animal remained liehiud, sad aud '
discouraged.
While at play ono day soma children, who
know tho iKior brute's infirmity, placed upon
his no.-o a pair of common sjioctacles, tho '
glasses of which liappeued to lo very strong.
Tlio dog at once awoke from his sttqior and
showed his pleasure in unmistakable signs.
Tim glasses wore thereupon adjusted in tho
best passible manner so as to remain on tho
rejuvenated animal's nose.
The next morning ho started off to the,
hunt with tho other dogs, anil soon it was ho
who led tho jiaek. But unfortunately his
spectacles bruhed up against a bush ai.it
wore torn from their rusting place. The old
dog allowed tlio others to pass him, and then
picking up tho glasses ho carried them to
hu master to have thorn readjusted.
Tho dog is now a confirmed sjectaclo
wearer, so much so that when anyone at
tempts to remove his goggles ho becomes
very savage, Jowohjr's Weekly.
IVor u Kelapc.
Doctor Dill you say to your huilmnd, Mrs.
Hendricks, that, if ng-mmUlo to him, I would
sond bill fur MH-viees rendred during his re
cent sow illness
Mrs. IlMidriukg Yw, deetor; aud ho
thought you had tcttr wait until ho gets a
littlo ktrongor. Ufa.
Tlio Obi Man Ahead.
"Xo, Mr. Samjison 0,-.rge, dear," Mid
tVe girl. "I can never, never le your wife,
but I will alwa3s Iks n"
"Ah, darling," interivwvl oungMr. Ramp
son, nnd his heart was throbbing the hut Urns
off hi new silk vest, "w hy do you nddrww
me in such an endearing term if itenn never,
novcr lief"
"Because, George, dear." and ngiln tlio
name fell from her liH like music in the
night, 'Tin to lie a mother to you in tho
tpring. Your father"
But the son-in-law had lied. New York
Sun.
Good New.
T- ret Zr?i
"Tom, have you hm J t!i6 ncwif
, what is it f t
"The schoolmaster is dead!"
"Bull v ! Xow I can wear thinner pants. ''
Life. " .
A Keeper oT the Truth.
A man, dressed in greasy overalls, went
into a iipwspajier ofilco anil avked to see tho
editor. When usked if tho eitv editor or
some ether uinn on the force would not do as
well, ho replied that he had come on very im
portant business, and inut seo the editor-in-chief.
When ut last his persistence had
forced nn entrance into tho room where
grer.t policies were outlined the editor said:
"You were determined to see mo; now, as
quickly as possible, state your business."
"All right, sir. 1 like your paper, and I
want you to have a chance of saying some
thing" that will startle tho country. For
some lime I have Wen engineer at Grayson's
mill''
"Well, bat -what have I to do with thatf
"Just hold on a minute. This morning tho
boiler exploded"
"Go to tlio eity editor if you want to hand
in a piece of news." ,
"I thought that I would give you a chance
to write a startling editorial."
"I'ditorial the deuce! Wo have such acci
dents nearly every day."
"No, you don't. Just give mo a elmnco to
get done, and you will thank we. No ono
was killed when this boiler exploded."
"That's nothing strange."
'And,' continued tho visitor, "no ono
would have been hurt had the boiler exploded
five minutes before it did."
A Sitraugo expression settled upon the
editor's face. "Will you pionso repeat thatf
ho asked.
"I say that no one would have been hurt
hail the explosion occurred live minutes lief ore
it diiL All other explosions that 1 over
heard of would have been livo times as dis
astrous if they had occurred a short timo
before, for a party of young ladies or a com
mittee ol gentlemen, or some important per
sonage had, of course, just left tho mill when
th- explosion occurred."
Tho editor's eyes had grown wonderfully
bright. "My dear friend," said he, "dear
because you liavo chosen mo to bo tho orig
inal recipient of this great piceo of intelli
gence, lead on, and 1 will Pillow you. A
man with such a glorious appreciation of tho
truth is u rare jewel. Come, sit down lie
sido me, that 1 may led your presence as I
write. Stay by me, gentle keeper of tho
truth, for my mind is stirred up, and I fain
would muse." Arkansav.- Traveler.
ISooiu Talk.
Winter Visitor in Lower California (hold
ing on to a tree and dodging fragments of
barns and other pcrnwul property w hizzing
past) You never ha. o hurriennesor cyclones
here, I understand. Is this the regular thing
in tho zephyr huef
Resident (c!in;;in:; with desperate energy
to a grapevi.i' ) 'fiio mildness of our cli
mate, combined v. iiii the unsurpassed fertil
ity of so.l nml t'i'e amazing abundance of our
luscious tropical fruit, our entire freedom
from destre.ethe storms and tho unexampled
cheapness of our lands look out for that (ly
ing horse trough! tin success that any man
with a few hundred dollars can attain in
vineyard planting, hop raising or hold on,
can't you Don't bo m a hurry! With three
acres of land hero and a cow (regretfully)
there ho gw, sixty miles mi hour, townrd
Santa Barbara! II he had stuck on two min
utes longer 1 could h r.v convinced him, blast
his prejudiced hide! Chicago Tribune.
I'ii for the Coils.
Young Man (to waiter) Waiter, I want
some roast turkey. (Jive mo tho outsido slice
oh" tlio breast, n nice, lar ,u piece of the liver,
and, as I am hungry, you might bring mo
both seeond joints.
Waiter Yes, sir; nnythiu' else.
Young Man (contemplatively) Yes, there
is something more I intended to order. Let
mo see
Waiter I guess it must lio the earth,
riow'll you have it cooked.' Now York Sun.
Sollil Heals lor an O-trlrli.
Al Give nio si worth of assorted hard
ware, Ed Wh t d i you mean
Al Tl-u s a'l nht , my wife hns a pot os
trich. The bird must eat -Tid Bits.
VEGETABLE PANAGEA
PREPARED FROM
ROOTS Be HERBS.
FOR THE CURE OF
AND ALL OTHER DISEASES
ARISINO FROM A
DISORDERED STATE ofTHE STOMACH
OR AN
inactive: liver.
rOR SALC BY ALL
DRUGGISTS & GENERAL DEALERS.
QMiiiiTiiii iji i j im in rmiinroB