Y
Dop, Can TnlU.
A curious sight was witnessed ono
afternoon on tho wharf at Cincinnati.
A gentleman, accompanied by two
fine specimens of tho water spaniel,
went down to tho landing of the New
port ferry, at tho foot of Lawrence
street. Somehow ho became separated
from the canines, or rather they failed
to follow him aboard. The boat had
got out in the stream, when the dogs
caught sight of their master and dis
covered he was fast leaving them.
Standing on the edge of the lloat. thev
both set up a vigorous yelpimr. which
attracted the attention of tho bystand
ers. Suddenly the older and larger dog
plunged into tho river and began to
swim rapidly toward tho Kentucky
shore, llo had gono about 101) yards
when he seemed to become aware that
his brute companion had not followed.
Turningaround, ho swam back toward
tho spot where tho younger dog stood.
As ho drew alongside tho lloat he
made no effort to get aboard. The two
began to bark at each other to hold
an animated conversation in tho dog
tongue, as it were. Tho older dog, as
ho lloateil by tho side of tho landimr.
barked encouragement to the more
timid animal, and apparently was urg
ing tho latter to jump into tho water.
Tho barking duet lasted some minutes,
and then the younger dog, seemingly
convinced by his companion's assur
ance, grew bold, and suddenly bound
ed into tho river.
Tho first dog gave a delighted yelp,
and, both turning their noses toward
Kentucky, began to swim straight
across, side by side. Both continued
to bark until they reached tho shore,
and could bo heard on both sides of
tho river. Tho people on tho ferry and
tho Kentucky shoro saw tho strange
race, and, with people on this sido and
on tho bridge, watched it to tho end.
Tho dogs landed opposito to tho bar
racks, where they wero awaited by
their owner, who, with several other
gentlemen, had hurriedly walked
down tho bank. Thcro was no limit
to the delight of tho two animals as
they rushed up to their master. Tho
river at that point is nearly half a
mile wide. Tho action of tho dogs
seemed to indicate that they had a lan
guage of their own, and the paternal
manifestations of tho elder brute were
most interesting to see. Cincinnati
Commercial Gazette.
rumllhir (Jiiiitntloiis.
The number of quotablo and much
quoted tilings in The Merry Wives is
considerable. Shakespeare had an ex
traordinary knack of saying what
would bear repetition, and prove a
future bon mot, in all manner of al
tered circumstances. Ilow often have
wo not occasion to remark with Nym,
"His mind is not heroic, and there's
tho humor of it." But how seldom,
alas I in tho changes and chances of
mortal dinnerparties, can ono observe
about tho lady who sits next him at
tho feast. "1 spy entertainment in hurl"
"You are not young, no more am I,"
is a quotation more frequently appro
priate, though never to be ventured.
Again, "Ho wooes both high and
low, both rich and poor" how well it
corresponds with the charming modern
vulgarism, "George is a general cour
ter, up with all, on with none." Often
we are tempted to exclaim with Shal
low, "Though we are justices, and doc
tors, and churchmen, Master Pago, we
have some salt of our youth in us; we
are the sons of women, Master Pago."
Nor is any quotation from all Shake
speare more frequently in tho human
mouth than that of Mrs. Page, "What
tho dickens." "Tho wild Prince and
Poins," spoken of by Mr. Pago, runs
now as a mere 'Household word; anil a
household word is tho jolly , host's de
scription of Kenton: "Ho capers, he
dances, ho has eyes of youth, ho writes
voices, ho speaks holyday, ho smells
April and May." This is Chaucerian :
"Ho was as fresh as tho moneth of
May." Who but Shakespeare could
have put tho essence of youth into so
few words, and those in the host's
mouth? Andrew Lang in Harper's
Magazine.
A Good Subject.
The nativo Egyptian is an extremely
good subject for surgical operation.
ClotBev, the founder of modern medi
cine in Egypt, has it that "it requires
as much surgery to kill ono Egyptian
as seven Europeans. In the nativo
hospital tho man whoso thigh is ampu
tated at 2 o'clock is sitting up and
lively at six." Shock is almost entire
ly unknown, and dread of an ini
punding operation quite an exception.
In explanation may bo noted the res
ignation inculcated by thuir religion;
tno vorv small proportion of meat
thoveat'aud tho total absence of al
cohol from their diot, and in general
their regular, abstemious out of door
lifo. Science.
Ar Ingenious Prisoner.
A prisoner who was being taken with
some other criminals 'in a train from
Lo Mans to Sillo le Guillaumo con
trived . to etl'ect his escape in a very
clever manner. Each of tho culprits
was in a small cell, and, having man
aged to conceal a saw about his person,
tho captive in question set to work on
tho lloor. Ho succeeded in sawing out
a pieco of wood sulliciently largo to
enable him to drop on tho lino when
tho train stopped at a station, and his
oscapo was not discovered until tho
party arrived at their destination.
Now York Post.
Hie Itust of C(i-ar Aus.'H'.tiii.
Two yours ago last summer, at a kir
moss given in Koone, a bronzo butt of
C:usar Augustus, loaned by Mrs. C. II.
Faulkner, disappeared and was sup
posed to have been stolon. A fow
mornings ago tho missing bust was
found on Mrs. Faulkner's front steps,
whuro it had evidently been left by
some person during tho night. Con
cord People and Patriot.
Sometime' ' the Stronc.
"That rival of yours scorns to bo in
n fair way to cut you out Hosu
pretty athletic follow. Are you not
afraid of him?"
"1? Oh, no; but her father is. so
ho has a better show than i have.
Harper's 15aw
A SlniiiKo Peiinlvuiiln Accident.
Vre were tho victim yesterday of
one of tho most distressing accidents
over known in this torritory, writer
tho editor of tho Milllin Center (Pn.)
Blade. Yesterday morning our wifo
took occasion to do tho family wash
ing, having been kept from it earlier
in the week by being very busy-putting
up our winter supply of apple but
ter. Among other articles of ; wear
ing apparel which she included in the
wasli was our white vest, rightly
thinking that the white vest days were
about over, and intending to do it up
and lay it away against tho return
of the next picnic season.
Now, unbeknown to her, in the
lower right hand pocket of this vest
there was a large roll of bills, twelve
ones and a two $1-1 in all. She did
not discover tho roll, and after having
v ashed the garment thoroughly she
hung i out on the line in the Imck
yard to dry. All might yet have been
well had it not been for Mr. Ferden
baugh's large brindle cow, which is
well known to most of our citizens.
While our wifo was in the parlor
visiting with Mrs. Pannley, who call
ed to see how to make her grape pre- I
serves jell, this beast she deserves no
better name broke through our back
gate and deliberately ate lip our vest,
money and all 1 When our wifo reach
ed the scene of trouble the beast was
just swallowing tho last bill, with evi
dent relish.
Our wife seized the mon and rushed
at the marauding intruder, but sbo
onlv tossed her head, kicked sideways
with both hind feet, and leaping light
ly over tho fence trotted oil", switch
ing her tail deliautly. Neither tho
vest nor tho money, wo are sorry to
say, seemed to havo any Kad etl'ect on
her scoundrelly good health.
Our wife imniediatelv informed us
of the accident, and wo instantly called
on Mr. Ferdenbaugh and demanded
that the animal be slaughtered, doubt
ing not that wo should lindour money
in tho first of that suite of stomachs
witli which we learn from physiology
tho cow is provided. This Mr. Ferden
baugh refused to assent to. lie pleaded
that he was a poor man. and, as he
had recently bought the cow, that all
his ready money was in her. We nut
urally replied that all of our ready
money was in her, too, but it failed to
move him.
It was a sad affair, take it all
around, but one abom which nothing
can be done. Our wife's excuse for
not looking in tho pockets before she
began her laundry operations is that
she had gone through our pockets for
money for twenty years and never
found any, and had therefore become
discourage 1. And, if the reader will
believe it. that beast of a cow had Uk
oH'rontery about tho middle of tho af
ternoon to lio down under a tree di
rectly opposito our house and content
edly "chew her cud remasticating our
$11, we doubt not.
Remember, yo editor needs money
worse than ever since the cow ate up
that roll of bills. Pay up, you de
linquents! Cordwood taken tho same
as cash in fact, wo had rather have
it the cow can't more than gnaw tho
bark oil' that at tho worst.
Tlio Zctctlc Philosophy.
The Zetetio philosophy, which
proves absolutely and without a shad
ow of doubt that the earth is a plane
and not a planet, has in it no theories,
but establishes its conclusions upon
facts alone. Many of these facts are
of such a nature that not to know all
about them will soon bo deemed a sin
of ignorance.
Tlio people should know that tho
surface of standing water is level,
whether it bo in the form of a pond, a
L lake, a canal, a sea or an ocean, and
that it makes no ditlcrcnco at all now
many people, in consequence of false
teachings, believe it to be curved; that
m no surveyors operations in tho con
structions of railroads, tunnels or ca
nals is any "allowance niado for the
curvature" of the earth's surface, al
though the books tell us that it is nec
essary: that tho view from a balloon
in tlio nir is that of a Hat earth, and
not a globe; that the river Paraguay
in 1300 miles does not fall a foot; that
for the last 500 miles tho Amazon falls
but ton feet six inches, and that the
Nile, in 1,000 miles, falls but a foot.
Sailors can see the light at Capo
Ilatteras forty miles out at sea, where
as on the globe theory it ought to be
more than 1)00 feet below tho level line
of sight; strain your eyes as you
please, you can never seo a ship com
ing "up," for, at tho furthest distuned
that you can by any means see, a
ship is on a lovpl with tho eye; the
horizon always rises on and on just as
you rise on; if the mariner wero to
tako a "globe" with him with which
to navigate tho ocean ho would wreck'
his ship; meridians are straight lines
diverging from the central north to
ward tho south in all directions hori
zontally "parallels of latitude" onl
uro circles and on a glolw, the point
ing of a compass north and south is
clearly impossible; sailing westerly is
sailing round horizontally with the
north star on your right baud, and
sailing easterly is sailing in the
same horizontal mode, with tho
north star on your lut and
all tho money in tho United States
treasury would not buy ' a proof
of so much as the bare possibility of
sailing down a globe, under a globe,
and up tho other side I Carpenter's
Folly, Philadelphia.
A Story of 3Ir. Clmnler.
Miss Amelio Hives had a host of, ad
mirers when she lived in maiden modi
tatiou at tho homo of her ancestoi's,
Castle Hill, Vu. Shu was n petted and
spoiled beauty and treated her lovers
with indill'ereuco and sometimes, it is
said, with nbsoluto rudeness. Once,
according to one story, when a dozen
gentlemen called upon her in tho
morning, she entered tho parlor in a
bewitching riding habit, excused her
self, mounted her horse, rode an hour
or two, and finding tho gentlemen
waiting for heron returning, she went
to her studio back of tho parlor and
umuscd herself by drawing caricatures
of her admirers, representing them
sitting in various attitudes or idiotic
vacannv - -New York Telegram.
HUNTING THE NICKEL IN THE SLOT.
A Peculiarly Tlofirit Tramp Who Uvei
by Suction, Yri Is No "Slicker."
While sitting -n tho Fulton ferry
house about .? o'ciock yesterday morn
ing, my attention was attracted to a
seedv individual who had just entered.
I hail no dilliculty in establishing his
status in lifo. lie was a member of
that profession who looks upon tho
world as its "oyster." and unceremoni
ously opens it upon the slightest op
portmiity. He was a tramp. His
clothes were cut or rather torn to
his calling. Hard times hung from
every angle of his body. His nose
was the onlv bright spot about him.
That had been burnished by whisky
until it locked like "a gilded halo hov
ering rous.d decay."
"Watch that man," said an official
to mo. "Ho has got some way of get
ting nickels and pennies out of those
nickel- in - the - slot' machines over
there. You see, tho machines are often
out of order and tho money dropped
in sticks in the slot. That man comes
hero regularly every morning and
sucks them out. It is none of my busi
ness, so 1 never interfere with him."
I watched. Tho man approached
a tutti-frutti machine, stooped down
and placed his mouth over one of the
slots. A long-drawn-out suction fol
lowed, as if the machine was a delic
ious lemon on Katzen jammer day, and
then he strnie-htoned 111) with a penny
between his teeth. Down ho went
again as a kingfisher goes for a smelt,
and back again with his prey in his
mouth. This was repeated until the
slots had yielded up thirteen cents
one nickel and eight pennies.
When the tramp went away I fol
lowed him outside and engaged him in
conversation. I found him to havo
more than his share of tho grim humor
that characterizes tho tramp brother
hood. Ho drew himself up with a lu
gubrious dignity and said:
"The suction idea came to mo about
three months ago. I first had to sat
isfy myself that it was a legitimate
business. The nickel, 1 reasoned, does
not belong to the person who puts it in
tho slot, as he took chances with the
machine and got left. It did not be
long to tho machine, because it had
rendered nothing for the money re
ceived. Having thus satisfied my con
science 1 commenced operations. The
business has developed beyond my
greatest expectations. The interest on
the capital invested is enormous. No
expenditures; all receipts. I make
from 1 to $2 per day. My hours are
long, it is true, and most of my busi
ness engagements aro at night. But
it's 'way ahead of being on tho road. I
don't like the country. Tho haystacks
are too far apart, and the careless
handling of shotguns by farmers has
always shocked me.
"lam glad to havo a metropolitan
occupation," ho continued. "Hero
there i: a field for ingenuity. Tho
man with an idea cannot bo kept
down. My business isalinost too much
for ono man to control. It takes me
a long time to get around to all the
ferries and depots, and 1 am thinking
of letting out part of my territory."
After a pause, ho said reflectively:
"I hope this won't get into the papers.
The slot machine companies might un
dertake, to shut me oil'. If they do, it
will bo a severe blow to the trade and
commerce of tho country. I am the
inventor of tho 'snap,' and as such 1
am entitled to tho profits. Recollect,
though I niako my living by Miction,
I am no 'sucker.' "And ho faded away
in tho gloom Williamsburgh ferry
ward. Now York Herald.
Tho Man In No. 7.
Ono night when three or four of us
boys boarded a sleeper on the L. and
N. road going south from Cincinnati,
a passenger in lower 7 began to snore
as soon as wo wero in bed. Ho had a
terrible snore for a human being, and
after several of us had called to him
and failed to stop it ono of our crowd
slid out of bed, reached into No. 7,
and with great deftness allixetl a
spring clothespin to tho falconer's nose.
It was, of course, expected that he
would wake up in a few seconds, but,
to our surprise, ho did not, while at
tho same tuno ho suddenly ceased to
snore.
5y and by all of us dropped oil' to
sleep, and every ono in tho car was up
before No. 7. In fact, ho slept so lato
that tho porter parted the curtains to
arouso him. After one look ho jumped
back with a yell, and when wo hurried
up wo found tho man cold and dead,
lie was lying on his back, hands
locked under his neck, and tho clothes
pin had pinched his nose all out of
s'hape. Tho body was taken lo Cincin
nati, and most of us had to attend the
inquest. It was there testified to by
tho doctors that tho man had died of
heart disease, but I toll you wo didn't
hanker to do any moro joking for a
full year. Now York Sun.
Tun Hindoo C inaiiclmciit:.
There are ten commandments hung
on tho walls of tho Hindoo theological
college in Madras. Homeward Mail
reproduces them: "(1) Pray to God as
soon as you rise from your bed 5-5 :10
a, in. CJ) Wash your body and keep
your surroundings clean 5:10-5:0
a. m. (15) Prostrate yourselves before
your parents or guardians, and tako
good exercise ft :.W to (1 :'M a. in. (!)
Prepare well your school lesson (I :!10
9 a. in. (5j Attend school regularly
and punctually, and do tho school
work properly. (C) Obey and respect
your toaoher and tho teachers of the
other classes, and other respectable
persons. (?) Road till 8 p. in. at homo.
(8) Piny to God and go to bed Dp.
m. to ft a. in. CJ) Keep good company
and avoid bad company. (10) Practice
righteousness at all times." Loudon
Standard.
New Outdoor Oiiine. for IjuIIi-h.
Rin goal is a new English outofdoor
game for ladies. It is played with
grace hoops and sticks and two nets
eight feet nigh and ten feet square. It
is proposed to make it rival and rule
out tennis, if possible, aa it exercises
both arms, both shoulders, both hands
and tho whole body in tho running
and turning necessary to catch tho
hoops before they reach tlio goals or
nets. Washington Star.
THE BOY KNIFES A JJKAli.
BUT HIS FATHER MODESTLY AP
PROPRIATES THE CREDIT.
A Tnlo Which Involve, tlio Io. of it flop t
ltuek, tlio Death of li ool Doi; and the
Anser of Abner Crime It n True Story, 1
and That'. its Chief Trait.
Abner Grimes is the politician of the 1
ridge. He 1ms been constable, postmas- j
tor, town clerk ami justice of the peace, j
Ho has his eye now on the legislature. ,
Statecraft is bis hobby, but he mingles it '
with lumber, agriculture and a general
country store, His only recreation is'
chasing the deer in tho wildwood and j
bunting coons. He has a son Uriah.
Uriah is rising 10, and is a stub-and-twist j
specimen of the true backwoods boy.
MMnli " cniil Altimr Cvinifw tin ntlinr
day, "from tlio way the weather looks I
believe there's a deer over back of tho
mountain. Seems to ino as if it was a
buck, too."
"Well, pop," said 'Hiah, "let's tako the
dog and go fetch the deer in."
"Why, that's sol" exclaimed Abner, as
if tho suggestion was a sudden revelation
to liini. "We can do that, can't we?"
So bo took down his gun. called tho
dog, and ho and Uriah started for the
mountain, three miles away. liiah car
ried no gun. it being his duty to handle
tho dog and drive for deer, while his
father stood on the ridge at. a runway
and put lead in the deer when it came
bounding by him. But Uriah had a big
hunting knife in a sheath at his side.
"Start a buck, 'Hiah. or a big doe,"
said Abner. "Don't waste time on any
fawns."
'Hiah went oil with tho dog, and he
hadn't gone more than a hundred yards
when the dog struck a trail and away ho
went. 'Hiah followed, and in less than
ten rods came up with tho dog. It might
havo been a deer track the dog had
struck, but if it was it had led plump up
against a six foot bear, and tho six foot
bear had his back against a rock and his
eyes on tho dog. Tho latter, emboldened
by tho presence of his master, pitched
into the bear.
Tho bear welcomed the dog to his em
brace, gave him a couple of squeezes,
and tossed him oh" with such vim and
precision that his limp and almost ties
sicated carcass just missed 'Utah's head.
Tho dog was extremely dead.
"S-a-a-a-y!" said 'Hiah. speaking to the
bear in a tone of remonstrance, "Uy
Jim! That was pop's best dog, and, 1
tell you, ho'll bo inadder'u thunder!"
Just then Aimer's voice, mellowed by
distance, but very distinct withal, came
down through tho woods from tho run
way up on tho ridge. It said:
"Hay, 'Hiah! Come up hero with that
dog. quick!"
"Well," said 'Hiah, still speaking to
the bear, "if ho 'spects mo to carry that
dog up this ridge he's mistaken! But
won't ho boinadder'n thunder!"
All this time tho bear stood with his
back to the rock, his eyes snapping, and
his jaws dropping foam. 'Hiah looked
at tho unjointed body of tho dog, and
then surveyed tho proportions of its un
terrified unjointer. Tho latter got tired
of waiting, and moved forward to cleai
tho woods of 'Hiah. 'Hiah unsheathed
his hunting knife and braced himself.
"Hay, 'Hiah!" caino tho voicoof Abner
down from the ridgo again, and thifc
time there wan impatience in it. "Why
don't you come up with that infernal
dog?"
"I hain't got titno to explain that to
pop just now," said 'Hiah, in a confiden
tial tone to the bear, "and I hain't goin'
to scare you by hollerin' back at him."
Tho bear didn't seem to care whether
'Hiah had time for explanation or not,
and evidently was a good way from any
intention of being scared. IIo reached
out for 'Hiah with ono foro paw. 'Hiah
lunged forward and socked tho long
blade of his knifo in bruin's neck. Bruin
countered on 'Hiah's chest and sent him
sprawling on tho ground.
The blood spurted from tho hole the
knifo had bored in tho boar's neck. Ac
'Hiah fell the voico of tho hunter wat
again heard on the hill.
"Hay, 'Hiah!" it said. "Why in thun
der don't you conio up with that dog?"
'Hiah was too busy lo answer just
then, for ho had all lie could do to get to
his feet before the boar climbed on him.
Tho boy and tho bear had a lively tussle,
but it was a short one. Tho first stab
tho bear received was fatal, and two
other thrusts, equally good, let out still
more blood, but when tho bear fell in its
death struggle 'Hiah was tired out.
Ho leaned up against a tree to got Ills
wind. Then bo heard his father coming
down oir of tho ridgo, crashing through
tho brush like a wild steer.
"IIo's mad!" panted 'Hiah.
"Hay, 'Hiah!" Abner shouted as he
camo down the hill. "What in thunder's
tho matter? Whoro's that dog? Why
don't you coino up with him? A buck
bigger than a heifer went by mo, and
hero I hain't got any dog? It'll bo wuth
twenty votes for mo if I get that buck!
Why don't you come up with that dog?"
When Abner hove in sight he discov
ered 'Hiah leaning against tho tree
sobbing for wind. Ho didn't seo tho
bear that lay a fow yards tho other sido.
"What in tho name of Nimrod is tho
matter with you?" ho gasped.
'Hah pointed to tho bear.
"Holy smoke!" yelled Abner. and hu
mado for tho nearest tree.
"lie's Iio'h dead," panted 'Hiah. "So
is tho dog. That's the reason I didn't
como up with him."
Thon Abner looked tho bear over and
mourned for the dog.
"Wo wasn't hunting bear, 'Hiah," said
ho, doproratingly. "Doer was what we
btarted out to got. Still, we'll tako homo
our game. Hut you should havo como
up with that dog, 'Hiah, and, great Cojsarl
what a buck we'd huvo got; wuth twenty
votes to me,"
Abner and 'Hiah toted tho lcar homo,
and then Abnur went out among his
friends and said:
"Why don't you como over and seo the
slammin' big bear mo and 'Uiah killed'"
Sol's Ridgo Cor, Now York Evening
Sun.
IN dHUIN'S EMBRACE.
K T.ocomntle. Iliiclncer'. ntperlnnce
While nil r.ollte to Comentlnn.
J. W. Cutter is a trusty guardian of
the cab on the Cincinnati. Washington
tiul Baltimore. He commenced his
jxpcrieuco in lSGIl ns a fireman, and
has vivid recollections of the days of
the civil war. In 1S(. he win one of
i number of citizens of Chillicothe. O.,
who burned the bridge over Payne's
3ivek to prevent tho threatened raid
of Johnny Morgan's band of marnud-i-s.
Tlio creek was in a shallow state,
ind had Morgan's men been so dis
posed could havo easily waded tho
tronin. The citizens of tho quiet Ohio
town, however, were crazy with ex
citement ami applied tho torch to tho
only bridge in the vicinity. Morgan
changed his plans and did not bother
them, but pushed further north. Mr.
Cutter attended tho last Richmond
convention and posed as a star actor
in a laughable act from life in which
i hear and linen duster won him con
siderable fame as a joker.
It was near Sisterville, W. Va., and
the cinders from the locomotive of the
train upon which Cutter was a passen
ger Hew thick and fast. It was a detri
ment to white collars and n menace to
light clothing. At ono of tho stations
a stop was made, and Cutter rushed
into a neighboring store, threw down
a dollar and seized the first linen
duster within reach, regardless of size
or beauty of artistic finish. Now, Mr.
Cutter is a short man, and, as luck
would havo it, he secured a duster
that was intended for a man of girall'e
like proportions. Nothing daunted,
and amid tho shouts of the other dele
gates, ho donned tho duster. His
thirty-six inch breast was lost in the
forty-four duster, while its folds
d raped loosely about his hips and dan
gled just above his heels. The circum
stances of purchase nerved him to su
preme indill'erence, and ho cared not
for conventionalities and laughed
mockingly at tailors' signs.
At Sistervillo the train stopped for
an hour, waiting for connections. Tlio
gay throng of engineers and their
wives left tl 10 cars and roamed about
tho picturesque West Virginia hamlet.
In one street a wandering son of Italy
was grinding a hand organ and direct
ing the mazy waltzes of a huge cinna
mon bear. Tho bear became very
much enamored of Mr. Cutter'sduster.
The color was tho same as tho shaggy
hair of tho bear, and tho latter im
agined that a long lost brother had
been found. At once, tho large, alloc
tionalo heart of the forest terror
thumped joyfully beneath his fifth
rib, and ho made a wild rush for tho
unsuspecting engineer and tho einnn
mon colored duster.
Protestations wero in vain, oscapo
was impossible. Tho hugo arms of the
dancing bear firmly grasped Mr. Utit
tor's, and ho was compelled to finish
tho waltz with a very uncongenial
partner. Tho friends of tho engineer
roared with laughter and oven the
Italian smiled. At last tho embrace of
tho bear becamo unconifortablyclo.se,
and, altera desperate struggle, Cutter
broke louse with tlio remnants oi a
fully demoralized duster and his face
nuivennir with I right.
The Ohio engineers indorsed this
bear story, and it is cheerfully given
as ono of" tho incidents of tho Rich
mond convention. Denver News.
Pniehiiscs of .Sham Jo.uolry.
Apropos of tho sham jewelry busi
ness, says a writer in a London jour
nal, I havo inquired who are tlio Wg
est patrons of it. "Americans are good
customers here," said the .salesman.
"Those big heavy bracelets you see
there aro bought chiefly by publicans'
wives. Wo sell plenty of wedding
rings at Is. !ld. each." "But marriages
don't occur often; surely peoplo can
afi'orda few shillings once in a lifetime
to buy a real gold ring?" "Ah, you
don't understand. These wedding
riiiL's are bought by poor peoplo and
slipped on when tho real thing is at
the pawnbrokers. It is not before tho
marriage, but after, when tho rainy
dav conies, that these ringsnro bought.
We sell grosses of them." "Who aro
your best customers?" "Well, there
aro rich women who havo their own
jewel sets imitated, Americans, tho
'profession' and mashers, tho people
who havo como down in the world.
When these hitler go away for their
holidays to seo their friends, thoy don't
like to show their poverty. Kuril few
shillings they can got such a stock of
jewelry that in their own towns and
villages thev aro kings and queens.
Then wo sell a good (leal to mashers
on bank holidays and during tho holi
day season. Hero aro some pins, now,
that cost a shilling each. Thev can
havo their choice of pearls, corals and
diamonds. A pin like that would gain
any young man tho respectful admi
ration of the bank holiday crowds at
Margate or Brighton. Tho masher's
favorite jewel, however, is tho ono
and three penny ring, set with rubies
mid diamonds."
No iv DlnlrcBH Signal.
A iiowsholl, to tako tho plnco of all
distress signals now used in murine
signaling, such as rockets and firing
of minute guns, which involve the loss
of much valuable time, has lately ap
peared. It is intended that the shells
shall ho distributed about u ship, hut
particularly kept on tho bridge within
easy reach of tlio captain. When ho
dosircs to give a signal of distress, in
stead of losing time in loading and fir
ing a cannon, or touching oil' a rocket,
lio seizes a shell, pulls the cap olV the
detonator, scratches tho fulminate
with the rough end of the cap, and
throws tho shell overboard. In twen-ty-llvo
seconds thoro is an explosion,
and a loud booming report is heard,
while a column of water, (lame and
smoke shoots up at least 100 foot in tho
air. An extra appliance of a rocket is
attached lo the shell used at night,
and th'i i t thrown to a great height
by tint explosion, and itself explodes
in ll.vai:. Tho tin cylinders of the
shell then 11 -tit about on tho water,
mid u I bey have tho name of the ship
stamped on them, they servo in time
of disaster to tell of the ship they came
from. New York Couttuejviul Advertiser
CONNUBIAL BONDS.
How They Cmi lie Severed In tlin Province,
or Victoria. Australia.
An Australian colonist recently caused
to bo inserted in the newspapers the fol
lowing brief announcement: "Not hav
ing heard of my wife for tho past ten
years. 1 intend to marry again. John
hoary, Post-OIUco. Get-long." A hus
band who has waited a whole decade in
the 1ioim tlmt his errant spouse may
turn up hardly appears open to tho
charge of being short-tempered, but un
less the laws ot the colony of ictoria
already Include a statute of limitations
applicable to matters connubial and
covering the case ot .Mr. i.eavy, it
would seem that that gentleman is at
length prepared to run the risk ot eoin
inlttimr bijrainy rather than continue
any longer in the condition of singlo
blessedness. Probably the above an
nouncement is to be explained by a
measure now before the Parliament of
Victoria, andwhleh will in all probability
shortly become law. This is the so-
called Divorce Law Amendment bill, by
which, in that portion of the ltritlsh Lm
plre, the dissolution of the marriage tie
is to be greatly facilitated. By this
measure a divorce may be granted oiv
various grounds not hitherto admitted
as justifying so extreme a remedy.
Desertion or habitual drunkenness,
with neglect or cruelty on the part of
either husband or wife, will henceforth
enable either to obtain a divorce a Vienna
t thoro. If either commits a violent as
sault on the other, or is convicted ot
rime, the injured party may, in either
-use, demand not a mere judicial
separation, but a final and complete dis
solution of the marriage. Legislation
of this sort is calculated to shock not a
fow people of this country, but there
:un bo no doubt that the public feeling
Is overwhelmingly In Its favor in Vic-;
torla. Indeed, on the passing of the act,
.i rush ot discontented husbands and 4
wives, anxious toavail theinselvesot it, Is
uitlolpated from the other colonies, and
clause bus accordingly been inserted
rendering It necessary that married per
sons must havo been domiciled In tho
'ountry for two years tit least before
their petitions for divorce can bo enter
tained. London Standard.
AN ANTIQUE CAMEO.
Uuro und i:peiiHlvo UeniN .Inst Procured
by un Anierleiin Collector.
One of the most important accessions
to tho Metropolitan Museum of Art
made this fall is the addition .which
Maxwell Sotnmorvllle, of Philadelphia,
has just made to his collection of gems
there. This Is a beautiful antiquo
:uuieo of Jupiter Kgiochus, preserved
from the first century. It was brought
by Mr. tsoinmerville, who has just re
turned from Burope, and placed by him
In tlio case among his collection. I" '
considers it the crowning p! co of hi.
splendid assortment of gems. Tho
lameo has long been desired by tho
Krenoh lioverninent for the Louvre, and
negotiations for Its purchase wero in
progress, but Mr. Soininervllle secured
it at a cost, it is said, of more than
550,000.
The head is engraved on a pieco of
2hrysoprase as largo as a mun s hand.
Tho stone is ot tho llnest texture, anu
Is of itself ono of tho rarest pieces o
tho size known. It is of the close of tho
epoch of Marcus Aurolius, or the earlier
years of C'otnmodits. The stylo Is
llrieeo-ltoinan, but exceptional for that
period. Dr. Hall, tho curator of tho
aiuseum, in speaking ot the gem, saul
it wtw Htm u-1 lch urchinol(lts and
?lyptologists havo cause to regard as un
attainable.
"It. is." lm added, "a cameo of ehrvso-
praso of India. It was first made known
to tho learned world in IKS., through
tho (Jazette Areheologique, though
nearly a century ago it formed part of a
famous uugusii coueouon. i no suu
joot is Jupiter vKgloohus, wearing tho
Bodonean oak leaf wreath; a troatmont
so rare that only ono other i( presenta
tion of it is known in art, and only two
Homeric lines authenticate the joining
of tho attributes together. For size,
vigor of treatment, rarity of subject,
proof of tho identity of the sumo as to-
(initorliil and place or origin ny its
nroelniiH limculatinns. as well us for tho
high estimate put upon the innnonso
(rem by savants ana giypunogisis, anu
fume in tho learned journals, this gom
lias no poor." N. V. Tribune.
EDITORIAL ENTERPRISE.
How n Wlclo-A wnlo Newspaper 3Iuil
l'eathered HU Dull Nest.
"Suppose," said tho city editor to tho
young man with cheeked trousers who
applied for a situation as a reporter,
"you go out and write up an account ot
this funeral."
Tho now reporter started forth, and
in tho course of time handed in tho fol
lowing: "Tho funeral of Mr. Silas Jones was a
grand but solemn ailalr. Iltero was
u profusion of (lowers from Brlggs,
tho llorlsts, and any quantity of
rich mourning drosses, most of
which wero from Smith & Co. 's dry
goods store. Tho long, somber proces
sion composed of carriages from Robin
son's livery stable, headed by thohoarso
belonging to Jenkins, tho undertaker in
charge, moved toward tho last resting
phico over tho smooth road that had so
reii'Jiitly been regraded by Brown &
Sons, contractors. Tho ceremony in tho
cemetery was Intprosslvo and in ovory
way satisfactory."
The report was, very much garbled by
tho city editor, hut the.' reporter is woar
Ing fiowors, receiving boxes from Smith
& Co., and talcing frequent carriago
rides, Just tho sanio. rloruhant Trav
eler. V
A KuUicuniit DtfccoveryJ'
Archie do Vou (joalouslyjv Wlwwaa
that scare-orow yeu-ust mot, tha
staks? V
Attilud Ulnuumti That wilMau nU r
friend of mlno. . "
Archlo do Vou Ah! lndoed(tHUKiU
ttcully), was ho tho ugliest unW yap'
could JlndV
Mabel lllossom (swootly) Yw
m r . 4. . A 1 u
Tlmo.