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About Corvallis gazette. (Corvallis, Benton County, Or.) 1900-1909 | View Entire Issue (June 1, 1900)
PACIFIC COAST NEWS Commercial and Financial Happenings of Interest in the Growing Western States. Butchered Seven Whales. W. C. King, of Sand Lake, writes to the Tillamook, Or., Headlight, the fol lowing story of the killing of seven stranded whales: On May 10, as O. R. Chamberlain was walking along the beach, he dis covered some black objects in the edge of the water, and upon approaching earer he discovered that they were wnales, which had become stranded from some cause or other. There were seven of them, and they were making tremendous effort to get back into deep water, without avail. The tide was Waving them. They would open their months and draw in about a barrel of water and then spurt it through the bole in the top of their head 20 feet into the air, and lying sometimes on their sides it was like getting in the cross-fire of a hose company. Mr. Chamberlain made tracks for home to get his gun and a butcher knife to carve them up. On his return he turned loose with his gun to kill them, but after wasting a few shots he saw that he could not kill them in that way, so he sailed into them with his butcher knife, and stuck them as you would a hog. That did the work, and he soon had seven whales strung on the beach that were from eight to 18 feet long. He at once commenced to strip the blubber from the outside of the body and inside the head. The fat was cut into six-inch strips and thrown across a horse's back and taken home and ren dered ont, which will amount to several barrels. It has a market value, and Mr. Chamberlain will likely realize considerable from it. Insurance Bate Lets. Representatives of the Pacific Board of Underwriters have finally lowered the rate of insurance on all business property in The Dalles, Or. This in cludes the larger portion of the build ings below the bluff, and the rates in some cases were lowered much more than the citizens had reason to expect. This action on the part of the insurance companies is taken as a result of the increased facilities for fighting fire here above the other cities of the class in the Northwest. A perfect fire alarm system is how in order, and the lecent chemical enigne and hook and ladder tests have proved very satisfactory. Quarantine at Ashland. George H. McGeer, M. D., acting assistant surgeon of the United States marine hospital service, has been ordered from San Francisco to Ash land by the quarantine service, to in spect all Chinese and Japanese passen gers of the Southern Pacific passenger trains coming into Oregon from Cali fornia, and see that they have certifi cates showing them to have been ex empt fiom the contagion of the bubonic plague before entering Oregon. Valuable Onyx Mine. Spokane, May 22. O. M. Rosendale, a mining engineer of Portland, tells of the onyx quarry, about 60 miles north of here, in Stevens county, Two steam drills and a saw mill are at work min ing and cutting the onyx, which is the finest of its kind in this country. It takes a high polish and the colors are rich green and black. The deposit is about 300 by 1,000 feet and the saw mill is fitted with huge gang saws for cutting the mineral slabs. This Stev ens county onyx will rival that of the old world. In a bunch of beef cattle delivered in Arlington, Or., by Joseph Frizzell, there were three steers that weighed 5,000 pounds. An Eastern buyer who saw them said he bad never seen finer steers in the Chicago market. The steers were photographed in Arlington, and before an hour 40 copies of the pictures were ordered. They were grade Herefords of the Danneman stock. The season at the United States fish commission station, at Baker lake, Wash., situated at the headwaters of a branch of Skagit river, is practically at a close. It is estimated that upward of 90 per cent of the salmon taken pro duced young fry and that more than 10,500,000 healthy young salmon, of the sockeye or blueback variety, were liberated as a result of the work at the Btation. The Belgian hare craze has struck Baker City, Or., says the Democrat. Bela Kadisb and Moses Fuchs have gone into the business on a limited scale, with the chances of enlarging their business into ponderous propor tions off a small capital. Messrs. Rad ish and Fuchs received a day or so go two does from a rabbitry in California, and the pedigrees attached to them would make a Percheron stallion ashamed of himselt. Work is progressing nicely on the water works at North Bend, Coos coun ty, Or. Water is being brought from Pony slough and a reservoir of 100,000 gallons capacity will be constructed on the hill back of town. From this reservoir water will be carried in pipes to every residence in the place and will have a pressure of 55 pounds to the inch. The Grant's Pass, Or., New Water, Light & Power Company is erecting on the west side ot their power house a building for the making of ice. This plant will be supplied with the latest Improved horizontal compressors, with capacity of making six tons of ice a day. The company is also making arrangements to operate an irrigation ditch this summer, that will carry 500 inches of water in an open ditch, to irrigate many hundred acres of land below the power house. The flouring mills at Chelan Falls, Wash., is now running night and day to keep up with orders. The greatest difficulty is transportation up the river. All three steamboats are now loaded to their fullest capacity every trip, and till freight is piling up at Wena tehee. The Inland Telephone & Telegraph Company, of Spokane, Wash., will be gin work in a few days on a new line from Coulee City, in Grand Coulee, to Waterville, Douglas county, in the Big Bend country. This new line will be 5 miles long. TRADE IS QUIETER. Quotations Hare Weakened In Several Lines of Business. Bradstreet's says: Trade is, if any thing, quieter and prices are lower than a week ago, while efforts toward a re adjustment of productive capacity to present conditions, are noted in several lines of industry, notably iron and steel and lumber. Unsettled conditions in the cotton trade, and a large failure, due mainly to overstapling the bull side of the staple, has tended to weaken quotations in several lines of speculative business. Backward crop reports and the backward demand for cotton goods are of course partly responsible for the sharp break, but statistically the staple remains very strong. Advices from the dry goods trade are of backward demand at retail, affecting orders in many lines, but cotton goods production is still heavy. The boot and shoe market is dull with manufacturers firm but with job bers asking for lower prices. Lumber is on the whole weaker, partly owing to the unsettled conditions in the building trade and partly to the feeling that prices have been pushed too high, and this feeling is likewise true of a number of ether lines. Almost alone among iron and steel products, structural material is firm and much is hoped for in the direction of new business. The weakness in cast iron pipe is inducing some curtailment of production, notably at the South. Wheat, including flour, shipments for the week aggregate 3,698,968 bushels, against 5,178,422 bushels last week. Business failures for the week num ber 167 in the United States, compared with 155 last week. In the Dominion of Canada business failures for the week number 18, as compared with 24 last week. PACI FIC COAST TRADE. Seattle Markets. Onions, $9. Lettuce, hothouse, 40 45c doz. Potatoes, $16 17; $17 18. Beets, per sack, 50 60c. Turnips, per sack, 40 60c. Carrots, per sack, $1. Parsnips, per sack, 50 75c. Cauliflower, California 85 90c. , Strawberries $2.25per case. Celery 40 60c per doz. Cabbage, native and California, $1.00 1.25 per 100 pounds. Apples, $2.002.75; $3.003.50. Prunes, 60c per box. Butter Creamery, 22c; Eastern 22c; dairy, 1722c; ranch, 15 17c pound. Eggs 18c. Cheese 14 15c. Poultry 14c; dressed, 14 15c; spring, $5. :Hay Puget Sound timothy, $11.00 12.00; choice Eastern Washington timothy, $18.00 19.00 Corn Whole, $28.00; cracked, $23; feed meal, $23. Barley Rolled or ground, per ton, $20. " Flour Patent, per barrel, $8.25; blended straights, $3.00; California, $3.26; buckwheat flour, $6.00; trra ham, per barrel, $3.00; whole wheat flour, $3.00; rye flour, $3.04.00. Millstuffs Bran, per ton, $13.00; shorts, per ton, $14.00. Feed Chopped feed, $19.00 per ton; middlings, per ton, $20; oil cake meal, per ton, $30.00. ' Fresh Meats Choice dressed beef steers, price 8c; cows, 7c; mutton 8c; pork, 8c; trimmed, 9c; veal, 8 10c. Hams Large, 13c; small, 13H; breakfast bacon, 12c; dry salt sides, 8c. Portland Market. Wheat Walla Walla. 51 62c; Valley, 52c; Bluestem, 54c per bushel. Flour Best grades, $3.00; graham, $2.50; superfine, $2.10 per barrel. Oats Choice white, 86c; choice gray, 83c per bushel. Barley Feed barley, $14 14.50; brewing, $16.00 16.-50 per ton. Millstuffs Bran, $13 per ton; mid dlings, $19; shorts, $15; chop, $14 per ton. Hay Timothy, $9 11; clover, $7 7.60; Oregon wild hay, $6 7 per ton. Butter Fancy creamery, 80 85c; seconds, 45c; dairy, 25 80c; store, 22 25c. Eggs 13c per dozen. Cheese Oregon full cream, 13c; Young America, 14c; new cheese 10c per pound. Poultry Chickens, mixed, $4.00 4.50 per dozen; hens, $5.00; springs, $2.503.50; geese, $6.508.00 for old; $4.506.60; ducks, $6.007.00 per dozen; turkeys, live, 14 15c per pound. Potatoes 40 65c per sack; sweets, 22,1c per pouna. Vegetables Beets, $1; turnips, 75c; per sack; garlic, 7c per pound; cab bage, 1 So per pound; parsnips, 75; onions, 3c per pound; carrots, 50c. Hope-r-28o per pound Wool Valley, 12 13c per pound; Eastern Oregon, 10 15c; mohair, 27 30c per pound. Mutton Gross, best sheep, wethers and ewes, 8?4c; dressed mutton, 7 7 'ac per pound; lambs, 5,Vac Hogs Gross, choice heavy, $5.00; light and feeders, $4.50; dressed, $5.00 6.50 per 100 pounds. Beef Gross, top steers, $4.004.50; cows, $3.504.00; dressed beef, 6 7o per pound. Veal Large, 667c; small, 8 8 o per pound. Tallow 55c; No. 2 and grease, 3 la4c per pound. San Francisco Market. Wool Spring Nevada, 14 16c per pound; Eastern Oregon, 12 16c; Val ley, 20 22c; Northern, 10 12c. Hops 1899 crop, 11 13c per pound. Butter Fancy creamery 1717Kc; do seconds, 16162c; fancy dairy, 16c; do seconds, 14 15c per pound. Eggs Store, 15c; fancy ranch, 17c. Millstuffs Middlings, $17.00 20.00; bran, $12.50 13.50. Hay Wheat $6.509.50; wheat and oat $6.009.00; best barley $5.00 7.00; alfalfa, $5.006.50 per ton; straw, 25 40c per bale. Potatoes Early Rose, 60 65c; Ore gon Burbanks, 70c $1.00; river Bur banks, 4075c; Salinas Burbanks, 80c1.10 per sack. Citrus Fruit Oranges, Valencia, $2. 76 3. 25; Mexican limes, $4.00 6.00; California lemons 75c$1.60; do choice $1.75 2.00 per box. Tropical Fruits Bananas, $1.50 2.60 per bunch; pineapples, nom inal; Persian dates, 662c per pound. Max Pemberton's serial novel, "Feo," will soon be published in book form. "Toomey and Others" is a volume ot short stories of the East Side, by Rob ert Shackleton. 1 The manuscript of "Lorna Doone" was submitted to eighteen publishing firms before it was finally accepted. "The Black Wolf's Breed," a romance of the time of Louis XIV., is by Harris Dickson, a young Southern writer only 31 years old. "The Dear Irish Girl," by Katharine Tynan HInkson, is published by A. C. McClurg & Co., and is pronounced a very charming story. Mr. Anstey bus made a play out of bis really humorous Punch novel, "The Man from Blankley's," and it will soon be produced In London. Constance Garnett has made a trans lation of "The Jew and Other Stories," by Ivan Turgeneff. This volume com pletes this edition of Turgeneff's nov els, and contains an Introduction by Dr. Garnett, in which be places the Rus sian above all other novelists as the su preme artist. William Pett Ridge's new novel, "A Breaker of Laws," will be published In this country by the Macmillan Com pany at once. Many people will remem ber this writer's clever work In a story of the east end of London called "Mord Em'ly." He has already written four or five other novels, among which "A Clever Wife" and "The Second Oppor tunity of Mr. Staplehurst," attracted some attention. "A Breaker of Laws" takes its name from the chief character in the book, a cockney burglar. Apropos of the vogue of the historical romance, It is related of "To Have and to Hold," Mary Johnston's story of the Jamestown settlement, that It had been folowed throughout Its career in the Atlantic to within a month or two of Its conclusion by a practical, hard headed man of business. The practical, hard-headed man of business one day had occasion to call on the publishers of the book. He espied the book upon a desk,' and though he had come to sell paper, not to buy books, he refused to do anything until he had sat down In an out-of-the-way corner of the office and finished the story which had so seized upon his fancy. TROUBLES OF POOR LO. This Indian Says John D. Rockefeller Wants His Land. Waw-aleep-eshee-ka, the Delaware chief, who is at war with John D. Rockefeller, declares that if there, ever was a time when citizenship was de sirable the time has passed. He does not wish to be a citizen of a community which pays rent to foreign landlords and receives wages from foreign task masters. He says that his tribe has been moved again and again by the greed of the white man, and will move no more. He Is wealthy and educated, and is willing to use all his money and WAW-ALEEP-ESHEE-KA. brains to prevent the Standard OH magnate from grabbing the 300 square miles in the Indian Territory, where oil is smelled by the keen-scented monopolist. He has engaged Walter S. Logan and Harx E. Harby, of New York, to lay his case before the United States Court of Claims, but has little hope of justice. He says the white man has never kept faith with the In dians since- -William Penn's treaty in 16S2, and probably never wilL Waw-aleep-eshee-ka is known to civilization as Richard C. Adams, and he has writ ten a book, which he calls "A Delaware Indian Legend and the Story of Their Troubles." Uncompromising. Small boy Wanter buy a dog, mis ter? (Mr. Dignefide Not that kind of a dog. Why, he looks as If he had fleas! Small boy He has got 'em, but yer got ter glv' dat dog credit fer wun t'lng. Mr. Digneflde And what's that? Small boy He don't like 'em. Ohio State Journal. Germs. "Doctor, I wonder if I'm not getting old?" "Quite possibly. The bacillus of old age Is very prevalent this spring." Detroit Journal. Two Schools of Vegetarians. There are two schools of vegetarians. One favors vegetable food which grows below the earth's surface, and the oth er favors that which grows above. Poor IA Hons; Chang. LI Hung Chang is reputed to be worth 100,000,000. A woman can make a mental inven tory of another woman's attire in half a minute but she usually wastes a whole afternoon in telling her niegb bors the details. The average man appreciates his wife's temper so much that he doesn't like to have her lose It. CRONJE'S SURRENDER. British Writer's Graphic Description of That Dramatic Event. One of the most dramatic events of the war in South Africa was the sur render of the brave Boer leader. Gen. Cronje, who for nearly ten days held at bay the vastly superior army of Great Britain, while he and his followers were cooped up In the bed of the Mod der River, near Paardeburg. Describing the surrender and the ar rival of Cronje In the British camp a British correspondent says: "Presently a body of horsemen came past the hospital tents into the camp. Maj. Gen. Prettyman was one of the leading horsemen. By his Bide a great heavy bundle of a man was mounted on a wretched little gray Boer pony. And this was the terrible Cronje? Was it possible that this was the man who had held back the British army at Magersfonteln? Great square should ers, from which the heavy head was THE SURRENDER thrust forward so that he seemed al most humped; a heavy face, shapeless with unkempt, gray-tinged black hair; lowering, heavy brows, from under which small, cunning, foxy eyes peered shiftily. A broad brimmed gray Boer felt bat was pulled down low, a loose brown overcoat, ordinary dark trou sers; nothing military, not even spurs n his brown veldt boots. The only thing he carried that seemed to speak authority was a thick, heavy stocked whip of hide, which he grasped and swung as one accustomed to use it. By his side rode his secretary and inter preter, a long, bony young man, with a straggling red beard and very light eye brows and eyelashes. They passed into the square of highlanders, who bad been drawn up to receive tbem. " 'Commandant Cronje,' was the brief Introduction, as the Boer leader swung himself heavily off his pony and, curt ly answering Lord Roberts' salute, shook hands. " T am glad to see you. I am glad to meet so brave a man,' was Lord Rob erts' brief welcome. "The two generals sat in chairs al ready provided and the formal surren der followed. "Gen. Cronje sat deeply sunken In his chair, with his hands In the pockets of his overcoat, and sullenly regarded the scene. Every consideration was paid him, but until the last was seen of his bulky form driving away to Modder River in the close carriage which had been provided for him, his set, hard ened face only 'suggested that the bit terest hour of his - life was being barely endured by the man whose pluck, whose capacity and whose straightforwardness we, his enemies, are the first to admit." ON HIS DIGNITY. Mr. Williams Has Notice that He Is Be neath Editorial Notice. Just after we went to press last week, and while on our way to Abraham White's grocery, we met Dan Williams, -ess I J Ubb THE MOSQUITO- who owns the livery stable on Violet street. Mr. Williams did not return our bow of recognition, but advancing upon us in a threatening manner said: "Mr. Col well, you owe me two dollars, and you either hand It 'over or I will take it out of your hide!; "Mr. Williams," we kindly replied, though much astonished at his abrupt ness, "we know we owe you two dol lars, but we cannot pay It at present. As soon as the money comes in pn sub scription you shall have it." This was the best we could do, but so far from letting the matter drop he knocked our hat into the middle of the street. Then he knocked us after the hat. Then he kicked us and called us names. We did not flghtback. Our editorial dignity was at stake, and we maintain ed it. Even when Mr. Williams hit us in the back with an old tin can we did not turn to bandy words with him. We think that an editor should maintain his dignity at all times and under all circumstances, and our wife is highly pleased at our conduct in the affair mentioned. The Li ind of the Liazy. "In a late sojourn In Honduras," said L. B. Glvens to a Washington Post re porter, "I came to the conclusion that It was a paradise for a lazy man. Every thing grows luxuriantly, with but little labor on the part of the natives, and many crops do not need replanting more than once in eight or ten years. The country offers fine inducements to enterprising men, but It Is hard for a white man used to civilized ways to go 1-wn there and dwell among an Ignor- af natives who are 100 years be hind the times. A man would have no congenial society, and might as well be in exile. The natives usually live In bamboo houses, though in the towns the dwellings are of adobe. Children go naked for the first two or three years of their life, and the attire of the adults Is rather scant. The Govern ment Is liberal with concessions In or der to encourage the development of the country's resources, but there Is no general rule governing the granting of privileges; It all depends on bow good a bargain may be driven. The climate is very salubrious, and. laziness is about the only prevailing dnease." TO WIPE OUT MALARIA. Two Englishmen to Experiment Their Lives a Possible Penalty. Two Englishmen, Dr. Sambon and Dr. Lowe, of London, are to make an inter esting experiment and take their lives in their hands for the sake of human ity. These two men are to go to the Roman campagna, the deadliest place in the world, with instructions to stay there all summer and see If it kills them. If they return home unharmed, then the world's most fatal disease OF GEN. CRONJE. next to consumption malaria will be at the mercy of science. If they die, the government will pay the funeral expenses and the theory about malaria will be upset. The theory relative 'to malaria Is that It Is caused by a special kind of mosquito. This mosquito abounds In the campagna, lying seven miles out side of Rome, and the condition of that TB. SAMBON. region Is such that no person can re main exposed there during a summer night without contracting the disease. Drs. Sambon and Lowe will take with them a mosquito-proof building, and in it they will make their home during the summer. If they manage to live and keep their health where no one else has succeeded In doing so, and yet have no advantage, over the others ex cept protection against mosquitoes, then the case against the mosquito will be considered complete, and the gov ernment will set about prosecuting the pest wherever he exists In the colonies, and will give all possible aid to other countries to do the same, with the ex- PROOF HOUSE. pectation that malarial fever will be wiped out and millions of human lives saved. As the mosquito Is a night worker, the doctors will quit their houses only when the insects are off duty, and then they will protect themselves from" the danger of being stung by a chance mosquito. Few people have a correct Impression of the frightful ravages of malaria. It is the great disease of the tropics. It is the principal cause of sickness and death there, and of social stagnation. It, and practically it alone, Is the rea son why Africa is the Dark Continent; why some, In fact most, of the fairest and most fertile regions of the earth are but howling wildernesses covered with worthless jungle and Inhabited only by wild beasts and a sprinkling of wilder men. Five millions of people die annually of fever, principally malarial, In British India alone. That figure, heavy though it is, gives no idea of the amount of suffering, of invalidism and poverty caused by this one disease. A Great Glacier. The largest glacier in Europe is the Josledalsbroe, in Norway. With its numerous ramifications it covers an area of 350 square miles. This enor mous field of ice sends its branches down the valleys in all directions, often coming into close proximity to the corn fields. One of the most accessible of Its branches is the Brlgsdalbroe. From a distance its effect is extremely grand, surrounded as it is with dark, bare mountains, fringed with birch trees a perfect setting for the mighty mass of snow and ice. An old bachelor says that widows are the only second-hand articles that sell at par. After a man once reaches the top be never talks about the surplus room up there. HUMOJi OF THE WEEK STORIES TOLD BY FUNNY MEN OF THE PRESS. Odd, Carious and Laughable Phases of Human Nature Graphically Por trayed by Eminent Word Artists of Out Own Day A Budget of Pus. Coroner Why are you so positive the deceased was accidentally klled? Per haps it was a case of suicide. Col. Bourbon Youh seem to fohget, sab, that a quaht bottle full of liquor full, I repeat, sah was found in his overcoat pocket, sah. Over the Limit. "Tour greatest enemy is whisky," said the parson to an Incorrigible mem ber of his flock. "But," said the wayward one, "you have always told us to love our ene mies." "Yes," answered the good man, "but not to swallow them." Sleight of Hand. The Point of View. Biggs Figgs has the clearest head of tny man I know. Diggs That's right; there Is asbo lately nothing in it. Unmasked. He Who Is that ugly old woman Over there by the piano? She Oh, that's Mme. Cosmetique, the famous beauty specialist. A Natural Question. Four-year-old Harry, noticing that the clock had stopped, asked his father a question that has puzzled some older folk: "Papa, when the clock stops does time stop?" A Disastrous Smash. "I understand it's a very disastrous smash." "Yes, there isn't enough to pay the receiver's divvy." Philadelphia North American. The One Thing Needful. Fair Customer This cook book ap pears to be all right, with one excep tion. Bookseller Pray, what Is that, mad am?" Fair Customer It has no pictures In it" Bookseller Of course not, madam. One seldom sees a cook book with illus trations. Fair Customer But what's the use of telling us bow to serve a dinner with sut plates? About the Size of It. "Money," said the political orator, "is a great lever, and " "That's right, mister." interrupted a man in the gallery, "it's such a great leaver that most of us can't keep It." Two of a Kind. Hlx What would you think of a man who divulged a secret intrusted to him? Dix Well, I should think he was on ftn equal footing with the man who In trusted it to him. The Prettiest Picture. Charming Hostess Which do you consider the prettiest picture in this room? Visitor The one I can see now in the mirror before which you are sitting! Meggendorfer Blaetter. Very Similar. "A good woman," said the lecturer, "is like pure gold." "That's right," interrupted a face tious man in the rear. "Money talks." Unappreciated Liberality. Mr. White Mis' Jackson, Ah paid ten dollahs fob dis here ring. Miss Jackson Hit am vehy cute, Mls tah White, but why didn't yoh git one ob dem kind dat cuius in a popcohn package? Yoh know how Ah tubs pop cohn. ' Not as It Should Be. The Parson Learn to be content, my good man. The little mouths are never sent, without food to feed them. The Laborer (fatner of ten) Ah, par son, but the mouths are sent to my home and the food to yours. Chicago News. Truly Surprising. "Look," said little Bessie, who had never before seen a mule used for any thing but hauling. "What Is It, my dear?" "A man riding horseback on a mule." Pittsburg Chronicle-Telegraph. His Last Request. The Captain There is no hope! We are lost! It Is now half-past 2; within an hour we will be at the bottom of the sea. Rathkopfsky Couldn't you manage to sink her by dree o'glock, captain? I owe Rosenberg here a hundredt dol lars on a note dot falls due at half-past dree to-day, undt if de ship goes down pefore dot time, it let's me out of pay ing it, see? Life. In the Church Choir. "Why can't you be obliging? ' tried the facetious music rack. "The bells play when they're tolled. Come! give us a tone." "No," grumbled the organ, in deep diapason, "I'll be blowed if I do." Philadelphia Press. , Very Spicy. Ida When the hero saw her plight he climbed to the edge of the rock and clove the air. May My fellow has a less risky way of doing It. Ida Doing what, dear? May Why, when be wants to clove the air he goes out between the acts. Chicago News. A Change of Scene. "Why Is that Filipino running in that precipitate fashion?" asked the tourist "Oh," answered the native, gravely, "he's merely traveling for his health." Washington Star. Impossible. Husband Why do you persist in wearing shoes that pinch your feet? Wife Oh, I never could feel comfort able in a comfortable shoe. Life. A Tribute. "I want to stop in front of this win dow," said Mr. Blyklns. "Why, It's full of millinery!" ex claimed his wife. "I didn't know you admired such things." "I not only admire; I marvel. I take off my hat to genius, and the people who can get $20 apiece for a lot of bunches of odds and ends like those are qualified to give lessons to a Napo leon of finance." Washington Star. Some Other Kind Preferred. "Your system is generally run down," said Dr. Kanard, the eminent special ist, "but I think I can promise a cure in a short time, if you follow directions. Would you prefer a home treatment?" "I think not," responded Mr. Meeker, involuntarily lowering his voice. "It's it's my home treatment, I am afraid, that really ails me." Chicago Tribune. Breath and Brush Act, "Can you give a first-class polish to a pair of shoes?" "Shud say so, boss. Why, when Ab polish a ge'man's shoes de ladies glance down at his feet to see If deh hats an on straight." The Domestic Skeleton. "Herr Merzer, what Is there new from the seat of war?" "Sir, I object to hearing any allusions to "my family affairs!" Der Dorf bar ber. S) Change the Style. Mother Look out you don't drop a stitch while you are knitting those stockings. Daughter Well, if I do they'll be drop-stitch stockings. Not the Place. Cholly I think In me heawt " Daisy Why, Cholly, you must be a freak. Every one else thinks In their head. Like the Original. An old family darky was being hauled over the coals for scratching the portrait of his past master with a stiff whisk broom. "Marcus," said one of the family, se verely, "what ever prompted you to do that mischief?" "Pardon me, sah," responded the of fender, "Ah jes cudn't help it. When Ah caught sight ob all dot dust on ol' marse's coat, Ah jes bad to rush up en brush it off. Ah felt as dough ol' marse wud rap me wid his cane If Ah didn't." V About the Size of It. .Little Willie Say, pa, when a man fails in business what is meant by his liabilities? Pa The sum for which his creditors get left, my son. I Willing to Oblige. She Ah, how nice It must be to be famous. How I wish I had a name He (interrupting) Permit me to offer you mine. Haunted. Ida I am afraid of this old house. They say skeletons hold high carnival in the next room. May But how can they get In herel Ida They might use skeleton keys. A Prise Thought. A teacher of music In one of the pub lic schools of the South desired to im press the pupils with the meaning of the signs "f" and "ft" In a song they were about to sing. After explaining that "f" meant forte, he said: "Now, children, If "f" means forte what does 'ff mean?" Silence reigned for a moment and then he was astonished to bear a bright little fellow shout: "Eighty!" New Llppincott The House Habit. "When," says John Muir in the At lantic, "I asked Mr. Emerson's friends, if we were not going up Into the grove to camp they said: 'No, It would never do to lie out in the night air; Mr. Emer son might take cold, and you know, Mr. , Muir, that would be a dreadful thing.' In vain I urged that only In homes and hotels were colds caught, that nobody ever was known to take cold camping In these woods, that there was not a single cough or sneeze In all the Sierra. Then I pictured the big climate-changing, inspiring fire I would make, praised the beauty and fragrance of sequoia flame, told how the great trees would stand about us transfigured in the purple light, while the stars look ed down between the great domes; end ing by urging them to come on and make an Immortal Emerson night of it. "But the bouse habit was not to be overcome, nor the strange dread of pure night air, though it is only cooled day air with a little pure dew In it. So the carpet dust and unknowable reeks were preferred. And to think of this being a Boston choice! Sad commentary on culture and the glorious transcendent. alism!"