Image provided by: University of Oregon Libraries; Eugene, OR
About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (Feb. 20, 1890)
Y Dop, Can TnlU. A curious sight was witnessed ono afternoon on tho wharf at Cincinnati. A gentleman, accompanied by two fine specimens of tho water spaniel, went down to tho landing of the New port ferry, at tho foot of Lawrence street. Somehow ho became separated from the canines, or rather they failed to follow him aboard. The boat had got out in the stream, when the dogs caught sight of their master and dis covered he was fast leaving them. Standing on the edge of the lloat. thev both set up a vigorous yelpimr. which attracted the attention of tho bystand ers. Suddenly the older and larger dog plunged into tho river and began to swim rapidly toward tho Kentucky shore, llo had gono about 101) yards when he seemed to become aware that his brute companion had not followed. Turningaround, ho swam back toward tho spot where tho younger dog stood. As ho drew alongside tho lloat he made no effort to get aboard. The two began to bark at each other to hold an animated conversation in tho dog tongue, as it were. Tho older dog, as ho lloateil by tho side of tho landimr. barked encouragement to the more timid animal, and apparently was urg ing tho latter to jump into tho water. Tho barking duet lasted some minutes, and then the younger dog, seemingly convinced by his companion's assur ance, grew bold, and suddenly bound ed into tho river. Tho first dog gave a delighted yelp, and, both turning their noses toward Kentucky, began to swim straight across, side by side. Both continued to bark until they reached tho shore, and could bo heard on both sides of tho river. Tho people on tho ferry and tho Kentucky shoro saw tho strange race, and, with people on this sido and on tho bridge, watched it to tho end. Tho dogs landed opposito to tho bar racks, where they wero awaited by their owner, who, with several other gentlemen, had hurriedly walked down tho bank. Thcro was no limit to the delight of tho two animals as they rushed up to their master. Tho river at that point is nearly half a mile wide. Tho action of tho dogs seemed to indicate that they had a lan guage of their own, and the paternal manifestations of tho elder brute were most interesting to see. Cincinnati Commercial Gazette. rumllhir (Jiiiitntloiis. The number of quotablo and much quoted tilings in The Merry Wives is considerable. Shakespeare had an ex traordinary knack of saying what would bear repetition, and prove a future bon mot, in all manner of al tered circumstances. Ilow often have wo not occasion to remark with Nym, "His mind is not heroic, and there's tho humor of it." But how seldom, alas I in tho changes and chances of mortal dinnerparties, can ono observe about tho lady who sits next him at tho feast. "1 spy entertainment in hurl" "You are not young, no more am I," is a quotation more frequently appro priate, though never to be ventured. Again, "Ho wooes both high and low, both rich and poor" how well it corresponds with the charming modern vulgarism, "George is a general cour ter, up with all, on with none." Often we are tempted to exclaim with Shal low, "Though we are justices, and doc tors, and churchmen, Master Pago, we have some salt of our youth in us; we are the sons of women, Master Pago." Nor is any quotation from all Shake speare more frequently in tho human mouth than that of Mrs. Page, "What tho dickens." "Tho wild Prince and Poins," spoken of by Mr. Pago, runs now as a mere 'Household word; anil a household word is tho jolly , host's de scription of Kenton: "Ho capers, he dances, ho has eyes of youth, ho writes voices, ho speaks holyday, ho smells April and May." This is Chaucerian : "Ho was as fresh as tho moneth of May." Who but Shakespeare could have put tho essence of youth into so few words, and those in the host's mouth? Andrew Lang in Harper's Magazine. A Good Subject. The nativo Egyptian is an extremely good subject for surgical operation. ClotBev, the founder of modern medi cine in Egypt, has it that "it requires as much surgery to kill ono Egyptian as seven Europeans. In the nativo hospital tho man whoso thigh is ampu tated at 2 o'clock is sitting up and lively at six." Shock is almost entire ly unknown, and dread of an ini punding operation quite an exception. In explanation may bo noted the res ignation inculcated by thuir religion; tno vorv small proportion of meat thoveat'aud tho total absence of al cohol from their diot, and in general their regular, abstemious out of door lifo. Science. Ar Ingenious Prisoner. A prisoner who was being taken with some other criminals 'in a train from Lo Mans to Sillo le Guillaumo con trived . to etl'ect his escape in a very clever manner. Each of tho culprits was in a small cell, and, having man aged to conceal a saw about his person, tho captive in question set to work on tho lloor. Ho succeeded in sawing out a pieco of wood sulliciently largo to enable him to drop on tho lino when tho train stopped at a station, and his oscapo was not discovered until tho party arrived at their destination. Now York Post. Hie Itust of C(i-ar Aus.'H'.tiii. Two yours ago last summer, at a kir moss given in Koone, a bronzo butt of C:usar Augustus, loaned by Mrs. C. II. Faulkner, disappeared and was sup posed to have been stolon. A fow mornings ago tho missing bust was found on Mrs. Faulkner's front steps, whuro it had evidently been left by some person during tho night. Con cord People and Patriot. Sometime' ' the Stronc. "That rival of yours scorns to bo in n fair way to cut you out Hosu pretty athletic follow. Are you not afraid of him?" "1? Oh, no; but her father is. so ho has a better show than i have. Harper's 15aw A SlniiiKo Peiinlvuiiln Accident. Vre were tho victim yesterday of one of tho most distressing accidents over known in this torritory, writer tho editor of tho Milllin Center (Pn.) Blade. Yesterday morning our wifo took occasion to do tho family wash ing, having been kept from it earlier in the week by being very busy-putting up our winter supply of apple but ter. Among other articles of ; wear ing apparel which she included in the wasli was our white vest, rightly thinking that the white vest days were about over, and intending to do it up and lay it away against tho return of the next picnic season. Now, unbeknown to her, in the lower right hand pocket of this vest there was a large roll of bills, twelve ones and a two $1-1 in all. She did not discover tho roll, and after having v ashed the garment thoroughly she hung i out on the line in the Imck yard to dry. All might yet have been well had it not been for Mr. Ferden baugh's large brindle cow, which is well known to most of our citizens. While our wifo was in the parlor visiting with Mrs. Pannley, who call ed to see how to make her grape pre- I serves jell, this beast she deserves no better name broke through our back gate and deliberately ate lip our vest, money and all 1 When our wifo reach ed the scene of trouble the beast was just swallowing tho last bill, with evi dent relish. Our wife seized the mon and rushed at the marauding intruder, but sbo onlv tossed her head, kicked sideways with both hind feet, and leaping light ly over tho fence trotted oil", switch ing her tail deliautly. Neither tho vest nor tho money, wo are sorry to say, seemed to havo any Kad etl'ect on her scoundrelly good health. Our wife imniediatelv informed us of the accident, and wo instantly called on Mr. Ferdenbaugh and demanded that the animal be slaughtered, doubt ing not that wo should lindour money in tho first of that suite of stomachs witli which we learn from physiology tho cow is provided. This Mr. Ferden baugh refused to assent to. lie pleaded that he was a poor man. and, as he had recently bought the cow, that all his ready money was in her. We nut urally replied that all of our ready money was in her, too, but it failed to move him. It was a sad affair, take it all around, but one abom which nothing can be done. Our wife's excuse for not looking in tho pockets before she began her laundry operations is that she had gone through our pockets for money for twenty years and never found any, and had therefore become discourage 1. And, if the reader will believe it. that beast of a cow had Uk oH'rontery about tho middle of tho af ternoon to lio down under a tree di rectly opposito our house and content edly "chew her cud remasticating our $11, we doubt not. Remember, yo editor needs money worse than ever since the cow ate up that roll of bills. Pay up, you de linquents! Cordwood taken tho same as cash in fact, wo had rather have it the cow can't more than gnaw tho bark oil' that at tho worst. Tlio Zctctlc Philosophy. The Zetetio philosophy, which proves absolutely and without a shad ow of doubt that the earth is a plane and not a planet, has in it no theories, but establishes its conclusions upon facts alone. Many of these facts are of such a nature that not to know all about them will soon bo deemed a sin of ignorance. Tlio people should know that tho surface of standing water is level, whether it bo in the form of a pond, a L lake, a canal, a sea or an ocean, and that it makes no ditlcrcnco at all now many people, in consequence of false teachings, believe it to be curved; that m no surveyors operations in tho con structions of railroads, tunnels or ca nals is any "allowance niado for the curvature" of the earth's surface, al though the books tell us that it is nec essary: that tho view from a balloon in tlio nir is that of a Hat earth, and not a globe; that the river Paraguay in 1300 miles does not fall a foot; that for the last 500 miles tho Amazon falls but ton feet six inches, and that the Nile, in 1,000 miles, falls but a foot. Sailors can see the light at Capo Ilatteras forty miles out at sea, where as on the globe theory it ought to be more than 1)00 feet below tho level line of sight; strain your eyes as you please, you can never seo a ship com ing "up," for, at tho furthest distuned that you can by any means see, a ship is on a lovpl with tho eye; the horizon always rises on and on just as you rise on; if the mariner wero to tako a "globe" with him with which to navigate tho ocean ho would wreck' his ship; meridians are straight lines diverging from the central north to ward tho south in all directions hori zontally "parallels of latitude" onl uro circles and on a glolw, the point ing of a compass north and south is clearly impossible; sailing westerly is sailing round horizontally with the north star on your right baud, and sailing easterly is sailing in the same horizontal mode, with tho north star on your lut and all tho money in tho United States treasury would not buy ' a proof of so much as the bare possibility of sailing down a globe, under a globe, and up tho other side I Carpenter's Folly, Philadelphia. A Story of 3Ir. Clmnler. Miss Amelio Hives had a host of, ad mirers when she lived in maiden modi tatiou at tho homo of her ancestoi's, Castle Hill, Vu. Shu was n petted and spoiled beauty and treated her lovers with indill'ereuco and sometimes, it is said, with nbsoluto rudeness. Once, according to one story, when a dozen gentlemen called upon her in tho morning, she entered tho parlor in a bewitching riding habit, excused her self, mounted her horse, rode an hour or two, and finding tho gentlemen waiting for heron returning, she went to her studio back of tho parlor and umuscd herself by drawing caricatures of her admirers, representing them sitting in various attitudes or idiotic vacannv - -New York Telegram. HUNTING THE NICKEL IN THE SLOT. A Peculiarly Tlofirit Tramp Who Uvei by Suction, Yri Is No "Slicker." While sitting -n tho Fulton ferry house about .? o'ciock yesterday morn ing, my attention was attracted to a seedv individual who had just entered. I hail no dilliculty in establishing his status in lifo. lie was a member of that profession who looks upon tho world as its "oyster." and unceremoni ously opens it upon the slightest op portmiity. He was a tramp. His clothes were cut or rather torn to his calling. Hard times hung from every angle of his body. His nose was the onlv bright spot about him. That had been burnished by whisky until it locked like "a gilded halo hov ering rous.d decay." "Watch that man," said an official to mo. "Ho has got some way of get ting nickels and pennies out of those nickel- in - the - slot' machines over there. You see, tho machines are often out of order and tho money dropped in sticks in the slot. That man comes hero regularly every morning and sucks them out. It is none of my busi ness, so 1 never interfere with him." I watched. Tho man approached a tutti-frutti machine, stooped down and placed his mouth over one of the slots. A long-drawn-out suction fol lowed, as if the machine was a delic ious lemon on Katzen jammer day, and then he strnie-htoned 111) with a penny between his teeth. Down ho went again as a kingfisher goes for a smelt, and back again with his prey in his mouth. This was repeated until the slots had yielded up thirteen cents one nickel and eight pennies. When the tramp went away I fol lowed him outside and engaged him in conversation. I found him to havo more than his share of tho grim humor that characterizes tho tramp brother hood. Ho drew himself up with a lu gubrious dignity and said: "The suction idea came to mo about three months ago. I first had to sat isfy myself that it was a legitimate business. The nickel, 1 reasoned, does not belong to the person who puts it in tho slot, as he took chances with the machine and got left. It did not be long to tho machine, because it had rendered nothing for the money re ceived. Having thus satisfied my con science 1 commenced operations. The business has developed beyond my greatest expectations. The interest on the capital invested is enormous. No expenditures; all receipts. I make from 1 to $2 per day. My hours are long, it is true, and most of my busi ness engagements aro at night. But it's 'way ahead of being on tho road. I don't like the country. Tho haystacks are too far apart, and the careless handling of shotguns by farmers has always shocked me. "lam glad to havo a metropolitan occupation," ho continued. "Hero there i: a field for ingenuity. Tho man with an idea cannot bo kept down. My business isalinost too much for ono man to control. It takes me a long time to get around to all the ferries and depots, and 1 am thinking of letting out part of my territory." After a pause, ho said reflectively: "I hope this won't get into the papers. The slot machine companies might un dertake, to shut me oil'. If they do, it will bo a severe blow to the trade and commerce of tho country. I am the inventor of tho 'snap,' and as such 1 am entitled to tho profits. Recollect, though I niako my living by Miction, I am no 'sucker.' "And ho faded away in tho gloom Williamsburgh ferry ward. Now York Herald. Tho Man In No. 7. Ono night when three or four of us boys boarded a sleeper on the L. and N. road going south from Cincinnati, a passenger in lower 7 began to snore as soon as wo wero in bed. Ho had a terrible snore for a human being, and after several of us had called to him and failed to stop it ono of our crowd slid out of bed, reached into No. 7, and with great deftness allixetl a spring clothespin to tho falconer's nose. It was, of course, expected that he would wake up in a few seconds, but, to our surprise, ho did not, while at tho same tuno ho suddenly ceased to snore. 5y and by all of us dropped oil' to sleep, and every ono in tho car was up before No. 7. In fact, ho slept so lato that tho porter parted the curtains to arouso him. After one look ho jumped back with a yell, and when wo hurried up wo found tho man cold and dead, lie was lying on his back, hands locked under his neck, and tho clothes pin had pinched his nose all out of s'hape. Tho body was taken lo Cincin nati, and most of us had to attend the inquest. It was there testified to by tho doctors that tho man had died of heart disease, but I toll you wo didn't hanker to do any moro joking for a full year. Now York Sun. Tun Hindoo C inaiiclmciit:. There are ten commandments hung on tho walls of tho Hindoo theological college in Madras. Homeward Mail reproduces them: "(1) Pray to God as soon as you rise from your bed 5-5 :10 a, in. CJ) Wash your body and keep your surroundings clean 5:10-5:0 a. m. (15) Prostrate yourselves before your parents or guardians, and tako good exercise ft :.W to (1 :'M a. in. (!) Prepare well your school lesson (I :!10 9 a. in. (5j Attend school regularly and punctually, and do tho school work properly. (C) Obey and respect your toaoher and tho teachers of the other classes, and other respectable persons. (?) Road till 8 p. in. at homo. (8) Piny to God and go to bed Dp. m. to ft a. in. CJ) Keep good company and avoid bad company. (10) Practice righteousness at all times." Loudon Standard. New Outdoor Oiiine. for IjuIIi-h. Rin goal is a new English outofdoor game for ladies. It is played with grace hoops and sticks and two nets eight feet nigh and ten feet square. It is proposed to make it rival and rule out tennis, if possible, aa it exercises both arms, both shoulders, both hands and tho whole body in tho running and turning necessary to catch tho hoops before they reach tlio goals or nets. Washington Star. THE BOY KNIFES A JJKAli. BUT HIS FATHER MODESTLY AP PROPRIATES THE CREDIT. A Tnlo Which Involve, tlio Io. of it flop t ltuek, tlio Death of li ool Doi; and the Anser of Abner Crime It n True Story, 1 and That'. its Chief Trait. Abner Grimes is the politician of the 1 ridge. He 1ms been constable, postmas- j tor, town clerk ami justice of the peace, j Ho has his eye now on the legislature. , Statecraft is bis hobby, but he mingles it ' with lumber, agriculture and a general country store, His only recreation is' chasing the deer in tho wildwood and j bunting coons. He has a son Uriah. Uriah is rising 10, and is a stub-and-twist j specimen of the true backwoods boy. MMnli " cniil Altimr Cvinifw tin ntlinr day, "from tlio way the weather looks I believe there's a deer over back of tho mountain. Seems to ino as if it was a buck, too." "Well, pop," said 'Hiah, "let's tako the dog and go fetch the deer in." "Why, that's sol" exclaimed Abner, as if tho suggestion was a sudden revelation to liini. "We can do that, can't we?" So bo took down his gun. called tho dog, and ho and Uriah started for the mountain, three miles away. liiah car ried no gun. it being his duty to handle tho dog and drive for deer, while his father stood on the ridge at. a runway and put lead in the deer when it came bounding by him. But Uriah had a big hunting knife in a sheath at his side. "Start a buck, 'Hiah. or a big doe," said Abner. "Don't waste time on any fawns." 'Hiah went oil with tho dog, and he hadn't gone more than a hundred yards when the dog struck a trail and away ho went. 'Hiah followed, and in less than ten rods came up with tho dog. It might havo been a deer track the dog had struck, but if it was it had led plump up against a six foot bear, and tho six foot bear had his back against a rock and his eyes on tho dog. Tho latter, emboldened by tho presence of his master, pitched into the bear. Tho bear welcomed the dog to his em brace, gave him a couple of squeezes, and tossed him oh" with such vim and precision that his limp and almost ties sicated carcass just missed 'Utah's head. Tho dog was extremely dead. "S-a-a-a-y!" said 'Hiah. speaking to the bear in a tone of remonstrance, "Uy Jim! That was pop's best dog, and, 1 tell you, ho'll bo inadder'u thunder!" Just then Aimer's voice, mellowed by distance, but very distinct withal, came down through tho woods from tho run way up on tho ridge. It said: "Hay, 'Hiah! Come up hero with that dog. quick!" "Well," said 'Hiah, still speaking to the bear, "if ho 'spects mo to carry that dog up this ridge he's mistaken! But won't ho boinadder'n thunder!" All this time tho bear stood with his back to the rock, his eyes snapping, and his jaws dropping foam. 'Hiah looked at tho unjointed body of tho dog, and then surveyed tho proportions of its un terrified unjointer. Tho latter got tired of waiting, and moved forward to cleai tho woods of 'Hiah. 'Hiah unsheathed his hunting knife and braced himself. "Hay, 'Hiah!" caino tho voicoof Abner down from the ridgo again, and thifc time there wan impatience in it. "Why don't you come up with that infernal dog?" "I hain't got titno to explain that to pop just now," said 'Hiah, in a confiden tial tone to the bear, "and I hain't goin' to scare you by hollerin' back at him." Tho bear didn't seem to care whether 'Hiah had time for explanation or not, and evidently was a good way from any intention of being scared. IIo reached out for 'Hiah with ono foro paw. 'Hiah lunged forward and socked tho long blade of his knifo in bruin's neck. Bruin countered on 'Hiah's chest and sent him sprawling on tho ground. The blood spurted from tho hole the knifo had bored in tho boar's neck. Ac 'Hiah fell the voico of tho hunter wat again heard on the hill. "Hay, 'Hiah!" it said. "Why in thun der don't you conio up with that dog?" 'Hiah was too busy lo answer just then, for ho had all lie could do to get to his feet before the boar climbed on him. Tho boy and tho bear had a lively tussle, but it was a short one. Tho first stab tho bear received was fatal, and two other thrusts, equally good, let out still more blood, but when tho bear fell in its death struggle 'Hiah was tired out. Ho leaned up against a tree to got Ills wind. Then bo heard his father coming down oir of tho ridgo, crashing through tho brush like a wild steer. "IIo's mad!" panted 'Hiah. "Hay, 'Hiah!" Abner shouted as he camo down the hill. "What in thunder's tho matter? Whoro's that dog? Why don't you coino up with him? A buck bigger than a heifer went by mo, and hero I hain't got any dog? It'll bo wuth twenty votes for mo if I get that buck! Why don't you come up with that dog?" When Abner hove in sight he discov ered 'Hiah leaning against tho tree sobbing for wind. Ho didn't seo tho bear that lay a fow yards tho other sido. "What in tho name of Nimrod is tho matter with you?" ho gasped. 'Hah pointed to tho bear. "Holy smoke!" yelled Abner. and hu mado for tho nearest tree. "lie's Iio'h dead," panted 'Hiah. "So is tho dog. That's the reason I didn't como up with him." Thon Abner looked tho bear over and mourned for the dog. "Wo wasn't hunting bear, 'Hiah," said ho, doproratingly. "Doer was what we btarted out to got. Still, we'll tako homo our game. Hut you should havo como up with that dog, 'Hiah, and, great Cojsarl what a buck we'd huvo got; wuth twenty votes to me," Abner and 'Hiah toted tho lcar homo, and then Abnur went out among his friends and said: "Why don't you como over and seo the slammin' big bear mo and 'Uiah killed'" Sol's Ridgo Cor, Now York Evening Sun. IN dHUIN'S EMBRACE. K T.ocomntle. Iliiclncer'. ntperlnnce While nil r.ollte to Comentlnn. J. W. Cutter is a trusty guardian of the cab on the Cincinnati. Washington tiul Baltimore. He commenced his jxpcrieuco in lSGIl ns a fireman, and has vivid recollections of the days of the civil war. In 1S(. he win one of i number of citizens of Chillicothe. O., who burned the bridge over Payne's 3ivek to prevent tho threatened raid of Johnny Morgan's band of marnud-i-s. Tlio creek was in a shallow state, ind had Morgan's men been so dis posed could havo easily waded tho tronin. The citizens of tho quiet Ohio town, however, were crazy with ex citement ami applied tho torch to tho only bridge in the vicinity. Morgan changed his plans and did not bother them, but pushed further north. Mr. Cutter attended tho last Richmond convention and posed as a star actor in a laughable act from life in which i hear and linen duster won him con siderable fame as a joker. It was near Sisterville, W. Va., and the cinders from the locomotive of the train upon which Cutter was a passen ger Hew thick and fast. It was a detri ment to white collars and n menace to light clothing. At ono of tho stations a stop was made, and Cutter rushed into a neighboring store, threw down a dollar and seized the first linen duster within reach, regardless of size or beauty of artistic finish. Now, Mr. Cutter is a short man, and, as luck would havo it, he secured a duster that was intended for a man of girall'e like proportions. Nothing daunted, and amid tho shouts of the other dele gates, ho donned tho duster. His thirty-six inch breast was lost in the forty-four duster, while its folds d raped loosely about his hips and dan gled just above his heels. The circum stances of purchase nerved him to su preme indill'erence, and ho cared not for conventionalities and laughed mockingly at tailors' signs. At Sistervillo the train stopped for an hour, waiting for connections. Tlio gay throng of engineers and their wives left tl 10 cars and roamed about tho picturesque West Virginia hamlet. In one street a wandering son of Italy was grinding a hand organ and direct ing the mazy waltzes of a huge cinna mon bear. Tho bear became very much enamored of Mr. Cutter'sduster. The color was tho same as tho shaggy hair of tho bear, and tho latter im agined that a long lost brother had been found. At once, tho large, alloc tionalo heart of the forest terror thumped joyfully beneath his fifth rib, and ho made a wild rush for tho unsuspecting engineer and tho einnn mon colored duster. Protestations wero in vain, oscapo was impossible. Tho hugo arms of the dancing bear firmly grasped Mr. Utit tor's, and ho was compelled to finish tho waltz with a very uncongenial partner. Tho friends of tho engineer roared with laughter and oven the Italian smiled. At last tho embrace of tho bear becamo unconifortablyclo.se, and, altera desperate struggle, Cutter broke louse with tlio remnants oi a fully demoralized duster and his face nuivennir with I right. The Ohio engineers indorsed this bear story, and it is cheerfully given as ono of" tho incidents of tho Rich mond convention. Denver News. Pniehiiscs of .Sham Jo.uolry. Apropos of tho sham jewelry busi ness, says a writer in a London jour nal, I havo inquired who are tlio Wg est patrons of it. "Americans are good customers here," said the .salesman. "Those big heavy bracelets you see there aro bought chiefly by publicans' wives. Wo sell plenty of wedding rings at Is. !ld. each." "But marriages don't occur often; surely peoplo can afi'orda few shillings once in a lifetime to buy a real gold ring?" "Ah, you don't understand. These wedding riiiL's are bought by poor peoplo and slipped on when tho real thing is at the pawnbrokers. It is not before tho marriage, but after, when tho rainy dav conies, that these ringsnro bought. We sell grosses of them." "Who aro your best customers?" "Well, there aro rich women who havo their own jewel sets imitated, Americans, tho 'profession' and mashers, tho people who havo como down in the world. When these hitler go away for their holidays to seo their friends, thoy don't like to show their poverty. Kuril few shillings they can got such a stock of jewelry that in their own towns and villages thev aro kings and queens. Then wo sell a good (leal to mashers on bank holidays and during tho holi day season. Hero aro some pins, now, that cost a shilling each. Thev can havo their choice of pearls, corals and diamonds. A pin like that would gain any young man tho respectful admi ration of the bank holiday crowds at Margate or Brighton. Tho masher's favorite jewel, however, is tho ono and three penny ring, set with rubies mid diamonds." No iv DlnlrcBH Signal. A iiowsholl, to tako tho plnco of all distress signals now used in murine signaling, such as rockets and firing of minute guns, which involve the loss of much valuable time, has lately ap peared. It is intended that the shells shall ho distributed about u ship, hut particularly kept on tho bridge within easy reach of tlio captain. When ho dosircs to give a signal of distress, in stead of losing time in loading and fir ing a cannon, or touching oil' a rocket, lio seizes a shell, pulls the cap olV the detonator, scratches tho fulminate with the rough end of the cap, and throws tho shell overboard. In twen-ty-llvo seconds thoro is an explosion, and a loud booming report is heard, while a column of water, (lame and smoke shoots up at least 100 foot in tho air. An extra appliance of a rocket is attached lo the shell used at night, and th'i i t thrown to a great height by tint explosion, and itself explodes in ll.vai:. Tho tin cylinders of the shell then 11 -tit about on tho water, mid u I bey have tho name of the ship stamped on them, they servo in time of disaster to tell of the ship they came from. New York Couttuejviul Advertiser CONNUBIAL BONDS. How They Cmi lie Severed In tlin Province, or Victoria. Australia. An Australian colonist recently caused to bo inserted in the newspapers the fol lowing brief announcement: "Not hav ing heard of my wife for tho past ten years. 1 intend to marry again. John hoary, Post-OIUco. Get-long." A hus band who has waited a whole decade in the 1ioim tlmt his errant spouse may turn up hardly appears open to tho charge of being short-tempered, but un less the laws ot the colony of ictoria already Include a statute of limitations applicable to matters connubial and covering the case ot .Mr. i.eavy, it would seem that that gentleman is at length prepared to run the risk ot eoin inlttimr bijrainy rather than continue any longer in the condition of singlo blessedness. Probably the above an nouncement is to be explained by a measure now before the Parliament of Victoria, andwhleh will in all probability shortly become law. This is the so- called Divorce Law Amendment bill, by which, in that portion of the ltritlsh Lm plre, the dissolution of the marriage tie is to be greatly facilitated. By this measure a divorce may be granted oiv various grounds not hitherto admitted as justifying so extreme a remedy. Desertion or habitual drunkenness, with neglect or cruelty on the part of either husband or wife, will henceforth enable either to obtain a divorce a Vienna t thoro. If either commits a violent as sault on the other, or is convicted ot rime, the injured party may, in either -use, demand not a mere judicial separation, but a final and complete dis solution of the marriage. Legislation of this sort is calculated to shock not a fow people of this country, but there :un bo no doubt that the public feeling Is overwhelmingly In Its favor in Vic-; torla. Indeed, on the passing of the act, .i rush ot discontented husbands and 4 wives, anxious toavail theinselvesot it, Is uitlolpated from the other colonies, and clause bus accordingly been inserted rendering It necessary that married per sons must havo been domiciled In tho 'ountry for two years tit least before their petitions for divorce can bo enter tained. London Standard. AN ANTIQUE CAMEO. Uuro und i:peiiHlvo UeniN .Inst Procured by un Anierleiin Collector. One of the most important accessions to tho Metropolitan Museum of Art made this fall is the addition .which Maxwell Sotnmorvllle, of Philadelphia, has just made to his collection of gems there. This Is a beautiful antiquo :uuieo of Jupiter Kgiochus, preserved from the first century. It was brought by Mr. tsoinmerville, who has just re turned from Burope, and placed by him In tlio case among his collection. I" ' considers it the crowning p! co of hi. splendid assortment of gems. Tho lameo has long been desired by tho Krenoh lioverninent for the Louvre, and negotiations for Its purchase wero in progress, but Mr. Soininervllle secured it at a cost, it is said, of more than 550,000. The head is engraved on a pieco of 2hrysoprase as largo as a mun s hand. Tho stone is ot tho llnest texture, anu Is of itself ono of tho rarest pieces o tho size known. It is of the close of tho epoch of Marcus Aurolius, or the earlier years of C'otnmodits. The stylo Is llrieeo-ltoinan, but exceptional for that period. Dr. Hall, tho curator of tho aiuseum, in speaking ot the gem, saul it wtw Htm u-1 lch urchinol(lts and ?lyptologists havo cause to regard as un attainable. "It. is." lm added, "a cameo of ehrvso- praso of India. It was first made known to tho learned world in IKS., through tho (Jazette Areheologique, though nearly a century ago it formed part of a famous uugusii coueouon. i no suu joot is Jupiter vKgloohus, wearing tho Bodonean oak leaf wreath; a troatmont so rare that only ono other i( presenta tion of it is known in art, and only two Homeric lines authenticate the joining of tho attributes together. For size, vigor of treatment, rarity of subject, proof of tho identity of the sumo as to- (initorliil and place or origin ny its nroelniiH limculatinns. as well us for tho high estimate put upon the innnonso (rem by savants ana giypunogisis, anu fume in tho learned journals, this gom lias no poor." N. V. Tribune. EDITORIAL ENTERPRISE. How n Wlclo-A wnlo Newspaper 3Iuil l'eathered HU Dull Nest. "Suppose," said tho city editor to tho young man with cheeked trousers who applied for a situation as a reporter, "you go out and write up an account ot this funeral." Tho now reporter started forth, and in tho course of time handed in tho fol lowing: "Tho funeral of Mr. Silas Jones was a grand but solemn ailalr. Iltero was u profusion of (lowers from Brlggs, tho llorlsts, and any quantity of rich mourning drosses, most of which wero from Smith & Co. 's dry goods store. Tho long, somber proces sion composed of carriages from Robin son's livery stable, headed by thohoarso belonging to Jenkins, tho undertaker in charge, moved toward tho last resting phico over tho smooth road that had so reii'Jiitly been regraded by Brown & Sons, contractors. Tho ceremony in tho cemetery was Intprosslvo and in ovory way satisfactory." The report was, very much garbled by tho city editor, hut the.' reporter is woar Ing fiowors, receiving boxes from Smith & Co., and talcing frequent carriago rides, Just tho sanio. rloruhant Trav eler. V A KuUicuniit DtfccoveryJ' Archie do Vou (joalouslyjv Wlwwaa that scare-orow yeu-ust mot, tha staks? V Attilud Ulnuumti That wilMau nU r friend of mlno. . " Archlo do Vou Ah! lndoed(tHUKiU ttcully), was ho tho ugliest unW yap' could JlndV Mabel lllossom (swootly) Yw m r . 4. . A 1 u Tlmo.