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About The Columbian. (St. Helens, Columbia County, Or.) 1880-1886 | View Entire Issue (June 6, 1884)
REvm - . - - , i - ' ii - THE COLUMBIAN. THE COLUMBIAN. Published Evkht Fkidat, at ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OR., BT Published EvxnY Friday, at ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA CO., OR., BT E. 0. ADAMS, Editor and Proprietor. E. 0. AD AUS, Editor and Proprietor i Adve RnsrNo Rxtss : Subscription Rates: One year, in advance f2 Six months, " 1 Tkrse months, " : 00 On square (10 lin) first Insertion. . $2 00 00 50 VOL. IV. ST. HELENS, COLUMBIA COUNTY, OREGON, JUNE 6, 1884. NO. 44. Each subsequent insertion 1 00 COLUMBIAN. 1 irlKd THE FAULT-DEMON. Rosa Hawthorne Lathrop. I've seen a white-robed maiden With flowing gold hair laden. As beavy-burdened body as she could bear, And then came a wild black raven, Si Aflrpr n.ni fui TftVin. And hidbiinself all silent in her fair gold Lair. "When she cried, "Thou misln-haven P Tnwi'' xAiil the wild dark raven. And all her tedious life he only said "Cawl" t et sate lie on her shoulder, This heavv black bird-bowlder. And moveI not, would iot leave her, for patience or for law. Now, on her tomb was graven "Thrt Maiden of the Raven. Who jeered from her long tresses for all to see: Some said tint it was pride Gave the bird so lomr a ride." But ho left her when the church-bell rang sonorously. LITTLE PEOPLE. Nomrthlns Aboot Professional Dwarf and Midsets. Cleveland Herald. "I have l)een looking all over the world for a woman no bigger than am," said Che Mali, the Chinese dwarf, at tho museum last evening, "and if conld only find lier, and then marry her. I would bo happv." Che Mah is alKV.it the smallest man of his age liv ing. He is iG years old, and only two feet four inches high. But Che Mali is rich, with a regular income of $200 a week, and is anxious for a wife with whom he can keep company during his Ions hours on exhibition. Che Mah is a particular friend of Chang, the Chinese giant, who is eight feet tall, but who admires Che Mah, not so much for size as for his nation ility. Che Mah has written a little book about dwarfs, himself in particular, in which ho tells of the high social posi tion of his family and explains the tauseof his peculiarity of form. His mother, while walking tho streets of Xingpo was greatly shocked and fright cned by seeing a very small child crushed" to death by the falling of a tree. She was greatly affected, and when Che Mah wa? born shortly after ward he bore a most striking resem blauce in face and figure to the little one that was killed. The child killed was but 2 years old, and Che Mah has neve, grown bigger than a child of that age. Attention has beeu called to the resemblance of Che Mah to the baby killed by the mother of the dead child meeting Che Mah when he was 4 years of age, and exclaiming, as she seized him, that her little one had ' returned to life. The circumstances attracted wide-spread attention and led to a judicial investigation, the peculiar facts of .the wherein all case were brought out. "The most attractive little woman as a'enriost," said Mr. Elliot, of the museum, "who was ever on exhibition. is Liicy"ZarattT. She is the smallest of them ail, being but twentv-one inches and weighing fifteen pounds. She can command a salary of $750 a week, and is quite wealthy." - Mrs. (Jen. Thumb is probably the most intelligent dwarf living. But the only real live doll baby is Hop o' My Thumb, the little Novia Scotia midget, who weighs scarcely more than ten pounds. Martha's Vineyard has re cently sent out two little people, the Aduin3 sisters, who are each scarcely three feet tall, and who are valuable as curiosities because of their intelligence. "The trouble with little people or midgets," said Mr. Elliott, "is that but few of them are intelligent, and many of them almost brainless. A large number of the children midgets on ex hibition about the country are repulsive monstrosities. But when a diminutive specimen of humanity is discovered who lias a well-developed intellect he is in7 deed a rarity. Tom Thumb found him st If a large man when compared with other mites during recent years. But he was one of the first ever exhibited, and his prest'ge gave him a lasting fame. There wi 1 never bo another Tom Thumb. People have beeonia so accustomed to curiosities, and have seen so many l'ttle people, that mites, midgets or dwarfs have ceaed to create the great sensations they formerly did." The Valne of Shade Tree. Dr. Felix Oswald in Lippincott's Magazine. That our ancestors emanated from the shade s of a tree 'and is one of the few points on whi.-h Moses and Darwin agree, and it seems hardly probable that the descendants of a forest should bo damaged by a little tree shade, especially where that .shade is confined to . the six warnn sf. months in the year. After tober, when sunshine becomes . referable to shade, trees do not ob struct the raya of the sun. They merely moderate its summer glare, and at noon offer the best possible refuge from the broodiug heat. No human con trivance can rival tho anti-caloric ar rangements of a leafy canopy frea ac cess to all the win Is of heaven, and a roof impervious not only to the direct light of tho sun's rays, but also to their warmth, which is felt through a single r of as plainly as though a flimsy sun shade. But a shade tr e, with its hun dred strata , of light-absorbing leaves, intcri03es an-ef.e tual barrier to the hottest sun; and, moreover, plants have a direct i efrigerating iutlnence, analo gous to that of animal bodies in gener ating warmth. Even under the blazing sun the juice of . ranges, watermelons, " apple , etc., is from ten to fifteen de grees colder than that of stagnant wa-i ter, and n cloudy summor days the a'r of a treeless district is considerably warmer than the atmosphere of a shady forest on sunny days. Moseniv's Ills Kelt. C'h'cigo Journal. Tho largest bell that was ever cast is tus great bell of Moscow, Bus; 'a. It was cabt in 1(354, and weighed 288,000 pounds. In 173'i it was recat, and weighed about 432,00(4 poun Is. It fell in J.7o7, and was injured, but it was subsequently raised, and now forms the dome of a chapel. A ergi Levy. Chicago Herald. Contents of a housj which was levied on by a bailiff of Blakeley, Ga. : One tin pan, two tin plates, one broken tray, one broken spider, ono looking-glass, one pair tongs, two guns and a "yaller coon dog." LIVE STAGE PROPERTIES. The Risk or Keal Babies Experience with Horses, Dojcs, Kle. New York Sun. "Among the riskiest of risks in a theatre," said an old property man, "live properties go to the front. It doesn't take much to set an audience tittering, and there is very much dan ger that live properties will mar the success of a piece at the critical mo ment by doing the wrong thing. Con sequently, from time immemorial all sorts of imitations of live properties have been in vogue. "Babies, for instance, cannot always bo depended upon to be good-natured and pretty at precisely the right mo ment. Paregoric and soothing syrup have the disadvantage of making a real baby look like , a counterfeit. Of course if it were necessary to produce a crying baby you could bo sure of it every time, but no play ever produced required a real baby to cry in the presence of tho audience. Jt is only the counterfeit babies who do that, and they generally do it in a very unnatural way. In many pieces where the point of t he play turns on a baby, the effect is lost by tho use of a dummy baby. Thus in ' l'oung Mrs. Winthrop,' when the doll baby is brought on, it is ask ing too much to expect the audience to get up much emotion over a mere bundle of rags. Two or three irrovor ent persons in an audience can always turn into ridicule any act where n dummy baby is the prominent actor. But as between the chances of the real baby misbehaving and the chanco ol the dnmmv babv causing ridicule the general rule has been to risk the latter. "Real babies, however, have often been introduced with great success. There is, for instance, a real baby in troduced in ''Confusion," and it al ways excites the admiration of all the women and most of tho men in the audience. The women always marvel at the wonderful patience of the baby, which although wide awake, is appar ently stowed away in a cabinet on the stage about a quarter of au hour. The fact is that the cabinet has a hole in the back, and when the audience imagine the baby to be lying in its dark and un comfortable quarters, it is really being nnrsed in the arms of its mother be hind the scenes, and is put back in the cabinet only when the cue i3 given. "Boucicault would not risk a real dog in the play of 'The Shaughraun,' but .his dog Tatters, who was purely imag inary, became quite a feature of . the piece, especially in the description of the famous attack in the rear causing the destruction of a very considerable part of a pair of pantaloons. Now, there are plenty of dogs who could be relied upon to do this and more with promptness and accuracy every night. The boys who go to the Bowery thea tres know all these dogs and have known thcififor "J'ears. Nothing but real bloodhounds will do to pursue the fieeing slaves over the ice of the Missis sippi in uncle loms Cabin. It be comes really thrilling when the dogs spring at the throats of their victims. That is the sort of live properties that may be relied upon to give a realism to a play which can be produced in no other way. Such trained dogs do not give the property man much trouble, as their owners alone can manage them "Emmet has a dog in 'Fritz,' which is said to be worth $2,500, but he was never half as famous as 'Rip Van Win kleV dog Schneider, which never had any existence except in the vivid de scription of Joe Jefferson. That was so life-like that I could imagine I could both see and hear the dog on the stage, and I wondered he did not come when Joe whist!ed for him. And yet when a real nice dog like the big one that was latelv used in 'The Romany Rye' is used, it never fails to go straight to the heart of an audience. T ho house would always ring with applause when the shaggy old fellow obeyed the commands of his mistress, and he used to sit upon his haunches and look over the audience as if he liked it. Then the scene in the bird fancier's shop in this play, with real birds in the cages, is always interesting, for the birds flutter and hop about in a very lively way. Horses, too, have formed a consider able portion of live properties. Adah Isaacs Menken and Miss Hodson used to create an immense furor in 'Mazeppa,' and when they were bound to their foaming steeds and started on tneir perilous ascent 01 stage carpen ters c rags the elleet was startling, and not to be approached by any mere de scription such as Lady Gay Spanker gives of an imaginary race. There is a telling scene in 'Taken from Life,' where the hero takes a real horse from the stable and make a fortunate escape. "Maggie Mitchell makes a feature of tho use of chickens real live chickens -which she chases about the stage with hoydonish glee, and they form a very important part of her properties. Humpty Luinpty never fails to brine out a real live donkey, who kicks up his heels and throws his rider at the right moment. No Humpty llumpty would be complete without a real don key. In 'Around tho World in Eighty Days' a real elephant is introduced, and in such plays as 'The Black Venus" and J. he biege of Lucknow' there is an op portunity for the display of a whole menagerie of live properties. Here, however, we border on the circus. "Among the novel uses of live prop erties is that of the horse in 'Kerry Gow,' which is shod in the presence of the audience. Murphv, the actor who has played that part many times, has a real forge and makes a real shoo out of real hot iron, tnd actually nails it on. all of which delights tho boys in the gallery very much. I never heard of a cat being introduced purposely on the stage, but when one happens to get into theatre and to walk across the stage at the wrong time it is sure to make a sensation." Their Ages. R. J. Bnrdette is 40, Bret Harte is 45, Mark Twain is 48, W. 1). Howeils is 4G, Thomas Bailey Aldrich is 45, Joaquin Miller is 42, James Russell Lowell is 04 and John G. Saxe is 08. The London Quarterly Review sava that a man is. chemically speakincr. a ittie less than fifty pounds of carbon and nitrogen diffused through six pails of water. Lincoln's "Cash" Htoekin-cs. Indianapolis Sentinel. Abraham Lincoln, while a resident of New Salem, His., followed various avocations. v ith ail the rest tie was "store-keeper" and postmaster. On a certain occasion, one of his friends, having learned that an agent of the postoflice department and a "drummer" were in tlio village tho lonner to col lect what was duo the government from Lincoln, as postmaster; the latter to receive from him, as "trader," what he was owing tho firm represented by himself and knowing Lincoln was never overburdened with spare funds, went to the store and offered to loan him a sum sufficient to meet tho claims he was so soon to bo called upon to settlo. "You are very kind," said Lincoln; "but I do not think I shall require your assistance. - Within a few moments, the agents en tered their presence, and Lincoln took an old stockinet from a drawer, out of which he poured a lot of copper and silver com the latter mostly in pieces of a small denomination. "There is tho very money I have taken on account of the pDstofiice," he remarked to the agent, "and I think you will find it the exact amount due yon." It was, to a cent. Ibis business had hardly been con- eluded when in camo the "drummer. Lincoln had recourse to another old stocking, with a sini lar result. So soon as the two were again by themselves the friend said : "I suppose, were a third creditor to present himself, a third stocking would enable you to settle with him, smiling. "Yes," returned tho future presidenL "Look here, and he held up three other stockings. In each of these is the sum I severally owe to three parties the only persons in the world to whom I am, pecuniarily, indebted. I see you are amused at my method of transacting business. I never allow my self to use money that is not mine, how ever sorely pressed I may be antl 1 in tend to be prepared ' to pay my bills when they become due, without delay or inconvenience to those whom I owe. The simple system which I have adopted using a stocking to represent each creditor anl placing in it the money, to be passed to the creditor himself, at some future day renders the former unnecessary and the latter possible." Trade in llmu'ii Hair. Pall Mall Gazette. Addison, in one of his quaint articles on fashion, gives a humorous descrip tion of the rise and fall of the hairy towers of ladies heads. As fashion willed it, the structure varied in size and shape, and as it was with the ladies of Queen Anne's time so it is in the days of Queen Victoria. Not many years ago huge "chignons" and enor mous plaits disfigured the heads of all womankind, the dealers in human hair and their accomplices tho hair-dressers grew rich, blessing tho latest whim of the most whimsical among the deities. But men, or, rather, women, grew wiser, and all at once the heads, but recently bowed down by the weight of artificial hair, were lifted up, and hide ous "bangs" and classical coils took the place of the former monstrosities. The change seemed radical, and hair-dealers were on tho brink of despair. But by-and-by the discovery was made by one woman and another that not all hair would "friz," and that even a plain knot of hair at the back of the head could not be produced without the aid of the hair-dresser. The appar ently simple shape required, in fact, much more attention than all the abandoned wealth of plaits and tresses. Hair-dressers could no longer be nam bered among the simple workmen. To satisfy their fair customeis they had to become artists, producing bangs of airy curls, soft coils, and artifi cial partings, vying with nature in perfection of workmanship. Long hair had formerly been re quired, and high prices are paid for it, whether it came from a fair-haired Ger man village girl, a bride of Heaven in an Italian convent, or whether it had been the pride of a Chinese, who had only parted with it after death. Now, however, it was no longer quantity but quality that was required, and soft glossy hair, though short, grew to be highly valued. , More attention was also paid to color, golden hair, the ad miration of poets and painters of all times, becoming tho favorite hue, which, however, like pure white and reddish-brown hair, it is difficult to procure. . Monks Had o Cells. Ninetjenth Century. The cloister was really the living place of the monks. Here they pursued their daily avocations, here they taught their schools, they transacted their business, they spent their time, and pursued their studies, always in society, co-operating and consulting, an J, as a rule, knowing no privacy. "But a monk always lived in a coll !" i think you will be inclined to object. The sooner you get rid of that delusion the better. Un til Henry II. founded tho Carthusian abbey of Witham, in 1178, there was no such thing known in England as a monk's cell, ns we understand the term. It was a peculiarity of the Carthr.sian order, and when it was first introduced it was regarded as a startling novelty for any privacy or anything approach- ing solitude to uo tolerated in a mon astery. Tho Carthusian system never found much favor in England. The Carthusians never had more than nine houses all told ; the discipline was too rigid, the rule too severe, the loneliness too dreadful for our tastes and for our climate. In the thirteenth century, if I mistake not, there were only two mon asteries in England in which monks or nuns could boast of having any privacy, any little corner of their own to turn into, any place where they could enjoy tne luxury or retirement, any private study such as every hoy nowadays, in a school of any pretension, oxpects to have provided for himself, and without which we assume that nobody could read and write for an hour. Richmoud Whig: It is a mistake to a suppose tnat it requires a lawyer to pass laws; it is a great mistake. CUT OFF HIS NOSE. How n Chicago Barber Avenged Him self on His Itlval la Love. Chicago News. Paul Varzerau is a barber employed on tha north side. Theresa Barsaloux, a comely young woman has long been the idol of the tonsorial Paul. But while reciprocating the affections of the young barber, sho was fully aware that a few thousand dollars which she possessed in her own right in a measure placed her above a barber beau. While her feelings wore thus uioly balanced, there ap peared upon the scene a young man bearing the prosaic cognomen of William Brown. He was a traveling man. His bold methods of wooing were mora than a match for the iimi l advances of Paul Varzerau, and ho bid fair to win the young maiden and her wealth. Paul saw this with many forebodings. One of Brown's attractions was a remark ably handsome nos?, which was a noticeable feature. Without it a would have leeu no body. It was of the Grecian style, white as a pillar of marble, and as smooth. Young women have been known to lose their hearts to a pair of eyes, to a handsome head of hair, and, in - instances of intellectual and spectacled young" females, to a forehead. But Theresa fell in love with a nose the nose of William Brown. She confided this fact to Paul Varzerau, and with words, every one of"which rasped his feelings as he was wont to rasp the beards of his customers, expatiated upon' the wonderful influence which this nose had over her. When Paul left that evening ho made a fiendish resolve. Two days later Paul Varzerau stood behind a chair in the barber shop where ha had learned William Brown was in the habit of getting shaved. It was on the afternoon of tho 'third day that the ill-fatei William Brown entered the shop and seated himself in Paul Varzerau's chair. There was his nose cold, white, symmetrical and smooth. "Ah I a few short seconds and I shall be avenged," thought Paul, and ho ground his teeth as he stropped the razor. The keen blade cut a hair in twain. "Be careful and don't get any lather on my nose," quoth William Brown; "no bay rum on my face, either." "The puppy I how proud he is of his nose. But I must be calm and control myself," thought PauL He mixed his lather and spread it over the face of his customer, who had closed his eyes and seemed to be indulg ing in the luxury of a doze. He shaved one side of William Brown's face and dulled the razor. Paul stropped the razor back to an edge. He then elevated the chin of the unfortunate man and laid bare his throat. The eyes did not open. Paul held the razor aloft a second. Then with a skillful swoop it descended and cut off the nose of William Brown, who did not even open his eyes. Paul Varzerau stood for a moment paralyzed. The razor fell from his grasp, his knees gave way beneath him, and he tottered out of the door. The nose was wax. "Call Me Kobert. Towle in Boston Traveler. Even Pome of the native Virginians find time occasionally to make fun of tho swag gering braggadocio of some of the citizens of the "Old Dominion." A gentleman from Richmond said to me a day or two since: "The most eccentric character in tho Con federate army, so far as I know, was Sergeant John It. Carp, a man always boast ing of his own valor and achievements. Carp was a character, and no mistake. He said ' to me one day: 'I did more to frighten tho Yankees at Chancellorsville than any other one man. Why, sah, I had sixteen niggahs, sah, j yes, sah, sixteen niggahs, sah, loading guns for mo, sah, and I mowed the Yanks down like I was using a scythe, sah. Yes, sab, they laid out in front of me in heaps of dead meu. While I was doing my level best. and eu joying the res til u of my execution, an officer, sah, yes, sah, an officer, sah, in a gen eral's uniform, rode up to me and exclaimed, "Is this Sergt. Carp, of Goochland county, Viriiiniar I responded by saying, "It is, sah.'' He raised his head and said, "Ser geant, why this indiscriminate slaughter; will not your revenge ever be satisfied!" I saw, sah, that the whole d d Yankee line was waveriug, and I said, " 'Gen. Lee, only let me kill a few more of 'em, only a few more, I implore you.' " I shall never forget the look on his face when he glanced at me and said, "Don't call me general call me Robery A 1,1 zht from "Uncle" Huta. New York Times. A thick-sot man, just a little below the medium Leight, was walking slowly up Broadway yesterday. He wore a heavy fur- trimmed overcoat and a silk hat somewhat mussed. His lips and teeth were closed firmly over a long and fragrant cigar, the lighted end of which fairly blazed at inter vals. "I beg your pardou, Cap., will you oblige me with a light?" said a breezy youtti who had just succeeded in rolling a cigarette. The thick-set man stopped, removed the cigar from between his lips knocked off the ashes with a movement of his little finger, and passed the weed over to the breezy youth. The latter lighted his cigarette, meanwhile snuffing the agreeable fumes of the cigar, and as he thanked the thick-set man for the accommodation he added patron izingly, "That's a very good cigar, Cap;" Tho features of the thick-set man never moved a muscle during the incident. He bowed slightly as he received back his cigar, and, replacing it in his mouth, walked on up the street putting gently. The breezy youth had not recognized him, but many other per sons looked after him with interest, saj ing, "That's Rufus Hatch I" O'Oonovan and Dumas. Tinslej's Magazine. As O'Donovan was taking his leave Dumas complimented him on his French, saying that he spoke the language well for an Irishman. "We are not all uncivilizod there, master," said O'Donovan, "and I am proud to meet you and to tell yon how much you are prized in my country. It is years since I made the acquaintance of one of your family there. I became very intimate with him, and I am in debted to him for many hours of delightful enjoyment." "Ono of my family! This is astonishing. I never heard of any of them who went to Ireland. There must be some mistake." . "No mistake, I assure you. He is well known there, and a great favorite." "You have set my curiosity on firo. Name him, pray.' "The Count of Monte-Cristol" The prince of novelists bounded oft his seat, caught O'Donovan in his arms, hugged him to his broad breast, and kissed him on both cheeks. Then holding mm back from him, he looked at him with eyes blazing with tri umph and gladness, and exclaimed: "You are right, my child ; the Irish are not un civilized; they have wit They are worthy to be French. I was never paid a higher com pliment in my life." Ten Million Car-Wheels. New York Sun. "There are more than ten million iron car-wheels in use on American railroads," said the master mechanic of one of the trunk fines, "and it requires about 525 pounds of pig iron to make one wheel. About 1,250, 1)00 wheels are worn out every year, and the same number of new ones must be made to take their places." ; Slilltarjr Discipline or AiiIm. Malacca Cor. Inter Ocean. J One of the thiners which I foand of absorbing interest to me in Singapore, as Well as here in Malacca, was' the etudy of the ants. There are various kinds, of course, most of them armed with "stings." That kind which ha3 furnished me wiih the most entertain ment is a black species, less than a quarter of an inch in length. They move in processions, s'ngle file, under a recognized order. I have seen tbem crossing the street in processions eight or ten feet in length, with four or five ants to each inch of ground. Each ant. follows exactly in the steps of the one in front of him, never turning to the! right baud nor to the left under any circumstances. As the leader us ually select a circuitous route tha col umn is an exceedingly winding one, and every corner is turned at just ; the same angle by the last member as it was by the leader himself. Tho leader may bo distinguished from tho other members of the ant colony upon close scrutiny. Having fastened the identity of a leader in mind, it is one of my favorite experiments to suddenly I ring down tho end of a cane or umbrella immedi ately in front of liim. His progress thui suddenly checked, he recoils in momentary surprise, and in a minute all 1 is direst confusion. The band of followers have not the time or presence of m;nd to check themselves with e iual quickness, an l begin to accumu'ato in a frightened throng, tha lealer being lost somewhere near the center. The ants run hither and thither I in great consternation, searching blindly for! their lost guide. The ;lat- teri is, of course, so surrounded that he cannot make his escape for some time. By and by the last member of the procession has caught up ! with the excited throng, and then confusion reigns supreme, lurn your head the other way for two minutes, and then look around again. Instead of the disorderly rabble, there is a long, continuous line of well-drilled soldiers, apparently under the strictest disci pline. Scrutinize the leader, and you will recognize in him the very same chief that marched at the head of the column before the rupture. i It is simply marvelous in what a short time a pitiable mob will resolve itself into an orderly procession, each indi vidual ant scrambling for liis proper place in the ranks, but all in the great est harmony. When the leader is once found, the "snare untangles itself in a trice. i i How a Liaay Lawyer Acted. j Joaqu!u Miller. ! "She came with a whirr, a snap, con sciousness and self-assertion that at once was a sort of challenge to battle. 1 "She ran around, among the chairs and tables and men like a little speckled hen that had lost her last lit tle chicken. "Then she fluttered down beside the clerk, slammed down some books, and saying, 'I'm hero to make a speeh this morning,' proceeded to unroll papers and write furiously. j iThe - chairman called to order the lady lawyer was at once on her feet, and, shouting out her purpose to be heard on the momentous Mormon ques tion, on motion of some one fifteen min utes was alloted for her speech. Catch ing up her books, bag and manuscript, hastening to the far end of the room, and laying down the papers, she crossed her pretty hands and looked at us tran quilly, triumphantly, a long time under her gold-rimmed glasses. Inis woman, famous in the annals of this city, stand ing there with folded handa," ' had it all her own way at once. She was pretty, to begin with. No bangs, no frizzles, no foolishness at all in dress or address. Her heavy gray hair was combed back in the old chaste fashion, and showed a splendid brow and fine, earnest face. All leaned forward and listened eagerly as she began, - and as sne went on tor the first few minutes her English,; her articulation, her elocution, all seemed perfect. I doubt if any man in con gress could tne better language, or use it with more grace and precision, j For the first fifteen minuter no man moved or 'spoke, but at twenty minutes she be gan to fail, flounder about and blunder. She had forgotten her piece. And then, poor dear, she had undertaken to settle the whole stupendous Mormon question, the morality and immorality of it, to expound the constitution, compare con gress to king George, all in fifteen minutes !" j i . j Ylnnle Ream's Farrazut Mtntui. J Chicago Tribune. j jWhen Vinnie Ream was'modelingher statue of Farragut the admiral's old boatswain visited her studio. She asked him to look while she worked, and tell her if there was any thing he liked, "and anything you don t like, either,: she added. He stared and stared, and pres ently he began to laugh softly to him self. She turned quickly : "What's the matter?" "Why, you've gone and left out the trumpet, and the old iman never would 'a left it off that day." The first idea was to represent the his toric "swear-word" scene at the pas sage of the forts. "Why, to be sure," she said, "and what else ?" But Jack's courage was gone, and lie hemmed and hawed, she urging him with questions until he burst out with : " Well, now, look a here, the old man wasn't such a d-j-d fool as to go into a fight with his best clothes on, and you've togged him out there like a house afire !" Then he fled percipitately "leaving me, the sculptress said, "face to face with the awful fact that I had put him in full- dress uniform. I sent at once to Mrs. Farragut for a 'fighting suit,' and sho let me have the very one ho wore at Plaquemine bond, of which this is a fac-simile." ueciase ne was n ijeiiuii. Arkansaw Traveler. A man was arrested for kicking an old fellow. After an examination, tha justice of the peaco said : "It was my intention, sir, to fine you $10, but hav ing just learned that the victim was a member of the last legislature, I send him to jail, throw the state into the cost and discharge you." j lA clergyman savs that the baby that pulls whiskers, bites fingers and grabs for everything it sees has in it tho ele ment1) of a successful politician. ON NIAGARA'S BRINK. A Philadelphia Lawyer He Crept Out on an Tells How Ice Projee- tion. Philadelphia Press. "Did you ever hear of a - man stand ing on top of Niagara falls without losing his life?" asked Mr. C. P. Sher man yesterday. "Well, I did. You have heard of the magnificent ico bridge bo low the falls. Having business at Buf falo I ran up to look at tho ice gorge, The ice, "which had poured down from the upper lakes, piled up at the foot of the Horseshoe and froze under the spray. I clambered over the bridge, and, going up on the Canadian side, went down under the Horse shoe fall into the Cave of the Winds. What superb stalag mites and stalactites of ice there were there; reaching from roof to floor, with the thundering curtain of the fall between us and the light. After I had crossed the river by the suspen s'on bridge I crossed the bridge above the American fall to Goat island, which was covered with snow and deserted The shrubbery and trees near tho falls were coated with ice, in places, on some of the trunks, several inches in thick ness, looking as if they, had been cut out of marble, or were the ghosts of dead trees. Wandering across the island, I crossed over to the Three Sisters, and, by means of a jam of great blocks of ice, out to tho old canal-boat, past which the water was rushing swiftly. Going back to Goat island, 1 went down to tho foot-bridge to Terrapin rock, where the old tower used to stand, and ont on tho rock. When I got there I observed that a quantity of ice, covered with snow, had by some means become fixed upon the project ing rocks on the edge of the Horseshoe fall beyond tho rock where I stood, forming a bridge on the extreme edge of the fall, and about 100 feet long by perhaps ten or fifteea feet wide. In stantly the desire to go upon this bridge and look over the fall seized me. L dug out a stone irom tne snow as heavy as I could lift, and, stepping out as far as 1 dare, threw it with all my force upon the bridge, which stood firm, the stone sticking fast in the snow. Then I ran back to the island and broke off a good staff, and, com iDg back to Terrapin rok, commenced the rather trying journey. The snow which covered the ice was itself covered with a thin coating of ice, which broke beneath my feet, thus giving me a good foothold; and as to my head, I was sure of that, as I had thor oughly tested its anti-dizziness tho pre ceding summer on shipboard and among the Swiss glaciers and precipices. Prodding my staff or alpenstock heavily into the snow before me to try the way, I walked out untl I had reached about the middle of my ice bridge, and then I stopped to look. Tho sight was the grandest and the most awe-inspiring I have ever beheld. As I looked up the river the curve on the on-coming water seemed almost as high ns my head, and 8tead3ing my eye upon some floating particle, the whole mass teemed coming down upon me with an irre sistible power ihat must inevitably carry me over the br.'ni and into eternity, but with a swift, hissing rush, it swept under me, leaped out, and with a horrible roar plunged into the awful chasm, whence huge clouds of spray, like the smoke of its torment, ascend ing, swept back and over me. "Steadving myself by my staff, I sank quietly upon uiy knees, then stretched myself iiat upon my stomach, and looked down over tho fall, lou can imagine what I saw. When the spray would clear away, the water, rushing so swiftly as to appear to be drawn into lines and furrows, and,' springing out under my very face, coull be seen to fall, at first a solid, greenish mass, then broken into foam , into a chaos which tho eve could not penetrate. I could feel my bridge trembling with the rush of the water, and realizing that any mo ment might see it and me following the descending Hood, I arose, took one look up and down a look to last for a life time and retraced my steps. As 1 passed tho rock 1 l al thrown on the bridge, I could not resist tho tempta tion of dislodging it and seeing it whirl away over tho liquid procipice. A Western Inek Htory. Carson (Nev.) Appeal. As tho storm somewhat subsided last Monday, tuiu Fletcher thought he would go out and see ii lie could Kill a few of the ducks that, immediately after a snowstorm, are iound abundantly in the spring holes in different parts of the valley. Mounting his snow shoes, ho proceeded to the vicinity of the hot springs. As ho was slipping along over fivo or six feet of snow, his eye on the lookout for game, he heard the distinct quack of a duck nearly beneath his feet. Surprised, ho ran his snow shoe into what appeared to be a cave. Im mediately a big mallard fie w out, which was quickly knocked endwise with his pole. Another big duck then came, which he caught in his hands and wrung its neck. Then another popped out, which met the same fate : then an other, until thirty-eight ducks lay dead at the hunter's feet. Being curious to know what sort of a place ho had struck, Fletcher made a larger opening and found that he was just abovo a large spring 'hole about twelve feet in diameter. The ducks, during the storm. had taken refuge there, it being pro tected by a bank on the windward side. The violent wind had drifted snow from the bank over the pool, forming at first a shelf and at last a complete roof, and the birds were securely imprisoned. If Mr. Fletcher had not discovered their retreat, they would probably have starved to death before the sun released them from their curious confinement. , Iconise Michel. Chicago Herald. J Louise Michel has been permitted to leave her Clermont prison fo. a few hours at a time to visit her sick mother. She is spending most of her time in writing b a r.ea for young people, and the storh s are of a characier peculiarly adapted to qualify young, people for a uture residence l:ke h.rs, in priSJii. In a Chinese citv when a man goes out after dark he carries a pa. er lantern with his name and add re a upon it.. The First Ioaaeoratlon. Ben: Perley Poore's Reminiscences. 1 William Dunlap, tho artist, graphic ally described the appearance of oshington and other dignitaries at the first inauguration. The oath was administered on the balcony of Federal hall, in Wall street, New York, where a statue of Washington now marks the spot. This building had been erected for the accommodation of congreRS under tho direction of Major L'Enfant, a French officer -of enginoera, who afterwards planned the city of Wash ington. In front of the balcony were the volunteer companies of militia in fall uniform, with a large concourse of citizens. Gen. Washington is described as having worn that day a plain suit of brown cloth, coat, waistcoat ana breeches of home manufacture, even to the buttons, on which llollinson, an on- graver, had portrayed the arms of the" United States. White biik stocKings showed the contour of a manly leg; and his shoes, according to the fashion of that day, were ornamented with buckles. His head was uncovered and his hair dressed and powdered, for such was the universal custom of the time. Thus was his tall, fine figure presented to our view at the moment which forms an epoch in the history of nations. John Adams, a shortor figure, in a simi larly plain dress, but with the (even then) old-fashioned Massachusetts wig. stood at Washington s right hand, and opposite to' the president-elect stood Chancellor Livingston in a full suit of black, ready to administer the pre scribed oath of olhce. Between them was placed Mr. Otis, the clerk of the senate, a small man, bearing the Bible on a cushion. In the background of . this picture and in the right and left compartments formed by the pillars stood the warriors and sages of the revolution. When all was ready Gen. Washing ton stretched forth his right hand with that simplicity and dignity which char acterized all his actions, and placed it on the 0eu book. The oath of office was read, tho Bible was raised and he bowed his head upon it, reverentially kissing it. The chancellor then made proclamation, "God save George Wash ington, president of the United States of America." A shout went up from the multitude, cannon were fired near by, the music played and every one ap peared delighted. Trial by Jury. "Gith" in Philadelphia Time I would not ha surprised if in the next few years there were some re markable changes made in this city. Even trial by jury is becoming regarded as an obsolete institution, too cumbrous and uncertain for modern administra tion. Why should twelve men be called away from their work to decide a case that three judges can understand in a limited time and settle more justly? Here are the courts crowded every day with, jurymen waiting to get on a case and all ardent to go home. They regard themselves in a measure as injured by having been summoned, and they often find verdicts according to the delays lawyers relatively interpose. When they go out to deliberate, if there is a disagreement iney uo not wait about it five minutes, but one side or the other gives up or they compromise. Hence tho principle involved in the trial is lost sight of entirely. Besides, these juries of . twelve men are com posed of some exceedingly ignorant per sons, who sleep and nod during the case, and by the end of the trial forget what the beginning was. Three judges would not go to sieep and would make tho lawyers hurry up, and we should not therefore have our courts clogged with cases, some of which take a week or two to try, when men who understand the law would close them up in half a day to a day. The Mpeaker's (Uavel. Washington Letter. It has become customary, by courtesy. for a retiring speaker to take with him the gavel he has used, to keep as a relio in his family ; so a new one must bo made for each speaker elected. Tho new one iuade for the present speaker has a very plain, stout round hickory handle, about ten inches long. Its mallet is a stout piece of ivory, about fivo inches in circumference, and on either end are two blue circlos. . The first handlo mado for this now gavel was a fancy one of ebony, with various projections and indentations; making it very weak in certain places ; so at tho last moment a new handle had to be made, lest the new speaker should break the ebony one tho first time ho used it with emphasis, lie is not a man, however, giving to acting on violent impulses or easily provoked to anger on any occasion. 1 wo of those, however, whom he has within a few weeks called to take his place in tho chair have broken the strong handle of tho new gavel. Once tho mallet-end flew off tho handle and just missed striking one of tho clerks at the table in front of the speaker's desk upon tho head. Such a blow from tho heavy piece of ivory would have been painful if not serious in its ellects. Kna-llsh Women as Fire-Bnlider,. IT. Goodman in Cleveland Herald. There are no women in the world better posted on fire-making than tho daughters of England. Ihey. dons feel ashamed of it in any class. They pride themselves with using the tongs to perfection. -By carefully placing the coals on the fire instead of throw ing them on they leav an opening to let the blazo through between the pieces, and that is the reason that the fires of English houses have a smoother and more cheerful appearance than elsewhere. With such coals as we have they might have the handsomest fires in the world. It is a dainty thing to make a nice fire in a polished grate. The 'nrrin" Htyle, Philadelphia Call. Jones I see it stated that private coachmen of very fashionable families are now attired in heavy furs such as gentlemen used to wear. smith xe8, it is necessary. Jones Why should it bo necessary. Smith To - distinguish them from the gentlemen who are now attired in heavy, short-waisted, long-tailed, big buttoned coats such as coachmen used to wear.