AGR OREGON SCOUT. 30NES & CHANCEY, Publishers, VMON, OKK1JOX. THIS IS ALL. Jt .1 s.vinter In tho twilight, Just u wlilsp'-r in tho hall, Just n siili on s.ca or river. Just a danco ot rout or ball, Just (i glancq that henrts entlirnl TuU 1 nll-ahd this Is all. Jut a fo.w harsh rorris of doubting, Just a silence proud and cold. Just a spiteful tircnth of slandor, Just n wrotiK that Is not told, Just a word baynml r;call This Is ull-und Mils Is all. Just n life robbed of Its brightness. Just a heart by sorrow filled, ( Just n fnlth that trusts no longer, Just a love by doubting chilled, Just a tow hot tears that full This Is all-uh 1 this Is nil. ItotU Churchill, in Chainltrt' Journal. A LION TA3LEK. Ho Tolls How to Boasts. Train Wild As a ICuln Drink Kill tho KIiiks or the , l'rorrnslon GrorRo WoinlmvH'n "Suc Cfssful" Dng and I. ion IlBlit. 'I sec by tho papers tli.it tlio Horn have had Uordel, tho lion king, in Franco at lust, sir," said nu old man with gray linir and unmistakable gran ger appearance, to tho Herald man in tho rotunda of tho Palmer Houso the other day, "Well, I thought it would como to that at last. They'll do il sooner or later. Tho bottle does it, sir. A man may ho as hold and as sober ni ho pleases till ho gets once torn anil then his nervo begins to fail. Any man's would if ho had half tho llosh torn oil' his sides and then ho want? n dram or two to steady him. One drink leads to another, nnd so on, un til ho gets reckless, allows tho worst oi tho lot on which, if he were sober, he would know ho ought to keep his eye, got dodging round behind him, or hits a beast in which ho ought to know a blow will rouso a sleeping devil, or makes a stagger and goes down, and then tho lot aro onto him." "You speak as if you knew Fomo thingof tho business," said tho Jlcnild man. "Were you ever a lion king?" "No, sir; I can't say as I ever was a lion king, I never had tho pluck for that, but. I've been in the business all tho samo and used to work under this eamo Lion King Bordel as has been Ravaged. My name's Wolfe, Henry! Wolfe, ami I've a nitol a lann now out Tooria ways. I've quit tho lion busi ness many a year, but i knew it well." "Will you tell tho Herald something nbout lions?" " I am an Knglishman by birth, and was a tanner by trade, but times was hard and I fell out of a job. A travel ing nionagcrio eamo along and they wanted a man to help the lion king, handing him in his properties when performing, and such like, and bo I took tho job. Well, by and s "by thoy got mo to go into tho cago, but great Scott! didn't I if link, and there never was a day that 1 hart to go in among tho devils that I didn't try a rough bit of a prayer to rtrivo away tho nervousness. Then 1 found that brandy took tho shino out of tho prayer, and 1 used always to " havo a tidy drop insido of mo before I wont in. 1 knew tho risk of tho "brand. Didn't I get this tear down my hand one evening when I had taken eo much that I didn't see that old lion ess creeping around to my hack? Still I went on drinking, and then at last I got the delirium tremens, and then, in stead of seoin' snakes 1 saw lions and tlgors. Sometimes it was tho Hoyal Uongal as was a-eatehin' of mo, and sometimes it was tin big Nubian, hut they wore always there, and when I eamo out of that boat I nover went into. tao cage again. "Three kinds of lions como to this country and Kuropo, and tho biggest European importer is Jamraeh. Tho lions como from tho Gnpo and some Nubia, and another sort como from Senegal. You p;ot them from Jamraeh well nigh as wild as tho day they wero caught, for I believe ho nover allows any of his men to go into tho cages, nnd if ho wants to shift them ho places ono cago alongside another and drives thorn In by placing straw in the den he wants them to quit. Tho tiger is not so sullen in confinement, but is more treacherous, and when ho onco loses command of himself there is not a pin to chooso between him and the lion. 1 think I would soonor, on tho whole, havo truck with the lion than tho tiger. Some people will toll you that there is no vico about either, Bysh! It's nil very well to say that when ho puts his claws into you in a playful way that you ought to havo presence of mind nnd keep still and ho will take them out Hut when you feel tho claws go ing Into you an inch or more, you can not help dragging tho limb away. Then tho beast drags his way, and you got torn and tho blood comes, and tho animal, partly at the sight of blood mid partly in a fit of desperation, as he Icnows ho has done wrong, takes hold anyhow, and tho others in tho cago catch tho, infection and then you can say your prayers. Tho most dangerous tJnio to interfere is when thoy aro feed ing, especially if they aro gnawing a Iwno. It is pretty near certain death for a man to go near nu old lion or lioness when either is gnawing a bono -and try to take it away from them. The lion-tamer likes to get his beasts as young as ho can, because then they aro moro ens-ily brought into order, al though no doubt there are many in stances when u full-grown forest Hon has been trained to a high perfection. Whatever is the renson, it is a fact that forest lions arc moro intelligent and teachable than those bred in confine ment. The lion-tamer begins by taking the feeding of them into Ids own hands, and so gets them to know him. H commences feeding them from out side tho den, then ventures inside. to one at a time, always caref ully keeping hi? face to tho animal and avoiding any violence, which is a mistake whenever it can be avoided, as it arouses the dor mant devil in tho beasts. Getting to handle the lion tho tamer begins by stroking him down tho back, gradually working up to tho head, which he be gins to scratch, and tho lion, which, like the cat, likes friction, begins to rub his head against tho hand. When this familiarity in well established a board is handed to the trainer, which ho places across the cage, and tenches the lion to jump over it. Gradually this board is heightened, tho lion jumping over it at every stage, and then come tho hoops, etc., held on top of the board to quicken tho beast's uudor .itnnding. To teach the uniinnl to jump over tho trainer the latter Moops along side tho board, so that when tho lion clear one he clears the other, and half a dozen lessons aro generally sulllcient to teach him this. To get a lion to lio down nnd allow tho trainer to stand on him is more dillieult. It i done by ilicking tho beast over the back with a small whip and attho same time pressing him down with one hand. By raising the head and taking hold of tho nostrils witli the right hand, and the under lip and lower jaw with the left, the Hon loses greatly tho power of his jaws, so that a man can pull them open and put his head insido the beast's mouth, tho feat with which Van Amburg's name was so much associated. Tho only danger is less tho animal should raise one of his fore paws and stick hisclaws into you, and if he does, tho tamer must stand fast for his life until ho has shifted his paw. Old lions are easier handled than young ones, ns thoy aro sure to bo better trained. Hy the way, did you ever hear the story of Wal lace's fight with tho dogs? No. Well, Wallace was an old lion belonging to Georgo Wombwcll, the Engl'sh men agerie man, and tho old beast was as tame as- a sheep. Well, George's finances wero at low water and ho thought to advertise a light between Wallace and a dozen English mastiffs would prove a drawing card. And you just bet it did. It took Hko wild lire, and seats were sold for the performance as high as twenty-live dollars apiece. Tho house was packed and hundreds couldn't get in. It was a queer go anil no mistake. When they were p.. in the cage the Hon didn't earo for tho dogs and tho dogs didn't caro for tho lion. Sometimes tho old lion would scratch a lump out of a dog, and sometimes the dogs would make as if they were going to worry tho old lion, but neither showed any serious light, nnd nt length tho patience of tho audience got ex hausted, and they went away in dis gust. George's excuse was: "Wo can't make 'ein light if they won't, can wo?" Ho cleared over ten thousand dollars by that 'light.' "Who were tho leading lion-tamers in those days? Well, there was old Manchester Jack,' ho was the first that 1 can remember. Ho was with Womb well, and was good as any. Then there was Van Amhurg, famous for tho head and mouth business. Crockett wns ono of then a st dating I ever remember. A den of Hons got loose once and Crockett jumped in among them six of 'em and drove them back to tho den with only a riding whip. Daniel couldn't have made a better showing than that, Crockett came to America with Howe & Cushing's circus, and died right here in Chicago. Then there wero tho two Maccomos ono a duller and the other tho genuine artic' Tho 'duffer's' real namo was, linunv Strand, ami ho used to keep a gingerbread stall; tho good man was a nigger, it is moro dangerous for a black man than a white, if it bo true, as they say, that tho beasts can nose a black man and aro mail after the flavor of tho llesh. These aro most of tho leading lion kings I re member, but there have been others of less note. As 1 have said, as a rule, drink ruins them all, and you can hardly wonder at it. Then, besides the lion king, you must remember that there havo been some famous lion queens, who have been quite as daring, if not more so, than the lion kings. Women often do more foolhardy deeds of daring than men, for this reason, 1 think, that thoy don't sullieiently comprehend the danger." Chicago Herald. John Cliue, once a oolebratt . rope, dancer, died at tho Forrest Homo re cently. He came to this country from England in ISL'S. He danced at tho llowery Theater in New York for four years under contract with Charles Gil bert for $10,000 a year. Once in Philn dolphia he proved too great an attrac tion for such stars as Wallack and For rest, ami they played to empty benches while Cliuo danced at tho Chestnut Street Theater. Ho was very popular with theatrical people, and they suc ceeded In placing him in tho Forrest Homo in 1SS0. Clino earned a great deal of money in his prime, but lost $00,000 by the failure of tho United States Hank. Philadelphia iVtw Two young crooks in New York succeeded in getting possession of a cheek for $1'J,700 by surreptitious means, but the largonctsof the amount frightened them and thev tore it up. X. 1'. Mail. There aro ton thousand notrosos in tho United States who annually re ceive ono hundred and twenty-live bou quets each, according to statistics, in tho Now Yoi:kei(. t ' COWBOY HOSPITALITY. The Tree nnd i:jr Wny In Which Thej Welcome Traveler anil Strangers. One hot afternoon, as wo were ap proaching Big Dry Creek, a cowboj suddenly rode in sight on tho crest of t ridge, and camcdown tho slope towarc us at a swinging gallop. Ho sat ai erect as a bronzo statue, and had he been lashed to his horse like anothci Mazeppa ho could not havo sat mon perfectly motionless in his saddle. In. stinctively we straightened up our tiroi shoulders, and sat erect also. Evident ly ho wanted to speak to us. So i rodo frward to meet him, wondering the while whether his manner would hi agreeable orirritating. After we had civilly exchanged how rto-3'ou-dos, ho inquired if wo had seer, any horses since morning. Ho had lost sonic, and up to that time, two o'clock, had ridden about twcnty-livo miles in search of them, No, wo had not seen any horses. So wo fell to asking ques tions about trails, creeks and water holes. Wo wero getting a deal of infor mation, when ho suddenly exclaimed: "Looky here, fellers! Tho best thing you can do is to pull on to our ranch and put up for awhile. It's only twelve miles from here. Take tho trail that turns off to tho left, about three miles ahead. You won't find anybody nt home the boys are all off on tho round up, you know but just go right in and make yourselves at homo." "Isn't tho door locked?" "Thunder, no! Wo never lock doors in this country. Somebody might come along hungry, and want to got in to get some grub, or stay all night. If a cow boy wanted to get in, and found the door locked, ho'd just simply break it Jown." "Aren't you afraid of thieves?" "O, no; nothing is ever stolen. A man's upon his honor, you know; and, besides, if a feller'd ever really steal .my thing out of a shack, tho country'd soon be too hot to hold him. Anybody that comes to a shack hungry is ex pected to go in nnd get a square meal, and stay all night if he wants to." "Isn't that privilege often abused?" "No, hardly ever. Say, you'll find a cow up attho ranch and you can milk her if you want to. There are plenty of eggs about the stable; if you want 'em go for 'em. Just make yourselves at home, and stay as long as you like. I'll bo glad to have yer company." A few moro remarks were exchanged, and then our cowbow gathered up his reins and said: "Well, I've got to finish my circuit, twenty miles more, I reckon; so I must be moving. So long. I'll soo you at tho ranch alout sundown." And Hinging tho last remark over his shoulder at us his pony galloped rapidly away, a moment later he rodo over the ridgo and disappeared. Ilr. T. Horn aday, m Cosmopolitan. FLOATING VILLAS. Tho yueer IIinie-Uoat Moor- il Along tlio Hunk of tho I'ppcr TliiuiKM, Villas on tho Thames, especially in tho pleasant, picturesque stretches be tween Hampton court and Windsor, command such fabulous prices during the summer months that nothing but. millionaires can indulge in tho luxury. "Necessity is tho mother of invention," and an ingenious mind has initiated a movement that will make of the upper Thames a series of lloating villages. This new fad is a house-boat, built on almost a lla't bottom, thus allowing it to be moored at any sylvan spot close under the umbrageous trees that line the banks. The boat has its saloon, dining and sleeping rooms, and is generally fitted up by the ladies with exquisite tasto and comfort. Thero is great luxury in a quiet life on these handsomely-appointed craft.", and their numbers in creased so rapidly last year that tho tradesmen sent round small steam boats taking orders and delivering the provisions. The owners of lino villas aro naturallv indignant at the constant inroads on their privacy, and tho ques tion as to tho right of mooring such boats in close proximity to tho grounils of a park is to bo tested in tho law courts. These craft were moved to different parts of tho river by means of tugs, but recently a stern-wheel veloci pede has been tested as a motive power. The paddles, two feet in diameter, are connected with a gut-baud to the driving-wheel, which is twenty-six inches in diameter and over seventy pounds in weight. Ordinary bicycle handles, which are connected with tho rudder, saddle cranks, and treadles are used. The boat is thirty feet long and seven feet beam, and was profiled two miles and a half, between Mnrlow and Bourne End, in forty minutes, which is good time. It caused a great deal of aston ishment to t)ie oarnien and inhabitants of other house-boats to see such a big thing propelled so easily by ono man. London Letter. In tho school-books of a genoratlon Mill young a vast tract of territory west of the Missouri river was known as the "Great American desert," and tho man ner in which that supposed sterile area has been transformed into profitable grazing regions and has oven been cov ered with fertile farms and gardens is ono of tho most remarkable achieve ments of American enterprise during tho past decade. Eastern people who behold with wonder the present rapid growth of that section aro oven led to believe that tho settlers bring an in creased faiufall with them and thus overcome the arid character of the plains, or nt least that the cultivation of the soil and tho planting of trees en I.uiice the supply of atmospheric moist ure. .V. V. Herald. -If you havo no dark plaoo for tho fruit -n:w wrap oneh ono separately lu h"a p.ipi r. Ciixx IlwstimpiHg. ' PLATE GLASS. How It Is Manufactured In tho 1'rlnclpal Works of Kuropo. Plate glass is only mado in tho very largest factories. Tho plate glass works at Uavonhead, England, aro in a building 839x155 foot; tho molting furnace is placed in tho center of the building, with openings on two parallel sides for working purposes, whilo along two sides of the building aro arranged tho annealing ovens, which aro often mado very largo to receive tho im menso plates that aro made The materials of which the host plato glass is mado aro pure silica or quartz sand, pure carbonate of soda, slaked Hint and plato glass cullot, that is, bits of broken plate glass. These materials, in proper proportions, arc put in the 'melting-pot, where they aro allowed tc remain from ten to sixteen hours, oi even longer, until the whole has become ftied and tho soda is thoroughly vola tilized. Toward 'the last the temper ature is allowed to fall and tho glass then acquires the visclditv suitable foi casting. In some factories it is then transferred to another vessel, where it is allowed to stand at the samo high torn peraturo for some time before casting but in many establishments it is poured directly from the melting-pot upon the casting-table. This tabic consists of massive slab, usually of cast-iron, sup ported by a frame, and generally placed at tho mouth of tho annealing oven On each siilo of tho table arc ribs or bars of metal, which keep tho glass within proper limits, and by their height determine tho thickness of tin plato. A copper or bronze cylinder about a foot in diameter lies across the table unon tho sulo bars. Jlio table is heated by having hot coals placed upon it, and is then carefully cleaned. I lie pots of melted glass aro then lifted from the furnace, skimmed with a large copper knife, conveyed on wheel-racks to tho table, and being swung up by means of a crane, aro emptied thereon The cylinder now rolled across the vis cid mass spreads tho glass out in v sheet of uniform breadth and thickness. While the plitc is still rovt hot its end is turned up like a llange, and with rake it is thrust into tho annealing oven, which is heated to a dull red he'at. Other pi ites are now immedi ately cast, upon tho hot table until tho annealing oven is filled, when it is closed and slowly cooled for live days. Taken from the oven, tho unites are ground smooth with sand and water, and afterward with emery paper, s'hey nre then polished with powder of red oxide of iron, under considerable pros sure This work of grinding and pol ishing is done by machinery, by means of which a most brilliant surface is readily secured. Chicago Inter Ocean. ZUNI BLANKETS. ITow Thio Indrstructllilo Articles Mailt) liy ImltistrliiiiH Sijiiuwh. Are As we entered tlio village every one there was busy doing something. Some old smiaws were sitting outside their houses crooning snatches of Indian songs in a low, guttural tone, their hands mcauwhilo moving with wonder ful rapidity, passing balls of colored woolen thread backward and forward between other threads which were stretched vertically inside a square wooden frame Whilo we wero watch ing them somo of the natives gathered around, and one of them, an old buck, nddiv-sed us, saying, in broken English: "H-i!'.oo sojers; where goin' ?" After wo had aiiMwred him to his satisfaction wo tried to find out what tho squaws wero making, but we could not get tho desired information until wo had pro duced some tobacco and signified that if ho would tell us wo would give him some When the old fellow saw tlio tobac co his face beamed with smiles in an in stant, and he replied: "Ow, ow yes, yes, tne li!;- him mucho very much. Tobacco heap bueno;" (good); and when wo had given him some ho said, pointing to the squaw: "Him make blanket; blanket heap bueno; me jo got him," and he disappeared inside ono of the houses, returning nhno.-t im mediately with a blanket across his arm, which he held up for our inspec tion, saying: "You Hko him? Twenty dollars. Me sell." After bargaining with him for a few minutes one of our party bought tho blanket for fifteen dollars, and ho nover regretted it. Their blankets far excel those manufactured by their white brethren. The Zunis take tho wool as it comes off the sheep, color it, spin it into threads, and then turn it over to tho squaws, who make tho blankets, every thing being done by hand alone. Tho prices for blankets range from five dollars to fifty dollars, according to size, and they are well worth the money. 1 have seen ono tied by the corners hold a quantity of water for days without letting "a drop come through, and its color did not suffer in the least. Cor, San FranciscoChronicle. There is a man at Duluth who has invested nearly $300,000 in tho last twenty years in lotteries, rallies, policy playing and dice-shaking, and has never won much more than a glass of beer. Ho says he is bound to keep nt it until ho hits a fortune, but his four bare footed children aro a bit doubtful if thoy can get along without shoes until that time arrives. In his last rafllo tho man bought twenty-four out of fifty chances, and lost at that. St. Paul Pioneer. A Harvard professor has made tho calculation that if men wore really as big as they sometimes fool there would be room in tho United States for only two professors, three lawyers, two doc tors, and a reporter on a Philadelphia paper. Tho rust of us would bo crowded into tho son and havo to swim for it. Ditrvii Fret Press. FOREIGN GOSSIP. The Berlin dog tax yielded tho city last year 2SG.000 marks ($71,600) An orango trco over four hundred years old, in the orangeric at Versailles, u-n nlnntpil bvElenoradc Castile, tin wife of Charles 111. hf return for his gift of Arabia! horses. Queen Victoria sent to the Sul tan of Muscat a lino gold watch am chain, a hall clock and a costly tea service. As a. protection against tlio rabbit plague, the government of Queensland has purchased three thousand and lift uiilns nf wire ncttitltr. With which tc build a fence around tho colony. Prof. Collett. tho well-known Nor u-i'i'inn KiinloLMst. announces that the beaver is now extinct in Northern Nor wav, but estimates that about one htm died and sixty aro still in existence in the South, chiefly in tho provinces ol Nedenaes The imperial family of Austria do not, wnsto their tunc in idleness. J. lie Crown Prince has lately published book, tho Archduchess Maria Valeric is writing a play, and the Archduke Karl Salvator has just got a patent for a new repeating rille. The failure of tho famous Gunpowder-Plot of Guv Fawkes, by which tine Houses of Parliament were to bo de stroved November 5, 1C0G, is still com memorated in the Church of St. Mary Le How, London, by an annual sermon, for which a sum of money was be queathed moro than two centuries ago. Tho Crown Prince of Germany, like Von Moltke, is a very silent man. He lives in a quiet, domestic way, and is said to be bitterly opposed to the sentiments of Prince Bismarck; and this is a source of considerable annoy ance to tho old Emperor. After his first audience with the. Pope his only remark avos: "Tho Popo is a l-rcnch-m an." Some experiments lately brought before tho Paris Academy by M. Luvini coincide with those of other observers he considers in warrant ing the conclusion that "gases and va pors, under any pressure, and at all temperatures, aro perfect insulators, and can not be electrified through friction, either with ono another or with solid or liquid substances." The late King Alfonso of Spain is not yet officially buried, although he has just been dead a year. According to rigid Spanish etiquette royal person ages must becomo "mummified" before being finally hud to rest, and so their coffins are placed in a special chamber in the rock, where water falls constantly upon tho corpse until it is completely petrified. So the body of tho late king is still undergoing the process. The president of the Vienna police is preparing one of the most complete 'rogues galleries to bo found any where. It is a collection of photo graphs of (he most notorious inter national criminals, and contains al ready 8,000 specimens. Half-a-dozen copies are made' of each original in order to cnablo tho police to send duplicates, when needed, to tho police of other European capitals. MR. AND MRS. BOWSER. How the I.iinl of tlm l aiiilly Wiih Snatchcil from the (Sruve ly II Ih WIII-I'owit. The other night when Mr. Bowser came home to supper I was lying down with n dreadful headache. I have head aches occasionally. I wouldn't havo them if I could help it, but I can't. Once in awhile I havo a chill, but it's nothing I'm to blame for. "Sick, oh? growled Mr. Bowser :us ho entered the. bed-room. "Got a headache." "Thai's always tho way of it! I wish I could remember one single well day which has passed over your head sinco wo were married!" "I'm always well." "Oh, you are! Well. I must bo blind not to havo discovered the fact! I want ed von to go to the theater to-night." "I I guess I can go." "Well, 1 guess you can't! Mrs. Bow ser, it does seem queer that whenever I havo any special ontertainmen? mapped out you invariably bust it with a headache, palpitation of tho heart, torpid liver or some other ailment. It niti-t bo the grossest carelessness on your part. Have you had a doctor to day?" "Why, no!" "Weil, we'll have ono! I'm going to know what ails you, if I have to call half tho doctors in town! I want to know whether I've married a woman or a bundle of drugs." "You may bo ill somo day, Mr. Bow ser." "Bosh! I've got the strength of mind to throw oil' even a caso of small-pox. The Bowser family never made fools of thomselves by being upset at every chango of tho weather." The doctor came up and prescribed a dover's powder, and ho thought I needed a tonic of some sort. Bowser was grouty all tho evening, and when wo went to bed ho sniffed and snuffed and muttered: "Oh, excuse mo! I thought for a mo ment that I was in Harper's Hospital!" Two mornings after that Bowser woko me up an hour earlier than usual. His face was very pale, his teeth chat tered, and I saw at ence that ho had a chill. Ho had been looking yellow around tho eyes for threo or four days, and it was evident that his liver was out of order. "What is it?" I asked. "I boliovu I'm going to havo a c-chill!" "Oh, pshaw! Just oxoroiso your will powor and throw it 0(11". "Mrs. Bowsor, I want you to tele phone for a doctor .two threo doctors, without dulay! Pin an awful sick man, ( without one chance in twenty of get- i urn llllg i til. "Pooh! Mr. Bowser, I had all ar rangements made to go over to tho to bo"gan slide to-day, and to havo a pro gressive cuehro party hero to-night It seems funny that you should fall sick and spoil all my pleasure!" "All right go ahead and nbuso mo all you want to! When I am under the sod you'll think of these things." The family doctor eamo up after breakfast and prescribed quinino and some other simple remedy, and advised Bowser to lie in bed through tho day. The following was the programme of the forenoon: 1. I soak Mr. Bowser's feet. 2. I prepare him threo different kinds of gruels. 3. I send tho baby over to mother's, because its cooing disturbs liitn. 4. I stop all tho clocks in tho house at his request. 5. I drive all tho boys out of tlio neighborhood to sooth Mr. Bowser's nerves. G. I shut the dog in tho barn and drive the cat to the attic. 7. I make a list of his debtors and creditors and lock up tho insurance pa pers. At noon Mr. Bowser resolved to got out of bed, nnd'thc aniountof dinner ho ato was positively astonishing. After dinner he put on his slippers and dressing-gown and asked: "Mrs. Bowser, do you suppose a cigar would hurt mo?" "Pooh!" "Thero you go! You don't sewn to understand that I have been danger ously ill, and that a relapse would cause my death! Mrs. Bowser, 1 be lieve you secretly wished during tho forenoon that I might die!" "Nonensc!" "Well, your conduct is very suspic ious, to say the least. In caso of my death I believe you'd marry again!" "I might" "You would, eh? That's the kind of a person you are, is it!" "But, Mr. Bowser, you've been sick 50 much, you know, and you've turned the house into a hospital so often !" "Who's sick?" "You are. I'd just Hko to remember the time when you had a well day. Mr. Bowser, it's an awful thing to chain a woman to an invalid husband." Then Bowser began to cry, and I had to tuck him up in bed and put a hot llatiron to his feet, and tie a rag around bis head, and make him some sago tea. He was all- right next morning, and when I asked him if it was safe for me to invito company for Friday night, he roared out : "Safe! Why not?" "You may be ill, you know!" "And I may not, you know! Mrs. Howser, I want you to understand that the Bowser family tho line I am de scended from never givo up until tho. very last!" "But they recover wondcrfully Hiiok." "They do, eh? And that's because f their strong will-power. Mrs. Bow ser, I'm satisfied that I was snatched from the grave yesterday, and that by no help of yours. If I do not return home for the next three days you havo :nly yourself to blame!" But ho was back at noon, and ho' hasn't had another word to say about my headaches. Detroit Free Press. SMUGGLING CIGARS. KSTSjMJ How to 5ot a llov of J 1 Mexican WvmIh Without Paying fluty. When you go to Paso del Norte, you will, of course, desire to indulgo that taste for defrauding tho revenue of vour country which is inherent in the American character, and, if you aro disposed to be moderate in your indul gence of this taste, you can manage tho matter without much difficulty, and at no very great expense, for tho articles you buy in Paso del Norto and smuggle icross.tho river, will not cost you much more than if you bought them of incr ?hants on the American side. A sot jf Mexican filagree jewelry, for exam ple, which tho American shop-keopors in El Paso sell for $5, can bo bought in Paso del Norto for about 8, and so tho joy of smuggling the things icross will cost you only about $3. My nlviee, however, is to smuggle very little, as tho stocks of such things in El Paso shops are much fuller and more varied than those on the other side. As to tho pleasure of telling your friends that you bought a particular thing in Mexico, that may ho had in any case Re member what CJiesteriield said to his son who wished to go down into a coal mino for tho sake of being able to say that he lone so. "You can say it just as well without doing it," was tho paternal ad monition. But if you must do a little smuggling buy cigars. Tlio Mexican weeds nio good and really cheap. Very largo ones ot line navor can oo mm -a hundred and if you "break the box by taking out three or four, the ueaicr will inform you, there will bo no tint to pay. Then, by concean. .h about your person and looking guilty you may havo the pleasure of risking n ,i imm-isonment. Perhaps a bet ter way is to bo honest and self-respect-Uvr I V your box of cigars and carry l orn Senly, .. I did mine, hoi, hug yourself ready to pay tlicau.) ' , i rru tenuis nnieers. in 1,1 , '... !, vnn nro simply a car. ousci j- , - , C.ll, w" , rt!.nl12 fill" tourist taking vour own uso ami say mwn - - snbioct. You win losii i "" suojiv.1. .iii,t lint von fooling gmity a,m Y,i, ni-et your cigars all tho samo attho Mexican price, ami joh - St without fear with the customs o -fleers and find out a good deal that is Interesting from thom.-Cor. A. 3. Com jjicrcinf -lffrcriiscr. (I