,1
DEFECTIVE
k - 4
v. -
i 5
THE COLUMBIAN.
THE COLUMBIAN.
1
Published Evkbt Fbidav,
at
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., Oil.,
BT
E 0. ADAMS, Iditcr and Proprietor.
Published Evert Frtpav,
AT
ST. HELENS. COLUMBIA CO., OR.,
. Blr-
E. 0. ADAPTS, Editor and Proprietor
Advertising Ratm :
Subscription Ratks:
One year, in advance
,f2 tt)
, 1 00
0
One square (10 lines) first insertion . . f 2 00
VOL. V.
ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, AUGUST 22, 1884.
NO. 3.
tlx months, "
Tkroe months, " ,
Each subsequent insertion . . .....
1 00
ORIGINAL
COL
Tironr a at
I
I
t;
; 1
A VARIETY OF LOVES.
H. a Keller.
There's a love for the girl in the seal.-Vin
sacque,
And a love for the girl without :
There's a love for the girl who never goes
back
On her jroung man with a doubt.
Tliere's a love for the girl who's got the tin,
And a love for the girl who's none;
There's a love for the girl of the rolling-pin,
Who knows when the pies are done.
There's a love for the girl of the rural part,
And a love for the girl in town;
There's a love for the girl of frolicsome
heart,
And a love for the girl with a frown.
There's a love for the girl of "hoss-car" fare,
And a love for the girl on the street;
There's a love for the girl of dimples rare,
And a love for the girl with feet.
There a love for tbe girl with tresses light,
"For the girl who dont care a fig; . :
There's a love for tbe girl who sheds at night
The whole of her auburn wig.
There's a love for tbe girl in tbe east or west,
And a love for the girl in the south ;
But perhaps the girl that jou love the best
Is the girl in the north with 3 mouth.
THE RICHES OF GARBAGE.
The Wealth In the Wante and Refuse
f the Cltr.
Chicago Tribune. J
A great deal of money is thrown away
every year by the waste of the refuse of
onr cit es. In Boston some system of
utilizing it has been adopted, and it is
i-aid that the demand for the garbage
far outruns the supply. Milkmen even
steal it from the contractors and carry
it away in their milk-cans. European
cities have for . a long while
economized in this as in other
minute ways that mount up to enor
mous totals. New York throws away
all of its refuse. Chicago has used a
Jarge part of it for filling up the lake
front and for bring'ng up the streets to
the new grade rendered necessary by
raising the city. The market gardens in
the vicinity of the city take more and
more every year of what is furnished
by the stables. But neither here, nor
in New York, nor in other city except
in Boston is anything like au adequate
use made of the wealth that could be
extractei from the dust heaps.
A machine has been invented and
put into practical operation in New
York that may do something towards
solving the questioa of how to handle
those street bonanzas. It is a rag and
bone picker of several hundred Italian
power that will sift and sort out refuse
or all Kinds to tne extent oi xou tons a
day. Until this machine went into op
eration all the refuse of New York,
ashes, and garbage, and street sweep
ings was dumped into scows and taken
out to sea and there abandoned to the
ebbing tide. But the success of the'
machine proves that a, much more
urofits:t2Tise may bo njad of it, to
say nothing of the advantage of put
tiner a stop to the deposit of bars of
bones, and old iron,' and dirt at the
month of the harbor.
There is nothing very complicated in
the mechanism by which this is done.
The rags and paper are picked out and
put to one side to dry. J. lie oust is
sifted out to be carted off. All the
solid matter is thro v. n into a "washer"
in which the straw, the leather, the
vegetable refuse and other light mat
ter rise to the surface and are swept
awav into a crematory where they are
burned. The heavy objects the iron,
glass, coal, cinders, and other things
are carried along on a broad belt from
which they are picked off by Italians
and soi ted into heaps. In this way out
of 150 loads of refuse, all of which
hitherto has had to be carted to the
boats and hauled out to sea, there are
but thirty loads left to be a source of
expense to the city; that which is taken
is heavy and sinks at once to the bot
tom, rising no more to haunt the fes
tive bathers at Long Branch and Coney
Island.
The figures of the value of that
which is savel are the most interesting
to the owners of tbe machine and to the
public as well, for they are an en
couragement to enterprising men to ex
tend the area within which these arti
ficial Italian rag and bone assorters
may be introduced in our cities, which
will be clean the moment it is discov
ered that there is money for somebody
in keeping them clean. The rags are
sold for $30 a ton. The old iron is
worth $8 a ton ; the broken glass $6 a
ten. In every load of 1,800 pounds of
refuse brought to the machine it finds
400 pounds of coal and cinders, which
have furnished the machine with all the
fuel it has needed and will supply some
for sale in addition.
A Praiseworthy Enterprise.
(New York Cor. Chicago Journal.
A commendable movement among
the stock-brokers during the dull win
ter just past was the agreement made
by twenty-three of the younger men to
attend a medical school in the city, and
learn how to treat people in cases of
sudden injuries by sunstroke, freez
ing, drowning, railway accidents, faint
ing, etc. Six of these have earned
diplomas for "fust aid" which is com
petency to render approved help to pa
tients suffering as above mentioned.
'J he others hope to pass at a future ex
amination. Volcanic Coke.
Chicago Herald.
At a meeting of the Academy of
Science in St. Louis a few days ago,
there was exhibited a sjiecimen of
natural coke taken from a mine of lig
nitio coal in Utah. The coke had been
made, it was stated, by volcanic action,
two volumes of volcanic rock having
passed directly through the mine.
Am the Trees Pass By.
Cincinnati Enquirer.
A cute little youngster, being driven
rapidly in a close carriage through a
woollawn to a neighbor's to tea, clapped
his hands and said : "Auntie, ain't it
funny I'm going out to tea and the trees
are all going home?"
Effect of Progress. -
Rockland (Me.) Courier-Gazette.
The yOung woman who bites her
finger nails and kisses her pug dog on
the nose would fall in a stony faint at
seeing her father nip a piece off the
butter lump with his own knife.
Arkansaw Traveler: De season
blushes when de peach-trees bloom.
WHITE CRAPE.
Felix Gray in Times-Democrat.
It was a very plain little cottage
quite small, three rooms and a kitchen,
I guessed from its ouiwara appearance,
and painted a reddish brown.
It stood back a few feet from the
sidewalk, and the little strip of yard
between its IrenoX door and th irate was
a waste of grass and v. An um
brella china crew beshi j Svhose
rrincinal function s be the
holding up to view a ' rd set
tin forth that the premises were "For
Bent." "
1 hey had been for rent f or hree
months at least, and the red placard
was well-nigh washed away by the win
ter storms, before it met tiie pre
destined e es which were to look upon
it with favorable consideration. ,
It was earlv in April. The china
tree was coming into leaf, and the tall
gypsy cousins of the aristocratic dais:es
were cam-Tine in tne weeay wasie oi
the door-vard.
1 ha? been out for my accustomel
morning stroll, looking after my roses
in tfie up town gardens, and, passing
tb cottage on my way home, 1 was
struck by the novel fact that the in
efficient little gate stood open. Glanc
in&r under the branches of the china
tree. I saw a voucg woman standing on
the mouldy steps, looking critically
about her, and a young man on the
tinv portico in the act of locking the
front door.
I halted beside the gate, looking
away, as if interested in the hoisting of
a kite bv some urchins in the street,
and in a moment they came out, their
faces srlowinar with the ioy of satisfied
que&t.
It needed no superhuman penetration
to disc over that they were newly mar
ried and about to set up their first
housekeeping. Her accurately matched
hat and dress, simple and unpretending
as they were, bore the unmistakable
stamp of tbe trousseau, and the confi
dence with which she took his arm, and
the earnestness with which they spoke,
turning their faces toward each other,
told of a happiness some months old,
and beginning to descend to practical
considerations.
I belies e I pass among my acquaint
ancas for a rather cynical old bachelor,
and I suppose my best friends would
hardly think me capable of the warm
clow that sunnsed my heart a? l saw
this voung husband a tall, strong
limbed, manly fellow, by the way pat
the little hand that lay on his arm and
laugh fondly down into the upturned
face of his girl wife.
The furnishing of such a tiny shell
is not an affair of many days, so I was
not surprised one morning toward the
end of the same week, to see the young
man come our. - of the - little-, gate, and
close it behind him, waving his hand to
somebody within as he turned away.
met him at the corner, and could well
fancy that his smiling lips still felt the
warm pressure of the parting kiss.
As I reached the deepening shade of
the china tree I saw her standing on the
portico, her head resting against its
square wooden pillar, her drooped
hands clasped lightly before her, and
her eyes fixed upon vacancy, trying for
the thousandth time to make real unto
herself the strange newness of the situ
ation. At the sound of my step she
broke away from her reverie, and turned
into the house with a brisk air of hav
ing duties to perform. The next mo
ment a window was thrown up, and a
voice broke out in a gay luting song
like that of a glad bird in a blue sum
mer sky.
To pass the cottaee soon became a
favorite feature in my daily prome
nades. and 1 seldom tailed to catch a
glimpse of one or both of its occupants
Sometimes she was about going to mar
ket, and it was delightful to notice the
assumption of matronly dignity with
which she now tied her bonnet on, in
stead of pinning it as formerly, and
covered her shoulders with a little cape
with long flowing ends.
Sometimes she sat sewing near the
window and once, the door being open,
I looked into the very heart of the do
mestic arcanum and beheld her with
upturned sleeves and wide apron, vig
orously beating something in a great
yellow bowl.
It was some time in June, I think.
that I bade a silent farewell to my un
known friends in the cottage.
It was a moonlight night, I remeni
ber ; the air was heavy with the odor of
night-blo ming jessamine, and a mocking-bird
was singing somewhere near.
The china tree was black with its full
clustered foliage, and the moon's rays
could not penetrate to the little portico.
I could see two figures seated there,
however in the shadow, and their at
titude, and the low murmur of their
voices, accorded well to my mind with
the jessamine odor, and the bird-song.
m
I stayed abroad usually late. I found
myself well accommodated and well
amused in Florence, and these condi
tions fulfilled, one place is as good as
another to a bachelor without ties.
It was late in December when I
landed in New York, and a series of
long promised visits to some distant re
lations occupied another two months ;
so March had come round before I again
unpacked my trunks in my familiar
room, and fell again into the loitering
routine of my life at home.
I had not forgotten my cottage peo
ple, and one of my first engagements
with myself was to pass their gate and
look in upon them.
It was a bright, sunshiny day when I
set out to keep this engagement, though
the east winds and the clouds of dust
amply fulfilled the traditions of the
month. As I approached the place, the
leafless trees and the closed blinds re
called its aspect a year . ago, only there
was no red placard.
But what was this fluttering from the
door-knob in the heedless March wind ?
Crape I For a moment the sky seemed
to reel, and the fair young wife dream
ing upn the portico that April morn
ing swept like a phantom before my
dazed eyes.
Collecting myself, I looked again.
The crape was white; all pure white,
like the Easter lilies, -white as the dear
hopes that had centered in the little
the, whose going out it signaled to all
life passers, pleading with every human
heart for sympathy in the tenderest of
human griefs. -
It was some days before! gathered
courage to pass that way again, though
my thoughts knocked frequently at the
door. The east wind was laid that
morning, and the sun shone with a gen
uine spring temperature : there - was a
sound of birds in the trees and a scent
of roses in the air. that it seemed must
speak of hope to the newest grief.
I walked slowly by on the opposite
side of the way at about the hour she
had been accustomed to go to market,
but no matronly little figme stood on
the steps.
opened when I had nearly
passeu' ..a' the figure .of the husband
appeared. He came slowly down to
ward the gate, which he had almost
reached, when the door was again
thrown open, and a smothered-voice
called: ' ,'
"Harry."
In a moment he was at her side
clasping her in his arms and stroking
her hair soothingly, with sad, comfort
ing kisses.
Ah ! well, well, the lonely heart does
not e cape sorrow, and it was not your
scalding tea. Mrs. Timmins. that
brought tears to my eyes, as your
daughter passed the dining-room door
with her baby in her arms.
Wellington's Watches.
St. James' Gazette.
The duke of Wellington was ex
tremely fond of watches, and needed to
have at least half a dozen within reach
and all ticking their liveliest at once,
and this is but half the story. Fearing
some ill might befall those lust under
his eve, orders were given when
ever the great man traveled to
have as many more stwe.l away
in a portmanteau made to fit his car
riage. One time-piece was, above all
otheis. his acknowledged favorite: it
was of old-fashioned En dish construe
tion, and had once been theproperty
of Tippoo Sahib. '
Another of the duke's treasures had a
strange history. Napoleon had ordered
it of Bregnet for the fob of his brother
Joseph, and, as an extra courtesy, di
rected a miniature map of Spam to be
wrought in niello on one side and the
imperial and royal arms on the other.
Just as this lovely gift was finished,
Joseph was driven out of his kingdom
bv the duke, and the emperor, for
reasons best known to himself, refused
to take or pay for the costly bauble.
At the peace it was purchased fiom
Bregnet and presented by Sir E. Faget
to the duke of vv ellmgton.
Another watch owned by the duke
was made for Marshal Junot, and a
great horological curiosity it is. There
has never been more than two others
like it. They, are constructed to mark
both lunar and weekly movement j. The
great dnke gave preference to certain
montres de touche and he had several
of them a contrivance of Breguet's,
having sundry studs or knobs by which
one could feel what hour it was, and
this merely by what seemed "just fumb
ling in hi3 pocket.
The Census of Kneel.
Nova Vremya.
On Jan. 1, 1882, the inhabitants of
Russia numbered 91,118,514, living in
sixty-three provinces and eleven dis
tricts. During the year 1883 there
were 4,043,863 births and 2,826,438
deaths registered, the growth of the
population being 1,217,425 inhabitants.
At this rate the population would rise
to a hundred million in 1890, and in
sixty or seventy years it would double.
At present the population of the em
pire is 94,000,000. The growth of
population is largest in the southern
parts and smallest in the 'northern,
where also the mortality is greatest.
It is difficult to say whether this
is to be attributed to the climate or the
economic conditions of the country.
The average of life in Russia is twenty
six years in Europe and thirty-one in
Asia. This fact is explained by the
enormous mortality of young children.
It has been ascertained that 60 per
cent, of the children'die under the age
of five years, which means 1;500,000
deaths per annum among young
children. It has also been proved
that more than half . of the
male population die before attaining
the age for military service. On an
average, a person is barn in the Rus
sian empire every eight seconds, and a
death occurs every eleven seconds. In
St. Petersburg a human being passes
away every fifteen minutes.
The tor and the 91 miner.
Clara Belle's Letter.
A millinery secret has been divulged
to me, and well, I am a woman, and
can't keep it. Besides, I have a duty as
a journalist, even though an amateur,
to write all I know.' I was in a leading
bonnet productory, and a man was in
conversation with the bosses. He was
in the show business. I couldn't help
seeing that by the plush of his coat
collar, the reckless plaid of his cravat
and the jaunty tip of his bat.
"The madam, he said, naming a
well-known actress, "thinks you are
mistaken as to which of the hats she
saw here will prove most popular, and
last best during the whole season ; but
. . .... . . m
she s willing to take your judgment and
pay the $500. The understanding is,
and we don't want any mistake made,
that you're going to put this article on
the market labeled with her name."
"That is all clear." said the milliner;
"we'll do the same with her that we did
last year with Mrs. , and I can as
sure you that she'll get the worth of
her money."
So this was the agent of a dramatic
star, closing a bargain for the ad
vertising of his employer through the
naming of a popular hat.
Kleetrle Llffht at Long Range.
Chicago Herald.
As showing the intensity of the elec
tric light at long range, it may be said
that at an exhibition given at Washing
ton last week a 4,000-candle light was
placed on the top of the Washington
monument, 4dO feet high, its power
close by was not noticeable, but at a
point two miles away it threw a glare
so bright that a person could read a
a newspaper or note the time on the
face of a watch "with perfect ease.
Edmund About has earned $ 2,000,000
with his pen.
WITHOUT RIVERS OR ROADS
Mexico Daring the Rainy Season
The fantastic. Burro.
Letter in New York World.
Not only is Mexico without rivers,
but it is without roads. Cortez made
a good artificial road from Vera Cruz
up to Mexico 350 years ago, and this is
still in use for the occasional wagon
But the employment of wagons for
transporting either freight or passen
gers is scarcely known in Mexico. The
reason for this doubtless is that in the
rainy season June to September,
elusive the roads are well nigh
passable.
' Mules have been known to
m-ini-
be
drowned in the very streets of tlm city
stuck in the mud at first, and as they
struggled to get free at last swallowed
up out of sight. "You see that ( place
in the street yonder, where it is im
proved?" asked an acquaintance f me
the other day, indicating a spot on the
next block.
I said yes.
"That's a bad place in the rainy sea
son," he continued. "I once saw a
team of forty mules stalled there while
trying to draw an empty wagon !"
As a result of this tenacious quality
of the soil in heavy rains, in a country
where it rains every day for four
months, the most of the transportation
in Mexico has always been done by
huacaleros and donkeys. The huacal
eros still do the most of it. These are
porters, native Mexicans, with a hun
dred to a hundred and fifty pounds of
some staple or merchandise strapped
upon each of tbeir backs. These
make very long journeys, sometimes
alone and sometimes in large
parties, and they carry every imaginable
thing that is grown or used in the coun
try. Some of these are women and
some children. Whoever rides out of
this city early any morning on the road
by which Cortez fought his way in shall
see hundreds of these copper-colored
peons with strings of live elr'ckens,
geese and turkeys around their necks
and hanging head downward. They
have brought tliis live freight ten,
twenty, thirtv, fifty mile1, and still they
go much of the time upon a short-stepping
trot that most carry them five or
six miles every hour. I would like to
back a healthy huacalero to go-as-you-please
against F.owell.
Some of these porters are laden with
gre en gra rs for the city horses (these
women and girls, mostly), some with
charcoal, "the only fuel of the country;
some with wheat or bags of corn, some
with cocoanuts. A strong man here
and there will carry a great load of
earthen pots and round jugs half a
cart-load tied on in some mysterious
manner by a string that goes around
each of the out jugs and I have seen
this porter sit by the wayside to rest,
leaning back against his thirty cubic
feet of crockery cargo that towered far
above his head, and sticking his legs
straight out before him the onlv way
to dispose of them. I have wished that
I could see him get up, but I never
happened to be present when that con
vulsion took place.
The donkey, or burro, trains form an
auxiliary to the landscape that is quite
as pictorial and more fantastic. They
carry everything that the huacaleros
don"t. This little burro, with his aver
age load, looks very much like a cat
tied between two bundles of wheat.
-Look out the window in the morning
early and you shall see half a dozen
burros up and down the street halting
before the doors and delivering milk,
the great milk-cans, two or three of
them, strapped to each of his sides.
Considering that Mexico is as densely
populated as the Ignited States, it be
comes obvious that this transportation
by lot'ng must be quite insufficient. The
result has always been a paucity of the ex
change of different products that leaves
Mexico, in regard to luxury, merely
half -civilized. The Pacific slope of
the Sierras grows fruits which the peo
ple of the City of Mexico never taste,
and the manufactures of one state are
often quite unknown to those of an
other. In a trip last week over the divide,
250 miles towards the Pacific, on the
Mexican National, the train took on at
one of the stations a ton or 60 of hand
some copper kettles, pans, etc., evi
dently beaten out by hand. I asked
some questions, and Vice President
Purdy said : " We carry . those up to
Mexico to market. They are so heavy
that peons could not carry them all
this distance at a price that would al
low the market a profit. The railroad
solves the problem and gives the cook
of the capital copper saucepans when
he has always hitherto used earthen."
Railroads will make the various parts
of this republic acquainted with each
other for the first time.
Man Francisco's Way.
The Cnrrent.J
San Francisco, in 1849, had a mayor
and common council but no police
force ; not a street was paved or lighted,
and each individual had to protect his
own property from a gang of desperate
roughs, calling themselves Joiinds,
who attacked different quarters of the
city at pleasure, firing at men, women
and children, indiscriminately. Une
day, the citizens organized and ar
rested a number of "Hounds," impro
vised a court, empanelled a jury, and
tried and convicted the prisoners, who,
however, escaped, as there was no jail
in which to put them. This stopped
the exploits of the "Hounds, tempora
rily. In 1851, lawlessness took root again
in the city and incendiarism was fre
quent. One evening a merchant was
knocked down in his store by some rob
bers, who were subsequently arrested
and placed in jail. Fearing that they
would not be punished the people ap
pointed a committee, who secured a
jury and the prisone:s were sentenced
to fourteen years' imprisonment. Sev
eral more scoundrels were subsoqtiently
arrested and hung with the celerity of
lightning. . The majority of the rascal,
fled to Australia and other po uts,
whence they had drifted, and perfect
security for life and property was ob
tained. Then the committee left tin
regular authorities to exercise theii
functions, and the city had peace for a
long time. They stopped when they
had removed the source of disturbance
and did not in turn become a terror to
the community.
A Private Koldier's Waxes.
New York Times. !
A private soldier in the United States
army receives $1J a month, rations
medical attendance, full pay when sick,
a pension if disabled, and a certain al
lowance of clothing. The pay is the
same in all branches of the service, but
the alio wan -e of clothing materially
diners. The soldier enlists for five
years. At the start he is furnished
with a complete o ltfit, which is re
newed, with the exception of a great
coat, at least once during the time he
has to serve. His helmet has to last
him until the third year, when he gets
another one. He is given a forage cap
annually, a uniform coat -the first
second, and fourth years,; three
pairs of trousers the first and
third, and two pairs the second, fourth,
and fifth, making twelve pairs in all.
Eleven dark blue flannel shirts, fifteen
undershirts, and fifteen pairs of draw
ers are expeste l to last the five years
He has a pair of boots, two pairs of
shoes, and five pairs of stockings each
year. Each year he has a blouse, and
if he is an engineer or a mounted man
a pair of overalls. : He has to j content
himself with a woo' en blanket the first
year, and another the third, and with
two rubber blankets, or, if he is
mounted man, ruMer pon -h s,j during
the five years. !ifteu white; Herlm
gloves are doomed necessary to cover
his hands each year, rights or lefts,
whicLe-.er he may need. If he is on
duty in extre nely hot climates he may
have a cork helmet instead off a cam
paign hat, in his fir .t and third years,
or if he is where he needs Arctic over
shoes or mittens, he is given one pair of
the former in his first and third years,
and two pairs of the latter every twelve
months. ' )
The value o.' the clothing allowed
each man varies ca.h vear, and de
pends upon the lank and duty of the
man. A seiveaut in the signal corn
gets s?68.t7 worth the first year. 40.r0
the second, $43.19 the third, $40.50 the
fourth, and $o0.9J the fifth, making a
total of $223.2H. This is the largest
amount allowed to any enlisted man.
The chief trumpeter receives $218.43
worth for the five years, and a private
in the artillery or infantry, i 194. 'Jo,
Wind apparently is held to be worth
more than muscle. j
Ani(lomii( at Washington.
YVaxhinto i a:. Boston Traveler.
Washington has a real English dude.
He is not a shallow imitation, but the
genuine article, and has created a furor
wherever he has gone. I saw him sail
ing down Pennsylvania avenue, arrayed
in a loud checkered, tight-fitting coat,
black trousers and a hat with
a brim wide enough t for a
Quaker. The most remarkable part
of his co it u me was his shirt collar
it was black, and at its uase nestled a
tiny. white cravat. As. might be im
agined, the appearance of this being
created a thrill of amazement and the
minor and cheap imitation dudes of
American birth were green with envy.
The subject of mv sketch interested
me somewhat, so I made it mr badness
to make some inquiries an l havo since
ascertained that he is the person who
advertises in the local papers here,
"English taught as spoken in London
A few silly boys and as many silly girls
are doii g" the'r lest to '" quire the
Cockney accent. Foreign gentlemen
seem to be the rage in Washington.
Only a short time since the daughter
of one of the most distinguished Demo
cratic senators said to a friend of mine :
"Mr. Blank, I do so admire the foreign
gentlemen. I think they are so much
nicer than the gentlemen of this coun
try, their manners are so fascinating."
My friend gravely responded to this bit
of insufferable insipidity, 1 beg pardon
to differ with you, but in my judgment
a gentleman is always a gentleman; his
birthpla-e h of no consequence. The
girl and her mother have done more to
drive the senator into private life than
any hundred, of his enemies, for a cold
and heartless legislature has elected
another to take his place at
tion of his term.
he expira-
The tireenlandernj
iGimk! Wor 8.1
'1 heir treatment of the Groenlanders
has for many years past redounded to
the credit of the Danes. The native
population, which a century ago num
bered about 5,000, now exceeds 10,000.
It was stated long since that the ma
jority of the natives could j read and
write, and from personal observation I
should say that the proportion of those
who can read is larger than in the Brit
ish inlands. In some way or other the
Danes have succeeded in making school
life attractive; and though the s nail
natives delight in making dirt-pies as
much as other children, they display a
greater love, for school than is com
monly fonnd in more civilized regions.
Some other branches of civilization
which have been introduced are per
haps less generally beneficial. The vice
of (muffing and smoking are largely in
dulged in, and ' the Bkilling (farihing'
cigar" has become an institution among
the urchins. I heard in Disco bay oi
one child, age.l 2 years, who! enjoyed s
short pipe but it should be t-aid thai
she was accounted precocious.
The Submarine Fighter.
New York Sun.)
The termination of naval warfart
seems perceptible in the coming of a
little submarine craft whose plans are
receiving attention in the navy yard.
The patents for its remarkable con
struction are issued. The vessel will
have the power to rise and sink at will
by shipping water and expelling it. It
will travel on the surface or beneath,
attach torpedoes to the bottom of a
ship, retire to a safe distance, and trans
mit the electric spark. Thi3 is the craft
whii-h is f oon to float in the harbors, or
to be swung on the davit of a man-of-war,
like a steam-launch, j A sailing
ves el equipped with nothing but one
ot these can defy any navy now in ex
istence, 'lhus Jule "Verne's imagina
tive sketches receive verification before
his ink has time to dry. j
- 4enlaa Boot-Heel.
Detroit Free Free-. J
A Troy shoemaker claims that he can
read any man's chief traits of character
by the way he wears out his boots.
True genius always wears the heels off
like a cide hill. j :
CAREERS OF CARICATURISTS.
They Have Made Kvery One l.ngh
Knt Themeelvee.
Philadelphia Treti.
The story that Xast has a life con
tract for 10,000 a year with the
Harpers is authentic. He is rich,
comfortable nnd happy. He has a
beaut ful home ; his house is described
at length in the March Lippincott's
Magazine, and his home life is delight
ful. His position is perfectly, assured.
He has accomplished a greater work
than any other caricaturist who jpvex
lived. His reputalluu" 1 - .IncV jiigu.
It can make no diff erence to him if
circumstances have made his relations
to his paper anomalous. If he chose,
he could break his contract and use his
pencil elsewhere. If he chooses to
draw a princely salary for doing little
or nothing it is no one's affair but his
own. 4-,'ii -
What a career Nast has hal- com
pared with other caricaturists ! Thomas
Gilroy, after getting all England by the
ears, died of delirium tremens. Ho
garth's death wai undoubtedly brought
about by his controversy with Charles
Churchill, the poet, and because he
could not convince people that he was
greater as a historical painter than as a
caricaturist. George C'ruikshank's life
was embittered by a similar ' notion.
He thought his etchings were mere
trifles, but that his oil pa'ntings were
great. So they were in si-e,
but the famous etcher had little
idea of color or composition. Robert
h'eymour committed suie'de. He was
the man to whose great vogue Dickens
was at first indebted for the success
of "Pickwick" the novelist having
been empl -ed to "write up to" the
artist's etchings. Seymour had a con
troversy witl- Gilbert Abbott a' Becket,
the author of the comic history of Eng
land, which John Leech illustrated,
and he also had a dispute with Dickens
over Pickwick, and being nervous and
sensitive, he went out and killed him
self. ; Bichard Doyle looked forward to
a great career on Punch, but the posi
tion that journal took toward Pope Pio
Nono made him withdraw and lose the
opportunity for wide fame and popu
larity which he had sought. John
Leech lived and died poor as Cruik
shank did.-
Matt Morgan's nntimely picture of
ti e prince of Wales as Hamlet, follow
ing the ghost of the rone George IV,
and the even more offensive "Brown
Study," with the bare-legged giily
leaning on the throne, drove him from
fame and fortune in England to a pre
carious and liohemian existence in
America, though he is now settled
down and doing well as the head of a
pottery in Cincinnati, and as a designer
of lithographic work. In France
"Cham" died an unhappy death two-
years ' ago. ... Poor (lavarni, the
truest ' artist, except leech, among
the caricaturists, was in prison
for debt more than once,
His latter days were embittered by the
death of his onl son, Jean, whom he
adored; and to cap all, the house in
which he hoped to die was taken from
him and "Hausmannized" from the face
of the earth Even in Germany cari
caturists have bad a hardlot, the most
noted instance being the father of Max
and Maurice." On the whole the lot of
caricaturists has been no more joyous
than that of the famous clown who was
told to go and see himself as a cure for
his melancholy.
Victor Haco to One Pair or Kjrr.
Cbicego Tribune.
A Parts correspondent undertakes to
show that ictor Hugo is a very much
overrated man. Although his genius
is undoubted, he is eaten up with
egotism. "Notwithstanding his extra
ordinary phjsical and mental vigor,"
says this critic, "he really belongs to
the past. He has no affinity for the
simplicity and naturalness representa
tive of the literature of the ay. In
deed, he has not caught the contempo
raneous spirit, nor docs he wish to. Sur
rounded by satellites, they talk to
him enly of himself; they fill his ear
with extravagant eulogiums. Everybody
addresses him as 'dear master,'
and strangers who call on him he is
very accessible do little else than
echo the prares he expects as his due.
Many of these praises are ludicrously
excessive ; but they never sound so to
him. His hearing lias grown callous
to the exaggerated compliments that
have so long assailed it. Kb Anglo
Saxon could or would endure such a
battery of adulation. Superlatives
have become so familiar to him that
the .positive degree might awaken re
sentment. He is continually accosted
as 'divine,' 'the greatest of poets,' 'the
monarch of mirth,' 'the intellectual
ruler oP the age,' and the like. A not
uncommon form of greeting is : 'How
is the good god ?' to which he responds
with wonderful ingenuousness: 'The
good gcd is very well.' "
A le noon In Fo!ltene.
Exchange.
I have come to the conclusion that
the street car is an admirable school in
which to study human nature in all of
its phases. On one occasion I saw a
neat return lesson in politeness admin
istered which was extremely amusing.
The car was full of passengers and
side-by-side sat a big, burly negro and
a nervous, rather cross-looking white
man. Presently a lady entered and
stood for a half minute or more, when
the white man turned to the negro and
asked : j
"Whv don't vou offer that lady vour
seat?"
"Sartainly, sah, sartainly, sah," re
plied the negro, as he at once rose up,
politely offered her the seat and stepped
to the front part of the car. Soon after
a negro woman entered the car and not
a motion was made to give her a seat.
The negro waited for a minute or two,
and then stepping to where his lata in
structor in courtesy was sitting took off
his hat and sa'd :
"S'cuse me, sah, but why don't yo
offer dis lady yo seat?"
The man looked as if two or three
bolts of lightning had struck him, hesi
tated a moment and blurting out, "I
will!" left the car.
A strata of blue limestone underlies'
Salt Lake City that produces a sulj hu
reus blaze when struck sharply w th a
hammer. '
The Power of Itj-thm.'
New York Times.
When Charles Dudley Varner put
out his first book, "My Summer in a
Garden," which was merely the publica
tion of a series of charming htudies he
had made for The Hartford Courant,
the publisher demurred to the common
placeness of his name. "C. D. Warner,"
or even "Cha. D. arner," would not
help sell a book, ho 'od din-
contentedly. The author suggoTeTl Hir
application to tue legislature for a
change of name. I3ut a bright idea oc
curred to the puULah "What iajronr.
uiiuuie name t he asked. He was told.
"Dudley! the very thing! 'Charlei
Dudley Warner' it shall bel" and if the,
gentle humor of the author ever ,
we may be sure that his name did not,
for between the name and the humor,
the book had a great sale, and the hith
erto unknown author was rebaptized
with a name that he must carry with
him for the remainder of his life.
Bret Harte, on the other hand, has
been shorn of part of his baptismal
title. When I first knew him he signed
his name "F. 13. Harte." Later on,
being familiarly known among his
friends as "Bret Harte," he dropped !
the "Francis" from his name, and will
always so bo known in literature. A lady
once asked Mrs. Harte what "her hus
band's real name was." She innocently
supposed that the cognomen on the
title page of his works was a nom de
plume. Any expert may rid himself of ,
an objectionable "front name," pro-"
vided he has a euphonious second name
to put to the front. In this "way Mr.
Jacob Whitelaw lleid, for example,
docked the title which a thoughtless
parent handicapped him with. There
is no - good reason why a man should
forever wear an uncouth name, simply
because his unthinking sponsors loaded
him with it when he was not able to de
fend himself.
Champagne In .r York City.
f .Uany Journal.
Two or three years ago the saloon
keepers of New York thought that what
the city yearned for was drinking
places after the Parisian model. This
resulted in the introduction of the cafe.
All over town were tables among plants
in tubs, handsome pictures and com
fortable chairs, whero a man could sit
quietly and comfortably while he drank
and smoked. A number of these places
were built uptown, and they succeeded,
until Ed. Stokes blossomed out ' with a
great big, magnificent, simon pure
American bar-room. It was decorated .
with pictures, the subject of w hich was
usually feminine and always exciting.
This gave the American bar-room a
chance, and the artificial, stuffy,
cramped and ill-ventilated cafes have
given way to the more popular estab
lishments. By the way, an able drinker assure
me that cordials, are no longer popular. -Sherry
in generally tabooed by solid
drinker, though dudes, cigarette smok
ers and very young men favor it a a
steady drink Sherry and seltzer is re
freshing. It is known as the poor man's
champagne. Champagne itself, familiarly
known as fizz, is the mot abused of
wines. It is the only wine kntwn to the
100,000 drinkers of New York. When
they enter a bar-room and call for a
bottle of wine, the bartender puts out
a bottle of champagne without hesita
tion. Many men drink champagne at
all hours of the day. They are usually
politicians, like Theodore B. Mai tine,
who is proud of the fact that nothing
but champagne, in the way of alcoholio
beverage, has crossed his lips for five
year.
What AH the Country.
I.ime-Kiln Club.
Pickles Smith was requested to walk
up the hall, and when he had come to
a halt before the platfor Brother
Gardner said:
"Brudder Smith, I has bin informed
dat vou has been sued by a grocer for a
bill of fo' dollars."
"Yes, sah."
"De bill was fur oysters, dried peaches
an' jellies?"
"Yes, sah."
"And why didn't you pay it?"
"Kase Jze hard up, sah."
"Now, Brudder Smith, ie member of
dis club who kin afford ovsters on a
salary of 7 per week kin afford to pay
fur 'em. If dat debt ain't squar'd up
befo' de nex' meetin' vou will h'ar sun
thin'drapl" "Ves, sah."
"In bringin' dis performance to a
close," said the president, as he nodded
to Samuel Shin to strike the triangle.
let me say to one and all of you dat de
present ailment of dis kentry am de
want of common sense. De man
who aims f 7 per week wants to lib
an dress as well as de man who
aims $12, an' dis piles up debts an'
brings about trickery, fraud an' com
munism. Nobody am satisfied to bo
what he am. Eben de poorest of de
poo' will go hungry sooner dan let any
body know day can't buy fried oysters.
le member oh dis cluu who hankers
fur luxuries made fur de tables of
millionaires kin make up his mind to
pay for 'em or be known in dis hall no
moa'. Let us perambulate homewards."
Xoblenen for Hire.
' (Nnw York Kun.l
The proposition of The World some
time ago to provide conversationists for
parties here was riot, it seems, an orig
inal idea. Sixty years ago, Figaro
says, there w as an agency in hprmg
garden", London, presided over by Mr.
lackman, for procuring conversation
ists for the parties of parvenus. He
had an assortment of COO ready to start, -
like Mr. Archibald Forbes, at. a mo
ment's notice for any place In the Brit
ish empire. Among them were beven
Irish peers and three Scotch, fifteen
ruined baronets, and a number of men
warranted to tell, with more or less elo
quence, the story of tbe Peninsular
war. The gentler sex was represented
by 187 maidens of uncertain age and
small revenue. "All these," said the
advertisement, "play at cards generally
to tho advantage of their partners'
The pay for time of sojourn was four
meals a day "and claret if one of theni.
is a Scotch or Irish peer."
Professor David Swing : Tho young
man who docs not seep house misses
very much of the good of this world.
The latest use of paper is the making
of spokes for wheels. :
f-