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About The Oregon scout. (Union, Union County, Or.) 188?-1918 | View Entire Issue (April 2, 1887)
30NES & CHANCEY, Publishers,
THIS IS ALL.
Jt .1 s.vinter In tho twilight,
Just u wlilsp'-r in tho hall,
Just n siili on s.ca or river.
Just a danco ot rout or ball,
Just (i glancq that henrts entlirnl
TuU 1 nll-ahd this Is all.
Jut a fo.w harsh rorris of doubting,
Just a silence proud and cold.
Just a spiteful tircnth of slandor,
Just n wrotiK that Is not told,
Just a word baynml r;call
This Is ull-und Mils Is all.
Just n life robbed of Its brightness.
Just a heart by sorrow filled, (
Just n fnlth that trusts no longer,
Just a love by doubting chilled,
Just a tow hot tears that full
This Is all-uh 1 this Is nil.
ItotU Churchill, in Chainltrt' Journal.
A LION TA3LEK.
Ho Tolls How to
As a ICuln Drink Kill tho KIiiks or the
, l'rorrnslon GrorRo WoinlmvH'n "Suc
Cfssful" Dng and I. ion
'I sec by tho papers tli.it tlio Horn
have had Uordel, tho lion king, in
Franco at lust, sir," said nu old man
with gray linir and unmistakable gran
ger appearance, to tho Herald man in
tho rotunda of tho Palmer Houso the
other day, "Well, I thought it would
como to that at last. They'll do il
sooner or later. Tho bottle does it, sir.
A man may ho as hold and as sober ni
ho pleases till ho gets once torn anil
then his nervo begins to fail. Any
man's would if ho had half tho llosh
torn oil' his sides and then ho want?
n dram or two to steady him. One
drink leads to another, nnd so on, un
til ho gets reckless, allows tho worst oi
tho lot on which, if he were sober, he
would know ho ought to keep his eye,
got dodging round behind him, or hits
a beast in which ho ought to know a
blow will rouso a sleeping devil, or
makes a stagger and goes down, and
then tho lot aro onto him."
"You speak as if you knew Fomo
thingof tho business," said tho Jlcnild
man. "Were you ever a lion king?"
"No, sir; I can't say as I ever was a
lion king, I never had tho pluck for
that, but. I've been in the business all
tho samo and used to work under this
eamo Lion King Bordel as has been
Ravaged. My name's Wolfe, Henry!
Wolfe, ami I've a nitol a lann now out
Tooria ways. I've quit tho lion busi
ness many a year, but i knew it well."
"Will you tell tho Herald something
" I am an Knglishman by birth, and
was a tanner by trade, but times was
hard and I fell out of a job. A travel
ing nionagcrio eamo along and they
wanted a man to help the lion king,
handing him in his properties when
performing, and such like, and
bo I took tho job. Well, by and
s "by thoy got mo to go into tho
cago, but great Scott! didn't I
if link, and there never was a day that 1
hart to go in among tho devils that I
didn't try a rough bit of a prayer to
rtrivo away tho nervousness. Then 1
found that brandy took tho shino out
of tho prayer, and 1 used always to
" havo a tidy drop insido of mo before
I wont in. 1 knew tho risk of tho
"brand. Didn't I get this tear down
my hand one evening when I had taken
eo much that I didn't see that old lion
ess creeping around to my hack? Still
I went on drinking, and then at last I
got the delirium tremens, and then, in
stead of seoin' snakes 1 saw lions and
tlgors. Sometimes it was tho Hoyal
Uongal as was a-eatehin' of mo, and
sometimes it was tin big Nubian, hut
they wore always there, and when I
eamo out of that boat I nover went into.
tao cage again.
"Three kinds of lions como to this
country and Kuropo, and tho biggest
European importer is Jamraeh. Tho
lions como from tho Gnpo and some
Nubia, and another sort como from
Senegal. You p;ot them from Jamraeh
well nigh as wild as tho day they wero
caught, for I believe ho nover allows
any of his men to go into tho cages,
nnd if ho wants to shift them ho places
ono cago alongside another and drives
thorn In by placing straw in the den he
wants them to quit. Tho tiger is not
so sullen in confinement, but is more
treacherous, and when ho onco loses
command of himself there is not a pin
to chooso between him and the lion. 1
think I would soonor, on tho whole,
havo truck with the lion than tho tiger.
Some people will toll you that there is
no vico about either, Bysh! It's nil
very well to say that when ho puts his
claws into you in a playful way that
you ought to havo presence of mind
nnd keep still and ho will take them
out Hut when you feel tho claws go
ing Into you an inch or more, you can
not help dragging tho limb away.
Then tho beast drags his way, and
you got torn and tho blood comes, and
tho animal, partly at the sight of blood
mid partly in a fit of desperation, as he
Icnows ho has done wrong, takes hold
anyhow, and tho others in tho cago
catch tho, infection and then you can
say your prayers. Tho most dangerous
tJnio to interfere is when thoy aro feed
ing, especially if they aro gnawing a
Iwno. It is pretty near certain death
for a man to go near nu old lion or
lioness when either is gnawing a bono
-and try to take it away from them. The
lion-tamer likes to get his beasts as
young as ho can, because then they aro
moro ens-ily brought into order, al
though no doubt there are many in
stances when u full-grown forest Hon
has been trained to a high perfection.
Whatever is the renson, it is a fact that
forest lions arc moro intelligent and
teachable than those bred in confine
ment. The lion-tamer begins by taking
the feeding of them into Ids own hands,
and so gets them to know him. H
commences feeding them from out
side tho den, then ventures inside. to
one at a time, always caref ully keeping
hi? face to tho animal and avoiding any
violence, which is a mistake whenever
it can be avoided, as it arouses the dor
mant devil in tho beasts. Getting to
handle the lion tho tamer begins by
stroking him down tho back, gradually
working up to tho head, which he be
gins to scratch, and tho lion, which,
like the cat, likes friction, begins to
rub his head against tho hand. When
this familiarity in well established a
board is handed to the trainer, which ho
places across the cage, and tenches the
lion to jump over it. Gradually this
board is heightened, tho lion jumping
over it at every stage, and then come
tho hoops, etc., held on top of the
board to quicken tho beast's uudor
.itnnding. To teach the uniinnl to jump
over tho trainer the latter Moops along
side tho board, so that when tho lion
clear one he clears the other, and half
a dozen lessons aro generally sulllcient
to teach him this. To get a lion to
lio down nnd allow tho trainer to stand
on him is more dillieult. It i done by
ilicking tho beast over the back with a
small whip and attho same time pressing
him down with one hand. By raising
the head and taking hold of tho nostrils
witli the right hand, and the under lip
and lower jaw with the left, the Hon
loses greatly tho power of his jaws, so
that a man can pull them open and put
his head insido the beast's mouth, tho
feat with which Van Amburg's name
was so much associated. Tho only
danger is less tho animal should raise
one of his fore paws and stick hisclaws
into you, and if he does, tho tamer
must stand fast for his life until ho has
shifted his paw. Old lions are easier
handled than young ones, ns thoy aro
sure to bo better trained. Hy the way,
did you ever hear the story of Wal
lace's fight with tho dogs? No. Well,
Wallace was an old lion belonging to
Georgo Wombwcll, the Engl'sh men
agerie man, and tho old beast was as
tame as- a sheep. Well, George's
finances wero at low water and ho
thought to advertise a light between
Wallace and a dozen English mastiffs
would prove a drawing card. And you
just bet it did. It took Hko wild lire,
and seats were sold for the performance
as high as twenty-live dollars apiece.
Tho house was packed and hundreds
couldn't get in. It was a queer go anil
no mistake. When they were p.. in the
cage the Hon didn't earo for tho dogs
and tho dogs didn't caro for tho lion.
Sometimes tho old lion would scratch a
lump out of a dog, and sometimes the
dogs would make as if they were going
to worry tho old lion, but neither
showed any serious light, nnd nt length
tho patience of tho audience got ex
hausted, and they went away in dis
gust. George's excuse was: "Wo
can't make 'ein light if they won't, can
wo?" Ho cleared over ten thousand
dollars by that 'light.'
"Who were tho leading lion-tamers
in those days? Well, there was old
Manchester Jack,' ho was the first that
1 can remember. Ho was with Womb
well, and was good as any. Then there
was Van Amhurg, famous for tho head
and mouth business. Crockett wns ono
of then a st dating I ever remember.
A den of Hons got loose once and
Crockett jumped in among them six of
'em and drove them back to tho den
with only a riding whip. Daniel
couldn't have made a better showing
than that, Crockett came to America
with Howe & Cushing's circus, and died
right here in Chicago. Then there wero
tho two Maccomos ono a duller and
the other tho genuine artic' Tho
'duffer's' real namo was, linunv Strand,
ami ho used to keep a gingerbread
stall; tho good man was a nigger, it
is moro dangerous for a black man than
a white, if it bo true, as they say, that
tho beasts can nose a black man and aro
mail after the flavor of tho llesh. These
aro most of tho leading lion kings I re
member, but there have been others of
less note. As 1 have said, as a rule,
drink ruins them all, and you can
hardly wonder at it.
Then, besides the lion king, you
must remember that there havo been
some famous lion queens, who have
been quite as daring, if not more so,
than the lion kings. Women often do
more foolhardy deeds of daring than
men, for this reason, 1 think, that thoy
don't sullieiently comprehend the
danger." Chicago Herald.
John Cliue, once a oolebratt . rope,
dancer, died at tho Forrest Homo re
cently. He came to this country from
England in ISL'S. He danced at tho
llowery Theater in New York for four
years under contract with Charles Gil
bert for $10,000 a year. Once in Philn
dolphia he proved too great an attrac
tion for such stars as Wallack and For
rest, ami they played to empty benches
while Cliuo danced at tho Chestnut
Street Theater. Ho was very popular
with theatrical people, and they suc
ceeded In placing him in tho Forrest
Homo in 1SS0. Clino earned a great
deal of money in his prime, but lost
$00,000 by the failure of tho United
States Hank. Philadelphia iVtw
Two young crooks in New York
succeeded in getting possession of a
cheek for $1'J,700 by surreptitious
means, but the largonctsof the amount
frightened them and thev tore it up.
X. 1'. Mail.
There aro ton thousand notrosos
in tho United States who annually re
ceive ono hundred and twenty-live bou
quets each, according to statistics, in tho
Now Yoi:kei(. t
' COWBOY HOSPITALITY.
The Tree nnd i:jr Wny In Which Thej
Welcome Traveler anil Strangers.
One hot afternoon, as wo were ap
proaching Big Dry Creek, a cowboj
suddenly rode in sight on tho crest of t
ridge, and camcdown tho slope towarc
us at a swinging gallop. Ho sat ai
erect as a bronzo statue, and had he
been lashed to his horse like anothci
Mazeppa ho could not havo sat mon
perfectly motionless in his saddle. In.
stinctively we straightened up our tiroi
shoulders, and sat erect also. Evident
ly ho wanted to speak to us. So i
rodo frward to meet him, wondering the
while whether his manner would hi
After we had civilly exchanged how
rto-3'ou-dos, ho inquired if wo had seer,
any horses since morning. Ho had lost
sonic, and up to that time, two o'clock,
had ridden about twcnty-livo miles in
search of them, No, wo had not seen
any horses. So wo fell to asking ques
tions about trails, creeks and water
holes. Wo wero getting a deal of infor
mation, when ho suddenly exclaimed:
"Looky here, fellers! Tho best thing
you can do is to pull on to our ranch
and put up for awhile. It's only twelve
miles from here. Take tho trail that
turns off to tho left, about three miles
ahead. You won't find anybody nt
home the boys are all off on tho round
up, you know but just go right in and
make yourselves at homo."
"Isn't tho door locked?"
"Thunder, no! Wo never lock doors
in this country. Somebody might come
along hungry, and want to got in to get
some grub, or stay all night. If a cow
boy wanted to get in, and found the
door locked, ho'd just simply break it
"Aren't you afraid of thieves?"
"O, no; nothing is ever stolen. A
man's upon his honor, you know; and,
besides, if a feller'd ever really steal
.my thing out of a shack, tho country'd
soon be too hot to hold him. Anybody
that comes to a shack hungry is ex
pected to go in nnd get a square meal,
and stay all night if he wants to."
"Isn't that privilege often abused?"
"No, hardly ever. Say, you'll find a
cow up attho ranch and you can milk
her if you want to. There are plenty of
eggs about the stable; if you want 'em
go for 'em. Just make yourselves at
home, and stay as long as you like. I'll
bo glad to have yer company."
A few moro remarks were exchanged,
and then our cowbow gathered up his
reins and said:
"Well, I've got to finish my circuit,
twenty miles more, I reckon; so I must
be moving. So long. I'll soo you at
tho ranch alout sundown."
And Hinging tho last remark over his
shoulder at us his pony galloped rapidly
away, a moment later he rodo over the
ridgo and disappeared. Ilr. T. Horn
aday, m Cosmopolitan.
Tho yueer IIinie-Uoat Moor- il Along tlio
Hunk of tho I'ppcr TliiuiKM,
Villas on tho Thames, especially in
tho pleasant, picturesque stretches be
tween Hampton court and Windsor,
command such fabulous prices during
the summer months that nothing but.
millionaires can indulge in tho luxury.
"Necessity is tho mother of invention,"
and an ingenious mind has initiated a
movement that will make of the upper
Thames a series of lloating villages.
This new fad is a house-boat, built on
almost a lla't bottom, thus allowing it to
be moored at any sylvan spot close under
the umbrageous trees that line the
banks. The boat has its saloon, dining
and sleeping rooms, and is generally
fitted up by the ladies with exquisite
tasto and comfort. Thero is great luxury
in a quiet life on these handsomely-appointed
craft.", and their numbers in
creased so rapidly last year that tho
tradesmen sent round small steam
boats taking orders and delivering the
provisions. The owners of lino villas
aro naturallv indignant at the constant
inroads on their privacy, and tho ques
tion as to tho right of mooring such
boats in close proximity to tho grounils
of a park is to bo tested in tho law
courts. These craft were moved to
different parts of tho river by means of
tugs, but recently a stern-wheel veloci
pede has been tested as a motive power.
The paddles, two feet in diameter, are
connected with a gut-baud to the driving-wheel,
which is twenty-six inches
in diameter and over seventy pounds in
weight. Ordinary bicycle handles,
which are connected with tho rudder,
saddle cranks, and treadles are used.
The boat is thirty feet long and seven
feet beam, and was profiled two miles
and a half, between Mnrlow and Bourne
End, in forty minutes, which is good
time. It caused a great deal of aston
ishment to t)ie oarnien and inhabitants
of other house-boats to see such a big
thing propelled so easily by ono man.
In tho school-books of a genoratlon
Mill young a vast tract of territory west
of the Missouri river was known as the
"Great American desert," and tho man
ner in which that supposed sterile area
has been transformed into profitable
grazing regions and has oven been cov
ered with fertile farms and gardens is
ono of tho most remarkable achieve
ments of American enterprise during
tho past decade. Eastern people who
behold with wonder the present rapid
growth of that section aro oven led to
believe that tho settlers bring an in
creased faiufall with them and thus
overcome the arid character of the
plains, or nt least that the cultivation
of the soil and tho planting of trees en
I.uiice the supply of atmospheric moist
ure. .V. V. Herald.
-If you havo no dark plaoo for tho
fruit -n:w wrap oneh ono separately lu
h"a p.ipi r. Ciixx IlwstimpiHg. '
How It Is Manufactured In tho 1'rlnclpal
Works of Kuropo.
Plate glass is only mado in tho very
largest factories. Tho plate glass
works at Uavonhead, England, aro in
a building 839x155 foot; tho molting
furnace is placed in tho center of the
building, with openings on two parallel
sides for working purposes, whilo along
two sides of the building aro arranged
tho annealing ovens, which aro often
mado very largo to receive tho im
menso plates that aro made The
materials of which the host plato glass
is mado aro pure silica or quartz sand,
pure carbonate of soda, slaked Hint
and plato glass cullot, that is, bits of
broken plate glass. These materials,
in proper proportions, arc put in the
'melting-pot, where they aro allowed tc
remain from ten to sixteen hours, oi
even longer, until the whole has become
ftied and tho soda is thoroughly vola
tilized. Toward 'the last the temper
ature is allowed to fall and tho glass
then acquires the visclditv suitable foi
casting. In some factories it is then
transferred to another vessel, where it
is allowed to stand at the samo high torn
peraturo for some time before casting
but in many establishments it is poured
directly from the melting-pot upon the
casting-table. This tabic consists of
massive slab, usually of cast-iron, sup
ported by a frame, and generally placed
at tho mouth of tho annealing oven
On each siilo of tho table arc ribs or
bars of metal, which keep tho glass
within proper limits, and by their
height determine tho thickness of tin
plato. A copper or bronze cylinder
about a foot in diameter lies across the
table unon tho sulo bars. Jlio table is
heated by having hot coals placed upon
it, and is then carefully cleaned. I lie
pots of melted glass aro then lifted
from the furnace, skimmed with a large
copper knife, conveyed on wheel-racks
to tho table, and being swung up by
means of a crane, aro emptied thereon
The cylinder now rolled across the vis
cid mass spreads tho glass out in v
sheet of uniform breadth and thickness.
While the plitc is still rovt hot its end is
turned up like a llange, and with
rake it is thrust into tho annealing
oven, which is heated to a dull red
he'at. Other pi ites are now immedi
ately cast, upon tho hot table until tho
annealing oven is filled, when it is
closed and slowly cooled for live days.
Taken from the oven, tho unites are
ground smooth with sand and water,
and afterward with emery paper, s'hey
nre then polished with powder of red
oxide of iron, under considerable pros
sure This work of grinding and pol
ishing is done by machinery, by means
of which a most brilliant surface is
readily secured. Chicago Inter Ocean.
ITow Thio Indrstructllilo Articles
Mailt) liy ImltistrliiiiH Sijiiuwh.
As we entered tlio village every one
there was busy doing something. Some
old smiaws were sitting outside their
houses crooning snatches of Indian
songs in a low, guttural tone, their
hands mcauwhilo moving with wonder
ful rapidity, passing balls of colored
woolen thread backward and forward
between other threads which were
stretched vertically inside a square
wooden frame Whilo we wero watch
ing them somo of the natives gathered
around, and one of them, an old buck,
nddiv-sed us, saying, in broken English:
"H-i!'.oo sojers; where goin' ?" After
wo had aiiMwred him to his satisfaction
wo tried to find out what tho squaws
wero making, but we could not get tho
desired information until wo had pro
duced some tobacco and signified that
if ho would tell us wo would give him
some When the old fellow saw tlio tobac
co his face beamed with smiles in an in
stant, and he replied: "Ow, ow yes,
yes, tne li!;- him mucho very much.
Tobacco heap bueno;" (good); and
when wo had given him some ho said,
pointing to the squaw: "Him make
blanket; blanket heap bueno; me jo got
him," and he disappeared inside ono
of the houses, returning nhno.-t im
mediately with a blanket across his
arm, which he held up for our inspec
tion, saying: "You Hko him? Twenty
dollars. Me sell."
After bargaining with him for a few
minutes one of our party bought tho
blanket for fifteen dollars, and ho nover
regretted it. Their blankets far excel
those manufactured by their white
brethren. The Zunis take tho wool as
it comes off the sheep, color it, spin it
into threads, and then turn it over to
tho squaws, who make tho blankets,
every thing being done by hand alone.
Tho prices for blankets range from five
dollars to fifty dollars, according to
size, and they are well worth the
money. 1 have seen ono tied by the
corners hold a quantity of water for
days without letting "a drop come
through, and its color did not suffer in
the least. Cor, San FranciscoChronicle.
There is a man at Duluth who has
invested nearly $300,000 in tho last
twenty years in lotteries, rallies, policy
playing and dice-shaking, and has never
won much more than a glass of beer.
Ho says he is bound to keep nt it until
ho hits a fortune, but his four bare
footed children aro a bit doubtful if thoy
can get along without shoes until that
time arrives. In his last rafllo tho man
bought twenty-four out of fifty chances,
and lost at that. St. Paul Pioneer.
A Harvard professor has made tho
calculation that if men wore really as
big as they sometimes fool there would
be room in tho United States for only
two professors, three lawyers, two doc
tors, and a reporter on a Philadelphia
paper. Tho rust of us would bo crowded
into tho son and havo to swim for it.
Ditrvii Fret Press.
The Berlin dog tax yielded tho city
last year 2SG.000 marks ($71,600)
An orango trco over four hundred
years old, in the orangeric at Versailles,
u-n nlnntpil bvElenoradc Castile, tin
wife of Charles 111.
hf return for his gift of Arabia!
horses. Queen Victoria sent to the Sul
tan of Muscat a lino gold watch am
chain, a hall clock and a costly tea
As a. protection against tlio rabbit
plague, the government of Queensland
has purchased three thousand and lift
uiilns nf wire ncttitltr. With which tc
build a fence around tho colony.
Prof. Collett. tho well-known Nor
u-i'i'inn KiinloLMst. announces that the
beaver is now extinct in Northern Nor
wav, but estimates that about one htm
died and sixty aro still in existence in
the South, chiefly in tho provinces ol
The imperial family of Austria do
not, wnsto their tunc in idleness. J. lie
Crown Prince has lately published
book, tho Archduchess Maria Valeric is
writing a play, and the Archduke Karl
Salvator has just got a patent for a new
The failure of tho famous Gunpowder-Plot
of Guv Fawkes, by which tine
Houses of Parliament were to bo de
stroved November 5, 1C0G, is still com
memorated in the Church of St. Mary
Le How, London, by an annual sermon,
for which a sum of money was be
queathed moro than two centuries ago.
Tho Crown Prince of Germany,
like Von Moltke, is a very silent man.
He lives in a quiet, domestic way, and
is said to be bitterly opposed to the
sentiments of Prince Bismarck; and
this is a source of considerable annoy
ance to tho old Emperor. After his
first audience with the. Pope his only
remark avos: "Tho Popo is a l-rcnch-m
Some experiments lately brought
before tho Paris Academy by M.
Luvini coincide with those of other
observers he considers in warrant
ing the conclusion that "gases and va
pors, under any pressure, and at all
temperatures, aro perfect insulators,
and can not be electrified through
friction, either with ono another or
with solid or liquid substances."
The late King Alfonso of Spain is
not yet officially buried, although he
has just been dead a year. According
to rigid Spanish etiquette royal person
ages must becomo "mummified" before
being finally hud to rest, and so their
coffins are placed in a special chamber
in the rock, where water falls constantly
upon tho corpse until it is completely
petrified. So the body of tho late king
is still undergoing the process.
The president of the Vienna police
is preparing one of the most complete
'rogues galleries to bo found any
where. It is a collection of photo
graphs of (he most notorious inter
national criminals, and contains al
ready 8,000 specimens. Half-a-dozen
copies are made' of each original in
order to cnablo tho police to send
duplicates, when needed, to tho police
of other European capitals.
MR. AND MRS. BOWSER.
How the I.iinl of tlm l aiiilly Wiih Snatchcil
from the (Sruve ly II Ih WIII-I'owit.
The other night when Mr. Bowser
came home to supper I was lying down
with n dreadful headache. I have head
aches occasionally. I wouldn't havo
them if I could help it, but I can't.
Once in awhile I havo a chill, but it's
nothing I'm to blame for.
"Sick, oh? growled Mr. Bowser :us
ho entered the. bed-room.
"Got a headache."
"Thai's always tho way of it! I wish
I could remember one single well day
which has passed over your head sinco
wo were married!"
"I'm always well."
"Oh, you are! Well. I must bo blind
not to havo discovered the fact! I want
ed von to go to the theater to-night."
"I I guess I can go."
"Well, 1 guess you can't! Mrs. Bow
ser, it does seem queer that whenever
I havo any special ontertainmen?
mapped out you invariably bust it with
a headache, palpitation of tho heart,
torpid liver or some other ailment. It
niti-t bo the grossest carelessness on
your part. Have you had a doctor to
day?" "Why, no!"
"Weil, we'll have ono! I'm going to
know what ails you, if I have to call
half tho doctors in town! I want to
know whether I've married a woman
or a bundle of drugs."
"You may bo ill somo day, Mr. Bow
ser." "Bosh! I've got the strength of mind
to throw oil' even a caso of small-pox.
The Bowser family never made fools of
thomselves by being upset at every
chango of tho weather."
The doctor came up and prescribed a
dover's powder, and ho thought I
needed a tonic of some sort. Bowser
was grouty all tho evening, and when
wo went to bed ho sniffed and snuffed
"Oh, excuse mo! I thought for a mo
ment that I was in Harper's Hospital!"
Two mornings after that Bowser
woko me up an hour earlier than usual.
His face was very pale, his teeth chat
tered, and I saw at ence that ho had a
chill. Ho had been looking yellow
around tho eyes for threo or four days,
and it was evident that his liver was
out of order.
"What is it?" I asked.
"I boliovu I'm going to havo a
"Oh, pshaw! Just oxoroiso your will
powor and throw it 0(11".
"Mrs. Bowsor, I want you to tele
phone for a doctor .two threo doctors,
without dulay! Pin an awful sick man,
( without one chance in twenty of get-
llllg i til.
"Pooh! Mr. Bowser, I had all ar
rangements made to go over to tho to
bo"gan slide to-day, and to havo a pro
gressive cuehro party hero to-night It
seems funny that you should fall sick
and spoil all my pleasure!"
"All right go ahead and nbuso mo
all you want to! When I am under the
sod you'll think of these things."
The family doctor eamo up after
breakfast and prescribed quinino and
some other simple remedy, and advised
Bowser to lie in bed through tho day.
The following was the programme of
1. I soak Mr. Bowser's feet.
2. I prepare him threo different kinds
3. I send tho baby over to mother's,
because its cooing disturbs liitn.
4. I stop all tho clocks in tho house
at his request.
5. I drive all tho boys out of tlio
neighborhood to sooth Mr. Bowser's
G. I shut the dog in tho barn and drive
the cat to the attic.
7. I make a list of his debtors and
creditors and lock up tho insurance pa
pers. At noon Mr. Bowser resolved to got
out of bed, nnd'thc aniountof dinner ho
ato was positively astonishing. After
dinner he put on his slippers and dressing-gown
"Mrs. Bowser, do you suppose a
cigar would hurt mo?"
"Thero you go! You don't sewn to
understand that I have been danger
ously ill, and that a relapse would
cause my death! Mrs. Bowser, 1 be
lieve you secretly wished during tho
forenoon that I might die!"
"Well, your conduct is very suspic
ious, to say the least. In caso of my
death I believe you'd marry again!"
"You would, eh? That's the kind of
a person you are, is it!"
"But, Mr. Bowser, you've been sick
50 much, you know, and you've turned
the house into a hospital so often !"
"You are. I'd just Hko to remember
the time when you had a well day. Mr.
Bowser, it's an awful thing to chain a
woman to an invalid husband."
Then Bowser began to cry, and I had
to tuck him up in bed and put a hot
llatiron to his feet, and tie a rag around
bis head, and make him some sago tea.
He was all- right next morning, and
when I asked him if it was safe for me
to invito company for Friday night, he
roared out :
"Safe! Why not?"
"You may be ill, you know!"
"And I may not, you know! Mrs.
Howser, I want you to understand that
the Bowser family tho line I am de
scended from never givo up until tho.
"But they recover wondcrfully
"They do, eh? And that's because
f their strong will-power. Mrs. Bow
ser, I'm satisfied that I was snatched
from the grave yesterday, and that by
no help of yours. If I do not return
home for the next three days you havo
:nly yourself to blame!"
But ho was back at noon, and ho'
hasn't had another word to say about
my headaches. Detroit Free Press.
to 5ot a llov of J 1 Mexican
WvmIh Without Paying fluty.
When you go to Paso del Norte, you
will, of course, desire to indulgo that
taste for defrauding tho revenue of
vour country which is inherent in the
American character, and, if you aro
disposed to be moderate in your indul
gence of this taste, you can manage tho
matter without much difficulty, and at
no very great expense, for tho articles
you buy in Paso del Norto and smuggle
icross.tho river, will not cost you much
more than if you bought them of incr
?hants on the American side. A sot
jf Mexican filagree jewelry, for exam
ple, which tho American shop-keopors
in El Paso sell for $5, can bo bought
in Paso del Norto for about 8, and
so tho joy of smuggling the things
icross will cost you only about $3. My
nlviee, however, is to smuggle very
little, as tho stocks of such things in El
Paso shops are much fuller and more
varied than those on the other side. As
to tho pleasure of telling your friends
that you bought a particular thing in
Mexico, that may ho had in any case Re
member what CJiesteriield said to his son
who wished to go down into a coal mino
for tho sake of being able to say that he
lone so. "You can say it just as well
without doing it," was tho paternal ad
monition. But if you must do a little smuggling
buy cigars. Tlio Mexican weeds nio
good and really cheap. Very largo
ones ot line navor can oo mm -a
hundred and if you "break the box
by taking out three or four, the ueaicr
will inform you, there will bo no tint
to pay. Then, by concean. .h
about your person and looking guilty
you may havo the pleasure of risking
n ,i imm-isonment. Perhaps a bet
ter way is to bo honest and self-respect-Uvr
I V your box of cigars and carry
l orn Senly, .. I did mine, hoi, hug
yourself ready to pay tlicau.)
' , i rru tenuis nnieers. in
1,1 , '... !, vnn nro simply a
car. ousci j- , - ,
C.ll, w" , rt!.nl12 fill"
vour own uso ami say mwn - -
snbioct. You win losii i ""
suojiv.1. .iii,t lint von
fooling gmity a,m Y,i,
ni-et your cigars all tho samo attho
Mexican price, ami joh -
St without fear with the customs o -fleers
and find out a good deal that is
Interesting from thom.-Cor. A. 3. Com