The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918, May 02, 1889, Image 2

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The Oregon scout., May 02, 1889, Image 2

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Newspaper Page TextFROM THE CAPITOL. JUDGE THURMAN CALLS UPON THE PRESIDENT. Senator John Sherman and Family to Go to Europo Lyman E. Knapp of Vermont, Appointed Govrnor of Alaska. The President's health has improved. Judge Tliurman called tion the Pres ident Thursday. . Albert M. BrooVs has been appointed postmaster at Seattle. General Sohofield will inspect all mil itary jKJsts next month. Senator John Sherman and family will soon make a trip to Europe. W. 0. Bradley, of Kentucky, has de clined the Corean mission. The supremo court will adjourn for the miinmcr on tho 13th of May. J. A. Pickler, of 'Dakota has been up IHjinted inspector of public lands. Senator Higgins is tho first Republi can senator elected from Delaware. Lyman E. Knapp, of Vermont, has been appointed governor of Alaska. The pension office has allowed a claim of $14,000 to Phillip Flood for arrears. The successor to tho Chinese minister sit Washington has boon decided upon. Monday is now a day on which the President will not receive oflicc-seekcrs. 11. G. Jacobs has been appointed su !erintendont of construction at Ios An geles. Thomas II. Sherman, of Maine, will he appointed consul-general at Liver pool. Secretary Rusk will reduce tho number of employes in tlio agricultural depart ment. Ex-consul general to Samoa Sewall has been apiointod disbursing agent at Jierlin. William Woods, convicted of murder in Arkansas, has been pardoned by the President. John T. Scott has been appointed su lterintendont of public buildings at Port Townsend. The work of re-organizing the consular Hcrvico was commenced this week by Secretary Blaino. B. M. Read, jr., of Washington terri tory, lias been appointed register of tlio land olllce at Seattle. C. M. Ogpen has been appointed spec ial timber agent of tho land ofllco in Washington territory. (Ecuador will bo represented at the conference of American states to bo held ait Washington October 4th. .Major Amies is being tried by court martial tit Washington for having pulled tho nose of General Beaver. The Rev. Dr. Scott, tho President's fa-her-in-law, keeps steadily at work at his desk iu the pension ollice. Henry W. Raymond, of Pennsylvania. Ditis received tho appointment of private secretary fo Secretary Tracy. It In mid tbat the President will not confine himself to party lines iu his ap pointment of .Southern officials. Mrs. Harrison denies that any discrim ination litis been made at tho White house against colored domestics. The secretary of war has ordered that the new military post near Denver shall be named in honor of Gen. lxigan. Tho comptroller of the currency has authorized the Citizens' National bank to begin business at Spokane Falls. The President will only appoint moil of ability to ollice iu tho South. Party lines in such cases will bo ignored. All tlio states and the territory of Da kota have been provided by congress with agricultural experiment stations. The state of Wisconsin has been trans ferred from the military department of tlio East to tho department ol Dakota. In the selection of Indian agents the secretary of the Interior has decided not to appoint men residing near reservations. Tho secretary has received informa tion from the couhiiI at Rio do Janeiro of tho prevalence of yellow fover at that place. Commissioner Stocksltigor estimates that fully L),),000 people are now ready to enter Oklahoma, ten to each homo stead. Tho maintenance of war ships at Sa moa will be discountenanced at the Ber lin conference by tho American re pro untatives. Tito secretary of stato has been in formed by tho American consul at Pana ma that thero is now no danger of trouble ou tho Isthmus. Tho charges of Insubordination pre ferred against Ensign Schwerln whilo in Alaskan waters, have been dismissed by the navy department. Tho lioiid of Mr. Huston, iih tieasurer, has 1hoii approved, but ho will not take immodtato osscsstou until tuo moneys shall have been counted. Pension Commissioner Tanner will noon commence a thorough investigation of Ills department with tho view of un earthing supposed frauds. Tho New York Knights of Ijilwr havo .asked Secretary Windom to prevent the landing of silk weavers, alleged to be on their way under contract from Switzer land. Secretary Xohlo has apiohitod B. V. Kaysor and wife, of Marlon, 111,, assist jint HuiH'rintendont and matron respect ively of tho Indian school, at Warm prfiigs, Oregon. Tlio naval commissioners apwinted to select a sito for tlio new navy yard in the northwest, havo finally decided upon a twlutou Puget sound, midway between Jseattlo ttiidTaooma. A mistake) in tho President's procla mation opening tho territory of Okla homa has had tho utlect of excluding government officials who had boon ui iKiintod to ojien tho two land offices In that district. Secretary Rusk has been married twice, and has been a Journeyman coop er, a farmer, stage driver, soldier, gov .trnor and praeffcal iolitIclnn. 1 THE PACIFIC COAST. THE CALIFORNIA POWDER WORKS EXPLODED. The United States Grand Jury at Port Townsend, Indict Herbert Beechor, Wm. Harned and Qulncy A. Brooks for Malfeasance. Bees are not permitted in Los An geles. At Ixxli, Cal. 3000 acres aro planted to watermelons. The Canyon Diablo train robbers have been captured. A largo hotel for tourists is to bo built at Santa Rosa. I Tho iK)lice at Los Angeles have closed I ..ii ri.i! an gaiiiuiuig games. Carson, Nov., has succeeded in stamp ing out the nmall-pox. An artesian well, 1000 feet deep, is to bo bored at Alila, Cal. Fully 10,000 people aro now out of work in San Francisco. Mnrysvillc, Cal., is now making iargo shipments of strawberries. 1'iX-Sonator Vrooman dropped dead at Oakland, Cal., Wednesday. Two colored men have been placed on the Los Angeles police force. Miss Verona Baldwin has been sent to the insane asylum at Napa. Rev. Samuel Miller, of Scio, drooped dead of apoplexy Thursday. A. J. Crab fell in a cellar at Wallula, last week, breaking his neck. A band of ten Indians are creating ter ror on the Colvillo reservation. Mrs. L. C. Anderson cut her throat with a razor at Spokano Falls Thursday. Tho relief station at Point Barrow, Alaska, will not bo established this year. Ex-Lord High Sheriff Hubbell, of lin den, lingland, was in hau Francisco last week. Tho head of a fireman killed in a rail road accident near Reno last week could not bo found. The oltl board of directors of the Ore gon and California Railroad company havo been re-elected. A Chinaman fell on a gang-saw at Port Discovery, Saturday, and his head was severed from tho body. The canned fruit organization at San Francisco is again making an eilbrt to re duce transcontinental rates. Absoloin Parker, a stage driver at Spo kono Falls, was shot and killed last week by his employer, Frank Martin. Mrs. A. F. Webber, (12 years old, fell fifteen feet oil' a bridge and a horse fell on her at, Collegeville, Cal., last week. John Kelly, of Portland, has been ap pointed by the governor to represent the stato at tho World's exposition at Paris. W. Parbcrry, aged (10, was found dead on tho poareh of his cabin, livo miles iiIkivo Volcano, llo bad been murdered. The California powder works at Pi llule, Cal., exploded Wednesday, instant ly killing S. M. Swan, and injuring C. Scssing. Tho Sacramento Board of Trade is se riously considering the matter of the pro posed branch ra'lroad to Amador county direct from that city. Santa Rosa, Cal., is making prepara tions to protect itself against tlio hood lum element which visits that place dur ing the picnic season. Miss May Carroll's eyes, it is feared, were entirely destroyed by a lotion ap plied to her face for neuralgia by a Los Angeles druggist's clerk. The book-keeper who stole $r00 from tho First National Bank of Butte, M. T., was captured at Helena and taken to Butte. G. W. Callahan has been arrested at Los Angeles for passing forged checks. 11c, it is believed, is thosanio person who victimized people of Stockton. A wharf 2000 feel long is projected for Santa Monica. Los Angeles is raising subscriptions for tho work, and Santa Monica will givo $20,000 toward it. A judgement was entered at San Diego last week for $8li,3ii0, with $0,600 addi tional for counsel fees, against the ex Mission Land and Water company. Six men have been arrested at Ban ning, Cal., for unlawfully seizing and im prisoning A. Knight, a rancher, whom tlio men had accused of stealing cattle. A boy by the name of O'Donnell, alias A. M. Allen, of Texas, was sent to jail at Red BlutF, Wednesday, for ono month for forging a pass ou tlio O. It. it. N. mil road. A sensation has been created at Los Angeles by tho statement that W. N. Monroe, mayor of Monrovia, has lied to Mexico to escape prosecution for sharp practices. Tho United Stales grand jury at Port Tow nsend has indicted Herbert Beechor, William Harned and Qulncy A. Brooks for malfeasance whilo iu charge of tho custom houso at that place. Mayor Moran, of Seattle, W. T.. has suspended Chief of Pollco Mitchell for malfeasance in olllco and nominated Cap tain Williard to act in his stead. The charge against .Mitchell is collusion witii gamblers. E. B. Gifl'ord, of San Dingo, has match ed Otto Rex against McCarthy's Lena Wilkes for $1000. Tho trot is to como oil" at Ixis Angeles somo tinio in next Decem ber. San Diagans regard Otto Rex as a world-beater. Pat Bagin, a ranchor with a family, living livo miles from Susanvillo, Cal., was found near his house Thursday night in a pond of water dead, with a rojH) around his nock, tho ropo bolng at tached to a stone. Tho people of Fan Luis Obisjto proiwse to givo thu Southern Pacific railroad, from Santa Murgharita to San Luis, the right-of-way from tho mouth of tho tun nel to tho city, and also tho railroad grounds for doK)ts, etc, A decision iu the railroad commission CI1HO in wrcgou, W lioro iipoiniiiieni m-ru made IkjIIi by tho government and the legislature, has Inien decided against Governor Ponnoycr. Tho case will be taken to tho supremo court. , OVER THE STATES. NATURAL GAS DISCOVERED IN KENTUCKY. Tho Wife of Theodore ThomaB Dead An Attempt to Assassinate the CzBr of Russia General Boulangor a Refugee. Murders nrc on the increase in Paris. Labor strikes in Germany continue. A regency lias been established in Hol land. Denver bus organized a law and order league. General Houlangcr is a refugee from Trance. Natural gas has been discovered in Kentucky. Onions aro ono cent a bushel in Can astoga, N. V. Tho Eiffel tower in Paris will be 1000 feet in height. Gladstone presided at the Parncll ban quet on the 11th. A heavy snow-storm raged throughout Old Virginia last week. The wife of Theodore Thomas died at New York Wednesday. The town of Smithficld, N. C, was de stroyed by fire last week. A panic prevailed at Pcrcyville, la., last week, over mad dogs. Henry George has made a number of speeches in England recently. Tour " marbled polecats " aro the lat est arrivals at the London zoo. An attempt was made to assassinate the Czar of Hussia last week. Governor Wolf ley was hanged in efligy at Flagstafl", Ariz., Thursday. The Lincoln monument at Springfield. 111., is rapidly falling to pieces. Tho Michigan legislature has made it a criminal oflense to sell a cigarette. The Smithsonian institute has re ceived three elk from Bullalo Bill. The German man-of-war Olga, recently beached at Samoa, has been floated. Tho recent losses by fire in Savanah, Georgia, is estimated to bo $1,000,000. The report of the English admiralty is tbat tho navy of that country is inellicent. Tho effort to declare tho present Chi cago city government invalid, fell through. The world's conference of Latter Day saints was held,at St. Joseph, Mo., last week. Canada is in favor of a partial but not an entire reciprocity with the United States. Lewis Conklin, of Port Jervis, L. I., was brained by his wife with an ax, Tuesday. The Oklahoma boomers encamped around Caldwell, Kan., Wednesday, num bered 2000. A negro at Clinton, Wis., broke his neck whilo trying to pull his own tooth Wednesday. Thieves steal horses and buggies at Chicago and ship them to Denver where they aro sold. Snow as black and dirty as if it had been trampled underfoot, fell at Aitken, Minn., last week. Mosolla Whilo, a music teacher, was arrested at Sustiuohana, Pa., Wednesday, for stealing $16,000. Sandy Carty, a negro desperado, killed Police Captain John It. Miller at Besse mer, Ala., Sunday. The U. S. steamer Pensacola, which went down in a storm last week at Nor folk, has been raised. The Sultan of Turkey has discovered a plot to depose him and to place his brother's heir on tho throno. The All-urottiuMho-world baseballists were entertained in sumptuous stylo on their arrival in Now York last week. Major Amies has mado an abject apol ogy to General Beaver for pulling tho hitter's nose at Washington recently. Leo Sing, a wealthy merchant of Den ver, was arrested in Chicago Tuesday for eloping with another Chinaman's wife. Russell Harrison was arrested in New York Friday, on a charge of criminal li bel against ex-Governor Crosby of Mon tana. There aro said to be only three of the war governors now living Blair of Mich igan, Curtin of Pennsylvania, and Kirk wood of Iowa. The Finporor of Brazil iB about to is sue an edict prohibiting Brazilian girls from marrying until they arrive at the ago of ton years. Ellison Hatfield; one of the Hattield McCoy gang of Kentucky desperadoes, now in jail, confesses to three cold blooded murders. Kilraiu and Sullivan have agreed to light for a wager of $10,000. It is earnest ly hoped by a long suflbring public that it will bo a la Kilkenny in every sense of tho word. Tho prohibition stale of Iowa has had flvo murder trials so far this year within its liordors, in each of which intoxica tion was urged by tho defense as a miti gating circumstance of tho crime. Andrew Carnegie, in a speech in tho Pennsylvania houso of representatives Tuesday, declared that tho Pennsylva nia Central railroad was injuring" tho value of property in largo sections of tho stato. It is said that a lack of coal at Pago Pa go harlor, Samoa, was tho cause of tho recent disaster to shipping. The absence of coal prevented tho German and American war-ships maintaining steam, henco thoy were at tho mercy of tho storm. Manuel Perales do Salinas and Dio uisio Blanco, tho latter n nephew of ox President Blanco, wero arrested in Now Orleans, last week, on a telegram from tho Mexican legation at Washington on the charge of forgery nml robbery, com mitted in Mexico, Editor Stead, of tho "Pnll Mall Ga lotto." lxmdou, whilo inspecting tho ElH'ol tower at Paris, last week, stumbled over some loose Iioards and only saved himself by clinging to some projecting iron from an 800-foot fall. lie was re leased from his perilous position by workmen, HOME AND FARM. INVESTIGATION INTO THE ORIGIN OF HOG CHOLERA. The Superiority of Carrots and Mangle Wurtzols as a Food for Milk Cows Yield of an Acre of Land In StrawDerrios. There are in this country, according to the government statistical bureau report, 44,012, S37 head of hogs, breeding ani mals and young pigs. Select seed corn carefully from the best stalks, choosing the choicest ears, and then hang them in a perfectly dry place where they cannot freeze. A grindstone conveniently placed ready for use, leaves no excuse" for working with a dull axe or other cutting instru ment that never docs good w ork. Leather, as it slowly decomposes, gives oil" fertilizing matter. Somo people like to bury old boots and shoes near grape vines or trees whore their valuable qualities are realized. To make hens lay. make a mush of coarse corn-meal, boiling in a large red pepper in each two quarts of the water. Cook for an hour and feed hot. Boiled apple skins seasoned with red pepper is also good. During the summer a great deal of rub bish collects in the garden, and perhaps in tho o'chard. All this ought to be raked up and burned, or otherwise dis posed of. If left on the ground, it fur nishes food for insects. Mashed Potatoes: Boil a quantity of potatoes and pass them through a sieve. Put them into a saucepan witii a good lump of butter, and salt to taste; add a little milk, and work them well with a spoon on a slow fire for a few minutes, adding small quantities of milk as it is required, until they get of the desired consistency. Potato Puddini:: Boil four large po tatoes and pass them through a 'sieve; stir into them powdered loaf sugar to taste, and the yelks of two or three eggs; add a few drops of essence of lemon, then the whites of the eggs whisked to a froth ; mix quickly and well ; pour into a plain mould, buttered and bread-crutned, and bake for twenty minutes in a quick oven. An acre of land will produce five or six times as many strawberries, in bushels, as it will of wheat, and the prices usually obtained for strawberries are more than thrco times as much as for wheat. One aero of strawberries will bring as much profit as fifteen acres of wheat, while the cost ef raising tho strawberries is propor tionately but little more than that of pro ducing wheat. An extensive apple-grower in Illinois is said to plant only half as far apart as tho trees should stand permanently, and then he" brings three-fourths of them into bearing as soon as possiblo by girdling, letting them produce all they" will until the permanent ones need the" room. The girdled trees are then cut out and the others have all tho needed space for growth and productiveness. Have you a good stock of carrots and mangle "wurtzols in your cellars for your milk cows? If you have you aro a lucky man. If you have not, it'is too late now to provide them, but make your calcula tions to sow the seeds of them liberally the present season. Yru will never com plain that you have too many of such roots for your stock. Cows, oxen, horses, and sheep actually need green food in winter as much as in summer. Thero is no doubt whatever about the benefits to be derived from a well-conducted creamery, observes a Dakota far mer, not onlv to the farmers, but to ev ery one within the limits of operations. It gives tho fanner a cash market for his cream, and enables him to pay cash for supplies. It gives him an inducement to better his stocK, and to employ better and more profitable methods of caring for them, in addition to many other benefits. Cold Slaw : Put three tablespoonfuls of vinegar in a saucepan with a little salt and popper; beat two eggs very light and mix with a teaspoonful of sifted flour, ji teaspoonful of butter, a teaspoonful of sugar and a half teaspoonful of ground mustard. Set the vinegar on the stove, and when it boils stir in the mixture, adding half a cup of milk. Cook for two minutes stirring constantly. Pour the sauce over the shred cabbage and let it becomo cold before serving. Oysters a la Boulette: Put one quart of oysters in their own liquor. Let come to a boil, turn in a hot dish, strain. Put two ounces of buffer in a saucepan, let heat, sprinkle in a tablespoonful of sifted flour, let cook one minute, stir and add a cupful of the oyster liquor. Take from the flro and mix in the yelks of two eggs, a little salt, a very little pepper, one teaspoonful of lemon juice and one grated nutmeg. Beat well, return to tho fire, heat well, but not boil. Drop in the oys ters. Dish and boil. Salad dressing for Oysters : Take tho yelKs of three raw eggs, a small table spoonful of mustard, a teaspoonful of salt, two tablespoonfuls of white sugar, an atom of cayenne peper, a cup of oil or butter melte'd, a small half-cup of vin egar, the juico of a lemon. Beat the eggs vorv light with tho sugar, add tho mus tard salt and pepper. Mix in tho butter and vinegar in small quantities alternate ly, and, just before jouring over the salad add two cups of whipped cream. To wliip cream, let it stay on the ice a few hours, thou whip with an eggbeater. Potato Balls: Take half dozen pota toes, boil them, pass them through a sieve, and work into them in a lowl ono gill ol cream and tho yelks of thrco eggs; add pepper, salt anil nutmeg to taste, and some jmrsloy finely chopped. When they aro well mixed and smooth, take thein up by tablestxxmfuls, roll each in a ball, flatten it and flour it slightly. Iay them in a saueo-pan with plenty of butter melted, and cook them slowly. Turn them over when one side is clone, and servo hot as soon as both sides are colored. Tho agricultural department after1 ''are ful investigation into tho origin of hog cholera, is said to havo proven conclu sively that it results from tho us of car rion food dropped by buzzards, whilo tho habits of the liog arc such that ono in a herd being attacked will soon spread the disease, Typhus fover in man lias leen traced to tho use of infected meat, of ani mals slaughtered to avoid tho disease. Thorough cooking of ork in affected dis tricts will alono prevent man's liability to typhus fover from that causo. Imme diate isolation of directed animals is ree-omended. PORTLAND MARKET. CROPS GIVE PROMISE OF A GOOD HARVEST. In Sugars we Note a Slight Advance Cured Meats aro About Steady Oranges and Apples Find Sale at Good Prices. The lack of rainfall has not brought forth any serious complaint from the farming community, and so far the crops give every promise of a good harvest. Sugars have advanced since our last re jwrt. Cured meats are unchanged. Ap ples and oranges of the best variety find ready sale. Butter is rather weak, but choice dairy is suitable at fair prices. A drop of a few cents in wheat has occur red since our last reort. The market is quiet in feedstuff's, bran commanding a fair price. The local freight market is without any new business lo reort for tho week, and rates aro therefore nomi nal. anocKitiES. Sugars, Golden C 0r extra C dry granulated Se, cube, crushed and powdered 8?jC. Coffee: Costa Rica and Rio 21 K&SJlKv, Java 25 27c. Mocha 28 ale, Arbuckle's roasted 25?jC I'JtOVIKIONB. Oregon ham VlK(tV.W, breakfast ba con 120'e, sides lOalOSjC, shoulders 9 O'.jc. Eastern ham ll&..($13,lc;, break fast bacon 12e. sides IOC'S 10 '..e. Lard has declined lc, 10s 8!ac, 6s 8?.4c. FKC1TS. Navel oranges .$1.76, Riversides $3.23. California lemons $3.504 per box, ap ples $1.2o1.76 VEOETAItI.ES. Potatoes 30(t'36c, onions 00$1, rheu barb 10c, tomatoes .$2.50 per box. diced Knurrs. Apples o6c, sliced Cj-2c, apricots 13 14c, peaches i)12c, pears !lo. Oregon prunes, Italian, 8c, silver 7c, German 5 (W7e, plums 5(T07e. Kaisins $2 per box, California figs 8c. DAIKY l'ltODUCE. Butter, Oregon fancy 25c, medium 20c, Eastern 22c, California 1820c. EQGS. Eggs 13c. l'OUl.TUY. Chickens $4li.60, ducks $10311 per doz., geese $10012, turkeys l718c peril). WOOL. Valley 17al8e, Eastern Oregon 815". icors. Hops 1017c. OKA IN'. Wheat, Valley $127Kal.30, Eastern $1.26. Oats30,31c. Kl.OUIt. Standard $4.25, other brands $3.00. FEED. Hay $1316 per ton. bran $15al5, shorts $lljaI7. barley $22.5025, mill chop $18ti20. FRESH MEATS. Beef, live. 3,o, dressed 7c, mutton, live, 3 'c, dressed 7c, lambs $2.60 each, hogs livo (5c, dressed 77Jc, veal G8c. Tbcro's a certain well known reporter wbose writing is so bad that oven his best friends do not attempt to read it. Ono afternoon he dropped several sheets of his notes ou tho floor of tho surrogate's ofllco and they wero ufterwnrds picked tip by ono of tho attaches of tho office, a violinist. lie took them home niid played from them, but was surprised when Sidney told him they wero news uotes and not violin notes. He could not bo con vinced, howover, that they wero not intended for music Bulla lo News. A Iteiihonulilo Time, "You must givo me time, George, to think it over. It is nil o strange, so unexpected." "I will give you a year's time if ypu wish it. .My love for you is great enough to bear that strain." ''Oh, I don't want a year givo mo flvo minutes." Life. Tlio Wntrhwiml Was Distorted. Tho colored brother has a wonderful ca laeity for adapting a word to his souses. ' During tho war," said a well known vet eran, "no often had trouble in getting up a list of countersigns. I had tho matter in charge, and took n list of European battles. It was a colored regiment. Tho countersign for tho night was 'Austerlitz,' In tho even ing I tried to got into tho lines and was halted. I gave tho countersign, 'Auster litz.' '"Dat ain't right, sah, said tho darky, ami ho called tho provost, who was also colored. When that officer canio, I com plained that tho sentry didn't kuow tho countersign. "'What is it, sahr asked tho provost of me. " 'Austerlitz,' I answered. " 'You aro wrong, sah,' said he. I was put under arrest, and it took tho colonel to get mo out. What 'do you supposo tho darlties had mado out of tho original couutersignf Oyster shells.' "Washington Post. She Wan "Strictly lluilnrss." Philadelphia Aunt (sovorely) As I glanced luto tlio parlor last oveulng I saw you with a young man's arm around you. Chicago Nieco (calmly) Yes, auntlo, I was waiting for you to jwiss tho door and see- us. Young men uro very slippery nowadays, and ono can't havo too many witnesses. Phila delphia Record. Tho President has announced his in tention of vigorously enforcing tho law against land-grabbcra and iorsons tres passing ujHjn tho public domain. Mrs. Harrison is said to havo mado ar rangements with the manager of a Now York news bureau, by which sho is to pay $100 a month to know what all tho nowspaiwrs of tho country say about the Harrison family. Secretary Windom has sustained the action of tho collector of customs at New York in refusing to allow a Swiss imi grant to land because of having como to this country in violation of tho law gov erning tho importation of foreign pauper bettor. CONCERNING CRANKS. A i:nrt-l.mil "t Truth rrfiriitrd Tor the i:. intention of IMiiIm anil Oilier. Tho crank is tho medium through which motion is imparted to till ma chinery, and tho cranic in society is tho medium through which till original ideas tiro forced through tho thick skulls of mankind in general. Tho crank rises above tho teeming millions beeuuso he is difTeront from them, and that difference, which consists in tho possession of a small but carefully-selected stock of brains, makes him con spicuous. Tho crank does not attract attention by acting as hostler and stn-ble-mtin to a pair of Siberian blood hounds or ti St. Bernard dog which was bred iu Hester street and whose an cestors smelt salt-water only when fish brine was put on them to kill Ileus. The crank does not wear a button-holo bouquet because eve -y ass on his street does. Tho crank goes four blocks out of his way to return u borrowed um brella. Ho does not try to talk Eng lish and dress Cockney when his fea tures reveal tho fact that for fourteen generations his nose litis been used in New England to split pumpkins on, and his cheek bones shine like red mo v ceo pads on a coach harness. He does not chango his suits as many times in a day as tho trump does in n euchro deck." just to bo in fashion. Tho cranic does not borrow livo dollars of every man who smokes n cigar with him. and ho will pay a debt more readily than a compliment. The crank is prompt, sharp and savory, and so is stilt, but both aro pretty necessary in the world and in well-regulated food. Young men. you may have heard ol Columbus not in Ohio, but Genoa, Italy. He was a crank, llo told the whole world, "Go west, young man, go west," and it went west, and tho Gould system of railroads and tho now aque duct, not to spoalc of tho Rochester knoekings and the moro persistent and olTectual knoekings of John L. Sullivan, litis grown out of that advice. When Columbus refused to buy his wife n pug dog, and continued to wear tight pants after tho fashion changed, tlio popiilaeo of Genoa called him a crank; but ho got thoro all the same, and had a cannon named after him, tho Columbiad, which sounded and kicked, both liko thunder. Galileo was a crank. Ho assorted in one of his advertisements of a clock ho had patented: "Tho world moves, great reduction in clocks," and thoy snatched him up and told him to recant. "Re cant," said ho, "1 nlly can't." and went on and perfected his inventions, which resulted in the Waterbury watch. Washington was a crank. In 1775 you e mid find a million people in Eng land who said ho was a crank. Thoy told him in '7(1 that it was till right for tho colonies to submit, and remarked of the stamp act, "It's English, don't chew know;" and Wash carefully plac ed his tliiun on his no-'e and worked his fingers liko a fan as ho remarked: "That's what's tho matter." And tho English wished to got his remains to hold a post mortem on, but Washing ton put himself in tho hands of his friends and they elected him father of his country, which position ho will probably hold a good while. Oh, what a crank Lincoln was! How his clothes wouldn't fit him, and ho had bunions on his big feot. and his trous ers bagged at tho knee, and m, my, what ti groat homely mouth ho had; and stories well, boys, if I catch any of you telling Lincoln's stories 1 will pull you bald-headed. Well. 1 say no more. There never was a great man yet who did not begin business as a crank. 1 would rather bo a speckled bean in a two-bushel bag of nice white ones than to loo my identity as ono of the two millions. I want to find the young man you called a crank. He can tako my fine boots and gold watch when ho goos to a parly, and can go fishing with mo in .luno. I want to bo on tho right side of that youth. Ho will boablo to givo mo a post-ollico if ho lives 'twenty years. All of you who havo brains enough may go now and digest this cart-load oi truth. Judge. Satisfaction Wanted. Magistrato (to Mrs. Con Kelly) You claim, Mrs. Kelly, that Mrs. O'Tooli hau gave you that bruised and black ened face. Mrs. Con Kelly She did, yor-'honor, or I'm not Irish born. Magistrato And what you want ia damages? Mrs. Kelly Naw, sir; I want satis faction. 1 havo damages enough. llarpor's Magazine. m Cverestimated His Strength. "I think I must havo overestimated my personal magnetism and popu larity," sad a badly defeated ofllco seokor. "Whatovor induced you to think that you possessed thoso qualifications?" in quired his unsytnpathotlo wife. "Because," ho replied, sadly, "my ntuno is Robort, but every body calls mo Bob." N. Y. Sun. Twenty-seven years ago, says tno Boston Journal, an acorn lodged some how in tho mortar or between the stonos of an Ohio court-houso splro, took root, and sent out an oak shoot. To-day a miniature oak grows on thu splro eighty feot from tho ground. It draws lifo from tho comont, tho "skin of tho rock," and tho air, but princi pally from tho air, as thoro is vory lit tle cement in tho splro. m m A lady of Springfield, III., having publicly lectured on mnrrlago as a fail ure, u newspaper man wont to work and proved tbat sho had boon engaged and jilted three dl'lTcreut times.