The Columbian., July 11, 1884, Image 1

THE COLUMBIAN.
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at
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OR.,
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. 0. AD A1IS, Editor and Proprietor
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Published Evxrt -Friday,
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ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OR.,
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E. 0. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor.
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VOL. IV.
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, JULY 11, 1884.
NO. 49.
Each subsequent insertion 100
THE COLUMBIAN.
nn Tin
1 JHIJKd
T rr n v it a t v
M M A m
THE FISHER'S DAUGHTER.
F. JL Stauffer.
The fisher's daughter walks the sands.
She shades hei brow with nervous nan. is,
And gazes out beyond the strands.
A wierd-like light the pale moon flings;
The gull have folded up their wings;
The caves give back resonant din.
The wavelets kisa her brown,, bare feet;
She waits her father's step to greet.
Was ever face more fair or sweet i
A cabin stands on the nearest height,
-Within the window burns a light,
A star upon the brow of night.
What speck is that! A snow-white sail?
His fishing smack on tr ides the gale.
What cry is that? His weleonie hail.
A cheering sound above the roar,
The keel grates on the rocky shore
Hod's hand has kept hitn safe once more.
Perhaps because of prayV, you said I
He lays his hand upon your head
You wonder why you feel afraid.
His wife sleeps on the sloping lea;
H:s only boy was lost at sea;
There's no one left to him but thee!
THE CRATER OF VESUVIUS.
One or the IHost Sublime Spectacles
oh the Fare of the Earth.
Sr. Louis Giobe-Dfinocrat.
Dr. C. L. Goodell, at the First Con
gregational church, dt scribes his visit
to Vesuvius last month as follows:
Leaving your carriage at the mountain
railway you enter the car. The ascent
is very steep and at oue place almost
, perpendicular. The road makes no
curve. Tiie . car moves rapidly,
and in . ten minutes you are
within le.s than a half-hour's
walk of the crater. You mount a
chair, and four stalwart mountaineers
Lear you through smoke and steam,
midst the rumbling of the volcano and
the melted lava, to the very edge of the
bowl, in which, as in a mighty cauldron,
the tiery mass seethes snd rocks and
thunders and foams.
. It is terr'fically grand. The mount
ain seems tilled with surging fire that
rises up every half minute in awful ex
plosion, throwing up colnmns of smoke
dark as . midnight and streaked with
lurid fire. This melted matter falls
back wit j crashing, fearful sound, lodg
ing in part oa the edge of the crater.
Before yon are recovered from one
stunning sensation another explosion
breaks on you, n ore overpowering than
before, the steam coming up through
every crevice at your feet, and
the whole summit is enveloped in cloud.
The red lava, as it is thrown high in
air in massive form, seems heated in the
furnace of Vulcan, and as it falls back
down into the boiling sea of fire the
s giit is no more terrible than the noise
-is astounding. The crater seems ike a
mighty pit of liqui t fire thr. wn u in
burning waves from side to side, scorch
ing, blistering and tearing all before it.
iiowf,an-ti!ernoant3m cd'!ie swh a
strain? How the eye bear such"
blinding brilliance of vast masses of
tire? The crater is two nv'lea in cir
cumference, and you must make the
circuit. The terror of the upheaving
tire, and shower of allies acd smoke and
stones, does not abate. The trembling of
the mountain strikes terror .nto
strong nerves. You remember the
tragical d ath of the elder I l.'ny
nearly 2,0l0 years ago, and the thou
sand that have been destroy ed since.
The explos'ons continue to deafen you.
You remember the lone city of Pom
peii where you have spent the morning,
and you decide not to spend the sum
mer there.
it is the mo t sublime scene I ever
witnessed. Nothing before ever made
so deep and trearendous an impression.
It is the meat actie volcano in the
world. Smoke never ceases to float
off from it as a long pennant from the
head, and the crater never fails to show
tire to those who visit it, and it may
be seen almost every n'ght from
Naples. Br.t on this bright day in
March it spoke with a tongue of fire
and a blackness of darkness nev r to
be forgotten. Its words were red hot
boulders and its periods were ribbons
of crimson.
A .louriiallftt'M Opinion of the Stage.
Leander Richardson. 1
There are stage scandals. There are
a good many of them. The ier.son who
is . familiar with the profession can
scarcely sit down to write about half
do :en people employed in the theatri
cal calling without having called to !
his mind a do. en instances which
convinces him of the rottenness
of tae surroundings. I don't think
any c ne who has followed my writings
for any length of time, and lived
through the terrible ordea!, will ac.use
me of being particularly prudish, and
therefore 1 ought to be heard when 1
say that if I had a daughter, and she
went on the stage, I sLould feel just as
badly aVoat it as though she had
adopted another calling with a worse
name. It is not that the stage itself is
l ottcn so much as it is that the calling
gi . es opportunity for rotten things to
approach it. JJoys and girls, I have
been fooling around theatres for a long
time now, and I know 'em fore and aft.
Counsel your children and vour friends
to 0 to the theatres as spectators as
often as they like, but never get stage-
truck.
Mm. Lan;try. and Jlr. Ilelford.
Chicago Tit res. !
Congressman Belford, of Colorado,
sa d that Mrs. Langtiy was the hand
somest woman who tro 1 the American
continent, in acknowledgment of which
Mis. f antry sent Mr. Belford a mag
nificent medallion portrait of herself,
inclosed in an elaborate velvet case
studded with diamonds, pearls, ener
tl 's and rubies, with a note expressing
her conviction that Mr. Belford s re
mark was the highest compliment ever
paid her. She also asked for a lock of ;
Lis hair to be placed in her album de
voted to such mementos contributed by
her inot notable fr'eivls, the prince of
Wales Gladstone, Sir Charles Dilke,
1 ord Lome, Brndlaugh, Bright,
Spencer, Mill, and other eminent per
sons. f cours", Mr. Belford had to
comply, and a lock of bright-red hair
wCs remitted to Mrs. Langtry, with a
felicitous note.
Went Canadian JournalUm,
Hat, Portage Progress. f
I still support my reputation by pub
lishing a newspaper, and my family by
awing wocd.
ANCIENT VIOLINS.
A Doctor's Test of the Muperlorlty of
Ills Cherlahed A mat!.
' Uncle Bill" in Chicago Herald. 1
A collection of old and celebrated
violins is an exhibit in the Bartholdi
statue show. To a casual observer they
look ordinary and uninteresting. There
are nine of them, and they are in a
glass case that lears no label calculated
to arouse enthusiasm. Ninety-nine vis
ltors in a hundred pass them by con
temptuously. "And they deserve it,"
said a bystander when this disregard o;
ine treasures was commented on.
"There is no greater nonsense in the
whole range of ancient violins. The
very men who go into raptures over an
old specimen can't tell you why or how
it diners from the 'workmanship of the
present day in the same line.
"Ah ! but think of the associations,"
urged an enthusiast, Dr. S. B. Tuthill,
of Brooklyn. "Look at this Amati a
genuine specimen, with an authenticated
history. It is more than 200 years old.
Cardinal Ottibeni played it along about
1700. From the pomp of Catholic cere
monial music making, it was transported
to the court of England, where Handel
himself accompanied its solos with a
harpsichord. George III. drew a bow
across it at tne end of its first century
i mis it went ironi the hands of a pope
to those of a royal profligate. After
ward, it became the property of Ole
.Dull, who used it a great deal in his
concerts, and left it to his widow.
All this was pooh-poohed. Even Dr.
Tuthill's own exhibit, another Amati,
commanded no respect, though polite
ness protected it from ridicule. Three
countrymen came along. Two only
gave a glance at the violins, but the
third stopped at them. His remarks dis
closed him as a fiddler ; but he, too, was
devoid of appreciation. He guessed
he'd put his own fiddle into a glass box
when he got home, and charge 50 cents
to look at it. The doctor was nettled.
"He is a Philistine, like the rest of
you," he said, "but I'll let him be a
judge whether or not there is any extra
merit in my Amati. He shall play it,
an.l decide the question without influ
ence." It was a morning hour, and the
Academy of Des'gn, in which the exhi
bition is held, had. only a score or so of
inmates. The doctor removed his violin
from the case. It is in almost constant
use, and needed only a few scrapes and
screw-turns to be ready for the trial.
"1 believe yon play, my friend ?" he
said to the countrvman.
"Oh, I only fiddle a little at home,"
was the diffident reply.
A little urging, however, and he took
up the valuable fiddle and its compara
tively worthless bow. You can readily
guess what he played. "Money Musk,"
of coarse; and with that peculiar.
rytEiJc 'swing : tfyft s?tsone's foot to
snuffling almost uncontrollably to the
figures of an imaginary reel, no matter
what may be the critical ppinion of the
execution. There was no denying it.
The rich, full, sweet tone was better
than the average cf the sounds given
out bv violins.
"Well, what do you think of that?"
the doctor asked.
"That's the best liddle I ever drawed
a bow across," was the reply; "what's
the price of it ?"
"Five thousand dollars."
The precious instrument was for a
moment in peril, for the fiddler seemed
about to drop it in surprise.
. A Xw departure in Literature.
Cincinnati Enquirer Interview.
"It will not be very long before the
first writers of this country will sell
their pens to advertisers. Just now
more attention is paid to the newspaper
and other ads, to space and style of
type used; but I see indications that
before long the matter itself will receive
first attention'. The idea is being
worked by some houses now, who pub
lish a few lines of interesting matter,
with a taking heading, ahead of their
ads. ; but their ventures are only the
pioneers. You mark my words, the
advertising columns of your newspapers
will presently bo filled with stories and
poems from the first pens in this and
other countries, which will hold the
reader's attention to the end, and still
be advertisements."
"Do you think, then, that Alfred
Tennyson would write an advertisement
for a clothing house ?"
"I do. Ho sold some verses on
'Spring' to an eastern juvenile publica
tion la t month, not bt cau3e he cared
for the journal at all, but merely be
cause they desired the verses as an ad
vertisement and were willing to pay him
a stiff price for them. Why, one of our
Cincinnati soap manufacturers has the
first artists in this country at work
turning o it picture advertisements for
him, and artists as a class are quite as
proud as literary men. When the time
comes the new departure- will put
money into the pockets as well of the
advertisers a3 the writers.
Her Financiering.
Chicago Tribune.
Mr. Vereker had occasion to leave
home for a couple of weeks lately, so he
signed a dozen blank checks and left
them with Mrs. Vereker that the house
keeping might not come to an untimely
end during his absence, and that the
old lady might have wherewithal to
console herself during her grass-widowhood.
When Vereker returned the
other day re found a notification from
the bank that his . account was over
drawn. Considerably exercised he
called Mrs. V.'s attention to the fact.
"Here, my dear, .-oa must have been
spending money like w ater while I was
away. I find my account is overdrawn."
"O, that's impo-iblo," replied the lady;
"I have several of your checks on hand
yet." .
Would Juot Suit Him.
Exchange.
"I sh'd jes' like ter see the teacher
wollopmeonce," remarked Jimmy Tuff
bov at the table the other evening. "So
would I," sail Tuffboy pere. "Mind
you, I shall not care if the teacher
thrashes you within an inch of your
life, that is, if you deserve it." "Well,
I shall try to deserve it," muttered
Jimmy unler his breath. "If I can
deserve it without gr-ttin' it, that' will
jes' suit me."
Mexican "Freedom of the House."
I Chihuahua Letter.
Arrived at my host's house he greeted
me most cordially, assured me again
and again of his friendship, and con
ducted me to a school-room to see his
daughters. There were five, all pretty
the eldest lovable. They ranged in age
from 8 to 17 years, lhey stood in l:ne:
in school-girl fashion, as if about to
make a recitation. uiusnes sut
fused their countenances, but they
oast at me many a coquettish glance.
The father looked at them a moment
proudly and then introduced me, after
which he astounded me by telling me I
must niawe a choice of oue of his
daughters for betrothal to her.
thought he was jcking, and made some
remark in pleasantry, when he repeated
his statement, and demeaned himself
so gravely the while that I was con
vinced he was in earnest.
I scarcelv know how the scene termi
nated, for I became very confused and
did a great deal of unnecessary talking,
just as a young man doe i when partly
intoxicated he thinks of some plan for
pleasure that his better sense bids him
to forego: but I think 1 lied to the gen
tleman by telling him I had a wife and
children. The next day he informed
me the betrothal was an act of courtesy
toward an ultra-favored guest, was
extended to highly distinguished per
son as a rule; and signified nothing
more thun that the person so honored
had the "freedom of the house.
The granting of this privilege is indeed
an honor, for no one but a near relative
to a Mex'can woman may, unaccom
panied by a near relative, enter any
part of an aristocrat s residence where
the females of the household resort.
Even the parlor, therefore, is sacred
from intrusion unless one b8 accepted
on the intima'e footing accorded one
betrothed, who then becomes as a
brother. Should he violate the trust
reposed in him, nothing on earth woald
be more contemned. His punishment
would be sure, and his life would be
the price of his wrong.
A PolMoned Grave-Ilobber.
Chicajo Times.
A prisoner in the jail at Louisville has
a curiously deformed nose, which is the
result of grave-robbing, a business in
which he was engage J. Several months
ago he entered a cemetery with the pur
pose of snatching a stiff for a med
ical college. The "subject" he ex
humed was slightly decomposed, and in
removing the corpse from the grave to
the wagon, tiaddy get some of the
poisoned blood on his hands. He was
areless and in a hurry, and didn t take
time to clean his hands. He had not
gone far before he did something to
cause an abrasion on the nose. Thought
lessly he touched the wound with the
poisoned blood on his fingers. Frorn
the contagion septicemia ensued, and
Gaddy's nose became a physical wreck.
Elephants in Pasture.
Chicago Htrald.
The Malav sty'e of feeding elephants
has certainly the merit of simplicity.
When the day's work on the farm, is
done they are turned out into the jungle
to find their own food ; and so they go
rambling about ail night, pulling and
tearing away at any tree or shrub they
fanev. When morning comes the
drivers, tracing them by their own
apparent marks, put tha driving-hooks
over their ears and lead them off to
work. Llephants seem to graze in a
forest quite as contentedly as cattle in
a i asture. Their ability to scramble up
and down apparently impassable places
is wonderful, and a recent traveler
through that land says that he has seen
them break the branches off coffee
trees in order to fan away the Hies.
It Iteiiilnded Him of HI Mother's
Cooking.
Philadelphia Ca' 1.1
Mr. B. These biscuits remind me of
mother's.
Mrs. B. Well, I declare! Have you
gone crazy .'
Mr. B. Crasv, my dear Of "course
not.
Mrs. B. Well, I never expected to
lear vou say that any of my cooking
resembled your mother's. She was a
wonderful cook. I have no doubt, for
you have said so a million times.
Mr. B. les, she certainly was. In
fact there was only one dish that she
ever failed in.
Mrs. B. What was that?
Mr. B. Biscuits.
Concerning Food.
Atlanta Constitution.
Sugar is a constituent of every arti
cle of food. Children could not live
without it; it is fattening, but its im
moderate use destroys health and appe
tite; it is heating, and live starch con
sists only of carboii and water. Insects
called sugar mites inhabit brown sugar.
Art cles needed by the body for fat and
heat making are sigar, fat, butter, oil,
and molasses. For muscle, lean meat,
cheese, oat meal, beans and peas. For
brain and nees, unbolted flour, bar
ley, eggs, very active fishes and birds,
(ireen vegetables, fruit and berries
fni nish the acid and water nc edsd.
Itlchard's Tar and Feather.
Chicago Herald.
One of Richard Cuurde Lion's or
dinances for seamen was "that if any
man were taken with theit and pickery,
and thereof convicted, he should have
his head polled and hot pitch poured
upon his pate, end upon that the
feathers of some pillow or cushion
shaken aloft that he might thereby b
known as a thief, and at the next arri
val of tha ships to any land be put
fcrih of the company to seek his ad
ventures without all hope of return
nnto his fellows."
Only When the Wind UIowm.
Scientific Journal
A flower has been discovered in South
America which is only visible when the
wind is blowing. The shrub belongs to
the cactus family, and is about three
feet high, with a crook at the top, giv
ing it the appearance of a black hick
ory cane. When the wind blows a
number of beauti.'ul flowers protrude
from little lumps on the stalk.
Longfellow : Believe mo, every heart
has its secret sorrow which the world
knows' not, and. oftentimes we call a
man cold Len ho is only sad.
MAKING BUSTS IN WAX.
A Work Itequlrlnjr Time and Pa
tlence-Interestlng Details.
New York Sun.l
The bust made in clay reproduces the
full outline of the head, with the hair
and beard as worn. After the bust is
finished the parts representing the hair
and beard are shaved on, and a plaster
of paris cast of the bust is taken. Into
this mold the while wax, especially pre
pared to enable it to resist heat, cold
and dampness, is poured. It conies
out a pale indication of how the sub'e,.
would look if every spear of his hair
was. plucked from his head and every
sprdtit from his face. Th's object is
then taken to the hair shop, wht re the
artist who was present at the silt nr di
rects the nice ork cf providing the
wax bust with hair that shall not take
away all trace of resemblance to the
original. Natural hair of the etact
shade is selected, grav being inter
mixed if required. Each hair of the
head, beard and eyebrows is inserted
separately with a needle-like instrument
The work requires time and patience,
For the beard ccarse hair of , the re
quired shade isprepared, and curled if
necessary. The shaven chins and
cheeks of the dark-haired men are
"pinked" with a small sharp instru
ment, black coloring matter is sifted on,
ana tne lace is wiped. Onlv the nar
tides of black substance in the little
holes remain, and the face has the ap
pearance of having been closely shaven,
The glass eyes, carefully made in imi
tation of the original, are inserted, and
the eye-lashes put id. The artist who
atttnded the sittings paints the wax
head. I his is a work of considerable
nicety, for there is great diversity of
complexion in persons of types that
would present very little difference to
the unprofessional eye. I ew fair per
sons could exchange complexions with
out greatly altering their appearance.
The sam e is true of dark persons in
about the same degree. As in making
up faces for the stage, it is desirable
to magnify the most distinctive charao
teristic to make a pale person a little
paler, to give a - florid person a little
more color; to make a person of dark
complexion a trine darker than in lite.
Otherwise the public would not find
present in a satisfactory degree the
characteristics which they h$e ob
served an I have remembered as being
distinctive, and have magnified in their
remembrance.
The hair is cut and the whiskers are
tr.'mme 1 under the direction of the art
ist. Care is taken to cut and trim
down to the d mensions shown in the
photographs and bketches.
A Very St ranee Disease.
British Medical Journal.
The recent bereavement in the royal
family will naturally turn the attention
of the medical public toward the consti
tutional affection to which the illustrious
deceased was subject. There is no dis
tinct mention of h-eniophiha in any
classical or medieval writer. Hsepmhilia,
as a rule, attacks the males of a family.
and leaves the females exempt; but
genealogical record 3 show the strong
tendency which this disease possesses of
dissemination into other families
by intermarriage; sisters of "bleed
ers" marrying have been repeat
edly found to become the mothers
of boys who were bleeders
like their uncles, and of girls who were
noi bleeders, nut wno bore male
bleeders" after their marriage, and fe
male children who perpetuated by mar
riage the disease from which they Mere
personally free.
A similar kind of perpetuation of a
disease common in males through fe
male members of affected families, has
been observed with regard to Duch-
enne's pseudo-hyper-tropic paralysis,
diabetes insipidus and color blindness.
I he patholoorv of he mophilia, or the
hemorrhagic diethesis, is still obscure.
Dr. Percy Kidd, in one case, detected a
peculiar appearance in the muscular
coat of the arteries of a child aged 6,
who died in the Ormond Street hospi
tal, in 1877, of hemorrhage from the
mouth after having been a "bleeder
for four months.
When They Sneeze.
Chicago Journa'.
A great many persons say "God bless
us, when they sneeze. ne louow-
ing exp'ams the origin of the pract.ee :
" A c.cr.rd in & tn tliA rabbinical theorv it
was originally ordained that men should
sneeze but once, in that act, possible
only when the time of death had come,
giving up the ghost. Lut .the pa ri-
arch Jacob, leeling tnat sucn
sudden call allowed no time
fnr h RPttlment of WOlldlV
affairs and for preparation for the
nereaiter, prayea ior eiempiwu
the rule, and in answer to his prayer
was allowed to sneeze anu not ui.
The change was regarded as a great
benefit, and 'all the princes of the nni
vnrsn vlipn thev heArd it. ordered that
for the future sneezing should be ac-
ioA urith thanksgiving for the
preservation of life and earnest wishes
for its prolongation.' Hence the cus
tom which has prevailed anicng all
nations of uttering some form of sa
lutation on the occasion of the act. a
very common ejaculation among old
V.ntrliah nsnnln nn sneezini? is 'God
lilosia nt' which irpn erallv sounds more
humorous than reverential under the
circumstances."
Paper Towel for Surgeons.
Thft-Pnlvelinic states that the use of
paper towels in cleansing wounds has
been found verv satisfactory. Sponges
have always been regarded w.th sus
picion by surgeon', as it is so difficult
to keep them iu a perfectly purified
condition. But the paper towels are to
be used once only, and as they cost only
from $0 to $7.50 per 1.C00, are avilable
in tha sick-room. They are from
Japan, and the pale colors with which
they are decorated are louna 10 do un
objectionable. When It Strikes 111m.
Norristown Herald.
Herbert Spencer's lucid remark that
an inchlntal fr.ree fallintr on an ag
gregate containing like and unlike
units, segregates the like units and sep
arates the nnlike," never strdces a
young man so forcibly as when a tailor
refuses to trust him for a new spring
suit.
Cables and Their Cost.
fNew York Herald.
The cables at present in use, with
their co: t, are : Anglo-American, four
cables, co.t f 33.000.000; Direct Unite 1
States, one cable, $7,000,000 ; Pouyer-
uertier, one cable, $8,400,000; Gould s
American, two cables, $13,000,000. The
cable lines leased by the Western Union
therefore represents a cost of $b4,4UU,'
000, or $8,050,000 each. For this ex
pendituie thev have four old cables,
laid ' in 1869, 1872, 1873, and 1874,
and four hewer ones, laid in
1880 . and 1881 respectively. In
order to rmv 5 ter cent, on the capital
invested, the Western Union cofnpanies
require $3,320,000 net earnings per
annum. The joint companies have to pro
vide a renewal fund for very old cables,
whereas the new company will require
very little for years to come. The
joint companies have to support four
boards of directors, four office staffs,
and other machinery amounting to over
$1,000,000 per annum.
The volume of cable business cn a
tariff of one shilling per word has been
estimated at 30,000,000 words per
annum, Allowing to the joint com
panies 20,000,000 words, their revenue
would be $5,000,000; their working ex
penses being, say, $1,250,000 and their
renewal fund $1,500,000, their net
earnings would be only $2,250,000, or
31 ter cent, on the capital. " A new
company with two cables, doing the re
maining 10,000,000 words business at a
shilling tariff coul l earn $2,UU,uuu
Allowing working expenses of $280,000
and a renewal fund of the same
amount, this estimate (which has been
made by The London Pall Mall
Gazette) would leave a net profit of
nearly $2,000,000, or over 2o per cent.
on the capital.
Charles Reade's Grave,
Lon.Iou Time
Charles Beade was buried in the
same grave, side by side, with a lady
who. together with her husband, had
been an almost life-long friend of his,
and to whose memory he erected a
marble tomb with the following inscrip
tion, composed by Mr. Beade himself :
"Here lies the great heart of Laura
Seymour, a brilliant artist, a humble
Christian, a charitable woman, a loving
daughter, sifter and friend, who lived
for others from her childhood. Tend
erly pitiful to all God's creatures, even
to some that are frequently destroyed
or neglected, she wiped away the tears
from many faces, helping the poor with
her savings and clothing the sor
row iul with her earnest pity. When
the eye saw her it blessed her, for her
face was sunshine, her voice was melody,
and her heart was sympathy. Truth
could say more, and sorrow pines to
enlarge upon her virtues; but this
would ill accord with her humility, who
justly disclaimed them all and relied
only on the merits of her redeemer.
After months of acute suHering, borne
with gentle resignation, and with sorrow
for those who were to lose her, not for
herself , she was released from her burden
and fell asleep in Jesus Sept. 27, 18y,
aged 59 years. 'Blessed are the merci
ful for they shall obtain mercy Jiatt.
v. 7). This grave was made for her,
and for himself by Charles Keale, whoe
wise councillor, loyal ally and bosom
friend, she was for twenty-four years j
and who mourns her all his days."
Mrs. Seymour was in her time an
actress of some celebrity.
Among the Trapplsts.
Kentucky Letter. 1
Writing of the Trappists of Gethse-
mane, xvy., a correspondent says:
When a Monk dies o useless comn
incloses his breast," but, wrapped in
his circular, with his cowl drawn over
his head as in life, he is buried. Each
crave is covered with myrtle and has a
black wooden cross bearing the name
of the cell's dusty inmate. At the foot
of each grave is a little stool, where the
father who conducts you kneels to pray
for the soul of the departed. At, the
end of the row is a new, open
grave, which will receive the
next body, and which constantly
helps the father to "remember
death." There are no qualifications for
the Trappist order. Any man who will
obev the rules may stav seven years,
giving his labor to the community and
his thoughts to God, and if he does not
ike it then he mav withdraw. i ne
concludes to stay he takes the perpetual
vow. The sin-sick and the weary are
all here. Few desert, while many have
been for years buried to the world and
its little convulsions. Some of them
do not know who is president, and the
echo of Guiteau's pistol-shot died at the
outer walls. The abbey contains a fine
ibrary of religious works, among which
is a Bible printed at Lyons in 1532."
Two Snobs and Two Dukes.'
London Truth.
There was a story about the late
duke of Baccleuch which' went the
round of the newspapers" some years
ago. He and the then duk of North
umberland found themselves in a car
riage going northward with a com
mercial traveler. The conversation
was general between the three. At
Ainwick station the duke of Northum
berland got out, and was borne away in
a showy equipage. "That must be a
swell," said the commercial traveler.
"Do you know who it is?" "The duke
of Northumberland," replied his grace
of Buccleuch. "And they say," ex
claimed the traveler, "that our nobility
is haughty 1 "Why he talked to two
snobs like you and me as though we had
been his pals ! ; .
CIvIns Himself Away.
lYoukers Statesman. '
"Where were you last Sunday, Bob
bie?" asked the teacher of one of the
brightest scholars in her Sundav-school
class.
"My mother kept me home." 1
"Now, Bobbie, do you know where !
ittle boys go to when they play truant
from Sunday -school?" .
"les, ma'am, ; '
"Where?"
"Thev era fiahinM" oTPlai'mA,! tha bov.
ettiner the whole felina familv out of
the paper envelope.
Struck a Hen.
At Augusta, Ga., the other day, light
ning struck a hen that was setting on a
nesl of eggs. The poor biddy wascom
cletelv roasted lw tha fieron haat and
picked clean.
A CORNER ON ICE.
ninslnc the Various Changes en a
Pall or Cold Water.
, Detroit Free Press.
The first man to strike the corner
where the porter had thrown a pail of
water over the flag-stones and produced
a glare of ice, was an insurance agent.
He slid to the right, clawed to the left,
clutched at a sunbeam, and went down
with the exclamation : "Hanged if I
don't I" He rose up to jaw and threaten
and collect a crowd and almost lick
somebody, and he went away stirred up
for all day.
, The next man was a tailor tall,
spare and solemn. His toes all of a
sudden turned out, his ' left leg was
lifted, and he-spun once . and a half
around before he went down with the
remark: "I knew 'twould happen 1"
He got up to hurry along out of sight,
and it was easy to see that he had cal
culated on about so many falls for the
winter.
The next was a fleshy man with a
smiling face and an air of good nature.
He didn't lose any time going down,
and when he struck he realized that he
had hit something. And yet what he
said was : "Is it possible I He got up
slowly, forced a grin as the boys chaffed
him, and looked back three times to
make sure that he liadn t made
hole which would prove a man-trap for
other pedestrians.
The next was a bank clerk with a
pencil over his ear and a preoccupied
mind. He was swinging his right hand
and rushing ahead when he suddenly
saw billions of stars shining in the
morning sky. His first thought was
that somebody was celebrating Fourth
of July; his next was to scrabble up and
search for an asylum where he could
hunt up his collar button and splice his
suspenders. Not a word escaped him
until he was a block away. Then be
remarked : "At six per cent, it would
be $854.17."
The next man was a strapping big
fellow with an ulster on and a red silk
handkerchief hanging out of a pocket.
He began a short of shuffle as he struck
the spot, increased it in a minute to a
"breakdown,'' and finally went down
with a whoop that was heard half
block awav. He was up in a moment.
Diagonally across the street he saw a
man in an express wagon. The boys
called to him that he had lost his red
handkerchief, and that his nose would
sadly miss it, but he would not wait.
He strode across the street and up to
the wagon, and as ho hauled off and hit
the driver a stinger on the ear ne
growled out :
"T here, hang you I mat s manes us
even !
"What even!" shouted the victim as
he rose up and adjusted his cap, but
the other was gone.
A Cheap John Utilizes the Jiaehln-
ery of a Court of Justice.
San Francisco Poet
When the defendant took the stand
his honor said :
"Prisoner, you are charged with hav
ing removed the goblet from the hand
of the Cogswell statue, substituting a
pair of two-bit suspenders, with a pla
card calling attention to your establish
ment across the way."
"Well, shudge," replied the onender
with an ingratiating smile, "of gorse I
vants to get along in peesness."
"After which, continued the court,
6ternly, 'you substituted a lot of neck
ties for the suspenders, and attached to
the other hand a lot of bills referring
to your new stock of gum shoes and
hair oil."
'-'Dose hair oil is fust rate, your
honor," said the defendant. "I vould
like to sell you a pottle."
"And yesterday, continued the court,
consulting the indictment, "you ob
structed the thoroughfares and created
a disturbance by placing a paper collar
and a plug hat on the statue in ques
tion." "Dose blng hat is cheap at . $4,
shudge. Moses Levy sharges fife und
halef vor dem same kind," returned
the trader cheerfully; "I beats dose fel
lers efery dimes."
"And at night, went on his honor,
"at night it appears you placed in the
figure's hand a transparency containing
further advertisement of your wares.
Now, this is. most improper and repre
hensible." "Dot's right, shudge," said -Mr. Solo
mons, delightedly. "Bitch into me off
you blease. opneas loucit, so aose
noosbaper veiiers gan near you, ana
he smiled benignantly upon the report
ers. "Great heavens," thundered the court,
as a mgimui idea sixuck nun. xb it
possible you have the mendacity to use
the machinery of this court as an ad
vertising dodge?"
"Dot s it, dot s it, shudge r exclaimed
the Cheap John, rubbing his hands ex
ultantly. T swore oud der gomplaint
myself. ,
Better Than Water.
Detroit Free Press.
"Understand that you had a fire at
your house yesterday," said a gentle
man to his friend Col. Snagwell.
"Yes, house caught fire."
"Suppose the firemen did effective
work?"
"No, they didn't get there in time."
' "You threw water very promptly on
the flames, eh?' j
"No, didn't use any water."
"How did you put it out?"
"Went out."
"That's singular."
"Not at all. The other day I bought
a load of kindling wood from a country
man. I had it cut up and stacked in
the kitchen. When I saw the fire burn
ing in that direction I felt pretty safe,
and I was not disappointed, for when it
reached the kindling wood it went
out." ;
The LarKest Oleander.
Chicago Times.
Probably the largest oleander tree in
the world is near Spanishtown, Fla. It
covers a space of ground thirty-six feet
in diameter; from the ground to the tip
of the topmost limb is twenty-five feet;
at the surface of the ground the trunk
is divided into twenty or twenty-five
separate stems, the group being at least
five feet through, and one single stem
is, by actual measurement, fourteen
inches thick.
The Bald-headed nan In Charrh.
Liverpool Courier.
Old Mr. Collamore is very deaf. The
other Sunday, in the midst of the ser
vices, Mr. Hoff, who sits immediately
behind Mr. Collamore, saw a spider
crawling over the latter's bald head.
His first impulse was to nudge him and
tell him about it, but he remembered
that Mr. Collamore was deaf, so he
lifted up his hand and brushed the
spider off. Hoff didn't aim quite high
enough, and, in his nervousness, he hit
old Collamore quite a severe blow. The
old gentleman turned around in a rage
to see who had dared to take such a
liberty with him, and Hoff began to ex
plain with gestures. But Collamore.
in a loud voice, demanded what it
meant. It . was very . painful to Hoff.
The eyes of the congregation were upon
him, and he grew' red in the face.
"There was a spider on your head." "A
white place on my head, hey ? S'poso
thero is, what s that to you; lou'll
know what it is to be bald-headed your
self some day." "It was a spider,"
shrieked Hoff, while the perspiration
began to roll off his face. "Certainly
it's wider," said Collamore, "and got
more in it than yours. But let it alone
do you mind? You may let my head
alone in church. "Mr. uoiiamore,
shrieked Hoff, " there was a spider on
your head, and I brushed him off this
way, and Hoff made another gesture at
Coliamore's head. The old man thought
he was going to fight him then and
there, and hurling a hymn book at
Hoff, he seized the kneeling stool on
the floor of the pew and was about to
bang Mr. Hoff, when the sexton inter-
fprprl- An ATnln.nat.ion va written on
the fly-leaf of. the hymn boot, where
upon Mr. Collamore apologized in a
boisterous voice, and resumed his seat.
They think of asking Mr. Collamore to
worship elsewhere.
M likes Booth's Ride.
Washington Critic,
"What did Booth ride?" asked the
reporter.
"Old Sorrel Charley, the best sad
dler ever seen in this country. I doubt
if the world ever produced his equal.
Of course he came from Kentucky. AH
great saddlers do."
1 "Did Booth bur him?"
j "No, he hired him."
j "And what became of him?"
! "We never heard."
"Was the hire paid?"
"In the sense that Booth had been a
good customer only."
"What were Charley's points?"
"All that a saddler ever boasted. He
wouldn't pull a pound, but a good rider
could single-foot him down from Capi
tol hill to our stable with a full glass of
water in each hand and never spill a
drop, and at better than a four-minute
gait, too. Booth knew him well, and
could ride him like a picture. I doubt
if he suffered even with his broken
limb as much, as has been said."
"How far was the ride ?"
"Down to Dr. Mudd's that night, full
twenty miles away. Sheridan's gallop
from Winchester, I'll bet, was a fool to
that ride. WhenT heard in the morn
ing what horse the assassin rode, I said:
They who pursue will follow, and only
follow.' "
Coeoaoots as Food.
The Fiji Times, in speaking recently
of the value of the cocoanut as food
rations, states that a vessel left San
Francisco with 400 passengers for Syd
ney, and, in consequence of running
short of stores, put in at Samsa, where
a large quantity of cocoanuts were ob
tained. The weather became so severe
that the remainder of the passage con
sumed eighty days, so that men, women
and children were reduced entirely to a
cocoanut diet, and were obliged to be
contented at last with one per diem for
each adult. "Notwithstanding this
diet," sa s the report, "not a life was
lost, and not a single case of sickness
occurred, all the passengers landing in
a healthy and well-nourished condition." -
Consumptive Birds
Exchange.
In a preliminary p iper read before a
recent meeting of the London Patho
logical society, Mr. Sutton and Dr.
Heneage Gibbes described an investi
gation now being made by them into
tuberculosis of birds. They find that
the disease is very prevalent among
birds, and that it sometime becomes
epidemic. The effects do not exactly
correspond to those produced in mau
by consumption, but the parasite
present in both cases seems to be the
same. The disease virus appears to be
introduced with the food, and the birds
most liable to be affected are common
fowl, peacock, grouse, and other grain
eaters.
Mars' Sloons.
Exchange.
A remarkable feature of the two
satellites of Mars, which were discov
ered about 6ix years ago by Prof.
Asaph Hall, is the proximity of the
inner one to the planet, its distance
from the centre of the latter body being
about 6,000 miles; and from the surface
less than 4,000. "If," said Prof. New
comb, " there are any astronomers on
Mars with telescopes and eyes like ours,
they can readily find out whether this
satellite is inhabited, the distance being
less than one-sixtieth that of the moon
from us."
low Very Bold.
Exchange,
Miss Maria Pickaflaw (talking behind
her fan to her sister) The idea of Dolly
Debut's wearing that heliotrope dress !
Mis Jane Pickaflaw Why, it, strikes
me as very becoming. Miss Maria
(snappishly) Becoming! Of course!
Did anybody say it wasn't? But don't
you know it takes a faultless complex
ion to wear that color, and for Dolly
Debut to appear in that dress is as
much as to say she considers her com
plexion perfect. Miss Jane How very
bold of her, to be sure ! .
When They Cet Miffed.
Exchange.
When a Boston girl gets miffed at her
husband she says: "Base tyrant, I
shall leave thee and fly to my father."
When a western girl becomes similar!
affected she simply says: "Old man,
I'm going to get up and get, and if you
don't like it you just climb up on your
eyebrows and see if you can stop me."