FROM THE CAPITOL.
JUDGE THURMAN CALLS UPON THE
PRESIDENT.
Senator John Sherman and Family to
Go to Europo Lyman E. Knapp
of Vermont, Appointed
Govrnor of Alaska.
The President's health has improved.
Judge Tliurman called tion the Pres
ident Thursday. .
Albert M. BrooVs has been appointed
postmaster at Seattle.
General Sohofield will inspect all mil
itary jKJsts next month.
Senator John Sherman and family will
soon make a trip to Europe.
W. 0. Bradley, of Kentucky, has de
clined the Corean mission.
The supremo court will adjourn for the
miinmcr on tho 13th of May.
J. A. Pickler, of 'Dakota has been up
IHjinted inspector of public lands.
Senator Higgins is tho first Republi
can senator elected from Delaware.
Lyman E. Knapp, of Vermont, has
been appointed governor of Alaska.
The pension office has allowed a claim
of $14,000 to Phillip Flood for arrears.
The successor to tho Chinese minister
sit Washington has boon decided upon.
Monday is now a day on which the
President will not receive oflicc-seekcrs.
11. G. Jacobs has been appointed su
!erintendont of construction at Ios An
geles. Thomas II. Sherman, of Maine, will
he appointed consul-general at Liver
pool. Secretary Rusk will reduce tho number
of employes in tlio agricultural depart
ment. Ex-consul general to Samoa Sewall
has been apiointod disbursing agent at
Jierlin.
William Woods, convicted of murder
in Arkansas, has been pardoned by the
President.
John T. Scott has been appointed su
lterintendont of public buildings at Port
Townsend.
The work of re-organizing the consular
Hcrvico was commenced this week by
Secretary Blaino.
B. M. Read, jr., of Washington terri
tory, lias been appointed register of tlio
land olllce at Seattle.
C. M. Ogpen has been appointed spec
ial timber agent of tho land ofllco in
Washington territory.
(Ecuador will bo represented at the
conference of American states to bo held
ait Washington October 4th.
.Major Amies is being tried by court
martial tit Washington for having pulled
tho nose of General Beaver.
The Rev. Dr. Scott, tho President's
fa-her-in-law, keeps steadily at work at
his desk iu the pension ollice.
Henry W. Raymond, of Pennsylvania.
Ditis received tho appointment of private
secretary fo Secretary Tracy.
It In mid tbat the President will not
confine himself to party lines iu his ap
pointment of .Southern officials.
Mrs. Harrison denies that any discrim
ination litis been made at tho White
house against colored domestics.
The secretary of war has ordered that
the new military post near Denver shall
be named in honor of Gen. lxigan.
Tho comptroller of the currency has
authorized the Citizens' National bank
to begin business at Spokane Falls.
The President will only appoint moil
of ability to ollice iu tho South. Party
lines in such cases will bo ignored.
All tlio states and the territory of Da
kota have been provided by congress
with agricultural experiment stations.
The state of Wisconsin has been trans
ferred from the military department of
tlio East to tho department ol Dakota.
In the selection of Indian agents the
secretary of the Interior has decided not
to appoint men residing near reservations.
Tho secretary has received informa
tion from the couhiiI at Rio do Janeiro of
tho prevalence of yellow fover at that
place.
Commissioner Stocksltigor estimates
that fully L),),000 people are now ready
to enter Oklahoma, ten to each homo
stead. Tho maintenance of war ships at Sa
moa will be discountenanced at the Ber
lin conference by tho American re pro
untatives. Tito secretary of stato has been in
formed by tho American consul at Pana
ma that thero is now no danger of trouble
ou tho Isthmus.
Tho charges of Insubordination pre
ferred against Ensign Schwerln whilo in
Alaskan waters, have been dismissed by
the navy department.
Tho lioiid of Mr. Huston, iih tieasurer,
has 1hoii approved, but ho will not take
immodtato osscsstou until tuo moneys
shall have been counted.
Pension Commissioner Tanner will
noon commence a thorough investigation
of Ills department with tho view of un
earthing supposed frauds.
Tho New York Knights of Ijilwr havo
.asked Secretary Windom to prevent the
landing of silk weavers, alleged to be on
their way under contract from Switzer
land. Secretary Xohlo has apiohitod B. V.
Kaysor and wife, of Marlon, 111,, assist
jint HuiH'rintendont and matron respect
ively of tho Indian school, at Warm
prfiigs, Oregon.
Tlio naval commissioners apwinted to
select a sito for tlio new navy yard in the
northwest, havo finally decided upon a
twlutou Puget sound, midway between
Jseattlo ttiidTaooma.
A mistake) in tho President's procla
mation opening tho territory of Okla
homa has had tho utlect of excluding
government officials who had boon ui
iKiintod to ojien tho two land offices In
that district.
Secretary Rusk has been married
twice, and has been a Journeyman coop
er, a farmer, stage driver, soldier, gov
.trnor and praeffcal iolitIclnn. 1
THE PACIFIC COAST.
THE CALIFORNIA POWDER WORKS
EXPLODED.
The United States Grand Jury at Port
Townsend, Indict Herbert Beechor,
Wm. Harned and Qulncy A.
Brooks for Malfeasance.
Bees are not permitted in Los An
geles. At Ixxli, Cal. 3000 acres aro planted to
watermelons.
The Canyon Diablo train robbers have
been captured.
A largo hotel for tourists is to bo built
at Santa Rosa.
I Tho iK)lice at Los Angeles have closed
I ..ii ri.i!
an gaiiiuiuig games.
Carson, Nov., has succeeded in stamp
ing out the nmall-pox.
An artesian well, 1000 feet deep, is to
bo bored at Alila, Cal.
Fully 10,000 people aro now out of
work in San Francisco.
Mnrysvillc, Cal., is now making iargo
shipments of strawberries.
1'iX-Sonator Vrooman dropped dead at
Oakland, Cal., Wednesday.
Two colored men have been placed on
the Los Angeles police force.
Miss Verona Baldwin has been sent to
the insane asylum at Napa.
Rev. Samuel Miller, of Scio, drooped
dead of apoplexy Thursday.
A. J. Crab fell in a cellar at Wallula,
last week, breaking his neck.
A band of ten Indians are creating ter
ror on the Colvillo reservation.
Mrs. L. C. Anderson cut her throat
with a razor at Spokano Falls Thursday.
Tho relief station at Point Barrow,
Alaska, will not bo established this year.
Ex-Lord High Sheriff Hubbell, of lin
den, lingland, was in hau Francisco last
week.
Tho head of a fireman killed in a rail
road accident near Reno last week could
not bo found.
The oltl board of directors of the Ore
gon and California Railroad company
havo been re-elected.
A Chinaman fell on a gang-saw at
Port Discovery, Saturday, and his head
was severed from tho body.
The canned fruit organization at San
Francisco is again making an eilbrt to re
duce transcontinental rates.
Absoloin Parker, a stage driver at Spo
kono Falls, was shot and killed last week
by his employer, Frank Martin.
Mrs. A. F. Webber, (12 years old, fell
fifteen feet oil' a bridge and a horse fell
on her at, Collegeville, Cal., last week.
John Kelly, of Portland, has been ap
pointed by the governor to represent the
stato at tho World's exposition at Paris.
W. Parbcrry, aged (10, was found dead
on tho poareh of his cabin, livo miles
iiIkivo Volcano, llo bad been murdered.
The California powder works at Pi
llule, Cal., exploded Wednesday, instant
ly killing S. M. Swan, and injuring C.
Scssing.
Tho Sacramento Board of Trade is se
riously considering the matter of the pro
posed branch ra'lroad to Amador county
direct from that city.
Santa Rosa, Cal., is making prepara
tions to protect itself against tlio hood
lum element which visits that place dur
ing the picnic season.
Miss May Carroll's eyes, it is feared,
were entirely destroyed by a lotion ap
plied to her face for neuralgia by a Los
Angeles druggist's clerk.
The book-keeper who stole $r00 from
tho First National Bank of Butte, M. T.,
was captured at Helena and taken to
Butte.
G. W. Callahan has been arrested at
Los Angeles for passing forged checks.
11c, it is believed, is thosanio person who
victimized people of Stockton.
A wharf 2000 feel long is projected for
Santa Monica. Los Angeles is raising
subscriptions for tho work, and Santa
Monica will givo $20,000 toward it.
A judgement was entered at San Diego
last week for $8li,3ii0, with $0,600 addi
tional for counsel fees, against the ex
Mission Land and Water company.
Six men have been arrested at Ban
ning, Cal., for unlawfully seizing and im
prisoning A. Knight, a rancher, whom
tlio men had accused of stealing cattle.
A boy by the name of O'Donnell, alias
A. M. Allen, of Texas, was sent to jail at
Red BlutF, Wednesday, for ono month
for forging a pass ou tlio O. It. it. N. mil
road. A sensation has been created at Los
Angeles by tho statement that W. N.
Monroe, mayor of Monrovia, has lied to
Mexico to escape prosecution for sharp
practices.
Tho United Stales grand jury at Port
Tow nsend has indicted Herbert Beechor,
William Harned and Qulncy A. Brooks
for malfeasance whilo iu charge of tho
custom houso at that place.
Mayor Moran, of Seattle, W. T.. has
suspended Chief of Pollco Mitchell for
malfeasance in olllco and nominated Cap
tain Williard to act in his stead. The
charge against .Mitchell is collusion witii
gamblers.
E. B. Gifl'ord, of San Dingo, has match
ed Otto Rex against McCarthy's Lena
Wilkes for $1000. Tho trot is to como oil"
at Ixis Angeles somo tinio in next Decem
ber. San Diagans regard Otto Rex as a
world-beater.
Pat Bagin, a ranchor with a family,
living livo miles from Susanvillo, Cal.,
was found near his house Thursday
night in a pond of water dead, with a
rojH) around his nock, tho ropo bolng at
tached to a stone.
Tho people of Fan Luis Obisjto proiwse
to givo thu Southern Pacific railroad,
from Santa Murgharita to San Luis, the
right-of-way from tho mouth of tho tun
nel to tho city, and also tho railroad
grounds for doK)ts, etc,
A decision iu the railroad commission
CI1HO in wrcgou, W lioro iipoiniiiieni m-ru
made IkjIIi by tho government and the
legislature, has Inien decided against
Governor Ponnoycr. Tho case will be
taken to tho supremo court. ,
OVER THE STATES.
NATURAL GAS DISCOVERED IN
KENTUCKY.
Tho Wife of Theodore ThomaB Dead
An Attempt to Assassinate the
CzBr of Russia General
Boulangor a Refugee.
Murders nrc on the increase in Paris.
Labor strikes in Germany continue.
A regency lias been established in Hol
land. Denver bus organized a law and order
league.
General Houlangcr is a refugee from
Trance.
Natural gas has been discovered in
Kentucky.
Onions aro ono cent a bushel in Can
astoga, N. V.
Tho Eiffel tower in Paris will be 1000
feet in height.
Gladstone presided at the Parncll ban
quet on the 11th.
A heavy snow-storm raged throughout
Old Virginia last week.
The wife of Theodore Thomas died at
New York Wednesday.
The town of Smithficld, N. C, was de
stroyed by fire last week.
A panic prevailed at Pcrcyville, la.,
last week, over mad dogs.
Henry George has made a number of
speeches in England recently.
Tour " marbled polecats " aro the lat
est arrivals at the London zoo.
An attempt was made to assassinate
the Czar of Hussia last week.
Governor Wolf ley was hanged in efligy
at Flagstafl", Ariz., Thursday.
The Lincoln monument at Springfield.
111., is rapidly falling to pieces.
Tho Michigan legislature has made it a
criminal oflense to sell a cigarette.
The Smithsonian institute has re
ceived three elk from Bullalo Bill.
The German man-of-war Olga, recently
beached at Samoa, has been floated.
Tho recent losses by fire in Savanah,
Georgia, is estimated to bo $1,000,000.
The report of the English admiralty is
tbat tho navy of that country is inellicent.
Tho effort to declare tho present Chi
cago city government invalid, fell through.
The world's conference of Latter Day
saints was held,at St. Joseph, Mo., last
week.
Canada is in favor of a partial but not
an entire reciprocity with the United
States.
Lewis Conklin, of Port Jervis, L. I.,
was brained by his wife with an ax,
Tuesday.
The Oklahoma boomers encamped
around Caldwell, Kan., Wednesday, num
bered 2000.
A negro at Clinton, Wis., broke his
neck whilo trying to pull his own tooth
Wednesday.
Thieves steal horses and buggies at
Chicago and ship them to Denver where
they aro sold.
Snow as black and dirty as if it had
been trampled underfoot, fell at Aitken,
Minn., last week.
Mosolla Whilo, a music teacher, was
arrested at Sustiuohana, Pa., Wednesday,
for stealing $16,000.
Sandy Carty, a negro desperado, killed
Police Captain John It. Miller at Besse
mer, Ala., Sunday.
The U. S. steamer Pensacola, which
went down in a storm last week at Nor
folk, has been raised.
The Sultan of Turkey has discovered a
plot to depose him and to place his
brother's heir on tho throno.
The All-urottiuMho-world baseballists
were entertained in sumptuous stylo on
their arrival in Now York last week.
Major Amies has mado an abject apol
ogy to General Beaver for pulling tho
hitter's nose at Washington recently.
Leo Sing, a wealthy merchant of Den
ver, was arrested in Chicago Tuesday for
eloping with another Chinaman's wife.
Russell Harrison was arrested in New
York Friday, on a charge of criminal li
bel against ex-Governor Crosby of Mon
tana. There aro said to be only three of the
war governors now living Blair of Mich
igan, Curtin of Pennsylvania, and Kirk
wood of Iowa.
The Finporor of Brazil iB about to is
sue an edict prohibiting Brazilian girls
from marrying until they arrive at the
ago of ton years.
Ellison Hatfield; one of the Hattield
McCoy gang of Kentucky desperadoes,
now in jail, confesses to three cold
blooded murders.
Kilraiu and Sullivan have agreed to
light for a wager of $10,000. It is earnest
ly hoped by a long suflbring public that
it will bo a la Kilkenny in every sense
of tho word.
Tho prohibition stale of Iowa has had
flvo murder trials so far this year within
its liordors, in each of which intoxica
tion was urged by tho defense as a miti
gating circumstance of tho crime.
Andrew Carnegie, in a speech in tho
Pennsylvania houso of representatives
Tuesday, declared that tho Pennsylva
nia Central railroad was injuring" tho
value of property in largo sections of tho
stato.
It is said that a lack of coal at Pago Pa
go harlor, Samoa, was tho cause of tho
recent disaster to shipping. The absence
of coal prevented tho German and
American war-ships maintaining steam,
henco thoy were at tho mercy of tho
storm.
Manuel Perales do Salinas and Dio
uisio Blanco, tho latter n nephew of ox
President Blanco, wero arrested in Now
Orleans, last week, on a telegram from
tho Mexican legation at Washington on
the charge of forgery nml robbery, com
mitted in Mexico,
Editor Stead, of tho "Pnll Mall Ga
lotto." lxmdou, whilo inspecting tho
ElH'ol tower at Paris, last week, stumbled
over some loose Iioards and only saved
himself by clinging to some projecting
iron from an 800-foot fall. lie was re
leased from his perilous position by
workmen,
HOME AND FARM.
INVESTIGATION INTO THE ORIGIN
OF HOG CHOLERA.
The Superiority of Carrots and Mangle
Wurtzols as a Food for Milk
Cows Yield of an Acre of
Land In StrawDerrios.
There are in this country, according to
the government statistical bureau report,
44,012, S37 head of hogs, breeding ani
mals and young pigs.
Select seed corn carefully from the
best stalks, choosing the choicest ears,
and then hang them in a perfectly dry
place where they cannot freeze.
A grindstone conveniently placed ready
for use, leaves no excuse" for working
with a dull axe or other cutting instru
ment that never docs good w ork.
Leather, as it slowly decomposes,
gives oil" fertilizing matter. Somo people
like to bury old boots and shoes near
grape vines or trees whore their valuable
qualities are realized.
To make hens lay. make a mush of
coarse corn-meal, boiling in a large red
pepper in each two quarts of the water.
Cook for an hour and feed hot. Boiled
apple skins seasoned with red pepper is
also good.
During the summer a great deal of rub
bish collects in the garden, and perhaps
in tho o'chard. All this ought to be
raked up and burned, or otherwise dis
posed of. If left on the ground, it fur
nishes food for insects.
Mashed Potatoes: Boil a quantity of
potatoes and pass them through a sieve.
Put them into a saucepan witii a good
lump of butter, and salt to taste; add a
little milk, and work them well with a
spoon on a slow fire for a few minutes,
adding small quantities of milk as it is
required, until they get of the desired
consistency.
Potato Puddini:: Boil four large po
tatoes and pass them through a 'sieve;
stir into them powdered loaf sugar to
taste, and the yelks of two or three eggs;
add a few drops of essence of lemon,
then the whites of the eggs whisked to a
froth ; mix quickly and well ; pour into a
plain mould, buttered and bread-crutned,
and bake for twenty minutes in a quick
oven.
An acre of land will produce five or six
times as many strawberries, in bushels,
as it will of wheat, and the prices usually
obtained for strawberries are more than
thrco times as much as for wheat. One
aero of strawberries will bring as much
profit as fifteen acres of wheat, while the
cost ef raising tho strawberries is propor
tionately but little more than that of pro
ducing wheat.
An extensive apple-grower in Illinois
is said to plant only half as far apart as
tho trees should stand permanently, and
then he" brings three-fourths of them into
bearing as soon as possiblo by girdling,
letting them produce all they" will until
the permanent ones need the" room. The
girdled trees are then cut out and the
others have all tho needed space for
growth and productiveness.
Have you a good stock of carrots and
mangle "wurtzols in your cellars for your
milk cows? If you have you aro a lucky
man. If you have not, it'is too late now
to provide them, but make your calcula
tions to sow the seeds of them liberally
the present season. Yru will never com
plain that you have too many of such
roots for your stock. Cows, oxen, horses,
and sheep actually need green food in
winter as much as in summer.
Thero is no doubt whatever about the
benefits to be derived from a well-conducted
creamery, observes a Dakota far
mer, not onlv to the farmers, but to ev
ery one within the limits of operations.
It gives tho fanner a cash market for his
cream, and enables him to pay cash for
supplies. It gives him an inducement to
better his stocK, and to employ better
and more profitable methods of caring for
them, in addition to many other benefits.
Cold Slaw : Put three tablespoonfuls
of vinegar in a saucepan with a little salt
and popper; beat two eggs very light and
mix with a teaspoonful of sifted flour, ji
teaspoonful of butter, a teaspoonful of
sugar and a half teaspoonful of ground
mustard. Set the vinegar on the stove,
and when it boils stir in the mixture,
adding half a cup of milk. Cook for two
minutes stirring constantly. Pour the
sauce over the shred cabbage and let it
becomo cold before serving.
Oysters a la Boulette: Put one quart
of oysters in their own liquor. Let come
to a boil, turn in a hot dish, strain. Put
two ounces of buffer in a saucepan, let
heat, sprinkle in a tablespoonful of
sifted flour, let cook one minute, stir and
add a cupful of the oyster liquor. Take
from the flro and mix in the yelks of two
eggs, a little salt, a very little pepper, one
teaspoonful of lemon juice and one grated
nutmeg. Beat well, return to tho fire,
heat well, but not boil. Drop in the oys
ters. Dish and boil.
Salad dressing for Oysters : Take tho
yelKs of three raw eggs, a small table
spoonful of mustard, a teaspoonful of
salt, two tablespoonfuls of white sugar,
an atom of cayenne peper, a cup of oil
or butter melte'd, a small half-cup of vin
egar, the juico of a lemon. Beat the eggs
vorv light with tho sugar, add tho mus
tard salt and pepper. Mix in tho butter
and vinegar in small quantities alternate
ly, and, just before jouring over the salad
add two cups of whipped cream. To
wliip cream, let it stay on the ice a few
hours, thou whip with an eggbeater.
Potato Balls: Take half dozen pota
toes, boil them, pass them through a
sieve, and work into them in a lowl ono
gill ol cream and tho yelks of thrco eggs;
add pepper, salt anil nutmeg to taste,
and some jmrsloy finely chopped. When
they aro well mixed and smooth, take
thein up by tablestxxmfuls, roll each in
a ball, flatten it and flour it slightly.
Iay them in a saueo-pan with plenty of
butter melted, and cook them slowly.
Turn them over when one side is clone,
and servo hot as soon as both sides are
colored.
Tho agricultural department after1 ''are
ful investigation into tho origin of hog
cholera, is said to havo proven conclu
sively that it results from tho us of car
rion food dropped by buzzards, whilo tho
habits of the liog arc such that ono in a
herd being attacked will soon spread the
disease, Typhus fover in man lias leen
traced to tho use of infected meat, of ani
mals slaughtered to avoid tho disease.
Thorough cooking of ork in affected dis
tricts will alono prevent man's liability
to typhus fover from that causo. Imme
diate isolation of directed animals is ree-omended.
PORTLAND MARKET.
CROPS GIVE PROMISE OF A GOOD
HARVEST.
In Sugars we Note a Slight Advance
Cured Meats aro About Steady
Oranges and Apples Find
Sale at Good Prices.
The lack of rainfall has not brought
forth any serious complaint from the
farming community, and so far the crops
give every promise of a good harvest.
Sugars have advanced since our last re
jwrt. Cured meats are unchanged. Ap
ples and oranges of the best variety find
ready sale. Butter is rather weak, but
choice dairy is suitable at fair prices.
A drop of a few cents in wheat has occur
red since our last reort. The market
is quiet in feedstuff's, bran commanding
a fair price. The local freight market is
without any new business lo reort for
tho week, and rates aro therefore nomi
nal. anocKitiES.
Sugars, Golden C 0r extra C
dry granulated Se, cube, crushed and
powdered 8?jC. Coffee: Costa Rica and
Rio 21 K&SJlKv, Java 25 27c. Mocha 28
ale, Arbuckle's roasted 25?jC
I'JtOVIKIONB.
Oregon ham VlK(tV.W, breakfast ba
con 120'e, sides lOalOSjC, shoulders 9
O'.jc. Eastern ham ll&..($13,lc;, break
fast bacon 12e. sides IOC'S 10 '..e. Lard
has declined lc, 10s 8!ac, 6s 8?.4c.
FKC1TS.
Navel oranges .$1.76, Riversides $3.23.
California lemons $3.504 per box, ap
ples $1.2o1.76
VEOETAItI.ES.
Potatoes 30(t'36c, onions 00$1, rheu
barb 10c, tomatoes .$2.50 per box.
diced Knurrs.
Apples o6c, sliced Cj-2c, apricots 13
14c, peaches i)12c, pears !lo. Oregon
prunes, Italian, 8c, silver 7c, German 5
(W7e, plums 5(T07e. Kaisins $2 per box,
California figs 8c.
DAIKY l'ltODUCE.
Butter, Oregon fancy 25c, medium 20c,
Eastern 22c, California 1820c.
EQGS.
Eggs 13c.
l'OUl.TUY.
Chickens $4li.60, ducks $10311 per
doz., geese $10012, turkeys l718c
peril).
WOOL.
Valley 17al8e, Eastern Oregon 815".
icors.
Hops 1017c.
OKA IN'.
Wheat, Valley $127Kal.30, Eastern
$1.26. Oats30,31c.
Kl.OUIt.
Standard $4.25, other brands $3.00.
FEED.
Hay $1316 per ton. bran $15al5,
shorts $lljaI7. barley $22.5025, mill
chop $18ti20.
FRESH MEATS.
Beef, live. 3,o, dressed 7c, mutton,
live, 3 'c, dressed 7c, lambs $2.60 each,
hogs livo (5c, dressed 77Jc, veal G8c.
Tbcro's a certain well known reporter wbose
writing is so bad that oven his best friends do
not attempt to read it. Ono afternoon he
dropped several sheets of his notes ou tho
floor of tho surrogate's ofllco and they wero
ufterwnrds picked tip by ono of tho attaches
of tho office, a violinist. lie took them home
niid played from them, but was surprised
when Sidney told him they wero news uotes
and not violin notes. He could not bo con
vinced, howover, that they wero not intended
for music Bulla lo News.
A Iteiihonulilo Time,
"You must givo me time, George, to think
it over. It is nil o strange, so unexpected."
"I will give you a year's time if ypu wish
it. .My love for you is great enough to bear
that strain."
''Oh, I don't want a year givo mo flvo
minutes." Life.
Tlio Wntrhwiml Was Distorted.
Tho colored brother has a wonderful ca
laeity for adapting a word to his souses.
' During tho war," said a well known vet
eran, "no often had trouble in getting up a
list of countersigns. I had tho matter in
charge, and took n list of European battles.
It was a colored regiment. Tho countersign
for tho night was 'Austerlitz,' In tho even
ing I tried to got into tho lines and was
halted. I gave tho countersign, 'Auster
litz.' '"Dat ain't right, sah, said tho darky,
ami ho called tho provost, who was also
colored. When that officer canio, I com
plained that tho sentry didn't kuow tho
countersign.
"'What is it, sahr asked tho provost of
me.
" 'Austerlitz,' I answered.
" 'You aro wrong, sah,' said he. I was put
under arrest, and it took tho colonel to get
mo out. What 'do you supposo tho darlties
had mado out of tho original couutersignf
Oyster shells.' "Washington Post.
She Wan "Strictly lluilnrss."
Philadelphia Aunt (sovorely) As I glanced
luto tlio parlor last oveulng I saw you with a
young man's arm around you.
Chicago Nieco (calmly) Yes, auntlo, I was
waiting for you to jwiss tho door and see- us.
Young men uro very slippery nowadays, and
ono can't havo too many witnesses. Phila
delphia Record.
Tho President has announced his in
tention of vigorously enforcing tho law
against land-grabbcra and iorsons tres
passing ujHjn tho public domain.
Mrs. Harrison is said to havo mado ar
rangements with the manager of a Now
York news bureau, by which sho is to
pay $100 a month to know what all tho
nowspaiwrs of tho country say about the
Harrison family.
Secretary Windom has sustained the
action of tho collector of customs at New
York in refusing to allow a Swiss imi
grant to land because of having como to
this country in violation of tho law gov
erning tho importation of foreign pauper
bettor.
CONCERNING CRANKS.
A i:nrt-l.mil "t Truth rrfiriitrd Tor the
i:. intention of IMiiIm anil Oilier.
Tho crank is tho medium through
which motion is imparted to till ma
chinery, and tho cranic in society is tho
medium through which till original
ideas tiro forced through tho thick
skulls of mankind in general. Tho
crank rises above tho teeming millions
beeuuso he is difTeront from them, and
that difference, which consists in tho
possession of a small but carefully-selected
stock of brains, makes him con
spicuous. Tho crank does not attract
attention by acting as hostler and stn-ble-mtin
to a pair of Siberian blood
hounds or ti St. Bernard dog which was
bred iu Hester street and whose an
cestors smelt salt-water only when fish
brine was put on them to kill Ileus.
The crank does not wear a button-holo
bouquet because eve -y ass on his street
does. Tho crank goes four blocks out
of his way to return u borrowed um
brella. Ho does not try to talk Eng
lish and dress Cockney when his fea
tures reveal tho fact that for fourteen
generations his nose litis been used in
New England to split pumpkins on,
and his cheek bones shine like red mo
v ceo pads on a coach harness. He does
not chango his suits as many times in
a day as tho trump does in n euchro
deck." just to bo in fashion. Tho cranic
does not borrow livo dollars of every
man who smokes n cigar with him. and
ho will pay a debt more readily than a
compliment. The crank is prompt,
sharp and savory, and so is stilt, but
both aro pretty necessary in the world
and in well-regulated food.
Young men. you may have heard ol
Columbus not in Ohio, but Genoa,
Italy. He was a crank, llo told the
whole world, "Go west, young man, go
west," and it went west, and tho Gould
system of railroads and tho now aque
duct, not to spoalc of tho Rochester
knoekings and the moro persistent and
olTectual knoekings of John L. Sullivan,
litis grown out of that advice.
When Columbus refused to buy his
wife n pug dog, and continued to wear
tight pants after tho fashion changed,
tlio popiilaeo of Genoa called him a
crank; but ho got thoro all the same,
and had a cannon named after him, tho
Columbiad, which sounded and kicked,
both liko thunder.
Galileo was a crank. Ho assorted in
one of his advertisements of a clock ho
had patented: "Tho world moves, great
reduction in clocks," and thoy snatched
him up and told him to recant. "Re
cant," said ho, "1 nlly can't." and
went on and perfected his inventions,
which resulted in the Waterbury
watch.
Washington was a crank. In 1775
you e mid find a million people in Eng
land who said ho was a crank. Thoy
told him in '7(1 that it was till right for
tho colonies to submit, and remarked
of the stamp act, "It's English, don't
chew know;" and Wash carefully plac
ed his tliiun on his no-'e and worked his
fingers liko a fan as ho remarked:
"That's what's tho matter." And tho
English wished to got his remains to
hold a post mortem on, but Washing
ton put himself in tho hands of his
friends and they elected him father of
his country, which position ho will
probably hold a good while.
Oh, what a crank Lincoln was! How
his clothes wouldn't fit him, and ho had
bunions on his big feot. and his trous
ers bagged at tho knee, and m, my,
what ti groat homely mouth ho had; and
stories well, boys, if I catch any of you
telling Lincoln's stories 1 will pull you
bald-headed. Well. 1 say no more.
There never was a great man yet who
did not begin business as a crank. 1
would rather bo a speckled bean in a
two-bushel bag of nice white ones than
to loo my identity as ono of the two
millions.
I want to find the young man you
called a crank. He can tako my fine
boots and gold watch when ho goos to
a parly, and can go fishing with mo in
.luno. I want to bo on tho right side
of that youth. Ho will boablo to givo mo
a post-ollico if ho lives 'twenty years.
All of you who havo brains enough
may go now and digest this cart-load oi
truth. Judge.
Satisfaction Wanted.
Magistrato (to Mrs. Con Kelly) You
claim, Mrs. Kelly, that Mrs. O'Tooli
hau gave you that bruised and black
ened face.
Mrs. Con Kelly She did, yor-'honor,
or I'm not Irish born.
Magistrato And what you want ia
damages?
Mrs. Kelly Naw, sir; I want satis
faction. 1 havo damages enough.
llarpor's Magazine.
m
Cverestimated His Strength.
"I think I must havo overestimated
my personal magnetism and popu
larity," sad a badly defeated ofllco
seokor. "Whatovor induced you to think that
you possessed thoso qualifications?" in
quired his unsytnpathotlo wife.
"Because," ho replied, sadly, "my
ntuno is Robort, but every body calls
mo Bob." N. Y. Sun.
Twenty-seven years ago, says tno
Boston Journal, an acorn lodged some
how in tho mortar or between the
stonos of an Ohio court-houso splro,
took root, and sent out an oak shoot.
To-day a miniature oak grows on thu
splro eighty feot from tho ground. It
draws lifo from tho comont, tho "skin
of tho rock," and tho air, but princi
pally from tho air, as thoro is vory lit
tle cement in tho splro.
m m
A lady of Springfield, III., having
publicly lectured on mnrrlago as a fail
ure, u newspaper man wont to work
and proved tbat sho had boon engaged
and jilted three dl'lTcreut times.