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About The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886 | View Entire Issue (Aug. 22, 1884)
,1 DEFECTIVE k - 4 v. - i 5 THE COLUMBIAN. THE COLUMBIAN. 1 Published Evkbt Fbidav, at ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., Oil., BT E 0. ADAMS, Iditcr and Proprietor. Published Evert Frtpav, AT ST. HELENS. COLUMBIA CO., OR., . Blr- E. 0. ADAPTS, Editor and Proprietor Advertising Ratm : Subscription Ratks: One year, in advance ,f2 tt) , 1 00 0 One square (10 lines) first insertion . . f 2 00 VOL. V. ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, AUGUST 22, 1884. NO. 3. tlx months, " Tkroe months, " , Each subsequent insertion . . ..... 1 00 ORIGINAL COL Tironr a at I I t; ; 1 A VARIETY OF LOVES. H. a Keller. There's a love for the girl in the seal.-Vin sacque, And a love for the girl without : There's a love for the girl who never goes back On her jroung man with a doubt. Tliere's a love for the girl who's got the tin, And a love for the girl who's none; There's a love for the girl of the rolling-pin, Who knows when the pies are done. There's a love for the girl of the rural part, And a love for the girl in town; There's a love for the girl of frolicsome heart, And a love for the girl with a frown. There's a love for the girl of "hoss-car" fare, And a love for the girl on the street; There's a love for the girl of dimples rare, And a love for the girl with feet. There a love for tbe girl with tresses light, "For the girl who dont care a fig; . : There's a love for tbe girl who sheds at night The whole of her auburn wig. There's a love for tbe girl in tbe east or west, And a love for the girl in the south ; But perhaps the girl that jou love the best Is the girl in the north with 3 mouth. THE RICHES OF GARBAGE. The Wealth In the Wante and Refuse f the Cltr. Chicago Tribune. J A great deal of money is thrown away every year by the waste of the refuse of onr cit es. In Boston some system of utilizing it has been adopted, and it is i-aid that the demand for the garbage far outruns the supply. Milkmen even steal it from the contractors and carry it away in their milk-cans. European cities have for . a long while economized in this as in other minute ways that mount up to enor mous totals. New York throws away all of its refuse. Chicago has used a Jarge part of it for filling up the lake front and for bring'ng up the streets to the new grade rendered necessary by raising the city. The market gardens in the vicinity of the city take more and more every year of what is furnished by the stables. But neither here, nor in New York, nor in other city except in Boston is anything like au adequate use made of the wealth that could be extractei from the dust heaps. A machine has been invented and put into practical operation in New York that may do something towards solving the questioa of how to handle those street bonanzas. It is a rag and bone picker of several hundred Italian power that will sift and sort out refuse or all Kinds to tne extent oi xou tons a day. Until this machine went into op eration all the refuse of New York, ashes, and garbage, and street sweep ings was dumped into scows and taken out to sea and there abandoned to the ebbing tide. But the success of the' machine proves that a, much more urofits:t2Tise may bo njad of it, to say nothing of the advantage of put tiner a stop to the deposit of bars of bones, and old iron,' and dirt at the month of the harbor. There is nothing very complicated in the mechanism by which this is done. The rags and paper are picked out and put to one side to dry. J. lie oust is sifted out to be carted off. All the solid matter is thro v. n into a "washer" in which the straw, the leather, the vegetable refuse and other light mat ter rise to the surface and are swept awav into a crematory where they are burned. The heavy objects the iron, glass, coal, cinders, and other things are carried along on a broad belt from which they are picked off by Italians and soi ted into heaps. In this way out of 150 loads of refuse, all of which hitherto has had to be carted to the boats and hauled out to sea, there are but thirty loads left to be a source of expense to the city; that which is taken is heavy and sinks at once to the bot tom, rising no more to haunt the fes tive bathers at Long Branch and Coney Island. The figures of the value of that which is savel are the most interesting to the owners of tbe machine and to the public as well, for they are an en couragement to enterprising men to ex tend the area within which these arti ficial Italian rag and bone assorters may be introduced in our cities, which will be clean the moment it is discov ered that there is money for somebody in keeping them clean. The rags are sold for $30 a ton. The old iron is worth $8 a ton ; the broken glass $6 a ten. In every load of 1,800 pounds of refuse brought to the machine it finds 400 pounds of coal and cinders, which have furnished the machine with all the fuel it has needed and will supply some for sale in addition. A Praiseworthy Enterprise. (New York Cor. Chicago Journal. A commendable movement among the stock-brokers during the dull win ter just past was the agreement made by twenty-three of the younger men to attend a medical school in the city, and learn how to treat people in cases of sudden injuries by sunstroke, freez ing, drowning, railway accidents, faint ing, etc. Six of these have earned diplomas for "fust aid" which is com petency to render approved help to pa tients suffering as above mentioned. 'J he others hope to pass at a future ex amination. Volcanic Coke. Chicago Herald. At a meeting of the Academy of Science in St. Louis a few days ago, there was exhibited a sjiecimen of natural coke taken from a mine of lig nitio coal in Utah. The coke had been made, it was stated, by volcanic action, two volumes of volcanic rock having passed directly through the mine. Am the Trees Pass By. Cincinnati Enquirer. A cute little youngster, being driven rapidly in a close carriage through a woollawn to a neighbor's to tea, clapped his hands and said : "Auntie, ain't it funny I'm going out to tea and the trees are all going home?" Effect of Progress. - Rockland (Me.) Courier-Gazette. The yOung woman who bites her finger nails and kisses her pug dog on the nose would fall in a stony faint at seeing her father nip a piece off the butter lump with his own knife. Arkansaw Traveler: De season blushes when de peach-trees bloom. WHITE CRAPE. Felix Gray in Times-Democrat. It was a very plain little cottage quite small, three rooms and a kitchen, I guessed from its ouiwara appearance, and painted a reddish brown. It stood back a few feet from the sidewalk, and the little strip of yard between its IrenoX door and th irate was a waste of grass and v. An um brella china crew beshi j Svhose rrincinal function s be the holding up to view a ' rd set tin forth that the premises were "For Bent." " 1 hey had been for rent f or hree months at least, and the red placard was well-nigh washed away by the win ter storms, before it met tiie pre destined e es which were to look upon it with favorable consideration. , It was earlv in April. The china tree was coming into leaf, and the tall gypsy cousins of the aristocratic dais:es were cam-Tine in tne weeay wasie oi the door-vard. 1 ha? been out for my accustomel morning stroll, looking after my roses in tfie up town gardens, and, passing tb cottage on my way home, 1 was struck by the novel fact that the in efficient little gate stood open. Glanc in&r under the branches of the china tree. I saw a voucg woman standing on the mouldy steps, looking critically about her, and a young man on the tinv portico in the act of locking the front door. I halted beside the gate, looking away, as if interested in the hoisting of a kite bv some urchins in the street, and in a moment they came out, their faces srlowinar with the ioy of satisfied que&t. It needed no superhuman penetration to disc over that they were newly mar ried and about to set up their first housekeeping. Her accurately matched hat and dress, simple and unpretending as they were, bore the unmistakable stamp of tbe trousseau, and the confi dence with which she took his arm, and the earnestness with which they spoke, turning their faces toward each other, told of a happiness some months old, and beginning to descend to practical considerations. I belies e I pass among my acquaint ancas for a rather cynical old bachelor, and I suppose my best friends would hardly think me capable of the warm clow that sunnsed my heart a? l saw this voung husband a tall, strong limbed, manly fellow, by the way pat the little hand that lay on his arm and laugh fondly down into the upturned face of his girl wife. The furnishing of such a tiny shell is not an affair of many days, so I was not surprised one morning toward the end of the same week, to see the young man come our. - of the - little-, gate, and close it behind him, waving his hand to somebody within as he turned away. met him at the corner, and could well fancy that his smiling lips still felt the warm pressure of the parting kiss. As I reached the deepening shade of the china tree I saw her standing on the portico, her head resting against its square wooden pillar, her drooped hands clasped lightly before her, and her eyes fixed upon vacancy, trying for the thousandth time to make real unto herself the strange newness of the situ ation. At the sound of my step she broke away from her reverie, and turned into the house with a brisk air of hav ing duties to perform. The next mo ment a window was thrown up, and a voice broke out in a gay luting song like that of a glad bird in a blue sum mer sky. To pass the cottaee soon became a favorite feature in my daily prome nades. and 1 seldom tailed to catch a glimpse of one or both of its occupants Sometimes she was about going to mar ket, and it was delightful to notice the assumption of matronly dignity with which she now tied her bonnet on, in stead of pinning it as formerly, and covered her shoulders with a little cape with long flowing ends. Sometimes she sat sewing near the window and once, the door being open, I looked into the very heart of the do mestic arcanum and beheld her with upturned sleeves and wide apron, vig orously beating something in a great yellow bowl. It was some time in June, I think. that I bade a silent farewell to my un known friends in the cottage. It was a moonlight night, I remeni ber ; the air was heavy with the odor of night-blo ming jessamine, and a mocking-bird was singing somewhere near. The china tree was black with its full clustered foliage, and the moon's rays could not penetrate to the little portico. I could see two figures seated there, however in the shadow, and their at titude, and the low murmur of their voices, accorded well to my mind with the jessamine odor, and the bird-song. m I stayed abroad usually late. I found myself well accommodated and well amused in Florence, and these condi tions fulfilled, one place is as good as another to a bachelor without ties. It was late in December when I landed in New York, and a series of long promised visits to some distant re lations occupied another two months ; so March had come round before I again unpacked my trunks in my familiar room, and fell again into the loitering routine of my life at home. I had not forgotten my cottage peo ple, and one of my first engagements with myself was to pass their gate and look in upon them. It was a bright, sunshiny day when I set out to keep this engagement, though the east winds and the clouds of dust amply fulfilled the traditions of the month. As I approached the place, the leafless trees and the closed blinds re called its aspect a year . ago, only there was no red placard. But what was this fluttering from the door-knob in the heedless March wind ? Crape I For a moment the sky seemed to reel, and the fair young wife dream ing upn the portico that April morn ing swept like a phantom before my dazed eyes. Collecting myself, I looked again. The crape was white; all pure white, like the Easter lilies, -white as the dear hopes that had centered in the little the, whose going out it signaled to all life passers, pleading with every human heart for sympathy in the tenderest of human griefs. - It was some days before! gathered courage to pass that way again, though my thoughts knocked frequently at the door. The east wind was laid that morning, and the sun shone with a gen uine spring temperature : there - was a sound of birds in the trees and a scent of roses in the air. that it seemed must speak of hope to the newest grief. I walked slowly by on the opposite side of the way at about the hour she had been accustomed to go to market, but no matronly little figme stood on the steps. opened when I had nearly passeu' ..a' the figure .of the husband appeared. He came slowly down to ward the gate, which he had almost reached, when the door was again thrown open, and a smothered-voice called: ' ,' "Harry." In a moment he was at her side clasping her in his arms and stroking her hair soothingly, with sad, comfort ing kisses. Ah ! well, well, the lonely heart does not e cape sorrow, and it was not your scalding tea. Mrs. Timmins. that brought tears to my eyes, as your daughter passed the dining-room door with her baby in her arms. Wellington's Watches. St. James' Gazette. The duke of Wellington was ex tremely fond of watches, and needed to have at least half a dozen within reach and all ticking their liveliest at once, and this is but half the story. Fearing some ill might befall those lust under his eve, orders were given when ever the great man traveled to have as many more stwe.l away in a portmanteau made to fit his car riage. One time-piece was, above all otheis. his acknowledged favorite: it was of old-fashioned En dish construe tion, and had once been theproperty of Tippoo Sahib. ' Another of the duke's treasures had a strange history. Napoleon had ordered it of Bregnet for the fob of his brother Joseph, and, as an extra courtesy, di rected a miniature map of Spam to be wrought in niello on one side and the imperial and royal arms on the other. Just as this lovely gift was finished, Joseph was driven out of his kingdom bv the duke, and the emperor, for reasons best known to himself, refused to take or pay for the costly bauble. At the peace it was purchased fiom Bregnet and presented by Sir E. Faget to the duke of vv ellmgton. Another watch owned by the duke was made for Marshal Junot, and a great horological curiosity it is. There has never been more than two others like it. They, are constructed to mark both lunar and weekly movement j. The great dnke gave preference to certain montres de touche and he had several of them a contrivance of Breguet's, having sundry studs or knobs by which one could feel what hour it was, and this merely by what seemed "just fumb ling in hi3 pocket. The Census of Kneel. Nova Vremya. On Jan. 1, 1882, the inhabitants of Russia numbered 91,118,514, living in sixty-three provinces and eleven dis tricts. During the year 1883 there were 4,043,863 births and 2,826,438 deaths registered, the growth of the population being 1,217,425 inhabitants. At this rate the population would rise to a hundred million in 1890, and in sixty or seventy years it would double. At present the population of the em pire is 94,000,000. The growth of population is largest in the southern parts and smallest in the 'northern, where also the mortality is greatest. It is difficult to say whether this is to be attributed to the climate or the economic conditions of the country. The average of life in Russia is twenty six years in Europe and thirty-one in Asia. This fact is explained by the enormous mortality of young children. It has been ascertained that 60 per cent, of the children'die under the age of five years, which means 1;500,000 deaths per annum among young children. It has also been proved that more than half . of the male population die before attaining the age for military service. On an average, a person is barn in the Rus sian empire every eight seconds, and a death occurs every eleven seconds. In St. Petersburg a human being passes away every fifteen minutes. The tor and the 91 miner. Clara Belle's Letter. A millinery secret has been divulged to me, and well, I am a woman, and can't keep it. Besides, I have a duty as a journalist, even though an amateur, to write all I know.' I was in a leading bonnet productory, and a man was in conversation with the bosses. He was in the show business. I couldn't help seeing that by the plush of his coat collar, the reckless plaid of his cravat and the jaunty tip of his bat. "The madam, he said, naming a well-known actress, "thinks you are mistaken as to which of the hats she saw here will prove most popular, and last best during the whole season ; but . . .... . . m she s willing to take your judgment and pay the $500. The understanding is, and we don't want any mistake made, that you're going to put this article on the market labeled with her name." "That is all clear." said the milliner; "we'll do the same with her that we did last year with Mrs. , and I can as sure you that she'll get the worth of her money." So this was the agent of a dramatic star, closing a bargain for the ad vertising of his employer through the naming of a popular hat. Kleetrle Llffht at Long Range. Chicago Herald. As showing the intensity of the elec tric light at long range, it may be said that at an exhibition given at Washing ton last week a 4,000-candle light was placed on the top of the Washington monument, 4dO feet high, its power close by was not noticeable, but at a point two miles away it threw a glare so bright that a person could read a a newspaper or note the time on the face of a watch "with perfect ease. Edmund About has earned $ 2,000,000 with his pen. WITHOUT RIVERS OR ROADS Mexico Daring the Rainy Season The fantastic. Burro. Letter in New York World. Not only is Mexico without rivers, but it is without roads. Cortez made a good artificial road from Vera Cruz up to Mexico 350 years ago, and this is still in use for the occasional wagon But the employment of wagons for transporting either freight or passen gers is scarcely known in Mexico. The reason for this doubtless is that in the rainy season June to September, elusive the roads are well nigh passable. ' Mules have been known to m-ini- be drowned in the very streets of tlm city stuck in the mud at first, and as they struggled to get free at last swallowed up out of sight. "You see that ( place in the street yonder, where it is im proved?" asked an acquaintance f me the other day, indicating a spot on the next block. I said yes. "That's a bad place in the rainy sea son," he continued. "I once saw a team of forty mules stalled there while trying to draw an empty wagon !" As a result of this tenacious quality of the soil in heavy rains, in a country where it rains every day for four months, the most of the transportation in Mexico has always been done by huacaleros and donkeys. The huacal eros still do the most of it. These are porters, native Mexicans, with a hun dred to a hundred and fifty pounds of some staple or merchandise strapped upon each of tbeir backs. These make very long journeys, sometimes alone and sometimes in large parties, and they carry every imaginable thing that is grown or used in the coun try. Some of these are women and some children. Whoever rides out of this city early any morning on the road by which Cortez fought his way in shall see hundreds of these copper-colored peons with strings of live elr'ckens, geese and turkeys around their necks and hanging head downward. They have brought tliis live freight ten, twenty, thirtv, fifty mile1, and still they go much of the time upon a short-stepping trot that most carry them five or six miles every hour. I would like to back a healthy huacalero to go-as-you-please against F.owell. Some of these porters are laden with gre en gra rs for the city horses (these women and girls, mostly), some with charcoal, "the only fuel of the country; some with wheat or bags of corn, some with cocoanuts. A strong man here and there will carry a great load of earthen pots and round jugs half a cart-load tied on in some mysterious manner by a string that goes around each of the out jugs and I have seen this porter sit by the wayside to rest, leaning back against his thirty cubic feet of crockery cargo that towered far above his head, and sticking his legs straight out before him the onlv way to dispose of them. I have wished that I could see him get up, but I never happened to be present when that con vulsion took place. The donkey, or burro, trains form an auxiliary to the landscape that is quite as pictorial and more fantastic. They carry everything that the huacaleros don"t. This little burro, with his aver age load, looks very much like a cat tied between two bundles of wheat. -Look out the window in the morning early and you shall see half a dozen burros up and down the street halting before the doors and delivering milk, the great milk-cans, two or three of them, strapped to each of his sides. Considering that Mexico is as densely populated as the Ignited States, it be comes obvious that this transportation by lot'ng must be quite insufficient. The result has always been a paucity of the ex change of different products that leaves Mexico, in regard to luxury, merely half -civilized. The Pacific slope of the Sierras grows fruits which the peo ple of the City of Mexico never taste, and the manufactures of one state are often quite unknown to those of an other. In a trip last week over the divide, 250 miles towards the Pacific, on the Mexican National, the train took on at one of the stations a ton or 60 of hand some copper kettles, pans, etc., evi dently beaten out by hand. I asked some questions, and Vice President Purdy said : " We carry . those up to Mexico to market. They are so heavy that peons could not carry them all this distance at a price that would al low the market a profit. The railroad solves the problem and gives the cook of the capital copper saucepans when he has always hitherto used earthen." Railroads will make the various parts of this republic acquainted with each other for the first time. Man Francisco's Way. The Cnrrent.J San Francisco, in 1849, had a mayor and common council but no police force ; not a street was paved or lighted, and each individual had to protect his own property from a gang of desperate roughs, calling themselves Joiinds, who attacked different quarters of the city at pleasure, firing at men, women and children, indiscriminately. Une day, the citizens organized and ar rested a number of "Hounds," impro vised a court, empanelled a jury, and tried and convicted the prisoners, who, however, escaped, as there was no jail in which to put them. This stopped the exploits of the "Hounds, tempora rily. In 1851, lawlessness took root again in the city and incendiarism was fre quent. One evening a merchant was knocked down in his store by some rob bers, who were subsequently arrested and placed in jail. Fearing that they would not be punished the people ap pointed a committee, who secured a jury and the prisone:s were sentenced to fourteen years' imprisonment. Sev eral more scoundrels were subsoqtiently arrested and hung with the celerity of lightning. . The majority of the rascal, fled to Australia and other po uts, whence they had drifted, and perfect security for life and property was ob tained. Then the committee left tin regular authorities to exercise theii functions, and the city had peace for a long time. They stopped when they had removed the source of disturbance and did not in turn become a terror to the community. A Private Koldier's Waxes. New York Times. ! A private soldier in the United States army receives $1J a month, rations medical attendance, full pay when sick, a pension if disabled, and a certain al lowance of clothing. The pay is the same in all branches of the service, but the alio wan -e of clothing materially diners. The soldier enlists for five years. At the start he is furnished with a complete o ltfit, which is re newed, with the exception of a great coat, at least once during the time he has to serve. His helmet has to last him until the third year, when he gets another one. He is given a forage cap annually, a uniform coat -the first second, and fourth years,; three pairs of trousers the first and third, and two pairs the second, fourth, and fifth, making twelve pairs in all. Eleven dark blue flannel shirts, fifteen undershirts, and fifteen pairs of draw ers are expeste l to last the five years He has a pair of boots, two pairs of shoes, and five pairs of stockings each year. Each year he has a blouse, and if he is an engineer or a mounted man a pair of overalls. : He has to j content himself with a woo' en blanket the first year, and another the third, and with two rubber blankets, or, if he is mounted man, ruMer pon -h s,j during the five years. !ifteu white; Herlm gloves are doomed necessary to cover his hands each year, rights or lefts, whicLe-.er he may need. If he is on duty in extre nely hot climates he may have a cork helmet instead off a cam paign hat, in his fir .t and third years, or if he is where he needs Arctic over shoes or mittens, he is given one pair of the former in his first and third years, and two pairs of the latter every twelve months. ' ) The value o.' the clothing allowed each man varies ca.h vear, and de pends upon the lank and duty of the man. A seiveaut in the signal corn gets s?68.t7 worth the first year. 40.r0 the second, $43.19 the third, $40.50 the fourth, and $o0.9J the fifth, making a total of $223.2H. This is the largest amount allowed to any enlisted man. The chief trumpeter receives $218.43 worth for the five years, and a private in the artillery or infantry, i 194. 'Jo, Wind apparently is held to be worth more than muscle. j Ani(lomii( at Washington. YVaxhinto i a:. Boston Traveler. Washington has a real English dude. He is not a shallow imitation, but the genuine article, and has created a furor wherever he has gone. I saw him sail ing down Pennsylvania avenue, arrayed in a loud checkered, tight-fitting coat, black trousers and a hat with a brim wide enough t for a Quaker. The most remarkable part of his co it u me was his shirt collar it was black, and at its uase nestled a tiny. white cravat. As. might be im agined, the appearance of this being created a thrill of amazement and the minor and cheap imitation dudes of American birth were green with envy. The subject of mv sketch interested me somewhat, so I made it mr badness to make some inquiries an l havo since ascertained that he is the person who advertises in the local papers here, "English taught as spoken in London A few silly boys and as many silly girls are doii g" the'r lest to '" quire the Cockney accent. Foreign gentlemen seem to be the rage in Washington. Only a short time since the daughter of one of the most distinguished Demo cratic senators said to a friend of mine : "Mr. Blank, I do so admire the foreign gentlemen. I think they are so much nicer than the gentlemen of this coun try, their manners are so fascinating." My friend gravely responded to this bit of insufferable insipidity, 1 beg pardon to differ with you, but in my judgment a gentleman is always a gentleman; his birthpla-e h of no consequence. The girl and her mother have done more to drive the senator into private life than any hundred, of his enemies, for a cold and heartless legislature has elected another to take his place at tion of his term. he expira- The tireenlandernj iGimk! Wor 8.1 '1 heir treatment of the Groenlanders has for many years past redounded to the credit of the Danes. The native population, which a century ago num bered about 5,000, now exceeds 10,000. It was stated long since that the ma jority of the natives could j read and write, and from personal observation I should say that the proportion of those who can read is larger than in the Brit ish inlands. In some way or other the Danes have succeeded in making school life attractive; and though the s nail natives delight in making dirt-pies as much as other children, they display a greater love, for school than is com monly fonnd in more civilized regions. Some other branches of civilization which have been introduced are per haps less generally beneficial. The vice of (muffing and smoking are largely in dulged in, and ' the Bkilling (farihing' cigar" has become an institution among the urchins. I heard in Disco bay oi one child, age.l 2 years, who! enjoyed s short pipe but it should be t-aid thai she was accounted precocious. The Submarine Fighter. New York Sun.) The termination of naval warfart seems perceptible in the coming of a little submarine craft whose plans are receiving attention in the navy yard. The patents for its remarkable con struction are issued. The vessel will have the power to rise and sink at will by shipping water and expelling it. It will travel on the surface or beneath, attach torpedoes to the bottom of a ship, retire to a safe distance, and trans mit the electric spark. Thi3 is the craft whii-h is f oon to float in the harbors, or to be swung on the davit of a man-of-war, like a steam-launch, j A sailing ves el equipped with nothing but one ot these can defy any navy now in ex istence, 'lhus Jule "Verne's imagina tive sketches receive verification before his ink has time to dry. j - 4enlaa Boot-Heel. Detroit Free Free-. J A Troy shoemaker claims that he can read any man's chief traits of character by the way he wears out his boots. True genius always wears the heels off like a cide hill. j : CAREERS OF CARICATURISTS. They Have Made Kvery One l.ngh Knt Themeelvee. Philadelphia Treti. The story that Xast has a life con tract for 10,000 a year with the Harpers is authentic. He is rich, comfortable nnd happy. He has a beaut ful home ; his house is described at length in the March Lippincott's Magazine, and his home life is delight ful. His position is perfectly, assured. He has accomplished a greater work than any other caricaturist who jpvex lived. His reputalluu" 1 - .IncV jiigu. It can make no diff erence to him if circumstances have made his relations to his paper anomalous. If he chose, he could break his contract and use his pencil elsewhere. If he chooses to draw a princely salary for doing little or nothing it is no one's affair but his own. 4-,'ii - What a career Nast has hal- com pared with other caricaturists ! Thomas Gilroy, after getting all England by the ears, died of delirium tremens. Ho garth's death wai undoubtedly brought about by his controversy with Charles Churchill, the poet, and because he could not convince people that he was greater as a historical painter than as a caricaturist. George C'ruikshank's life was embittered by a similar ' notion. He thought his etchings were mere trifles, but that his oil pa'ntings were great. So they were in si-e, but the famous etcher had little idea of color or composition. Robert h'eymour committed suie'de. He was the man to whose great vogue Dickens was at first indebted for the success of "Pickwick" the novelist having been empl -ed to "write up to" the artist's etchings. Seymour had a con troversy witl- Gilbert Abbott a' Becket, the author of the comic history of Eng land, which John Leech illustrated, and he also had a dispute with Dickens over Pickwick, and being nervous and sensitive, he went out and killed him self. ; Bichard Doyle looked forward to a great career on Punch, but the posi tion that journal took toward Pope Pio Nono made him withdraw and lose the opportunity for wide fame and popu larity which he had sought. John Leech lived and died poor as Cruik shank did.- Matt Morgan's nntimely picture of ti e prince of Wales as Hamlet, follow ing the ghost of the rone George IV, and the even more offensive "Brown Study," with the bare-legged giily leaning on the throne, drove him from fame and fortune in England to a pre carious and liohemian existence in America, though he is now settled down and doing well as the head of a pottery in Cincinnati, and as a designer of lithographic work. In France "Cham" died an unhappy death two- years ' ago. ... Poor (lavarni, the truest ' artist, except leech, among the caricaturists, was in prison for debt more than once, His latter days were embittered by the death of his onl son, Jean, whom he adored; and to cap all, the house in which he hoped to die was taken from him and "Hausmannized" from the face of the earth Even in Germany cari caturists have bad a hardlot, the most noted instance being the father of Max and Maurice." On the whole the lot of caricaturists has been no more joyous than that of the famous clown who was told to go and see himself as a cure for his melancholy. Victor Haco to One Pair or Kjrr. Cbicego Tribune. A Parts correspondent undertakes to show that ictor Hugo is a very much overrated man. Although his genius is undoubted, he is eaten up with egotism. "Notwithstanding his extra ordinary phjsical and mental vigor," says this critic, "he really belongs to the past. He has no affinity for the simplicity and naturalness representa tive of the literature of the ay. In deed, he has not caught the contempo raneous spirit, nor docs he wish to. Sur rounded by satellites, they talk to him enly of himself; they fill his ear with extravagant eulogiums. Everybody addresses him as 'dear master,' and strangers who call on him he is very accessible do little else than echo the prares he expects as his due. Many of these praises are ludicrously excessive ; but they never sound so to him. His hearing lias grown callous to the exaggerated compliments that have so long assailed it. Kb Anglo Saxon could or would endure such a battery of adulation. Superlatives have become so familiar to him that the .positive degree might awaken re sentment. He is continually accosted as 'divine,' 'the greatest of poets,' 'the monarch of mirth,' 'the intellectual ruler oP the age,' and the like. A not uncommon form of greeting is : 'How is the good god ?' to which he responds with wonderful ingenuousness: 'The good gcd is very well.' " A le noon In Fo!ltene. Exchange. I have come to the conclusion that the street car is an admirable school in which to study human nature in all of its phases. On one occasion I saw a neat return lesson in politeness admin istered which was extremely amusing. The car was full of passengers and side-by-side sat a big, burly negro and a nervous, rather cross-looking white man. Presently a lady entered and stood for a half minute or more, when the white man turned to the negro and asked : j "Whv don't vou offer that lady vour seat?" "Sartainly, sah, sartainly, sah," re plied the negro, as he at once rose up, politely offered her the seat and stepped to the front part of the car. Soon after a negro woman entered the car and not a motion was made to give her a seat. The negro waited for a minute or two, and then stepping to where his lata in structor in courtesy was sitting took off his hat and sa'd : "S'cuse me, sah, but why don't yo offer dis lady yo seat?" The man looked as if two or three bolts of lightning had struck him, hesi tated a moment and blurting out, "I will!" left the car. A strata of blue limestone underlies' Salt Lake City that produces a sulj hu reus blaze when struck sharply w th a hammer. ' The Power of Itj-thm.' New York Times. When Charles Dudley Varner put out his first book, "My Summer in a Garden," which was merely the publica tion of a series of charming htudies he had made for The Hartford Courant, the publisher demurred to the common placeness of his name. "C. D. Warner," or even "Cha. D. arner," would not help sell a book, ho 'od din- contentedly. The author suggoTeTl Hir application to tue legislature for a change of name. I3ut a bright idea oc curred to the puULah "What iajronr. uiiuuie name t he asked. He was told. "Dudley! the very thing! 'Charlei Dudley Warner' it shall bel" and if the, gentle humor of the author ever , we may be sure that his name did not, for between the name and the humor, the book had a great sale, and the hith erto unknown author was rebaptized with a name that he must carry with him for the remainder of his life. Bret Harte, on the other hand, has been shorn of part of his baptismal title. When I first knew him he signed his name "F. 13. Harte." Later on, being familiarly known among his friends as "Bret Harte," he dropped ! the "Francis" from his name, and will always so bo known in literature. A lady once asked Mrs. Harte what "her hus band's real name was." She innocently supposed that the cognomen on the title page of his works was a nom de plume. Any expert may rid himself of , an objectionable "front name," pro-" vided he has a euphonious second name to put to the front. In this "way Mr. Jacob Whitelaw lleid, for example, docked the title which a thoughtless parent handicapped him with. There is no - good reason why a man should forever wear an uncouth name, simply because his unthinking sponsors loaded him with it when he was not able to de fend himself. Champagne In .r York City. f .Uany Journal. Two or three years ago the saloon keepers of New York thought that what the city yearned for was drinking places after the Parisian model. This resulted in the introduction of the cafe. All over town were tables among plants in tubs, handsome pictures and com fortable chairs, whero a man could sit quietly and comfortably while he drank and smoked. A number of these places were built uptown, and they succeeded, until Ed. Stokes blossomed out ' with a great big, magnificent, simon pure American bar-room. It was decorated . with pictures, the subject of w hich was usually feminine and always exciting. This gave the American bar-room a chance, and the artificial, stuffy, cramped and ill-ventilated cafes have given way to the more popular estab lishments. By the way, an able drinker assure me that cordials, are no longer popular. -Sherry in generally tabooed by solid drinker, though dudes, cigarette smok ers and very young men favor it a a steady drink Sherry and seltzer is re freshing. It is known as the poor man's champagne. Champagne itself, familiarly known as fizz, is the mot abused of wines. It is the only wine kntwn to the 100,000 drinkers of New York. When they enter a bar-room and call for a bottle of wine, the bartender puts out a bottle of champagne without hesita tion. Many men drink champagne at all hours of the day. They are usually politicians, like Theodore B. Mai tine, who is proud of the fact that nothing but champagne, in the way of alcoholio beverage, has crossed his lips for five year. What AH the Country. I.ime-Kiln Club. Pickles Smith was requested to walk up the hall, and when he had come to a halt before the platfor Brother Gardner said: "Brudder Smith, I has bin informed dat vou has been sued by a grocer for a bill of fo' dollars." "Yes, sah." "De bill was fur oysters, dried peaches an' jellies?" "Yes, sah." "And why didn't you pay it?" "Kase Jze hard up, sah." "Now, Brudder Smith, ie member of dis club who kin afford ovsters on a salary of 7 per week kin afford to pay fur 'em. If dat debt ain't squar'd up befo' de nex' meetin' vou will h'ar sun thin'drapl" "Ves, sah." "In bringin' dis performance to a close," said the president, as he nodded to Samuel Shin to strike the triangle. let me say to one and all of you dat de present ailment of dis kentry am de want of common sense. De man who aims f 7 per week wants to lib an dress as well as de man who aims $12, an' dis piles up debts an' brings about trickery, fraud an' com munism. Nobody am satisfied to bo what he am. Eben de poorest of de poo' will go hungry sooner dan let any body know day can't buy fried oysters. le member oh dis cluu who hankers fur luxuries made fur de tables of millionaires kin make up his mind to pay for 'em or be known in dis hall no moa'. Let us perambulate homewards." Xoblenen for Hire. ' (Nnw York Kun.l The proposition of The World some time ago to provide conversationists for parties here was riot, it seems, an orig inal idea. Sixty years ago, Figaro says, there w as an agency in hprmg garden", London, presided over by Mr. lackman, for procuring conversation ists for the parties of parvenus. He had an assortment of COO ready to start, - like Mr. Archibald Forbes, at. a mo ment's notice for any place In the Brit ish empire. Among them were beven Irish peers and three Scotch, fifteen ruined baronets, and a number of men warranted to tell, with more or less elo quence, the story of tbe Peninsular war. The gentler sex was represented by 187 maidens of uncertain age and small revenue. "All these," said the advertisement, "play at cards generally to tho advantage of their partners' The pay for time of sojourn was four meals a day "and claret if one of theni. is a Scotch or Irish peer." Professor David Swing : Tho young man who docs not seep house misses very much of the good of this world. The latest use of paper is the making of spokes for wheels. : f-