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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View This Issue
Cuited States and BrttUh Sornjsri is
Establish the Ltns Hamad In tha
The American members of the inter
national commission appointed to sur
vey and mark oat the Alaska boundary
line at Lynn canal, under the modas
Vivendi, arrived in Seattle from Wash
ington, and wil proceed to Victoria,
where they will meet the two British
members of the commission. The
American menmbers are C. H. Tilman,
assistant superintendent of the United
States coast and geological survey, and
his assistant, O. B. French. They are
gathering statistics and information
here concerning the matter they have
in hand. Mr. Tiilman said it would
requite probably two months to com
plete the survey. The line will be
marked with the usual monuments,
stakes, etc. On Ghilkoot and White
passes, monuments of a permanent char
acter will be set up, so that there may
be no possible dispute at these points
as to the exact location of the line.
"We are simply to ascertain the lo
cation and mark out for the guidance
of all persons the line established by
the modus vivendi between England
and the United States," said Mr. Til
man. "This line was agreed to in Oc
tober, 1899, after several months of ne
gotiation. It is by no means a per
manent or established boundary line
beyond the terms and life of the modus
vivendi. Our work will be necessarily
technical and not diplomatic, although
we are operating under the direction,
in this instance of the department of
state, at Washington. The distance to
be surveyed is about 25 miles."
Mr. Tilman expects to begin active
work in the field about June 15. He
and Mr. French will meet the Cana
dian commissioners at Victoria. They
are W. F. King and J. L. McArthur.
A party of about 12 men will be taken
alone to assist in the field work. The
expenses of the survey are to be shared
equally by the two countries.
State Senator Charles W. Fulton, of
Astoria, Or., has accepted the. Invita
tion extended to him to deliver the
Fourth of July oration in Pendleton.
The warehouses at The Dalles, have
already received about 1,500,000
pounds of wool, and it is pouring in
rapidly from all points of the compass.
The good road from Sumpter to Gran
ite will be constructed under the direc
tion of E. J. Godfrey. It will cost
$5,000 or $6,000 and will be a credit
to that section.
The $1,000 bond issued by the Ham
ilton school district, Grant Connty,
Or., commanded a premium of $12.
. The bond bears 6 per cent interest and
is payable in 20 years.
William E. McClure, formerly of
Eugene, and a University of Oregon
alumnus, will be graduated this year
from the department of law, Columbia
university, Washington, O. C.
. What are the Oregon boys coming to?
asks the Albany Democrat. John G.
Hammond, a Europe young man, is do
ing the villain in a "Sapho" company
doing the New England states.
J. T. Rorick last week cut a field of
rye on the old Frank Taylor place
across the river from The Dalles, Or.,
that averaged in height six feet and
eight inches. Mr. Rorick says it beat
any rye crop he ever saw.
A new tube boiler has been sent down
to Seaside, Or., to replace the large one
now being used by the saw mill there.
A 7,000 gallon water tank is being
erected by the company near the box
factory, and will afford ample protec
tion in case of fire.
Day Bros, have commenced work on
their saw mill at Cascade Locks, and,
when completed, it will saw 60,000
feet a day. They will get their logs on
the other side of the rivei, one log'
ging camp being near Stevenson, and
another will be pnt in at Wind river.
The prospect of a large crop of mel
ons in Yakima connty. Wash., is not
as bright as might be desired. The
seeds having rotted, necessitates re
planting, and the cool spell has not
helped to develop a healthy growth; it
is predicted the corp will be short and
The experiments that have been car
ried on by the O. R. & N. with brome
grass and on the arid lands in the vi
cinity of Telosaste, south of Union, Or.,
have shown that the new grass will
grow luxuriantly on the dry and al
most barren hills. A considerable
quantity of seed will be sown this year.
The steamer Signal was chartered by
the Pioneer Western Timber Company
for Cape Nome, and the vessel left
South Bend for that point. J. D. Dyer
is manager of the enterprise. It is
proposed to start a lumber yard at
Nome and supply it from South Bend
or Knappton. A part of the cargo con
sisted of 400,000 feet of lumber for
buildings and since boxes.
Fire broke out in the dry kiln of the
Addison mill plant at Tacoma last
week. The firemen confined the fire
to the building in which it originated,
but as that building contained the ma
chinery, the mill will have to shut
down for repairs. The loss is $15,000.
while the insurance is but $4,500, leav
ing a net loss of $10,500. The com
pany will rebuild at once.
H. J. Snively, J. H. Visslers and J.
M. Baxter, have leased 1,200 acres of
land on Toppenish creek, eight miles
from Toppenish station, in Yakima
county, Wash., and have seeded 400
acres to wheat, 90 to millet, 10 to field
peas, 300 to barley and 350 to oats. It
is their intention later on to engage in
dairying and stockraising and most of
the land will be devoted to timothy.
They have contracts with the Indian
owners of the land for a 10 years'
lease, and believe the contracts are
Jack Salisbury and A. B. Chapman
brought into Pendleton recently, 1,500
wethers which were sold to Howard.
a bnyer from St. Paul. The sheep were
shipped via the W. (J. K. and JNorth
rn Pacific roads, and will be taken to
the Montana ranges for the summer
and then shipped on East in the fall.
Mr. Salisbury stated that they received
for the lot $2.Ca apiece, which is re
garded as a very good figure.
Queen Wilhelmina, of Holland, has
Readjustment of Quotations the Lead
ing Features of Trade.
Bradstreet's says: Readjustments ol
nrica nuntations to meet the changed
condition of supply and demand are.
till the leadintr features of the general
trade. In volume the business doing
is of a between-eeaeon character, im
provement in some lines being counter
balanced by increased dullness in othei
timnnhox That the basic conditions ol
the trade are in the main of a favorable
nature, however, is proved by the con
tinned good railroad earnings returni
which come to band. The fact seems
to be that the volume of business offer
ed the transportation interests of the
country continues considerably in ex
cess of a' year ago. Crop reports are
relatively most favorable as regards
corn and oats. In the Southwest,
wheat crop prospects are still main
tained at a high average. In the
Northwest wheat has been helped by
late rains, but owing to their late ar
rival it is not certain how much bene
fit was obtained thereby.
The hand-to-mouth domestic demand
for iron and steel continues, but th
number of small orders received is
Southern pig and steel rails note
most inquiry. The situation in the
pipe market is no better, and plates are
weaker. Concessions of fractions of a
dollar are apparently easily obtained
for pig iron, but throughout the trade
the feeling is rather piore cheerful, the
feeling being that lower prices will on
the one hand encourage consumptive
demands, and, on the other hand, tend
to restrict production by less economi
cal plants. -
Business faiuree for the week in the
United States number 135, as com
pared with 167 last week.
PACIFIC COAST TRADE.
Onions, old, 7c; new, 2o.
Lettuce, hot house, 25c doz.
Potatoes, $16(817;. $17 18.
Beets, per sack, 90c$l.
Turnips, per sack, 40 60c.
Carrots, per sack, $1.
Parsnips, per sack, 60 75c.
Cauliflower, California 90c $1.
Strawberries $2.25 per case.
Celery 40 60c per doz.
Cabbage, native and California,
Tomatoes $2.60 per case.
$1. 0001.25 per 100 pounds.
Apples, $2.002.76; $3.003.50.
Prunes, 60c per box.
Butter Creamery, 22c; Eastern 22c;
dairy, 1722c; ranch, 1517c pound.
Cheese 14 16c.
Poultry 14c; dressed, 14 15c;
Hay Puget Sound timothy, $11.00
12.00; choice Eastern Washington
timothy, $18.00 19.00
Corn Whole, $23.00; cracked, $28;
feed meal, $23.
Barley Rolled or ground, per ton,
Flour Patent, per barrel, $3.25;
blended straights, $3.00; California,
$3.25; buckwheat flour, $6.00; gra
ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheal
flour, $8.00; rye flour, $3.804.00.
Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $13.00;
shorts, per ton, $14.00.
Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton;
middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal,
per ton, $30.00.
Fresh Meats Choice dressed bee)
steers, price 8c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c;
pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 8
Hams Large, 13c; small, 13'4':
breakfast bacon, 12 He; dry salt sides,
Wheat Walla Walla. 61o;
Valley, 61c; Blues tem, 54c per bushel.
Flour Best grades, $3.00; graham,
$2.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel.
Oats Choice white, 86o; choice
gray, 83o per bushel.
Barley Feed barley, $14.00 15.00;
brewing, $16.00 per ton.
Millstuffs Bran, $13 per ton; mid
dlings, $19; shorts, $15; chop, $14 pei
Hay Timothy, $10 11; clover,$7
7.50; Oregon wild hay, $67 per ton.
Butter Fancy creamery, 35 40c;
seconds, 45c; dairy, 25 30o;
Eggs 13Hc per dozen.
Cheese Oregon full cream, 18c;
Young America, 14c; new cheese 10c
Poultry Chickens, mixed, $4.00
4.50 per dozen; hens, $6.00; springs,
$2.503.50; geese, $6.508.00 for old;
$4.506.50; ducks, $6.007.00 per
dozen; turkeys, live, 14 15c pei
Potatoes 30 55c per sack; sweets,
22 4C per ponna.
Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 75c;
per sack; garlic, 7c per pound; cab
bage, l4c per pound; parsnips, $1;
onions, 1 He per pound; carrcta, $1.
Hops 2 86 per pound.
Wool Valley, 1213o per pound;
Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; mohair, 27
80c per pound.
Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers
and ewes, 3?4c; dressed mutton, 7
7 Ho per pound; lambs, 5 Ho.
Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00;
light and feeders, $4.50; dressed,
$5.006.50 per 100 pounds.
Beef Gross, top steers, $4. 00 4.50;
cows, $3.504.00; dressed beef, SH
7c per pound.
Veal Large, 6H7Ho; small, 8
8Hc per pound.
Tallow 55Hc; No. 2 and grease,
8H 4o per pound.
Ran Francisco Market.
Wool Spring Nevada, 14 16c per
pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; Val
ley, 1820c; Northern, 1012o.
Hops 1899 crop, 11 13c per
Butter Fancy creamery 17 17 Ho;
do seconds, 1616Hc; fancy dairy,
16c; do seconds, 14 15c per pound.
Eggs Store, 15c; fancy ranch,
Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00
20.00; bran, $12.5018.50.
Hay Wheat $6.5010; wheat and
oat $9.009.00; best barley $5.00
7.00; alfalfa, $5.00 7.00 per ton;
straw, 25 40c per bale.
Potatoes Early Rose, 6065c; Ore
gon Burbanks, 70 86c; river Bur
banks, 3565c; new, 70cfl.25.
Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencia,
$2.763.25; Mexican limes, $4.00
5.00; California lemons 75c f 1.60;
do choice $1.762.00 per box.
Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50
2.50 per bunch; pineapples, nom
inal; Persian dates, S6ao per
The fact that nettle fiber has of late
been found to produce the finest tissues
obtainable from any vegetable source
has led to a project In Germany to in
troduce the cultivation of nettles In the
Kamerun region of Africa. If the ex
periment Is successful, the enterprise
will be undertaken on a large scale in
connection with the weaving Indus
tries. Among the most remarkable glimpses
Into hidden corners of nature that re
cent scientific advance has afforded are
the frequent discoveries of micro-organisms
in unexpected places, where
they produce phenomena heretofore
supposed to arise from other causes.
For instance, Dr. A. Pettersen, of Up
sala, Sweden, has ascertained that in
preparations of meat and fish contain
ing, for purposes of preservation, salt
to the amount of 15 per cent, micro
organisms grow luxuriantly, and he
concludes that the flavors and odors
that are peculiar to various salt con
serves ar edue to the micro-organisms
with which they are crowded.
At the latest annual meeting of the
Geological Society of America, Prof. L
C. Russell called attention to the recent
discovery that many of the swamps
and lakes in the southern peninsula of
Michigan are rich in calcareous marl,
suitable for making Portland cement.
Although partly composed of shells,
the Michigan marl Is principally a
chemical precipitate which is still being
formed. The precise method of its for
mation is not yet understood. The sup
ply is practically inexhaustible. Large
cement works have lately been con
structed, others .are in contemplation,
and Prof. Russell says that Michigan
can easily take a leading place in that
In 1893 the Japanese government ap
pointed an investigating committee on
earthquakes. This committee, which
has now nearly completed Its labors, re
ports, among other things, that It
seems likely that one part or another
of Japan will be visited by a destruc
tive earthquake once in every two and
a half years. That portion of the land
bordering the Japan Sea is seldom dis
turbed by other than local earthquakes,
while the Pacific coast of the country
frequently suffers from great shocks
originating under the "ocean. When a
region is shaken by constantly recur
ring small earthquakes, it appears to be
rendered safe against the occurrence of
destructive shocks, because the accum
ulation of stress In the earth's crust at
that point is prevented.
Prof. E. H. Barbour, of the Univer
sity of Nebraska, after comparing his
own observations in 1895 with those in
1899, and collecting the opinions of oth
er visitors to the National Park, ex
presses the fear that within a decade
many of the scenes now most attractive
In the wonderful Yellowstone Valley
will have disappeared. He gives de
tails showing that nearly all the hot
springs and geysers have declined In
activity. "Old Faithful" geyser still
does honor to Its name, but the Interval
between its eruptions, formerly an
hour, has Increased to 75 or. 80 min
utes. Meanwhile there seems to be an
increase of ebullition In the water of
the greatest of all the geysers, the Ex
celsior, whose outbursts have always
been separated by irregular periods,
covering years at a stretch, and there is
hope that it may be preparing another
exhibition of Its power.
QUAIL-HUNTING IN EGYPT.
Half a Million a Tear Ensnared by
Much has been said lately of the cap
ture of quail in Egypt, touching the
protest made by Frenchmen against
carrying the birds across French terri
tory for English use. Until this mat
ter rose nobody seemed to know that
quail existed In Egypt, but they do
by the millions.
The passage of bands of quail over
the coast of the delta of the Nile, from
Port Said to Alexandria, begins in Sep
tember and lasts a month and a half,
the birds arriving in little groups and
alighting on the dunes.
Generally the chase is made by means
of nets of five meters high, which the
natives extend on cord's fastened to
poles, in the fashion of curtains glid
ing on their rods.
In reality the net is double. The first
near the side of the sea is of meshes
very large and loose, but on the back
is another net where the bird will real
ly come and perch Itself in the folds
formed by this second net of small
meshes. There is another method of
capture which is more picturesque.
Rows of dried branches are placed on
the shore. At the foot of each branch
is disposed a tuft of fresh herbs, in
the middle of which is arranged an
opening which ends in a snare. The
quail, tired by its journey, takes refuge
in the branch, without figuring to itself
that it is going to put itself Into a trap
where a native will surprise It and kill
it. With these perfected means of de
struction, it is not astonishing that each
year more than half a million of these
poor little birds are taken. St. Louis
NEW FIND OF FULLER'S EARTH.
Deposits of Unusual Parity Discovered
There has just been brought to light
near the Ocklockonee River, fourteen
miles west of Tallahassee, Fla., what
Is believed by experts to be one. of the
most wonderful pure veins of fuller's
earth ever discovered in 3ny country.
It is said to yield, at the expenditure of
very little labor, immense quantities of
fuller's earth, which stands the 100
test that is to say. there Is no waste.
Nearly all mines of the kind contain,
besides the valuable commodity, rock,
flint gravel, sand, etc., but this is abso
lutely free of all such substances.
Fuller's earth is a soft clay and It has
many uses. Half a century ago It was
little mined in England, and was so
valuable there that exportation of it
Twelve miles from the place of the
new discovery are two fuller's earth
mines that have been worked for a
long time. One is known as the Ward
mine and the other is owned by the
Standard Oil Company. The product
Hitherto these two old mines have
regulated the supply and the price of
the article and enormous profits are
said to have been realized from them.
It is estimated that the fuller's earth
found in this new vein can be put on
the market ready for commercial uues
at one-third the cost possible from any
other mine. t
Some of the more important uses to
which this material is now put, with
excellent results, are the following:
1. In making baby's powders of
great healing properties for the skin.
2. In refining all kinds of crude oils.
8. For distilling whiskies and brew
4. In the manufacture of all kinds
5. Packing-houses use it-for refining
lards, oleomargarines, butterines and
cottolenes. These commodities cannot
be made without the use of fuller's
6. As a foundation for manufactur
ing all kinds of laundry and toilet
7. A new use recently discovered for
fuller's earth is that the wool manu
facturers wash old wool with It, as it
Is a great absorber of all oils and re
fuse matter found in raw wool.
Convenient for Physicians, Amateur
Photographers and Others.
A convenient pocket scale for the use
of physic! ins, photographers and oth
ers who require a scale capable of ac
curately weighing small quantities, of
drugs, chemicals or other solid sub
stances Is here Illustrated. As soon as
the box lid Is opened the standard,
which supports the scale beam, is
thrown into an upright position by a
spring. This scale beam is just long
enough to go in the box, and the stand
ard is so connected to It that there is
no connecting or adjusting of parts
necessary, the scale being ready for
instant use as soon as the case is open
ed. Another good idea in this design
is to have a sliding beam scale, so that
there is no picking out and manipula
tion of weights, the beam weight be
ing simply adjusted at the proper point
on the beam to balance the opposite
pan and its contents, when its weight
can be read on the scale at once. This
arrangement also secures great stabil
ity, as the box, when opened, forms
the base for the scales, and prevents
their being toppled over when in use.
Naming the Prince of Wales.
About six hundred years ago there
was a king of England Edward I.
who subdued the people of Wales. Af
ter conquering the Welsh he was anx
ious to get their good-will, and so,
when it happened that his first baby
prince was born in Carnarvon, in
Wales, he had a bright idea. He an'
nounced that his boy was a native of
Wales one who could speak Welsh
just as well as any other tongue (this
was true, as the baby was but a few
weeks old), and he should therefore be
the people's own prince, Edward,
Prince of Wales.
Twenty-three years after this baby
became King of England, and about
fifty years later his grandson had as
signed to him, as the third Prince of
Wales, the crest and motto which has
been borne by all the English kings'
sons who have since that day had the
title. The crest is three ostrich feath
ers, and the motto is the sentence, "Ich
dien" "I serve." It was given to the
Black Prince, a boy of great promise,
who fought bravely at the battle of
A Thrifty Habit.
"Stinginess Is one thing and an ob
servance of excessive nicety in finan
cial details is another," said a Western
man who is worth a good deal of mon
ey. "As an example I will cite a rich
old uncle I once had. He was a mill
ionaire and not stingy, but he watched
the pennies like a hawk, and be was
so exacting that everybody said he
was the meanest man in the county;
but he wasn't, for he gave away $10,
000 a year in various charities that he
would not let the recipients mention.
But to the case in point. One day I
asked bim for a nickel for car fare,
telling him I would return it when I
got some change, but I forgot all about
it. Three months after that it occur
red to the old gentleman to be very
nice to his five nephews and nieces,
and at Christmas four of them received
checks for $5,000 each, while mine
was-for $4,999.95. It was just his
way, don't you see?- I owed him that
nickel and he wanted 1L"
How the Heart Escaped.
An old officer, walking along Pall
Mall, stopped to speak to a crossing
sweeper who saluted him in military
"You have been in the Service, my
man?" said he.
"I have thin, yer honner!" replied the
sweeper, in a broad Irish brogue.
"Have you been In any engage
ments?" "Shure I was all through the Crlmaya
"Did you get any wounds?" asked the
"I was shot through me heart," re
plied the crossing sweeper, without the
"Get along, fellow!" said the officer
Indignantly, assuming that the sweeper
was an impostor. "If you had been
shot through the heart you would have
been as dead as a door-nail!"
"But shufe, sur," said the man, "me
heart was in me throat at the time!"
The children's idea of good luck is to
have their mother prepare for a party,
and a big rain prevent any guests from
WHERE 'LITTLE MINISTER' LIVED.
Barrie's Home Is in Thrums, the Scene
of Several of His Stories.
Mary B. Mullett, writing of "The
Real Thrums of Barrie" in the Ladles'
Home Journal, tells of seeing the fa
mous novelist at the railway station in
Kirriemuir (Thrums) "to which the
family party walked together. Mrs.
Barrie first, a slight figure in brown
and scarlet, more English in dress than
in face, holding her head rather proud
ly and walking confidently she was on
the stage before her marriage. With
her was Miss Barrie, a quietly dressed,
rather colorless woman, not one to draw
attention from the three men who fol
lowed her. The tallest of these three,
the one in ministerial 'black,' a high
hat on his snowy head, was Dr. Ogilvy,
brother to Barrie's mother. The other
white-haired man doubled over, as are
so many in this land of looms, and
wearing great hobnailed shoes, for he
likes to take care of the pretty garden
at the top of the brae was Barrie's
father. Between them was a slight
figure of boyish slenderness. Though
small, he was not 'dapper, and we
breathed a sigh of relief. As he turn
ed we looked at his face with eager
ness. "It is a thin; dark face, almost hag
gard; delicate, sensitive, wistful seme
how, but stronger than we had expect
ed it to be. The dominating sadness of
his face makes almost a real shadow
over it He smiled once or twice, but
his face did not once really light up.
But sad and thin as it was, it is a face
that one would not soon forget yes,
and that one would be glad to remem
ber." The Hindu Child-Wife.
A Hindu child-wife divides her yea
into two intervals, one of which she
spends with her parents, this being a
sort of vacation time, and the other she
spends at the house of her husband's
parents, this being the time of daily
downright drudgery. Village girls in
Bengal blacken their teeth with mishi,
a coloring powder. The lips are black
also, and this is supposed to make them
Writing letters, especially to her hus
band, is thought to be fearful Immod
esty in a Hindu girl; and she has no
chance of improving her mind by In
telligent conversation with any one.
She must write to her husband, though
she has to do it by stealth In the night.
The moon is her lamp, a stick out of
the domestic broom her pen, the Juice
of the puin berry her Ink, and proba
bly the dried leaf of the banana her pa
per. A Hindu girl must always keep
the Inner apartment of the house. She
is only let out when she goes to draw
water for the household either from
the pond or the well or the river.
Hence the waterside is a great femi
nine resort, a sort of women's club,
where there is much gossiping and
plenty of stolen leisure. Christian Reg
ister. How the Young; Elbow the Old.
"The part of wisdom is not to drop
one's tasks too early, not to be in haste
to retire from posts of influence and
duty," writes Margaret E. gangster in
the Ladies' Home Journal. "Insensi
bly the young, with a certain uncon
scious arrogance, elbow the old out of
the way, and monopolize the places in
every profession and branch of busi
ness. Yet the young are not dowered
with experience, nor have they the
riper judgment of maturity. But they
do have what age has often lost en
thusiasm, self-confidence and pluck.
Old people are sometimes out of touch
with the present age. They have
ceased to be receptive; they have
grown mentally inhospitable and inert.
Is there, however, the slightest reason
why a woman should rust out through
mere indolence before she has done the
full measure of service required by her
Master for the time in which she lives?
As a teacher, as an artist, as a house
mistress and mother, in whatever field
you are, my friend, do not withdraw
from active duty too soon. There Is
need at the front for the woman of
warm heart and trained capacity for
affairs, and her age is of little conse
quence if she is equal to her work.
There never was a time when the
judgment of mature age was more
needed than it is to-day."
A Plea for Tea.
"Nature Is, after all, to be depended
upon pretty thoroughly," said a Chi
cago physician who has made a study
of the effects of tea on the system. "For
example, it Is the exceptional person
who craves tea at breakfast, a time of
the day at which it Is least needed and
is frequently most Injurious. Tea with
dinner, too, is not to be recommended,
because even if perfectly made there is
sure to be a little tannic acid in its com
position, and the stomach, in attempt
ing the digestion of a heavy meal, Is
much better without this principle.
"After 5 o'clock, however, the hour
that fashion and custom agree in pro
viding tea, is an hour that is also prop
er and favorable to the system. The
supply of energy with which the day
was begun is about exhausted, and a
cup of well-made tea is often a refresh
ment and tonic that is both acceptable
and desirable." Chicago Chronicle.
He Won't Get Her a Bicycle.
Mr. Wlmpley My constant aim in
this .ife is to do something to make the
Mrs. Wlmpley Well, you'll do It; I
feel sure of that,
Mr. Wlmpley Ah, Maria, I am glad
that you have for once in your life in
dicated that you have faith in my abil
ity to accomplish something.
Mrs. Wlmpley Yes, you'll die some
day. Then the world will be better.
Chinese Widows Seldom Marry.
In China it Is the rule of good society
that widows do not remarry. They
are not forbidden to do so, but they are
thought more highly of if they don't
In order to encourage them the government,-
when they have passed the age of
50 and have not remarried, confers on
them a tablet containing a eulogy of
their virtues, which they can stick up
over their front door if they like.
It is a pity that the woman whose
labors begin at dawn, and last all day,
and sometimes all night In caring for a
sick child, has no resource by striking
for an eight-hour law.
Live eagles are as hard to catch a
OUfi BUDGET OF FUN.
HUMOROUS SAYINGS AND DO
INGS HERE AND THERE.
Jokes and Jokelets that Are Supposed
to Have Been Recently Born Sayings
and Doings that Are Old, Curious and
Laughable The Week's Humor.
"Young Sammie Spender is carrying
out his Governor's wishes faithfully,
"Why, the old gentleman left instruc
tions in his will that after his death
his dust was to be scattered to the
"Do you believe in teaching the lan
guages in the schools?" asked Mr.
Clingstone of Miss Gildersleeve.
"Yes, indeed," replied the young lady,
"every one should be able to speak
English and golf." Detroit Free Press.
No Wonder He's Popular.
"What makes Benedict so popular
among other men, I wonder?"
"Why, he came right out, the other
night, and acknowledged that his little
boy never says anything worth repeat
ing." Philadelphia Bulletin.
"Miss Flatte Is a beautiful player."
i "You mean she plays beautifully."
"Io; that's Just what I don't mean."
St. Louis Globe-Democrat.
All that Was Necessary.
"Were your amateur theatricals a
"Oh, yes; every one In them had
friends enough to convince bim that
he was the best one of the lot." Phila
Would Not Sugar-Coat the Pill.
Mrs. Young Don't you believe in
managing one's husband by letting him
think he is having his own way?
Mrs. Strong Decidedly not! Man
should be made to feel his inferiority.
Squelching a Gradgrind.
"But how," asked the hard-featured
man who was looking at the pictures,
"do you know this is an accurate like
ness of Homer?"
"Do you know, sir, of anybody else
it looks like?" demanded the artist.
"Then of course it's Homer." Chi
Afraid of Her Majesty.
"My dear Mrs. Timmldd, how have
you managed to keep your cook so
"Keep her? That's easy enough.
It's only because none of us have the
courage to discharge her." Philadel
Willing to Write a Few More.
Friend Tennyson once received $10
for one line.
Poet Well, on one occasion I wrote
one line and received $20.
Friend Extraordinary !
Poet Not at all! You see, I was a
student then and I wrote home to fath
er, "Please send me a twenty at once."
Taking His Spite Out.
He was holding up one side of the
vestibule when the milkman arrived.
"What do you mean by being so
late?" he thundered.
"W-why, sir," stammered the milk
man, "It is only 5."
"Doesn't matter! My wife ripped me
np for being late and I got here at 4."
One Way Around It.
"Bronson's wife has conceived a
great future for him. She wants him to
run for office."
"Are you sure she isn't looking for
cause for divorce?" Philadelphia
Ida I don't understand It! Every
time the comedian tells a few jokes the
vender boys in the gallery begin to
shout: "Peanuts!" at the top of their
May They do that to drown the
cries of "chestnuts" from the other
boys. Chicago News.
One on Her Husband.
"When you're downtown to-day,"
said Mrs. Jibsqwak, "I want you to
get something at the druggist's. If yon
can't get it at the druggist's you can
get it of the Iceman."
"What's the matter with you?" de
manded her spouse. "Are you crazy?
There's nothing that the druggist and
Iceman both keep!"
"Oh, yes, there is!"
"What is it, I'd like to know?"
"Why, pond's extract, my dear!"
New York World.
She Doesn't the grand old sphinx
awaken glorious emotions in your
He Well, yes, that Is she always re
minds me of a woman who has firmly
determined that she will never tell her
age. Detroit Free Press.
His Only Chance.
"Well," said the poet, "I never can
be spoiled by praise, anyway."
"No," the critic admitted, "not un
less your stuff improves wonderfully
In the future." Chicago Times-Herald.
"Do you think that Turkey will pay
that 'ndemnity?" asked the Observant
"If it doesn't," replied the Cross-eyed
Boarder, "there will be one of the most
singular metamorphoses on record."
"A Turkey making o goose of It-
Not the Place.
Cholly I think In me beawt
Daisy Why, Cholly, you must be a
freak. Every one else thinks in th.ir
head. Chicago News.
Harbinger of Spring.
"Our cold weather is all over." "
"What do you go by?"
"Our janitor is giving us a full head
of steam heat every day now."
No Time to Break Down.
"There's one thing about a political
career, after all."
"What Is that?"
"It keeps all candidates In such ex
Grounds for Attraction.
"Wasn't that a peculiar wedd:ng?
The lovers hadn't seen each other for
"Oh, I don't know. By this time, no
doubt, they both look like somebody
The Modern Father.
"Papa, he has broken my trusting
heart," moaned the old man's senti
mental daughter. "What shall I do?
What shall I dor'
"Take it round quick to the repair
shop," said the practical old man.
Cleveland Plain Dealer.
An Artist's Admirers.
"Don't you thing Mrs. Dawbitt paints
"Oh, yes. I actually took It for her
natural complexion at first." Philadel
"Wasn't It terribly lonesome and
dreary living away up there among the
Eskimos for a whole year?"
"It was delightful in the spring,
ma'am. Thiy don't do any house-cleaning
up there." Chlcogo Tribune.
Man's Contrary Nature.
"When John was younger he always
grumbled when I asked him to dig up
"Now he has rheumatism, I simply
can't keep him from getting out and
digging it up before he ought to. In
He Was Satisfied.
"Do you believe that those who can
sing and won't sing should be made to
sing, Mr. Sourdrop?" asked Mis
Screecher, with a coy glance toward the
"No, I believe In letting well enough
alone," said the mean old thing. Bal
An Exception to the Rale.
"We ought to put more personal
warmth in our letters."
"Oh, I don't know. A man I knew
once put a lot of personal warmth In
some letters, and it got him into court
in a breach of promise suit." Indian
Uses of the Foot.
Chicago person Your custom of tool
binding is wholly incomprehensible to
Chinese person There Is everything
In usage. Your custom of foot-padding
is quite Incomprehensible to us. De
Just Like Other Women.
"No; to rubber.
City chap (angrily) Look here! Yo.
warranted this horse to me to be en
tirely without faults, and now I find
that he Is stone blind.
Country chap (cheerily) Wa-al, blind-;
ness ain't a faultr it's an affliction.
Thrown Down Again.
"I have always been a reader of your
poetry," began Mrs. Gushe.
"I am glad," replied Algernon Charles
Mystic, "that some one understands,
"Oh, but that is what I have been
hoping to meet you for. I wanted you
to explain." Philadelphia North Amer
ican. Would Do in His Absence.
"Dobley has just bought the Century
Dictionary for his wife."
"Yes; he said something might come
up she'd want to know about some
time when he didn't happen to be at
"I wrote that girl three letters asking
her to return my diamond ring."
"Did you get it?"
"Finally she sent me a don't-worry
Kindness Cures a Bad Habit.
Horses often have what Is called the
vice of shying, that is, of starting sud
denly at the rustle of a leaf or a piece
of paper, or at the approach of any
object to which they are not accus
tomed. Clearly this Is the remnant of
an instinct -inherited from their wild
progenitors in the steppes or prairies,
where the sudden rustling of a leaf
might indicate the presence of a wolf
and where everything that was strange
was, therefore, suspicious.
It Is Idle as well as cruel to beat a
horse for shying. That only increases
his alarm, and may easily reduce him
to the state of terror In which he loses
his head entirely. Horses In that state
seem to lose not only their heads, but
their perceptive senses, and a horse in
that condition may dash headlong
against a stone wall. The habit of shy
ing, when once formed, is difficult to
cure, but it may almost always be pre
vented by such consistent kindness of
treatment as to overpower the inherited
instinct of Instant flight from possible.
"Did lt'sfe tura to salt?'